long time nvr do exercises...
deciding to buy my desired IT gadgets
checking out my future career
cehcking out possible internet plans
n finding out the good mobile plans...
wondering when i can move back HOME
really feel VERY sick of the job... perhaps due to its stagnant nature?
i now reading books on EQ. had wanna read on PR bks, but found these instead. " Trust & betrayal in the workplace" and " EQ development : from success to significance" are good books. " Social cognition" does not really suit me. the first 2 showed egs of ppl who empathise wif those around him, making a better person. n how to build trust n confidence in ur dept, cos if u dun show faith or trust in ur colleague's aibilities n work, they wun do their best.
well, i think this is happening to mi. in my job
den today, really surprising.. n i wonder if i am SENSITIVE... a good frn from poly actually working in HSBC as FINANCIAL PLANNER. he called mi up asking for meetup. haha, upon hearing he working as adviser, i immedaitel have the feeling he's gonna be hardselling again... another person who gonna hardsell. my opinion is, if u asking ppl out for lunch, n they dunno wat u working as, DUN EVER reveal ur work nature.
even if u muz, dun mention it over dinner. mention it only after 3/4 of a meeting, so tat, u'll appear u nto meeting the frn wif selling products in mind...more like jus informing the frn u r in the biz, n hope he can support u. ya, mi now oni tok cock nia. cos.. havn even start n got all thes cocks to tok.
n now, i'm, really serious in going overseas for xmas... now oni see when my frns r free, n when i can take leave... wah, first time i go myself.. so exciting@
toking abt frns, i'm kinda confued now. cos, perhaps i was influenced soemhow. but i feel tat it's my right to do it. u see, some frns who pissed mi off till the point i really give up hope. these r ppl who i dun wan stay in contact at all. wanna leave them outta my life. but right now, given my situation n how hypocritic some frnships can b, i really wodner if, i can get in touch wif them once more. but this time, i ONI TREAT them as acquaintance... ppl who i dun need to b so trusting n truthful. they dun need to know the truth in watever i do, n i dun need to b 2 frank n sincere to them. it may b the usual way frnships r, but to mi, it';s FAKE.
see how, after all, since some ppl cannot take the truth, i have been wondering its value for them...
den hor, saw from TODAY paper that, ppl r discussing heatedly over the naming of sch, roads n landmarks. i thot it's oni gonna b a 1 or 2 letters responding to it. wah expect such a fuss over it. comeon, wat does a name have in it?? it's for humans to refer. oni if sonmeone contributed to it, or it's due to some great works, den it's useful n historical to give it a meaninful name. if not, it's jus ANOTHER name.
does Creative hold any significance to anything? Other than its original meaning?
Does Lot 1 mall mean anything?
Does Heeren/taka mean anything?
was also amused by some replies in TODAY too. started off wif a ger (no bias here is eant, thus ger is better word) wearing jeans n casual attire, not of a typical female attire, ie skirt, blouse, tube (like i know wat it's.) the group of gers den complained tat it's ladies night, so y reject the ger, just cos of the way she dresses? i din feel much, jus unhappy wif how the staff deal wif it. den today, got 1 mail replying to a reply to tat letter. this mail was saying, some issues, i din realise the whole story till i check the new groups/
the reply was saying, the ger shld know better tat since it's ladies night, it's obvious tat the theme was to have gers inside the bar, and men will come flocking in. if she wants to enter teh bar, she shld have dressed in a better manner, instead of such lesbian/butch wear. ending wif, if u wnana enter the pub, play by its rules.
(hehe, as i am reading the reply, i have some things to say...)
den the mail was reply, the reply made women sound so cheapskate, going in when it's free entry. if the purpsoe is to seduce/attract lusty males into the pub, then oni women clad in skinwear shld enter. those without a good figure can b left out.
to mi, (obviously?) the reply was aimed at gay issues. but on wat grounds did the bar reject the entry? was the ger a transexual? did the IC state her sexuality as F/M? if it's F, why isn't she allowed entry? butch? wat'st eh definition? mus she wear a skirt or blouse to flaunt her beauty? is there a STATED dresscode?
it's a ladies night, whereby all females shld b allowed entry. it's not the customers' responsiblity or obligation to ensure they r dressed in certain way that can attract male clients. so why stick the duty of "ladies shld attract guys" on the ger? unless the bar states "oni ladies dressed in an appropriate manner will be allowed entry" hahaha...
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
(quite a lot of things to say today)
Location: home
was thnking of blogging happenings of the day... but suddenly VELI hungry, eat the laksa instant mee, oso not veli full yet.. damn.
so funnie, sent a heart to someone in fridae, den he returned it, n realised we jus live beside ech other. n met up wif him on 2nd day haah... wow, his hse has quite a lot of dogs siazz.. din expect hdb area to keep so many dogs.
i supposed to meet a sec frn for dinner.. cos we both long time no go out liao. den took the chance/time to meet up. cos it;s my FIRST time to meet him oni among our sec frns, i find it refreshing... n the first 1 hr we met, he was quite reserved. probably due to us not so close kind. during our dinner, we toked a bit... i told him b4 abt my plan to go into financial planning aka insurance. or rather, discussed. den hor, suddenly, he intro mi to MLM. i was zat teo. i know i totally not keen in it. but he IS PERSISTENT. keep asking mi n persuading mi. he was almost like just repeating his line... unknowingly lah.. n i know to make $$, he wun give up so easily. so i decided to go wif him to the seminar... so tat at least he will give up on mi.
got there, and visited here there. i simply not keen loh. so jus casually tok to them. i know i not good at acting, but oni good wif words. but i still tried. i got bad exp wif MLM but i told the ppl i nvr tried MLM. but i forgot 1 thing. dunno if they discovered anot lah. later i really rejected my frn intro n just wanna go off. i gave the excuse tat i not free. as we left the plc, i knw tat, if this frn cant ctrl his eq, it means he'll b veli quiet, cos he just lost a biz deal. but he did tok to mi loh.
i have a lot of things to tell him, but it's pretty hurtting, so prefer to keep within mi. now i knw y ppl wanna shun such MLM ppl. n i understand my frns' intentions when i wanna go in the other time. back home, he msn mi: how much is 2nd hand stuff. i feel tat, somehow he seem to test water oni. testing if i still reply him n take him as frn. he did oso tell mi usual stuff like "he take mi a frn so intro mi" n "plan to intro other ppl in as well, if i joined".
well, i can oni say, for insurance, i knw y i going in. for MLM, it's basically merely a partime job which dun really atract mi.
=========================
Location: office
taking some time to blog lah. dun care if network admin find out anot.
i finally made my first move to contct the agent who ask mi join her. luckily,my role here cannt access data of clients, if not i bang my head. she told mi some news. now i pretty keen. although i not prepared to take any more exams, but i not surprised tat i need to take 1 if i really go into it. dates have been set. wif my tech knowledge, n my POV, i hope to make it big. haha...
den hor, yesteryda, wah liao, pretty fed up. heard over lunch tat, my job agency really cheat us contract workers lotsa cold hard cash!!! i earning oni meagre sum. den when i hear ppl from other depts earning 2-** times more than mi, wah i really dui. i really dunno th diff btwn our caps. maybe i really lack confidence, or lack the knowledge and foresight to do future planning. i jus tke things as it goes.. but now, wif the direction of IT, i begin to really check my route.
IT helpdesk is not a job for long term. i mean firt level. if it's inhse program, ok, u can stay there n advance within. but u need more certs to go further. now i got java, which ithink iwill make use... try to at least. den insurance.... well, it's a plan of mine, cos i still need to check if... i still need to adjust my mentality. i now getting better lah. getting more to be myself, getting funnier n relaxed.
funny,. the more i tink of it, the more i find it true of myself. u know, if i totally no interest in sokething, no amount of persuading or hard selling can soften mi. but if i find it to be worthwhile, i will really go into it. cos.. think of insur n MLM. my frn wanna mi go MLM, i si beh not keen. now, i calling up the agent, to find the route to being adviser, they got seminar next wk. i know i'll go, n my aim is to really find out details of it, n watever. perhaps it';s my stubbornness?
but hor, haha... ytday, i almost wanna come out to a cranky jnr colleaue siazz. but no gd chance. den this morning, or whole day... i bene doing not much. the new cso guy he's wokring n learning mor ethings. while i just si back n relax haha. well, i shan;t b bothered. cos i dun intend to stay long. i'm doing my job. i dun intend to learn 2 much.
e oni grumble is tat, whenever it comes to pssing instructions to mi, they tend to really take mi as a blur king n tell mi this tat, wat to do, how to do. n hor, when i wanna try out helping them fix compuer problem, they bochap n say "nvm lqh".
i oso wonder if lies n unhappiness is everywhere siazz.. just now i helping user do someting. e jnr suggested changing the language of the system. i find it odd, cos it's not the root, but she insiste. ok loh. i jus try. cos now, i dun see the pt in enforcing my idea, will just try wat she wan.
the funny part is, she say the user qujite ok 1, just explain to him the issue, etc he is ok 1. den later, i was trying to see if i can fidn the cause of the problem, she came over n say "wat u doing? if u dun call him back, n play around wif the system, later he unhappy n complain."
hahah, i find it funy. cos she herself can tke the time to find the cause of a [rpblem, but when the prob cant b solved, i try to see wat i can do, she tell mi dun play around. but she did mention the person is nice to tok to, but later tell mi he may complain if it take 2 long?
oh, n den just now as i doing some tests for my job, wah, liao i really lose interest sizz.z.. find it so repetitive n nvr endin. somehow i feel tat here, the ppl aren;'t really tat smart enuff to climb up the corporate ladder. cos, both keep complaining abt the life. i feel diff form them, cos i actually see thru wat;s going on lah. liek they grumble y the person like tis, tat, den i jus keep quiet, cos i knw wat happened.
i oso have the impression tat moving aroundlife suit mi more, cos i;m someone who dun like to move around, unless it;s needed, or i'm tempted to. so if my job jus need mi to stay at my desk, i will just stay n dun move around. but if i moving all day i either get tired, or i enjoy, cos i;m enjoyingthe scnerary. n have the chance to work, as i tour singapore
Location: home
was thnking of blogging happenings of the day... but suddenly VELI hungry, eat the laksa instant mee, oso not veli full yet.. damn.
so funnie, sent a heart to someone in fridae, den he returned it, n realised we jus live beside ech other. n met up wif him on 2nd day haah... wow, his hse has quite a lot of dogs siazz.. din expect hdb area to keep so many dogs.
i supposed to meet a sec frn for dinner.. cos we both long time no go out liao. den took the chance/time to meet up. cos it;s my FIRST time to meet him oni among our sec frns, i find it refreshing... n the first 1 hr we met, he was quite reserved. probably due to us not so close kind. during our dinner, we toked a bit... i told him b4 abt my plan to go into financial planning aka insurance. or rather, discussed. den hor, suddenly, he intro mi to MLM. i was zat teo. i know i totally not keen in it. but he IS PERSISTENT. keep asking mi n persuading mi. he was almost like just repeating his line... unknowingly lah.. n i know to make $$, he wun give up so easily. so i decided to go wif him to the seminar... so tat at least he will give up on mi.
got there, and visited here there. i simply not keen loh. so jus casually tok to them. i know i not good at acting, but oni good wif words. but i still tried. i got bad exp wif MLM but i told the ppl i nvr tried MLM. but i forgot 1 thing. dunno if they discovered anot lah. later i really rejected my frn intro n just wanna go off. i gave the excuse tat i not free. as we left the plc, i knw tat, if this frn cant ctrl his eq, it means he'll b veli quiet, cos he just lost a biz deal. but he did tok to mi loh.
i have a lot of things to tell him, but it's pretty hurtting, so prefer to keep within mi. now i knw y ppl wanna shun such MLM ppl. n i understand my frns' intentions when i wanna go in the other time. back home, he msn mi: how much is 2nd hand stuff. i feel tat, somehow he seem to test water oni. testing if i still reply him n take him as frn. he did oso tell mi usual stuff like "he take mi a frn so intro mi" n "plan to intro other ppl in as well, if i joined".
well, i can oni say, for insurance, i knw y i going in. for MLM, it's basically merely a partime job which dun really atract mi.
=========================
Location: office
taking some time to blog lah. dun care if network admin find out anot.
i finally made my first move to contct the agent who ask mi join her. luckily,my role here cannt access data of clients, if not i bang my head. she told mi some news. now i pretty keen. although i not prepared to take any more exams, but i not surprised tat i need to take 1 if i really go into it. dates have been set. wif my tech knowledge, n my POV, i hope to make it big. haha...
den hor, yesteryda, wah liao, pretty fed up. heard over lunch tat, my job agency really cheat us contract workers lotsa cold hard cash!!! i earning oni meagre sum. den when i hear ppl from other depts earning 2-** times more than mi, wah i really dui. i really dunno th diff btwn our caps. maybe i really lack confidence, or lack the knowledge and foresight to do future planning. i jus tke things as it goes.. but now, wif the direction of IT, i begin to really check my route.
IT helpdesk is not a job for long term. i mean firt level. if it's inhse program, ok, u can stay there n advance within. but u need more certs to go further. now i got java, which ithink iwill make use... try to at least. den insurance.... well, it's a plan of mine, cos i still need to check if... i still need to adjust my mentality. i now getting better lah. getting more to be myself, getting funnier n relaxed.
funny,. the more i tink of it, the more i find it true of myself. u know, if i totally no interest in sokething, no amount of persuading or hard selling can soften mi. but if i find it to be worthwhile, i will really go into it. cos.. think of insur n MLM. my frn wanna mi go MLM, i si beh not keen. now, i calling up the agent, to find the route to being adviser, they got seminar next wk. i know i'll go, n my aim is to really find out details of it, n watever. perhaps it';s my stubbornness?
but hor, haha... ytday, i almost wanna come out to a cranky jnr colleaue siazz. but no gd chance. den this morning, or whole day... i bene doing not much. the new cso guy he's wokring n learning mor ethings. while i just si back n relax haha. well, i shan;t b bothered. cos i dun intend to stay long. i'm doing my job. i dun intend to learn 2 much.
e oni grumble is tat, whenever it comes to pssing instructions to mi, they tend to really take mi as a blur king n tell mi this tat, wat to do, how to do. n hor, when i wanna try out helping them fix compuer problem, they bochap n say "nvm lqh".
i oso wonder if lies n unhappiness is everywhere siazz.. just now i helping user do someting. e jnr suggested changing the language of the system. i find it odd, cos it's not the root, but she insiste. ok loh. i jus try. cos now, i dun see the pt in enforcing my idea, will just try wat she wan.
the funny part is, she say the user qujite ok 1, just explain to him the issue, etc he is ok 1. den later, i was trying to see if i can fidn the cause of the problem, she came over n say "wat u doing? if u dun call him back, n play around wif the system, later he unhappy n complain."
hahah, i find it funy. cos she herself can tke the time to find the cause of a [rpblem, but when the prob cant b solved, i try to see wat i can do, she tell mi dun play around. but she did mention the person is nice to tok to, but later tell mi he may complain if it take 2 long?
oh, n den just now as i doing some tests for my job, wah, liao i really lose interest sizz.z.. find it so repetitive n nvr endin. somehow i feel tat here, the ppl aren;'t really tat smart enuff to climb up the corporate ladder. cos, both keep complaining abt the life. i feel diff form them, cos i actually see thru wat;s going on lah. liek they grumble y the person like tis, tat, den i jus keep quiet, cos i knw wat happened.
i oso have the impression tat moving aroundlife suit mi more, cos i;m someone who dun like to move around, unless it;s needed, or i'm tempted to. so if my job jus need mi to stay at my desk, i will just stay n dun move around. but if i moving all day i either get tired, or i enjoy, cos i;m enjoyingthe scnerary. n have the chance to work, as i tour singapore
Saturday, November 05, 2005
haha, sometimes i fidn it strange. when u hate or dislike something, u tend to put a link to the page that you had such feelings for. but then, if u realyl dun like it, why bother put up the link? it'll jus generate interest. u know, bad publicity is better than no publicity. if u say soemthing is bad, n give a link, ppl usually visit it to check out wat's wrong. it'll generate interest. esp when u feel it dun really have the content to call for such attention.
umm... skip the sad side a while.
ahah, i swam today, den hor, i was actually attracted to a hubby, who's guiding his toddler boy how to swim. cos the boy was using a float, n wearing tights, i somehow, at first, thot tat the hubby was an instructor. den gradually, realise it's dad-son. dad wearing those metallic finish goggles. clean face. got slight tummy, but tone body. haha, my eyes r usually on him siazz... till he left the pool for the slide, n sauna.
den quite surprisingly, today... ya it's sch holiday. den got a group of 6 sec sch BOYS playing water. some wearing bermuda kinda pants. they having fun in the pool. but den, kauzz, 1 guy was abt 10 cm from his group, i was swimming to wards this guy, den i really dunno if i shld swim which way siazz, cos skali i swim, den he move again. den i said "sorry" firmly to him. he stunned n moved. haha, funni part is, his kinda "beng" frn den swam up to mi, to see my face. i bochap them totally.
however, later on, maybe i 2 sensitive, they keeping getting at my way. but well, they r having fun together, so i can oni swim away. i got a feeling, if i tell them off again, they will fight back.
==================
these days, i really wonder.. wat's the diff % frn n lover? both shld b similar in many ways. but latter can offer sex, understanding, support? somehow, for most of my relns, they seem to leave once they not happy or find someone better. for mi, i'm pretty persistent. not willing to give up without a fight. perhaps 'cos i believe in communications.
====================
*GOSH, I WAS POSTING YTDAY, DEN SUDDENLY BLOGSPOT SEEM TO HAVE SERVER PROBLEM. ALL MY UPDATES R GONE FROM TIS POINT ON!!*
shall write wat i rmb:
commercial awards presentation. a singer jus came out wif a new album, n entered into the competition as well. n hor SYZ tis time, she seem to act cute wif her voice. is she imitating jolin?
i'm quite used to telling the truth. but at times, when things dun appear as simple as it seems to b, i try to tell truth, but end up ppl misjudge mi n think of mi badly. like, when i have my reasons for doing something, den when tell them the truth, they think i dun value them. got 1 time, got 3 groups of frns ask mi out for NY coutndown. 2 groups cancel last min, den i go for the 3rd group. i told 1 guy the truth, den he was like taken aback by my rsponse...
so now, i'll judge who r the ones i can tell teh truth... but i think, i'll b frank wif all i know... unless i fidn they r lying to mi...
lastly, i put up links to various interpretations of my zodiac sign. somehow, now i blif in the readings of the zodiac sign liao... cos it really tell abt mi internal feelings n thots. i was suppressing myself a lot... haha, due to various reasons...
umm... skip the sad side a while.
ahah, i swam today, den hor, i was actually attracted to a hubby, who's guiding his toddler boy how to swim. cos the boy was using a float, n wearing tights, i somehow, at first, thot tat the hubby was an instructor. den gradually, realise it's dad-son. dad wearing those metallic finish goggles. clean face. got slight tummy, but tone body. haha, my eyes r usually on him siazz... till he left the pool for the slide, n sauna.
den quite surprisingly, today... ya it's sch holiday. den got a group of 6 sec sch BOYS playing water. some wearing bermuda kinda pants. they having fun in the pool. but den, kauzz, 1 guy was abt 10 cm from his group, i was swimming to wards this guy, den i really dunno if i shld swim which way siazz, cos skali i swim, den he move again. den i said "sorry" firmly to him. he stunned n moved. haha, funni part is, his kinda "beng" frn den swam up to mi, to see my face. i bochap them totally.
however, later on, maybe i 2 sensitive, they keeping getting at my way. but well, they r having fun together, so i can oni swim away. i got a feeling, if i tell them off again, they will fight back.
==================
these days, i really wonder.. wat's the diff % frn n lover? both shld b similar in many ways. but latter can offer sex, understanding, support? somehow, for most of my relns, they seem to leave once they not happy or find someone better. for mi, i'm pretty persistent. not willing to give up without a fight. perhaps 'cos i believe in communications.
====================
*GOSH, I WAS POSTING YTDAY, DEN SUDDENLY BLOGSPOT SEEM TO HAVE SERVER PROBLEM. ALL MY UPDATES R GONE FROM TIS POINT ON!!*
shall write wat i rmb:
commercial awards presentation. a singer jus came out wif a new album, n entered into the competition as well. n hor SYZ tis time, she seem to act cute wif her voice. is she imitating jolin?
i'm quite used to telling the truth. but at times, when things dun appear as simple as it seems to b, i try to tell truth, but end up ppl misjudge mi n think of mi badly. like, when i have my reasons for doing something, den when tell them the truth, they think i dun value them. got 1 time, got 3 groups of frns ask mi out for NY coutndown. 2 groups cancel last min, den i go for the 3rd group. i told 1 guy the truth, den he was like taken aback by my rsponse...
so now, i'll judge who r the ones i can tell teh truth... but i think, i'll b frank wif all i know... unless i fidn they r lying to mi...
lastly, i put up links to various interpretations of my zodiac sign. somehow, now i blif in the readings of the zodiac sign liao... cos it really tell abt mi internal feelings n thots. i was suppressing myself a lot... haha, due to various reasons...
Friday, November 04, 2005
ahha, although i'm not 1 of those VELI popular blogs in the world, i'm pretty glad i have some faithful readers. although i dunno who u r... (ahah, n even wondering if i shld thx u cos u r reading my private life details, or shld u thx mi instead for sharing my life wif u haha) but i still glad u keep on reading :)
i think it's time to really give myself a break. i just realised today, i suddenly got 3.5 days leave remaining. thot was oni 1 or 1.5 oni. intend to, for this xmas, go Oz find my pals.to seek solace n to enjoy time wif them, n cheer up them n boost their morales!!! i VERY great hor ?! =D
den, as i plan to open up diff accts in various banks to facilitate fund transfer, i check ocbc/posb etc. kauzz... ocbc hor, it says minimum is $1 mthly balance. den it say mthly balance muz b 500$ if dun wan kena 2$ admin charge?? wah liao...
sometimes, i post pictures of interest to my blog. these usually generate HIGH traffice to my site. haha, am i using it to promote traffic? dunno.. m i unscrupulous? ahhah...
den sigh... 2 groups of frns... 1 is poly 1 is sec. sec frns now become closer to mi. den poly frns... last yr, or some time, i toked tat a frn was getting mi into MLM. ppl den started to dissuade mi. well, in end, i din join cos no $$. but i was keen for 1-2 mths. den when i decided to quit, tat frn din contact mi anymore. n.. for mths (starting from the time i take up java course) till now, they din cotnact mi for outing at all. i checked with the person who usually org such outings, n he's the 1 who intro mi to MLM. gues wat? he say they still go out once in a while.
huh? go out den din ask mi along? nvm, i shan't make a fuss. oni when i'm wif the group n someone ask, den i speak the truth loh. he say they going tree top this sat, den he say will lemme know details of the outing by today. so i ask a close frn of mine in the group. she say she know nothign cos she not informed. huh? n den today, the outign is cancelled................................ dun ask mi y...
when i was celebrating my 21st bday, i came out to those frns who came to the party. my gal pal, noted tat, the poly ppl, din ask mi to join in their game. jus den, a street wise poly frn ask mi join in. dunno.. they seem quite ok abt mi in the past.
right now, wat i need to do is to get back my lifestyle. it means to realising myself better n living it according to its likes n dislikes. cos, it seem like i'm more suited to a lone living style. this yr is more of a realisation yr for mi. when i realise wat's the real direction for mi to strive harder.
i know i'm bad at PR, so i reading boks. n i will b callign frns up to meet n go out. i posted links to my chn zodiac sign, monkey. these 2 mths, i begin to really enjoy myself n b noisy. till now... at this point, i kinda find it boring to stay home at times. i guess frns r there for u to realise urself? haha... perhaps i'm learning to, no loonger b so quiet n begin to njoy life more?
but a lot of things r still in planning stage.
like.. plan to buy contact lens, chk monash payment modes, buy blue tooth head, buy digi cam. haha... digi cam n lens r most jialutz. cos each cost xxx $. siongzzz
i think it's time to really give myself a break. i just realised today, i suddenly got 3.5 days leave remaining. thot was oni 1 or 1.5 oni. intend to, for this xmas, go Oz find my pals.to seek solace n to enjoy time wif them, n cheer up them n boost their morales!!! i VERY great hor ?! =D
den, as i plan to open up diff accts in various banks to facilitate fund transfer, i check ocbc/posb etc. kauzz... ocbc hor, it says minimum is $1 mthly balance. den it say mthly balance muz b 500$ if dun wan kena 2$ admin charge?? wah liao...
sometimes, i post pictures of interest to my blog. these usually generate HIGH traffice to my site. haha, am i using it to promote traffic? dunno.. m i unscrupulous? ahhah...
den sigh... 2 groups of frns... 1 is poly 1 is sec. sec frns now become closer to mi. den poly frns... last yr, or some time, i toked tat a frn was getting mi into MLM. ppl den started to dissuade mi. well, in end, i din join cos no $$. but i was keen for 1-2 mths. den when i decided to quit, tat frn din contact mi anymore. n.. for mths (starting from the time i take up java course) till now, they din cotnact mi for outing at all. i checked with the person who usually org such outings, n he's the 1 who intro mi to MLM. gues wat? he say they still go out once in a while.
huh? go out den din ask mi along? nvm, i shan't make a fuss. oni when i'm wif the group n someone ask, den i speak the truth loh. he say they going tree top this sat, den he say will lemme know details of the outing by today. so i ask a close frn of mine in the group. she say she know nothign cos she not informed. huh? n den today, the outign is cancelled................................ dun ask mi y...
when i was celebrating my 21st bday, i came out to those frns who came to the party. my gal pal, noted tat, the poly ppl, din ask mi to join in their game. jus den, a street wise poly frn ask mi join in. dunno.. they seem quite ok abt mi in the past.
right now, wat i need to do is to get back my lifestyle. it means to realising myself better n living it according to its likes n dislikes. cos, it seem like i'm more suited to a lone living style. this yr is more of a realisation yr for mi. when i realise wat's the real direction for mi to strive harder.
i know i'm bad at PR, so i reading boks. n i will b callign frns up to meet n go out. i posted links to my chn zodiac sign, monkey. these 2 mths, i begin to really enjoy myself n b noisy. till now... at this point, i kinda find it boring to stay home at times. i guess frns r there for u to realise urself? haha... perhaps i'm learning to, no loonger b so quiet n begin to njoy life more?
but a lot of things r still in planning stage.
like.. plan to buy contact lens, chk monash payment modes, buy blue tooth head, buy digi cam. haha... digi cam n lens r most jialutz. cos each cost xxx $. siongzzz
Monkey Signs
Find your Fate
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
DoubleSign
Lovegevity
=======================
was at home having dinner... n sharing my sis' pictures. it seems that i've sacrificed much more than i thot i'd. the chemistry is gone with my family members. in order not to let them have a diff idea from mi, i wanna explain more, but realise tat they know wat i toking.
Find your Fate
Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
DoubleSign
Lovegevity
=======================
was at home having dinner... n sharing my sis' pictures. it seems that i've sacrificed much more than i thot i'd. the chemistry is gone with my family members. in order not to let them have a diff idea from mi, i wanna explain more, but realise tat they know wat i toking.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
i begin to wonder if i'm really more suited to a life of solitude. kinda getting used to living on my own. yes, i'll still catch up wif frns though.
when ppl are living on their own, they tend to be the decision makers. so, they have to realise n find out wat is the better/best option for anything. in such case, they grow up to be more independent. n if we know wat's best for us, we may want things done our way. in such cases, will there be anyone who can accept us?
well, i do agree tat there can be clashes from tiem to time due to thinking n belief diff. but as long as there is comunication n mutual understanding, i guess it's alright? to keep a reln long, my tinking is tat, u shldn't assume tat the person knows wat u r thinking of, or able to adjust to ur needs just after 1 or 2 times of happening. if u feel tat u r not happy about soemthing, wat's better than voicing it out n letting ur thots b known?
there is no perfect person. everything proceeds smoothly if all partties give n take. keeping any feelings or thots within urself ain't going to help.
wat's more, I wonder y am i often the persistent party in reln? I was usually the one who get jilted. The person either found someone better, or felt our characters clash, or simply started to ignore mi. I wonder, why is there such low tolerance in LTR? when we are unhappy wif a frn, we can tell him about it. or avoid him whenever possible. but when it comes to LTR, do ppl look for auto-change in that person, or they will talk it out?
============================
ok, abt the debate on ch U. having lived out on my own, i begin to underatand the pains of parents. i'm not a parent yet, so i cant say much. but having passed the period of kid, i know its feelings, but dunno abt the thinking of kids these days.
yes kids now grow up faster n understand much more than we do during our time. i am surprised tat the lady (ex-colleague) look demure, but she can spout out those sexual lines n thot inducing sounds. she's 20.
being kids, we often cant think much. some kids develop EQ prety fast. so, when thigns happen, they dun jump to conclusions but calm down n figure out the next step. these r the ok kids. but kids prefer to play n run about. they duno much abt EQ. they jus do wat they wan n dun ever think a lot. in this sense, parents hav to play a part. rmb when u were a kid, did u think a lot abt hwo ur family feel if u do something? if yes, COOl, if not, why u think ur kids can?
put urself in the kids shoes. u been thru their experiences n ages. ok, soem kids r rebelllious, kind, scaredy, adventurous. it depends on how much u know them. dun assume every kid is the same. when u are at work ,can u 100% ensure ur colleagues have the same thinking as u?
some kids, they listen to parents. but there r ppl who need to experience it to learn a lesson. there's no point in stopping them. it's better to jus let them know, they can try, but know the consequences. kids have their own thinking, but parents have the experience. let them know of the outcome. talk to them calmly. if the forseen problem comes, jus tell them ur opinons, dun ever blast off at them.
the key issue, know ur kids well.
ahaha.. after watchign the show, i jus slept at my family there. next morn, woke up, felt like i at some chalet siazz..
when ppl are living on their own, they tend to be the decision makers. so, they have to realise n find out wat is the better/best option for anything. in such case, they grow up to be more independent. n if we know wat's best for us, we may want things done our way. in such cases, will there be anyone who can accept us?
well, i do agree tat there can be clashes from tiem to time due to thinking n belief diff. but as long as there is comunication n mutual understanding, i guess it's alright? to keep a reln long, my tinking is tat, u shldn't assume tat the person knows wat u r thinking of, or able to adjust to ur needs just after 1 or 2 times of happening. if u feel tat u r not happy about soemthing, wat's better than voicing it out n letting ur thots b known?
there is no perfect person. everything proceeds smoothly if all partties give n take. keeping any feelings or thots within urself ain't going to help.
wat's more, I wonder y am i often the persistent party in reln? I was usually the one who get jilted. The person either found someone better, or felt our characters clash, or simply started to ignore mi. I wonder, why is there such low tolerance in LTR? when we are unhappy wif a frn, we can tell him about it. or avoid him whenever possible. but when it comes to LTR, do ppl look for auto-change in that person, or they will talk it out?
============================
ok, abt the debate on ch U. having lived out on my own, i begin to underatand the pains of parents. i'm not a parent yet, so i cant say much. but having passed the period of kid, i know its feelings, but dunno abt the thinking of kids these days.
yes kids now grow up faster n understand much more than we do during our time. i am surprised tat the lady (ex-colleague) look demure, but she can spout out those sexual lines n thot inducing sounds. she's 20.
being kids, we often cant think much. some kids develop EQ prety fast. so, when thigns happen, they dun jump to conclusions but calm down n figure out the next step. these r the ok kids. but kids prefer to play n run about. they duno much abt EQ. they jus do wat they wan n dun ever think a lot. in this sense, parents hav to play a part. rmb when u were a kid, did u think a lot abt hwo ur family feel if u do something? if yes, COOl, if not, why u think ur kids can?
put urself in the kids shoes. u been thru their experiences n ages. ok, soem kids r rebelllious, kind, scaredy, adventurous. it depends on how much u know them. dun assume every kid is the same. when u are at work ,can u 100% ensure ur colleagues have the same thinking as u?
some kids, they listen to parents. but there r ppl who need to experience it to learn a lesson. there's no point in stopping them. it's better to jus let them know, they can try, but know the consequences. kids have their own thinking, but parents have the experience. let them know of the outcome. talk to them calmly. if the forseen problem comes, jus tell them ur opinons, dun ever blast off at them.
the key issue, know ur kids well.
ahaha.. after watchign the show, i jus slept at my family there. next morn, woke up, felt like i at some chalet siazz..
haha, how shld i start off my blog?
ytday is wednesday. my sis say tat it's a bad wk, cos we working on alternate days. den i felt it's rEALLY jialut. den when i go to work, my mood was affected. perhaps oso due to events happening in my life. or jus, it's really bad wk.
i was still holding on to my mp3 player, n listening to it. den ppl on the bus were kinda staring at mi, when i began humming out the songs i was hearing. wel, soemtimes, it's hard to diff btwn ppl who stare at u cos u R ODD, cos u look DIFF, or cos u look GOOD. got home, n watch the myth. wah, long time din watch jackie movie liao. was bit not used to his preaching of rights that shld b done. well i think that is how his shows r loh. den hor, wah liao, some scenes r so illogical n FAKE! like the princess trapped in the burning carriage for so long??
den the princess was so loose tat she willingly gave her body to jackie? my sis did "complain" tat the indian (haha, speaking here, i know wat else i wana write) actress oni given a SMALL portion of screen time. but the korean was given lotsa exposure. well, the korean IS the rightful lead actress. but the show was filmed in india, so they certainly will wan some of their best ppl inside the show. so they put in their actress, indian dance, n myths inside. but the ger did have some SIMPLe fight scenes.
however, the funny thign i realise is, they got strip scene in his show. i never know indian nationals r so bold to strip siazz. esp the police part. the ger is escaping from police, den the police accidentally pulled off her scarf, revealing her bikinis. den the best one came when, they went up a chopping machine. the ppl were finding it HARD to move at all. den haah, they began removing their clothings 1 by 1. haha. i dun rmb such lines being usual in his other movies, other than he tryin to "ka you" wif the actresses.
when the captain of the police whole body was stuck onto the machine, i figured he will actually begin to strip. haha, next scene, he tore the front of his shirt apart, revealing the hair. then they began moving. the ger was stuck on the machine, wif her breasts stuck. jackie pulled her up but her bra was removed. he den, in a stunt, shifted his shirt onto her. den the captain appear topless. jackie was stuck on his butt. he den simply took off his pants oso. hahah, wah a humourous scene.
later on, at the end, they r at a mountain. strange, the professor can actually fight better than the warrior of the Qin dynasty. although at first, wif a sword, the warrior gained the upper hand when fighting jackie. even better, the warrior later was injured n fighting 3 guys, but he was "OUTNUMBERED". wow. n den the professor grabbed his hand. the warrior still has 2 legs n 1 hand, but is suddenly left helpless. hahaha.. n he was pushed away into the infinity. but jus b4 the shwo end, he appeared from nowhere, causing the death of the professor. LOL
wah watch the show till 1230am. din wan go home liao, cos wanna watch ch U debating show. will post comments abt it later, in next blog. slept at my family there.
next morning, watch "chang hen ge". BORINGshow. but first time to see sammi in an unscrupulous role. or perhaps jus scheming role. nothing to watch out for to mi, since DANIEL WU oni appear for 5 mins of show. SIANZ. luckily din watch in movies.
=====================
i oso realised tat i MUZ brush up my toking skills once more. n dun assume ppl will understand my thots. for wed's lunch, i ask my colleague buy for mi, cos i dun wan go out. CC n BB went n brought back, the lunch cost 1$ more than expected. there is still some change tat i can take from them. CC passed mi the lunch n told mi it cost more. later on, BB returned mi th change. n i smilingly ask how come it's so little change. CC den explained 1 more time to mi. i know i'm jus teasing CC lah. but, soemhow i jus din explain myself...
den at home, over dinner, my sis bought KFC. i exclaimed "u oso buy ah?" when i meant "u still buy ah?"
ytday is wednesday. my sis say tat it's a bad wk, cos we working on alternate days. den i felt it's rEALLY jialut. den when i go to work, my mood was affected. perhaps oso due to events happening in my life. or jus, it's really bad wk.
i was still holding on to my mp3 player, n listening to it. den ppl on the bus were kinda staring at mi, when i began humming out the songs i was hearing. wel, soemtimes, it's hard to diff btwn ppl who stare at u cos u R ODD, cos u look DIFF, or cos u look GOOD. got home, n watch the myth. wah, long time din watch jackie movie liao. was bit not used to his preaching of rights that shld b done. well i think that is how his shows r loh. den hor, wah liao, some scenes r so illogical n FAKE! like the princess trapped in the burning carriage for so long??
den the princess was so loose tat she willingly gave her body to jackie? my sis did "complain" tat the indian (haha, speaking here, i know wat else i wana write) actress oni given a SMALL portion of screen time. but the korean was given lotsa exposure. well, the korean IS the rightful lead actress. but the show was filmed in india, so they certainly will wan some of their best ppl inside the show. so they put in their actress, indian dance, n myths inside. but the ger did have some SIMPLe fight scenes.
however, the funny thign i realise is, they got strip scene in his show. i never know indian nationals r so bold to strip siazz. esp the police part. the ger is escaping from police, den the police accidentally pulled off her scarf, revealing her bikinis. den the best one came when, they went up a chopping machine. the ppl were finding it HARD to move at all. den haah, they began removing their clothings 1 by 1. haha. i dun rmb such lines being usual in his other movies, other than he tryin to "ka you" wif the actresses.
when the captain of the police whole body was stuck onto the machine, i figured he will actually begin to strip. haha, next scene, he tore the front of his shirt apart, revealing the hair. then they began moving. the ger was stuck on the machine, wif her breasts stuck. jackie pulled her up but her bra was removed. he den, in a stunt, shifted his shirt onto her. den the captain appear topless. jackie was stuck on his butt. he den simply took off his pants oso. hahah, wah a humourous scene.
later on, at the end, they r at a mountain. strange, the professor can actually fight better than the warrior of the Qin dynasty. although at first, wif a sword, the warrior gained the upper hand when fighting jackie. even better, the warrior later was injured n fighting 3 guys, but he was "OUTNUMBERED". wow. n den the professor grabbed his hand. the warrior still has 2 legs n 1 hand, but is suddenly left helpless. hahaha.. n he was pushed away into the infinity. but jus b4 the shwo end, he appeared from nowhere, causing the death of the professor. LOL
wah watch the show till 1230am. din wan go home liao, cos wanna watch ch U debating show. will post comments abt it later, in next blog. slept at my family there.
next morning, watch "chang hen ge". BORINGshow. but first time to see sammi in an unscrupulous role. or perhaps jus scheming role. nothing to watch out for to mi, since DANIEL WU oni appear for 5 mins of show. SIANZ. luckily din watch in movies.
=====================
i oso realised tat i MUZ brush up my toking skills once more. n dun assume ppl will understand my thots. for wed's lunch, i ask my colleague buy for mi, cos i dun wan go out. CC n BB went n brought back, the lunch cost 1$ more than expected. there is still some change tat i can take from them. CC passed mi the lunch n told mi it cost more. later on, BB returned mi th change. n i smilingly ask how come it's so little change. CC den explained 1 more time to mi. i know i'm jus teasing CC lah. but, soemhow i jus din explain myself...
den at home, over dinner, my sis bought KFC. i exclaimed "u oso buy ah?" when i meant "u still buy ah?"
Monday, October 31, 2005
somehow, i have a number of things to update, but off hand, i cant rmb all...
==================
not sure hwo to start off a subjct. well, in the past, if there is soemthign i haveto rmb, eg some words, some sequence, etc, i will usually PICTURE IT n rmb it. picture as in, i keep the whole image (or how the word looks like) and rmb it. den i can recall it easier, insteaqd of remembering by its pronunciation or spelling. but jus now, i was tring to rmb "bodhisattva", n was using its pronunciation. den i rmb, i shld b usign the "film" in my brain. ehhe, i managed to do it. even when i was in sec sch, there was a tv show, the ppl were told to rmb a sequence of numbers. (left 2, right 5, left 3, left 1, etc)
for ppl who have a GOOD memory, well, shld b no problem. but others, may rmb it by the left 2/3/4. but for mi, i pictured it in my brain, the position of the first number, 2nd 3rd. since it's a picture, i can rmb it. my mum oso ask how i did it.
=================
last night was showing the superstar ppl hosting. they got a sauna scene. wat i rmb, is such idols usually dun bare their skins so easily. the producer either changed it perception and the "idols" too, or they wanna save the viewership.
==================
during my 6 mths of working tis yr, i somehow was persistent in my idea n suggetions. den now, my exams over liao, i seem to have better control over my EQ n way of expressing myself.
den yesterday, when i go to work, i was using my mp3 player, n taking news paper. wah, i kinda look so cool siazz.. ahah, n for the first tiem, i was really mesmerised by the songs i was listening, tat i was humming the songs to myself. hehe, i felt i kinda made some ppl turn their heads. but i was really.. turned on by the songs, i bochap :)
hehe, i rmb 1 mth back, got a caucasian said in a forum tat he was listening to his fast paced songs n dancing to himself, the passers-by all stared at him in disbelief haha.
======================
ahha, jus checked on the "map". for france/paris ahah, so paiseh siazzz
======================
somehow, these days i seem to get premonitions... eye twitches... dunno how true is tat...
====================
"this is not a very friendly response!" - u mean the monash modules? ehhe, paiseh paiseh.. but haah, it did help in making our grad time sama sama rite?? hahaha...
"Stay away from my HR turf!" - hehe, It support is not an area to be survived on. i got java basic to fall back on. my dip is too outdated liao. see first.
--- i am an introvert all along. i tried to make myself outgoing but it's VELI tiring. i mena, i can be spontaneous n be chatty wif newly made frns. but over time, it'll die down, cos it's really tiring. job ads often ask if candidates ca b team player. i thot i can. cos as long there is communications within the team, it shld b alright to work as a team.
but now, i have doubts on myself abt tat. can i really work as a team member? my job now centres on picking up phones and answering queries. many times, when i'm at my pc, i feel lazy to walk around n chat wif ppl. i am just stuck on my chair. unless my inquisitive side gets mi, i wun go up and tok much. wld prefer to stay quiet n b ready to pick calls.
i begin to feel tat i need to work alone, wif myself working hard to control the direction of my future. ie, a stable n low income is not my vision. wld prefer a career whcih i can take charge of its happening. well, perhaps my prog self is coming back, in the marketing n sales line.
i do prefer making new frns n moving around. although this can b tiring at times.
my self esteem is low, as wat i gathered from a social cognition book. as a person who acts independently (hey, i resolve my own problems as best as i can n take care of myself), i have high esteem on tat. but wif a group, i usually no idea who to join. 'cos wif a group, i dun relaly know who i can tok to. and whether tat person will wanna tok to mi anot. unless tat person has formed strong bonds wif mi?
usualy, i prefer to tok to gers. cos, they r the frnlier kind? n we can oso tok abt guys if the need arises. but now, another reason came up to mi: if i tok to guys, i tend to judge them wif their appearances. if it's nice looking, i will try to tok more to acquaint wif him. if not, i may try to tok at times.---
"YOu actually went to an exams unprepared?" - ye, u saw it rite. well, i totally lost hope in preparing for it. not say din read anythign. u know, i was reading the first LT notes, den saw it's merely points n need to refer back to txtbk to read details. den at the txtbk, i din bother to find out which chap/sect/para the notes were discussing, n stated from the basic chap of the bk. i found joy (wah, sound veli xtian hor?) in reading tat part. i realise my foundation is kinda really gone. i was re-picking up my HW knowledge. wat's more, 2 days to help mi finish 11-12 stacks of LT notes, each wif 30-50 pages. n not forgetting i nedd to touch on the asgt, n past exams to brush my skills up. all these, i dun BLIF i can finish in 2 dayss.
this is not "having no conf" but knowing ur limits n not pushing urself too hard when u know u really cant mee the deadline. but i still read watever i can, in the book. wif the knowledge i have, i went for the exam wif a light heart. i still managed to ans soem qns ok lah. i did not return a blank page.
"It now works, and you're syndicagted again" haha, nice to hear tat. i think it's really due to the language settings on my blog :) do keep ourselves in contact with each other!!
" Hey luvktv, you have a great blog here" was posted to a blog dated in february. pretty surprised, but nothignt o say.
==================
not sure hwo to start off a subjct. well, in the past, if there is soemthign i haveto rmb, eg some words, some sequence, etc, i will usually PICTURE IT n rmb it. picture as in, i keep the whole image (or how the word looks like) and rmb it. den i can recall it easier, insteaqd of remembering by its pronunciation or spelling. but jus now, i was tring to rmb "bodhisattva", n was using its pronunciation. den i rmb, i shld b usign the "film" in my brain. ehhe, i managed to do it. even when i was in sec sch, there was a tv show, the ppl were told to rmb a sequence of numbers. (left 2, right 5, left 3, left 1, etc)
for ppl who have a GOOD memory, well, shld b no problem. but others, may rmb it by the left 2/3/4. but for mi, i pictured it in my brain, the position of the first number, 2nd 3rd. since it's a picture, i can rmb it. my mum oso ask how i did it.
=================
last night was showing the superstar ppl hosting. they got a sauna scene. wat i rmb, is such idols usually dun bare their skins so easily. the producer either changed it perception and the "idols" too, or they wanna save the viewership.
==================
during my 6 mths of working tis yr, i somehow was persistent in my idea n suggetions. den now, my exams over liao, i seem to have better control over my EQ n way of expressing myself.
den yesterday, when i go to work, i was using my mp3 player, n taking news paper. wah, i kinda look so cool siazz.. ahah, n for the first tiem, i was really mesmerised by the songs i was listening, tat i was humming the songs to myself. hehe, i felt i kinda made some ppl turn their heads. but i was really.. turned on by the songs, i bochap :)
hehe, i rmb 1 mth back, got a caucasian said in a forum tat he was listening to his fast paced songs n dancing to himself, the passers-by all stared at him in disbelief haha.
======================
ahha, jus checked on the "map". for france/paris ahah, so paiseh siazzz
======================
somehow, these days i seem to get premonitions... eye twitches... dunno how true is tat...
====================
"this is not a very friendly response!" - u mean the monash modules? ehhe, paiseh paiseh.. but haah, it did help in making our grad time sama sama rite?? hahaha...
"Stay away from my HR turf!" - hehe, It support is not an area to be survived on. i got java basic to fall back on. my dip is too outdated liao. see first.
--- i am an introvert all along. i tried to make myself outgoing but it's VELI tiring. i mena, i can be spontaneous n be chatty wif newly made frns. but over time, it'll die down, cos it's really tiring. job ads often ask if candidates ca b team player. i thot i can. cos as long there is communications within the team, it shld b alright to work as a team.
but now, i have doubts on myself abt tat. can i really work as a team member? my job now centres on picking up phones and answering queries. many times, when i'm at my pc, i feel lazy to walk around n chat wif ppl. i am just stuck on my chair. unless my inquisitive side gets mi, i wun go up and tok much. wld prefer to stay quiet n b ready to pick calls.
i begin to feel tat i need to work alone, wif myself working hard to control the direction of my future. ie, a stable n low income is not my vision. wld prefer a career whcih i can take charge of its happening. well, perhaps my prog self is coming back, in the marketing n sales line.
i do prefer making new frns n moving around. although this can b tiring at times.
my self esteem is low, as wat i gathered from a social cognition book. as a person who acts independently (hey, i resolve my own problems as best as i can n take care of myself), i have high esteem on tat. but wif a group, i usually no idea who to join. 'cos wif a group, i dun relaly know who i can tok to. and whether tat person will wanna tok to mi anot. unless tat person has formed strong bonds wif mi?
usualy, i prefer to tok to gers. cos, they r the frnlier kind? n we can oso tok abt guys if the need arises. but now, another reason came up to mi: if i tok to guys, i tend to judge them wif their appearances. if it's nice looking, i will try to tok more to acquaint wif him. if not, i may try to tok at times.---
"YOu actually went to an exams unprepared?" - ye, u saw it rite. well, i totally lost hope in preparing for it. not say din read anythign. u know, i was reading the first LT notes, den saw it's merely points n need to refer back to txtbk to read details. den at the txtbk, i din bother to find out which chap/sect/para the notes were discussing, n stated from the basic chap of the bk. i found joy (wah, sound veli xtian hor?) in reading tat part. i realise my foundation is kinda really gone. i was re-picking up my HW knowledge. wat's more, 2 days to help mi finish 11-12 stacks of LT notes, each wif 30-50 pages. n not forgetting i nedd to touch on the asgt, n past exams to brush my skills up. all these, i dun BLIF i can finish in 2 dayss.
this is not "having no conf" but knowing ur limits n not pushing urself too hard when u know u really cant mee the deadline. but i still read watever i can, in the book. wif the knowledge i have, i went for the exam wif a light heart. i still managed to ans soem qns ok lah. i did not return a blank page.
"It now works, and you're syndicagted again" haha, nice to hear tat. i think it's really due to the language settings on my blog :) do keep ourselves in contact with each other!!
" Hey luvktv, you have a great blog here" was posted to a blog dated in february. pretty surprised, but nothignt o say.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
the lead of ong bak show.. helping in charity. he can look both charming (top left pic), n serious n in deep thots. but his acting is 2nd'ary. his fighting skills is still main draw. tat y his firs tshow, jus focus on his fighting. n like asia's jackie chan, he's a knack for fighting. haha, ok, the main pic i took, is jus on time for the sexy scene.
what does it say, if i shld wake up almost every morn @ 3-5am to study but failed, however if i need to give morn call, i make sure i wake in time for it, n study at same time?
wah say... saturday was a GREAT day. i had wanna go swim, den go for hair txtmt, den go NLB borrow PR book, reformat PC, clear up room, use a brand new PC. somehow, there was a BIG change. on fri night, i had a VELI VELI full dinner. 'cos i drank soft drink? dunno. den sat morn, i dun feel hungry at all. den thot of many things. decided no need go swim, salon. libary, i went still, cos after library is lunch. i oni know i wanna loan the bk on PR, den dunno wat title, ahah..
den i got home, GOSH... does any1 know how to backup msn emotiona?? wah lioa, jus when i wanna reform my pc, i realise there's no way to backup msn emotions?? shit!!!!!
oh... so now, left clear up rm. ok loh. i started at 5pm, changed into tights so tat haha, my body can disperse heat easily. but still hor, no fan move thigns, clear up n sweep rm, veli tedious.. i keep perspiring. so much tat i forgot i need to drink water to replenish it tilli felt a bit dizzy. finally, things r done by 11pm. the fan oso clearned lioa. haha. it's VELI tiring, but it's my hard work!!! i'm proud of it!!
so, time to go diner/supper lioa. wah liao, i so damn weak siazz.. as i stepped out of house, i felt so weak n feeble. in mi mind, i oni have a line: quikc, i muz buy my supper, n muz not drop.
i was even trying to convince myself to keep on walking.
Just then, my legs started to speed up... speed up, till it was speed-walking. i was stunned, cos i know i'm tired n weak, but my legs was bringing mi to such a high speed of walking! till i reached the traffic light, my legs just kept walking. finally, as i reach the traffic, i constantly told myself to slow down, cos i DUN WAN CROSS THE TRAFFIC W/O SAFETY IN MIND!
this was the most surprising thing siazz.
den somehow, today, i felt my whole body is aching siazz... siaozz... such tidying up oso will cause my ache??
wah say... saturday was a GREAT day. i had wanna go swim, den go for hair txtmt, den go NLB borrow PR book, reformat PC, clear up room, use a brand new PC. somehow, there was a BIG change. on fri night, i had a VELI VELI full dinner. 'cos i drank soft drink? dunno. den sat morn, i dun feel hungry at all. den thot of many things. decided no need go swim, salon. libary, i went still, cos after library is lunch. i oni know i wanna loan the bk on PR, den dunno wat title, ahah..
den i got home, GOSH... does any1 know how to backup msn emotiona?? wah lioa, jus when i wanna reform my pc, i realise there's no way to backup msn emotions?? shit!!!!!
oh... so now, left clear up rm. ok loh. i started at 5pm, changed into tights so tat haha, my body can disperse heat easily. but still hor, no fan move thigns, clear up n sweep rm, veli tedious.. i keep perspiring. so much tat i forgot i need to drink water to replenish it tilli felt a bit dizzy. finally, things r done by 11pm. the fan oso clearned lioa. haha. it's VELI tiring, but it's my hard work!!! i'm proud of it!!
so, time to go diner/supper lioa. wah liao, i so damn weak siazz.. as i stepped out of house, i felt so weak n feeble. in mi mind, i oni have a line: quikc, i muz buy my supper, n muz not drop.
i was even trying to convince myself to keep on walking.
Just then, my legs started to speed up... speed up, till it was speed-walking. i was stunned, cos i know i'm tired n weak, but my legs was bringing mi to such a high speed of walking! till i reached the traffic light, my legs just kept walking. finally, as i reach the traffic, i constantly told myself to slow down, cos i DUN WAN CROSS THE TRAFFIC W/O SAFETY IN MIND!
this was the most surprising thing siazz.
den somehow, today, i felt my whole body is aching siazz... siaozz... such tidying up oso will cause my ache??
Friday, October 28, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
umm.. loads of things to upadte..since my exam is over... i oso have a wishlist to fulfil. actually all along have a wishlist, but now, havign controlled my desires for a long time due to financial contraints, (yes once more, it's the FC) it's time to make the wishes come true... not all, but 1 by 1...
1) get back my contact lens
2) read up on HR... or, PR lah
3) clean up my room (lotsa stagnant air)
4) check monash paymnt modes
5) buy a digi cam
6) reformat my pc
7) house keep the videos n pix
8) clear mails so on
few days back, ch U was discussing the reln between studs n trs. ahha, after watching the dicussion, i really lament (2 serious? not really...) on the plight of today's trs. well, i tok abt this wif my mum. she agree wif mi.
c, back on 1960s, mum's era, the TR is held so highly in regard. the TR is so well educated n knowledgeable. the parents simply handed their children over to the TR to discipline. they take the TR as god n mr know all. they dun dare qn the TR. the TR wanna cane their children, they muz have their reasons for doing so.
recently in 1990s (err, not tat recent lah.. yes i know), parents love their children now n do protect children from abuse by TRs. tat time, TRs still hold power n have the right to discipline n reprimand their children. i rmb, when i first attended.. some chn classes, cos i blur blur dinno TR told us to practise some writing, i kena exposed n he grabbed my hair, face, cheeek n shook mi all over. well, perhaps my timidness oso did its work. i din tell my family at all. but this period of time, students oni know they MUZ do well in sch. nvm if the TR can instil instrest in us anot. it's our duty to study well. the load is on us to do well. if the TR instil intrerest in us, a bonus.
but, look at now. a simple word from the TR to chide the student off will invite a complaint from the parent. the parent simply tereat their kids like king n untouchable. the TR these days really cant do much at all. they dun have any power liao. they r merely ppl who r supposed to teach, instil interest for subject, n try means n ways to keep them keen.
rmb in the past, PSLE/"O"/"A" r all IMPT exam we need to pass? lok at now. the chn syllabus SIMPLIFIED by so much. i think if my siblings retake chn in the sch, we sure get into higher chn level classes. the kids nowadays r kinda too pampered. do they know the meaning of failing, fighting for a pass? failing means they dun really understand a subj but MUZ pass as it's an impt subj for their life. fighting for a pass means, they really strive hard to pass.
now, there r ppl who, for god's sake, duno hwo to speak proper chn, although they have a "chn" name. eg zheng4 li2 jing1. but 2 b fashionable n westernised n keep up wif the times, they clal themselves Eliza Tay. the LI JING? oh forget it, it's so silly n YUX!!! sometimes, even parents themselves dun wan give their kids a proper chn name. the eng name is more impt. huh? well, just keep this in mind. yin shui si yuan - rmb ur roots. n "wang ben mo wang gen" - u can forget who u r, lose urself, but u have to rmb ur roots.
if u meet a malay frn yr later, but u realise he cant speak a proper malay line but can speak fluent eng, will u admire his english or grieve his loss of his grip on his mother tongue? for mi, i may be impressed tat he's using an accented english slang, but will feel bad if he is not able to tok wif his country mates. n i will really feel sad tat he cant speak his mother tongue.
there r millions of ppl tryinmg to learn our MANDARIN. but there r some who simply dun treasure it n blif they wun need it. well it'll b ur loss. i really wonder if the kids these days can spurt out a proper chinese line.
err, oh, where am i heading?? ok, i mean, these days, students simply want to lead their own lives n if somethings goes wrong, they seem to succumb to it. and complain to their parents. their parents, being well educated will want the best for their kids. they dun wan any1 to ill-treat them and make a big fuss if they SUSPECT the TR did something wrong. gosh...
in this way, how r TRs going to keep students in control??
=====================================
um, ok, so today i took my exam.. err, ok, b4 tat, i went to work on thur. den liao... i kena SUAN by my boss. he insinuated mi by saying, some ppl sleep late, n wake up feeling dizzy. some ppl got exam stress, so will feel unwell. KAUZZ!!! make mi sound like i KENGz 1. well i din bother to defend. it jsut the way they wanna think. but i will not b staying long there. thinking of, going insurance partime, like wat Oz pal suggested.
cos this place, really jialutz. tings keep changing. their ops base oso move to msia liao. i think sooner or later ,our helpdesk oso shift place. wat's more, being in IT is a low level job. wat's more it's Supporting role. even worse.
==============================
ok, tok exam now. haha, fwe things. my left eye twitched again. maybe it's saying i'm late for the exam. cos.. hha, jus when i alighted from train, den i realise i'm really rushing for time liao. but i was all along having a relax mind. wif no stress n pressure telling miself to pass. i even took TODAY n read on way there. haha, so relax huh? for the first time, i actua;lly saw ppl cheat in exam.
the guy beside mi was fidgetting. so i looked and by chance, saw him take out a stack of small paper pieces. i know wat he doing. during the first 5 mins, i wanna b a hero n expose him siazz. was thinking "who in the hell shld chaet in exam??" it's not right!! but later, i cooled down. n thot: oh well, he shld b despo to pass, tat why wnana cheat. nvm lah.. jus let him b.
2nd ting is, it's my first time to be so DARN relaxed in exams!!! cos i know my aim is to check outt he qns. whether i pass or not is 2nd'ary. i was so light hearted, when i saw tuff questions, i either tok cock, or i simply giggled. i still did wat i could in the exam. my first timet o come so unprepared for exam, n not worry if can pass anot siazz...
after exam, i felt SO FREE................ even had fun joking in the office. finally my load is off... my exam ie. so time to enjoy myself.
====================================
"go for a walk... take it easy"
hey les, thx for tat. i did relax myself from time to time :)
"graduate together"
hey, i dinno u retook a few modules. haha, i wonder if we will match each other's schedule jus lke ATC times hahaha. 24 hrs difference!!!!!!@@ but u forgot, monash dun have supp paper. once u fail, retake the module. but i din think of MC for exam lah. anyway, too late to read ur comments.
gal pal, u're welcome. it was 7+am, i thot u had to work in the morning, n can pick up the hp. um, i read ur comments abt the time tu wrote it. haha, now si 140am liao. i forgot wat exactly i wanna say. anyway, summary: u've always been able to offer insight views to mi. from a sensible n logical way of thinking. it's always been refreshing n nice to hear ur views. n keep ur msn nick on, the 2nd part is saying the right thing. :)
1) get back my contact lens
2) read up on HR... or, PR lah
3) clean up my room (lotsa stagnant air)
4) check monash paymnt modes
5) buy a digi cam
6) reformat my pc
7) house keep the videos n pix
8) clear mails so on
few days back, ch U was discussing the reln between studs n trs. ahha, after watching the dicussion, i really lament (2 serious? not really...) on the plight of today's trs. well, i tok abt this wif my mum. she agree wif mi.
c, back on 1960s, mum's era, the TR is held so highly in regard. the TR is so well educated n knowledgeable. the parents simply handed their children over to the TR to discipline. they take the TR as god n mr know all. they dun dare qn the TR. the TR wanna cane their children, they muz have their reasons for doing so.
recently in 1990s (err, not tat recent lah.. yes i know), parents love their children now n do protect children from abuse by TRs. tat time, TRs still hold power n have the right to discipline n reprimand their children. i rmb, when i first attended.. some chn classes, cos i blur blur dinno TR told us to practise some writing, i kena exposed n he grabbed my hair, face, cheeek n shook mi all over. well, perhaps my timidness oso did its work. i din tell my family at all. but this period of time, students oni know they MUZ do well in sch. nvm if the TR can instil instrest in us anot. it's our duty to study well. the load is on us to do well. if the TR instil intrerest in us, a bonus.
but, look at now. a simple word from the TR to chide the student off will invite a complaint from the parent. the parent simply tereat their kids like king n untouchable. the TR these days really cant do much at all. they dun have any power liao. they r merely ppl who r supposed to teach, instil interest for subject, n try means n ways to keep them keen.
rmb in the past, PSLE/"O"/"A" r all IMPT exam we need to pass? lok at now. the chn syllabus SIMPLIFIED by so much. i think if my siblings retake chn in the sch, we sure get into higher chn level classes. the kids nowadays r kinda too pampered. do they know the meaning of failing, fighting for a pass? failing means they dun really understand a subj but MUZ pass as it's an impt subj for their life. fighting for a pass means, they really strive hard to pass.
now, there r ppl who, for god's sake, duno hwo to speak proper chn, although they have a "chn" name. eg zheng4 li2 jing1. but 2 b fashionable n westernised n keep up wif the times, they clal themselves Eliza Tay. the LI JING? oh forget it, it's so silly n YUX!!! sometimes, even parents themselves dun wan give their kids a proper chn name. the eng name is more impt. huh? well, just keep this in mind. yin shui si yuan - rmb ur roots. n "wang ben mo wang gen" - u can forget who u r, lose urself, but u have to rmb ur roots.
if u meet a malay frn yr later, but u realise he cant speak a proper malay line but can speak fluent eng, will u admire his english or grieve his loss of his grip on his mother tongue? for mi, i may be impressed tat he's using an accented english slang, but will feel bad if he is not able to tok wif his country mates. n i will really feel sad tat he cant speak his mother tongue.
there r millions of ppl tryinmg to learn our MANDARIN. but there r some who simply dun treasure it n blif they wun need it. well it'll b ur loss. i really wonder if the kids these days can spurt out a proper chinese line.
err, oh, where am i heading?? ok, i mean, these days, students simply want to lead their own lives n if somethings goes wrong, they seem to succumb to it. and complain to their parents. their parents, being well educated will want the best for their kids. they dun wan any1 to ill-treat them and make a big fuss if they SUSPECT the TR did something wrong. gosh...
in this way, how r TRs going to keep students in control??
=====================================
um, ok, so today i took my exam.. err, ok, b4 tat, i went to work on thur. den liao... i kena SUAN by my boss. he insinuated mi by saying, some ppl sleep late, n wake up feeling dizzy. some ppl got exam stress, so will feel unwell. KAUZZ!!! make mi sound like i KENGz 1. well i din bother to defend. it jsut the way they wanna think. but i will not b staying long there. thinking of, going insurance partime, like wat Oz pal suggested.
cos this place, really jialutz. tings keep changing. their ops base oso move to msia liao. i think sooner or later ,our helpdesk oso shift place. wat's more, being in IT is a low level job. wat's more it's Supporting role. even worse.
==============================
ok, tok exam now. haha, fwe things. my left eye twitched again. maybe it's saying i'm late for the exam. cos.. hha, jus when i alighted from train, den i realise i'm really rushing for time liao. but i was all along having a relax mind. wif no stress n pressure telling miself to pass. i even took TODAY n read on way there. haha, so relax huh? for the first time, i actua;lly saw ppl cheat in exam.
the guy beside mi was fidgetting. so i looked and by chance, saw him take out a stack of small paper pieces. i know wat he doing. during the first 5 mins, i wanna b a hero n expose him siazz. was thinking "who in the hell shld chaet in exam??" it's not right!! but later, i cooled down. n thot: oh well, he shld b despo to pass, tat why wnana cheat. nvm lah.. jus let him b.
2nd ting is, it's my first time to be so DARN relaxed in exams!!! cos i know my aim is to check outt he qns. whether i pass or not is 2nd'ary. i was so light hearted, when i saw tuff questions, i either tok cock, or i simply giggled. i still did wat i could in the exam. my first timet o come so unprepared for exam, n not worry if can pass anot siazz...
after exam, i felt SO FREE................ even had fun joking in the office. finally my load is off... my exam ie. so time to enjoy myself.
====================================
"go for a walk... take it easy"
hey les, thx for tat. i did relax myself from time to time :)
"graduate together"
hey, i dinno u retook a few modules. haha, i wonder if we will match each other's schedule jus lke ATC times hahaha. 24 hrs difference!!!!!!@@ but u forgot, monash dun have supp paper. once u fail, retake the module. but i din think of MC for exam lah. anyway, too late to read ur comments.
gal pal, u're welcome. it was 7+am, i thot u had to work in the morning, n can pick up the hp. um, i read ur comments abt the time tu wrote it. haha, now si 140am liao. i forgot wat exactly i wanna say. anyway, summary: u've always been able to offer insight views to mi. from a sensible n logical way of thinking. it's always been refreshing n nice to hear ur views. n keep ur msn nick on, the 2nd part is saying the right thing. :)
is this my destiny? this morning suddenly felt heaty inside n feeling cold outside. doc say maybe due to viral infection, cos my temp is ok. so i took the med. wah lioa. the med so strong i slept for abt 6 hrs siazz. but... damn, i kinda stress until almost wanna fall asleep, den my brain wake mi up, sub-consciously. happena few times. in end, slept for 1 hr, 1 hr.feel so bad to leave my colleagues in the lurch... guess... i muz really clean up my room. i think its cleanliness is the root cause. not been clearning up for months. ever since... i started prep for my first java exam... or even java course. this fri is my final exam. hope i can find a good place to relax...
destiny, as in... destined tat i dun have time to read my exam. u know, i slept for about 6 hrs siazz.. mean, 6 hrs i no study at all. my boss oso called to see if i keng 1. having lost 6 hrs, n knowing NUTS, or jus BASICS of my exam, i can oni depend on reading the books, skimming the notes, and revising the asgts to update my knowledge. frankly, this exam, i no cofidence of passing. for the monday exam (24/10), i stand a chance. cos the theories i can smoke thru, n argue thru wif my prac exp, den the program skills part, i oso ok, cos i used to it. i even thot, how come they asking such simple questions? wif my (own) level, these r considered pri sch std to mi. but i still did it, telling myself jus ans watever simple question they ask.
for fri exam, i think will b my first time to walk out within 1 hr... cos... haha, totally no clue how to answer the questios... will keep my fings crossed still. actually, as i studying, i oso thot of simply not atetnd the exam, as i know i sure flunk. but then, w/o trying is not my style. n after i try, cos this sem the lecturer is first time coordingating the module, her style may b diff in setting exam. if i fail this time, i will know her pattern and know how to deal wif her. haha, in fact, after writing this line, I AM contemplating (read: To have in mind as an intention or possibility) of really not studying since i so no confi in passing. i mean, i got 10-12 SGs to revise (read up), each SG has 30-50 slides to go thru. the slides, well, contain oni pt form info. i lost the foundation of internal HW. failing the asgts mean i totally dun understand the contents. i can depend on the books to give mi back the foundation, but in 2 days? i did try the asgts from wat i learn from the bk, but i still failed 3 outta 5. the first asgt i lack 1 pt from a perfect score as it;s DAMN easy. the last asgt got border line pass, cos i din answer to wat the marker was looking for.
all of u, pls... pray? dunno lei, cos i no confi i will pass. will pray help? can oni depend on luck n my smoking skills. i'm actually prepared to re-take tis module. cos, been 1 yr since i took my last HW related module. HW i totally clueless n blur. den now, suddenly, i taking the 2nd level HW module. den 'cos my java exams, i din have time to read up n study the module. or, + after the first lesson, i feel it's VERY simple n can-pass-1, so din bother to take time to read up n attend the lessons, oni when first 2nd asgt is due, den i dunno wat to ans, i went to class again, n realise how chim it is. ok, since taking up the 2nd level module, i feel i somehow, lack the foundation i built up 1 yr back. tat y so hard to mi to grasp the gis.
so, ya, prepared to re-take the moduke. n yes, if u din catch the hint, at this moment, i kinda set my mind to finish my monash first. but still may go to fields other than IT. perhaps to earn money first? IT now sucks ofr mi, cos my kowledge is too low level, unless i go for java basic program job. duno. haha, thot of some other things, but.. dunno once more for short.
anyway, it warms my heart to get a comment from carameal, as though 2 guys on the verge of breaking r encouraging each other. n it touches mi to see the line abt graduating together.. haha... pals in need r pals indeed.
destiny, as in... destined tat i dun have time to read my exam. u know, i slept for about 6 hrs siazz.. mean, 6 hrs i no study at all. my boss oso called to see if i keng 1. having lost 6 hrs, n knowing NUTS, or jus BASICS of my exam, i can oni depend on reading the books, skimming the notes, and revising the asgts to update my knowledge. frankly, this exam, i no cofidence of passing. for the monday exam (24/10), i stand a chance. cos the theories i can smoke thru, n argue thru wif my prac exp, den the program skills part, i oso ok, cos i used to it. i even thot, how come they asking such simple questions? wif my (own) level, these r considered pri sch std to mi. but i still did it, telling myself jus ans watever simple question they ask.
for fri exam, i think will b my first time to walk out within 1 hr... cos... haha, totally no clue how to answer the questios... will keep my fings crossed still. actually, as i studying, i oso thot of simply not atetnd the exam, as i know i sure flunk. but then, w/o trying is not my style. n after i try, cos this sem the lecturer is first time coordingating the module, her style may b diff in setting exam. if i fail this time, i will know her pattern and know how to deal wif her. haha, in fact, after writing this line, I AM contemplating (read: To have in mind as an intention or possibility) of really not studying since i so no confi in passing. i mean, i got 10-12 SGs to revise (read up), each SG has 30-50 slides to go thru. the slides, well, contain oni pt form info. i lost the foundation of internal HW. failing the asgts mean i totally dun understand the contents. i can depend on the books to give mi back the foundation, but in 2 days? i did try the asgts from wat i learn from the bk, but i still failed 3 outta 5. the first asgt i lack 1 pt from a perfect score as it;s DAMN easy. the last asgt got border line pass, cos i din answer to wat the marker was looking for.
all of u, pls... pray? dunno lei, cos i no confi i will pass. will pray help? can oni depend on luck n my smoking skills. i'm actually prepared to re-take tis module. cos, been 1 yr since i took my last HW related module. HW i totally clueless n blur. den now, suddenly, i taking the 2nd level HW module. den 'cos my java exams, i din have time to read up n study the module. or, + after the first lesson, i feel it's VERY simple n can-pass-1, so din bother to take time to read up n attend the lessons, oni when first 2nd asgt is due, den i dunno wat to ans, i went to class again, n realise how chim it is. ok, since taking up the 2nd level module, i feel i somehow, lack the foundation i built up 1 yr back. tat y so hard to mi to grasp the gis.
so, ya, prepared to re-take the moduke. n yes, if u din catch the hint, at this moment, i kinda set my mind to finish my monash first. but still may go to fields other than IT. perhaps to earn money first? IT now sucks ofr mi, cos my kowledge is too low level, unless i go for java basic program job. duno. haha, thot of some other things, but.. dunno once more for short.
anyway, it warms my heart to get a comment from carameal, as though 2 guys on the verge of breaking r encouraging each other. n it touches mi to see the line abt graduating together.. haha... pals in need r pals indeed.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
disappointing stories come to me 1 by 1.
1) i'm not used to studying hard anymore. been wnating to wake at 3-5am to read notes, but... but i'll either wake up, forget wat happened, n sleep again. alarm does not help.
2) my brain seem to have burnt out. in the sense, i'm really tired out.. or perhaps, i've given up in the chase for high qualification. i totally.. jus read thru the notes, unless i remind myself, i have no idea wat thigns shld i memorise. for my java, it's the same. i know the theories. but the qns r quite tricky. i saw that in the basic exam. but... was not prepared for it in the adv 1.
n i muz admit, the failure in java did affect mi, causing a disruption to my dreams of full-fledged programmer. until.. this... monash.
right now, i'm only waiting to give my last shot, den enjoy n relax. n for those frns who i tok to these few days, thx a heaven lot (hell is not a gd word) for ur accompany, and care/concern, and luv. i've been holding myself back a lot for now, hope i can totally let myself go after my exams, and show my appreciation for those who been supporting mi... behind the scenes..
talkign about enjoyign n relax.. it means returning to myself. Mariah's song: no stress no pain, i'm leaving it all behind. in fact, 4 songs r inside my mind.
1) Mariah Carey's It's Like That
2) TATU's All About Us
3) Mavis Fan's We want us to be together
4) Fish Leong's Unconditional, For you
3) n i realis tat, over these days, or period of time, i've not read the papers, although i can still think logically n analyse, but i've become pretty blur. 1 such incident is when i visited Singapore pools. there r 4 containers who picking out a number eeach. to think, i actuall thot... 1 container pick a winning 4 digits each. there r 23 combos of 4D to get. it's a prime number. how come put 23 container? who can the container finish the job for 23 combos?
den i realise, 1 container pick 1 number of a combo. DUHZ... m i really so burned out?
4) a loyal reader of mine (William ie), had commented tat i shld not focus so much on 1 thing n perhaps lose the goodness of another. well, if i've passed my exams properly, i've made a good sacrifice. but now, i doubt it.
5) not been visitng my frns' blogzss for a long time. as i have the thot of focussing on my exam. but it seem futile... n yes, i wasn't tat apreciative of my frns's efforts in the past, in the sense, i din voice out how grateful i am/was. now, i'm getting more appreciative... :) hope i'm beign more empathic in this way
my alarm has jus went off at 3pm. imagine. it rang 3am, den til l330am or 352am den i woke to TURN IT OFF
1) i'm not used to studying hard anymore. been wnating to wake at 3-5am to read notes, but... but i'll either wake up, forget wat happened, n sleep again. alarm does not help.
2) my brain seem to have burnt out. in the sense, i'm really tired out.. or perhaps, i've given up in the chase for high qualification. i totally.. jus read thru the notes, unless i remind myself, i have no idea wat thigns shld i memorise. for my java, it's the same. i know the theories. but the qns r quite tricky. i saw that in the basic exam. but... was not prepared for it in the adv 1.
n i muz admit, the failure in java did affect mi, causing a disruption to my dreams of full-fledged programmer. until.. this... monash.
right now, i'm only waiting to give my last shot, den enjoy n relax. n for those frns who i tok to these few days, thx a heaven lot (hell is not a gd word) for ur accompany, and care/concern, and luv. i've been holding myself back a lot for now, hope i can totally let myself go after my exams, and show my appreciation for those who been supporting mi... behind the scenes..
talkign about enjoyign n relax.. it means returning to myself. Mariah's song: no stress no pain, i'm leaving it all behind. in fact, 4 songs r inside my mind.
1) Mariah Carey's It's Like That
2) TATU's All About Us
3) Mavis Fan's We want us to be together
4) Fish Leong's Unconditional, For you
3) n i realis tat, over these days, or period of time, i've not read the papers, although i can still think logically n analyse, but i've become pretty blur. 1 such incident is when i visited Singapore pools. there r 4 containers who picking out a number eeach. to think, i actuall thot... 1 container pick a winning 4 digits each. there r 23 combos of 4D to get. it's a prime number. how come put 23 container? who can the container finish the job for 23 combos?
den i realise, 1 container pick 1 number of a combo. DUHZ... m i really so burned out?
4) a loyal reader of mine (William ie), had commented tat i shld not focus so much on 1 thing n perhaps lose the goodness of another. well, if i've passed my exams properly, i've made a good sacrifice. but now, i doubt it.
5) not been visitng my frns' blogzss for a long time. as i have the thot of focussing on my exam. but it seem futile... n yes, i wasn't tat apreciative of my frns's efforts in the past, in the sense, i din voice out how grateful i am/was. now, i'm getting more appreciative... :) hope i'm beign more empathic in this way
my alarm has jus went off at 3pm. imagine. it rang 3am, den til l330am or 352am den i woke to TURN IT OFF
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
i dunno wat happening to mi siazz..
1) i jus got asgt 4 back. passing is 50, i got 14.5. i was TOTALLY stunned. den later i saw a post saying the total shld b 35 oni... dunno wait first. wah liao... i think i can.. 1 mroe time, prepare to fail my exam if my understanding is really SO BAD.
2) today was writing my blog, n maybe some other things, den the power supply totally CUT. all my computer things disappeared. wah lioa........... can we ask for compensation? the blog was LOng.. cos i realy wrote as i thot.
3) my impression is tat, the tuff monash module exam is next mon. den i jus wanna check the dates n times of the exam. to my surprise, the tuffer exam is next fri. the easier 1, web design is the coming mon. sianzzz... wat's wrong wif mi?
4) in the 3rd quarter of the yr, my life seem to be having lotsa probs. java, monash, time mgmt. career.
5) watching the tv, i saw the depression ad. suicidal thots, depressed, agitated. i'm having it. but overtime, i managed to pull myself thru. somehow, being independent makes u more independent. u need to understand urself n wat u going thru, so u will not make the wrong decision...
6) somehow i managed to understand why... when ppl r given the chance to seek greener pastures, their loved ones worry. worry that they cant keep them by their side. afraid to lose them. i facing this right now. in the vening, my left eye twitched. i duno wat it mean. now i kinda guessed it. well, i dun see any help in denying tat greener pasture from the person. if the person insist, the route will be given. wat's ur is urs..
1) i jus got asgt 4 back. passing is 50, i got 14.5. i was TOTALLY stunned. den later i saw a post saying the total shld b 35 oni... dunno wait first. wah liao... i think i can.. 1 mroe time, prepare to fail my exam if my understanding is really SO BAD.
2) today was writing my blog, n maybe some other things, den the power supply totally CUT. all my computer things disappeared. wah lioa........... can we ask for compensation? the blog was LOng.. cos i realy wrote as i thot.
3) my impression is tat, the tuff monash module exam is next mon. den i jus wanna check the dates n times of the exam. to my surprise, the tuffer exam is next fri. the easier 1, web design is the coming mon. sianzzz... wat's wrong wif mi?
4) in the 3rd quarter of the yr, my life seem to be having lotsa probs. java, monash, time mgmt. career.
5) watching the tv, i saw the depression ad. suicidal thots, depressed, agitated. i'm having it. but overtime, i managed to pull myself thru. somehow, being independent makes u more independent. u need to understand urself n wat u going thru, so u will not make the wrong decision...
6) somehow i managed to understand why... when ppl r given the chance to seek greener pastures, their loved ones worry. worry that they cant keep them by their side. afraid to lose them. i facing this right now. in the vening, my left eye twitched. i duno wat it mean. now i kinda guessed it. well, i dun see any help in denying tat greener pasture from the person. if the person insist, the route will be given. wat's ur is urs..
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
not forgetting somthing. in my poly days... i have often been lying. i felt quite ok. cos i think my lies were quite flawless. until i saw jackie chan commercial. he say he dun like to lie, as he need to come up with another lie to cover the first one. it's very tiring. i saw some truth in it. n decided to b truthful. n i've alwasy been wanting to b true n frank abt my orientation. cos there r places which r exclusive to gays, but will b obvious if i were to say it out.
i had a job whcih i was frank abt myself. ya, to the extent of even telling a yandao colleague tat he does look good too. 3 wks later, i was transferred to another br. this br, i work 4 days lao. den they tell mi they dun need mi anymore. i discussed this online n realised that i was 2 open. coming out is 1 issue, and telling a str8 guy i like him is another.
from then on, i decided it's unwise to b tat frank. n hide my orientation all the way. till now. it's pretty tiring. 'cos i cant let ppl know abt it, i can't discuss some things wif them. cos i got no job security, i dun wan my orientation to b an obstacle to my success. it's really like living in a conflicted self.
i'm an introvert by nature. i can b an extrovert if i choose to be, altho will b tiring. soemhow, other gays seem to be living a happy life without coming out at all. but wif mi, not so. so i think, it's my PR skills. somehow i really prefer a place where... my orientation can b a known-2-all. but will not affect my job. it's a risk i have to take though.
bur right now, it's not a good/rite time to think of career path. w/o managing to tok to SOS line, i feel i muz do well, at least in this upcoming exam.
i had a job whcih i was frank abt myself. ya, to the extent of even telling a yandao colleague tat he does look good too. 3 wks later, i was transferred to another br. this br, i work 4 days lao. den they tell mi they dun need mi anymore. i discussed this online n realised that i was 2 open. coming out is 1 issue, and telling a str8 guy i like him is another.
from then on, i decided it's unwise to b tat frank. n hide my orientation all the way. till now. it's pretty tiring. 'cos i cant let ppl know abt it, i can't discuss some things wif them. cos i got no job security, i dun wan my orientation to b an obstacle to my success. it's really like living in a conflicted self.
i'm an introvert by nature. i can b an extrovert if i choose to be, altho will b tiring. soemhow, other gays seem to be living a happy life without coming out at all. but wif mi, not so. so i think, it's my PR skills. somehow i really prefer a place where... my orientation can b a known-2-all. but will not affect my job. it's a risk i have to take though.
bur right now, it's not a good/rite time to think of career path. w/o managing to tok to SOS line, i feel i muz do well, at least in this upcoming exam.
Monday, October 17, 2005
haha, ever heard of banana being circumcised??
ytday was really a joke. for the morning bfast, my left eye twitched. i went for bfast, n had a bad time. the main course not satisfying, n the side dish... wah liao, pissed mi off siazz... den it's raining when we reached home. so i took a nap, as no plan for the day. n i dun wan do anything. jus wnana rest my life.
den suddenly decided to go out. had wanna go home first den go out. but wah liao, too late liao by tthe tim i leave my home. so, at my family there, altho i dun have much things to wear for outing. i jus grabbed soemthing tat match den hair oso nothign to cover. my dress code VELI poly/sec age siazz.. my hair is the spoilsport. wah liao, den hor even got ppl wanna cruise mi siazz.. (leave it to last para, provided i rmb to write)
but, jus b4 i step out of house, i got left eye twitch again. sighzz.z. guess i gotta b careful? it's seem my 6th sense? right eye is good thing, left eye bad? in e end, i supposed to do laundry in evening, but end up doing in EARLY morning. resd 1am. guess i shldn't keep on the tease. scali it backfire...
abt the cuirsing, well, cut short e story. i have bad impression of ppl, who wanna make their presence felt by "coughin" or some rude n rough gestures.
den today at work, i kinda... got surrpises... i defended my snr when the boss felt soemthing is not rite. den when solving a case, the jnr gave some suggestions, but i felt they dun apply so i din do, and these r drastic acts. so i took the time to resolve it. n finally made it. haha, even the user was happy isazz... n the jnr, although keep urging mi to use her ways, was silent when my persistence paid off. lastly, a new prod is coming out. n i volunteered to check wif the person in charge, resultign in new findings...
den hor, as usual/normal, i was on way to work, den i stunned all the way. i jus stared into blank. duno wat to do abt my future. cos i think IT is not my way. pub singing, teaching, columnist, technical writer, biz, tuition tr, n things tat dun need CERTSSSS (check the number of Ss).
pub singing. sighzz, a fat/wet dream?
teaching. can give a try, but how much can i earn? scrimpt n save is 2 tiresome for mi liao
columnist. i may b a braggart, or over confi. cos my colleagues in office,their language is not my level. i feel tat i am good at language. n wif my view of issues, perhaps i can join in n offer some readers my POV? but no idea where to start
technical writer. dunno wat tat is. but i can write, n got technical background. know how to explain in layperon term. do i fit the bill?
biz. i oso gto think, wif my character, i like to b in charge n do things my way. if i have my biz, i can decide wat shld happen. but wat idea do i have to start it? n captital?
tuition tr. quite ok, but i haven't touched books a long tiem...
den i thto of being adviser. cos i kinda know how it works liao. but den, it's VERY odd tat i suddenly approach an agency n ask ot b adviser. n no 1 find mi. i'm stuck.
den today at work, got 1 case pending for some tiem. she got prob sending proposals. no update from her yet. so i called her to check again. she say he bz n will call back. later after lunch, she really called. n she really appreciated tat i still rmb her case n followed up. cos, she;s right to say, "even if i dun follow up, no 1 knows, n she forgot oso. n everytime she say she will call back, but never did. end up i call her". she is happy tat i got such attitude.
so we chatted a bit. she ask mi more abt myself. she is agent, but developing into leader. n cos i told her, i wanna earn more money, so tat later on in life, can enjoy myself, she ask if i wanna become agent. n ask if anyone ask mi thsi qn b4. i told her some ppl wanna us buy policy from them lah. but first time have ppl ask mi to b agent.
she say she sense tat i'm diligent, n have the intention to make more money. n she told mi, there's no pt in keeping up wif paper qualification. she got dip in BA from SP. den took some ACCA oso, n later on some IT cert, cos she feel IT will b the trend. now she in insurance. i find tat it's really qiao loh... she frankly said, i muz b shameless (thick skinned) n willing to work hard to succeed. last time, due to a large amount of investment fund lacking, i cant go for passive income. now, for insur, i duno liao. cos for now, the oni investment i can think of is, the laptop for the job, n courses tat i need to attend. of cos, i may need to pay for the courses tat i gonna attend.
i'm not sure. the adviser was keen to get mi. n, wif my inclination to take a short rest every now n den, i think i really wan a job tat can let mi control my own time. n i dun mind changing myself to b extrovert, i mean, i can make myself frnly n b chatty. yes it's tiring, but i'm ok wif it. at end of day, i still become a loner? haha, sound superficial hor? oh well, at work, who aint?
recently, got 2 incident. i dunno if it's considered racial prejudice. got 1 indian staff. a guy who joined us 2 mths back commented in the office openly tat, the air freshener smells nicer than the indian's perfume.
n the snr, i dunno wat happened. suddenly, the indian was blamed for not performing a job well. he claimed tat the snr din state the special terms. snr at this time, called the mgmt office n exclaimed tat the indian din fllow the special terms. the indian den defended "u din state the terms, dun say i din follow" in a defensive n soft stance. den the snr later said jokingly, "nvm lah, even the mgmt has not finished wif the prep stuff yet"... wah such quick change in attitude.. hahah...
is there a good working env, where the ppl really is serious in makingt he place good to work in? where every1 is open?
ytday was really a joke. for the morning bfast, my left eye twitched. i went for bfast, n had a bad time. the main course not satisfying, n the side dish... wah liao, pissed mi off siazz... den it's raining when we reached home. so i took a nap, as no plan for the day. n i dun wan do anything. jus wnana rest my life.
den suddenly decided to go out. had wanna go home first den go out. but wah liao, too late liao by tthe tim i leave my home. so, at my family there, altho i dun have much things to wear for outing. i jus grabbed soemthing tat match den hair oso nothign to cover. my dress code VELI poly/sec age siazz.. my hair is the spoilsport. wah liao, den hor even got ppl wanna cruise mi siazz.. (leave it to last para, provided i rmb to write)
but, jus b4 i step out of house, i got left eye twitch again. sighzz.z. guess i gotta b careful? it's seem my 6th sense? right eye is good thing, left eye bad? in e end, i supposed to do laundry in evening, but end up doing in EARLY morning. resd 1am. guess i shldn't keep on the tease. scali it backfire...
abt the cuirsing, well, cut short e story. i have bad impression of ppl, who wanna make their presence felt by "coughin" or some rude n rough gestures.
den today at work, i kinda... got surrpises... i defended my snr when the boss felt soemthing is not rite. den when solving a case, the jnr gave some suggestions, but i felt they dun apply so i din do, and these r drastic acts. so i took the time to resolve it. n finally made it. haha, even the user was happy isazz... n the jnr, although keep urging mi to use her ways, was silent when my persistence paid off. lastly, a new prod is coming out. n i volunteered to check wif the person in charge, resultign in new findings...
den hor, as usual/normal, i was on way to work, den i stunned all the way. i jus stared into blank. duno wat to do abt my future. cos i think IT is not my way. pub singing, teaching, columnist, technical writer, biz, tuition tr, n things tat dun need CERTSSSS (check the number of Ss).
pub singing. sighzz, a fat/wet dream?
teaching. can give a try, but how much can i earn? scrimpt n save is 2 tiresome for mi liao
columnist. i may b a braggart, or over confi. cos my colleagues in office,their language is not my level. i feel tat i am good at language. n wif my view of issues, perhaps i can join in n offer some readers my POV? but no idea where to start
technical writer. dunno wat tat is. but i can write, n got technical background. know how to explain in layperon term. do i fit the bill?
biz. i oso gto think, wif my character, i like to b in charge n do things my way. if i have my biz, i can decide wat shld happen. but wat idea do i have to start it? n captital?
tuition tr. quite ok, but i haven't touched books a long tiem...
den i thto of being adviser. cos i kinda know how it works liao. but den, it's VERY odd tat i suddenly approach an agency n ask ot b adviser. n no 1 find mi. i'm stuck.
den today at work, got 1 case pending for some tiem. she got prob sending proposals. no update from her yet. so i called her to check again. she say he bz n will call back. later after lunch, she really called. n she really appreciated tat i still rmb her case n followed up. cos, she;s right to say, "even if i dun follow up, no 1 knows, n she forgot oso. n everytime she say she will call back, but never did. end up i call her". she is happy tat i got such attitude.
so we chatted a bit. she ask mi more abt myself. she is agent, but developing into leader. n cos i told her, i wanna earn more money, so tat later on in life, can enjoy myself, she ask if i wanna become agent. n ask if anyone ask mi thsi qn b4. i told her some ppl wanna us buy policy from them lah. but first time have ppl ask mi to b agent.
she say she sense tat i'm diligent, n have the intention to make more money. n she told mi, there's no pt in keeping up wif paper qualification. she got dip in BA from SP. den took some ACCA oso, n later on some IT cert, cos she feel IT will b the trend. now she in insurance. i find tat it's really qiao loh... she frankly said, i muz b shameless (thick skinned) n willing to work hard to succeed. last time, due to a large amount of investment fund lacking, i cant go for passive income. now, for insur, i duno liao. cos for now, the oni investment i can think of is, the laptop for the job, n courses tat i need to attend. of cos, i may need to pay for the courses tat i gonna attend.
i'm not sure. the adviser was keen to get mi. n, wif my inclination to take a short rest every now n den, i think i really wan a job tat can let mi control my own time. n i dun mind changing myself to b extrovert, i mean, i can make myself frnly n b chatty. yes it's tiring, but i'm ok wif it. at end of day, i still become a loner? haha, sound superficial hor? oh well, at work, who aint?
recently, got 2 incident. i dunno if it's considered racial prejudice. got 1 indian staff. a guy who joined us 2 mths back commented in the office openly tat, the air freshener smells nicer than the indian's perfume.
n the snr, i dunno wat happened. suddenly, the indian was blamed for not performing a job well. he claimed tat the snr din state the special terms. snr at this time, called the mgmt office n exclaimed tat the indian din fllow the special terms. the indian den defended "u din state the terms, dun say i din follow" in a defensive n soft stance. den the snr later said jokingly, "nvm lah, even the mgmt has not finished wif the prep stuff yet"... wah such quick change in attitude.. hahah...
is there a good working env, where the ppl really is serious in makingt he place good to work in? where every1 is open?
-- matie!
to be honest sweetie, lied to u before...i remember lying to yeh that my dick is smaller. lol...
it's okie dokie to eat more. no worries about it. i eat alot no as well...
yeah! give the customer service @ pacnet a buzz...scream your head off at them yer...
show them what ya made of!!!!
QUEER POWER!
===========
huh? did we discuss this b4?? anyway, not keen to know the dick size... u cant tempt mi at all...
ok to eat more, but financially stuck does not give a good reason.
ya, i caleld Pacnet up. i was so firm n stern in my tone siazz.. they say will post mi the invoice again. i think i wnana switch ISP soon liaozz...
===============
"you are getting very self conscious as far a i can read."
yes, since i'm knowing more n more abt myself... even know tat, i'm still introvert to str8 ppl. esp when i cant b so truthful to them.
=============
"I always had good luck w/ dog and cat together. The last cat hasn't been very nice to dog but the situation has mellowed considerably. The old cats used to play very hard w/ the dog, other people thought they were hurting each other and they were just having fun. Good luck!"
quite true... i'd luv to try it :)
==============
btw, calf is an elementary word...
a baby cow is called a vealer.
lol...
i do have a frd that has a dog and a cat. they have both grow up together...till the extend when the dog died, the cat has also lost it's motivation to live.i'm serious. i always think that this incident is trying to tell me something.
===============
hey, vealer is a calf who is destined to be served as a meal. did u check your dictionary? :D
well, the pets have grown to depend on each other.
===============
" you should seduce that fatty and rape him..then hor, your frustration will be all gone."
fatty?? i dun wan die of haert attack siazz.. i wanna stick to my healthy diet.
==================
for my xmen results, seem like... my aj frns.. close 1s have gotten jean grey as the top choice. den my close gal pal, oso got jean. haha, do all ajs, who usualy make decisions, have her as top choice?
====================
a recent comment:
" IT doesnt only revolve ard Java rite? Why so drastic huh? "
i dunno who commented, so dunno how much this person know mi. It does not revolve around java yes. It is a BIG industry. it keep changing. hwo fast can u keep up? ppl have diff interest when it comes to IT. some HW, some MM, some networking. mi is programming. if i go into either of them, i'll hav a HARD time coping. programming is my forte, cos i like the logical way it works. i dun have to play by its rules n live by its temper. i can make it work the way i wan.
n java is the language i love. if u have the interest, u will have the luck. if i go into other languaes, i may make it. but who know? furthermore, i may need certain certs b4 i can take it. n i have the passion for java. hwo am i gonna convince ppl tat the language is good? jus 'cos it pop?
====================
to be honest sweetie, lied to u before...i remember lying to yeh that my dick is smaller. lol...
it's okie dokie to eat more. no worries about it. i eat alot no as well...
yeah! give the customer service @ pacnet a buzz...scream your head off at them yer...
show them what ya made of!!!!
QUEER POWER!
===========
huh? did we discuss this b4?? anyway, not keen to know the dick size... u cant tempt mi at all...
ok to eat more, but financially stuck does not give a good reason.
ya, i caleld Pacnet up. i was so firm n stern in my tone siazz.. they say will post mi the invoice again. i think i wnana switch ISP soon liaozz...
===============
"you are getting very self conscious as far a i can read."
yes, since i'm knowing more n more abt myself... even know tat, i'm still introvert to str8 ppl. esp when i cant b so truthful to them.
=============
"I always had good luck w/ dog and cat together. The last cat hasn't been very nice to dog but the situation has mellowed considerably. The old cats used to play very hard w/ the dog, other people thought they were hurting each other and they were just having fun. Good luck!"
quite true... i'd luv to try it :)
==============
btw, calf is an elementary word...
a baby cow is called a vealer.
lol...
i do have a frd that has a dog and a cat. they have both grow up together...till the extend when the dog died, the cat has also lost it's motivation to live.i'm serious. i always think that this incident is trying to tell me something.
===============
hey, vealer is a calf who is destined to be served as a meal. did u check your dictionary? :D
well, the pets have grown to depend on each other.
===============
" you should seduce that fatty and rape him..then hor, your frustration will be all gone."
fatty?? i dun wan die of haert attack siazz.. i wanna stick to my healthy diet.
==================
for my xmen results, seem like... my aj frns.. close 1s have gotten jean grey as the top choice. den my close gal pal, oso got jean. haha, do all ajs, who usualy make decisions, have her as top choice?
====================
a recent comment:
" IT doesnt only revolve ard Java rite? Why so drastic huh? "
i dunno who commented, so dunno how much this person know mi. It does not revolve around java yes. It is a BIG industry. it keep changing. hwo fast can u keep up? ppl have diff interest when it comes to IT. some HW, some MM, some networking. mi is programming. if i go into either of them, i'll hav a HARD time coping. programming is my forte, cos i like the logical way it works. i dun have to play by its rules n live by its temper. i can make it work the way i wan.
n java is the language i love. if u have the interest, u will have the luck. if i go into other languaes, i may make it. but who know? furthermore, i may need certain certs b4 i can take it. n i have the passion for java. hwo am i gonna convince ppl tat the language is good? jus 'cos it pop?
====================
Sunday, October 16, 2005
On 25th August, I took my WCD java test. There are 69 scored questions in the exam. I answered 30 correct, giving my 43%. The passing score is 62%. My score is 43%.
So, I flunked it. Alright, I then borrowed from NLB, an exam study guide 310-080 version. My exam is version 310-081. Got difference. So I checked the itnernet, and found a site whcih seem to offer guidance on 081 topic. but it's more of a crash course, assuming u have the basics and it merely emphasises on the key points.
I studied both. Or perhaps, read and studied.
2 months later, on 15th October, I took my WCD java test again. in my thots, as i'ved failed once, I'm mentally prepared to fail again. Altough, i thot since i studied SO HARD, i shld have a chance to pass. but i lost the confidence liao. i thot b4. if this tiem, 2nd time, i still dun pass, i can say It is really not a path for mi to stay on. some reasons maybe, i'm on the technology side whcih keep improving. will i be able to keep up? n this time, if i missed it again, i guess it's fated i cant do IT anymore. cos my IT dip was gotten 5 yrs back. so if stil dun pass, i think i can give IT up. but i still hope for the best lah.
Today, there are 69 scored questions in the exam. I answered 42 correct, giving my 60%. The passing score is 62%. My score is 60%. I made the calculation. I missed by 1 question. To get 62% correct, I needed 42.78 questions right at least. Scoring 60%, I only got 41.4 questions correct.
I really did pretty well 2nd time. As perhaps as fate decreed, nothing gonna happen. and the book did not seem to help a lot. Remember, I only had the practical sessions to help me with my Attempt 1.
And this time, I did not put the pressure on my self to blame anything. I took it in my stride. Took it that, Heaven/Fate does not want mi on IT path anymore. I'm aleady prepared for this failure. What or who can I blame?
Blame java for not making the questions simpler? for not pan-chan-ning mi? blame authors for not comiong out wif the new book fast? oh well. I'm not sure of my plan now. But my first thought is to give up IT. Give up pursuing IT as a career. I intend to call SOS line for counselling.
| Sect 1 | 50% | Sect 2 | 62% |
| Sect 3 | 57% | Sect 4 | 42% |
| Sect 5 | 50% | Sect 6 | 71% |
| Sect 7 | 0% | Sect 8 | 0% |
| Sect 9 | 12% | Sect 10 | 80% |
| Sect 11 | 33% |
So, I flunked it. Alright, I then borrowed from NLB, an exam study guide 310-080 version. My exam is version 310-081. Got difference. So I checked the itnernet, and found a site whcih seem to offer guidance on 081 topic. but it's more of a crash course, assuming u have the basics and it merely emphasises on the key points.
I studied both. Or perhaps, read and studied.
2 months later, on 15th October, I took my WCD java test again. in my thots, as i'ved failed once, I'm mentally prepared to fail again. Altough, i thot since i studied SO HARD, i shld have a chance to pass. but i lost the confidence liao. i thot b4. if this tiem, 2nd time, i still dun pass, i can say It is really not a path for mi to stay on. some reasons maybe, i'm on the technology side whcih keep improving. will i be able to keep up? n this time, if i missed it again, i guess it's fated i cant do IT anymore. cos my IT dip was gotten 5 yrs back. so if stil dun pass, i think i can give IT up. but i still hope for the best lah.
Today, there are 69 scored questions in the exam. I answered 42 correct, giving my 60%. The passing score is 62%. My score is 60%. I made the calculation. I missed by 1 question. To get 62% correct, I needed 42.78 questions right at least. Scoring 60%, I only got 41.4 questions correct.
| Sect 1 | 50% | Sect 2 | 50% |
| Sect 3 | 71% | Sect 4 | 57% |
| Sect 5 | 83% | Sect 6 | 71% |
| Sect 7 | 60% | Sect 8 | 50% |
| Sect 9 | 62% | Sect 10 | 40% |
| Sect 11 | 66% |
I really did pretty well 2nd time. As perhaps as fate decreed, nothing gonna happen. and the book did not seem to help a lot. Remember, I only had the practical sessions to help me with my Attempt 1.
And this time, I did not put the pressure on my self to blame anything. I took it in my stride. Took it that, Heaven/Fate does not want mi on IT path anymore. I'm aleady prepared for this failure. What or who can I blame?
Blame java for not making the questions simpler? for not pan-chan-ning mi? blame authors for not comiong out wif the new book fast? oh well. I'm not sure of my plan now. But my first thought is to give up IT. Give up pursuing IT as a career. I intend to call SOS line for counselling.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
am i rewally so BAD in PR?? it seems tat my frns can udnerstand mi. but wif the group of colleagues whom i spent 6 mths wif, at times, they still think i'm blur. dunno, in my opinions, sometimes they dun share their findings wif mi, although, as a team player, i pass new info to them.
somehow, i think,... does my programmer logical thinking make a gap between mi n em? anyway, i'm still doing last min prep for my java. i thot abt it. this is my 2nd try. if, worst case, i still dun make it, i'll take it that, this path ain't my future...
somehow, i think,... does my programmer logical thinking make a gap between mi n em? anyway, i'm still doing last min prep for my java. i thot abt it. this is my 2nd try. if, worst case, i still dun make it, i'll take it that, this path ain't my future...
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
 | You scored as Jean Grey. Jean Grey is likely the most powerful X-Man. She loves Cyclops very much but she has a soft spot for Wolverine. She's psychic so she can sense how others are feeling and tries to help them. She also has to control her amazing powers or the malevolent Phoenix entity could take control of her and wreak havok. Powers: Telekinetic, Telepathic |
| Jean Grey | 80% | ||
Rogue | 80% | ||
Beast | 75% | ||
Emma Frost | 70% | ||
Wolverine | 65% | ||
Iceman | 65% | ||
Nightcrawler | 65% | ||
Gambit | 65% | ||
Storm | 60% | ||
Cyclops | 60% | ||
Colossus | 55% |
created with QuizFarm.com
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
i'm trying not to blog, cos will be busy for next 2 wks.
but haha, u guessed it?, i cant resist from blogging this. during my sec sch days, i always think of keeping a puppy n kitten TOGETHER. i know cats r "frightened" of dogs, n dogs suually will chase cats. but i wanna see if there a chance. see if dogs can b nurtured to grow up wif cats.
den hor, saw from tv news, a lioness n her cub grown up as performing animals. all along, they been fed wif sliced raw meat. den, this time, in the zoo, a calf (young of cow right?) was put into the cage. at first the lion went up n patted the calf. later on, duno wat went on, the calf chased after them. when the calf forced them to corner/side, they jumped away. the tourist cheered.
well, i find out pretty funny, but cruel... try putting yourself in their shoes...
but haha, u guessed it?, i cant resist from blogging this. during my sec sch days, i always think of keeping a puppy n kitten TOGETHER. i know cats r "frightened" of dogs, n dogs suually will chase cats. but i wanna see if there a chance. see if dogs can b nurtured to grow up wif cats.
den hor, saw from tv news, a lioness n her cub grown up as performing animals. all along, they been fed wif sliced raw meat. den, this time, in the zoo, a calf (young of cow right?) was put into the cage. at first the lion went up n patted the calf. later on, duno wat went on, the calf chased after them. when the calf forced them to corner/side, they jumped away. the tourist cheered.
well, i find out pretty funny, but cruel... try putting yourself in their shoes...
Thursday, October 06, 2005
QUEER POWER IN ACTION!!!!
hehe, i kinda can luff my head off when i think abt it. cos it'smy first time to b so drama n ... obvious.
i boarded the bus as usual to work. 1 or 2 stops later, (i thot of this description in 2 secs, and think it's pretty cool) a fat arse wif a dick came to sit beside mi. i quite ok. but somehow, i feel tat his body is getting nearer n nearer to mi. wah liao, den suddenly, when he taking something out from his pants pockets, his arm really rubbed onto mi!!! really those intentional rub, not accidental type!!! gosh!!! cos he din oni touch my sleeve n adjusted himself, but after rubbing, he bochap n continue as though nothing bad happened.
i was unhappy. i stared at him. he no response. so i shifted myself to stick to the wall. but i moved my bag so i ensured there's certain distance between us, n if my bag kena shifted, he's moving his legs to my side. i felt tat, his body still seem to move nearer n nearer. n his leg had touched my bag. he moved his arms. i can see tat he's not keeping the distance we had.
i was oredi thinking wat' i will do if anythign i not happy happened. i thot of jus standign up n move away. but secs later, i cooled down n din do anything. moments later, he moved his arms again, n it's even crossing over to my seat area. i pissed. i stared at him again. i was reading my bk, n i simply closed it, without making a mark. i stood up wif the book in my hand, n carrying my bag, n moved to the standing area. this happened jus as the bus was stoppign at a stop. those who r looking at my direction can see what's going on. cos 1 guy was at the front door, he was looking oso. den as i read my book, i noticed the arse hole was looking back oso. but i think it'll jus embarass him, by doing so.
cos i did such drastic n drama thing, ppl will surely feel something is wrong. but he simply looked back at the commuters... haha.. stupid act. wah liao, i'm surprised i really did such a exagg thing. i think the rest sure think tat arse hole got something wrong.
i dun get it. cos all along, in my mind, i was thinking, he's such big arse. yet when he sit, he bochap his size, n squeeze into the seat?? when he sat down, was ok cos he did keep a frnly distance (ie, not those stick to u pattern), but hwo come late rhe move more n more?? i adjusted my seating liao. den he still sit in some more......... liaozzzzzzzzzz. yes he's big, n i petite. so wat?? dun mean i muz have 30% of the seat, while he have 70%. kauzz.
den at work, was pretty fun.. or kinda fun. cos, somehow, i managed to chat up wif some users of our program. am i really getting frnly? dunno.. jus find tat, some ppl i can tok n joke wif. but, if ppl were to ask y, i wil jus say, it's 2 b frnly to them, so they wun b so nasty in future? cos if they know we are helping them, they wun b so hard n harsh on us...
n somehwo, i realise wat's wrong wif the work. our side is the listen phone type. we got 4 seats, each separated by a table. boss at 1st seat, snr 2nd, jnr 3rd, mi 4th. den snr know the system well, n jnr has been hard trained on the system, so not bad oso. den hor, let's say, if snr n jnr got discover things, they'll jus discuss among themselves. realise wat's going on, n keep it to themselves. unwittingly? duno. if i not on ph, i may know wat they trying to say, n hear. but if i on ph, i DUN THINK they will update mi. cos it's oni 1 time problem?? wat's more, snr is sitting 1 seat away from mi. aything they discuss, unless she really say loud, i sometimes muz go up to discuss. wah liaozz... anyway, i dun have hopes i will stay on.
==================
watching arts central now. i think from the show, i learnt prtty much. abt myself. i'm an introvert. hhah, tried to b extrovert, but over time realised it takes LOTSA hardwork n effort, whcih i'm not entirely used to, so soemtimes went back to my introvert self again. meaning, i can mix wif groups (extrovert), but i can b a lone ranger too, spending days myself. yes, i cna do it. well, i tried being extrovert, cos i oso wanna frns mah.. but my socialising skills SUX big time. so i tried to b more outgoing, but i think i overdid things, n.. haha, backfired :)
den they oso show kids mixing around well at the age of 3. n they will either watch TV or computer to kill time. haha, think of my past, i oso spent my day watching TV. nvr go out wif frns. after sch jus goh ome, watch TV. tat y during tat time, my uncle commented i super tv fan. ask mi anything abt TV, i sure know. den they oso show tat, kids learn from tv. i think i am, too. but duno how it affected mi.
n they had put 3 kids (all age 3) together. 2 kids started to mix around. 1 kid jus stood at a corner, watching, as a bystander. hehe, i think i oso same. in the past, i'll jus.. stand at a corner i isolate myself. n yes, i need getting used to, if i in new env. but now, due to wokring, i know i have to mix around. so maybe, i'll take some timet o warm up lah. hehe, let's say, .... dun need "let's say" lah.. take it or leave it. right now, i resume my monash studies.
perhaps 'cos i nvr attend class for 1 mth, i lost.. quite some time in mixing around. so, when i resumed my attendance, some ppl r oreadi chatting up. mi, i waited for an initiator. nothign happened, i jus stay by myself. i dun wish to mix around so much. perhaps, 'cos ppl r oredi acquainted with 1 another. may have problem wif ice breaking, so might as well... dun. :)
hehe, i kinda can luff my head off when i think abt it. cos it'smy first time to b so drama n ... obvious.
i boarded the bus as usual to work. 1 or 2 stops later, (i thot of this description in 2 secs, and think it's pretty cool) a fat arse wif a dick came to sit beside mi. i quite ok. but somehow, i feel tat his body is getting nearer n nearer to mi. wah liao, den suddenly, when he taking something out from his pants pockets, his arm really rubbed onto mi!!! really those intentional rub, not accidental type!!! gosh!!! cos he din oni touch my sleeve n adjusted himself, but after rubbing, he bochap n continue as though nothing bad happened.
i was unhappy. i stared at him. he no response. so i shifted myself to stick to the wall. but i moved my bag so i ensured there's certain distance between us, n if my bag kena shifted, he's moving his legs to my side. i felt tat, his body still seem to move nearer n nearer. n his leg had touched my bag. he moved his arms. i can see tat he's not keeping the distance we had.
i was oredi thinking wat' i will do if anythign i not happy happened. i thot of jus standign up n move away. but secs later, i cooled down n din do anything. moments later, he moved his arms again, n it's even crossing over to my seat area. i pissed. i stared at him again. i was reading my bk, n i simply closed it, without making a mark. i stood up wif the book in my hand, n carrying my bag, n moved to the standing area. this happened jus as the bus was stoppign at a stop. those who r looking at my direction can see what's going on. cos 1 guy was at the front door, he was looking oso. den as i read my book, i noticed the arse hole was looking back oso. but i think it'll jus embarass him, by doing so.
cos i did such drastic n drama thing, ppl will surely feel something is wrong. but he simply looked back at the commuters... haha.. stupid act. wah liao, i'm surprised i really did such a exagg thing. i think the rest sure think tat arse hole got something wrong.
i dun get it. cos all along, in my mind, i was thinking, he's such big arse. yet when he sit, he bochap his size, n squeeze into the seat?? when he sat down, was ok cos he did keep a frnly distance (ie, not those stick to u pattern), but hwo come late rhe move more n more?? i adjusted my seating liao. den he still sit in some more......... liaozzzzzzzzzz. yes he's big, n i petite. so wat?? dun mean i muz have 30% of the seat, while he have 70%. kauzz.
den at work, was pretty fun.. or kinda fun. cos, somehow, i managed to chat up wif some users of our program. am i really getting frnly? dunno.. jus find tat, some ppl i can tok n joke wif. but, if ppl were to ask y, i wil jus say, it's 2 b frnly to them, so they wun b so nasty in future? cos if they know we are helping them, they wun b so hard n harsh on us...
n somehwo, i realise wat's wrong wif the work. our side is the listen phone type. we got 4 seats, each separated by a table. boss at 1st seat, snr 2nd, jnr 3rd, mi 4th. den snr know the system well, n jnr has been hard trained on the system, so not bad oso. den hor, let's say, if snr n jnr got discover things, they'll jus discuss among themselves. realise wat's going on, n keep it to themselves. unwittingly? duno. if i not on ph, i may know wat they trying to say, n hear. but if i on ph, i DUN THINK they will update mi. cos it's oni 1 time problem?? wat's more, snr is sitting 1 seat away from mi. aything they discuss, unless she really say loud, i sometimes muz go up to discuss. wah liaozz... anyway, i dun have hopes i will stay on.
==================
watching arts central now. i think from the show, i learnt prtty much. abt myself. i'm an introvert. hhah, tried to b extrovert, but over time realised it takes LOTSA hardwork n effort, whcih i'm not entirely used to, so soemtimes went back to my introvert self again. meaning, i can mix wif groups (extrovert), but i can b a lone ranger too, spending days myself. yes, i cna do it. well, i tried being extrovert, cos i oso wanna frns mah.. but my socialising skills SUX big time. so i tried to b more outgoing, but i think i overdid things, n.. haha, backfired :)
den they oso show kids mixing around well at the age of 3. n they will either watch TV or computer to kill time. haha, think of my past, i oso spent my day watching TV. nvr go out wif frns. after sch jus goh ome, watch TV. tat y during tat time, my uncle commented i super tv fan. ask mi anything abt TV, i sure know. den they oso show tat, kids learn from tv. i think i am, too. but duno how it affected mi.
n they had put 3 kids (all age 3) together. 2 kids started to mix around. 1 kid jus stood at a corner, watching, as a bystander. hehe, i think i oso same. in the past, i'll jus.. stand at a corner i isolate myself. n yes, i need getting used to, if i in new env. but now, due to wokring, i know i have to mix around. so maybe, i'll take some timet o warm up lah. hehe, let's say, .... dun need "let's say" lah.. take it or leave it. right now, i resume my monash studies.
perhaps 'cos i nvr attend class for 1 mth, i lost.. quite some time in mixing around. so, when i resumed my attendance, some ppl r oreadi chatting up. mi, i waited for an initiator. nothign happened, i jus stay by myself. i dun wish to mix around so much. perhaps, 'cos ppl r oredi acquainted with 1 another. may have problem wif ice breaking, so might as well... dun. :)
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
i think i'm getting into the korean show. i'm thinkng of a phrase which the guy say.
"it's better to b frns, than lovers. cos lovers can break up n hurt a reln. frns will stay in touch forever".
now i thinking, why is this so? how come frns can stay in touch for yrs? when lovers meet, fall in love, and end up together, they shld b able to stay onf or yrs. r they reall so unforgiving ,tat leads to divorce? r frns more forgiving? or, as frns, they dun have so much restrictions, or when frns do something wrong, they r more willing to forgive n forget?
==================
somehow, this Xfiles story, remind mi of Mi-Li-Ye... mysterious nights.. esp the last story about those aliens (plant beings, as in human beings). den somehow like e ger has hopes tat human will become better, but guy dun think so. well, MLY, oso similar. zeng hui fen is the ger, she blif in human. n sacrifice herself to save human from destruction. (i was touched by her expression n the lines she said), when a guy decided to terminate humans...
err.. wonder if ch 8 will ever come up wif totally NEW story line anot...
"it's better to b frns, than lovers. cos lovers can break up n hurt a reln. frns will stay in touch forever".
now i thinking, why is this so? how come frns can stay in touch for yrs? when lovers meet, fall in love, and end up together, they shld b able to stay onf or yrs. r they reall so unforgiving ,tat leads to divorce? r frns more forgiving? or, as frns, they dun have so much restrictions, or when frns do something wrong, they r more willing to forgive n forget?
==================
somehow, this Xfiles story, remind mi of Mi-Li-Ye... mysterious nights.. esp the last story about those aliens (plant beings, as in human beings). den somehow like e ger has hopes tat human will become better, but guy dun think so. well, MLY, oso similar. zeng hui fen is the ger, she blif in human. n sacrifice herself to save human from destruction. (i was touched by her expression n the lines she said), when a guy decided to terminate humans...
err.. wonder if ch 8 will ever come up wif totally NEW story line anot...
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
had a bad day today? somehow.. yes.. or i 2 sensitive loh... anyway, since i've been changing jobs so many times/yr, i been not having sense of job security laiozz... once i make the slightest mistake, i tend to worry abt how will i b judged. today, i suddenly kena my colleagues' dynamite. they all comes together bomb mi. somehow, wat i feel is tat, i sitting at a corner. sometimes i'm on the phone, den they discussing thigns. i duno wat the hell they are toking abt. den they decided on soemthing, or a new resolution was known. then i dino tat.
i think this is affecting mi. i know i mMUZ GET OUT OF HERE. n den, when i heard tat, a new guy is coming in, i thot... my gosh.. suddenly, job insecurity comes in again. den, the sup say i may go over to tech support instead... ok...
but now, i suddenly no mood to study. perhaps the work stress affecting mi alot? i feel tat, i've been studying a lot... the more i study, the more i feel i dunno anything. the study guide din help. kinda no mood to study anymore... dunno.. i plan to defer my exam 1 more wk. i'm really tired... but i know, if i can't make it this time, both monash n java, i gonna have a HARD time.
i think this is affecting mi. i know i mMUZ GET OUT OF HERE. n den, when i heard tat, a new guy is coming in, i thot... my gosh.. suddenly, job insecurity comes in again. den, the sup say i may go over to tech support instead... ok...
but now, i suddenly no mood to study. perhaps the work stress affecting mi alot? i feel tat, i've been studying a lot... the more i study, the more i feel i dunno anything. the study guide din help. kinda no mood to study anymore... dunno.. i plan to defer my exam 1 more wk. i'm really tired... but i know, if i can't make it this time, both monash n java, i gonna have a HARD time.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
finished my web design 2nd asgt. but... from lesson 1 of asgt 1, i dunno if it's according to the specs anot.. sighzz.. den now, teh bk i borrow from NLb, seem like veli losoh in the bad way.. some things which not in my exam oso got cover.. dunno how to study... the best thing is, ok, cos i've taken the basic exam wif such study guide. tat SG really goes step by step, bit by bit, clearly tell u wat's going on. but tis 1, it's for exam 310-080, but i'm taking 310-081. it seems oni tat my exam is more updated. so i still use it to build my foundation. den now, i find tat it's got lotsa things tat i nvr saw in the exam tat i FLUNKED in b4. i start to wonder if i shld really read everything.
cos my plan was to read the bk, return to NLB, den study the SG on the web (tat say "purpose of this document is to help in preparation for exam CX-310-081 but we shldn't depend on it solely.") as it's online, available for reading any time. but now, i doubt my planning. the bk covers.. maybe much more. and it's not accurate. cos it';s published in 2003. got a 2nd edition, but NLB dun have it yet. den the SG for my exam, in mcgraw-hill show it come out liao. 60USD. in amazon show not arrived. NLB dun have yet.
i scared later i learnt too much useless things. cos this SG i having now is quite confusing, cos java got thigns wif similar names, den i have troubles remembering whcih belong to which "dept". now i wonder if i shld, read the web first, den read the bk. cos the web will lemme know wat's expected in the exam. have some idea of the topic. den i read the bk again, to build my foundation. tose whcih r extra, i skip. is it a better idea? sighzzz.. this yr is really.. a test for mi...
==================
Les, yes telling lies to certain ppl def'ly true. but when u r toking to a pal, close frn, it's always better to b frank right? if not, who are u being truthful to?
sighzz.. for my meals, i think i will try to curb it. my appetite getting bigger these days. something maybe wrong. malnutritioned causing it?
==================
writing of this line dun mean recalling anything of the past, but a mere thot of it. W often seeks hsi frns opinions on thigns, as he's confused n cant b sure of whcih path to take. so, gradually, i started to guide along, mentioning the reason behidn it. haha, it actually backfired. i was said to b demanding, over powering, controlling, n autocratic. oh well.........
n these days, i been hermit. i din read papers. jus stay home all day to do asgt n projs. keeping in touch wif my pals, n they making the time a memorable 1, i start to wonder of the past. i'm so introverted, closetted, unfriendly, antisocial, and quiet. wat made them speak to mi, and change the way i live my life? haha, foudn out from them, it's all fate...
den abt the citrep subsidy. by rite, when the date is over, i can't claim anymore. so i called up and was given a str8 no. gosh, my subsidy gone as well?? 100 $ gone case?? i was disappointed. den i tried a subtle manner, asking if anythign can b done. 3 days later, or 1 wk?, they re-opened it n wnana mi send the supporting docs to them ASAP. i did it promptly. now they r processing it. phew... hope this means a good turn of life for mi... it means if i try again, there will b a hope. i shldn't give up so easily. ahhaha... bullshit?
den hor, my PACNET 4 mths NEVER SEND MI MY BILL!!!! 4 long mths!!!! wat's happening??? den they keep deducting from my giro. din send any bills to mi?!?! wat the hell?! today i cancelled the giro. I WANT MY BILL.
cos my plan was to read the bk, return to NLB, den study the SG on the web (tat say "purpose of this document is to help in preparation for exam CX-310-081 but we shldn't depend on it solely.") as it's online, available for reading any time. but now, i doubt my planning. the bk covers.. maybe much more. and it's not accurate. cos it';s published in 2003. got a 2nd edition, but NLB dun have it yet. den the SG for my exam, in mcgraw-hill show it come out liao. 60USD. in amazon show not arrived. NLB dun have yet.
i scared later i learnt too much useless things. cos this SG i having now is quite confusing, cos java got thigns wif similar names, den i have troubles remembering whcih belong to which "dept". now i wonder if i shld, read the web first, den read the bk. cos the web will lemme know wat's expected in the exam. have some idea of the topic. den i read the bk again, to build my foundation. tose whcih r extra, i skip. is it a better idea? sighzzz.. this yr is really.. a test for mi...
==================
Les, yes telling lies to certain ppl def'ly true. but when u r toking to a pal, close frn, it's always better to b frank right? if not, who are u being truthful to?
sighzz.. for my meals, i think i will try to curb it. my appetite getting bigger these days. something maybe wrong. malnutritioned causing it?
==================
writing of this line dun mean recalling anything of the past, but a mere thot of it. W often seeks hsi frns opinions on thigns, as he's confused n cant b sure of whcih path to take. so, gradually, i started to guide along, mentioning the reason behidn it. haha, it actually backfired. i was said to b demanding, over powering, controlling, n autocratic. oh well.........
n these days, i been hermit. i din read papers. jus stay home all day to do asgt n projs. keeping in touch wif my pals, n they making the time a memorable 1, i start to wonder of the past. i'm so introverted, closetted, unfriendly, antisocial, and quiet. wat made them speak to mi, and change the way i live my life? haha, foudn out from them, it's all fate...
den abt the citrep subsidy. by rite, when the date is over, i can't claim anymore. so i called up and was given a str8 no. gosh, my subsidy gone as well?? 100 $ gone case?? i was disappointed. den i tried a subtle manner, asking if anythign can b done. 3 days later, or 1 wk?, they re-opened it n wnana mi send the supporting docs to them ASAP. i did it promptly. now they r processing it. phew... hope this means a good turn of life for mi... it means if i try again, there will b a hope. i shldn't give up so easily. ahhaha... bullshit?
den hor, my PACNET 4 mths NEVER SEND MI MY BILL!!!! 4 long mths!!!! wat's happening??? den they keep deducting from my giro. din send any bills to mi?!?! wat the hell?! today i cancelled the giro. I WANT MY BILL.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
damn, saw on tv charmed has been switched to 10pm. i had wanna watch it 3 days back, 830pm, den saw it's not showing. i thot, wah season end so abrupt nfast?? den now, realise it's changed to 10pm. is it really losing so much popularity?
jus as i doing the last min prep for my asgt, i re-watching male superstar. weilian still sing well. junyang sang wif a proper tone. weijian is like telling a story, but the layering?? (hehe) n tone variation (hehe) is not there for the emotions. like telling us a story, as 3rd party, n he's not involved in it.
there was a news article abt a superstar finalist, who puts on 1 face for reports/fans. n another face for contestants. i wonder if it's WJ. cos the host jus mentioend, "if the fans feel tat WJ is really so cute in person, pls vote for him..." she is good wif words, and able to put some1 down without feeling guilty. i admire her for it. guo liang oso has stage presence... haha..
doing my php asgt. kauzz.. i wonder whcih 1 shld i praise. windows' filename is case-insensitive. unix is sensitive. 1 php file i done on windows no prob. bring to unix, cant work. DAMN.
lately, i realise tat, a pop song can test a person's vocal range. haha, jus for fun. try at ur own fun level. u know, the "dao dai" by jolin tsai OR jay chou? the chorus part. "zhong yu kan kai... ku zhe qiu wo liu xia lai". i dunno this stretch til wat note, or which octave. but the fun part is, if u sing normal tone, it's easy. BUT, u see, the first note is ok. the ending note of the "lai" is higher. den if u rmb this note, n start again at "ZYKK" at tat note, it raises the key n u have to try the verse at this higher note. as u sing... 2 or 3 times more, u sure start to go falsetto. ahah.. the usual way (the formal way?) is "ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah". it sounds boring huh? so, try this!!!
== off for a "stress-break"... c ya..
umm... does it sound funny/odd/watver, if i keep on adding my thots on this same post?? er, anyway, back from the outing. haha, pretty fun. b4 i planned the outing, i actually wondered... or even regretted it, when i proposed it. cos i havent made sure my asgt is ok n wanna go out. but sicne the outing is confirmed liao, i might as well relax. ehhe, true enuff, i did enjoy my time. umm, i guess for 1 time, i din tell teh truth when prompted a qn over lunch. cos i... dun wan any promises made yet. but wif close frns, i prefer to b frank. it really made teh day a fun 1...
jus as i doing the last min prep for my asgt, i re-watching male superstar. weilian still sing well. junyang sang wif a proper tone. weijian is like telling a story, but the layering?? (hehe) n tone variation (hehe) is not there for the emotions. like telling us a story, as 3rd party, n he's not involved in it.
there was a news article abt a superstar finalist, who puts on 1 face for reports/fans. n another face for contestants. i wonder if it's WJ. cos the host jus mentioend, "if the fans feel tat WJ is really so cute in person, pls vote for him..." she is good wif words, and able to put some1 down without feeling guilty. i admire her for it. guo liang oso has stage presence... haha..
doing my php asgt. kauzz.. i wonder whcih 1 shld i praise. windows' filename is case-insensitive. unix is sensitive. 1 php file i done on windows no prob. bring to unix, cant work. DAMN.
lately, i realise tat, a pop song can test a person's vocal range. haha, jus for fun. try at ur own fun level. u know, the "dao dai" by jolin tsai OR jay chou? the chorus part. "zhong yu kan kai... ku zhe qiu wo liu xia lai". i dunno this stretch til wat note, or which octave. but the fun part is, if u sing normal tone, it's easy. BUT, u see, the first note is ok. the ending note of the "lai" is higher. den if u rmb this note, n start again at "ZYKK" at tat note, it raises the key n u have to try the verse at this higher note. as u sing... 2 or 3 times more, u sure start to go falsetto. ahah.. the usual way (the formal way?) is "ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah". it sounds boring huh? so, try this!!!
== off for a "stress-break"... c ya..
umm... does it sound funny/odd/watver, if i keep on adding my thots on this same post?? er, anyway, back from the outing. haha, pretty fun. b4 i planned the outing, i actually wondered... or even regretted it, when i proposed it. cos i havent made sure my asgt is ok n wanna go out. but sicne the outing is confirmed liao, i might as well relax. ehhe, true enuff, i did enjoy my time. umm, i guess for 1 time, i din tell teh truth when prompted a qn over lunch. cos i... dun wan any promises made yet. but wif close frns, i prefer to b frank. it really made teh day a fun 1...
Thursday, September 29, 2005
wahliao, i thot ch 8 show storyline is good. but.. the ending of 1 theme was BAD. wah kauzz.. even my sis, yes it's my sis again, she guessed that, oni someone close to the victim can make the victim drink poison. ok. den near the ending, the murderer was holding a guy hostage in a room. i was thinking, if she really wan, she can kill him in an instant. but, then it's a show.
true enuff, later police came intot he room (it's not locked!!!!) and wanna shoot the murderer. the murderer din care and still venting her angst on the guy. wat?? wat r they trying? door not locked, n wif the gun pointing at her, the murderer jus stood up, din put up any defense... gosh...
ch u 10pm show. now i know why the title is "10 k pounds of fate". wel, the guy has 2 gers fallingf or him. 1 is buddy, 1 is enemy turn gf. buddy did lotsa things for him. but he oso feel something for the gf. it's a load on shoulder...
wel,l in reln, if it takes 2 much effort to msanage, really a lot of effort, and the return is minimal, u have to judge if it's worth maintaining. u cna say it's worth it. but oni u can determine the future. whether it's worth the effort. u'll learn a lesson if it dun work. or u taste the sweetness of e fruit if thigns work well.
if u keep telling a person a truth tat u know, but he jus keep thinking u're maligning him, den jus let time tell the truth. there's nothing u can do. u cant expect the person to blif wat u say, n digest it immediately. he can keep it in his mind and digest it later. no hurry. if he doesn', no pt forcing the digestion.
at lunch, my colleagues tok about relations. these days, my colleagues tease tat a male colleague is my hubby. i'm ok, and defenseless. but i really dunno how am i gonna keep my asexual status for long. if 1 day, i reveal, sure big hu-ha, n i'll b lying abt myself... dunno how to gain their trust. ahhaha.. nvm.
abt relns, they're syaing, if u like someone, u shld accept his past. tat's for mi. my view. i mena, if he ONS b4 knowing u, tat's his life before meeting n committing to u. but he shld not do tat after committment. and then, if it's his person to b a social butterfly, u definitely know it B4 u commit urself. if u find tat he's 2 "flirtatious", u shld not b wif him in the first place, as u cant accept his socialising patterns at all. but if u can takw it, u shld b confident of urself tat no matter wat he does outside, he's still urs.
it's all a matter of trust. it's in every1, every reln. in frns, work, family. esp in reln. u have to trust him if u wanna b wif him. n there's no such thing as a perfect guy for u. u like guy A. u enjoy ur time wif him. but once in a while, he did something whcih u dun really like. it's jus ur own view tat make u dun like tat thing he did. will u tell him tat? or u keep it to urself?
if he's ur frn, how will u deal wif it?
i find tat, for a reln to work, both parties have to work it out, discuss things. give in to each other. this is told by a married colleague of mine.
=======================
reply to commnt:
actually, if it's impt for ur future, will u feel it's somethign great to achieve? if being a hermit for years jus to achieve tat great thing, it's not worth it. but if i'm oni using a few mths, to achieve something which i've been yearning for, but did not feel teh pressure, urge or resolution to get it, wat's a lil sacrifice?
i can't say i'm very happy wif my life. in fact, i'm not. i yearn to go out, make frns, widen my social circle, enjoy life, EAT TILL I'M FULL, watch movie, have a tour. but i can't. if still need to strive for my future. oni if my future has a guarantee can i b satified n slwo down. i can oni say, this is a hurdle i MUZ overcome. including my java n monash...............
=======================
gosh, now is friday liao. din realise i din post ytday's post.
at a certain stage of life, in order to save urself from paiseh'ness, ppl wil ltend to lie. hide their real intention of doing things, n tell u some make-believe reason, so tat u'll think otherwise.. well, i think this is the process of life. some ppl live with lies all their life, some dun hide anything at all, some hold back certain secrets...
n being in thsi helpdesk office, for this long, devoted, n having laughter n fun, n leading normal living life, i begin to learn how to build rapport wif colleagues. oh, ya jus rmb the thign tat i had wanna blog for today. after lunch, colleagues went to Times. cos we killing tiem, i folowed. i was browsing some books. palmistry. den saw some buddhism books. i suddenly thot of a frn, who i can bring to... take a look?, n oso some karma bks written by psychic. teach u how to see wat u missing n plan for ur future.
well, my thot is: i can oni browse. i cant affford them. or perhaps the time to read them. i later walked to the window of the shop. i was thinking, i'm really controlling very hard for my expenditure. am i happy wif this way of living? i make myself eat the cheapest meal everyday, eat 2 pcs of fruits tat cost 60c. i dun wna eat too much cos i wanna save more money... err.. nvm. i'm not really satisfied wif this way fo living, but i can oni say, i'm doing it for my future. den i lefe the shop, since i cant afford it, i dun wan to tempt myself.
true enuff, later police came intot he room (it's not locked!!!!) and wanna shoot the murderer. the murderer din care and still venting her angst on the guy. wat?? wat r they trying? door not locked, n wif the gun pointing at her, the murderer jus stood up, din put up any defense... gosh...
ch u 10pm show. now i know why the title is "10 k pounds of fate". wel, the guy has 2 gers fallingf or him. 1 is buddy, 1 is enemy turn gf. buddy did lotsa things for him. but he oso feel something for the gf. it's a load on shoulder...
wel,l in reln, if it takes 2 much effort to msanage, really a lot of effort, and the return is minimal, u have to judge if it's worth maintaining. u cna say it's worth it. but oni u can determine the future. whether it's worth the effort. u'll learn a lesson if it dun work. or u taste the sweetness of e fruit if thigns work well.
if u keep telling a person a truth tat u know, but he jus keep thinking u're maligning him, den jus let time tell the truth. there's nothing u can do. u cant expect the person to blif wat u say, n digest it immediately. he can keep it in his mind and digest it later. no hurry. if he doesn', no pt forcing the digestion.
at lunch, my colleagues tok about relations. these days, my colleagues tease tat a male colleague is my hubby. i'm ok, and defenseless. but i really dunno how am i gonna keep my asexual status for long. if 1 day, i reveal, sure big hu-ha, n i'll b lying abt myself... dunno how to gain their trust. ahhaha.. nvm.
abt relns, they're syaing, if u like someone, u shld accept his past. tat's for mi. my view. i mena, if he ONS b4 knowing u, tat's his life before meeting n committing to u. but he shld not do tat after committment. and then, if it's his person to b a social butterfly, u definitely know it B4 u commit urself. if u find tat he's 2 "flirtatious", u shld not b wif him in the first place, as u cant accept his socialising patterns at all. but if u can takw it, u shld b confident of urself tat no matter wat he does outside, he's still urs.
it's all a matter of trust. it's in every1, every reln. in frns, work, family. esp in reln. u have to trust him if u wanna b wif him. n there's no such thing as a perfect guy for u. u like guy A. u enjoy ur time wif him. but once in a while, he did something whcih u dun really like. it's jus ur own view tat make u dun like tat thing he did. will u tell him tat? or u keep it to urself?
if he's ur frn, how will u deal wif it?
i find tat, for a reln to work, both parties have to work it out, discuss things. give in to each other. this is told by a married colleague of mine.
=======================
reply to commnt:
actually, if it's impt for ur future, will u feel it's somethign great to achieve? if being a hermit for years jus to achieve tat great thing, it's not worth it. but if i'm oni using a few mths, to achieve something which i've been yearning for, but did not feel teh pressure, urge or resolution to get it, wat's a lil sacrifice?
i can't say i'm very happy wif my life. in fact, i'm not. i yearn to go out, make frns, widen my social circle, enjoy life, EAT TILL I'M FULL, watch movie, have a tour. but i can't. if still need to strive for my future. oni if my future has a guarantee can i b satified n slwo down. i can oni say, this is a hurdle i MUZ overcome. including my java n monash...............
=======================
gosh, now is friday liao. din realise i din post ytday's post.
at a certain stage of life, in order to save urself from paiseh'ness, ppl wil ltend to lie. hide their real intention of doing things, n tell u some make-believe reason, so tat u'll think otherwise.. well, i think this is the process of life. some ppl live with lies all their life, some dun hide anything at all, some hold back certain secrets...
n being in thsi helpdesk office, for this long, devoted, n having laughter n fun, n leading normal living life, i begin to learn how to build rapport wif colleagues. oh, ya jus rmb the thign tat i had wanna blog for today. after lunch, colleagues went to Times. cos we killing tiem, i folowed. i was browsing some books. palmistry. den saw some buddhism books. i suddenly thot of a frn, who i can bring to... take a look?, n oso some karma bks written by psychic. teach u how to see wat u missing n plan for ur future.
well, my thot is: i can oni browse. i cant affford them. or perhaps the time to read them. i later walked to the window of the shop. i was thinking, i'm really controlling very hard for my expenditure. am i happy wif this way of living? i make myself eat the cheapest meal everyday, eat 2 pcs of fruits tat cost 60c. i dun wna eat too much cos i wanna save more money... err.. nvm. i'm not really satisfied wif this way fo living, but i can oni say, i'm doing it for my future. den i lefe the shop, since i cant afford it, i dun wan to tempt myself.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
tuesday.
sighzzz... TV shows always have such beautiful n touching love story... watching Ch U 10pm show now... the guy n the ger finally acknowledged each other.. as long lost lovers... pretty touching...
n jus now, got a show on job seeking. pretty impressed by hwo the tr dealt wif the "bring CD" issue.. :)
==============
wednesday.
i am pretty impressed tat ch 8 came up wif a supernatural... or rather scientific storyline. not bad. the ideas r quite fresh. siilar to XFILES. but i somehow not inclined to keep watching it.
den ch u, 10pm show, realyl interesting.. how scheming ppl can b, to reach their goals... hahah. some ppl r despicable, but i dun screw them up, i jus watch n learn from it.
jus took my bath. oh well, i realise i got a hurdle in bathroom. u know, these day the water is cold, n i got no water heater. i dun like cold. so, i will like, spray the water on my feet, test if too cold. if can, i'll start bathing... but whil;e i testing, i will wonder hwo long the cold water will splash onto mi.. ahha, but after i wash off the foam, i will feel tat it's jus another few mins cos i'll b washing my hair... hair dun scared cold hahah... weirdo?
sighzzz... TV shows always have such beautiful n touching love story... watching Ch U 10pm show now... the guy n the ger finally acknowledged each other.. as long lost lovers... pretty touching...
n jus now, got a show on job seeking. pretty impressed by hwo the tr dealt wif the "bring CD" issue.. :)
==============
wednesday.
i am pretty impressed tat ch 8 came up wif a supernatural... or rather scientific storyline. not bad. the ideas r quite fresh. siilar to XFILES. but i somehow not inclined to keep watching it.
den ch u, 10pm show, realyl interesting.. how scheming ppl can b, to reach their goals... hahah. some ppl r despicable, but i dun screw them up, i jus watch n learn from it.
jus took my bath. oh well, i realise i got a hurdle in bathroom. u know, these day the water is cold, n i got no water heater. i dun like cold. so, i will like, spray the water on my feet, test if too cold. if can, i'll start bathing... but whil;e i testing, i will wonder hwo long the cold water will splash onto mi.. ahha, but after i wash off the foam, i will feel tat it's jus another few mins cos i'll b washing my hair... hair dun scared cold hahah... weirdo?
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