in the past few days, wks, or even mths, my life is all about work, n doing things to make sure i dun fall behind schedule... been half a yr.

den these days, maybe i did things really fast n have some self demand to fulfill, i finished off some duties quite fast.. n nw, not much things left for mi to rush... it feel so odd.. suddenly, a "i muz do tis/tat to catch up" line is not tat pushing anymore..

why do humans always learn/improve only after a painful lesson?

i used to have only a no-human feeling attitude... i din care abt PR.. everything is simply based on "it's ur job, ur duty". den after a painful lesson, i learn tat i dun have to be so serious.. n can learn to relax myself n.. n emotional at times... jus nw, renfred got a weeping scene... i saw it... i ask him not to weep (my heart felt words) n i ended up almost weeping as well...

n... i watched a touching movie some time back on ch U. it's a cartoon. 千寻与千雪, or rather anime.. pretty long story... i'll tok abt it next time..

am i a lil perverted? or it shld be considered NATURAL??

cos... hahaha... on mondays, my company has a box-ercising instructor coming in to guide ppl on this exercise. i missed it for 2 wks liao. den.. last wk, i managed to join. the instructor is those gym guys.. or man.. hahah.. good muscles nice arms tight chest, neat n tidy hair, clean face, tanned skin ... lol.. cos he wearing tank top, he shaved his armpits.. whenver he raise his arms to do stretching, haha.. it loks nice siazz hwahaah... n whenever we work out, i always look at him.. everything.. arms legs, postures.. some times of cos his face n muscles n chest..

den tis week, even worse... ok.. tis wk he maybe forgot to shave his moustache.. got some ... uknow.. i forgot the term ahha... but tis wk.. still shiok.. n he wearing white tank top some more!!! muscles still so nice n the best thing is.. during our cool down, he has to sit down n face us.. he will spread his legs wide open lol.. yumzzz. n u knw wat? after tis session finished, i went up to him to tok abt boxercise.. n he demo some steps for mi.. n i was peeping at his chest from time to time.. n whahaahah... i finally saw his shirt pressing onto his left nipple!!! located at a far lower corner wahhaha...

tis is why i say i sound perverted.. anyway, such close encounter wif him.. jus ok lah.. found tat his head's hair (not other places, mind u) is bitta thick.. too thick for him.. wish to tell him tat, he will look better wif thinner hair.. wif his muscles, short n thin hair, he'll look decent, innocent, n wif a monstrous FIG...

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den in the evening, boarded a bus home from office.. n wah, i din realise.. got a guy sittign opposite mi.. n he look so much like those broad chest jap guys siazz!! his hair, looks, facial hair.. n his shirt has the top 2 butts undone... look HOT siazz.. n he was sittign wif his legs WIDE open.. tight shirt/pants.. cool..

i've decided... to keep my private pix from unwanted eyes, i'll share them wif ppl on my msn contacts,, if u msn to ask mi for the pic...

feel like updating my blog.. but at a loss of wat to say.. lol.. am i getting too serious in forgetting wat happens to mi? i mean the bad stuff... so seriosu tat, i oso.. forget... umm, no, i dun think i forget good stuff.. jus tat, too busy wif my life, tat i din have enuff time to blog the happy stuff... i've lost the mood n the feel to blog abt these... din even have time to read frns' blogs..

umm, 1 thing in my mind... haha.. few things in my mind in fact, but jus blog the one tat is most memorable in my mind, n i dun wanna forget wat happened.. n i finally understand why some ppl cant keep secrets, or tend to make some affairs publicised haha..

jus 1 wk b4 20th jan, i saw my msn contact stating he's selling dxo tix. den i realise tat he's out to earn a fast buck. but he din see whether he's got the resources anot, n whether the tix can make sales anot, n whether he got enuf time to sell anot. he's still nsf boy.. still decent n fresh in thinking.. innocent too. to mi, he is not those who know how to lie.. or those who dun lie.. very innocent in thinking.. so i decided to help him..

i offered to take the tix.. so he demanded to knw how i gonna sell them.. i guess he knw i gonna jus buy from him so he dun wan tat.. well, if i tell him the truth, he sure dun wan.. but i knw wat he';s trying to do, so i surely cant tell him wat i plan.. he keep pestering mi to say who i gonna sell. to stop further pestering, i warned tat, if he wan mi help him, stop asking how/who/where i gonna sell.. he stll persisted.. so i jus took back my offer to help.

i knw tat, if he so stubborn like the past mi, den i cant help him at all. or, if he knw wat trouble he got into, n how despo he is to get the tix off his shoulder, he'll ask for my help again, but stop finding out how i gonna sell...

he den, apologised, n asked mi to help.. so i ask on msn who wnana get the tix, n oso sms my entire hp contacts. got some ppl reply, but none taking up the tic, cos it's NOTHING GREAT. jus drinks, cheerleading gers (eeee), n live band... or maybe it's more for some niche clietns who i haven met.

tis nsf boy oso ask wat i wan him do in return.. i asked him wat he can do.. he say dunno...

oh well... the first thing tat comes to my mind of cos is to release my sexual urges... but well, since i wanna help, why take advantage of his situation?? wat's more, if i need help, do i wan ppl to say wat's on my mind?? so i jus told him, think nothign of it.. jus a hug will do.. den i told him, if he need money, jus discuss wif mi first..

days later, really no 1 wanna buy at all.. so.. i decided to take 30 tix from him.. n he say he'll try to find a way for the remaining 5.. but i offered to buy from him still.. later he asked mi to take 2 extra, cos his frn buying 3..umm ok, well, i decided to help him buy the 32 tix loh... haha.. quarter of my salary siazz.. but i did tell him, in future dun take the tix on impulse..

den, when we met, he still very shy.. n maybe he's not ready to meet mi, he's very apprehensive abt seeing mi.. but he got a "fag hag" wif him lol... well u know, the same type as my sonya pal.. but his fag is 2 yr older than him.

den his fag did try to fish info from mi, asking how i foudn so many buyers... i knw i still need to hide the truth.. cos they r pals.. if i say the truth, who knws if she will let the cat out anot.. unless he really manage to convince mi, i wun ever tell him.. cos i dun wan him to feel indebted to mi.. i dun wan him to feel bad. i jus wan him to learn his lesson, n dun.. do such things anymore.. n now i begin to realise the power of money.. the truth of "if money can solve a prob, it's not really 1 to start wif"..

anyway, being able to help him outta the crisis, i happy liao...

sometimes, i like to argue wif ppl... it somehow teaches mi how to stay calm n cool during heated discussions... how to think logically, without blurting any non-sensical lines... 1 day, it's the rush hr in the mrt. i am alighting, so i kept excusing myself to get near the door

den a burly indian heard mi, n moved SLIGHTLY toward the door n i followed.. he stopped there. i excused myself again, he moved a lil. i raised my voice, he said "can u hold on anot?" n stared at mi. i replied "i'm in a rush. may i?" n looked back at him for 2 secs. he maintained his glare, so i blinked n he started moving, but always looking back at mi.. i found another way out of the train n made my way to the escalator. den as i was abt to step into it, he walked just in front of mi, telling mi in my face, tat i'm not in a rush. i bochap him, treat him as non-existent. he den took the escalator step before mi.. n always kept looking at mi.. i knw he's got lotsa grumbles to speak abt mi..

but well, who will care at tat time?? my aim was alight the train n get out of mrt in shortest time possible. jus cos other ppl oso alighting from the train, dun mean they cant make way. some ppl r realyl rushing, or they dun wan to alight when other ppl r rushing in, or they prefer making their way out first, instead of waiting for ppl to lead the way.

so when the guy kept looking back, i simply looked away... he was oso looking impatiently at other ppl, but well, who will care wat he's doing?? if he tell ppl abt wat i did, they jus take him as crazy guy.. n if he's so free to follow n scold mi, i will probably warn him tat i'll report it to the cops..

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but well.. such defensive style aint taking place at work.. soemtimes, working wif an efficient high flyer, but a foreigner, is a headache.. true, she offers clear cut advice when complicated stuff need analysis. n she can identify which team to seek help from when issue arises. other than tat, it's stressful when her work style n mine dun gel.. there are conflicts from time to time.. until such a stage tat i dun realyl regard her as frn.. even during lunch, i prefer not to eat wif her..

well, i need to learn hwo to protect myself from nw on..

cool day... lol..

ytday, i kinda decided to re-pickup my gym routine.. so.. morning, i went for bfast.. den.. the kopitiam is packed. so i saw a guy sitting at a 4-seater table... he wearing earpiece.. i sat down there.. ordered my food n waited. den... haha.. i often stole glances at him... lol he got some bloodshot eyes though... :)

umm.. usually for swimming, i really enjoy swimming for all i care... no 1 fighting for the space tat i need. but tis tiem.. i wonder if i'm stuck at home for 2 long, so when i swam, i felt kinda.. lonely.. n found no joy swimming.. but still, i managed to swim for 1.5 hrs..

n to my surprise, when i finished my rinse after swim, i saw a colleague of mine.. a nice looking gentleman who i'm not interested in. haha.. i thnk he jus finish gym.. so he's oni in a pair of pants n came over to greet mi.. well, not a impressive or good body lah.. jus... no tummy..

den i went wif an old frn to buy some computer stuff.. whahaa... i admit tat giving biz to yandao guys overwhelmed mi a bit.. cos a shop selling dvd burner for 58, 1 sells for 52. the 58 shop guy told mi some info abt the diff between some formats (DVD -R/+R).. den the 52 shop (auntie) told mi there's no diff. i knw there has to b some diff.. if nt, y give it diff name?? so i told my frn.. i getting 58 tat 1.. claiming other than quality, i oso pay for the svc they offer.. whahaha..

den later, my frn wanna get some screws for her laptop. searched a few shops oso futile. den, passing by a shop tended by some poly age youngsters, we asked them, n they offered a lot of help in finding the screws. den b4 we left, i wish them HNY.. 1 boy replied "may ur biz prosper!" ahah... funny siazz!!! anyhow say the lines!! interesting boys heheh..

umm.. a nice beginnning for the new yr..

umm.. i may jus put my pix into frnster, inside of inside webshots...

n thinking of... putting my erotic pix somewhere... but... sighzz... contradictions... i dun wan my face to be linked to my body, but i wanna let ppl see... den sometimes, jus take pic of body oni cannot make it...

haha.. real funny... dunno if tat person will still b reading my blog anot..

she had a big misunderstanding abt mi.. i say she had, cos i really dun think it's an issue... i felt tat she read too much into my lines, n took it too hard. it happened months back.. den days back, i msg her, asking if seh still ok.. she say yes, n the past is oredi past. but well, our chemistry is no longer there.. or rather, she dun wish to click tat much wif mi..

den lately, she msn mi, saying she got a dog for adoption. so i ask around.. few days later, my colleague's frn wanna adopt. so i was happy for her n her dog. i msn tis person on fri (today). she say anytime can go her place to see. den later i told her we go tmr 6pm. she say need to chk. 1 hr later, i ask again, she say need to chk wif her mum, see if she at home. i take it tat she means it. mins later, i ask again, she say mum din reply.

from tat 5pm, until 8pm, i nvr got reply from her. i sms her to call mum if no reply. u knw her reply?

"give me a day den i give u ans"...

my reply "a day means by when"

she "sunday i give reply".

hahaha.. isn't tis super? ppl wan to adopt the dog, n usually it's done very quickly.. n tis is wat i get...

i thot it's clear-cut... wan the dog, keep. dun wan, give away... wah liao.. i dunno wat's on her mind... but ... who cares...

my seductive video lol

i starting to like a guy in K-one ...