hehe.. met up wif him... haha.. he was late for 10 mins!!! liao.. really muz tell him earlier timing siazz!!

had a nice dinner... hehe.. n chatted lah.. when we walked in, wah, attracted some attention siazz.. he dressed in casual home wear, mi in proper work attire :D

after dining, he wanna send mi home, but i oso wan :) later hor, just we reaching mrt, we decided to chat, n ended up going outta mrt again.. umm.. think he was wondering y i so queit.. so he thot i wanna ask him some qns.. but i jus wanna chat loh...

knew him more n better.. later i sent him home oso. haha.. he damn FARNIE!! i lived in his area for 10 yrs, den he worried i dunno how to walk home.. hahah!!!

den, got home, n roommate is using PC.. din tok at all.. think he was peeping at mi at times. well, isn't this wat he wan? he ask mi qns, i answer. nothing to tok mah... as he said. yes, i rmb this line. yes, i wun forget.

e only puzzling thing is, after his training, why is he still home?

den my date called mi... saying will meet mi tonight... had nothign to tok at all... was wondering wat actually happened... den he msg'ed mi soem more stuff... n i think i knnow wat he was trying to do... n my mood changed for the better... :D

den morning, woke up quite early... n went for bfast.. wah this time i oso du lan abt my sis liao.. tat during bfast, fior the first time, i dun sit beside her at all!

i think she kinda zat teo oso... n for the whole meal, din look at her at all.. totally ignoring n bochap her.. later she striked a conversation wif mi.. den.. our ice kinda melted...

den when things are done, i went home to settle PC stuff... den hor, my roommate actually sms'ed mi to record a show for him.. i replied "i not at home, n dun assume". wah liao, fancy telling mi directly to record his show. but later, i did record... cos i know he was kinda rushing to go out, den din record...

but hor ,i... kinda expected too much from.. thot he'll thanks mi for recording for him... but he din... he still din change at all...

so, i continued my stuff of daily routine.

din have any chance to tok wif him at all... or arther, i din give any chance... he wanted to tell mi tat PC got some problem, but i oso din bother much...

later, my date wanna call mi, but i rejected. roommate did offer his hp to tok.. but i either bochap or din care...

but jus when i abt to sleep, date msg'd mi something tat left mi devastated for the night. totally ... lost n disappointed.,. left mi weeping thru the night.. was trying hard to stop the flow of tears, but a few rows stlll dampened the pillow... suddenly, my flu came back. was kinda struggling hard to keep my voice low and my legs fidgetted as well...

came to work in low spirits... totally... no mood to tok... changed my msn from "why am i so easily heart-broken" den "why am i always the victim"?

though we both same room, n teased each other ,we fully clothed at all times!! hehe... n hor, wah his thinking is pretty complex.. really more chim n complex when i first knew him... thot he some innocent kids,... he oso have same impression of mi lah :) but we soon told more :)

wah den, in the end, session pushed from noon, to early evening... roommate's frn came over.. dunno why he said, "u know each other liao right? no need intro hor?" so laxy of him.. but nvm, he din intor, i oso bochap..

den wah liao, i damn hungry n took dinner first. come back, hehe.. tat guy is oredi at my blk waiting.. wah, he recognise mi n even pull a prank on mi!! i dun really recognise his face lah.. but i know his body is nice... den at my place, i suggested drugging him.. n he is DAMN strng.. luckily he played along wif mi.. small sized kid.... pinned him down n played wif him.. wow... his pte is real big!!!

at tat point, i had this thinking: size does matter.. at least for him... den later, a real master came over, and tat started the whole game... hahah... was so fun.. especially the way he struggled.. phew.. he know my limits so din fight hard thanks!!!

was pertty fun!!!

witnessed and learned a lot. but 2 bad, the slave dun wan JO... den later, went back home to rest... den i was busy... fixing my pc... but fell asleep in no time... den my roommate oso no coming home...

friday.. went to office KTV again.. wah this time, so few ppl, after taking my dinner there, i went all out to sing till i SONGZZZ!! sing a number of oldies... hehe.. den my female colleague dedicated some females songs to let mi sing.. wah.. she hor, thot female songs muz females sing.. no wat.. as long u cna get the feeling right.. can mah..

den the most power song i sang was "gu yue zhao jin chen" (ancient moon shines upon the modern city) LOL... got home pretty early... but dunno y i so damn tired,.,. cant even wait for my date's call, den jus dozed off on bed...

roommate came home, saw i lying there.. n asked if i alrigth, i told him i was alright. den i din bother much else abt him... haha.. later received a call from date, n i replied i veli tired.. den i woke up at 3am, 5, 8++...

den... all the way i was preparing for a session in noon hehe.. but date called mi.. to help wif his moving of things :) i agreed n went over... carried things for him... den suggested tat he can actually come to my place as an audience hehe... oh ya, his new place is near my OLD livign quarter!

den oso chated wif him.. seem tat, he not much keen to know my past n family bg...

finally brought him to my place.. sat down, talked... n he rested...

wah, arranging is so tiring n complex!!

den.. tok to him till 1+.. almost 2 am

hehe.. quite alrigth n fun to live myself :)

den this morning, called him again.. this time, jus b4 i hang up, i actulaly told him .. hehe.. said honeyed words to him siazz.. hehe... n i think from now on, i'll go all out to get him :)

i dun think i'm sick or tired of updating the blog.. sometimes jus dun feel like putting any thinking down here... not 'cos ppl who are concerned abt mi are reading this pg, nor due to ppl may actually know wat i'm thinking n pinpoint tat.. but perhaps more to a bleak future...

bleak future, so no much keenness to udpate? perhaps...

right now, umm... ya, sometimes, ppl may read my diary.. so.. nowadays cant really put exactly wat i wanna down here... umm i guess i think of a way out slowly..

right now, future is prtty bleak.. dunno wat's gonna happen... keep my fings crossed? dun even know it means... perhaps another time for mi to plan wat's going to really hapen to mi? my turning point? cos during my last employment, the relaxing n SIMPLe admin job let me have the luxury of thinking n analysing abt my future... like now...

anyway, ytday, was pretty a fine day.. less.. having to sort out some relation issues.. but oso a sucky day. cos... our supervisor announced some changes, but those changes are rather... boliao...

after work, met up wif a close frn for movie.. watched Incredibles.. luffed till tummy pain hha.. n had planned to meet someone for SM fun hehe.. but gave up cos meeting frn...

den... after movie, sat down to tok n chat.. although oni 2 of us, but we enjoyed the time pretty fine... this is wat frns are for... joked n tased each other... but i think my lone days are coming soon... sighzz... bleak future...

den jus as we were walking, suddenly saw a lady faint by the escalator!!! i thot she was only pretending n having fun n din really care, till the person beside her helped, then my frn asked "shall we help?" only den, i recovered myself n went forward to help her up...

oh.. she diabetic... ask around, no sweet to give.. even the bunch of teens around dun have,.. n dunno how to help us oso... haha.. i even took her pulse siazz.. den we sent her up to take cab.. but all cab taken liao.. so we caught a patrol car.. hehe.. to think my frn actually took a liking to the cop hahah.. he's not bad looking lah... at least the body is fit...

den when thigns are done, we went back to chat.. hehe... n tlkaed lotsa cock...

den i went home.. n calle dmy date... chatted quite a bit.. n i assured him of my position n stand... hehe..

umm.. been thru the down side again... sighzz...

wah liao, now i finished updating the backlog of my diary... feel so boring n lost...

ytday haha... tried new bondage method on slave.. but failed damn! n my date asked mi out in the midst of thigns.. err... he wanna tok... :)

right now, i n roommate .. i think is exactly wat he wan... nothing to tok... jus yes or no loh.. but i can feel tat he trying to joke wif mi again.. but sorri loh.. no mood liao...

hehe.. on amei sunday, i made a video of her dancing siazz!!

den thx to a frn who working in radio, we managed to catch her in radio... n he oso tok mi inside to take pic with her!!! i so damn excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HIP HIP HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

her voice is still over powering, but she lacks good songs... sighzz...

den when i got home on sunday i think, i spoke to him... n he kinda replied in a soft voice oso.. not those bochap but scaredy type... but i still quite cold towards him..

den monday night, after i came home, din tok to him at all... he came back from soccer so oso quiet silent.. din tok... late rhe went to do laundry. he out, so i switched off light.. hehe.. he din dare/want to turn them on... den in morning, he went out early.. i think to work.. cos i msg him when he's not back at home.. last night, he told mi he not home for few days, but i din listen, so msg'ed him..

so i ask him, he replied, den send some more msg to mi...

anyway, when my frn was there in my room, roommate oso wanna tok to mi.. but i simply dun feel like toking to him.. cos i pissed... but i still blurted out "we nothing to talk".. para-phrasing him.

dne sunday, went home to prepare to meet amei!!!! got home, n asked family if they read my finance plan.. they read. ok, i go back later to check wif them.

arranged to meet frns to go over.. but things cock up, i went downtown east alone. wah, happy n excited tt i went over myself!!!

but hor, quite sianzz lei.. time is 4-6pm, but she came 5pm. but nevertheless, i got crazy once i saw her.. screamed n shouted!! my frn there.. haha.. we pretty close, n ppl kinda noted us LOL.. n he even used my cam fopr his own use!!!

den took bus home immediately to watch amei.. i recorded her part. den at home, tried to convince my sister. thot will be easy as it's good education. but DAMN!!! they refused to support me!! tok abt unity??

so i went home irritated.

called a fetish frn and chatted... oh yeah.. my date came back from msia!!

den when got home, i questioned my roommate on some stuff.. n kinda broke the ice a bit... but he tried to be touchy, n i said firmly "dun touch me".. was he startled?

anyway, dunno when i'll be appeased though... haha.. gues he never made a person living wif him so mad n pissed b4... when someone's cooled down, he can actually slowly use honey words to tok to tat person.. haha...

my anger's over, but need time to cool down still...

oh ya... with the date, he not free tis wk... n i always call him pretty late... damn...

oh.. ya,.. i am dating a person who i met at bowling there... hehe... he going overseas back to msia... n we msg each other pretty much hehe..

haah.. while on hsi trip, he keep msg'ing n calling mi back.. at times, he feel he not worthy of mi.. he feel no part of him stands out.. but i oso assure him i go by feelings...

den since he left, i went to find other frns.. met up wif a bowling frn oso.. went out wif him.. had wanna go movie, den buy racket, den go badminton and lastly wedding dinner... den go chiong. but end up din buy racket.. haha. n knew more abt him oso :) n he dun wan rush here there, so din go badminton.

but some flirting took place hahah... but for him, i cant really confirm if he's more to testing my loyalty towards love, or jus flirting. or really keen on mi... i know he wanna mi.. but dunno if it's more to LTR or wat.. simply dun feel he's keen on knowing mi more, but more to flirting n honey words...

after diner, went to find frns to chiong.. met up wif tat bowling frn. but 2 bad, he either duno how to get ppl into chats.. so i was pretty quiet... even when he tried his best...

in end, he went home first, while i went over to find other frns... this is when i got the sudden feel of love sick depression...

when i got home, he oso came down softly on mi.. meaning.. he spoke apologetically to mi.. like he in the wrong like dat...

but i totally ignored him... simply din tok at all.. he ask qns i oso din reply. went to watch my charmed, tok to frns on hp.. totally dun care abt him..

den next day, i.. suddenly dun wan go work.. so took mc... well, i duno wat time he leaving so i went home to kill some time... dun wan to fac him.. damn sianzz...

forgot wat i did tat day liao.. but used my home line to call frns to chat loh... n complained to his bf... haha.. din expect him to have such reactions :)

not exactly sure wat i did tat day,... went badminton? dunno. but tat day was spent peacefully... oh ya, i think a frn came over... hehe.. after some thinkig back, i think it's right.

frn came over to sleep. he wanna help us make up. but i really damn pissed wif him.. so no use.. din even tok.. den roommate try to make some cold jokes... ahah... but 2 bad, i really pissed n disappointed at him. wanna tok to mi, but i dun wna give him chance. really pissed mi to limit.

oh ya, this was the day i bought the finance plan to family to read...

den tuesday, i was working, den frn n roommate bf called mi.. saying he din work.. i caleld twice.. oso no ans.

wah liaozz.. wat now?? suddenyl dun work again.

later i emailed him to ask wat exactly happened. he then msg mi back.. when he woke abt 2pm. wel i din msg him at all...

when i went home, abt 12am, he was still wide awake. i then asked in a firm tone, why he din go work. he explained to mi. den after some conversing, started to tok to him harshly.. sianzzz... really dunno wat happened to him.

den next morning(wesnesday), he woke up n went for his interview.. for mi i took a day off. went to check on overseas study stuff... den i msg him i meeting him later. he told mi he not sure where he'll b, and will tell mi later. den i wait there 1.5 hr, he finally msg mi back, saying he not meeting mi anymore.

HUHUH?????????????? i waited for so long, n now u not coming?!?!? later he reluctantly came down, n i showed him my attitude. den we kinda argued, n went our separate ways home. den he bombed mi with my complaints. i was... nvm... after sending 10 anger sms, i really surprised tat he can actually send 1 last msg abt making up once again. it's jus too fast!! he was so pissed n angry. i cna even sense him shouting n screaming his head off while he's msg'ing but he sent a peace msg so fast?

well, i'm disappointed by his motive.

wah liao.. quite a lot of update siazz.. maybe i cut long story short...

den knwo tat he's my frn's frn. den wah liao, they keep teasing us...

n during the bowling, oso got a couple of guys who oso look quite good.. but they din come up to chat at all...

after tat, went for lunch/dinner... n i and this guy sat together n toked... heh.. quite ok lah.. both can click quite well.. he paid for everything... haha.. den almost like, i oni chatted wif him.. others din tok much.. wif my roommate, he oso dun tok muhc wif mi...

strange thing: when we reversed, i signalled him.. den he like bochap...

from there, kill time... kauzz... i summarise better... after everything, we went home.. but strangely roommate din tok to us at all... ask him why, he say nothing to tok, n wanna us haev our 2 world.

from then on, i started to cling onto him haha...

last night, went family as usual to take my dinner... but din tok at all. ate and left. sianzz.. why they all so unsupportive of my decisions?? until the extent they spread the word around.

originally, has been happily preparing to go overseas for my studies. been doing researching n fishing info.. but now, family suddenly give mi a cold response... been doing all those research cos by doing these, i was hoping tat family will see my attitude towards it n support mi...

not tat i jus thot of going overseas without much thinking, but i seriously plan to go over. but they simply gave mi a cold shoulder. it's real disappointing.

yes, they are my family, but is this united? i wonder how tight is the family bond.

right now... i've kinda gotten wat happened with family.. but i thik i still bear a grudge...

updating wat happened in the past again...

wah, i wonder how long i gonna take to update everything...

so tat was a sunday... after dancing, i went home directly. my frn supposed to come home wif mi to rest at my place, but his frn, say he going home wif him, so in end, i went home alone. next day still muz go bowling.

umm.. think i'll continue this page...

next morning, was thinking of having enuff time to prep for bowling, but end up i oso rushing for time...

finally set a time n went over.. * i think will end up writing on a new page...*

frn's frn supposed to go.. saying it's a match make session.. but in end, he dun wan go at all. so, my frn invited another person along.. wah liao.. so many frn here/there.. even i getting confused on how to differentiate them liao... tat frn supposed to join us b4 we go. but he too late, so we went over first...

we oso started playing... 4 ppl per group.. got abt 8 ppl there... roommate n bf oso there.. den jus as we started playing, i noticed got someone always looking at me when i return from bowling... n he was oso smiling graciously at mi.. first few times, got the pins properly.. den later the bowls all clear the drain... at all these times, he always smile..

den suddenly he's gone!! i den kindly found it strange tat he standing there ot watch us.. either he so keen on us, tat he keep staring at a group of guys playing, or he is my frn's frn... haha.. sure enuff, he's my frn's frn.

next pg..

i think this whole things jus kinda emphasized to me, i need to depend on myself. sometimes, not even family are supportive. Period. Even though I'll be alone. Lords knows when will this go away.

another disappointing story...

was pretty keen on going overseas to study... but family is not supportive at all... even spread the word around. kauzzz... dun really understand what is FAMILY FOR.

suddenly felt kinda depressed.. back from chiong...

was at a pub, frns toking there... i cant join in.. den, saw froma neighbouring table, there's a cute guy... i kept looking at him.. he saw it too... i had wanted to observe him more, before I make my move.. i even thot of msg'ing roommate to leave us aloone...

but later he went into the pub... and some caucasians went up to him. and he never came out. I wondered what happened to him... i felt so lovesick... and as though my beloeved has been snatched away...

den on my way back.. heard some hussle... some argument, my frn den prepared his weapon.. we advanced... saw the argument was coming from opposite road. we din cross over, but stayed on our side... then i looked and loked.. not stared.. observed tat, a big sized guy was speaking to the ground, and someone was talking back...

realised, a guy was kinda pinned down, the big size guy stepping on him, 1 guy watching it, 2 gers standing far, watching... den the 2 gers shouted to my side "see what see!!" den heard some exclamation tat "later they call cops here" i think i know what's goingon ... but pityt eh pinned guy.. but kinda sound like SM hehe...

on teh bus back, saw another couple bickering...

den, i wanted tot ake supper, but woke up too late to alight... so walked back and tok supper... but supper was not properly cooked.. damn...

but at this instant of the boredom, i saw the pole... n haha.. had soem ideas of how i gonna dance.. :D

den jus as i thot of how i shld dance around it, ppl went up there and danced... but they din do much... jus touch n move... hehe.. i was waiting for them to finish..

finally i got my chance, n i mustered my courage!!! i went up.. my frns were surprised!! hahq... moved up n down the pole, hug it, swang around it, hehe.. "entering" it (wanna say F but so crude!!!) imitating pole dancing movements.. but of cos.. sometimes keep bumping onto ppl beside mi cos i swinging.. even got 1 time, i saw tat i bumping ppl, but i din care cos i 2 engrossed... he paused there.. i guess staring at mi..

den later, i luckily opened my eyes, n saw an arm holding the pole, i went under it.. phew,.. if not, i think will hit the arm n get injured.. damn!! come to think of it, maybe i was protected.. :)

after dancing.. i went down again.. n we went off.. haha.. my frns teased mi about it, n suggested how i can imrpove it.. hehe... cool!!

update another day :)

but still chattd a bit... a frn even dun wanna go up, thinking he rpetty LADY.

later we went for meal, n tok soem more, n haha.. he actually look like wang xi.

den we parted, n we went to find other frns... wah they go arcade centres siazz.. i den stayed outside.. so boring.. den called other frn to tok.. told him wat really happened tat day... later, we joined others n off we went to chiong area... quite fun siazz haha...

cos too early, they dun wan go in yet.. but still went in to kill time... inside there they sw more frns n chartted, but i stay at a corner near them... waved to soeone they intro to mi.. din thik much of them... den went over to another frn's place.. but this frn hor, i dun have gd impression of him... so i stayed downstair. they went up. and came down 15 mins later.. pretty fast siazz...

hehe.. they say the ppl not frnly at all, sarcastic n mean... ehhe.. i told them they can ask mi up to talk back mah...

later went to ynot... wah, so few ppl siaz!! but i still danced a bit hehe.. hehe.. i forgot whether my dance was ok anot, but i jus danced wateever i wan loh :)

den they got sick of the place and went away... went to other place.. wah liao... here is totally different!! so crowded!! so crowded tat i jus stood there nothing to do.. cos the ppl there are gymers... but was so sianzz.. no 1 dared to move.. 1 guy even keep asking how to style his hair siazz... liaozz.. sianzz..

den they wanna mi bring them inside. ok.. in we went... joined the crowd n danced.. the music was still ok... later, the music jus came to a rhythmic tune sianzz.i jus moved. din dance.

i was thinking shld i return inthe midd of the night, or wait till morning.. i heard from frn tat roommate will bring... hey hey hey!!! i rmb sat stuff liao!!

my roommate told mi.. or rather.. aiya, they going to sentosa in noon, and asking mi along.. ehhe. first time to ask mi along.. after our arguemnt... but 2 bad i got something on.. so i went off for my own stuff...

frn told mi tat roommate will bring a frn over... haha.. i had wanna go back n check on tat... hehe.. but duh.. nvm... but i wanan rush homef or family bfast...

den i returned home early in the morning... i thot the bus start 530am. den when check gthe busstop.. liaozz.. it start at 6.46am!! den i took the train instead.. wahm, at the busstop, got those sec sch geenazz... now i know what they do in the wkend...

i went to mrt, n saw the trains tart abt 6.34am. sianzz... but still wait loh.. in the mrt station, got a gang of teens arguing abt some passing remarks.. but in end, sovled amicably. they quite.. dressed properly loh.. not those chiong styles...

den took train home.. the trip was full of old ppl... sianzz.. den got hoem rpetty early.. roommate still sleeping... surprising lei.. den i asked him n den realised wat happened...

anyuway, i got home to take my family bfast... n he wanna mi buy his share. i bought loh den wah din expect to get home pretty late.. den he rushing off... din really say much to mi... sighzzz... is it so hard for him to appreciative of efforts?

den a frn called mi, saying he comig over to send resume.. he came over, den used my PC... i was so tired.. den he wan mi to go wfi him to meet a gym guy,... hehe...

tat gym guy is also those slowly heat up type.. he din tok lotsa...

next page

then... saturday, hehe.. some fun stuff lah at nite.. but cant really rmb wat i did on morning

in the after noon... i arranged to meet the party organiser at abt late noon.. but cos he was damn tired, we met later.. ehhe.. i changed into my executive wear n went off.. haha.. but in the hot sun, it feel so hot!!! so sticky... chatted wif him.. n he was kinda happy lah... n discussed abt wat we do bla bla

den i thot another frn will join us, but instead he'll join muhc later.. so i kinda skipped lunch... n took sandwich for dinner.. den soon, the frn came.. wah.. he is REAL tall.. standing at 1.8+!!! my gosh!!!! he stil say wnana b slave???

well, i turned shy n quiet suddenly... just stayed on my seat to read my papers.

den as time passed, more ppl came.. abt 10 came, den i was thinking "wah, 17 ppl supposed to come, but by now 10 ppl already so many ppl liao... wha... if 17, wont it b over crowded???"

den the thing started... ppl got into their positions... i was pretty dormant n almost dun feel like joining.. merely enjoyed the scene ehhe...

den after 1 hr i guess... there was a guy standing up, "cuffed" up n stripped. quite nice.. but face is pretty avg... den he was led to a sofa, sat down there.. his chest is pretty well-defined. he oredi got a hard-on den his body was plyaed by 3 masters... pretty cool..

his hands were cuffed behind him, making him defenceless LOL... den he sat on teh sofa, letting 3 masters have their way wif him... caressing the chest, sucking of nipps.. wow, pretty fantsstic... but i dun really have the intention to walk over n play wif him.. perhaps cos too many ppl liao. too muhc saliva. his body was played around a lot... the ffront of his body.

but kauzz.. got 1 main master, n 2 sub master (LOL).. the 2 subs, are like jus there to take advantage of the situation like dat... when got ppl tied up, they move over to share the fun...

den the sofa guy kinda can't take it anymore.. n kept falling to the side... as he was masturbated, he was groaning out... wow, den suddenly i was blocked. damn it. had wanna ask him to move away, ut i dun wan sound keen.. so.. too bad missed the shootout scene... when i saw again, they had already stopped... his pte kinda fullo of the cum already.. then they went toilet to clean up...

OH.. how i wish i can have such things oso hehe...

den the organiser keopt persuading mi to join in... i finally gave in... i thot it will be fun like the previous tries.. but this time i kinda regret.... really...

during the first few mins, i did nejoy, but later on, i seriously dun think i'm into these...

spent the night there... cos had to stay there...

fri... dun really rmb wat happened... most likely, i went to office ktv, sang a couple of songs... i sound so substandard nowadays siazz.. cos wait too long to get my song, den no time to practise? maybe...

oh ya.. there, i thot i will be leaving soon... so when i got a glass of beer, i gulped it down.. but later i stayed a while more.. haha.. until i feel drowsy.. n still trying to sing.. damn.. too long nvr sing, n dunno wat songs to sing.. damn...

sms'ed roommate n close frn. roommate ask y i drunk.. haha... den i went home, n cos nothing to eat, so i kinda drunk, got home, took my dinner, n told my mum tat once again, i'm KEEN to go overseas o study. once again, she became a wet blanket (haah.. long time no say such lines, even asked my yandao colleague how to say it)

always say things like be careful bla bla, but i told her i was keen.. so i'll check on the details n get back to them the results... eheh.. really pretty keen to go.. i guess.. for my university study, oso sme thing.. i did some research n went in.. haha.. 1 wk time oni :)

my sis, still ignoring mi... cos had.. soem kinda bitter argument some time bacjk..

e frn who joined in... met mi some time back in mrt, when i was on way to a party. den he started... i was not in the mood to tok then, but when he came, he started the topic n tok abt the party stuff.. den slowly i got into the mood, and shared wat happened then...

then while chatting, 1 of them invited us to a bowling session. to be on a holiday oso.. i decilined first, but later, thot i may jus join in tat day, n tell them i'll confirm later.

den later, we proceeded home... ppl went their separate ways.. n i dinr eally bother to turn around to bid bye... prtty cold hahha... anyway, i was there to relax n get a life..

den while on the train, tok abt the party wif 2 guys who went in my direction... thursday.. think tat's all... den comes fri... ya fri..

chey!!! after writing just now tat msg, posted it, den reloaded the page.. saw tat the blog is there.. how come din refresh siazz

wah liao!!! i din upadte more than 1 week???????????

i kinda remember i did update a bit lei... siaozz

last update is nov 10... last wk,,,

hah,.. got lotsa things to say...

wednesday is eve of deepavali.. frns called mi to go for cash flow game on thurs. well, nothing planned, so i went ahead... but ahah.. i went to irc ( i think so) to find ppl for fun... aiya... dun think so.. maybe i wrote wrongly..

on thurs, i woke up to join frns for outing loh.. for a game.. wah.. i kisiao.. woke at 11, met them at 11+... den arrived at 12+. dne hor, maybe i din take bfast, i ordered oyster sauce chicken mee... big bowl.. $3. den i pased by mixed food stall. haha.. i then ordered 3 dishes.. 4.30$ liaozz.. so ex.. den shared with my frn... hha.. he oso odered big bowl... so had a fulfilling meal... but i still managed to finish all...

at the game there, liao, got 1 guy attitude so bad. i supposed to pay him game cash. i ready wif my money, den he was busy. when he ok liao, he said "where your money??" kauzz!! so demanding?? can he relax a bit???

den after tat, i went for badminton game to join a group of.. ppl

wah the courts was 3, but the turnout was pretty bad.. 3 courts can have 12 ppl play, but oni 8-9 ppl there oni... not tat exciting game.. but still nejoyed a bit..

2 guys.. i believe they are china guys.. both look quite ok.. 1 guy kinda caught my eyes hehe.. he's kinda.. plump lah..but his attitude n skills n keenness on the game took mi away haha.. correct use? wanna know him better.. but no chance.. he din tok to mi.. but played wif mi lah.. or can say i kinda.. tired by the day's game den dun have the energy to tok muhc.. quite pretty quiet for the whole day...

later went for dinner... talked a bit, but still pretty quiet... or even not in the mood to tok... later couple more frns joined..

update again...

http://www.shockwave.com/rd/cr.cgi?k=209160717&c=1058&w=1&d=5476

abt 5 mins time, there's a nice body.. hahah.. not bad :)

another boring day at work...

last night, suppose to meet someone to buy vids.. but last min i backed out... cos really scared tat person is from police. dunno y in the past, i so daring to sell.

so, we finally decided tat, when he comes back to signapore. we'll go his house to look for exchange possibilities.

this time, roommmate came back prtty much on time. wah, and he dressed in long sleeve shirt siazz.. n i guess he back from interview or soemthing.. din tok at all wif him.. the room was pretty quiet all the while.

in the morning, i woke up n saw him folding limbs in cold.. so i used the blanket to cover him up. he den woke up, n held my hand... i oni naturally let go of his hands...

blabbering...

job... study... job: shld i get another job? study: will i be able to go overseas?

i jus recv a offer letter from curtin.. the fees is much cheaper... monash is more prestigious.. so.. which shld i choose?

and, last night, rommate back from soccer... tried to tok to mi.. but i gave a bochap attitude.. dunno y.. really dun have the "chat wif him" feel liao... not regarding $ for sure.. more to... no common topic? n perhaps no wish to tok with him liao...

over this period, i seem to have the feeling, he more into ppl who tend to let ppl make decision.. so tat he can show off his thinking n MCP?

back-dating to last fri (5/11/04), frogot where i was returning home from... went to kopi shop there to have supper.

the place was quite crowded. 2 nearby tables were empty... i went up, hoping to get the cleaner 1, but 1 guy got there first, n bokoed it.. so i put my bag on the other table. my table got 3 seats... den i went to order my food.

den when i got back to my seat, kauzz.. a group of teens occupied that clean table, and snatched my seats away!! they are even sitting at my table!! as though they booked it.

2 guys were sitting at my table. of cos i was unhappy. so i moved the seat so that it made a big bang. i sat down, and looked into the direction of the guys who were sitting at my table. 1 was kinda helpless.. duno wat to do, nervous, n paiseh.. i look at his face a few times.. not yandao type, but got the secondary sch boy look..

den, the drink guy came to take orders. after asking them, luckily she ask mi oso... if not dun think i gonna order. i ordered mine, n 1 ger from the clean table looked at mi.. jus look oni lah..

den all the while i was looking into the direction of tat guy ahah...

when the drinks came, the yandao guy actuallt put his drink on my table. i stared at him. he was like purposely put there 1 siazz.. his frns hitn him not to put there, but he keep luffing off. in end, he did move the drinks elsewhere lah...

den, as i ate my supper.. i saw.. or maybe he purposely show.. his tattoo... cant make out wat it is... haha.. den i kinda .. really lah, i kinda scared abt "will they like in the movies inform their gang frns to come out n get back at offenders?"

truly i did have that thinking... i was even like thinking shld i wait for them to finish meal? cos if they finish and went off, dun think bad thigns will happen.

but soon after, i began to have erotic ideas instead LOL... imagine them coming up to me, den ask mi wat am i trying to do... n wanna gang bang mi LOL...

kisiao!!!

once again.. writing my thots in cyberspace... jus been back from finding mroe info regarding overseas studies... realise tat i need to select my subjs... sigh... duno wat to choose siazz..

sunday, got home... den family sms mi got bfast... nope, dun wan go... jus dun wisht o rush home... later got back home to sleep...

oh ya... my frn ask roommate where they going, roommate say their plan... den frn relayed msg to mi.. i was thnking: n saying... why u telling mi? if he wanna mi know, he'll tell mi... if he dun wan mi know... or dun tend to tell mi, why u tell mi instead?

got home, den slept all the way...

check tat i got the offer letter liao... but need to find the financial support first...

saturday... woke up.. n saw got missed calls.. oh ya, those friends who intro'ed mi to soem biz... kept buzzing mi... wat so sianzzz.. n kinda pissed... they are so persistent they became irrritating...

received a call from someone from irc.. asking mi to meet up.. alright.. off i went... den cos tok to those frns above (they actually came ot my room outta blue).. n was late. at 1pm, he called mi, asking where i am... den 1 25, he called again. i told him i got there lioa.. den he say he coming up.. well, at 145, he din call at all... i cant do anything... he say he cant recv sms, n cant cal him.. i went off.. sent him sms tat i going off...

all the way back from there (i purposely took a bus den switch a train)... n now taking bus home.. sianzz... got home... roomamte n my frn there.. jus sat there.. din do much,...

my roommate later got up liao, i oso bochap... he try to be touchy... but no diff to mi.. he jus a rommmate to mi liao... frn? try harder to rekindle the frnship... he "read" my mind by checking my blog.. if he shld see this, it'll test if he can really understand my mind/thinking.

den later, my frn ask if i wan go out to meet a frn.. umm.. i declined... cos i know rommamte n him sure go out.. nah, dun wan write 2 much...

later, my frn asked a frn out.. on my behalf.. haha.. din really wanna go, but he persistent... alright loh.. join him... but all along, i oni tok to frn, din talk much to roommate.. really nothing to say.. almost like.. sicne no common topic, why tok?

haha.. odd thing... 3 of us met their frn. den we going diff places, so parted. 3 of us took the bus... rommamte sat in between (i let him). i din stick to him, i sat wif a gap between us... realising this, roommate oso kept his arm away from mi... along the way, i totally din tok at all.. he try to tok.. i bochap... call mi cold,unfeeling, but i simply.. dun see the point in toking to him... IN PRESENCE OF FRNS. shall see how long things can last

got there lioa.. to meet frn's frn... i oso din tok to him... at all...

late rhe went to pick his bf.. den came back... but soon they left again..

haha.. den we... 3 of us... frn, frn's frn, mi... went to check out movies... wah, there, saw "their frn".. chatted a bit... n 3 of us went off to chat down stair... my frn call a new frn out.. after a whil,e left for clubbing area.. haha.. den, finally rommate came back again haha...

soon after, they went to clubbing once again...

after work, went to sing in the oficer mess.. wah liao, i alone there.. oni got my supervisor there.. all not into singing... jus there to look oni,...

hehe.. tat day got semi-final for singing competition. some sang avg.. oni 1 or 2 got stuff... n 1 of them, is a sturdy guy.. who wearing black T.. tight T.. den later when voting time comes, i went up to vote for him.. hehe.. i guess i kinda nervous... having a long face, n went up to vote for him.. hehe.. would b better if i praised him mah LOL.. cos while i voting for him, someone praised hima little...

den things are over... but he din win... cos popularity overrode his singing talent.

later, i oso started to sing.. sang "feng kuang shi jie" (crazy world), "guo huo" (over doing), "qing wang" (love web)... no1 i sing quite ok.. warm up n playful song... no2 more to proper singing... no3 a cghallenging song.. ahha.. took unwanted food, so voice go awry

den in the ending... oni a few left.. my sup say the place is quite relaxing.. no need to care whose table... can know ppl easily... hehe... there got a few yandao capts... haha.. maybe next time if see them there, i'll chat up with them hahah... *grinz*

but i lost my umbre there.. sianzz...

got home. and once again, my roommate not there.. ghehe.. jus as i expected :) well, i jus know i think logically n not easy to b deceived. u wan mi believe something, prove it. period

den later, i got home... ahha.. my roommate actually got our frn to speak up for him...

yup, he reads my blog... had a discussion of wat's exactly going on.. well, will believe his words with a pinch of salt. let's see wat gonna happen later...

den in morning.. dunno why, my alarm din go off...

gosh.. now i hungry...

oh ya.. thursday... a very uneventful day... but i wonder if i'll rmb this day.. although i surely can rmb this event...

in morning, i alighted at my busstop on my way to work. den there was a carcass lying on the roadside. i walked towards it, saw tat it's a dead dog lying there... i looked at its posture.

only its hind legs are still on the pavement, the rest of his body are on the road. Its body is not separated. get it?

it's lying on a pool of blood, with it's intestines outside.

I wept. Tears simply rolled down uncontrollably. Tried to control it, but failed. I simply got worse. I called the SPca, hoping for some actions from them. Cos the dog did no die naturally.

But they said they oni deal with animals in distress. If it's dead, there's nothing that can be done.

Excuse mi?? in such a state, how can its death still b natural?!

I kinda talked in a firm tone that something has to be done. They then passsed the call to some manager or leader. I was told to make a police report if anything has to be done.

It's really unfair.

I remained silent for the whole morning. Then finally decided to confide in a colleague. After the speaking, i got better...

Why must the dogs suffer in silence??

just now met up my frns to discuss abt marketing plans again... well, although i may their last hope to riches, I doubt i can make it... I've kinda used up my resources, but still, i lack sufficient fund... can't think of any other ways to get it...

i even rmb that, an acquaintance of mine even told me my love life will improve when I have a stable job.. and it'll b when i'm 25... which will be the coming year... in this case, i wonder if i'll be missing it...

anyway, the job propects now look bad... totally enjoying the free time there... I think i need to buck up on my job hunt... with the IT industry going down, I tink i need to invest in my other talents.. singing at pubs? Teaching Chinese? I even wonder if I shld still pursue my IT degree...

after hang up, roommate checked the schedule again, n "realised" it's showing today... kauzz... of cos, i oso went ot verify too... and i'm correct. so i called them again.. and they agree to watch the show loh...

KO on time sharp. liao.. again, they late... they sms mi, i tell them i there liao.. although i still abt 15 min away. in the end, i bought the tix liao for 3 seater, den they sms mi roommate bf is coming... liaozz.. suddenly tell mi like dat.. went to get extra tic loh.. 1 tic at the back..

took our dinner... din really tok much to roommate cos dun wan b pissed.. anyway, we nothign to tok abt liao.. duno why oso... cant think of anythign to tok to him.. maybe too little interaction, so nothing to say. guess... we living together... umm, sorta... den nothing much to say, he oso nothing to tell mi abt him.. so nothing to tok loh...

when movie end, they went home, i went backt o family to get financial support... they still not willignt o lend mi... although i had promised to do my best n return them the money... still wun support.. kinda argued with mym mum in fact...

returned home disappointed.

saw the msg tat roommate wrote... he explaine dhow he spent his days outside... n kept re-iterating that he dun have monye.. so i wrote back loh...

well, how can someone who can go out all so often actually dun have money? watever is done outside requires money. is there anything that don't? he say he play mahjong... oh.. play 16 hours huh? all day long huh?

i am unahppy cos.. i really dun feel his frnship towards mi at all liao... i've already given him hints, like "if u go out to something tat i can join u surely will tell mi 1.." he heard.. but dunno if understand anot...

so this morning, he came back abt... before 7...am... cos he using Pc, i sat down alone.. killing time.. he den came orward n asked if i ok.. i din bother... jus dun feel like toking to him anymore... if he really cared, he'll ask again.. he din.. so, since it's only casual asking, wat's the pt?

fake.

den jus now, he wrote mi msg, "watever i say, u jus dun blif i have no money.. alright will raise money to pay u back"...

i feel nthing.. alright, i did feel hsi anger... but so? wat ground has he got not to share the load?

den hor, on monday, i called my frn to go watch movie. had asked him to go.. he on.. den he suggested asking my roommate... well, my roommate dunno wat he doing, so up to my frn to call or not loh.. we decided on a movie.

den my roomamte sms mi tat the show is not on... den i was thinking.. huh?? u dun wanna watch den dun watch loh... i called my frn to ask if he still wnana watch... he told mi the roomamte saw tat the movie not on... n we talked abt this for a while.. den i almost wanna say "u trust mi or him?".. cos i dun wan another "roomamte dun wanna watch.. den watch others loh"... but i held my piss, and said i call back later, giving excuse i bz...

later i called.. wat's more, after hang up, ... (contd later)

but i still keen on teh biz... so right now, thinking of how i can contribute. got ppl offer to invest.. but shld i accept his generous offer?

den today, i suppose to meet irc guy.... but he 3 hrs in advance say he can't make it... ok loh.. but the reason he give quite odd.. need to feed his fish... but really lah, at tat time raninig at his place.. so perhaps it's really true.

so the meeting tonite is off... went home to take my dinner...

den, SUDDENLY, another guy called to say tat he cant make it for tmr's movie... liaozz... right from start, i been initiating everything... den now he say he can't make it.. n ask to b on wkend... so i told him directly, if he keen on meeting up, we'll someday. if not, no pt in dragging. he explain himself, i oni repeat my line.

he den ask if i pissed, nope. why pissed? jsu disappointed. if he keen on meeting n going movie, i fine.

so i tmr call another frn to go movie loh...

hehe.. den met up those frns who intro'ed mi this biz... they told mi to try another way.. umm.. well, pretty good hehe... got more ppl willing to help...

oh ya... oso met some ppl from fridae... err, 1 guy lah.. he resemble jean claude van damme haha... pretty fine looking... look better than pic...

den got home n testing my sis reaction.. umm... she got -ve response... ya lah, she worry for mi.. now i caught between... shld i get the money, or wat? i do know the opportunity available... but her worries are not unfoundded loh.. not many ppl can afford 15k...