tis morning, woke up.. roomate nvr go work again... den i prepare my things... wah... drizzling!!!

n last day of STREATS.. now i know, e loss of papers, n tv channel add to the sadness for 2005, my frns gone.. all ya, e long hidden truth of mi being unable to go overseas study..

at work, haqha.. my close frn praised tat i look attractive today... wif the hairstyle, my ndp dressingh :)

luckily my mum got cook.. if not, really dunno where tyo eat.

hehe b4 KO, got call a new guy from irc... he 30+ n seem quite onzz for swim.. chatted wif him on phone cos sms oni 1 lines here n there

i think he pretty keen to tok wif ppl 20 odd yo.. den chatted things.. n i went home..

i planned to buy e cooling tea, n some buns.. finally decided tat will bring them for bfast tmr... den went home.. alright, i was SOOO... hungry n famished siazz.. cos like i said i bought KFC.. but tat took 10$.. den think i shld not spend too much.. so ytday lunch, i bought 3 mini nasi lemak, n a watermelon.. abt 1.8$ oni.. den.. later after KO, cannot tahan liaozz...

rushed family for dinner.. took quite an amt.. but avg for my own intakes :)...

hehe.. embarassing, but the water now is so COLD tat at home, i din bathe 2 dys liaozz.. all along been washing hair oni.. wah, so cold... den at family there, i took bath :) n washed hair,... finally... i thot :)

went home... n found some of my stuff kept liaozz.. but when i was moving my stuff aroyund, haha.. they dropped out.. hehe.. ok, rommmate did msg mi tat he clean up the place, but tat was when i reached family for dinner... he said "good evening... er" sounded so funny... LOL

den later i watched TV, and slept... while burning cds.. i think i finally got it... i mean hwo to edit with the new software...

den tonight, gonna fix aunt PC, and den go chiong... ready to party tonight... n even ready for some hot sex either wif a master (wink) or a regular sexmate..

at home, stayed home all the way.. n lived once again on my own.. dun ask abt where my rommmate has been.. i duno oso... all i know is that, i thnk he came back last night, took some things, den went out again.. i asked him if he's still working.. he say yes... den i ask if his shift in night, he dun say anythign... nvm.. jus have to ensure he pay mi the rent by the deadline, if not, i will be firm for sure.

den this morning, i went off for work as usual... woke up on tiem... den jerked off... within 5 minutes.. yes i know, cos i paused my alarm clock, den i took the time to jerk off.. den alarm rang again.. so i know it;s within 5 mins...

now, w/o any roommate around, once again, it feel like i living by myself.. prety nice :)

i kinda din feel anything for r/s liaozz... but this time, i wonder if i will oso kena the "not ready for r/s yet" mentality...

anyway, these days, when i see yandaoz or cuties, i dun have the urge to know them more or keen on them anymore. have i grown up? Or have i been affected negatively?

so ytday i got home... called my mum n know that she not cooking. so had to settle my dinner outside.. troubling over wat i shld eat for my dinner.. den thot of taking the god-forbid kfc.. still pretty nice.. but after so long never take.. i kinda not tat keen to take it liao.. although i still enjoy the taste of it :D

den went home.. n was prepared to watch charmed... kauz!!! it's not telecast!!!!!!!! the damn soccer show took over!!!!!!! arghzz.. den settled for other shows...

looking at the PC, i could have become almost doing nothing, but decided to edit my videos... wah lioazz... editing is pretty much a chore too.. cos... the software is freeware.. den really muz think n think n investigate which option is the one i need.. but hor.. kinda funny... anyway, i managed to crop the video still, but den, the turnout video is 1GB+?? when the original video is <1 GB??

i kinda cut the video into half... the video was < 1GB, but the result vide is 1GB+???? wha liaozz... n somemore, got different compression formats ... wah coolll./.. or rather, trobulesome :)

i really hope i din affect my colleague's decision...

she felt troubled n i tok to her... den i advised her from my POV... saying things like.. if she's not happy in a r/s, den why stay put there? a r/s is supposed to be happy, if it does not make her so, why stick on to it?

umm.. although my love life has not been smooth... am i in a position to tell her?

anyway, jus hope things are fine for her.. she pretty affected by past r/s tat she dun dare make a firm choice... thus, struggling with this...

strange... my msn is getting more n more contacts... i'm supposed to be more for icq.. but now, office ppl ,and new guys all use msn..

a long time ago knew liao frn.. or acquaintance.. ask mi out for dinner... when i first knew him couple a years back.. he was friendly to me... met at a wall climbing session... he brought mi there... but din tok much..

den this time, he ask mi for dinner.. n treated mi to it too.. and later we went to a bar which.. i did not know it exist haha.. inside there, got a fair skinned chinese-looking guy working... haha.. i asked for his name - Pas... or somehting like tat.. he is definitely not local.. more like filipino... cos his accent.. n he cant really speak the language well..

all he can do was to smile... haha... n while in the bar, i kept looking at him hehe..

n b4 we left, i patted his shoulder and waved goodbye to him.. smiling.. after i exited, i wnana go loo first... n ehhe there he is... coming out from the toilet.. n smiled again..

oh ya, when i first smiled at him, he was kinda startled and turned away his gaze while smiling...

after finishing toilet, i exited form bar again, n he there, picking the glasses... but i did look at him liaozz... hehe...

liaozz.. den on the bus, got a lady.. those young n vibrant type.. sit beside mi.. almost like wanna physical contact...

n this frn of mine, said i am diff from most ppl he met.. i am more down to earth while, others are rather arrogant and self centred...

monday.. wah liao, monday blues siazz.. no mood to work at all.. felt like takign some time off.. but damn.. jus went off for work again... n rommmate is stil sleeping...

at work, kena suan by a colleauge kauzz... den tok to a frn of mine for advice... haha,.. she damn busy n we met up for dinner... mum is cooking, so i dun wanna eat.. but later, still cant resist n took deer meat...

den later, suddenly she wnana go ktv.. hah. siao onzz.. den i oso go... haha.. long time no go ktv wif her liaozz.. quite refreshing n quite odd feeling.. not used to the way she behave... den sing till too excited.. dun wan go home for dinner... in end, spent 3 hrs at ktv.. hahaha... pretty fun...

den finally went back.. took dinner or rather supper first at home... but damn it.. wat is the home like now???

i was eating, den my mum told me there a letter for mi from lawyer.. look urgent, so they opened it. GOSH.. THAT'S MY LETTER!!!!

i really dun understand my family.............................................. what's the urgency here that they MUST open the letter without telling mi??????????????????????

somehow i rmb i did update some mroe things into my blog.. but strange, it did not show.

anyway, arrived at home abt 5+.. took supper... n chatted there... den got home to bathe... haha.. wore oni shorts n slept there.. slept 6+... woke 8, 9, 11, 12... finally woke up.. den they supposed ot be surfing net, but end up watchign videos siazz..

den they left.. n i surfing nt n using PC at home.. den hor, i was trying the video editng sofware.. quite good lah.. den oso trying out the various account types.. but DAMN!!!! i was trying the backup operator.. and sudenly the desktop customisation are all gone!!!!!1

wah liao!! wat happened?? den had to let rommate use the admin account... but dunno if he know it.. cos he still using guest...

den decided not to take anymore meals. n went off for gathering wif frns. ehhe.. i thto i was late.. but den, i wait for 10 mins, den got ppl come.. hehe...

during the meal, a sec frn passed a msg to mi from Oz... "GAYBOY"

haha.. had a fulfilling buffet steamboat... ate lotsa again... but then... i realised i din iron my shirts yet... wah liao.. den later, we suddenly wnana go movie.. watch kungfu.. haha.. rushed for the las train. n the show is pretty fun.. :) din realise tat i will get home so late siazz in the end, after ironing, i slept at 1+.. roommate almost sleeping..

umm.. jus uploaded my pictures.. taken with traditional cams... into the website..

at the chiong pt, tok n chatted..took beer oso.. quite a nice n colling place... but wah liao, always got tat 3) guy toking to mi, n thinking he oh-so-humorous...

took a light dinner.. n went for clubbing... went too early... there is no one at all...

went upstairs to rest... and chatted.. den soemone who i personally dislike... cos according to frn, he accused mi of something... he came up to our level, but i ignored him...

my frn supposed to join us, but too bad the queue was LLOOOOOOOOONG, so he went away. i wanna find him, but he dun wan.. asking mi to enjoy my time.. ok loh...

we wanna go down, but the place was jus 2 crowded... i was not even able to balance myself and i went off soon... rested n chatted more in tat place... den later, had fun teasing and toking... tat new guy kinda... fun loh,. still veli childish.. he say he used to walking fast, so i challenged him hqha.. he really rushed like mad isazz!!

den after the chionging, went for "debrief" and wah liao, tat 3) stil so touchy wif mi...

den we went our way home... the new guy had wanna take bus.. but later decided he 2 tired to take it n took cab instead.

den liao ... those ppl who going home wif mi... they take their own sweet time n took quick snacks.. den i keep pushing them to walk faster... cos i dun wan miss last bus.. but they still sighzz...

but we still managed to board a buss. haha.. n a frn was kinda cruised by a lesbian... a gay frn!! den all the way they were resting.. i was look n watching... got some bengs (who give mi feeling tat they are NSFs) they kep looking our direction.. ahha... nvm abt tat...

on xmas eve, i brought my gift for my date... took the time to wrap it up for him... even stayed back there to finish wrapping up...

den joined my frn for gathering at his frn's house..

cos my date is travelling overseas for xmas, i planned to surprise him by arriving at his place, when he jus came back from trip... den wah liao... thigns cock up... din manage to pass him the thing, i was frustrated, and almost din enjoy my xmas eve.. stayed very quiet and isolated, but abt 1 hr before xmas, i managed to pull myself together again.

to think i was so silent for 4 hours... from 7pm to 11pm. Frns have been trying to get me into the mood, but I simply lost it. Drank liquor to kill the mood. into the MN, a guy kinda... bathed n changed in front of us.. and later he told our fortune with his tarot card. i ask for it as well.

during this session, realised quite a bit about my future... n told him wat i was told in the past as well. kinda know what's gonna b my future. tarot seem more like telling u what;s gonna happen in near future, while facial n palm is more like rounded.

after the session, i kinda confided in him wat happened... n also expressed my interest to... know him personally...

den all of us went to sleep... and the next morning, went for bfast... strange though.. seem like i was not tat welcome.. cos...

cos everytime i had to think of topics and start the chat.. they seldom did. seldom involved mi in their talks as well.

so, just as we left the place, i decided not to tok anymore... unless they initiated it. and true enough, no 1 bothered abt mi. i walked right in front of them.. i mena a few metres away.

came home... n thot of having a good rest... cos the eve wasn't that great. but i din wanna join my good frn's party... due to some personal conflicts.

but when i got home, i simply can't rest... forgot wat i did, but i went to irc... i was honry... chatted there... n got someone keen to get over here.. someone was outside and wanna get ppl to join in for xmas... n someone who THINK HE IS HOT STUFF N PUT ON ATTITUDE.

1) tat someone keen to come over, he live near mi... he came over... n it's was not tat hot, but more to les than an avg enjoyable scene...

2) the guy outside, he was bored for xmasn wanna find ppl to go out.. ok loh.. can go out oso.. cos i dun wan stay home, n i dun wan call ppl out oso...

3) the attitude guy... i show him my picture, n gave my number, he called mi with private line.. i not free... den after hanging up, as a good gresture, i praised tat he sound sexy. den attitude came. he told mi tat to get his number, i have to give him a bigger picture...

i asked, why. he said "cos he is hot property". comeon, get a life! why shld i give him wat he want?? I gave him 2 items, he din even wanna give 1, and think he's hot?? wat's worse, he even threatened to post my number on the main window if i dun give him?? what' kinda guy is he???

i told him off... n posted his msg on the main widnow. den i told him there's no point if he's insincere. den he said, it's my loss. huh??? well, i'm not desperate.

after meeting 1) i went off to meet 2).

along the way, i called my good frn... haha.. do i wanna address him in this way?? dunno... n he's at home, watching TV. i asked him out... to join us... haah.. first time i called him so directly.. forgetting all unhappiness i had with him..

he's coming, den i called another person.. who's supposed to have lotsa time... hehe.. true, he is alone n spending xmas at home LOL.. asked him out loh.. den when i got there, the guy is there... and he got another person wif him.. haha.. tat other person oso from irc... umm.. i guess i continue writing.. no need to write another page..

chatted with 3) and new guy... 3) is actually .. somoene who i met before..

new guy.. not bad, can click wif him.. den... 3) supposed to meet a new person.. but thi person.. 20+ yo, jus show attitude.. he keep saying cant find us,... when finally saw us, he lost his temper and stormed. i saw him n shouted for him.. he pretended not to hear. oh well.

den 3) called him.. pissed, i screamed "jus now say got many entrances when there's oni 1! saw us and went off loh! shout for him oso din hear us loh.." simply pissed at him..

later 3) still called n met him.. well, for mi, i simply dun bother myself abt him... when 3) got him n intro us, i oso bochap him n take as transparent. then we all jus went off to enjoy our time...

had wnana watch show,. but no seats.. sighzz.. den all the way went to our chiong point :D

hehe.. realisd tat i din update my blog for quite some time... i oso dunno y... maybe dunnno wat to write...

actually, i did think may be troublesome to keep updating...

chey!! i checked my blog, i updated everyday!! but.. i guess i din update wat hppened in my life, more to my eelings n thots of the world/life/career....

anyway, tuesday, i toked to my roommate, n setteld some issues... but i wonder if i was 2 harsh in my words... i know i'm right to tok to him abt thigs, but do i have to b so stern? checking wif frns...

umm.. i jus checked the sun education centre, jobs site... my thoughts, career, interet n bla bla... i guess i really keen to go for it... but udno how long this field can last.. sianzz... i know if i gonna tak ejava, i shld go for java job..

but i wonder if i can make it... or still end up in helpdesk..............

umm... haha.. last night took soem tang yuan... but sad tat, my family now decided not to make but to buy from marts... sianzz... den wat the whole point?? such thigns, can get from mart anytime.

even reunion dinner oso can skip lioa... cos we have it almost every wk....

well, din really fee like saying wat happened past days...

anyway, hope someone can buy mi a portable fm tuner.. tuner is top priority.. other functions don't matter...

sunday night... i think i slept early... a frn called mi, but nothing much to tok...

den monday morning, woke up n suddenly dun feel like going for work. decided to take 1 day MC. n kinda planned for my day... will go irc chat for 1 hr, den go take MC, den call Sun java ot check on the course modules. den go swim.. n lastly, meet up my date.

in irc, pretty quiet..., so went to see doc.. wah, wait 1 hr to see siaz.. den went home, n brought my dog down for walk. den went off for my swim.. not so crowded this time. but hor, today got 1 old man cruising.. wha liaozz.. his way of cruising is so damn obvious loh!!

swim in triangular route, den pause a while to look at ppl. wha liao... i swam to other side of pool to avoid him.. den oso got ppl wif nice bod n skin tone lah :)

den after swim, i bought bread to take for my lunch.. kinda sick of those meals... so take bread better. took a bus there... wha liaozz, at this hr, can really see ppl from all walks of life siazz... the bus i took.. think go by the long way.. 45 min later arrive at my destination..

kauzz.. i jus done wiht my swiming, so i in veli veli casual dressing.. den when i entered the office building.. wah liao, i feel so "outstanding" cos oni mi in the type of attire siazz... den... hehe.. the staff there.. a mid age lady i guess,, thot i still in army!! i kinda flattered! LOL..

den when tat ended, i asked if my date can come look for mi, for pre-xmas... 2 bad, he NA. so i made my way back to home loh.. den on the bus, a guy... hah.. my gaydar is not workign... strangely, moved up to mi, until i can almost touch his pte...

den when i alighted, i went home directly for dinner.. n went home.. called a frn, but his hp never ans.. called another frn to arrange for xmas outing...

jus den, a so called ... i mean i had wanna take him as my good frn, but 2 bad he dun appreciate... he mass msg mi to join his frn's xmasparty... so insincere...

1) if it's his frn, why is he inviting mi?
2) if he know mi, why can't he invite directly?
3) n he's doing mass msg'ing.. alright loh... i shan't care abt him...

i think i gonna focus on my java studies. for now, ok, last week, i did get a job offer for onsite post. but till now, no reply.. if really so jialut, i gonna focus on my java, den get a helpdesk or programming job, for monash, i gonna defer it again... sianzz... i wonder if will come to a pt when i totally dun wan monash anymore...

surprise... i got a complaint post from someone... hahah... really surprising...

tonite, shrek 1 is showing... in the morning, i was thinking... ill jus stay home n watch it.. if he ask mi out (IF), i'll tell i wanna watch the show.

but... at this point.. i dunno... not even sure if he'll bother to ask.

not sure when i'll update again... perhaps when i'm better?

anyway, i went swimming sudenly on sat morning... saw someone who seem tob e from my unit, but he said not.

come to think of it (since i've kinda cooled down), my date seem to... still bother to treat mi as someone who he care for... but he... either dun wan to show it, or he's holding it back...

had promised to buy him a xmas gift... thinking abt the happy times, it kinda erased... or overwhelmed the bad ones... as for the unhappiness, i'll tok to him abt it...