Thursday, May 31, 2007


first 2 pic, i forgot how i got them.. but well, guys at a public n open air bathtub heheh... n 1 guy even got 2 pax siazzz.. den next 2 pic, a talented young guy playing violin.. i dunno how long he can survive wif his good boy image... cos his music seem to leave a light impression.. unlike wang li hong who stirred a storm when he came out, and jay chou, who sports an attitude image..

but, when he appeared in singapore local show, he was trying to dance n groove to his fast music.. lol.. tat the oni cute thing he did so far.. his T shirt n his lean-back stance.. showed his lean body.. n his "i wanna b open wif my moves" gestures... ahahha...



cute hahha...




not exactly good looking.. but the way he butts up his shirt... umm, looks tantalising :)


this 1 even hotter rite? lol... OHHH... wah liao.. feel so porn though..



oudy in steam room.. HOT huh..



oudy in action again..



i thnk i mainly wnana snap tat topless guy.. name is "oudy". cute body hor?



the first pic, sometimes he is cute... 2nd pic, haha.. jus felt like snapping. 3rd pic wanna see ah-qin... he appear quite sexy at times, but dun wan reveal 2 much... haha... 4th pic, a nice figure for that tall guy..



his name is "ah ben".. duno he's in singing or acting side.. more of a idol type.. ahhah.. really... how come, those good looking ones tend to oni b vases?? u knw... he was there wif 2 more guys to promote their drama. those 2 guys danced to their best to shwocase their talents. really sweat. den this ah-ben.. he moved his arms very very lightly.. really jus moving ... ok lah, moving to rhythm.. but jus moving oni.. n wat's more, jus rap n sing a little... really jus a face on tv... how is he gonna survive?? in showbiz?? jus face oni, no body no height..

den.. white shirt guy is ah-qin..




no offence to him... jus tat i oni wan see this cute host nia... dun mean to "move flower link wood"... (translated to: made-up pic)



matt damon.. 1 of his first movies i think... thus he din care about anything.. jus... showed watever seems requied.. but wah liao.. the sticking part SOOOO fake


my dearest darling dean cain... of the Superman series back in 90s... he had a fantastic body to boot those days n was HOT HOT HOT... now, dunno if he's got any titles to his name, but i sure still remember him!! i wonder.. if i got money, will i b able to invite him to some.. opening ceremony...



nice looking bodies galore!!! first is despo hsewife guy.. an English national. umm, some of the matured actors do know they have to keep themselves in shape to keep going :) den teh tattoo guy.. n the dancer whose shirt is blown by the aircon on stage.. n u saw tat?? western movies.. nudity is so common!!!!




one of the pic i took from fear factor..n .. some.. funny old movies.. nice body hor!??!
today is vesak holiday... until tues (2 days ago) when my colleague mentioned den i rmb.. or rather, knw..

so totally nothing planned.. had thot i can take tis chance to read n prep for exam. but well, the mood is nt here yet.. think i better dun strezz myself yet.. so i'll post some the millions of pic i've taken from tv so far onto my blog.. n hor.. wah liao, it's so tuff to.. take pictures liao, den edit them to form 1 pic n post.. dunno.. i may jus snap n post them in future.. see how first.. but if i knw i gonna take many, i may still edit them n post at 1 shot.

let's go!!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

nvr expected it.. no premonition...

but 2 interesting things happened today... heheh...

u knw, sometimes, on the mrt, it gets crowded, making it hard to move... but it feels gd if the person crowding wif u appeal to u hahahah...

den, next thing, the guy from my company, he said he nt keen anymore.. in the photography.. wah liao, i stunned siazz.. den hrs later, i checked with him again, to find out why he dun wan lioa.. guess it's cos i scared him off.. he thot maybe i have something else in mind siazz.. but well, hhaha.. i do have... cos he even mentioned tat he got a gf.. who knws true anot.. n he oso dun wan wear sleeveless attire.. oh well.. :)

but later, i managed to calm him down still... hope he still onz.. but in fact, he's really jus a pretty face.. comm n teeth wise.. lol...

Monday, May 28, 2007

really.. almost everything has a limit... limit to patience, limit to etc..

my limit was tested during ktv session..

a frn ask mi out. so we walk around the city there.. n.. wah liao, so many stylish n cute guys to beo siazz!!!! really really die ah... old man cant take sight of so many.. eye candies @ 1 go siazzz..

den, abt the ktv, tis frn, i can understand why he's still having tat childish n immature thinking.. n.. wild imagination.. but sometimes, it can step on nerves..

imagine.. a song is ending in 10 secs. he's holding on to remote n looking at sceen n trying to press the butts. i ask him reject song. he was still selecting songs. den my song jus ended, n he said... "oh.. press eject.." i was stunned... i exclaimed, "NO, do not eject!!"...

he luffed upon hearing it.. saying i sounded so nervous... for gawd's sake, the song is ending, then he abt to eject?? n luff at mi for being so nervous?!? it really spoilt my mood... i thot it din.. but it did.. n perhaps including other things, like acting out wat the dialogues in mtvs do.. eg, for "yuan dian", SYZ n tanya were discussing the song, as though they're interviewed...

he, imitated them n repeated wat they said... as though he's being interviwed... wif all those hand gesture some more.. n kept praising mtv actors, saying they cute.. n for every little thing he finds amusing in the mtv, he'll ask "how come its like tat??"

Saturday, May 26, 2007

haah... i'm excited!!!

i mentioned tat, i intend to take that IA student's pic rite??

today, i mustered up my courage to ask him.. i think he oso stunned somehow. i asked if he's ok wif it.. den he immediately ask when i intend to take.. n ask whether it will jus b facial changes.. wah.. he din even ask wat kinda pix... think he really new to these siazz..

i volunteered to send him some sample pix lah.. den he "oh.. ok, send mi sample pix first"..

wah liao.. later, i got so excited abt it siazz!!! i managed to hook him up!! but i kept telling myself dun make it feel so porno.. most of my ideas involve him.. going topless lol... or... not covering his entire body up..

but i thnk as time passes, i'm able to think of poses tat r more natural.. see how things go.. he seems quite open abt photo taking.. dun have wayward thinking..

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

how long have i not blogged?

well, been so stressful.. n... resigned to fate kinda mentality.. well, sad things, dun bother mentioning..

happy stuff r worth blogging!!

forgot wat's 1 thing i wanna blog.. maybe.. my dad's mistress died? cld b.. sigh.. dunno wat's so happy abt it.. but jus felt.. justice is done? dun ask mi y.. perhaps it's the feeling of having to share my dad wif... someone who my family nvr met.. but we knw she's sharing him..

next ting, rmb... i mentioned abt a beng student in my company? somehow, seem like no chance to tok to him at all.. oni can see...

den, oso got another IA student.. not exactly handsome or wat, but his style jus so.. make him quite dashing in his own way.. cos i cant think of any guy who can own such hairstyle. i did notice him for quite a while lioa.. soemtimes, even thot of initiating a chat wif a smile.. but.. as usual, guys always turn away from your stare..

den, today, so qiao.. all my frns decided to go out for lunch.. i decided to stay back to eat.. 2 gers join mi. when we downstairs, so qiao (coincident), this guy n 2 gers oso going.. 1 ger is my team member siazz.. i greeted her.. den afterwards... strike up a short chat wif her.. den.. the chat slowly led to mi.. toking to tat guy n... haizz.. tat ger.. hahaha... so scheming of mi..

he's msian... jimmy... from KL.. 颜德耀.. chimz name hor? haha... he look korean to mi.. n my colleague say he look china.. lol... i wonder, if got chance to take his pic lol... haha.. i'm fantasizing... n make a photography profile for him lol.. *wink*

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

sigh... it's really sad to hear tat, a boy's mum died suddenly due to a tree falling down.. n it's right after mum day..

树欲停而风不止
子欲养而亲不在

how true.. for those who dun understand it, it means "the tree wishes to stay still, but the wind won't stop. the child wishes to support his parents, but they are no longer alive"...

Monday, May 14, 2007

aiyo... i'm actually saying this..

a tall guy at my office... go gym in the office.. n his chest got the size.. n.. haha.. wif his protruding nipples, any casual T tat he wear. can see his nipples easily siazz lol.. nice =D

Sunday, May 13, 2007

am i so obvious in my glares?? or it's due to my dress code n.. stand out dress sense?

Saturday, May 12, 2007

jus watched TV n saw something worrying...

a guy who did not have any relatives (i'm not sure abt frns).. died on his bed 7 yrs back... oni recently, when his landlord wanna make him move, n barged into his room, den his corpse was discovered...

will tis happen to those who.. dun intend to get married?? it's pretty scary..

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

as mentioned in earlier post, today i visited frnster.. n to my surprise.. umm ,or is it? a lot of aj folks bared their bodies in their pix...

no offence here, pls.. but as aj, do we really depend on flaunting our bodies to feel a sense of worth? yes... i mean, yes, those ppl who show appear topless either have a lean tone bod, or have muscles for drooling.. but.. is there a need to really show eveyr one tat?

the first impression, cos i'm human, a guy, n have my needs :P n feel the "wow" factor, was this guy really has a tantalising body... n next thing is to send msg, n probably add him to my frns list. but.. the thing tat attracts mi is the body.. which usually means i wanna see his body.. probably more than anything else.. is this really wat they wan?

they may jus wanna attract eye balls, or b proud of their bodies.. but will tis usually b the effect? admiration? or lust? is tat y.. aj world is more to "look mi up on bed"?
got good n bad things tdy... sigh...

i was at client site tdy...

gd things:
i was so bored, i sent out my frnster email to all hp ppl..
i read the news
i chatted up wif a law grad intern.. click quite ok.. n took pic wif him (but will NT upload the pix at all.. from pic, i can see how small size i really am... sianzz).. he's not tat yandao at first look, but the more i see, the better he somehow gets..
i managed to fish out some comments.. positive ones abt our project.

bad:
so far, can oni think of 1.. unintentionally, i gave additional work to my team.. cos i blurted out an extra option to the client, n they chose tat extra option.
my boss gave mi a earful... really... i was kinda stunned.. esp hearing wat thigns needs to be changed to do tat extra.. sigh.. but i dunno whether... she's angry, thus giving so much info.. or really the case..

ok, tat's all.. someone added mi to frnster... n commented tat 1 of his pic "act cute".. hehe, well, he's oredi cute.. "act" is oni power-up his cute points =D i dun think he knw my blog.. n perhaps dunno i referring to him.. so haha.. YES HE'S CUTE.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

"date wif wampire" actor

yu nu xin jing

supernatural actor.. naked on bed =D

visiting a bar naked

dog marriage

a cute and innovative/original dance

china handsome guy

k1 - kido

daren

renfred video

lets see wat i gona update... nice n stressing stuff..

2 accomplishments at work

2 accomplishments at work achieved. 1 being, at a discussion wif a client, i brought up an idea which the client accepted... a minor idea lah.. but, stil it's an idea which was valid heeh... other being, within 2 days, i managed to resolve a prob wif a module, so tat the team can continue progressing in the proj..

umm, the client, orignially, i felt he's an ABC wif a goatie.. not my type... i first met in probably 2 mths after i joined the company. den, ytday was 2nd meet. tis 2nd meet, b4 meeting, i even msn'ed soemone, saying tat he's ABC wif goatie, not my type. but when i saw him again, his words made him cute.. cos he's not someone wif a "i knw wat i'm doing, n will put up a struggle to prove my stand", but "umm, ya, u've got a point there.. lemme consider" attitude. i like it..

n, am i the only person giving him the attentive eye? cos during the discussion, sometimes when he speaks, i tend to look into his eyes as a form of respect n attentive listening. but.. duno if true anot, among the 5 ppl inside (incl mi n excl him), i'm the oni 1 to pierce/look deeply into his eyes... um, ABC.. having grown up in usa, will he feel otherwise? or take it professionally as exchange of ideas?

===========
uncle think 2 much

den, ytday i was crossing the bridge to meet my frn in heartland. on the bridge, got a mid age uncle (by the use of tis word, easy to guess his looks n body right?) in front of mi... as we went down the bridge, i saw my frn standing at a corner.. den this uncle suddenly slowed down to stand beside a pillar after leaving the bridge. i den approached my frn...

it's not a scenario tat's easily described. cos, it appears as though, the uncle sees tat frn standing there, n thto we r targetting him like those porn vid wif sm stuff.. (umm, is sm really a general term, tat says everything tat's not under vanilla?) u knw.. on the street, a victim walking past, 1 guy in front blocks him, 1 or 2 guys hurry up from behind to subdue him. ... or maybe i thot 2 much lah.. perhaps he's tinking it's a planned robbery... lol..

it's just a hilarious moment.

==============

a model in the making?

umm, while helping my frn, his elder bro appeared in the living room. his bro got the arm muscles.. in singlet... face seem normal n alright.. but not attractive to mi.. i wonder how's the body.. tis frn, supposed to add mi to frnster/msn..

==============

rival in biz

later, i went for my late lunch.. wah, got new food stall opening... n even jus oppo my fav stall siazz!! fierce fight liao.. den as i sat there, lunching, i kept observing the new stall.. i was oni thinking of the food they may offer n stuff.. but, a fat guy walked out from tat stall, n i wonder.. if they got a hunk, yandao or cute guy... watever, jus my type.. is helping out there.. will i actually forsake my fav stall?? dunno..

anyway, my fav stall got the cute bro, n the beng helper.. the beng helper oso change attitude.. fancy greeting mi for the first time while i eating siazz!!

============
western vs asian movies

a few more thngs:
anyone ever realised soemthing? western movies usually come wif fantastic animations and CG. n they usually get wowed at n nominated. n they are truly impressive.

but when it comes to asian movies, such effects are always so kiddy n amateur n get scorned at. i myself, truly dun see the point in having so much CG stuff in movies n dramas. yes, they do impress viewers, but sometimes the effect is impressive in a wrong way. in tat, they dun give ever lasting impression, more to seeing wat is drawn out (try drawing out a flying dragon). why do we seem to wanna follow western footsteps n give so much CG? we have our own forte. why not focus on the real n true side of wat simple animations and CG can do?

ytday, "The Eye" was on tv. i felt tat's jus so real. even the ghosts n shadows. n look at those award winning dramas/movies. din pay much attnetion, but my gut tells mi, they use little or no CG. they use real humans n feels n emotions to depict everything. this is truly wat we depend on.

==================

AOB:

sigh, stress... i feel i'm slacking, big time, over my assignment.. i dunno when did asgt2 came out.. 1 is due 2 wks time, 1 is due 3-4 wks.
lets see wat i gona update... nice n stressing stuff..

2 accomplishments at work

2 accomplishments at work achieved. 1 being, at a discussion wif a client, i brought up an idea which the client accepted... a minor idea lah.. but, stil it's an idea which was valid heeh... other being, within 2 days, i managed to resolve a prob wif a module, so tat the team can continue progressing in the proj..

umm, the client, orignially, i felt he's an ABC wif a goatie.. not my type... i first met in probably 2 mths after i joined the company. den, ytday was 2nd meet. tis 2nd meet, b4 meeting, i even msn'ed soemone, saying tat he's ABC wif goatie, not my type. but when i saw him again, his words made him cute.. cos he's not someone wif a "i knw wat i'm doing, n will put up a struggle to prove my stand", but "umm, ya, u've got a point there.. lemme consider" attitude. i like it..

n, am i the only person giving him the attentive eye? cos during the discussion, sometimes when he speaks, i tend to look into his eyes as a form of respect n attentive listening. but.. duno if true anot, among the 5 ppl inside (incl mi n excl him), i'm the oni 1 to pierce/look deeply into his eyes... um, ABC.. having grown up in usa, will he feel otherwise? or take it professionally as exchange of ideas?

===========
uncle think 2 much

den, ytday i was crossing the bridge to meet my frn in heartland. on the bridge, got a mid age uncle (by the use of tis word, easy to guess his looks n body right?) in front of mi... as we went down the bridge, i saw my frn standing at a corner.. den this uncle suddenly slowed down to stand beside a pillar after leaving the bridge. i den approached my frn...

it's not a scenario tat's easily described. cos, it appears as though, the uncle sees tat frn standing there, n thto we r targetting him like those porn vid wif sm stuff.. (umm, is sm really a general term, tat says everything tat's not under vanilla?) u knw.. on the street, a victim walking past, 1 guy in front blocks him, 1 or 2 guys hurry up from behind to subdue him. ... or maybe i thot 2 much lah.. perhaps he's tinking it's a planned robbery... lol..

it's just a hilarious moment.

==============

a model in the making?

umm, while helping my frn, his elder bro appeared in the living room. his bro got the arm muscles.. in singlet... face seem normal n alright.. but not attractive to mi.. i wonder how's the body.. tis frn, supposed to add mi to frnster/msn..

==============

rival in biz

later, i went for my late lunch.. wah, got new food stall opening... n even jus oppo my fav stall siazz!! fierce fight liao.. den as i sat there, lunching, i kept observing the new stall.. i was oni thinking of the food they may offer n stuff.. but, a fat guy walked out from tat stall, n i wonder.. if they got a hunk, yandao or cute guy... watever, jus my type.. is helping out there.. will i actually forsake my fav stall?? dunno..

anyway, my fav stall got the cute bro, n the beng helper.. the beng helper oso change attitude.. fancy greeting mi for the first time while i eating siazz!!

============
western vs asian movies

a few more thngs:
anyone ever realised soemthing? western movies usually come wif fantastic animations and CG. n they usually get wowed at n nominated. n they are truly impressive.

but when it comes to asian movies, such effects are always so kiddy n amateur n get scorned at. i myself, truly dun see the point in having so much CG stuff in movies n dramas. yes, they do impress viewers, but sometimes the effect is impressive in a wrong way. in tat, they dun give ever lasting impression, more to seeing wat is drawn out (try drawing out a flying dragon). why do we seem to wanna follow western footsteps n give so much CG? we have our own forte. why not focus on the real n true side of wat simple animations and CG can do?

ytday, "The Eye" was on tv. i felt tat's jus so real. even the ghosts n shadows. n look at those award winning dramas/movies. din pay much attnetion, but my gut tells mi, they use little or no CG. they use real humans n feels n emotions to depict everything. this is truly wat we depend on.

==================

AOB:

sigh, stress... i feel i'm slacking, big time, over my assignment.. i dunno when did asgt2 came out.. 1 is due 2 wks time, 1 is due 3-4 wks.
lets see wat i gona update... nice n stressing stuff..

2 accomplishments at work

2 accomplishments at work achieved. 1 being, at a discussion wif a client, i brought up an idea which the client accepted... a minor idea lah.. but, stil it's an idea which was valid heeh... other being, within 2 days, i managed to resolve a prob wif a module, so tat the team can continue progressing in the proj..

umm, the client, orignially, i felt he's an ABC wif a goatie.. not my type... i first met in probably 2 mths after i joined the company. den, ytday was 2nd meet. tis 2nd meet, b4 meeting, i even msn'ed soemone, saying tat he's ABC wif goatie, not my type. but when i saw him again, his words made him cute.. cos he's not someone wif a "i knw wat i'm doing, n will put up a struggle to prove my stand", but "umm, ya, u've got a point there.. lemme consider" attitude. i like it..

n, am i the only person giving him the attentive eye? cos during the discussion, sometimes when he speaks, i tend to look into his eyes as a form of respect n attentive listening. but.. duno if true anot, among the 5 ppl inside (incl mi n excl him), i'm the oni 1 to pierce/look deeply into his eyes... um, ABC.. having grown up in usa, will he feel otherwise? or take it professionally as exchange of ideas?

===========
uncle think 2 much

den, ytday i was crossing the bridge to meet my frn in heartland. on the bridge, got a mid age uncle (by the use of tis word, easy to guess his looks n body right?) in front of mi... as we went down the bridge, i saw my frn standing at a corner.. den this uncle suddenly slowed down to stand beside a pillar after leaving the bridge. i den approached my frn...

it's not a scenario tat's easily described. cos, it appears as though, the uncle sees tat frn standing there, n thto we r targetting him like those porn vid wif sm stuff.. (umm, is sm really a general term, tat says everything tat's not under vanilla?) u knw.. on the street, a victim walking past, 1 guy in front blocks him, 1 or 2 guys hurry up from behind to subdue him. ... or maybe i thot 2 much lah.. perhaps he's tinking it's a planned robbery... lol..

it's just a hilarious moment.

==============

a model in the making?

umm, while helping my frn, his elder bro appeared in the living room. his bro got the arm muscles.. in singlet... face seem normal n alright.. but not attractive to mi.. i wonder how's the body.. tis frn, supposed to add mi to frnster/msn..

==============

rival in biz

later, i went for my late lunch.. wah, got new food stall opening... n even jus oppo my fav stall siazz!! fierce fight liao.. den as i sat there, lunching, i kept observing the new stall.. i was oni thinking of the food they may offer n stuff.. but, a fat guy walked out from tat stall, n i wonder.. if they got a hunk, yandao or cute guy... watever, jus my type.. is helping out there.. will i actually forsake my fav stall?? dunno..

anyway, my fav stall got the cute bro, n the beng helper.. the beng helper oso change attitude.. fancy greeting mi for the first time while i eating siazz!!

============
western vs asian movies

a few more thngs:
anyone ever realised soemthing? western movies usually come wif fantastic animations and CG. n they usually get wowed at n nominated. n they are truly impressive.

but when it comes to asian movies, such effects are always so kiddy n amateur n get scorned at. i myself, truly dun see the point in having so much CG stuff in movies n dramas. yes, they do impress viewers, but sometimes the effect is impressive in a wrong way. in tat, they dun give ever lasting impression, more to seeing wat is drawn out (try drawing out a flying dragon). why do we seem to wanna follow western footsteps n give so much CG? we have our own forte. why not focus on the real n true side of wat simple animations and CG can do?

ytday, "The Eye" was on tv. i felt tat's jus so real. even the ghosts n shadows. n look at those award winning dramas/movies. din pay much attnetion, but my gut tells mi, they use little or no CG. they use real humans n feels n emotions to depict everything. this is truly wat we depend on.

==================

AOB:

sigh, stress... i feel i'm slacking, big time, over my assignment.. i dunno when did asgt2 came out.. 1 is due 2 wks time, 1 is due 3-4 wks.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

darn... i'm really a honry bastard...

been days liao.. cant rmb the sequence..

anyway, did i mention there was a beng IA student in my comp? hehhe.. read on:

1) early morning, i walking towards office main door, den he jus alighted from the lift. he walked in front of mi.. he noticed someone behind. he opened the door.. n kept the door open for mi.. HEHEHE.. i was so happy siazz!!

2) after lunch, i came back wif frns.. n saw him walk past mi.. his body is slim... hopefully tone oso =D

3) on way home after work, he was on the bus.. n luffing happily wif his frns.. his teeth were so cute =D

4) ytday, our team went for movie treat.. somehow, he got up the bus late n had to stand. wah........ a delicacy in front of mi, but i cant keep staring..... a real torture! dashing, handsome... heheh...

=====================

5) i was on mrt to work. den i noticed a boy.. sec/poly/jc age.. standing somewhere in mid. i saw him, n he's cute lah, ok. i think he noticed my glances oso.. so he somehow tried to avoid.. but later, when the mrt stopped, a number of ppl alighted n boarded.. n in a way, he was.. pushed (or did he choose?) to my side.. all teh way to right in front of mi!!

i was reading papers.. but since he come so near, i decided to drop my papers so tat we can be nearer lol.... although it seems like, i drop my papers to make space.. haha... the way he stand, really those scaredy n innocent boys. i placed my hands down to cover my pte. n he standing in such way his hand rubbing mine. when he realised it, he moved his hands away. i dun wan stare at him, so i look sideways. den, as the train moved, his pockets still keep rubbing my hands.. wah lioa.. if i take my hands away, mi sure kena "molest by him" lol.. jus an innocent boy loh..

6) TODAY!!!! i met my dream boy again!!!! once again, he's in HIS dress code. dull color T, 3 quarters pants, n sling bag. still tat cute n earthly feel!! wah.. i wish i can catch him to sch everyday siazz.. n wish he's working in my comp.. den everyday can care for him.. BUT... my cover how.. later crack... den the cat will jump out..

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

hi chris n les,

thanks for your views...

=================

les, u're right.. u hit the nail on the... roof/watever.. but another key is, my sex drive.. it's damn high.. n being an office worker (not partime), u usually have little time to seek guys out online. n i nvr cruise. so it's pretty hard to find someone to b in bed wif u. either when u need it, or when u have the urge..

blif it or not, i've thought of paying for it. calling for house svc. but come to think of it, i have wat it takes to turn (some) ppl on. instead of paying for it to satisfy my needs, i might as well get paid for doing it.

i know it's still very much considered as derogatory here.. tat's another thing which troubles mi.. esp my future Him.

it's not going to be a glory for mi. but it at least satisfies my needs, n same time, i (may) enjoy it, n earn some extra...

having said these, it's still a plan for mi.. n without careful planning n meticulous decision arriving, nothign will ever happen..

==================

chris, hope you're not offended by my pal's words.. he knows mi inside out, but he's definitely oni meaning well for mi oni..

for the massaging, if i realy decide to go for it, i wun go for massaging. it's too common. i have a few fantasies which is pretty creative.. besides, wat's massaging when you oni have a few days training? it's simply a rub of ur body..

for the pix, dun worry, i nvr post any fleshy/flashy pic wif my face online.. even if i did, i make sure it's not without any camouflage. n from my research in some social escort sites, full monty pic is not the asian trend. i probably stick to turning-on poses.

Monday, April 30, 2007

hey chris,

yep, i have that in mind.. posting pictures of my self online, n stating wat i can acept n cant. but i oso have to accept tat, at times, when the air gets heated up, anything can happen.. especially if i meet a big sized guy, who is determined to get mi..

nice thngs are always wat ppl hope for, but i still have to prepare for the worst...

n... in tis way, i feel like a pros. i'm still lokoing for love... i';m not sure if by doing so, will my Him still accept mi..

experimental is good, provided you know u r in safe hands.. but not when u're paid for it. if the person is nt happy wif anything, and if he's a rogue, he can simply deduct some money off u.. wat's more, in sm, once you're in spreadeagle pose, u're totally helpless.. i dun think it's wise to go into it..

lol... fancy discussing such things here ;)

n thanks for the "inform someone where you r" advice.. although it may sound exaggerated, i feel it's necessary.. as self protection... :)
i won again hehehe...

at work today, as i mentioned, my upperstudy wanted mi to amend a script to ensure it's wokring fine. so i amended it. later, she requested mi to make sure its submitted into production by today. i den questioned abt tis move...

cos, there's an extra step tat she included in the script. i asked if she had tried it on development server. she said there's no way to try, AND she insisted that, I had not tried my script tis way, why bother doing it? i tried telling her wat i was trying to do, n she gave a killer-line: the system is not setup for such tests yet.

i simply stopped saying anythign. n went to my seat. my thoughts: alright, since she's insistent it works, i'll follow her wishes n submit to prod... jus when i'm abt to do so, she told mi "let's go try it out.."

wow, she did see my point :)

den, when we got to the development server, all i saw was that, she brought everything, software, PKI stuff n files... aimed to test everything from scratch. i immediately felt she's just trying to say aloud, i want to test the entire script. which is NOT NOT NOT wat i meant! i immediately told her wat i wanted to test, n she insisted that's the way. need to download eveyrthing from scratch.

i told her there's not such a need. she replied "ok ok , let u do it" when no data file has been setup yet. i den told her, if she's sure things are ok, we dun have to do it, cos i can feel she's NOT sincere in testing things out. she jus wan to spite mi.

she den responded "but you want to test rite?"

i replied "nvm" n left the room in a huff.. our boss, who's inside the server room, immediately called mi back.. i went back.. n boss say "i can't help but had to interfere.." boss den asked us to say our piece. perhaps my boss knows my style of giving my view.. so, when i was abt to say, n upperstudy interrupted, boss stopped her n let me say my piece.. n after hearing us out, she concluded WISELY that, i was worried abt whether the extra step will jeopardise the script or not..

upperstudy paused for a sec, n said "no.. i tried b4.." boss knw where she's coming from, n said she dun wan any cockup, n say its better to test things out properly.. n to tis, upperstudy said "ya, tat's wat i mean!"

huh??

n u knw wat... or guessed it? the extra step jeopardised a part of the data. when upperstudy came in, she mentioned again tat sh's tried the prototype b4, n it's working.. but i left her to check things out..

in the end, she realised she needed to make adjustment to other scripts oso... but things still did not end up smoothly as she expected...

sigh...

================

along the way, it seem like, in the past, when i jus joined, i din have much idea wat things were going on.. n easily pushed around.. nw den i grasped much more, i am better able to hold my stand :)

even tody, when the team was discussing abt whether our work is ready for client's purview, i readily spoke up for my module, when it came under scrutiny =D

Sunday, April 29, 2007

hi chris.. thanks, i know where you're coming from.

That's why I still wondering if I should go for it.. a lot of concerns.. esp when my body is not open to all sorts of experimentations..
sigh... poor mi, realyl getting VERY VERY honry..

ok.. tok something VERY surprising first... i went to gym liao, n use gel to style my hair. den u knw wat??????

when i took mrt for my hairstyling session, a lot of sec/poly gers were on the train.. n... gosh, i feel as though every1's (gers) are on mi siazz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was so scared stiff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i even noticed, 1 ger (malay) leaning out, revealing her cleavage n was looking into my direction.. she held tat pose for 2 secs, den her mum ask her not to lean tat way... wah liao!!!!! n oso, got a ger wif bf.. they board train, n stood 1 side originally.. but the ger kept looking at mi.. or peeping.. den later, her bf... unsuspectingly, brought her to stand by the door... directly in front of mi... the guy is those sec sch guys.. (no face, no body.. got tummy even).. if the guy nice loking, i think i... no, i defintiely WILL look... lol..

aiyo.. so frightening!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 but then, let's say, suddenly got 1 guy walk past, n i immeidately throw eyes at him.. i wonder how will the gers react.. or will they notice?

ok, den at the hair dressing there.. i... felt embarrassing siazz...

the guy who wash my hair.. not my type at all.. but he's quite nice in serving customers. nothing happened... until, my hair was trimmed, n he wash my hair.. he say my face got "hairlets" n offered to wash for mi.. i laid down there.. he carefully used water to wet my face n use his hands to wash the hair off my face.. wah liao.. the touching.. got mi horny siazz.. was erecting even.. had to control siazz.. den i even imagined him asking which body part i train.. den offer to show him my abs.. den he touch it... wah liao.. i honry rite??

den later, met up frns.. str8 frns.. for nights out. duno.. is hanging out wif str8 better/easier than aj?? or cos, i have nt found true-blue aj frns who can hang out wif mi? since i've not been ... going out wif this group for ages?

wat;s more, as time pass by, i really... dunno wat's my direction in sex n love... i've high sex drive.. n i've the body n looks.. i'm really thinking of selling sex.. but i duno... will it affect my love relation in future? double edged sword..

Friday, April 27, 2007

it's a happy workday for me today :)

i managed to finish 2 jobs at once.. n.. my upperstudy wanna mi update a script. telling mi wat to be put in n updated, wanting mi to do n send script for running. i knw wat she trying to do, n told her it needs 2 hrs to test the script out.

she den got agitated/irritated, saying it's merely adding in 2 lines of codes. why will it take so long. den i told her, it looks like jus adding in 2 lines of codes, but in fact, a lot of tests have to be done.. she den say "i thot that, since u wrote the script, u shld knw it well, n take a shorter time to do. since it will take u 2 hrs, i'll do it instead..."

i told her i'm ok, since she feels it urgent..

a while later, she finished updating, n told mi to check it.. putting on a smug look, that says she's fast, n confident it worksssss. i took a look, n immediately found places that can be improved.. in end, she tested tested until she ask mi to improve the script over the weekend... lol...

Sunday, April 22, 2007

http://www.friendster.com/luvktv

duno if this is an attempt to closer seek a new lease of life... anyone reading this, if u wanna, add mi in friendster... http://www.friendster.com/luvktv

Thursday, April 19, 2007

i have another fantasy... a guy.. a sales man.. knocking on ur door, wanting to promote some stuff.. u open the door.. n welcome him in..
have i been outta love for 2 long? or i've not enjoyed myself wif someone for a long time?






cos today... i met a frn for dinner.. in the lau pa sat foodcourt, beside the jap/korean cuisine stall, got a stall selling.. some chn food (lol, i din .. really din notice the food it selling).. tis stall.. at first, i saw a fair skinned china guy manning the stall.. ok loh..

den i ordered my jap food n sat near there.. lil did i expect tat.. when i turned around to check out the stall for its products, got a.. maybe another china guy manning the stall. a bit beng looking.. the hair centre parting, kinda broad shoulder (medium size guy), wif an ok looking face.. no specs. i saw him.

som time later ,i turned again n saw him doing the cashier. cant see his face, but recog his shirt color n pattern. ahahha... the centre spot, whcih is the bridge between the 2 sides of the chest (wow, descriptive huh) was full of sweat siazz.. i forgot how many times i turned around.. few times saw him standing there n saw the spot. 1 time, he walked to other side of stall to prep something, n i turned around, he noticed it, looked up, we exchanged looks, he looked down again.. n.. the next thing i knw, no 1's manning the stall...

wahhaha./.. nw i thinking.. n really a DARING thot.. n drama?:
shld i.. approach the stall.. try to strike a chat wif him while ordering (muz b no 1 queueing).. den pass him my name card (shld i? or jus contact number? umm.. name card more.. better.. will nt sound so cheapo.. n feel more sincere oso.. although i may find it stupid much later) tell him if he need a chat or help, jus contact mi.. when he contact mi, i'll still help.. n ... hehehe...

although wat i have in mind, is i pay him maybe 100$ for a 2-hr session wif him.. but tis 1 how to say?? it's despo weird n psycho sounding if i make it so obvious..

==================

den after my class, i went to take the bus. n.. was i LUCKY...

i walked to the end of the bendy bus, got space at the back seat, n 1 end is a medium size guy oso, wearing office attire (not suit), sitting there... the way he sit, his shirt pressing onto his chest, shows not a total flat chest, n nt a muscle chest oso.. flabby.. oso dun thin so.. at least got a shape.. or size or volume :P.. looks is ok. when i abt tot take the seat, his legs were wide apart, n the buldge in his pants looks amazing lol.. i excused myself to him, so tat he narrow his leg.. n i sat beside him.. but i can feel tat he's avoiding body contact though.. from time to time, i will look to the side, n indirectly look at him.. lol..

den a while later, he's dozed off.. the bus is crowded.. i look to his side again.. n again.. n again.. den i decided to .. look deeper.. i looked at him, from head to tummy.. as though i'm checking on my frn who's sleeping.. i cn oni say: nice chest.. but i din do anything else.. den he abt to alight.. i made way for him.. n as he made his way out. he looked back, n i look at him.. seems like he's trying to determine if i'm looking at him..

infatuation? maybe.. maybe i really lack/long/yearn for more.. dunno..

but i thot abt it.. if i'm interested in someone, as a life partner, i'll set a rule, not to have sex wif him for a yr.. sigh.. thinking abt tis restriction..

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

somtimes.. a temp change in the normal routine is a good thing :)

this morning, on my way to work, saw kenny again siazz.. wearing shades.. it makes mi wonder, if he's really working anot.. but 2 bad, tdy the train really too cramped ,he cant board.. but i wonder.. if he really boarded, will i.. or shld i go up n chat wif him? will i scare him off?

to him, i'm a stranger who admire him during his PSS2 days... stranger.

if a stranger.. often goes up.. he may feel awkward.. lol...

oh.. tdy, i again din read papers.. n haha.. really find it a nice thing. cos, if it's crampy, the commuters usually squeeze more.. n beside mi is a .. wide sized dude... haha.. nothign much, really.

as for the change of routine, the company bus for time slot A din arrive. so waited for slot b bus. hehe.. after alighting form the bus, n entered the lobby, i den realise my department's beng IA student is there signing in siazz.. n he's standing at a corner where i def'ly pass by.. lol.. so i pass by n looked at him hwahaha...

den later, i went up to my desk.. n went to fill my mug.. n i bumped into him again!!! cool...

Monday, April 16, 2007

sigh.. i'm really a honry dude...

u know.. few days back, a usual work day, in normal office wear, i waited for the lift to bring mi downstairs. den the lift came.. inside got a bicycle n a lady in office wear standing beside. i stood in, closed door, n peeped in.. a boy is holding on to the bicycle. such a posture tat makes a 3rd of the lift space unusable. i had thot of jus telling mi to stand inside the next time.. so tat more ppl can come in.. but nah.. it's early morn.. y bother..

den, the lift touched down. the lift door opened. i went out, n pressed the lift button, so tat the door stay open. the boy walked out wif the bike, look at mi shyly n thanked mi. i was in "morn rush" mood, n din bother to smile as gesture of "u r welcome", n jus went off..

den, jus maybe today, same thing happen again. morn rush hr.. inside life got 1 uncle n 1 auntie. seem unrelated. when the lift touched down, i thinking.. shld i oso press the lift button?? my next response is, never mind, jus go to work..

lol..is it really 'cos tat person was a boy, tat's why i volunteered to keep the door open for him???

Friday, April 13, 2007

i saw PSS2 guy.. guess who??

i wore my new specs today.. those weirdly shaped/designed type.. cos i knw i can pull it off lol..

den hor, on my way to work.. wah got those sec sch boys crossing street n staring at mi in bewilderment siazz.. of cos, got those beng kiaz look at mi.. n shy away ahahha..

later as i board mrt, ok.. usually i read papers as i stand inside train. tis time, i din. i jus stood inside as normal commuter. den gradually, a guy of my height in front of mi moved back.. n his arm movement from time to time had his elbow touching mi. i was alright.. den.. as the train got more packed, he moved back more.. end up his left shoulder blade sometimes will press onto my left chest lol.. got mi erected siazz.. (using my fist to press onto my left chest nw.. to feel how it felt..) it feels like chest.. felt nopthing like breast of bra lol.. n this guy din look back to see wat/who he pressing onto hahah..

den u knw... later on, i saw a guy board the train at 1 of the stn.. it's KENNY LIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw him, i cant believe my eyes siazz!!

when he got in, i was staring in shock!! he look jus like on tv/pic!! jus as cute!! n he's wearing earrings!! he came in, den stood properly, wif his back facing mi.. so i was looking at his back all the time.. quite meaty.. dunno whether its fleshy or meaty.. but he looks every bit of him on tv... n he's of my height!!

i was looking at him siazz!! n was thinking, shld i go up n tok to him, or continue to enjoy the moment.. den i felt i shld tok to him... haah...

i moved forward.. patted his shoulder.. he shifted a bit to make way.. i patted again.. he look back..
me "r u kenny"
he "yes.."
me "r u kenny from pss2?"
he (smiling) "yes"...
n we started a casual conversation.. i think a oouple of gers beside us was peeping even..

wow, really cant believe it... tok to him so near siazz!! n see him smiling rite in front of mi!!! wah liao.. if the train not crowded, i will pass him my namecard, so he rmb mi siazz..

Thursday, April 12, 2007

ytday, wanna blog abt it liao.. but dozed off while thnking how to resolve a prob for asgt.

got a ... cute boy lah.. but dunno wat's cute abt him.. body, face, smile, or action? we met last yr when i still living in rented plc. met in my room of cos.. has q good time together.. i serviced him.. he jus enjoyed.. does tis happen when he is still in exploration stage? once a while, he den ask for my.. shaven pic.. n i jus send to him.. even include my vid of shaving...

gradually he din contact mi anymore, ehh... hey, i did tok abt him a while ago.. rmb the boy who ask mi find buyers for his tix?? it's him..

den jus ytday, he sms mi.. in morn 9am, asking if i can help him login to frnster, but promise nt to login his acct or read his msg anymore... i replied, "frnster?? ok, but once u change pwd, i cant login liao mah.. but ok, i promise"...

den no reply from him.. til 12+.. my lunch break.. he called mi asking mi help.. dun wan say wat kinda help.. cos i lunch, he say he call mi back later..

den 3+.. he called mi.. tis time, requesting mi help him do soemthing.. he feels it' urgent.. so i tried my very best to help him.. even ask my colleague if they knw of any better way.

after helping him.. i begin to think y he ask mi help.. n judgin from wat he wan mi help in (delete bookmarks to guy frns n make frns' requests to guy frns, i somehwo feel tat he's still in the aj world.. although his frns list a lot still showing gers. he's in camp when he called. he logged in.. maybe a while back, saved his login details into browser.. so he scared ppl will log in n see.

i thinking, he can always call his other frns to help.. but do they knw wat kind of make frns' requessts he got in frnster? he asked mi to help.. m i the oni aj frn he got? somehow he stil seems very closetted...

i m jus glad he ask mi to help loh :) show he still rmb mi.. n din delete my number.. hehehe...

Friday, April 06, 2007

my dream boy

shld i call him my dream boy? every day when i go to work, i see him at the busstop.. dashing, down-2-earth type, not a t-shirt-n-jeans dress code, innocent looking. everyday, when i pass by the busstop, i always keep a lookout for him. if i see him, i feel... heavenly, n satisfied. if i dun, i ask "where is he..."

been seeing him at the busstop for... half a yr i think.. n i think i knw which institution he heading to, from the bus he takes.

for a mth or 2, i somehow din manage to see him at all.. i cna oni guess 2 things:

1) he's graduated

2) he's on IA and wun b there for soem time..

den on wed, he's back again!! n soemhow, when i saw him n his eyes met mine, i seem to sense tat, he knw i'm always "peeping" at him..


pc nerds

are there still pc nerds around?

in the past, at least before y2k, if there are kids who always stick to their computers n live wif it for their lives, they're considered and called "computer nerds", the nerdy group. but wif the uprising of their status, like winning games at national n international competitions and earning their keep by playing n competing in computer games, and making a name for themselves, does this term of fit them??

cos i saw a guy.. a teenager.. wearing a T whcih says "maple story" at the back. i immediately thot: another computer nerd. but i confronted myself.

shld this term still b used on them??

they like computer games, and they earn a living while indulging in their likings. this is the most ideal job for any1, rite? doing something u like, n making a living outta it. they're pursuing their dreams.. they shld b the envy of many..

now, who says, playing computer games has no future.. these folks have proved this statement wrong. even in music (ye, i like playing wif music, playing as in having fun wif it, no formal trg, so i'm not referring to those playing mozart scores), ppl have made a name for themselves, and living a proper live.

the phrase "every dog has its day" is becoming real... lol..

so when's my day coming??!?!


fortune telling

yrs ago, someone read my palm n predicted my.. (near) future.. i duno if tat takes into acct my whole life, or during tat pt of time of predicament.. cos nw, i see a whole new meaning in my life... no longer tat impetuous kid..


ahaha.. went gym today again. long time nvr go siazz.. speaking of the gym, it got 1 steamrm inside. somehow, if i go steamrm in a certain time slot, inside will have 1 ah-peh. tis ahpeh act in a funny way. ppl usually go in wrapped wif towel. he go in in trunks. - i can accept it as his pref. but inside the rm, ok the rm is a square. 1 side is total wall. 1 side has the entrance. other 2 sides got benches for sitting.

tis ahpeh, always stand at the door there, facing bench1, n beside the bench2.. n start doing pushups, stretching n situps. i dunno the reason.. perhaps he wanna sweat it out. but his angle is darn.. funy or suspicious.. i see it as suspicious. at his angle, ppl sitting at bench1 in towels sure expose themselves to his eyes 1. at bench2 oso no diff. esp he's able to every1 sitting at the bench. if inside oni got him, ok, he can do watever he wanna.. but if someone's inside, shldn't he b a bit more normal, n sit at the bench?

a few times, he's inside. i find him suspicious.. but i.. dunno wat to do. i even avoided tat time slot. so qiao, tdy he there again.. in same style. i go in, tell myself, if i cant tahan, i will jus go elsewhere.. true enuff, 1 min later, i went to bathe.. but i wanna go in again.. i waited 15 mins. n went in. kauzz.. he still there. tis time, i sit on bench as usual... but i really discomfy.

den, i simply changed my sitting side, so tat, we r both looking into the same direction. he seem very surprised.. i felt better at tis angle.. n loosened up my towel. at the same time, he got up, n prostrated on the other bench. moments later, he went off...

wah liaozz... i thin i really muz chang emy time slot siazz..

den.. i went to lunch at the usual food stall. haha,, interesting chat there..

i ordered my food.. n abt to pay, when the owner suddenly uttered "treat u to a drink".. i thot he say mi. den i turned around n saw his helper. i poked fun at him, saying i thot he wanna treat mi to drink.. he dunno wat to say.. haha, den, i din see his bro, n asked abt him. jus b4 he answered, his bro suddenly stood in front of mi.. haha, i was stunned siazz!! den i exclaimed to the owner "luckily i din say anything yet". the owner was simply luffing.. n cant even shout my drink order.. oni say it out... ahhaha...

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

thes days, always been posting either abt my thots, life, or work... cos no time to think of wild stuff siazz... mostly when use pc, either for work or studies.. rarely got time for oneself..

so, it's abt work again..hehe.. ytday, was discussing soemthing wif my upperstudy.. knw wat, she lost to mi, but she wanna.. preserve her dignity, so she came up wif funny reasons to support her stand..

u see, in unix systems, when we copy files wif some param, the new file will always ahve the same info as the old 1, including modified date. my upperstudy say, after copying, append the date of modification to either file, so tat we can keep track of when the file was modified. but lately, i dun see the pt.

since, when we copy the file, even the mod date oso same, y do we need to append the date of mod? the file's mod date is already there. y still need to append it to the name of the file? might as well append the date of copying to the name.

upperstudy den argued "wat if someone modifies THAT file".. i hhahah.. at a loss of words.. but no pt arguing further.. since she is adamnant on her ideas..

den today, another thing.. i understand its her good-willed intentions.. but it was like.. very "i rule the app, i knw wat i'm doing" kinda style.. cos she modified a script tat will clear the system cache, but.. she din realise tat tis clearing of cache, affects debugging siazz..

umm... seems like, i'm gaining more n more knowledge wahhaha..

Saturday, March 31, 2007

lol.. is studying better or working?

i prefer studying, if there's no exams to test our knowledge..

I prefer working, cos we apply what we know/understand to make things work our way.

What's exasperating is that, for assignments, when the questions are clear enough, and you need to post questions and wait infinitely for an answer..

premonition

do u call tis premonition? or premonition is supposed to mean visually? umm, i jus check dic, n it simply means:

--------------

pre·mo·ni·tion (prē'mə-nĭsh'ən, prěm'ə-) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A presentiment of the future; a foreboding.
2. A warning in advance; a forewarning.
--------------

ytday, abt .. in the late noon or late evening period, my left eye twitched. i din bother wat it could mean. i even forgot all abt it. den, tat nite, 1 guy call mi up to discuss abt our appt today.

everything was fine, until he mentioned.. or "confessed" tat oni 1 guy wil b there for photoshoot, although he told mi will b 2-3 guys. i was stunned.. but well, i still suggested the time n the attire he shld bring along for the models. den came the unwanted questions:

1) he asked mi wat attire he himself shld bring.. i was again stunned.. i was not prep to do for him yet.. it's meant as a sexy n turn on shots for the models.. n he wanna shoot for him too?

2) i told him we may need to go hotel81 to make some bed shots. den he suddenly asked whether we shld mit in town directly, or he will fetch mi first.. cos his intention was to go hotel first n den go shots.

i was really stunned.. so many new info dropping onto mi like a bomb. n i had asked him to call mi 1 day earlier so we can sort out such things. but he chose to call mi 12 hrs jus b4 we met. and the info is so diff from wat we originally agreed upon.

i was really at a loss of words.. i told him to discuss on msn.. he came online and sent mi 3 msgs in a row. i din reply. cos his 2nd line is oredi "so wat plc u have in mind?"

i was thinking, wah liao, originally was 2-3 models, we can easily find a number of plc to shoot diff images n background. but nw, wif oni 1 model, have to find specific areas tat suit his particular image. n he wan mi think of the plc at tat instance?? den he called mi, asking y i din reply.. he den went on to complain tat he dun enjoy waiting for decisions.. n started to indirectly pin all the blame onto mi..

i think he hit my nail.. i immediately retaliated, leaving little or no room for him to defend. in the end, he said, "alright, i dun disturb u liao".

well, wat can i say... up to him.. so tis morning, i sms him telling him to confirm if he's on tmr (sunday) by today evening 5pm.

i bring tis up, cos my left eye twitched again. tis time, i really think, once again, he'll call mi near bed time.. n i need to prep myself for it..
wahahah... can u imagine?

an old frn of mine, suggested tat i make a vid of myself having sex wif a call boy.. hwahaha... n... in the past i def'ly reject.. but tis time, i gladly accepted it, provided the boy is.. of my requirements..

haha, when it's decided, i pestered my boss lemme take leave tat day.. wah, so much til my boss.. seem to suspect i planning to leave the company.. cos, at the end of 2nd appraisal tat day, she asked if i intend to leave the company when the proj is successful. i think she oso knw she need to specifically state wat she's asking, if nt, i wun get her point of "leaving company, not jus proj/team/department". but i told her i wun leave, unless company ask mi to.. she den said "good, keep it up!".

ok.. back to teh leave thing. i went over to this frn plc, n lok how he set thigns up.. yes.. u may have guessed it.. pin hole cam, air-con, curtains, towels. i prep the condoms n lub myself. we chatted a bit.. hehe, long time nvr meet liao, oso dunno wat to chat..

the boy finally came.. i led him into the room.. i felt so NERVOUS DARN! i knw i wanna do things, but i jus din dare! while he's massaging mi, i even thot of "lick here/there a bit, den jus give him the money". but later on, as i calmed down, i told myself to get my money's worth.. dun b afraid to do wat i wanna do to him.. n kept telling this to myself lol.. i finally relaxed more...

but hor.. soemhow i think i'm getting scheming.. as i progress in age n understand more abt human behaviour.. cos.. for tis boy, i knw the positioning of the cam.. n i wan to capture how his body looks like.. den halfway thru, i got him to stand by the bed. in case he wonder why stand at such angle, i pretended to wanna oral him.. den later i got up n stood behind him.. nw, he's the oni person in the cam.. hahah..

n i am caressing his chest from the back..

surprisingly... when i was jerking him off, he actually shot pretty far.. he himself was stunned n commented "very far".. he oso said he jo the day before oredi.. i think it's cos i blif in mutual enjoyment, not jus "i paid for it, so i have to make sure i enjoy".. but wat's the pt, if u enjoy, butthe other person feels nothing? thus, conclusion: he enjoyed it.

interesting quotes from him:
1) ur tool too big for mi

2) for oral, oso use condom

he's a thai.. i not sure if he's gay anot.. but well.. it seems a fast way to earn quick bucks..

=================

anyway, sometmies it feels so good to have frns not to lie to u.. anythign, be it how they feel towards u, how they intend to do thigns.. unless it will embarass them a lot.. but if its mere human reaction or response, why be shy.. abt it.. oni to b found out later..

another eg of my scheming side:

got a guy who wanna mi take photo for his models (if it supermodel, i def'ly no chance.. so u knwo). when he got to my plc n we discussed the shots, i oredi had in mind, how to manage to touch his body.. at the end of the discussion, i told him i have pictures of a guy who i took photos for, got him to come my hse.. he saw the pix, n wanna take some for himself oso.. den i ask him to lift up his shirt.. he declined, cos he's shy (i say 1, he say his body all fats).. but i told him sooner or later, i still see his body mah..

so he lifted it up.. to reveal stomach.. i was abt to lift up more, den he auto lift up to show his chest.. i turned him to face the light.. den... use my left thumb to touch his nipples, n moved to the right 1.. he instantly moved back n luff it off.. mi too lol..

Thursday, March 29, 2007

appraisal for the past yr is here..

did part 1 of 2 appraisal wif my boss and
supervisor. nt sure if this is a good
time to speak up frankly, but i did
take the opportunity to speak frankly
of wat i think of my performance..

it's a review of myself. if i can see
how my person is doing, it means i am
able to improve myself over time and
always trying to improve myself.

but jus b4 part 1 ended, my boss
suddenly ask mi if i have plans to move
on after the proj taken off. i was
quite surprised at tis qn, n i replied
tat if the proj prove to b ok, i'll
gladly move on proudly to other projs.

den.. ytday, she was having a 1-1 chat
wif mi.. for part 2 ie.. somehow i feel tat she's oso
flirting wif mi at the same time.. its
oni the 2 of us in the room, and once
in a while, she'll push mi by my arms
so tat i lean to 1 side. i.. cant
imagine her doing tis to other staff..
n we oso chatted abt feedback, n she
noted tat i'm able to suggest new ways
of doing things. n tat, i am
competent technically, but lacking the
proper chance to prove myself..

oso tok about how i feel abt other
staff. shared my thots of them.
somehow she seems to recognise my
ability to analyse ppl's capabilities.
she even waited for mi to take cab wif
her.

but nt so obvious lah.. cos after part
2, she asked if i going home, as she
was. i said i wil go back about 30
mins later.. she say ok.. but din say
she wait for mi.

den, when my stuff is settled, i
called her desk, but she nt around. i
thot she went off oredi.. den later,
she came to mi again, n i told her
i'll b going back, she den asked mi to
wait a while for her..

hahaha.. so qiao, the cab we took..
the driver is.. of cos uncle.. he was
playing nostalgia numbers by Tsai Chin.

chatted wif him on her old songs.

along the way, my boss still chatted
wif mi abt happenings at work.. she's
either trying to gain ground feedback
or she sees tat i'm able to analyse
ppl's capabilities..

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

i scored 1 pt @ work

lol.. i'm still in office, but i MUZ blog about it!!

there's a long standing issue abt the display of some data not proper. my upperstudy keep asking mi to chk the script, cos theer shld b a command somewhere which added in an extra tag.

for some tiem already, i've been trying to figure out the codes, thinking why it is not functioning properly. so tiring.. den tis morning, boss called for a meeting. during this meeting, this prob was raised up. i commented it's a display prob, not a function issue. but upperstudy straight away pointed out that it's been logged, so it must be closed.

my supervisor asked wats the prob abt, upperstudy kept iterating it's a script prob. i mentioned it's oni applying to a document, but she claim it applies to a few others oso.. who knows if she's jus trying to prove her pt anot.. sup ask since other docs are ok, why this problem happen to tis doc? upperstudy say there's an additional if-else condition somehwere.

i broke this discussion, saying we better take a look at the script first n decide. they agreed.. den later.. i delayed my lunch to fix the prob.. i really cant figure out wat's wrong wif the code, esp when the code is not written in my language.

i even cried out to my upperstudy for help siazz.. but i decide to give myself 1 more hr to solve. n... hey, there's some difference in the general data!! i was of cos happy!! i highlighted to upperstudy, n she said, chk other documents to see if got such thing... so i took the time to chk...

later on, i asked my sup for updates again, and highlighted to him tat there's a diff in the data. den he immediately told mi to update the data to the way it shld appear...

i did it... n viola!!! it worked!!! the display is back to normal!!!!

WAHAHAHAHA........
lol.. there are ppl reading my blog rite?

can anyone advise mi on how i shld charge?

cos i've accepted a job on taking photos for ppl, but have yet to set a rate.. cos dunno how to ..hobbyist but turning it into sideline/.. all kinds of pix... clothed, prof, sporty, nudity FOR ppl..

Sunday, March 25, 2007

replying to comments:

"oei..is that post about me? hte last one..lol..anyway...what's so violent about my txt..my eyes were raped...lol..
whatever will be will be.
love ya!


cheerios,
Lesbo. "

whcih post u mean??

=====================

"hint hint ** it cost only RM0.20 to send a sms to singapore from malaysia, and RM0.50 for a MMS.. thats like 8 cents for a SMS and 23 cents for MMS.. international messaging leii...

ahaha... its cheap anyway.. have fun with those guys there :P lucky u... y i 2 years in singapore never come across such things?

Takashi @ Pluboy"

issit? i dunno hwo much he earning there.. when he was washing my hair in singapore, he say he earn < 1k. over there, dunno hwo much.. i dun wish him to send mi sms often lah.. cos to him, we may nt b tat close, but more to can-tok ppl. i send him sms.. to remind him tat i'm here.. den he wun forget got mi in singapore, n hopefully ask mi out when he comes for holiday =D

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

1 night, after wokring, i booked a cab. the driver.. was pretty humorous.. n witty.. clicked well wif him.. medium sized guy.. so click tat.. i undid my office attire's sleeves', n shirt's first 2 buttons (not including the top butt).. haha... evening shift... cab no 4010

Sunday, March 18, 2007

ren ci charity

today is the charity show. will there be many ppl blogging abt it?

mayb i jus join in the crowd.

after so many yrs of fund raising on tv, although i applaud the purpose, but it's been commercialised so greatly that, it no longer is dependent on viewers' contributions. these days, i'll b surprised if call-in donations meet the target. cos, every1 contributes accordign to the call-in volume printed out the tv screen, but in the end, wif the donations from the riches, orgs n sorts, donations never fail to meet the targets. in this case, y shld we, the low-level living beings, donate our hard-earned money? might as well those mid-income folks donate wat they manage to earn? esp those big orgs.. earn big money, every yr break record in revenue.. such orgs, if they donate 5k each, (it's small case for them!) all charity shows round the yr will break records..

i did not donate tis yr. the call-in volume din meet expections, n even fell short by maybe half. but when the total amt raised was revealed, it still manage to mee the target. so.. wat does it say? i'm actualyl more keen to see the acts that were performed.. look at performers' performance, n see how good the hosts were. it's no longer known to mi as "it's time to donate money to them"..

i'm a BAD egg

bad egg

sigh.. nw i kinda understand why some rapists target their relatives' young.

ytday, all day long, i been running around, buying things for mi n my cute cousin. u knw, i havent had anythign to eat from 10 - 4pm.. had bfast at 9 for my gym. den, during tat 6 hr period, i was famished!

but sometimes, being famished has a reward... or rewards :) while i waiting for a bus, a slightly beng but decent guy waiting at the busstop i went to lol.. yes, my definition for bengs is more descriptive than most ppl.. cos, those tat i like, i fidn them cute or decent. but to others, it's simply BENG (rowdy or attitude-ly appearance).

den later... i bought lunch to my cousin's place to eat. i shared wif them my nugg's meal. haha.. cousin boy is courteous. he knws tat's my lunch, and dun dare touch. cousin ger jus eat. i was later in his room, fixing his comptuer thigns. lol, i actuallly thot we will be alone, but my uncle's there.

i had wanna.. go topless n stay in the room.. n see how he reacts.. nothign sexual, but jus to see how he react.. since uncle around, den it din take place.

but the "bad egg" thot came... during dinner.. my aunt suggested tat since i so close to them, i sometimes can take them to swimming.. den my thinking was:

gosh.. if go swim, den i can see him swimming... lol. n perhaps bath him.. lol.. but i have to ensure tat, nothign happens AT ALL..


===================

oh ya, rmb.. some time back, i mentioned tat my pal visually molested me? lol.. his response to tat is so violent n aggressive tat, he sms'ed mi 3.03am 1 day, his reply. lol... sms siazz.. nt blogging siazz!!

=================

1 more thing

last night, my sis went out at 11+pm. rushign out, rather. she asked mi for extra cash, n hinted tat she needed mi to open door for her when she came back. i told her, i'll slp at abt 2+.

den she went out.. i felt sleepy at 1+.. but made myself stay up to wait for her.. scared tat she dun have keys to come back. n scared she may have some troubles.. but at 2+, she's nt back yet.. so i took a nap.. den 5+, nt back oso.. i decided i'll jus head for bed.

next morn, i woke up to find her at home oredi.

come to think of it, since when have i become so worried for a family member? she shld b more street-wise than mi, but yes, her image for tat night was pretty hot for such night outing. i dun need to worry so much. but to think i even stayed up to wait for her... next morn, i was thinking, if i'm the one going out, even if the person is asleep, i can still give a call to open door.. n there's always the mobile, shld anythign happen.. why shld i stay up so late??

umm... a penny for my thots.


my oz buddy

he's now going thru a decision making stage.. it depends solely on him to come to a decision, and it's ppl around him, ppl who know his nature, his person/character thru years of thick and thin happenings, ppl who knw his situation.. who are able to advise him on how he can arrive at a decision. it's really tough.. even giving him advice, is tuff. our advice can cost his happiness, or provide him a life-long bliss. it's not easy to put my/ourselves in his shoes.

cos the environment is diff, but we knw his situation. and can feel what he's going through. his happiness is in our hands.. especially, when such gay-partnership has not a bond tat ties both parties together...

Friday, March 16, 2007

personal: EXCITED; work: SIANZ

wahhaha... does the topic sound contradicting?

or real clear cut?

well. today morning.. tat is 15 mar morning, i alighted from my train, n walking towards the escalator.. n u knw wat??!?!? yesterday i blogged abt the voluntary guy rite? n today, i saw him as i walked to the escalator!!!!!!!!! wah liao!!!

hehe, his bright coloured top grabbed my attention, den i look at his face... he looks familiar.. i think he noticed my gaze, n looked slightly away to block any cruising radar.. den i realised, he's tat voluntary guy!!!!!!!! very likely!!!!!!! i got so excited (strike toto mood?? lol more like, meeting a celebrity u fancy on the street who u nvr believe u had such luck) tat i almost wanna msg him to ask if he's wearing tat color top. but... i held on to myself... n until i'm stable, waiting for company bus, den i msg him..

yes, he's wearing tat color top!!

he ask mi like "u saw mi?", i replied "r u taking towards tat dir?"

he reply "r u on tat train oso?" i replied "haha, enjoy ur day"..

so interesting!! (umm, yes i knw it's jus nothign n jus something casual.. casual msg.. but well, when u take a liking to someone, n tat someone responds to u, u sure b excited 1 siazz.. dun luff at mi)

we chatted a while more via sms.. n den (oh, he added mi to msn a couple days back) in office, he msn'ed mi oso!!! wah liao.. n we chatted a fair bit.. gave him my bloggie.. n he.. heheh, was deciding if he shld ask for the "erotic pic" series i put on my msn nick... i told him, can send him from home pc oni.. n he oso saw my post abt him siazz.. lol.. although... it seems strange that some thots r better blogged down, than to say out, wat's the diff when he comes to read ur blog?

n he still rmb abt the overdue interview :).. i heard his radio interview b4.. he got a man deep voice.. but a frn told mi, he can reach screeching stage oso when he's totally loose hahaha...

==============

work stuff.. kinda sianz.. cos.. my sup ask mi to work on searching feature. i worked hard on it, n got it up. took 3 days. nex thign i knw, we realised it's not gonna work as some parts need fine tuning. end up, i did additional research into searchign feature.. n i think i need to re-do certain parts.. gosh..

Monday, March 12, 2007

i am VERY HAPPY!!!

I'm really happy.. due to 2 things:

on sunday, .. umm ok.. got tis guy from a voluntary organisation tat spreads awareness on AIDS. i saw his profile somehow n msg him to take care.

n i oso.. volunteered to help out if they need mi. so i emailed him my contact, openly expressed my interest in him. den he replied, wif hints hehe.. dne later, we supposed to mit up for a chat session (to know more abt my interest area for voluntary work). but he din confirm anything. n i jus.. let it pass.

THEN, today, he sms mi!!! sms to inform abt an upcoming event!! i thanked him, n asked y nt sent by email.. he reply, will sms if got no. n apologised for missing out on the appt agreed earlier. lol.. i replied "it's ok" n gave him my msn contact... ya, he haven add mi yet..

den 2nd thing, rmb abt the hair stylist i mentioned?? tat cute boy?? he left salon in dec last yr, but i got his no liao. he's msia.. dunno where he is nw.. shld still b there.

after getting his no, i sms him once. he reply wif greetings.

den.. from timet o time i oso sms him morn greetz. for 3 mths. he nvr respond at all. it's ok lah, cos he's msian, i dunno the sms charge there, mayb 2 ex for overseas send. BUT, today, he sms mi a greet msg oso!!!!!!!!! i felt so excited!!!

sigh.. pining to see him..

Sunday, March 11, 2007

again, i fell into the trap of lust...

u knw... today went bfast wif my family... den.. there, at a corner, got a hunky looking guy n tanned soem more selling titbits stuff wif his.. wife i think. wah liao.. i asked my family go there.. n i pick 3 packs of tits, my sis 1 pack... he thanked us for buying.. nw i see how many packs liao, i oso regret lol... LUST,...
some gossips for work..

few days ago, my upperstudy wanna mi find bugs in her program. wan mi to devise a test script to dig bugs out. i thot it's ok, since we wanna make sure everything working fine.

i stayed in office during lunch, to write out the script, but sensing it will take days to devise it, n the priority is to get bugs, i decided to directly check out the bugs. writing the test script takes time to think of the scenarios. n most of the time, scenarios r best thot of, when u do it urself, so tat it can lead to other scenarios.

so i started the bug finding.. BUT while doing it, i ask upperstudy something, n she said "no, tat's nt wat i wan.. if u dun wan... nvm, i write the script myself". den i ask, "u still wan mi find bugs?", she reply "nvm, it's ok, u carry on ur work".

i felt my half hr work wasted siazz.. i decided to save my work..

n, on friday, she requested mi help her find bugs!! saying she dun have time to write script.. haha.. luckily i din delete it!!
gym yesterday

for my gym routine, i din work out for 1 wk.. yesterday, i went again, SO tiring. kept my eyes on 1 guy wif good face n tone body.. i cant detect if he PLU lah. saw him do stretching lol..

n the interesting thing is, at the steamrm, i went in, n found 1 guy oredi inside. i den sat down there n spread open my towel, coverin oni the vital parts. tat guy kept turning around, n i noticed it. after a while, he got up, walked around a bit, n went out.

secs later, he's back... walking ard, n finally sat down.. but he's peeping at mi..

haha.. the room was set to 70 deg, super nice feeling! sweatingall over.. but felt real gd. but i knw i need to cool my body down again.. i went out.. rinsed wif shower, n go back to steam rm. at tis time, the guy jus came out.. he saw mi approaching n gave a 2nd look to mi. a while later, he's in the room again, tis time, really looking at mi. he was almost prepared to come my side...

den, at tis pt of time, another guy came in... n the first guy.. panicked, stayed a while more, n left... lol.. yes, he's crusing mi ;)

===========


usually.. or maybe when i first started gym, swimming n steamrm quite shiok.. can get exciting at times (but no action, ok) .. so when i bathe, i tend to jo liao. den these days, become jus normal process.. i seem to be following the process nw.. i think i shld cut it.. not really need to jo after gym session..

Saturday, March 10, 2007

i know i got lotsa thinsg to blog.. but cant remember exactly wat..

umm.. b4 i met up my buddy, i met up wif a group of frns for ktv.. i org 1. got a 2-3 yrs no meet frn, a kiddy frn who likes to sing, a study mate (female), n my.. lost-chemistry pal.

ya, quite rojak in the combo i knw.. but.. oni they reply my sms mah.. i met up the "no meet" frn.. when i first met him yrs back, he was still a simple minded guy. but nw, he's past ns n studying in ntu liao. n he's not tat simple-thinking anymore.. was surprised to see the change in him, physically n facially lol...

but nt bad lah.. the crowd hit off quit alright... no cold scene. n had lotsa fun in ktv room.. n we even reached climax during some parts siazz... for mi, i challenged myself to a high pitch song, the rock ver of "1 nite in beijing". the falsetto part is said to kill many voices, meaning, it usually is th last song of the day. but for mi, it's a song to test my vocal range. i can reach pretty high lol.. but scream is not my forte.. umm Mariah carey's trademark "whale calling".. i somehow can manage 2... power huh?

din not have so much fun for long timeliao.. when i went wif my gal-pal mentioned above (tat no-chem 1) long time back, we were more to singing n chatting, n the fun was between us.. nw tat more ppl join, more fun in the making!!

===========

gosh... i jus watched a SEVERE sm vid.. it's really.. oh-my-gawd.. i oni into slight sm.. taking advantage of ppl when they're helpless... but this vid is much more.. wah liao... if the model is not good looking, i wun get it siazz.. i like the first few scenes.. but pity the model siazz... i can feel his pain.. sigh, as i watched ,i even thot: if i knw a frn is gonna do these, i'd rather buy back his dignity for him, instead of him losing it for that money..

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

a quote from IMDB about Jennifer Hudson..

"In a recent interview, I was asked how I reconciled being a Christian with performing at events for my gay fans. I find it upsetting that some folks equate being a Christian with being intolerant of gay people. That may, unfortunately, be true for some, but it is not true for me. I have talked often of my love and support of the gay community. I have said again and again that it was the gay community that supported me long before and long after American Idol, and kept me working and motivated. It is the gay community that celebrated my voice and my size and my personality long before Dreamgirls. Yes, I was raised Baptist. Yes, I was taught that the Bible has certain views on homosexuality. The Bible also teaches us not to judge. It teaches us to love one another as God loves us all. I love my sister, my two best friends and my director dearly. They happen to be gay. So what? While some search for controversy, I hope that my friends and fans who know me, know where I stand."
call mi stupid or anything./..

watching a recorded ep of "firefly's dream". a guy was caught red-handed, cheating on a schger. she returned home, n broke down. her mum tried consoling her.

it reminds mi of my past... not sure if i blogged abt it. a guy mesmerised mi. we went out for a wk. after tat, we broke up. i went home n stared into blank. my mum, den said, if u got any prob, jus say out.. dun keep inside.. it's really touching..

but then, if parents are more open minded, i could really have told her abt my probs.. instead of relying on myself, n attempting suicide..

actually, i oso wonder, if i din commit suicide, cos i'm scaredy, or i sudenly din feel the worth to die, or something spiritual was pulling mi back.. i dunno.. cos until nw, i duno wat stopped mi. i oni rmb, i wanna jump onto the road just as a car is approaching. but suddenly, a voice in my head shouted, "NO! i dun want to die!"...

==========

anyway, that was the past. in the ep, oso got a scene.. a beng jus finished his shower and walked out in his pants oni. haah... the funny thing is, i din feel like snapping him. not no body or too fat, but jus din feel anything for him.. not beng looking enuff? hehe.. maybe..

Monday, March 05, 2007

had a wonderful session of catching up wif my old time frn... hwahah.. old time..

it's really enjoyable man!! we mit once a while, exchange our ideas n wits.. really enjoyable... good buddy :)

n ppl.. who have a rounded figure really look much better after they slim down.. nah, not toking abt my buddy.. other than his slimmer waist, every bit of him did not change. physically.

i am toking abt his kid bro. dun worry, no interest in him.. or.. not yet? :P anyway, his bro looks better after his jogging regime. slimmed down n looks of a better size. not a big size person anymore. oh.. watching how they bicker really envies urs truly.. my buddy keep putting his kid down, n the poor kid had to fend for himself.

n now den i realise how loud some locally produced Ts can b!! ahah, it's really for the kids born after the 90s! daring to say wat's on ur mind, daring to challenge, n daring to b wat u r, and daring to project an image thats truly u..

i thot "miso honi", "jus say no to (ass) crack", and "you know you want it" are very loud.. gosh, dinno there were "everyone loves an asian boy" "dun tell mi u know my boss" "mensuck" "pls tell ur pants it is not polite to point".. i had a good luff man!

===============

luckily, i took leave on the next day.. so tat no need to work so hard.. n true enuff, i got a sore throat lol.. from excess drinking (i din get drunk though, jus tipsy).. i dun think junk food got me down. i had 2 glasses of vodka lemonade n 1 hoe-garden beer.. whooooahh...burning...

haha.. after drinking a bit, i even felt my nipples erecting siazz.. so darn honry.

n now, i'm home.. doing some work.. my leave is just to let mi take a break, as i knw i surely go crazy last night.. n the hell i did.. hwaaha... i was even visually molested by my buddy... sobzz...

hahaha... when i was tryin some new tops, i signalled which rm i was in, so tat he can find mi. the room is covered only by a curtain. n knw wat, he came over, pull the curtain! wahaha... n said "wat a turn off".. i responded "i dun have to turn u on".

Sunday, March 04, 2007

hahah... do gays really have a standard dress code?

it seems like, gays r more inclined to wearing singlets when they have trained their muscles well.. to attract eyes... n whenver guys wif broad shoulders appear in singlets, it's high chance they r..