i've just blogged at my work blog :P

now, stil wondering hwo i shld link both them up... shld i copy them to this blog, or shld i jus put a link here? due to same old reasons, i dun wan my coleagues to know my life yet..

ok.. jus checked taht, my last blog was on thur night. so, on fri night, at work, i downloaded n install msn 7. quite nice. first time at work can use msn.. at least will save some sms loh. this ist eh day, which i find myself really enjoying my work. it's tiring, to stare into pc, n input data. i felt i'm really contributing my knowledge. really enjoy programming. n it's a new proj, so dun have any docs to read up on. n first day, i start to contribute liao.

now, i'm oni wondering how to make myself pass the probation... wat's funny is tat, this day, my mum din cook. sms the mgmt guy, he not free. so met my gal pal for dine. n, i'm excited tat, i took a bus from my work plc to my destinations! i wanna go town, so did research. n i found my way!!! COOL! i seem to know singapore a bit more :P

den, had dinner buffet wif her, n she cooked everythign for mi.. sweet hor? i ther eoni to gobble food =D den went for ktv... wow, had fun for the whole nite siazz!!

den sat morning.. was sianzz n tiring.. tryign very hard to study.. felt like giving up even. 1 module is abt proj mgmt, whcih i can grasp. 1 is MATHEMATICAL whcih i totally BLUR!!!! GOSH! had to force myself to read it.. but heck, i still muz get thru this sem. n hor, today, the class, a guy styled his hair. he looks nice. so i sat behind him, n tok him a while. unfortunately, he not chatty. ask him 2-3 qns, den he jus continue his own things...

n.. i'm beginning to go for web based emai liao... to save my disk space... but i'm still trying to see whcih option is better..

I know I've not been blogging for days.. not even at my java-kevin site... well, wat u think.. first day of work, i went for a party after work. it lasted longer than expected, n i got home (my place) at 12+. den 2nd day (today), i went for my class (BORING) n got home abt 12 oso. ya, spent abt 45 mins dining.

tis is my first work, tat dun need much job orientation, almost immediately can start work liao. been doing things since day 1. it's not torturous, but enjoyable. cos i finally see myself doing some programming related work. now still populating db. it's oni the beginning..

not forgetting to mention, when u fall for someone, u usually will wanna sacrifice a bit for him. such as, some things tat he say, if u think it really for he better, u usually will do it. but am i not realising it, or it's really not my case? most ofthe time, thsoe who.. showed interest in mi, they usuall more knowledgeable than mi. well, i do like tat, cos i am those bochap type, who enjoys listening more than doing research n finding out. so when i know them, they usually tell mi more things than i know of.

ok, y i sya these is 'cos, this guy.. who i been mentioning these days, he ask mi to drink plain water instead of soft after dinner, to make myself full. i understand the purpose. i know it's for long term benz. so i switch to it gradually.

then next, is taking bfast. i usually.. nvr take it 1, unless it's sunday, n i go family bfast. i've not taken bfast for years. den he, said tat, i shld go for it, as it's a staple meal of the day. yes i know tat, but it's not ez for mi to get bfast CHEAP n convenient. esp sincei need to leave home early to catch bus. n when i get to work, meals r EX.. costing near $1. i still have my own expenses to cover.

but since i started working here, i've been takign bfast. first day, so qiao, my sis bought croissant. i ate it for bfast on my first day. 2nd day, i know i got the time, so i went to buy a bun. n tat's my bfast. n since i can afford the time n effort, i thot of making it a point, to go family there, prepare my next day bfast, bring hme, morning go take paper n eat bffast. it sounds convenient.. n coincidence...

my last day of work at helpdesk... sigh.. if oni snr understand wat happening these days.. i realy worry for them.. cos.. no 1 gonna pick the phone..but tok abt happy things.. my last day, so i decided to give the team a treat. got 1 technician, he looks decent n proper. my height. but he certainly homo phobia, cos he shuns mi often. dun dare to b near mi. to give him a treat, b4 i leave, i decided to treat his side oso. n bought vege delite specially for him haha.. din put onions as he requested. my greatest consolation, he sms mi "ths for the great lunc" hahaha...

think i gonna update my java blog oso..

finally finished reading my java bk. not sure if i am realyl ready for the job, but at least i read up on java exam again, so as not to paiseh SJCP. now tat i've finished the book (tis time, i din really force myself to rmb the thing, but more to getting the gis n udnerstand it), i dun really know wat i shld do nxt lol..

anyway, r humans really so inclined to new stuff? over the yrs.. or even mths, there have been new faces appearing ont he tv. every now n den got new n appealiing faces.. i have liked pierre png, qiyuwu, julian hee, zzen. but as time goes by, it seems like, i have gradually lost interest in the formers. julian has the fig, n adam oso. so i still love them. others, nope, the interest is lost. i still rmb, taking pic wif zzen when i saw him at It show. but now he's jus another person. seem teh chronicle of life, tat getting accepted is 1 thing, but proving urself n maintaining that level is another..

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ok.. on fri ngiht, i slept pretty late.. so on saturday, i can say i still drowsy. den on saturday, i did some things.. along the day, my eyes have been twitching non-stop.. to an extent, i give up interepreting n rmb'ing abt it timings n meanings.. den.. on sunday, they seem to come true bit by bit.. all the no-gd things, n the gd things..

n i ask my sis abt my work. she spoke from a mgmt POV.. criticised mi for my work attitude going down, not the right thing to do even though i'm leaving, n i shld have discussed wif the sups. i had wanna... but the sup, i feel she surely... dun allow, ccos she bias..

den today... seriously.. i realyl doubt the snr know why i reduce my call load.. the KK seldom pick calls. so during my last wk, i reduce my clal load. so tat he is forced to pick up. den last fri, as i mentioned, i was bombed by snr, tat i din pick enuff calls. ok loh. i will help to pick calls. but i really cant imagine wat'll happen when i leave siazz..

i must get it off my chest...

friday was the limit, at my work place. i've only got 2 days left after tis wkend. den the snr held a meeting before KO time.

1) she ask mi, how come the emails no 1 is clearing? i thot u supposed to clear the mails? y, u not doing anythign?
i told her, the responsiblity was not passed down to mi.
she look around for ppl to support her, no ans, den she diamz.

2) she ask mi, how come those "website inaccessible" cases, i send them to the tech support tat side as well, resulting in a high pri case logged?
i told her, i have verified with her, tat those ppl r supposed to b in the CC list. den she oso dumb, n said tat, can use the template to send out. every1 den helped to check the email templates. but found none for the "website" issue.

3) tis is the hellish part. she came down on mi. she said, hwo come tis wk, i pick up so few calls? in the past, i picked so many calls, but tis wk, KK was picking up double my number? she den read out the stats. she said, she not saying i din pick calls, but dun push everything to KK, n try to pick more calls.
i ask her back, but i did pick up calls rite?
she say, yes, but even though it's my last wk, i shld still pick calls (she jus circling around her pt)
i said, i dun think i need to maintain my record correct?
she replied, tat i shld still ans calls...

well, she's jus tryingt o find fault wif mi, tryingt o find every detail to b my fault. cos she dun like mi to challenge her power.

4) i confirmed wif sup tat i got 0.5 day leave more to clear. if cant clear, will give money instead. so, when all r in office, i ask snr, if i can clear leave. she stunned, look at sup, den said she';ll check n lemme know.

i m ok wif working whole day for my last 2 days, i will get 0.5 day $ still. jus see how she gonna do things.

toking abt sat.. haha, while we doing OT, a 24 hr shift guy was playing techno songs on his pc. i like such songs. den i exclaimed, the songs make mi lose my focus. den hor, my snr actually said "wah liao, dunno how come always play such songs. wah jnr, ur songs better siazz". i know she tryingt o praise jnr. but she probably din realise, she's criticising another person's choice of songs..

monday, we supposed to work at 8am, to prepare for any cockup thing due to the relocation. but, y do WE need to b there early?? wat can we help on? our normal start time is 830 (830 shld b there), n 9am start work officially. we get there 0.5-1 hr earlier. but for wat?? nothign for us to do. totally a boring day. sianzz.. no motivation to work hard. but this place, does give mi knowledge on hwo diff ppl mix..

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sigh, i have a few thigns in mind... duno how to prioritise... i got my java bk to read (yes bks is theory, but it refreshes my knowledge) to prep for my new job. den oso got my monash boks to read (i dun wan become like last time, focus 2 much on java, den dun read monash bks, resulting in poor results), den now, i oso have to balance between catching up wif frns, having my own time, prep for my job, n saving money, n enjoying myself. wat's more, my contact lens broke again. tis time, i dun die die go for strait optical liao. i now checking out other brands around my plc..

n i muz admit, i forgot when was the last time i visited my frns' blogs.. damn..

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why is today so special?? no idea.. *i've not written anything for the past 1-2 days. gonna blog finish by all means.* special in the sense... i got a twitch in right eye. tis usualyl means something good will happen. true... the next night, i got sms from a lovely frn tat he wanna try 1-1 wif mi.. so of cos i'm excited :) now jus see when he's free.. cos he's a "salesman". den, on my way home from work, i saw a army mate (not pal/frn) whose body was pretty nice (not gym type, but got the lines n shape). when i was in the army (tat's where i knew my oz pal), once, he came up to mi, asking y sometime i keep looking at him. hahha, i told him, i found his body shape pretty nice hahah.. i even took a pic of him as i ord.. n i rmb who took it. but on the bus, he dun rmb mi, even though i waved at him. he gave a "huh? who r u? siao, nvm". he was wif a ger. so i din bother much. ahhaah.. but quite surprising to see him lah.

n as i have been blogging, i have been able to anticipate/feel either good or bad things gonna happen, wif my twitching eyes. but, 2 bad, left eye (bad) twitches more often than right. somehow, i feel tat, it's perhaps an indication for mi to grow up n learn to handle bad situations wif care n reasoning, not by moment of anger/unhappiness. cos today, at noon, it twitched. den near early evening, again.

true, around 5pm, KK started doing report, n i felt tat he's trying to push away the job of answering calls. i of cos not happy cos he always not keen to work hard. i walked out (on purpose) but thot abt it, n went back to help wif calls, by benefit of doubt (not exactly wat it means, but it seem to apply here).

den i had arranged wif a frn to watch movie premiere. i got to the meeting place. msg him, no reply. i paced up/down. i rmb abt my 2nd twitch. i am ready for something to ahppen. later on, he called mi, grumbling tat i nvr on my hp. den he wanted mi go directly to the cinema. but i really duno where he means. he jus say "tat cinema". den i rmb, tat i had gone to a cinema in tat area 2 times. so i agar agar know. so i went down.. but i've braced myself for some unhappy happenings.. nothign much happen. oni tat, he was rushign to go in, din buy anything movie food (popcorn, drink etc). but den, i oso felt it's 2 ex.. den din buy oso.

the movie i saw was "born as a pair" chn translation. the show is abt dealing wif cancer. the interesting part in this show is, a guy, or cutie, sent in his singing demo tape for a commercial. but he was struck off the candidate list, as the person din pay attention to the singing. den he was working partime as painter. e nice part abt tis is, he actually dares to sing in the public while he's working. but i dun. i admire his courage. n perhaps his talented voice (not sure if it's his voice tho). some way during the filming of his singing scene, i am touched. he's fulfilling his dream to sing. but i dun dare... dunno if i ever dare to sing. no confidence in my voice...

after movie, my frn asked his frn (call him boy) along for dinner. i can see tat, the boy at times bochap my frn, who keep on toking to him. but boy is always answering calls, sms, or not listening. den i was there, walking behind them. at times teasing my frn. i can see tat, i am jus the supporting role, perhaps jus there to make sure the boy is nto alone. even after the movie, as we walkign off, my frn oni ask wat i wan for dinner, den continue toking to his boy. the part tat made mi felt worst is, when i about to leave, my frn jus "ok ok, bye bye".. in some sense like "my presence is not impt". he may not have meant it this way, but i felt it.

i am comparing him wif my uk frn, chris. perhaps, in the above case, chris is "my frn" while i'm the "boy". but i felt tat, chris would have handled the situation better. in a way tat, the 3rd party will not feel neglected. well, perhaps it the way ppl grow up n decide to behave/live.

nothign much to show.. have i gotten over him, or this ep, he din have much scenes for mi to take pix of? or... i'm realyl so bz?

got a lot of work issues to grumble.

1) i dun have much idea y is tis happening suddenly. on thurs, snr ask mi to update some cases. i discussed 1 case with her, but she dun get my pt. i told her, the user wanted to resolve a prob, but die die dun wan visit us. den she dun get the pt n keep asking mi to try again. ok, den i call. after calling, she actually declared i din pass the right msg. i sounded i jus wanna close case, instead of solving it. i jumped at her, telling her tat she dunno wat the user told mi. she diam diam..

2) she ask mi hwo coem a case not closed, n jus pending there. i told her, i'm waiting to find out, who resolved the case. den she say, waiting dun mean i cannot jus close the case, n let it pend 4ever... kauzz... say until like dat.. again machiam my fault. den i told her, last time i ask her, she say she will find out for mi. den she stunned.

these 2 times, sup is around... AND THEN, wat irritated mi most is... on thurs, i have to go for sch. b4 6pm, i asked openly if i can go earlier. no reply, i took it as silent consent. den i went off, after announcing i leaving. den as i reached ground flr of office, they called mi, demanding i go up again. WAT?? i went up, the sup reprimanded mi for not respecting snr, who is asst sup. i shld always ask snr for permission. den, snr said, ok i can go...

how does tat feel huh?? going up, to get a scolding, n going down in mins. can't they jus tell mi when i get backt o work the next day?? sighzz.. other reasons i oso dun wan mention.

n these day, sup seem to be picking on mi... i can oni say, i've lost ym respect for him being impartial..

den for snr.. i find her.. silly.. during work, i was chatting wif a developer about java stuff.. we chatted for abt 5 mins. den right after we ended, snr tok to tat new ger. it felt like.. snr was listening to our conversation.. den, today we working OT.. wah siao.. i felt so much discrimination. sup n snr came LATE. very late. machiam, early birds do morr work. den.. snr hor, actually oso secretly observe wat i do siazz... obvious observation... hahah.. somehow, jus observing, how far this helpdesk will stay cohesive...

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watching the show hosted by adam chen. it's abt rescuing of dogs. they are just SOO pitiful!! adam n the real rescuers went to find the stray dogs. den, the narrator said, u have to squat down, to reduce ur aggressiveness, wif them, and feed them food, to get into their gd books. den once they lower their guard, u can pick them up n pat them. they'll feel safer.

i support their cause, n happy tat it's easy for them to rescue the dogs.. but then, i scared tis part will b abused.. in such a way tat, dog haters will know how to entice dogs n... threaten them.. dogs are JUS SO TRUSTING! IT'S GOOD N BAD!! when the dog was rescued n patted, i was weeping.. it's so just trusting!! wat if those guys r jus hoax????

den as the dog is brought to kind souls' houses for a voluntary washup, i felt so happy for it.. it's been rescued, n in good hands... den as adam ended tat part wif the dog, i felt happy for it... n wept again... ;) now, anotehr dream of mine, is setup a home for the dogs... FOC.. for ppl who really abandoned n no 1 wanna them.. i dun care abt taboo n disabled dogs...

no longer expecting ppl to understand mi, no longer expecting ppl to read up my info. preferring to communicate verbally, rather than by internet. taking things easy, n let the flow smooth, i try to no longer rush into things, but let time develop the fruit for me.

did i mention abt a guy who i met, n we went into a lift? we have been keeping in touch since we met. he's busy guy, i know. at first, he'll send mi morning greetz, i'll reply wif mine. den gradually, i became the person to send, n he reply when he free. den, today, i sms him my new no, n ask him how is he wif his 39yo guy. he reply wif std msg, n ask mi call him back.

so i called. we chatted fine. i took the initiative to ask how was he wif tat 39 yo guy. den he ask mi, if i hope, he can b my bf. i replied "tat will b my hope". he oso ask mi y. i explained to him.. n he admitted, he dinno my thinking is tat matured liao. b4 we hung up, he thx mi for telling him certain thinsg : )

alright, bed time.

the lawyer show in singapore has ended...

take mi as a psycho lah... 2 bad he dun have any good fig yet

various poses of renfred's latin movements...

latin dancing

renfred, starting his latin dance..

the multi-talented renfred.. playing piano, participating in various international pageants, n showing us his house.... hey, he oso acted in drama b4...

final shot of him performing on stage, n posing.. last but not least... he's playing basketball.. hahah

renfred practising his singing

renfred posing for camera

renfred performing on stage...

introducing renfred, the cute campus superstar