i think he may read it in time to come. but jus wnana voice out loh. i know it happened to mi in the past, n haha, i can empathise how those frns felt back then. supposed to go sitex tis fri. but on thur, he told mi his bf coming, so cant meet mi for sitex, n they going to the veh exhibition. they going sitex another day. den i say, maybe i go along wif u guys? he reply, "u wnana b light bulb meh?". i was stunned.
anyway, he later msg mi that his bf is not coming, so he wanna go wif mi again to sitex. i told this to jnr. know wat she say? minus the 2nd para, she say "den dun go out wif him lah!". ahah, not a listener :) den i was calling my mentor agent, den trying to tell her my predicament. but she din listen at all, simply gave wat she thot shld b the reply.
finally, a long time no see guy... or acquaintance called mi, asking if tat day still onzz for sitex visit. he din msg mi at all he's onzz. i had told him when i can reach there though. i din wan go, cos will b a trip there, den i jus visiting oni. but since he wanna buy pc, so imight as well go n help him. umm, 2 yrs back, we had an arg lah. cos mi haha.. had bad attitude back then. den today, we met still. the funny thign is, i was at mrt 705pm. he not arrived yet on his bike. later he called mi, syaing he reached liao, but dunno where he is, cos he seldom take bike. he is at a carpark. den i keep asking his location, like landmark n etc. he say he at some carpark n hall. but haha, cant find him still. later, i finally managed to find my way to his location.
his trademark is tanned skin. we went into the sitex liao. sicne he wanna buy pc, n taking note of the specs oni, i know wat to do. but he... kinda... VERY fascinated by the technology of comptuers, tat he keep asking all those figures n meanings. look at acer, he check out how to use the pc. move the mouse. i ask him to try the keyboard. he bochap. den he say, acer not bad right? i reply "not really, jus the avg". he say wanna call his frn to ask. cannot get thru. den we look at other brands. reach fujitsu there, he tried the system. i ask him whether he like the design anot. he insist he oni focus on the specs. den i explain clearly to him "do u wan to face this model 2 yrs in ur room, or tat model?". he din say anythign.
den 1 infuriating exp. we took the dell pc brochure. got state the specs like "pen 4 processor D" and "pen D pro 550". he try calling another frn to ask abt the specs. he cant get thru.
he exclaimed, no 1 to advise him liao.
i den say "u can ask mi wat"
"but i ask u oredi wat"
"ok, when u buy the pc, u dun need to know wat the 550 means, jus need to see the 'pen 4/D' n the GHZ."
"but there must b a diff mah. nvm, i go ask the staff"
thestaff painstakingly explained the things to him. i was even giggling inside. cos, u wan mi accompany u here, is offer advice n help to decide, or to oni b a vase?? so tat someone u like is wif u?? he seems like, his first time to buy pc, so VELI VELI excited n jus wanna buy "best" pc there is. "best" 'cos pc depends on ur needs. dun mean the top notch specs means it's for u. u r oni wasting ur $$ in tis way.
ahha, somehow, i feel tat, i've really controlled my moods. in the past, i sure will flare up, cos "u ask mi along but dun care abt my opinion. when i tell u, u dun blif as well". i'm feeling unhappy inside. coming to tis pt, i rmb the "child of our time". ppl prefer frns who show a smiling/happy/casual face even if they not happy. does it mean we have to b pretentious? 'cos we r hiding our feelings. if we flare up, it's not good.
in a way, he seem like he wanna show tat he can make the decisions n take care of mi, but haha... i think otherwise. n the way he does things, ok, he reading the brochures, n i standing in frotn of him. he den brought it closer to his face. the paper oni 2 cm away from mi. i shunned the paper n moved away. i din say anythign abt these. cos it' so crowdded, n he's focussed on reading the brochures n visitng around.
actually hor, i feel like telling him, i have a dip in comp. he can trust mi. but my guess is that, he dun feel a thing. when i told him abt my plan to buy a digicam, he say he know abt digi cam. but when we at the canon there, he said he had used the top notch cams b4. is he tryin to impress mi?
come to think of everything, am i having high expectatiosn fo frns? erm, i dun think so. more to understanding how diff humans behave n think. yes later he sent mi home on his bike. haha, on the bike, as we on the road, he seem to move his butt nearer to my crotch. to seduce mi? well, i simply shifted my bag from my back to the front. n he oso wanna teach mi how to mount a bike :) i told him i took bikes b4.
i find tat, as my thinking matures n i can think for future, my ability to think n control my EQ increase, i begin to know better why some ppl respond in some ways. i try to make it an amicable meetign n a win-win ending. jus tat, ok, i not good at PR so i tend not to say out some thigns so ppl wun feel threatened or exposed. just tat, if u think something can b done better another way, will u tell that person? or leave him to discover as time goes by?
going to apply for java jobs... hopefully, the company can buy mi over. n yes, i do believe, i've gained lotsa insight n confidence from reading the EQ book. at least i am confident of my skills. n when ppl try to put mi down, i know my abilities n self worth n dun bother fighting back too much. if they seem to have a lot of things to back them up, i will listen to them, but wun reply, unless we have a lot of time. so tat we can discuss. but then, from the tv, it was mentioned that youngsters tend to accept challenges as they are often overwhelmed by their winning instincts. have i grown old?
ahha, back to work stuff. teh fat sup loh. the main sup was chatting wif us, den he joked tat if fat sup owe any1 money, better get back fast. i responded "hey, u owe mi $50". fat sup smiled. den later main sup said "u shld buy us dinner for xmas". i responded "*applause* yeah i support tat". i think the fat sup affected liao. cos later he commented tat i antisocial.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
umm.. have not been updating my blog hor? so, my last update was on 18 nov.
friday, suddenly myboss say i cant take the half day leave on 20dec, cos i oni got 3 days left. i was stunned. den was really wondering wat to do for my half day liao loh..
went to watch harry potter later. watching for the story n magical effect. kinda disappointing, cos they delibrately set the ending to be a suspense: the evil man is coming back. wah liao, thot that was oni the mid of mov. n tis trip, made mi realise a frn of mine, has come staunch xtian. believing the bible to the detail. living by wat the bible tell him to. forcing himself, or persuading n limiting himself to stop thinking abt men, but go for gers.
den sat. my left eye twitched. i was busy preparing my things for the etic, n felt it shld mean i will b late for the tic, ie the shop close lioa. but things were alright lei... i even ate the slice fish noodles. was really fine. went to the shopping mall nearby to check out prices for digi cam, n bluetooth ear piece. hehe, first time to do research siazz.. but felt so bad, tat i let the ppl describe to mi n tlel mi things, later i still go off n dun buy from them. sigh, can see their disappointed look. but i reaslise tat, i am really BIASED against spec'ed guys. n maybe i 2 despo for guys, whichever guys attend to mi at their shops, i find them alright or nice looking. but 1 guy, he's in specs, i immedaitely... dun feel anythign for him. anyway, i decided liao. if the comex price dun meet my tartget i going back there to buy.
den 1 funny exp is, i was shoppping in the mall. went all way to top flr, den walked along those quiet n isolated lanes. den saw some heavy makeup women stand at thei entry fo their shops, calling "shuai ge, wan massage?" liao!!!! i was stunned!!!!!!!!!1 i din dare look!!!!!!!!!!! the first 1 who call mi, i was courteous enuff to smile back n decline. others, i simpyl looked away. i wonder how will i react if they are guys ...ahha...
n during the touring, i really found that, i do like moving n travellign abt. if i'm at a certain plc, i will wanna roam around there. n explore, but if i'm stuck to a table, i prefer ot jus stay there...
den come sunday. my left n right eye twitched. i found that i may not have been given visa at all. n when we checked, really no visa. sianzzz.. do ihave to go down again?!?! the invoice oredi wrote i need etic n visa, but the lady diun give mi?? i had even checked with her how do i check in? she demo tat i jus need to show passport, tat all. den i left. now, got such issues. sianzzz... den hor i got home, n chatted wif a guy from fridae.. another guy. n... hehe, gradually we met up haha. n i had the longest session ever with a so-called new guy... LOL...
monday, had wnana cheat half day mc siazz.. but later seeing how bz we are, i gave up. n somehow i realise how diff their way of solving prob is. we ar putting up xmas tree. they insisted n preferred to make abox to make into a stand for the tree. i will actually prefer turning an existing box into the stand. n surprised n sad n disappointing to say, a frn once again stood mi up for apptmt. when i told him tat, he got defensive n said he din promise to go. well, i den wondered how does it mean by "promise to go". by word of "promise", "agree", "confirmation", "will let u know"?
so i contacted a few otehrs. none is free. ok, anyway, i decided wat i wanna buy liao. canon a520. it's not entirely new, but it's got all thre things i need. movie, pic, usb, good optical soom, at least 4M pixel, affordable price. there really is not a need for mi to buy the "latest model" cos it does not suit my purpose.
n my half day leave kena sabo again. they say boss may not allow half day leave. even unpaid oso cannot. end up may take unoffical time off.
tuesday, met up a fridae guy again. chatted a bit. after work, my boss n mi discussing y we need to keep upgrading. he say "u learn 1 skill or specialise is not enuff. once that thing is outta fad, u r back to low level. like those web designers. best things is to keep on upgrading, learn a bit of everyting, make urself priceless.
i dun agree. by being a person who generally knows everything, but practically know nothing (jack of all trade is master of none) is quite useless. if u know wat u wnana study, go for it. y bother to keep upgrading the paper? unless ur industry is reayll so tuff, tat it realyl require to know bits of everything. but if u have the foresight, u can focus on 1 subject and delve into it.
boss even say, i got my java cert liao. if i really gd enuf, i'll have created an electronic leave clearing form. wah liao, as though challenging my caps??wah liao. when i first heard it, i did think of accepting it n develop such tings. but later i thot: why shld i? he may b either pushing mi to do something for them, or really underestimating my caps for java.
den come wednesday. suddenly, i realise my values is diff from the ppl here. i blif customer is king n we shld b nice n try to help them whenever we can. but they, prefer to b firm n rude if needed. n hor, to tis pt, they still dun agree to let mi take half day unpaid leave. DUNNO Y. push it to mgmt, saying even if sup allow, mgmt may not. but, comeon, if sup say have enuff ppl, n i taking unpaid, y shld mgmt refuse? more to like they dun wanan bother the mgmt liao.. for scared of trouble.
den these days i been trying to find new ways of motivating myself... so sisnazz at work. my ideals not met, objectives not achieved. work is so boring.
thurs. i was toking to user in an understanding tone. den the jnr jus took over n told mi "dun need tok so much to him". ok.. she win. well soemtimes, she's just so direct with her words n bochap ppl's feelings. den the snr likes to sing praises of watevr she like/prefer, n critises watever she dun enjoy. sometimes hor, i realyl fee tat they not my level of communication.
abt the half day leave, i really dunno them. cos, at times, the jnr oso went off 3 hrs prior to KO time, den they ok. anyway, i jus attended antoher seminar for new advisers. i told my office, i going for biz seminar. correct right?! it basically to tell mi more abt wat training n job prospects to expect from the company. n... wah liao, no basic income siazz.......
i kinda draw out my plan liao. but dunno.. how shld i get my family to support mi siazz... tell them, then they later discourage mi again....... ok, i plan to hunt for jobs again. this time for java jobs. i aim to switch jobs by start of 2006 cos my cert is good, n hopefully the new coy can buy mi over. den 3 mths time, i probation dun pass, den i go become adviser. sounds nice?
1 last thing b4 i sleep, dunno y. after the sunday rendevous, i been "forced" by my mind to sleep early... near 12, i wanna doze off liaozz...
friday, suddenly myboss say i cant take the half day leave on 20dec, cos i oni got 3 days left. i was stunned. den was really wondering wat to do for my half day liao loh..
went to watch harry potter later. watching for the story n magical effect. kinda disappointing, cos they delibrately set the ending to be a suspense: the evil man is coming back. wah liao, thot that was oni the mid of mov. n tis trip, made mi realise a frn of mine, has come staunch xtian. believing the bible to the detail. living by wat the bible tell him to. forcing himself, or persuading n limiting himself to stop thinking abt men, but go for gers.
den sat. my left eye twitched. i was busy preparing my things for the etic, n felt it shld mean i will b late for the tic, ie the shop close lioa. but things were alright lei... i even ate the slice fish noodles. was really fine. went to the shopping mall nearby to check out prices for digi cam, n bluetooth ear piece. hehe, first time to do research siazz.. but felt so bad, tat i let the ppl describe to mi n tlel mi things, later i still go off n dun buy from them. sigh, can see their disappointed look. but i reaslise tat, i am really BIASED against spec'ed guys. n maybe i 2 despo for guys, whichever guys attend to mi at their shops, i find them alright or nice looking. but 1 guy, he's in specs, i immedaitely... dun feel anythign for him. anyway, i decided liao. if the comex price dun meet my tartget i going back there to buy.
den 1 funny exp is, i was shoppping in the mall. went all way to top flr, den walked along those quiet n isolated lanes. den saw some heavy makeup women stand at thei entry fo their shops, calling "shuai ge, wan massage?" liao!!!! i was stunned!!!!!!!!!1 i din dare look!!!!!!!!!!! the first 1 who call mi, i was courteous enuff to smile back n decline. others, i simpyl looked away. i wonder how will i react if they are guys ...ahha...
n during the touring, i really found that, i do like moving n travellign abt. if i'm at a certain plc, i will wanna roam around there. n explore, but if i'm stuck to a table, i prefer ot jus stay there...
den come sunday. my left n right eye twitched. i found that i may not have been given visa at all. n when we checked, really no visa. sianzzz.. do ihave to go down again?!?! the invoice oredi wrote i need etic n visa, but the lady diun give mi?? i had even checked with her how do i check in? she demo tat i jus need to show passport, tat all. den i left. now, got such issues. sianzzz... den hor i got home, n chatted wif a guy from fridae.. another guy. n... hehe, gradually we met up haha. n i had the longest session ever with a so-called new guy... LOL...
monday, had wnana cheat half day mc siazz.. but later seeing how bz we are, i gave up. n somehow i realise how diff their way of solving prob is. we ar putting up xmas tree. they insisted n preferred to make abox to make into a stand for the tree. i will actually prefer turning an existing box into the stand. n surprised n sad n disappointing to say, a frn once again stood mi up for apptmt. when i told him tat, he got defensive n said he din promise to go. well, i den wondered how does it mean by "promise to go". by word of "promise", "agree", "confirmation", "will let u know"?
so i contacted a few otehrs. none is free. ok, anyway, i decided wat i wanna buy liao. canon a520. it's not entirely new, but it's got all thre things i need. movie, pic, usb, good optical soom, at least 4M pixel, affordable price. there really is not a need for mi to buy the "latest model" cos it does not suit my purpose.
n my half day leave kena sabo again. they say boss may not allow half day leave. even unpaid oso cannot. end up may take unoffical time off.
tuesday, met up a fridae guy again. chatted a bit. after work, my boss n mi discussing y we need to keep upgrading. he say "u learn 1 skill or specialise is not enuff. once that thing is outta fad, u r back to low level. like those web designers. best things is to keep on upgrading, learn a bit of everyting, make urself priceless.
i dun agree. by being a person who generally knows everything, but practically know nothing (jack of all trade is master of none) is quite useless. if u know wat u wnana study, go for it. y bother to keep upgrading the paper? unless ur industry is reayll so tuff, tat it realyl require to know bits of everything. but if u have the foresight, u can focus on 1 subject and delve into it.
boss even say, i got my java cert liao. if i really gd enuf, i'll have created an electronic leave clearing form. wah liao, as though challenging my caps??wah liao. when i first heard it, i did think of accepting it n develop such tings. but later i thot: why shld i? he may b either pushing mi to do something for them, or really underestimating my caps for java.
den come wednesday. suddenly, i realise my values is diff from the ppl here. i blif customer is king n we shld b nice n try to help them whenever we can. but they, prefer to b firm n rude if needed. n hor, to tis pt, they still dun agree to let mi take half day unpaid leave. DUNNO Y. push it to mgmt, saying even if sup allow, mgmt may not. but, comeon, if sup say have enuff ppl, n i taking unpaid, y shld mgmt refuse? more to like they dun wanan bother the mgmt liao.. for scared of trouble.
den these days i been trying to find new ways of motivating myself... so sisnazz at work. my ideals not met, objectives not achieved. work is so boring.
thurs. i was toking to user in an understanding tone. den the jnr jus took over n told mi "dun need tok so much to him". ok.. she win. well soemtimes, she's just so direct with her words n bochap ppl's feelings. den the snr likes to sing praises of watevr she like/prefer, n critises watever she dun enjoy. sometimes hor, i realyl fee tat they not my level of communication.
abt the half day leave, i really dunno them. cos, at times, the jnr oso went off 3 hrs prior to KO time, den they ok. anyway, i jus attended antoher seminar for new advisers. i told my office, i going for biz seminar. correct right?! it basically to tell mi more abt wat training n job prospects to expect from the company. n... wah liao, no basic income siazz.......
i kinda draw out my plan liao. but dunno.. how shld i get my family to support mi siazz... tell them, then they later discourage mi again....... ok, i plan to hunt for jobs again. this time for java jobs. i aim to switch jobs by start of 2006 cos my cert is good, n hopefully the new coy can buy mi over. den 3 mths time, i probation dun pass, den i go become adviser. sounds nice?
1 last thing b4 i sleep, dunno y. after the sunday rendevous, i been "forced" by my mind to sleep early... near 12, i wanna doze off liaozz...
Saturday, November 19, 2005
he's ku you lun. a singer from taiwan. no great news abt him. seem jus another guy who wanna make it big. WANNA. ht n face got liao, but lack some factors? n duno if he's daring, or trying to win promo, the 2 side pix, he's trying to show 2 female hosts tat she's not wearing briefs at all. by showing tat his ass is visible once he raises his hands?
now this is the picture which is MOST interesting. see the top left? chest has some shape, n tummy is flat. even if not, it's VERY VERY BARELY flabby. err, in praising n admiring his body, have i gone too far?? wif his figure, he sure appeals to a lot of ppl... but if he's gay, will there b an impression he flirts around?or will he not? if str8, will he use his body shape (contours?) to his advantage as well? dunno. top rite. can see his muscles loh. even at his age. COOL. n dunno if the cam man purposely teach him how to block certain body parts to be seen. sexy at his age. RIGHT?!? nice 1.
this is his sexy scene. in a previous competition phase, he was wearing some warrior costume n his good bod/fig was... realised. this phase, a competitor designed such a costume for him mainly to oso showoff his good body (HONRY GER LIAOz...) n he is oso daring n confident enuff to wear it. i applaud it haha. he's ever ready to pose in diff positions/gestures. n can see it's a low cut top. LOL, the good features/side of his body oso shown. kudos to u!!
as i was editing the pix, i thot of wat i wanna say liaozz. this guy i blif is no longer teen, or young adult. most likely 30+. but his looks maintain pretty well. this is him when fully clothed. left side, he looks like such fatherly figure... gosh... my knees... or rather, my heart is thumping fast...(cut) den right side, he is havign such a clean face siazz... n seem to have a good body. ok, i saw him dressed in a warrior costume, n realise he got good figure hidden, tat y i began snapping. den the black guy, i thot he may have a fig oso, den supposed to wear tights, but in end, tights dun fit his body. but nvm. i may have misjudged too :P
An EQ book that I'm reading right now, discusses about Spiritual Centre. I find it quite true.
An import way to curb human tendencies, such as lust and anger, is to maintain a spiritual centre that keeps you grounded and focused on living more effectively. It requires you to look beyond yourself.
In today's world, there are many peiople purporting to know the right way. It is wise to be cautious when deciding on whom to believe. There are frauds who exploits people's vulnerabilities and indecision about how to live their lives. Several signs to watch out for are, if:
==========================
And the following line is quite true about me:
He usually downgrade their talents and look up to others more than necessary. He is afraid of not being accepted (at work, it's true. not in personal life, i think)
An import way to curb human tendencies, such as lust and anger, is to maintain a spiritual centre that keeps you grounded and focused on living more effectively. It requires you to look beyond yourself.
In today's world, there are many peiople purporting to know the right way. It is wise to be cautious when deciding on whom to believe. There are frauds who exploits people's vulnerabilities and indecision about how to live their lives. Several signs to watch out for are, if:
- they want money from you in exchange for building your spirituality
- they wat you to rely solely on them
- they use icons or toher symbols to build solidarity
- you feel uncomfortable deep down inside and wonder if it is right - if you feel this way, chances are it is not
- they want you to alter your behaviour or your daily routines so that they can take you away from your friends and family
- they belittle your emotional or intellectual capabilities
- they don't accept challenge or any different way of thinking
- everything emanates and revolves around them only
- they ask you to surrender your independence
- you need to question whether there is manipulation or cohesion
- they threaten you with recrimination and ridicule
- there is a hierachy and rigid rules that are outside of your normal boundaries
- they want to cut you from the real world
- they use drugs or other stimulants to seduce you
==========================
And the following line is quite true about me:
He usually downgrade their talents and look up to others more than necessary. He is afraid of not being accepted (at work, it's true. not in personal life, i think)
Thursday, November 17, 2005
today is the LAST straw. i muz confirm whether i can go on leave anot.
but hor, today i find tat a lot of guys like to wear green tight Ts. i saw a poly guy sitting in front of mi in it. den antoher boy boarded oso. ya i keep loking at the back oft eh poly guy. den the boy hor, dunno y, 3 gers (forgot if got guys) who sat wif him all move to other available seats very soon. some ppl of cos peeped over to see if anything wrong. den, haha, i was thinking, i dun mind sitting there loh... n find out wat's wrogn n understand his thinking/mindset.
den hor, wah liao, a guy from the back seat, went over to sit. he sat there till.... his time to alight. ahah, at tat time, it felt like a guy is able to control him n take care of him siazz... and it's a grown up man.
den hor, the dec leave schedule, wah liao, no 1 willing to discuss, as tho dun wanna face reality n put things infinitely off. well, it's not mi loh. issues still need to b sorted out, n i will, for sure. discussing it, den finally reach some conclusion. for mi, i somehow really dun feel any clash at all. true, my schedule nvr clash, cos snr exam period is after xmas. i leave b4 xmas period.
but 1 thing unhappy is tat, sighzzz.. jnr had planned for a family trip in oct i think. n leave approved. den snr's exam leave now den made known, after i repeated asked her to. now her exam clash wif jnr time. family trip, of cos impt. den exam, is from informatic. ppl say can defer the exam, but snr insist cannot. haha.. dunno. so now, dunno their timing yet. but hor, i find tat, perhaps i blif it's not clashinig wif mi much, or i insist, within mi, to behave as tho all thigns will work otu fine for mi. i kept my mood n feels inside mi. thru out the plannign n discussing, i was always putting a smile n joked. cos i know: i know wat i wan, n know their schedule. it's gonna b a team effort, i wil ltry to think for them, but oso dun lose my point. dun get tense up, relax n discuss. tat, know urself, know ur enemy.
the jnr, cos it';s affeting her, well, in both ways ie her leave clash wif snr, n her moods oso playing her out. affecting her so she kinda focus on listening calls. i oso pick up, but tell them i call back later. well, cos she sure feel she at the losing end. bobian, the snr think tat, she got exam, so surely wil lget the leave 1, so dun care when she let us know.
n hor, i jus know they oso getting a new colleague. a female. i dun really care... cos, perhaps they oso know i got my cert, so jus to prepare for mi leaving or anythign, they gettign new ger to come in. i oso thinking of jumping to agent. but i dunno if they willing to buy mi over. other way is, i find java job, den get themt o buy mi over, but i fail the 3 mths probation? hhheeh...
back to office thigns. we shopped around n went to robinson in orchard, the flr where they sell men's office bag. har, cos the staff hor, looks like a GUAI sec BOY, wif thick EYEBROW, N SHY. CUTE! i look at him, for 2 secs, he suddenly scared, n dunno where to plc his ahdn hahaha..
wah liao, tis time i oso... dunno wat going on wif mi. today is last day to buy air tic. den i forgot to bring passport. i know which blk is the shop, but forgot the unit number. funni hor? jnr n snr oso ask mi, if got prob finding the plc, can call them. haha, well, i prefer to search n explore myself, rather than really so jialut ask for help.
but i discover 1 thing abt myself. i do enjoy moving around, looking, browsing n seeing new things/places. but i tend to b stukc at my plc. i dun wan to move around if i'm at my desk. but if i'm oredi outside, i'm ready to explore.
right now, i really tryign to plan n meet up my frns... haha, sigh plannign really need take into account abt time mgmt siazz... think ahead. n plan when i do wat. hehe, guess i gonna use sony's organiser.
but hor, today i find tat a lot of guys like to wear green tight Ts. i saw a poly guy sitting in front of mi in it. den antoher boy boarded oso. ya i keep loking at the back oft eh poly guy. den the boy hor, dunno y, 3 gers (forgot if got guys) who sat wif him all move to other available seats very soon. some ppl of cos peeped over to see if anything wrong. den, haha, i was thinking, i dun mind sitting there loh... n find out wat's wrogn n understand his thinking/mindset.
den hor, wah liao, a guy from the back seat, went over to sit. he sat there till.... his time to alight. ahah, at tat time, it felt like a guy is able to control him n take care of him siazz... and it's a grown up man.
den hor, the dec leave schedule, wah liao, no 1 willing to discuss, as tho dun wanna face reality n put things infinitely off. well, it's not mi loh. issues still need to b sorted out, n i will, for sure. discussing it, den finally reach some conclusion. for mi, i somehow really dun feel any clash at all. true, my schedule nvr clash, cos snr exam period is after xmas. i leave b4 xmas period.
but 1 thing unhappy is tat, sighzzz.. jnr had planned for a family trip in oct i think. n leave approved. den snr's exam leave now den made known, after i repeated asked her to. now her exam clash wif jnr time. family trip, of cos impt. den exam, is from informatic. ppl say can defer the exam, but snr insist cannot. haha.. dunno. so now, dunno their timing yet. but hor, i find tat, perhaps i blif it's not clashinig wif mi much, or i insist, within mi, to behave as tho all thigns will work otu fine for mi. i kept my mood n feels inside mi. thru out the plannign n discussing, i was always putting a smile n joked. cos i know: i know wat i wan, n know their schedule. it's gonna b a team effort, i wil ltry to think for them, but oso dun lose my point. dun get tense up, relax n discuss. tat, know urself, know ur enemy.
the jnr, cos it';s affeting her, well, in both ways ie her leave clash wif snr, n her moods oso playing her out. affecting her so she kinda focus on listening calls. i oso pick up, but tell them i call back later. well, cos she sure feel she at the losing end. bobian, the snr think tat, she got exam, so surely wil lget the leave 1, so dun care when she let us know.
n hor, i jus know they oso getting a new colleague. a female. i dun really care... cos, perhaps they oso know i got my cert, so jus to prepare for mi leaving or anythign, they gettign new ger to come in. i oso thinking of jumping to agent. but i dunno if they willing to buy mi over. other way is, i find java job, den get themt o buy mi over, but i fail the 3 mths probation? hhheeh...
back to office thigns. we shopped around n went to robinson in orchard, the flr where they sell men's office bag. har, cos the staff hor, looks like a GUAI sec BOY, wif thick EYEBROW, N SHY. CUTE! i look at him, for 2 secs, he suddenly scared, n dunno where to plc his ahdn hahaha..
wah liao, tis time i oso... dunno wat going on wif mi. today is last day to buy air tic. den i forgot to bring passport. i know which blk is the shop, but forgot the unit number. funni hor? jnr n snr oso ask mi, if got prob finding the plc, can call them. haha, well, i prefer to search n explore myself, rather than really so jialut ask for help.
but i discover 1 thing abt myself. i do enjoy moving around, looking, browsing n seeing new things/places. but i tend to b stukc at my plc. i dun wan to move around if i'm at my desk. but if i'm oredi outside, i'm ready to explore.
right now, i really tryign to plan n meet up my frns... haha, sigh plannign really need take into account abt time mgmt siazz... think ahead. n plan when i do wat. hehe, guess i gonna use sony's organiser.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
why do i have so much thigns to blog everyday? i really wonder y... so much things to tell? my guess is that, i live alone, some frns abroad. n wif my family i dun share some thigns wif them, and wat's more i dun live wif family, so need to find a channel to voice my feelings?
tis morning quite exciting. haha... finally i woke up on time!!!! prep myself n went to take bus. oh ya, the free paper hor, now queue getting LONNNNGGGGEEERRRR. i think hor, since it's free, ppl jus get it to read to kill time n b updated on the latest news. no big deal (yes, i'm inclined to streats dearie). was reading papers on the buss as it went off. den i saw 1 40+ 40 auntie bringing some packet stuff. she really those auntie ty0e loh.. looking for seats n unable to balance well. i look n observe her. she can balance but just looking for seats.
den as the bus moved, a ger was adjusting her bag. aunt lok at her oso. den, i decided to give up my seat. haha.. although the folowing line is cliche, but it's still pure courtesy loh
me: auntie, have a seat
her: u sit loh, nvm
me move away wif a smile
her grab the seat.
oh ya, anyway, as i boarded the bus, wah, i saw a cute guy sitting... bit plump though. wanna sit there, but he take up some space, so i jus sit opposite him loh.. den after i gave up my seat, ahha, i tookt eh chance to stand BESIDE his seat. look n observe his movements... but he napping lah. den i saw his file. NP freshmen orientation 03/04. wat??? he's freshie in 03/04??? but he in working attire?? i dun think he's helper in freshie day loh... cos helper dun get any such bags 1 mah.
den i looked around, to my right, got 2 fashionable guys sitting there, wif hair properly styled. the 1 outside, in wokr attire, but first 2 butts undone. ya i noted tat much. n they napping oso. sayangzz them siazz. so tired... n for a whole 30 mins trip to work, my first time to stand thru'out, but happily lah haha. somehow, later when 1 fashion guy alighted, the unbutt guy still there. the bus moved n no 1 tookt he seat yet. so i moved into it. dunno my gaydar working anot, as i sat there, the unbutt guy fell asleep, n his arm pushed onto my shoulder. gradually lah. i din resist hahah... den mins later ,he took out his mrt card, rubbing my arm in the process n alighted.
sighzzz.. at work, i simply hope my contract will end soon. no future in this plc. i'm thinking of doing a bad job here so my contract can end earlier, but i knwo it';ll gimme a bad name lah, so a BADB BAD IDEA. *snip*
den abt my oz trip. my snr ask mi to bookt eh tix first. so i called to boko liao, n ask, if someone cancel tix for earlier flgiht, lemme know oso. haha, so qiao, today misa called mi, tat i got a tix selling at 401, instead of the advertised 388. hehe GOOD!!! now oni waiting for the snr to confirm exam date
den hor, damn sianzz. i told snr last wk abt my oz plan. she say she need to chk her exam date. till tues, she din reply yet. so while she present i ask the boss. boss say need to discuss wif team. den wednesday, boss not here. n e tix, need to confirm by thur night. my feeling is tat, seem liek 1 day snr exam date cannot confirm, i cant take leave??? wats is tat???
but now, i think abt it... the jnr taking leave after xmas. when snr saw it, she promptly discussed wif boss. n my dates, 20th to 25th, she said nthing, jus ask mi bk first. my guess is tat, my wk, she oni taking leave to prep for exam. exam is after xmas. my guess oni. she even asked a colleague to discuss when they shld take leave... to, i think, study...
keep my fings crossed. hope thigns go on fine.
tis morning quite exciting. haha... finally i woke up on time!!!! prep myself n went to take bus. oh ya, the free paper hor, now queue getting LONNNNGGGGEEERRRR. i think hor, since it's free, ppl jus get it to read to kill time n b updated on the latest news. no big deal (yes, i'm inclined to streats dearie). was reading papers on the buss as it went off. den i saw 1 40+ 40 auntie bringing some packet stuff. she really those auntie ty0e loh.. looking for seats n unable to balance well. i look n observe her. she can balance but just looking for seats.
den as the bus moved, a ger was adjusting her bag. aunt lok at her oso. den, i decided to give up my seat. haha.. although the folowing line is cliche, but it's still pure courtesy loh
me: auntie, have a seat
her: u sit loh, nvm
me move away wif a smile
her grab the seat.
oh ya, anyway, as i boarded the bus, wah, i saw a cute guy sitting... bit plump though. wanna sit there, but he take up some space, so i jus sit opposite him loh.. den after i gave up my seat, ahha, i tookt eh chance to stand BESIDE his seat. look n observe his movements... but he napping lah. den i saw his file. NP freshmen orientation 03/04. wat??? he's freshie in 03/04??? but he in working attire?? i dun think he's helper in freshie day loh... cos helper dun get any such bags 1 mah.
den i looked around, to my right, got 2 fashionable guys sitting there, wif hair properly styled. the 1 outside, in wokr attire, but first 2 butts undone. ya i noted tat much. n they napping oso. sayangzz them siazz. so tired... n for a whole 30 mins trip to work, my first time to stand thru'out, but happily lah haha. somehow, later when 1 fashion guy alighted, the unbutt guy still there. the bus moved n no 1 tookt he seat yet. so i moved into it. dunno my gaydar working anot, as i sat there, the unbutt guy fell asleep, n his arm pushed onto my shoulder. gradually lah. i din resist hahah... den mins later ,he took out his mrt card, rubbing my arm in the process n alighted.
sighzzz.. at work, i simply hope my contract will end soon. no future in this plc. i'm thinking of doing a bad job here so my contract can end earlier, but i knwo it';ll gimme a bad name lah, so a BADB BAD IDEA. *snip*
den abt my oz trip. my snr ask mi to bookt eh tix first. so i called to boko liao, n ask, if someone cancel tix for earlier flgiht, lemme know oso. haha, so qiao, today misa called mi, tat i got a tix selling at 401, instead of the advertised 388. hehe GOOD!!! now oni waiting for the snr to confirm exam date
den hor, damn sianzz. i told snr last wk abt my oz plan. she say she need to chk her exam date. till tues, she din reply yet. so while she present i ask the boss. boss say need to discuss wif team. den wednesday, boss not here. n e tix, need to confirm by thur night. my feeling is tat, seem liek 1 day snr exam date cannot confirm, i cant take leave??? wats is tat???
but now, i think abt it... the jnr taking leave after xmas. when snr saw it, she promptly discussed wif boss. n my dates, 20th to 25th, she said nthing, jus ask mi bk first. my guess is tat, my wk, she oni taking leave to prep for exam. exam is after xmas. my guess oni. she even asked a colleague to discuss when they shld take leave... to, i think, study...
keep my fings crossed. hope thigns go on fine.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
consolidating 2 days.
monday: my agent came. wanna hand a giro form to mi. hehe, as i walk to him, he was standing up, "pushing" his chest forward. hahah, my gaze fell instantly onto his black top.
nothign else to say lah. den i slept at 130am, trying to snap some TV shots. but i was oso/.. doing something while sleeping haah. the next thign i know i woke in midst of night, den woke back my shorts, n woke again when the room is BRIGHT. it's 7.40am. GOSH, I'M LATE!!! wah liaozz... den no free paper to take anymore (oh well, these days, TODAY include letters of general public. it lost the feel of more impt issues. like i din expect ppl to write in about toilets, road cleanliness. OMG. WHERE'S MY BELOVED streats??) was abt to alight, n den it started pouring. argh.
den here comes the funny part. i got inot the lift wif a guy. i know my hair is BLOATING. i look into the mirror. the guy also look into my eyes thru the mirror ahha. i pressed down my hair, but din look at the guy 2nd time lah. at work, i was planning to take leave mah for oz trip. the snr ger say she need to check with her exam schedule. i told her on mon, den today tues, she din find out yet. so i ask again. den i felt that, wat if she took her time to check on the schedule? i better let my sup know oso. at least he can be notified as well. 2 bad, when i told my sup, he replied in a way that make mi feel i shld not have told him directly.
later i oso checekd the airfare. tryign to kinda check on the rates. KAUZZZ!!! the rates have change from 320 to 540?????? i was stunned!!!!! i called the agencies n airlines to check. GOSH!!!! the tix r sold out!!!! the closign date for the tix is 17 nov, but now sold out liao?!??!?! WAH LIAO!!!! next available date for qantas is 24 dec. or go SIA for the mn flight. but much $$ than qantas... damn it...............
din expect such cockup. well, jus from exp loh. cos i din not book the tix, i merely check on the rates. i was hoping to wait for the ppromo to get better n see again. sigh. a slip on my part. wah liao.. now need to spend much more money. snr did say i can visit oz in CNY period. when i told my mum, she oso ask if the cost is worth my trip. i'd say (hope she dun have the copyright to this phrase): "it's worth it".
i even prepare to buy some things over haha.. ya, when i saw the tix raise price, i was devastated siazz.. btu still i muz go :) umm, our morale here oso kinda getting lower by the day.
oso went to the adviser briefing today. hehe, the person who intro mi 1, i call her "AG". she called mi in office. i dun wan my colelagues to know, so had to b quite secret. why secret? i jus dun wan them to know bt my plans yet, cos i not confirmed, n stil need to check for details. when she called, i even lied to the jnr, saying AG veli veli mafan, calling to check on an issue tat's resolved wks back.
haha, den i took mrt to the briefing plc, the mrt was ok, even saw a guy in singlet haha. he shy, so bend down whiel in seat. but i look at him when got chance. n once again, i duno how to reach the plc, called AG, n "toured" the area in a bid to find the office haah. to my surprise, got 4 person (incl mi) supposed to be there, oni mi 1 person turn up. i found out more abt wat it takes to become adviser lah. so now, entirely up to mi if i wanna challenge myself.
but b4 tat, i need to find more details... wat's more my contract 1st yr over in mid march, but i wanna perhaps start on partime basis first. actually, if i really wanna go into this industry, i oso duno wat to do for my java n family. java cos i still into java. dun wanna waste it. duno... but programming cannot b long term anymore. den family... i dun blif they will support mi at all. or will they? cos the MLM earlier on need to invest money, huge sum. this 1? dunno,. my sis more open. mum is more sceptical.
monday: my agent came. wanna hand a giro form to mi. hehe, as i walk to him, he was standing up, "pushing" his chest forward. hahah, my gaze fell instantly onto his black top.
nothign else to say lah. den i slept at 130am, trying to snap some TV shots. but i was oso/.. doing something while sleeping haah. the next thign i know i woke in midst of night, den woke back my shorts, n woke again when the room is BRIGHT. it's 7.40am. GOSH, I'M LATE!!! wah liaozz... den no free paper to take anymore (oh well, these days, TODAY include letters of general public. it lost the feel of more impt issues. like i din expect ppl to write in about toilets, road cleanliness. OMG. WHERE'S MY BELOVED streats??) was abt to alight, n den it started pouring. argh.
den here comes the funny part. i got inot the lift wif a guy. i know my hair is BLOATING. i look into the mirror. the guy also look into my eyes thru the mirror ahha. i pressed down my hair, but din look at the guy 2nd time lah. at work, i was planning to take leave mah for oz trip. the snr ger say she need to check with her exam schedule. i told her on mon, den today tues, she din find out yet. so i ask again. den i felt that, wat if she took her time to check on the schedule? i better let my sup know oso. at least he can be notified as well. 2 bad, when i told my sup, he replied in a way that make mi feel i shld not have told him directly.
later i oso checekd the airfare. tryign to kinda check on the rates. KAUZZZ!!! the rates have change from 320 to 540?????? i was stunned!!!!! i called the agencies n airlines to check. GOSH!!!! the tix r sold out!!!! the closign date for the tix is 17 nov, but now sold out liao?!??!?! WAH LIAO!!!! next available date for qantas is 24 dec. or go SIA for the mn flight. but much $$ than qantas... damn it...............
din expect such cockup. well, jus from exp loh. cos i din not book the tix, i merely check on the rates. i was hoping to wait for the ppromo to get better n see again. sigh. a slip on my part. wah liao.. now need to spend much more money. snr did say i can visit oz in CNY period. when i told my mum, she oso ask if the cost is worth my trip. i'd say (hope she dun have the copyright to this phrase): "it's worth it".
i even prepare to buy some things over haha.. ya, when i saw the tix raise price, i was devastated siazz.. btu still i muz go :) umm, our morale here oso kinda getting lower by the day.
oso went to the adviser briefing today. hehe, the person who intro mi 1, i call her "AG". she called mi in office. i dun wan my colelagues to know, so had to b quite secret. why secret? i jus dun wan them to know bt my plans yet, cos i not confirmed, n stil need to check for details. when she called, i even lied to the jnr, saying AG veli veli mafan, calling to check on an issue tat's resolved wks back.
haha, den i took mrt to the briefing plc, the mrt was ok, even saw a guy in singlet haha. he shy, so bend down whiel in seat. but i look at him when got chance. n once again, i duno how to reach the plc, called AG, n "toured" the area in a bid to find the office haah. to my surprise, got 4 person (incl mi) supposed to be there, oni mi 1 person turn up. i found out more abt wat it takes to become adviser lah. so now, entirely up to mi if i wanna challenge myself.
but b4 tat, i need to find more details... wat's more my contract 1st yr over in mid march, but i wanna perhaps start on partime basis first. actually, if i really wanna go into this industry, i oso duno wat to do for my java n family. java cos i still into java. dun wanna waste it. duno... but programming cannot b long term anymore. den family... i dun blif they will support mi at all. or will they? cos the MLM earlier on need to invest money, huge sum. this 1? dunno,. my sis more open. mum is more sceptical.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
haha... last night, i mustered my courage, yes mustered, n went to irc. cos.. LOL, u blif it? i was reading an article dated in june tis yr, toking abt youngsters (sec sch boys) who, due to their immaturity, traded their bodies with materialistic stuff, and ended up kena those diseases. i was really appalled, n wanna b good samaritan, by going into irc n see if i can help in anyway.. haha, i know, and knew, it was mad movement cos how am i gonna help at all?! but i just felt justified to go in. haha.
i jus parked inside for abt 1 hr n went off. cos i din promo myself, so no 1 chatted up haha. n abt 12am, after my bath, i.. decided to b noti.i used my webcam for irc hahah. some ppl connected to mi, but due to the poor std of my cam, those ppl who demand for quality cam left disappointed, kept complaining how dark the cam is, how slow it's. but i jus bochap loh. they wanna see, jus see. dun wan, den d/c loh. some ppl oso wan mi show my face.. NAHZZ, those ppl who gong-gong den show face lerzz..
if u gonna do anything tat ppl can blackmail u wif, think of the possible consequences tat ur acts may bring. protect urself.
hehe.. den at last min, someone dun have cam but wanna see. den he quite courteous lah, cos he dun have cam mah, dun dare to b over-demanding. so we did play around, showing parts of my body haha... quite fun siazz.. although it's not bad to have someone coming over, i'm not sure if i'm prepared to meet new ppl. wil it be really ONS, or we can tok? aiya 2 much thigns to think. so jus over cam will do loh. hee, but he's oso someone who can control himself loh.
i kept asking him to come over, n teasing him, but he insist not to, saying he need to study. n oso keep asking mi to show "live action" n face. but i wun. cos, too risky :) so it's like we both try to get each other to do our bidding but none conceded. heeh.. long time never had such fun liao.. LOL
n hor, i'm really getting excited over my oz trip. hope everything can go smoothly..
=====================
for long time, i din have a dream tat make mi feel down. it somehow reflected my inner world.
it's some festival.. maybe CNY? den we at a relative (dunno who) place celebrating. every1 is having fun mingling around n mixing around. i'm the odd 1 out. i choose to stay away from them. i dino where to go. i jus walk around in the house. helping to keep the place clean. i even rmb, using a broken mop, den putting it back/
====================
btw, this page is really ridiculous.. or hilarious..
i jus parked inside for abt 1 hr n went off. cos i din promo myself, so no 1 chatted up haha. n abt 12am, after my bath, i.. decided to b noti.i used my webcam for irc hahah. some ppl connected to mi, but due to the poor std of my cam, those ppl who demand for quality cam left disappointed, kept complaining how dark the cam is, how slow it's. but i jus bochap loh. they wanna see, jus see. dun wan, den d/c loh. some ppl oso wan mi show my face.. NAHZZ, those ppl who gong-gong den show face lerzz..
if u gonna do anything tat ppl can blackmail u wif, think of the possible consequences tat ur acts may bring. protect urself.
hehe.. den at last min, someone dun have cam but wanna see. den he quite courteous lah, cos he dun have cam mah, dun dare to b over-demanding. so we did play around, showing parts of my body haha... quite fun siazz.. although it's not bad to have someone coming over, i'm not sure if i'm prepared to meet new ppl. wil it be really ONS, or we can tok? aiya 2 much thigns to think. so jus over cam will do loh. hee, but he's oso someone who can control himself loh.
i kept asking him to come over, n teasing him, but he insist not to, saying he need to study. n oso keep asking mi to show "live action" n face. but i wun. cos, too risky :) so it's like we both try to get each other to do our bidding but none conceded. heeh.. long time never had such fun liao.. LOL
n hor, i'm really getting excited over my oz trip. hope everything can go smoothly..
=====================
for long time, i din have a dream tat make mi feel down. it somehow reflected my inner world.
it's some festival.. maybe CNY? den we at a relative (dunno who) place celebrating. every1 is having fun mingling around n mixing around. i'm the odd 1 out. i choose to stay away from them. i dino where to go. i jus walk around in the house. helping to keep the place clean. i even rmb, using a broken mop, den putting it back/
====================
btw, this page is really ridiculous.. or hilarious..
Saturday, November 12, 2005
it's mi commenting again... (for the whole morning, i dunno wat to write. until now, i came back from lunch appt)
as i mentioned b4, my office got a fat sup. now tis fat sup transferred to a newly setup section in our office. den, this fat sup stil keep asking mi to do things n check thngs for him whcih he can easily find out as well. my colleagues tell mi dun do things free for him anymore. ask him do himself. but i'm still the mindset of, help if i can. they oso say no need so nice help him anymore.
i know myself tat, once my limit is reaached, den ta'ts all.
den hor, jus now the lunch appt, my left eye was twitching. den a fridae guy who i met up last wk, he wanna mit for lunch. counting the times, 1 last sun, 1 on wed evening, 1 on fri night, den another 1 for lunch today. 4 times meet in 1 wk. sunday we met. wed evening cos my family din cook, so i thot, dining together ok loh. den fri he wanna meet supper, cos he hungry n wanna eat soemthing. so i thot, ok loh. jus now, he again wanna lunch. i told him i used to eating alone liao. but he use those soft tactics (ku rou ji)... like "u dun wna lunch, den i skip" "1 person eat veli boring" "thot of going shopping mall walk". well, my heart soften, so i agreed.
but it turn out to be quite sianzzz. cos we nothing much to tok, n his ideas dun click wif mine. like his thining more to the self centred n racially biased type. as in, jus now, i abt to go order my food. beside us is a malay family eating. jus as i abt to go order, a malay ger, not kid, passed by our table n put a tray CONVENIENTLY. i dunno wat she trying to do, so jus went to order.
later, i came back, the tray is still there. i know who put there. grumbling, i moved the tray to antoher table, n exclaimed "dunno who put the tray on our table" in english. the family beside us know mi referrign to them, but told her kids to b quiet. den hor, this fridae guy, like wanna b on par wif mi, referred to them in a derogatory manner. i was stunned siazz...
anyway the newly opened place, food mayb ok, but svc not good. i wanna order spaghetti fish, n dun wan some things, the person replied , those things muz put there 1....... oh well, such rigidness dun deserve my money...........
as for fridae, need to cut down liao, so tat will not b boring. sometimes i muz really b firm...
thinking back, i was quite opinionated, if there is such word. i will feel my way is right. and if things dun work my way, i may be pissed off. even tho i thot my EQ was ok. like jus now, wif the bored lunch, i may b pissed in the past, but now, i'm learning to take it in my stride. as we parted, i asked if the fridae wnana walk around more. cos i live here 5 yrs, he oni 3 wks. his reply: all the shops r the same 1 mah, unless u know wat to see, if not wat's there to look around for?
haha, i duno wat to reply siazz...
======================
n hor i think in the past, (hopefully not anymore) i was quite easily irritated by ppl's actions which i dun agree. i feel it cld b due to, my pals taught mi a lot, n from them, i set a std for new frns. those who din meet the std, i'll feel they r not worth my frnship, or even feel tat, how come at such age, they still tis kinda look/feel/attitude?? an eg is... LOL ("LOL" is not part of the eg) a person (till now, still dunno if i shld call him frn or acq or wat) who i knew from irc, he say he wanna b frn to mi.. or maybe good frn. den i started to impose stds for him to reach/meet. eg, if i am tired, unhappy or soemthing, or anyone who is unhappy or tired, they will usually say oni 1 or 2 liners. den i hope or expect the other party to realise/feel the mood swing of mi.
when it does not happen, i feel tat person is not sensitive enuff, until such a way that he may not b worth my frnship. but as time goes by, i begin to understand more about diff ppl's behaviour n tinking. even for a SM frn, 'cos my pals usually can see thigns in a broader aspect compared to mi, n they usually manage to put that idea into mi, or convince their way is better, i actually tried to do tat to tat SM frn as well, resulting somehow in mi insisting my way is right, n put the other person idea's down. hahah..
but now, i learn to respect ppl's decisions. i can always tell them wat i think, n see if they r ok. if i dun think they shld do in a way, i'll tell them maybe 1 or 2 times, but if they reallu dun wan, den.. jus let it b.
i think it's partly due to my bringing up, and my newly-found confi.
as i mentioned b4, my office got a fat sup. now tis fat sup transferred to a newly setup section in our office. den, this fat sup stil keep asking mi to do things n check thngs for him whcih he can easily find out as well. my colleagues tell mi dun do things free for him anymore. ask him do himself. but i'm still the mindset of, help if i can. they oso say no need so nice help him anymore.
i know myself tat, once my limit is reaached, den ta'ts all.
den hor, jus now the lunch appt, my left eye was twitching. den a fridae guy who i met up last wk, he wanna mit for lunch. counting the times, 1 last sun, 1 on wed evening, 1 on fri night, den another 1 for lunch today. 4 times meet in 1 wk. sunday we met. wed evening cos my family din cook, so i thot, dining together ok loh. den fri he wanna meet supper, cos he hungry n wanna eat soemthing. so i thot, ok loh. jus now, he again wanna lunch. i told him i used to eating alone liao. but he use those soft tactics (ku rou ji)... like "u dun wna lunch, den i skip" "1 person eat veli boring" "thot of going shopping mall walk". well, my heart soften, so i agreed.
but it turn out to be quite sianzzz. cos we nothing much to tok, n his ideas dun click wif mine. like his thining more to the self centred n racially biased type. as in, jus now, i abt to go order my food. beside us is a malay family eating. jus as i abt to go order, a malay ger, not kid, passed by our table n put a tray CONVENIENTLY. i dunno wat she trying to do, so jus went to order.
later, i came back, the tray is still there. i know who put there. grumbling, i moved the tray to antoher table, n exclaimed "dunno who put the tray on our table" in english. the family beside us know mi referrign to them, but told her kids to b quiet. den hor, this fridae guy, like wanna b on par wif mi, referred to them in a derogatory manner. i was stunned siazz...
anyway the newly opened place, food mayb ok, but svc not good. i wanna order spaghetti fish, n dun wan some things, the person replied , those things muz put there 1....... oh well, such rigidness dun deserve my money...........
as for fridae, need to cut down liao, so tat will not b boring. sometimes i muz really b firm...
thinking back, i was quite opinionated, if there is such word. i will feel my way is right. and if things dun work my way, i may be pissed off. even tho i thot my EQ was ok. like jus now, wif the bored lunch, i may b pissed in the past, but now, i'm learning to take it in my stride. as we parted, i asked if the fridae wnana walk around more. cos i live here 5 yrs, he oni 3 wks. his reply: all the shops r the same 1 mah, unless u know wat to see, if not wat's there to look around for?
haha, i duno wat to reply siazz...
======================
n hor i think in the past, (hopefully not anymore) i was quite easily irritated by ppl's actions which i dun agree. i feel it cld b due to, my pals taught mi a lot, n from them, i set a std for new frns. those who din meet the std, i'll feel they r not worth my frnship, or even feel tat, how come at such age, they still tis kinda look/feel/attitude?? an eg is... LOL ("LOL" is not part of the eg) a person (till now, still dunno if i shld call him frn or acq or wat) who i knew from irc, he say he wanna b frn to mi.. or maybe good frn. den i started to impose stds for him to reach/meet. eg, if i am tired, unhappy or soemthing, or anyone who is unhappy or tired, they will usually say oni 1 or 2 liners. den i hope or expect the other party to realise/feel the mood swing of mi.
when it does not happen, i feel tat person is not sensitive enuff, until such a way that he may not b worth my frnship. but as time goes by, i begin to understand more about diff ppl's behaviour n tinking. even for a SM frn, 'cos my pals usually can see thigns in a broader aspect compared to mi, n they usually manage to put that idea into mi, or convince their way is better, i actually tried to do tat to tat SM frn as well, resulting somehow in mi insisting my way is right, n put the other person idea's down. hahah..
but now, i learn to respect ppl's decisions. i can always tell them wat i think, n see if they r ok. if i dun think they shld do in a way, i'll tell them maybe 1 or 2 times, but if they reallu dun wan, den.. jus let it b.
i think it's partly due to my bringing up, and my newly-found confi.
Friday, November 11, 2005
watched the "child of our time" again. it's the 2nd last ep. soemtimes hor i really wonder.. for those TV addicts, once a production catches ur attention, u'll forego some social events to watch its subsequent episodes. den when the series ends its run, u'll feel a bit lost, and need to plan wat to do next to fill up that empty slot.
anyway (i think this is another frequently used word...), watching the program really make mi know more abt myself. cos since young, i was ALWAYS at home watching TV. even my mum/dad keep nagging at mi to go out. but i jus stay home to watch tv. ask mi anything abt the TV show, i can asnwer u. but this actually affect(ed) my social skills. as in i dunno how to mix wif frns, n dunnohow to share... now learning it bit by bit.
siaozz.. these days i keep forgetting wat i wanna blog. had in mind the contents, but when abt to write i dun rmb.
==================
ok. 1 of my views for reln is that, i dun mind sacrificing to make things work. so i'm not exactly sure wat went wrong lah. first few, all din work out at all. den when i gain more confi abt myself, to mi, some ppl will want to know mi at the spur of the moment. once they get tired of it, of the excitement n the freshness, they'll leave u. or if they find any fault wif u, they wun tok abt it, n jus let go.
for mi, i prefer to really tok things out, and see if i can adjust to suit the other person. changing does not mean changing urself, but adapting urself to suit him better. in such way that u dun feel suppressed.
================
i'm really planning (yes 2nd time i mentioning it) my oz trip now haha. den discussed wif my colleauges. seem like my hope to oz during xmas period may be dashed, cos due to work commitment. but i think cna work things out. den more jialut is muz call agencies to check on rates... sianzz..
n our place, the morale is really going downHILL. almost every1 is contemplating on resigning. mi, is to programming side. agent side, i din tell any1 yet.
anyway (i think this is another frequently used word...), watching the program really make mi know more abt myself. cos since young, i was ALWAYS at home watching TV. even my mum/dad keep nagging at mi to go out. but i jus stay home to watch tv. ask mi anything abt the TV show, i can asnwer u. but this actually affect(ed) my social skills. as in i dunno how to mix wif frns, n dunnohow to share... now learning it bit by bit.
siaozz.. these days i keep forgetting wat i wanna blog. had in mind the contents, but when abt to write i dun rmb.
==================
ok. 1 of my views for reln is that, i dun mind sacrificing to make things work. so i'm not exactly sure wat went wrong lah. first few, all din work out at all. den when i gain more confi abt myself, to mi, some ppl will want to know mi at the spur of the moment. once they get tired of it, of the excitement n the freshness, they'll leave u. or if they find any fault wif u, they wun tok abt it, n jus let go.
for mi, i prefer to really tok things out, and see if i can adjust to suit the other person. changing does not mean changing urself, but adapting urself to suit him better. in such way that u dun feel suppressed.
================
i'm really planning (yes 2nd time i mentioning it) my oz trip now haha. den discussed wif my colleauges. seem like my hope to oz during xmas period may be dashed, cos due to work commitment. but i think cna work things out. den more jialut is muz call agencies to check on rates... sianzz..
n our place, the morale is really going downHILL. almost every1 is contemplating on resigning. mi, is to programming side. agent side, i din tell any1 yet.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
long time nvr do exercises...
deciding to buy my desired IT gadgets
checking out my future career
cehcking out possible internet plans
n finding out the good mobile plans...
wondering when i can move back HOME
really feel VERY sick of the job... perhaps due to its stagnant nature?
i now reading books on EQ. had wanna read on PR bks, but found these instead. " Trust & betrayal in the workplace" and " EQ development : from success to significance" are good books. " Social cognition" does not really suit me. the first 2 showed egs of ppl who empathise wif those around him, making a better person. n how to build trust n confidence in ur dept, cos if u dun show faith or trust in ur colleague's aibilities n work, they wun do their best.
well, i think this is happening to mi. in my job
den today, really surprising.. n i wonder if i am SENSITIVE... a good frn from poly actually working in HSBC as FINANCIAL PLANNER. he called mi up asking for meetup. haha, upon hearing he working as adviser, i immedaitel have the feeling he's gonna be hardselling again... another person who gonna hardsell. my opinion is, if u asking ppl out for lunch, n they dunno wat u working as, DUN EVER reveal ur work nature.
even if u muz, dun mention it over dinner. mention it only after 3/4 of a meeting, so tat, u'll appear u nto meeting the frn wif selling products in mind...more like jus informing the frn u r in the biz, n hope he can support u. ya, mi now oni tok cock nia. cos.. havn even start n got all thes cocks to tok.
n now, i'm, really serious in going overseas for xmas... now oni see when my frns r free, n when i can take leave... wah, first time i go myself.. so exciting@
toking abt frns, i'm kinda confued now. cos, perhaps i was influenced soemhow. but i feel tat it's my right to do it. u see, some frns who pissed mi off till the point i really give up hope. these r ppl who i dun wan stay in contact at all. wanna leave them outta my life. but right now, given my situation n how hypocritic some frnships can b, i really wodner if, i can get in touch wif them once more. but this time, i ONI TREAT them as acquaintance... ppl who i dun need to b so trusting n truthful. they dun need to know the truth in watever i do, n i dun need to b 2 frank n sincere to them. it may b the usual way frnships r, but to mi, it';s FAKE.
see how, after all, since some ppl cannot take the truth, i have been wondering its value for them...
den hor, saw from TODAY paper that, ppl r discussing heatedly over the naming of sch, roads n landmarks. i thot it's oni gonna b a 1 or 2 letters responding to it. wah expect such a fuss over it. comeon, wat does a name have in it?? it's for humans to refer. oni if sonmeone contributed to it, or it's due to some great works, den it's useful n historical to give it a meaninful name. if not, it's jus ANOTHER name.
does Creative hold any significance to anything? Other than its original meaning?
Does Lot 1 mall mean anything?
Does Heeren/taka mean anything?
was also amused by some replies in TODAY too. started off wif a ger (no bias here is eant, thus ger is better word) wearing jeans n casual attire, not of a typical female attire, ie skirt, blouse, tube (like i know wat it's.) the group of gers den complained tat it's ladies night, so y reject the ger, just cos of the way she dresses? i din feel much, jus unhappy wif how the staff deal wif it. den today, got 1 mail replying to a reply to tat letter. this mail was saying, some issues, i din realise the whole story till i check the new groups/
the reply was saying, the ger shld know better tat since it's ladies night, it's obvious tat the theme was to have gers inside the bar, and men will come flocking in. if she wants to enter teh bar, she shld have dressed in a better manner, instead of such lesbian/butch wear. ending wif, if u wnana enter the pub, play by its rules.
(hehe, as i am reading the reply, i have some things to say...)
den the mail was reply, the reply made women sound so cheapskate, going in when it's free entry. if the purpsoe is to seduce/attract lusty males into the pub, then oni women clad in skinwear shld enter. those without a good figure can b left out.
to mi, (obviously?) the reply was aimed at gay issues. but on wat grounds did the bar reject the entry? was the ger a transexual? did the IC state her sexuality as F/M? if it's F, why isn't she allowed entry? butch? wat'st eh definition? mus she wear a skirt or blouse to flaunt her beauty? is there a STATED dresscode?
it's a ladies night, whereby all females shld b allowed entry. it's not the customers' responsiblity or obligation to ensure they r dressed in certain way that can attract male clients. so why stick the duty of "ladies shld attract guys" on the ger? unless the bar states "oni ladies dressed in an appropriate manner will be allowed entry" hahaha...
deciding to buy my desired IT gadgets
checking out my future career
cehcking out possible internet plans
n finding out the good mobile plans...
wondering when i can move back HOME
really feel VERY sick of the job... perhaps due to its stagnant nature?
i now reading books on EQ. had wanna read on PR bks, but found these instead. " Trust & betrayal in the workplace" and " EQ development : from success to significance" are good books. " Social cognition" does not really suit me. the first 2 showed egs of ppl who empathise wif those around him, making a better person. n how to build trust n confidence in ur dept, cos if u dun show faith or trust in ur colleague's aibilities n work, they wun do their best.
well, i think this is happening to mi. in my job
den today, really surprising.. n i wonder if i am SENSITIVE... a good frn from poly actually working in HSBC as FINANCIAL PLANNER. he called mi up asking for meetup. haha, upon hearing he working as adviser, i immedaitel have the feeling he's gonna be hardselling again... another person who gonna hardsell. my opinion is, if u asking ppl out for lunch, n they dunno wat u working as, DUN EVER reveal ur work nature.
even if u muz, dun mention it over dinner. mention it only after 3/4 of a meeting, so tat, u'll appear u nto meeting the frn wif selling products in mind...more like jus informing the frn u r in the biz, n hope he can support u. ya, mi now oni tok cock nia. cos.. havn even start n got all thes cocks to tok.
n now, i'm, really serious in going overseas for xmas... now oni see when my frns r free, n when i can take leave... wah, first time i go myself.. so exciting@
toking abt frns, i'm kinda confued now. cos, perhaps i was influenced soemhow. but i feel tat it's my right to do it. u see, some frns who pissed mi off till the point i really give up hope. these r ppl who i dun wan stay in contact at all. wanna leave them outta my life. but right now, given my situation n how hypocritic some frnships can b, i really wodner if, i can get in touch wif them once more. but this time, i ONI TREAT them as acquaintance... ppl who i dun need to b so trusting n truthful. they dun need to know the truth in watever i do, n i dun need to b 2 frank n sincere to them. it may b the usual way frnships r, but to mi, it';s FAKE.
see how, after all, since some ppl cannot take the truth, i have been wondering its value for them...
den hor, saw from TODAY paper that, ppl r discussing heatedly over the naming of sch, roads n landmarks. i thot it's oni gonna b a 1 or 2 letters responding to it. wah expect such a fuss over it. comeon, wat does a name have in it?? it's for humans to refer. oni if sonmeone contributed to it, or it's due to some great works, den it's useful n historical to give it a meaninful name. if not, it's jus ANOTHER name.
does Creative hold any significance to anything? Other than its original meaning?
Does Lot 1 mall mean anything?
Does Heeren/taka mean anything?
was also amused by some replies in TODAY too. started off wif a ger (no bias here is eant, thus ger is better word) wearing jeans n casual attire, not of a typical female attire, ie skirt, blouse, tube (like i know wat it's.) the group of gers den complained tat it's ladies night, so y reject the ger, just cos of the way she dresses? i din feel much, jus unhappy wif how the staff deal wif it. den today, got 1 mail replying to a reply to tat letter. this mail was saying, some issues, i din realise the whole story till i check the new groups/
the reply was saying, the ger shld know better tat since it's ladies night, it's obvious tat the theme was to have gers inside the bar, and men will come flocking in. if she wants to enter teh bar, she shld have dressed in a better manner, instead of such lesbian/butch wear. ending wif, if u wnana enter the pub, play by its rules.
(hehe, as i am reading the reply, i have some things to say...)
den the mail was reply, the reply made women sound so cheapskate, going in when it's free entry. if the purpsoe is to seduce/attract lusty males into the pub, then oni women clad in skinwear shld enter. those without a good figure can b left out.
to mi, (obviously?) the reply was aimed at gay issues. but on wat grounds did the bar reject the entry? was the ger a transexual? did the IC state her sexuality as F/M? if it's F, why isn't she allowed entry? butch? wat'st eh definition? mus she wear a skirt or blouse to flaunt her beauty? is there a STATED dresscode?
it's a ladies night, whereby all females shld b allowed entry. it's not the customers' responsiblity or obligation to ensure they r dressed in certain way that can attract male clients. so why stick the duty of "ladies shld attract guys" on the ger? unless the bar states "oni ladies dressed in an appropriate manner will be allowed entry" hahaha...
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