wah, after so long never blog liao, now it's timet o update my current condition. some bitching to do. some comemnts to reply. some updates to write. after updating, i wun know wat will happen to it. disppwar into thin air? or stay on, cos it's part of my life nowadays. dunno, cos my feels have not settled down yet
==========================
bitching:
- seem tat this anony guy, really made it a pt to b anony. neither virgil nor W know u.
- well, if a frn visits a page, does he need to inform everyone? not many of ur kakis are concerned to find out abt mi, thus they dun bother to check out this site.
- exams need full focus to do well. if u hear some bad news, n for 1 wk, u dun hear anythign from ur loved (pun intended) ones who are the afected ppl, r u able to forget abt it, n focus on ur books? if u can, congrats. i've not reached tat cold state yet. i'm still a very feeling person.
- whether or not, W needs a guy like him, is not for u to comment or criticise. u can let him know ur view n wat u'll do, but why are u encouraging?
- willieam, thx for ur support all the way... n ur effort to blog, when u usually email..
- sonya, well, bitches are labelled as one. they dun call themselves to b so, or know they are, unless ppl call them. :)
- since when did my frn sonya speak up for mi?
- knwoing u wun affect anythign, but at least i'll know this person has the courage to own up to wat he wrote. if not, it's another wilful comment posted in the cyber world. if u are matured enuff to post comemnts whcih u think are so god damn righteous, why is there a need to hide urself?
- if u think a relation is destructive, by all means, break from it. but if ur frne tink it's destructive, but u feel otherwise? wat ppl need usually, are support from frns, not suggestions.
- carameal, gosh, thanks for dropping by. guess u've never seen my site in such comment-ful state. but.. well, although we aren't together anymore, i dun prefer to use such direct words still...
- well, i guess i had to let it go somehow
- leave us alone? thanks for suggesting it. i hope this line has been in ur mind all along, rather than just this period.
==============================
in order to update my reg visitors all at 1 go, i guess it's best to write in blog. used to it anyway.
met up wif W. (still pretty keen to write "my boi"). had a headache in morning, but still insisted on meeting him. i wore all those things tat he bought for mi, hoping will leave an impression on him. took our diner, n chatted halfway when we felt it's better to go public space, where we will not b able to create scenes.
there, had a long chat. i had wanna start all over again, cos i, over the lonely week, know wat went wrong, n how i shld deal wif it. during the 1 wk, i felt another person. i felt my heart is overwhelming mi, making mi feel my heart. i start to know why W is behaving in all these manners. too bad these happened oni after the fatful day.
i had tried to assure him, tat i'll take care of his emotions. however he rejected, as he does not want history to repeat. saying tat's it's not possible to change within such shrot time. n the more we change, e more we become diff. he felt we've come to an end, n shld lead our lives separately once again.
i tried my best to get him back, but he was adamant on discontinuing it. he told mi to take care of ymself. i can't promise him tat. he dun wan mi make him weep, cos he may go weak n agree to start over. but he know he shld not.
i started to relate, how i got my gifts for him, n how much these mean to him. but he was insistent on leaving. he had wanna call mi by my pet name gain. i refused, cos it'll oni make mi feel terrible.
lastly, we parted. he said that, after parting we can still b frns. i doubt so. cos if i see him, i'll need to control myself from hugging him. if we go wif his frns, who can tag along? he left, n i wait for my bus. on way home, i msg him sweet nothings, hoping he'll come back. well, he was jus very keen to break off from mi, laweving no chance for reconcilation.
i had assured him, now tat i kno how to tok wif his heart, i am in better position to deal wif thing. but he said it's too late. if i keep pushing him, he will oni have to make a painful decision.
n his decision was, "it's happier for him to leave this reln than to continue"
well, i accept it. if it's his decision. but this time around, i'm finally able to understand why, ppl could be numbed by affairs of the heart to want to start off another reln. it's just too tiring and painful.
if he's not so direct, i would like set myself to win him back by our next mth anni, but he's chosen the path.
================================
tat's all folks.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
Sunday, August 21, 2005
i finally understand n realise, if a frn is sad, why we muz not mention the names of those ppl involved. after bfast wif family, i went back home. if someone mention abt my boi at this time, i blif i'll go silent. to think, when my dog left us, i can still tok n chat wif ppl abt how come it died. but tis time, at the mention of my boi's name, i blif i may jus weep.
perhaps my pessimistic self has come back once again. if somethign is to happen to us, i really have no idea wat gonna happen to mi. work, i'll still do. but my life, will b in a total mess.
I HEREBY VOW THAT I'LL MAKE MY BOI FEEL LOVED N PROTECTED ONCE AGAIN!
how come so qiao. i strugglign to finish my java prac. once a while, i'll watch TV. so qiao, certain scenes appear make mi think abt mi, n my boi. those lovey dovey scenes, n those tiff scenes. i really feel like crying (n yes, i wept). not being able to b wif him when he needs mi most, making him so angry tat he dun sms mi anymore.
i jus came home after dinner. on way home, i can imagine the pain my boi is going thru now. it makes mi so sad. my eyes are all watery. i even had to look at the sky to ctrl myself. my boi....
---------------------
as i jus got home, i realise my room has been broken into again. too much evidence for mi to discover, jus 2 much. if he read my blog, he shld know wat to do.
perhaps after my exams, i'll move out aagain. cos there's no way to prevent him from trespassing into my room.
perhaps my pessimistic self has come back once again. if somethign is to happen to us, i really have no idea wat gonna happen to mi. work, i'll still do. but my life, will b in a total mess.
I HEREBY VOW THAT I'LL MAKE MY BOI FEEL LOVED N PROTECTED ONCE AGAIN!
how come so qiao. i strugglign to finish my java prac. once a while, i'll watch TV. so qiao, certain scenes appear make mi think abt mi, n my boi. those lovey dovey scenes, n those tiff scenes. i really feel like crying (n yes, i wept). not being able to b wif him when he needs mi most, making him so angry tat he dun sms mi anymore.
i jus came home after dinner. on way home, i can imagine the pain my boi is going thru now. it makes mi so sad. my eyes are all watery. i even had to look at the sky to ctrl myself. my boi....
---------------------
as i jus got home, i realise my room has been broken into again. too much evidence for mi to discover, jus 2 much. if he read my blog, he shld know wat to do.
perhaps after my exams, i'll move out aagain. cos there's no way to prevent him from trespassing into my room.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
w/o my boi by my side, i begin to get flustered. still rmb, 1 time, i sms him something. he duno wat i meant, so he called his frns in midst of night, asking their opinions. now it seem to be happening to mi. his sms to mi were suddenly so cool n calm. now i wonder if i shld also ask my close frns for advice...
during our 3 mths, sometimes he feel tat he's a bad bf, cos it seem like, watever i tell him, it does make sense. he feel bad he din think of the conseq tat i told him. but come to think of it, y shld i impose such reasoning onto him? i din manage to catch this emotional side of him, but merely kept asking him to think of wat'd happen shld he do tat. y din i jus tell him nt to do it?
i jus hope tat, 25th of aug, will b a romantic day for us both.
---------------------------
jus got home, from "my classes". damn it. really stuck here. both asgt, do haflway. 1 asgt, the tr inform via tmc tat he'll go into the asgt briefing at the class, after lesson, today. i really dunno if i shld attend it, learn more how to do asgt, or simply carry on wif prep for java. in end, i thot i need to go back office to get some files, so might as well go ahead.
everythign seem perfect. when i got to class, the tr oredi 3/4 thru asgt briefing. ok, i got to classes oni 30 min b4 it end. i was stunned tat during the class, he go into briefing liao, instead of starting it after proper lesson finish. den later, he started to guide those who stayed back to learn more. i oso duno how/wat to ask. seem like it's a waste of time for mi. cos i really thot, i can get some obvious hints on asgt, den no need spend so much time. but end up, he oni emphasize on how to find the ans. i really blur liao. 22nd is asgt due date. 29 is cutoff date. duno, siao liaoz.
25 is my exam, now when i resume my prac, it dun seem to work tat fine. n i forgot, really forgot wat i did in the previous exercises. i assume the earlier ex were pretyt important as they set the foundation for mi. now i oni got 2 choices, to restart on the whole prac, or try to resume where i left. but may lose my foundation.
i really duno.
during our 3 mths, sometimes he feel tat he's a bad bf, cos it seem like, watever i tell him, it does make sense. he feel bad he din think of the conseq tat i told him. but come to think of it, y shld i impose such reasoning onto him? i din manage to catch this emotional side of him, but merely kept asking him to think of wat'd happen shld he do tat. y din i jus tell him nt to do it?
i jus hope tat, 25th of aug, will b a romantic day for us both.
---------------------------
jus got home, from "my classes". damn it. really stuck here. both asgt, do haflway. 1 asgt, the tr inform via tmc tat he'll go into the asgt briefing at the class, after lesson, today. i really dunno if i shld attend it, learn more how to do asgt, or simply carry on wif prep for java. in end, i thot i need to go back office to get some files, so might as well go ahead.
everythign seem perfect. when i got to class, the tr oredi 3/4 thru asgt briefing. ok, i got to classes oni 30 min b4 it end. i was stunned tat during the class, he go into briefing liao, instead of starting it after proper lesson finish. den later, he started to guide those who stayed back to learn more. i oso duno how/wat to ask. seem like it's a waste of time for mi. cos i really thot, i can get some obvious hints on asgt, den no need spend so much time. but end up, he oni emphasize on how to find the ans. i really blur liao. 22nd is asgt due date. 29 is cutoff date. duno, siao liaoz.
25 is my exam, now when i resume my prac, it dun seem to work tat fine. n i forgot, really forgot wat i did in the previous exercises. i assume the earlier ex were pretyt important as they set the foundation for mi. now i oni got 2 choices, to restart on the whole prac, or try to resume where i left. but may lose my foundation.
i really duno.
Friday, August 19, 2005
these days, been fighting for my ... life? i really owe a lot to my boi... after work, got an sms from my boi. suddenly, i seem to contract flu. been thinking quite a lot. suddenly, my strong front is about to fall. come to think of it, whenever my boi did something for mi, i'll reply wif a std line.
yrs ago, back to '02, when i walk up escalator, n saw my ex, i will smile graciously at him, making him paiseh. whenever he praise mi, i'll b happy oso.
Over the years, till now, why have i changed? y am i so cold in my replies? somehow, i feel tat, being in the corporate world, where i'm not used to yet (still), n after watching so much TV, i am beginning to hide my true self. i dun wan ppl to know my true self. even in my mind, i have this thot: even if i afraid, i shldn't show it. i have to conceal this weakness of mine, so i wun b defeated. In other words, taken advantage of.
even for my gal frn, she once commented, i'm not myself. cos til now, oni she, prince, n my boi can make mi really be myself. joking n teasing n flirting n b crazy at times. when she was wif mi (walking around somewhere), i commented she made mi kisiao. tat was when she say i am oni controlling myself.
these days, when i not wif my boi, i feel my world is kinda collapsing. i miss him a lot. yes, i am often reasoning. cos to mi, if i really get emotional, i can't control it so much. my boi can ctrl it better than mi. rmb, 1 time, i eating ajisen wif him. tat time i was emotionally disturbed. i din tok much. cos i really dunno when i'll b ok, or how to manage it.
humans, are, still emotional animals. i cant deny it. i guess i will have to release my emotional self after all.
anyway, i dunno wat happened. my right jaw hurts a lot. i realise it not the jaw itself, but it my ear drum. i cant open my mouth wide to eat. gosh... why are so many things happening at such shrot time??? to mi, my boi, and us noth?
====================================
To: My BOI
Take good care of urself. I look forward to a better future for us. With no-more serious arguments. We will love each other deeper and stronger than before.
Love,
Your Dar.
yrs ago, back to '02, when i walk up escalator, n saw my ex, i will smile graciously at him, making him paiseh. whenever he praise mi, i'll b happy oso.
Over the years, till now, why have i changed? y am i so cold in my replies? somehow, i feel tat, being in the corporate world, where i'm not used to yet (still), n after watching so much TV, i am beginning to hide my true self. i dun wan ppl to know my true self. even in my mind, i have this thot: even if i afraid, i shldn't show it. i have to conceal this weakness of mine, so i wun b defeated. In other words, taken advantage of.
even for my gal frn, she once commented, i'm not myself. cos til now, oni she, prince, n my boi can make mi really be myself. joking n teasing n flirting n b crazy at times. when she was wif mi (walking around somewhere), i commented she made mi kisiao. tat was when she say i am oni controlling myself.
these days, when i not wif my boi, i feel my world is kinda collapsing. i miss him a lot. yes, i am often reasoning. cos to mi, if i really get emotional, i can't control it so much. my boi can ctrl it better than mi. rmb, 1 time, i eating ajisen wif him. tat time i was emotionally disturbed. i din tok much. cos i really dunno when i'll b ok, or how to manage it.
humans, are, still emotional animals. i cant deny it. i guess i will have to release my emotional self after all.
anyway, i dunno wat happened. my right jaw hurts a lot. i realise it not the jaw itself, but it my ear drum. i cant open my mouth wide to eat. gosh... why are so many things happening at such shrot time??? to mi, my boi, and us noth?
====================================
To: My BOI
Take good care of urself. I look forward to a better future for us. With no-more serious arguments. We will love each other deeper and stronger than before.
Love,
Your Dar.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
got abdominal pain. cant take it, go c doc. dialled a no. it's my boi's. cant ctrl myself. i wept over the phone. i miss my boi so much. i miss his hug so much. i miss our wood pecking scene. at home, rmb 2 songs which describe my self-realisation.
visit the song if cant read the chn words. not sure if my blog can have chn word.
By sky wu, ai yu chou:
(line 3) ????????????????
by shunza, I'm Sorry (???):
(line 1) ?????????? ???? ??????
(line 2) ?????????? ??? ????
by shunza, I'm Sorry (???):
I always think that I know everything
But you insist I know nothing
I always fight to have very last word
But your thoughts were never heard
I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
Don't tell me it's through
I wish I could take back some things I said
I wish I could make things better
I wish I could take back some things I did
Everyday I'm feeling sadder
I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
It's my turn now to cry
Never fear I'll be here
Say a prayer
We can take on the hands of time
And I, I know we can make it
If we just stay together
And trust each other on this one
I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
Don't tell me it's through, don't tell me it's through
Said I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I've never meant to, never meant to hurt you
I'll borrow, I will borrow your sorrow
It's my turn now to cry
visit the song if cant read the chn words. not sure if my blog can have chn word.
By sky wu, ai yu chou:
(line 3) ????????????????
by shunza, I'm Sorry (???):
(line 1) ?????????? ???? ??????
(line 2) ?????????? ??? ????
by shunza, I'm Sorry (???):
I always think that I know everything
I always fight to have very last word
But your thoughts were never heard
I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
Don't tell me it's through
I wish I could take back some things I said
I wish I could make things better
I wish I could take back some things I did
Everyday I'm feeling sadder
I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
It's my turn now to cry
Never fear I'll be here
Say a prayer
We can take on the hands of time
And I, I know we can make it
If we just stay together
And trust each other on this one
I'm sorry, so sorry
Didn't mean to hurt you
I'll borrow your sorrow
Don't tell me it's through, don't tell me it's through
Said I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I've never meant to, never meant to hurt you
I'll borrow, I will borrow your sorrow
It's my turn now to cry
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
din really.... din really wanna blog. cos i'm still VERY VERY stressed by exam. i jus hope *i dunno wat's come over mi suddenly................. was hearing junyang sing Tong Hua, suddenly thot of wat happened betwn mi n my boi, i was trying real hard, but i suddenly started to weep* ok, i jus hope tat, my boi n i can sustain our pain till 25th, the day we celebrate our 3rd mth anni.
was looking at my 2nd asgt, i had jus fnisnihed my first asgt, lack the docu. will work on it during office hours. den abt my 2nd asgt, i know nothing abt wat it trying to ask. look at newgroups, look at qn, look at my notes. kauzz, how am i gonna cope wif my java exam, n this asgt??? damn.
was looking at my 2nd asgt, i had jus fnisnihed my first asgt, lack the docu. will work on it during office hours. den abt my 2nd asgt, i know nothing abt wat it trying to ask. look at newgroups, look at qn, look at my notes. kauzz, how am i gonna cope wif my java exam, n this asgt??? damn.
Monday, August 15, 2005
totally depressing day. had expected a better 1, but, oh well.. "some ppl" say i'm too logical and lack the emotional side. *somehow i dun wan write 2 much, cos no pt in toking so much crap here... but jus cant stop myself*
i can oni say, it does not take jus 4 mths to understand a person. yes i may be full of reasons. tat is 'cos, logic rules the world. passion get you going. u know tat i cant control my emotions at times. tat's when my emotions set in, and i cant control it. reasoning comes in when i am able to think properly.
when i can't, it means my mind is really taking a rest n dun wan b disturbed. i dun dare say i know u well enuff, but still trying to understand u better. going by reasoning, n thinking, i will not think of buying u some food u always love, when u've just finished a meal. however, even during cold days, i oso conflict myself by eating ice-cream, but find it too cold to drink cold water.
'cos i simply like the ice-cream n jus wanna take it. u dun need to rmb exactly how i'll react in some cases, or wat 'll i say. cos ppl change n grow up. jus b urself, n b natural. if u keep pressuring urself, n do things u DUN enjoy, wat happiness will u get from it?
yes, i did give up parties for u. tat's a natural sacrifice. cos i need to respect u. but till now, i still observe. or, as you always claim, i look at guys. if u wonder, how come i'm SO BUSY these days n timing so cock up. imagine urself in my shoes. my blog has written it. for timing cock up, when part 1 of my strezz is relieved, i really have no wish to plan once again. u may be thinking, my exam over. surely wanna relax n wanna mit up.
yes i do. but think of the impending asgtmt i have on hand, and the exam left for mi. i have lil confidence i can do it, cos.. tat's mi. i wanna relax, but i cant. i have oni so much time remaining.
on the emotional side, no word can repair it. oni care n concern can heal it.
i can oni say, it does not take jus 4 mths to understand a person. yes i may be full of reasons. tat is 'cos, logic rules the world. passion get you going. u know tat i cant control my emotions at times. tat's when my emotions set in, and i cant control it. reasoning comes in when i am able to think properly.
when i can't, it means my mind is really taking a rest n dun wan b disturbed. i dun dare say i know u well enuff, but still trying to understand u better. going by reasoning, n thinking, i will not think of buying u some food u always love, when u've just finished a meal. however, even during cold days, i oso conflict myself by eating ice-cream, but find it too cold to drink cold water.
'cos i simply like the ice-cream n jus wanna take it. u dun need to rmb exactly how i'll react in some cases, or wat 'll i say. cos ppl change n grow up. jus b urself, n b natural. if u keep pressuring urself, n do things u DUN enjoy, wat happiness will u get from it?
yes, i did give up parties for u. tat's a natural sacrifice. cos i need to respect u. but till now, i still observe. or, as you always claim, i look at guys. if u wonder, how come i'm SO BUSY these days n timing so cock up. imagine urself in my shoes. my blog has written it. for timing cock up, when part 1 of my strezz is relieved, i really have no wish to plan once again. u may be thinking, my exam over. surely wanna relax n wanna mit up.
yes i do. but think of the impending asgtmt i have on hand, and the exam left for mi. i have lil confidence i can do it, cos.. tat's mi. i wanna relax, but i cant. i have oni so much time remaining.
on the emotional side, no word can repair it. oni care n concern can heal it.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
these days, whenever.. or rather, nowadays, whenever there're certain lines whcih sound touching, i always feel tat extra twitch in my nostrils. that code couples always use to identify thmselves, and willing make sacrifices for each otehr. maybe, these days, i'm involved as well, so feel tat extra twitch. in past, oni felt those thigns were nice n touchign.
hehe, n these days, i kinda understand why hubbies wanna earn $$$. hahah, so tat spouse can lead a better life ;)
dunno if i really under 2 much strezz. jus now was toking n discussing abt meeting up wif my boi. den i seem to lose my temper... during the chat, i din realise anything. but after hang up, i felt bad siazz..
anyway, doing my asgt due for 22nd aug. wah, now den i realise js is now so powerful!! even some normal text or img can have mouseover effect!!
hehe, n these days, i kinda understand why hubbies wanna earn $$$. hahah, so tat spouse can lead a better life ;)
dunno if i really under 2 much strezz. jus now was toking n discussing abt meeting up wif my boi. den i seem to lose my temper... during the chat, i din realise anything. but after hang up, i felt bad siazz..
anyway, doing my asgt due for 22nd aug. wah, now den i realise js is now so powerful!! even some normal text or img can have mouseover effect!!
Saturday, August 13, 2005
I PASSED MY JAVA BASIC EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
wah liao!!!!!!!!!!! i was so stunned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when i was told i passed, i dunno how to react. den when i saw the paper myself. wah liao, if my frn (or my boi) wif mi, i surely scream. heeh, but i controlled myself n kept smilign all the way. i wanna give the admin guy a hug, but he prefer jus handshake haha. gosh!!! i can't wipe my smile away at all!!! i was beaming wif delight!!!!
i almost wanna weep... i finally know wat it really means by ???? (which means, tears of happiness) i really felt tat my effort has paid off!!!!! study so hard, n finally my first obstable is over!!!!! i msged some ppl. most replied in 10 mins. sighz, the 1 who i really wanna share my joy wif, replied 1 hr later. i was hoping he reply mi, den i call him to elab. or he call mi, oso can. den later, i received a sms/call from him, but he seems bz wif his frns, not in mood to share my joy. more to telling mi how much he miss mi. i guess wrong timing loh.
den later, heard he'll b playing game. thot of surprising him, by appearing there outta blue. din expect him to mean, he'll play 1 hr later.
anyway, i am so excited!!!! u know, for mi, i ... ok some history. ok lah, i dunno how to hide lengthy story, unlike some gal LOL, so... a bit loh soh here. history: i first touch java in '97/98. den for my graduation proj in 2k, i oso used java. den till now, dun have exposure to java at all. den for this java cert i taking, got 2 parts (read: component), 1 is web, 1 is basic. in order to take web, muz finish basic first. my poly dip cant allow mi to bypass the basic. so, i jus had to pass it somehow. due to bochap n anyhow n chin chai attitude, i dinno i had to pass the basic till i took the web component class in mid jul. den i know i MUZ pass basic first.
siao liao, 2 exam at 1 go. preparing for web is tuff enuf. i dun think got time to do pracs for basic liao. so, i borrowed book from NLB, n i know, i muz finish the boko in 1 wk, cos i MUZ finish web n basic by aug. so i PIA PIA like siaoz. diner oso tbuy outside meal. everyday jus go home n read bok. in office oso same thing. luckily got n'day, i got timet o read more. but had to neglect my boi.
the theory wise, i thot everything is in mind liao after reading boko. den when i did the self test section, kauz, i realise some topics, 50% is my accuracy. i was so stressed n despondent. i dun even know if i can make it. here is the strezzz factor:
but from the self test, seem like my solid foundation has melted. i got basic foundation oni. i was so fed up wif mysefl. felt like crying to relax, cos i really so damn strezz! but i dun wnana take teh ez way (read: d**th) but fight for my future.
den i thot my timing for studying quite ok liao, but in end, cock up a bit. last min still revising a bit. but i told myself, i need to know how to ttake the exam wif confidence. so i planned wat time to be at the exam place. relaxed a bit, n took it. ahha, asked a no of qns abt the procedures cos i first time. den while taking, *am i letting out some secrets of Sun if i say something? cos they got some agreement whcih i "agreed" w/o reading thru, as the reading is taking up exam time!!!!*, so while taking, i wonder if they oso allow some kinda passionate marking.
some questions, i somehow rmb mi reading them in the selftest, or theory. but i kinda forgot the results. SHIT! in the end, had to guess. n some questions i really doubt my answers. plus, somtimes my selftest ans is wrong, end up i dun really know if my understanding is there. chamz even. even best, i read the exam requirement: it shld not have a topic, but it appeared in the exam!!!!!!!!!!! err, hehe, i jus check the req again, oni got 4 words to indicate it's included in exam.
den during exam, some ans i not certain if correct or not, n some questions, at first i din ans cos totally blur. in end, i ti-kam the most possible 1. when everything is done, the 2 hr exam left oni 10 secs to kill. good hor? no wonder some ppl feedback the time is too short. i wasn't confident at all tat i'll pass anot. i even resorted to praying to my religion n ancestors as per std.
when eveyting's done, i jus wnana have a break. i know i cant do much, cos still got asgt, n 1 moer exam, but i MUZ relax. hehe. n finally did. took pig trotter for lunch, n watch recorded male superstar. wah liao, know wat? the trotter hor, i used to eating it from those kway chap. first time eat from choy fan stall. kauz, almost like operating on it to get the meat siazz. den the owner say, if i buy trotter ($4), he dun add rice cost. haha, i bought trotter, cos i wanna somethign diff. n he oso din add any cost when i wanna add some tofu.
oh, the superstar thing. luckily i recorded. cos, the old songs, wah really remind mi of the old days siazz. was singing along wif them. hehe, to mi, i did sing well too haha. esp tat "???????", "????????? ????????????. brought back happy memories... i mean the song is VERY touching. hehe, maybe i relaxing, so for 2nd n 4th song, i used lotsa falsetto. haha. for weilian, he sang GOOD. but i scared judges say he seme to be imitating. for the junyang, wah liao, he din use his heart to sing siazz. den wei jian, not bad. but he does sing well. 2 bad, it seems weijian is out.
and these days ch 8 is always showing those old movies.. old but good hehe. as usual, after the exam, felt like going irc, but ahha, now i got my boi wif mi, y shdl i? hehe. oh ya, Lin Ching Hsia is really good at acting...
wah liao!!!!!!!!!!! i was so stunned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when i was told i passed, i dunno how to react. den when i saw the paper myself. wah liao, if my frn (or my boi) wif mi, i surely scream. heeh, but i controlled myself n kept smilign all the way. i wanna give the admin guy a hug, but he prefer jus handshake haha. gosh!!! i can't wipe my smile away at all!!! i was beaming wif delight!!!!
i almost wanna weep... i finally know wat it really means by ???? (which means, tears of happiness) i really felt tat my effort has paid off!!!!! study so hard, n finally my first obstable is over!!!!! i msged some ppl. most replied in 10 mins. sighz, the 1 who i really wanna share my joy wif, replied 1 hr later. i was hoping he reply mi, den i call him to elab. or he call mi, oso can. den later, i received a sms/call from him, but he seems bz wif his frns, not in mood to share my joy. more to telling mi how much he miss mi. i guess wrong timing loh.
den later, heard he'll b playing game. thot of surprising him, by appearing there outta blue. din expect him to mean, he'll play 1 hr later.
anyway, i am so excited!!!! u know, for mi, i ... ok some history. ok lah, i dunno how to hide lengthy story, unlike some gal LOL, so... a bit loh soh here. history: i first touch java in '97/98. den for my graduation proj in 2k, i oso used java. den till now, dun have exposure to java at all. den for this java cert i taking, got 2 parts (read: component), 1 is web, 1 is basic. in order to take web, muz finish basic first. my poly dip cant allow mi to bypass the basic. so, i jus had to pass it somehow. due to bochap n anyhow n chin chai attitude, i dinno i had to pass the basic till i took the web component class in mid jul. den i know i MUZ pass basic first.
siao liao, 2 exam at 1 go. preparing for web is tuff enuf. i dun think got time to do pracs for basic liao. so, i borrowed book from NLB, n i know, i muz finish the boko in 1 wk, cos i MUZ finish web n basic by aug. so i PIA PIA like siaoz. diner oso tbuy outside meal. everyday jus go home n read bok. in office oso same thing. luckily got n'day, i got timet o read more. but had to neglect my boi.
the theory wise, i thot everything is in mind liao after reading boko. den when i did the self test section, kauz, i realise some topics, 50% is my accuracy. i was so stressed n despondent. i dun even know if i can make it. here is the strezzz factor:
in order to take web, i MUZ pass the basic. if basic dun even pass, web can forget abt taking it, cos got a rule saying, if i cant pass an exam, muz wait 2 wks to take again. n if 3 times liao, still cant pass, muz get permission from Sun to re-take. if i dun pass basic, it mean i cant take web, n cant pass anything, den all my $$$ invested in it gone case liaoz. as it's after aug liao. so i muz PASS basic by hook or croak in order to advance. wah liao, damn strezz!!
but from the self test, seem like my solid foundation has melted. i got basic foundation oni. i was so fed up wif mysefl. felt like crying to relax, cos i really so damn strezz! but i dun wnana take teh ez way (read: d**th) but fight for my future.
den i thot my timing for studying quite ok liao, but in end, cock up a bit. last min still revising a bit. but i told myself, i need to know how to ttake the exam wif confidence. so i planned wat time to be at the exam place. relaxed a bit, n took it. ahha, asked a no of qns abt the procedures cos i first time. den while taking, *am i letting out some secrets of Sun if i say something? cos they got some agreement whcih i "agreed" w/o reading thru, as the reading is taking up exam time!!!!*, so while taking, i wonder if they oso allow some kinda passionate marking.
some questions, i somehow rmb mi reading them in the selftest, or theory. but i kinda forgot the results. SHIT! in the end, had to guess. n some questions i really doubt my answers. plus, somtimes my selftest ans is wrong, end up i dun really know if my understanding is there. chamz even. even best, i read the exam requirement: it shld not have a topic, but it appeared in the exam!!!!!!!!!!! err, hehe, i jus check the req again, oni got 4 words to indicate it's included in exam.
den during exam, some ans i not certain if correct or not, n some questions, at first i din ans cos totally blur. in end, i ti-kam the most possible 1. when everything is done, the 2 hr exam left oni 10 secs to kill. good hor? no wonder some ppl feedback the time is too short. i wasn't confident at all tat i'll pass anot. i even resorted to praying to my religion n ancestors as per std.
when eveyting's done, i jus wnana have a break. i know i cant do much, cos still got asgt, n 1 moer exam, but i MUZ relax. hehe. n finally did. took pig trotter for lunch, n watch recorded male superstar. wah liao, know wat? the trotter hor, i used to eating it from those kway chap. first time eat from choy fan stall. kauz, almost like operating on it to get the meat siazz. den the owner say, if i buy trotter ($4), he dun add rice cost. haha, i bought trotter, cos i wanna somethign diff. n he oso din add any cost when i wanna add some tofu.
oh, the superstar thing. luckily i recorded. cos, the old songs, wah really remind mi of the old days siazz. was singing along wif them. hehe, to mi, i did sing well too haha. esp tat "???????", "????????? ????????????. brought back happy memories... i mean the song is VERY touching. hehe, maybe i relaxing, so for 2nd n 4th song, i used lotsa falsetto. haha. for weilian, he sang GOOD. but i scared judges say he seme to be imitating. for the junyang, wah liao, he din use his heart to sing siazz. den wei jian, not bad. but he does sing well. 2 bad, it seems weijian is out.
and these days ch 8 is always showing those old movies.. old but good hehe. as usual, after the exam, felt like going irc, but ahha, now i got my boi wif mi, y shdl i? hehe. oh ya, Lin Ching Hsia is really good at acting...
Friday, August 12, 2005
have finished readign the required chapters needed for exam. frankly, when i first knew i had to etake the exam, i was complacent. i thot: i had the foundation some time back. till now, i can still churn out simple java class. will Sun actually see a candidate to finish exam and walk out unexpectedly early? maybe i'll b the first 1. n since i have the foundation, the exam shld b a breeze to mi.
but i was wrong. i had to sleep at 1+am to finish chapters at night. grew nervous abt my timetable and pressured as time go. now doing last min prep. i mean, doing the mock exam questions. pretty tough. some topics, i blundered in many areas. i hope these mistakes can help mi prep better for exam. duno. perhaps it's jus mi, tat i got no confidence in the exam. sighzz...may god bless mi.
but i was wrong. i had to sleep at 1+am to finish chapters at night. grew nervous abt my timetable and pressured as time go. now doing last min prep. i mean, doing the mock exam questions. pretty tough. some topics, i blundered in many areas. i hope these mistakes can help mi prep better for exam. duno. perhaps it's jus mi, tat i got no confidence in the exam. sighzz...may god bless mi.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
i think i'll take this time to relax... cos jus completed at least... ok ... 150 pages - 200 pages in 1 day. 805am to 530pm. wah liao, morning, took bfast, den go mac there. bought a drink n sat there for 1.5 hr. den thot of going soemhwere quiet to study. little did i know, wheni got to void deck, kauz, got flies biting mi, den so warm, n i totally cant focus on reading at all. once the env is serene, my mind jus go wild, thinking n singing songs. 20 mins down, i still haven't progress from 1 page. siaozz, i cant carry on like tis. was even thinking of going home, den bring some music down.
den i decided to jus go back, but go to kfc. buy a drink, n sat there till 3+. i actually witnessed that ppl finish their meal n left, some rowdy group, n ppl wif low EQ. den, so qiao, an ex-colleauge saw mi n wanna my hp no as i leaving for toilet. i say i give after going toilet. but he is those i dun bother keeping contact wif. den later, he stil came up to mi. got my number, n stored it. he din give mi his. den later, abt 3+, i cant stay there anymore. n left for home. by 530, phew i finally finished my task. finally finished 200 pages. i'm pretty proud of myself.
i guess i gona stick to my plan i wrote here. but may change a bit. will focus on finishingthe book, den when first exam over, i start on prac again. ok, was watching n'day tv. err, felt everything's the same as usual. no surprise. jus the usual programs. tis yr, even super, n'day celeb became chingay - decorative cars were ushered in, telling us our motherland's history. den same old stuff. i did think, if foreigners were watching, they'll say it's fabulous n fantastic. but, i've been watching the same program for years. 25 years, or 20 years to be exact. no change at all. yes, they intro'ed pop singers to perform at n'day, but tat' e oni change.
n this yr, Rui'en (not tat well known) and Taufik (Singapore Idol fame) sang. felt there's no excitemnet at all. would actually prefer those top 5 of singapore idols to sing. ya, tis yr oso bring the celeb to heartlands, but it felt more like celebration of some festivals. some public performance. well, maybe as i grow older, i begin to catch the itinery, n dun feel teh surprise anymore.
had wanna write more comments.. oh well, about someone, but other day perhaps..
den i decided to jus go back, but go to kfc. buy a drink, n sat there till 3+. i actually witnessed that ppl finish their meal n left, some rowdy group, n ppl wif low EQ. den, so qiao, an ex-colleauge saw mi n wanna my hp no as i leaving for toilet. i say i give after going toilet. but he is those i dun bother keeping contact wif. den later, he stil came up to mi. got my number, n stored it. he din give mi his. den later, abt 3+, i cant stay there anymore. n left for home. by 530, phew i finally finished my task. finally finished 200 pages. i'm pretty proud of myself.
i guess i gona stick to my plan i wrote here. but may change a bit. will focus on finishingthe book, den when first exam over, i start on prac again. ok, was watching n'day tv. err, felt everything's the same as usual. no surprise. jus the usual programs. tis yr, even super, n'day celeb became chingay - decorative cars were ushered in, telling us our motherland's history. den same old stuff. i did think, if foreigners were watching, they'll say it's fabulous n fantastic. but, i've been watching the same program for years. 25 years, or 20 years to be exact. no change at all. yes, they intro'ed pop singers to perform at n'day, but tat' e oni change.
n this yr, Rui'en (not tat well known) and Taufik (Singapore Idol fame) sang. felt there's no excitemnet at all. would actually prefer those top 5 of singapore idols to sing. ya, tis yr oso bring the celeb to heartlands, but it felt more like celebration of some festivals. some public performance. well, maybe as i grow older, i begin to catch the itinery, n dun feel teh surprise anymore.
had wanna write more comments.. oh well, about someone, but other day perhaps..
i think, somehow i can say it's a piece of good news.. this gd news, 2 bad my boi not wif mi to share the joy... prefer to tell him personally, to over phone.. ya, both gd n stressful news.
stress news is, my 500+ pages, muz finish reading by fri nite. now i've done 100+ pages liaoz. at my rate, 1 trip from/to office can finish abt 100 pages.. ie 1 day of normal office hours can finish 100 pages. den tmr, is PH. will pia all the way to finish more pages. 100+-200 shld b ok. library not open, so will jus find some void deck to study *had wanna write some noti n jokeful comments, but scared someone take it serious...* study from perhaps 7am till late.. sianzz.. but muz pia for my future. haizz.. den oso got 2 monash assgt to finish by 22 aug, java big exam by 24 aug. siaozz.. really damn packed.
good news is... LOL, by stroke of luck, my dept.. or rather my company, has a website dept which deploys jsp/servlet. i had chatted wif them of my interest n abilities in html, css, programming, taking java, n deg cos. den today, 1 guy who knew abt it, called mi. i thot the call is abt 1 case which i passed over to his colleague. haha, turn out it's good news for mi.
cos, he say, since i learning jsp n servlet, he gonna pass mi 1 proj. finish by sept 2nd. if my work is up to a std, they will try to transfer mi over to their dept!!!! ghahahah... is this gonna b a big break for mi?? dunno.. but i dun wan pressure myself too much.. jus plan my time properly. so right now, i guess i still better finish prep my basic java exam for this sat first, den try to pia my monash asgt over wkend after exam (hope i stil have the mood). den when done, i carry on wif my web comp (big exam) pracs at home, n take note of the impt points while on way to work, so tat i can revise. when tat 1 oso done, i try to pia the proj by the dept loh.
hopefully, these piazz r worth my time n effort... god/buddha, pls bless mi... for success... i cant say i got confidence tat i sure can make it, but i gotta try my best n put my best effort to it...
stress news is, my 500+ pages, muz finish reading by fri nite. now i've done 100+ pages liaoz. at my rate, 1 trip from/to office can finish abt 100 pages.. ie 1 day of normal office hours can finish 100 pages. den tmr, is PH. will pia all the way to finish more pages. 100+-200 shld b ok. library not open, so will jus find some void deck to study *had wanna write some noti n jokeful comments, but scared someone take it serious...* study from perhaps 7am till late.. sianzz.. but muz pia for my future. haizz.. den oso got 2 monash assgt to finish by 22 aug, java big exam by 24 aug. siaozz.. really damn packed.
good news is... LOL, by stroke of luck, my dept.. or rather my company, has a website dept which deploys jsp/servlet. i had chatted wif them of my interest n abilities in html, css, programming, taking java, n deg cos. den today, 1 guy who knew abt it, called mi. i thot the call is abt 1 case which i passed over to his colleague. haha, turn out it's good news for mi.
cos, he say, since i learning jsp n servlet, he gonna pass mi 1 proj. finish by sept 2nd. if my work is up to a std, they will try to transfer mi over to their dept!!!! ghahahah... is this gonna b a big break for mi?? dunno.. but i dun wan pressure myself too much.. jus plan my time properly. so right now, i guess i still better finish prep my basic java exam for this sat first, den try to pia my monash asgt over wkend after exam (hope i stil have the mood). den when done, i carry on wif my web comp (big exam) pracs at home, n take note of the impt points while on way to work, so tat i can revise. when tat 1 oso done, i try to pia the proj by the dept loh.
hopefully, these piazz r worth my time n effort... god/buddha, pls bless mi... for success... i cant say i got confidence tat i sure can make it, but i gotta try my best n put my best effort to it...
Sunday, August 07, 2005
acutally.. come to think of it, having a blog dun really mean u can blurt out watever u wan. ok, it's a page that keeps your thinking n views, and ur watever. but when it comes to sensitive issues like politics, i wonder if we still need to be responsible. if some party dun like it, can it order the blog to be shut down?
well, here comes a small issue. the big issue, i wun mention. small issue, now is national day. i rmb 10 yrs back, abt 2 weeks b4 n'day, i can see national flag hanging andsashaying away moved along as the winds blew at hdb flats. *luckily i check the meaning.. gosh, i had meant to say "the flag... as winds blow, the flags was moving oso..."*
but right now, how many flats are hanging the flags wif on 2 days to n'day??
n right now, stressed by this sat's exam. i thot i had a good foundation. ok, maybe i did have, but the book did have additional info to reinforce n made my foundation stronger. end up, i got more things to read than i thot. a total of 500 odd pages. muz finish it by fri. right now, read 30 pages liao. since the day i loaned it.
well, here comes a small issue. the big issue, i wun mention. small issue, now is national day. i rmb 10 yrs back, abt 2 weeks b4 n'day, i can see national flag hanging and
but right now, how many flats are hanging the flags wif on 2 days to n'day??
n right now, stressed by this sat's exam. i thot i had a good foundation. ok, maybe i did have, but the book did have additional info to reinforce n made my foundation stronger. end up, i got more things to read than i thot. a total of 500 odd pages. muz finish it by fri. right now, read 30 pages liao. since the day i loaned it.
Friday, August 05, 2005
watching ch U "shoot" program.
about how shld parents care for their children.
well, i got nothign to say abt daddy.
but for my mum...
if i were there at the show, i'll probably say, parents shld instil confidence in their children. cos for mi, i nver had confidence in myself til recent yrs. cos i always afraid i'll do the wrong thigns. well, maybe this does not apply to others, 'cos i've never had a chance to be outgoing n learn hwo to make frns. i was always so de introverted. always stay home. my first break came, when i got to know sonya. she tot mi hwo to reason etc. this is 1 of the many things i learnt from her. she brought mi out to real world. leslie... mention him when chance comes.
den as for understanding of mi, probably my mum had her own probs, n due to unbalanced childhood living, my mum din have the chance to know mi better. she oso dunno how to tok to mi. and due to lack of confidence, i oso dun wan tell her anything, in case kena scold. when i was still lvign wif parents, i can say they duno wat i was doing outside. n lotsa things, i was depending on them. cos my mum such too gd care of mi. i have to b independent.
so right now, when i living myself liao, i gradually dun blame my mum. i begin to understand her position n plight. n more understanding of her... i oni wnana say,
mum, i LOVE U :)
2 bad she not gonna see this line hehe...
about how shld parents care for their children.
well, i got nothign to say abt daddy.
but for my mum...
if i were there at the show, i'll probably say, parents shld instil confidence in their children. cos for mi, i nver had confidence in myself til recent yrs. cos i always afraid i'll do the wrong thigns. well, maybe this does not apply to others, 'cos i've never had a chance to be outgoing n learn hwo to make frns. i was always so de introverted. always stay home. my first break came, when i got to know sonya. she tot mi hwo to reason etc. this is 1 of the many things i learnt from her. she brought mi out to real world. leslie... mention him when chance comes.
den as for understanding of mi, probably my mum had her own probs, n due to unbalanced childhood living, my mum din have the chance to know mi better. she oso dunno how to tok to mi. and due to lack of confidence, i oso dun wan tell her anything, in case kena scold. when i was still lvign wif parents, i can say they duno wat i was doing outside. n lotsa things, i was depending on them. cos my mum such too gd care of mi. i have to b independent.
so right now, when i living myself liao, i gradually dun blame my mum. i begin to understand her position n plight. n more understanding of her... i oni wnana say,
mum, i LOVE U :)
2 bad she not gonna see this line hehe...
Thursday, August 04, 2005
ok lah, din keep to my self-promise of working hard on java. started on it oni after 630pm. b4 tat, resting n dozing off. perhaps escaping once agin from the stress, or de-stressing myself first, or simply trying to get some rest b4 i head into it. anyway, my java library book, jus borrowed it, shld b returning it b4 due date, n reading once web component part is done.
den was watching ch U superstar. haha, sometimes, ppl jus know how to criticise from the audio/voice effect, when they themselves dun sing well enuff LOL - referring to myself.
1 ger sang kang ding qing ge. seem like amei version. cos i oni know amei re-sang it. not bad. high enuff, and daring enuff to reach high notes.
1 ger sang wo zhi zai hu ni. i was stunned. it's such a POPULAR n OLDI. she dare to sing it??? my jaw simply dropped. true enuff, she din pull it off well. even in some hk/china performance sometime back when hk went back to china, sammi SYZ oso sang wif faster rhythm to get rid of the old feel. oni Talent Na Ying sang wif original tune wif a new voice. but this ger, sang wif original tune, oni wnana inject her own voice n feel. huh? how good she think she is?? in end, 1 judge comemnted, her "purposely-broke-up-line" was "so unnatural" it din go well in the ears.
1 ger who i like, kelly, she did well once again. well done!! i'll support u spiritually. after some recordign company proved ur talent to be worth my money, i'll buy ur cDs. she sang "ke ai de mei gui hua". n designed some steps. haha, when i saw the steps, i felt "wah, act cute!!" i tuned away haha. den later, ye pei fen oso say she IS cute. hehe, not bad siazz, even mi, a gay, found her appealing. hehe, she made mi turn my eyes, when she sang amei's "open ur eyes".
the last ger, ahha, no good comments from mi at all. i finalyl realise something. this is realised from wat the judges said. thsoe singers who kept winning the rounds simply by having popular votes, if u dun buck up, wif oni those votes, u have to just keep on singing, n bear wif the -ve comments judges have on u. cos u r not good enuff to make it till there, but u have the votes t support u. know wat? the judges keep saying "like i have said b4..." "u still did not take note of ur....." if they dun ever improve, but the votes kept pushing them to the next round, she jus have to keep putting up wif the comments, or rahter critics liao loh.
personal comments, she sang ai shen. e start, got 2 HIGH notes. 1 higher than other. first 1 high enuff. 2nd 1, worse. i not even sure if she can hit the notes. she did it, with screeches. and it's twice. if she got falsetto, i rather she try them. last part, she seeem to lose the notes, or perhaps, cant reach the notes properly, end up off key.
til now, 2 gers have shown talents. i guess now, i .... arghzz, dunno, had wanna catch it, but my studies is stil priority. now sat, still got male singer to catch. jus now, show the mv for a new song they re-sang. dong tian li de yi ba huo. ahah, other than jason n blind, other 2, i have prob differentiating them!! look so similar, but wei jian, is acting cute lah. haha. really act cute to mi, in a gd way :).
n, as i mentioned, i jus registered for exam, n preparing still for web component, at this pt, i somehow self pressure. stil doing prac at tis hr, den exam is 2 wk (13aug) i somehwo got pressure. although diff exam (not e 1 is doing prac for), but i still feel it. haha. gd or bad? dunno. but i know the 13aug exam, i shld have no prob, shld b mere revising for mi, cos i still know a lot of thigns. got a GOOD n SOLID foundation in poly. jus some seldom use stuff, need to know again.
den was watching ch U superstar. haha, sometimes, ppl jus know how to criticise from the audio/voice effect, when they themselves dun sing well enuff LOL - referring to myself.
1 ger sang kang ding qing ge. seem like amei version. cos i oni know amei re-sang it. not bad. high enuff, and daring enuff to reach high notes.
1 ger sang wo zhi zai hu ni. i was stunned. it's such a POPULAR n OLDI. she dare to sing it??? my jaw simply dropped. true enuff, she din pull it off well. even in some hk/china performance sometime back when hk went back to china, sammi SYZ oso sang wif faster rhythm to get rid of the old feel. oni Talent Na Ying sang wif original tune wif a new voice. but this ger, sang wif original tune, oni wnana inject her own voice n feel. huh? how good she think she is?? in end, 1 judge comemnted, her "purposely-broke-up-line" was "so unnatural" it din go well in the ears.
1 ger who i like, kelly, she did well once again. well done!! i'll support u spiritually. after some recordign company proved ur talent to be worth my money, i'll buy ur cDs. she sang "ke ai de mei gui hua". n designed some steps. haha, when i saw the steps, i felt "wah, act cute!!" i tuned away haha. den later, ye pei fen oso say she IS cute. hehe, not bad siazz, even mi, a gay, found her appealing. hehe, she made mi turn my eyes, when she sang amei's "open ur eyes".
the last ger, ahha, no good comments from mi at all. i finalyl realise something. this is realised from wat the judges said. thsoe singers who kept winning the rounds simply by having popular votes, if u dun buck up, wif oni those votes, u have to just keep on singing, n bear wif the -ve comments judges have on u. cos u r not good enuff to make it till there, but u have the votes t support u. know wat? the judges keep saying "like i have said b4..." "u still did not take note of ur....." if they dun ever improve, but the votes kept pushing them to the next round, she jus have to keep putting up wif the comments, or rahter critics liao loh.
personal comments, she sang ai shen. e start, got 2 HIGH notes. 1 higher than other. first 1 high enuff. 2nd 1, worse. i not even sure if she can hit the notes. she did it, with screeches. and it's twice. if she got falsetto, i rather she try them. last part, she seeem to lose the notes, or perhaps, cant reach the notes properly, end up off key.
til now, 2 gers have shown talents. i guess now, i .... arghzz, dunno, had wanna catch it, but my studies is stil priority. now sat, still got male singer to catch. jus now, show the mv for a new song they re-sang. dong tian li de yi ba huo. ahah, other than jason n blind, other 2, i have prob differentiating them!! look so similar, but wei jian, is acting cute lah. haha. really act cute to mi, in a gd way :).
n, as i mentioned, i jus registered for exam, n preparing still for web component, at this pt, i somehow self pressure. stil doing prac at tis hr, den exam is 2 wk (13aug) i somehwo got pressure. although diff exam (not e 1 is doing prac for), but i still feel it. haha. gd or bad? dunno. but i know the 13aug exam, i shld have no prob, shld b mere revising for mi, cos i still know a lot of thigns. got a GOOD n SOLID foundation in poly. jus some seldom use stuff, need to know again.
hey gal, nowadays, u can reply on my blog again liao lah, since i n my boi dun tok so much on blog anymore. n come on, for a long time, i've not had written much on sexual life.
nope, i dinno u dun take prawns. i never had a chance to taste those "good food". perhaps 'cos i was too afraid to try new things tat time. heard abt drunken prawns, where they soak in alcohol, n peel open their shells when they dead drunk. i din think much of these. but tat day, i really saw how horrible it's. now, perhaps i'm affected, but still not sure yet. i may turn vegan in time to come due to the "live show". but i wonder how do they die in the first place? humane way, or....
nope, i dinno u dun take prawns. i never had a chance to taste those "good food". perhaps 'cos i was too afraid to try new things tat time. heard abt drunken prawns, where they soak in alcohol, n peel open their shells when they dead drunk. i din think much of these. but tat day, i really saw how horrible it's. now, perhaps i'm affected, but still not sure yet. i may turn vegan in time to come due to the "live show". but i wonder how do they die in the first place? humane way, or....
for a long time, i din check visit logs liao, dun even know the hell if any1 visiting my blog at all. will i sound ego if i say "wonder if a blog at this time will surprise my audience/visitors". or shld i say, "some of u may be surprise tat i blog at tis hr".
well, somehow planned on monday/tues tat i'll b on mc today liao, so u guys know wat's going on huh? somehow stressed by prepz of java exam, n been getting moody after work. cos my routine is, wake up, prep for work, read java bk on way to work, b in happy mood to start work, den KO, read bk on way back home, eat dinner, do java pracs, watch TV news, do pracs again. this routine is getting mi stressed...
anyway, jus now i went to borrow books for my java:
but sad, the watson at my place close liao... sighzz, my mall is really changing a lot.. very fast... but is this good? cos, if turover rate high, mean no biz can stay long.
well, somehow planned on monday/tues tat i'll b on mc today liao, so u guys know wat's going on huh? somehow stressed by prepz of java exam, n been getting moody after work. cos my routine is, wake up, prep for work, read java bk on way to work, b in happy mood to start work, den KO, read bk on way back home, eat dinner, do java pracs, watch TV news, do pracs again. this routine is getting mi stressed...
anyway, jus now i went to borrow books for my java:
Sun Certified Programmer & Developer forhaha, i thot i cant find it after searching 2 shelves, den had wanna ask the librarian to help mi find, if cant, make a big fuss. den 3rd shelf, i found a bk whcih look similar, beside it, i foudn my book!!!!!!!! i can read my first exam liaoz!!!!!!!!!!!
Java 2 Study Guide (Exam 310-035 & 310-027)
by Kathy Sierra, Bert Bates
but sad, the watson at my place close liao... sighzz, my mall is really changing a lot.. very fast... but is this good? cos, if turover rate high, mean no biz can stay long.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
i guess i blog a lot when i under stress... or bored. jus now, wanna cook chu qian yi ding. den was washing the pot, suddenly saw.. i think 3 baby cockroach suddenly emerge from nowhere in the basin. haha, my boi's beloved frn certainly will scream at it. but mi, i saw 2 escape from my sight liao. 1 stuck at the basin, trying to escape but 2 steep n slippery. i went to take some papers from ym room to pick it up, but it 2 scared to board it. kauz, trie dfo few mins. decided to jus dry up the surface so it can climb. but, aiyo, really too steep, cant make it. den i tried my best to get it on the paper... phew, finalyl got it. i den threw.. or rather let the paper drift downstairs... shld b no water bah, e plc it land on. later, oso no wish to cook liao... haha, no wish to eat liao. now nibbling dried stuff. but now, i thinking, were the 2 his family? right now, i drifted it down, are they separated? damn it, anyway i have no way of letting it onto the basin again. it's 2 scared to move while on paper... hope it's alright, and living :)
sleep liao.. i got 5 more pracs to go for my java, 2 more lecs to read up. arghzz, frankly speaking, i really din expect aug to come so fast. yes, my bday near aug, but i jus... passed it n din, even in my subconscious mind, i know bday near aug, but somehow jus din realise after tat, it's gonna b aug liao. kauzz, time pass fast siazz.. hopefully can celebrate 3rd mth in a happy mood, not stressed.
sleep liao.. i got 5 more pracs to go for my java, 2 more lecs to read up. arghzz, frankly speaking, i really din expect aug to come so fast. yes, my bday near aug, but i jus... passed it n din, even in my subconscious mind, i know bday near aug, but somehow jus din realise after tat, it's gonna b aug liao. kauzz, time pass fast siazz.. hopefully can celebrate 3rd mth in a happy mood, not stressed.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
sighzz.. recently got ... ok not tat recent, got the gambling den issue. den later got NKF issue. den now, no news liao. suddenly, got rule say cannot smoke at some areas... LOL. i think most ppl understand why is there such conflict: alow sale of cig, but keep on minimising the smoking area. LOL... jus like another gay conflict. gay can work in singapore, but their sex acts r illegal. we buy food, but not allowed to eat. sighz, when did my world become such a conflicting place??
sometimes, really gotta take my hat off my sis. we went to suntec there for bfast timsum. the service lvl dropped. n the food std oso. den when we paid the bill, she ask the cashier if the chef changed. cashier say "when was ur last time here?" "2 mths" "no, din change" etc...
somehow i feel tat the cashier is lying. i asked sis. she say cashier shld not b lying, but the chef did change. if not, cashier wun ask when did we last go there... wah.. din think of tat...
somehow i feel tat the cashier is lying. i asked sis. she say cashier shld not b lying, but the chef did change. if not, cashier wun ask when did we last go there... wah.. din think of tat...
Monday, August 01, 2005
i think i muz be GRATEFUL to my parents, body structure, meta rate. cos i realise tat, when i fully/totally stressed (by my java n monash), i really sing to relax. sang ting hai, ai he cheng nuo, yi ge ren de wo yi ran hui wei siao (on purpose spell wrong), some others. din sing the full song, but jus parts of it. think of wat song, sing wat song. den i oso keep nibbling on the "dried fish fillet" (dried n sliced cuttlefish). bochap whether i hungry or not, jus wanna relax n b steady. later may take supper even. thankfully, i nio need to care abt whether my fig go haywire anot... ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
