i'm feeling depressed... somehow.. ;) dun feel joyous.
anyway, 1 funny thing happened today, which i felt i went slgihtly overboard.. but how else shld i react??
on the bus to work, usually i will see an avg'ly cute guy after i alight, walking wif his bespectacled frn. i will take note of him, def'ly. den today, so qiao, while i waiting for the bus, i saw a cute guy in plain T and jeans, toking to his frn. wah.. i keep looking siazz... my bus came. i boarded it. later he came up as well. ahha, he did notice i was lokoing at him ;)
little did i expect, when i alight the bus, this guy is the one who i see everyday! but tis time, matter got worse slightly. cos on the bus, he saw mi looking at him. so, when we walked into the blding n into the lift, i was all along behind him. inside the lift, i stood at his side. haha, he let out a exasperating sighz. helpless he is LOL.. and evil i am.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
well, today is reptty odd.. i missed TODAY. den the mrt, i duno how come tis tiem i am the last few to board, n my location was so jammed. i den squeezed to the middle. sigh, the people here simply don't move to make space for incoming commuters. at times, i set a bad eg for ppl who see how i behave in public. den the gd side.. i'm not sure how mcuh they learn siazz.. but at the swimming pool, ppl did follow my suit which is FANTASTIC hahaha...
my bus came, and surprisingly, as i boarded the bus, a lady wanna board oso. n we both were behaving courteously! letting each other board first. after scannign the card, we even offered each other to go into the bus first! LOL.. den i giggled n whispered "sorry.." den, i alighted at my stop, n went into my office bldg. know wat? a lady (taller than mi) was before mi, n we walked for abt 10 metres b4 we entered the blding. she was peeping into the blding window pane n saw mi behind her. the lift came. 1 ger got in, the lady went in slowly, n i went in. the lady den went directly to the back fot eh lift, while i pressed my floor. after the ger went out, the lady came forward to press her floor. OMG. i felt that, if i look back at her, i'd appear to feel soemthing abt her behaviour.. thus i jus din react...
morning was fine... i was doing my work.. den lunch was pretty fun.. lunchmates toked more.. BUT.. later, to think tat i was doing my db, n tried to preview a vid (u know), n my pc hang. damn it darn it. i din even save my DB. sianzz... so i took a break. but i stil din have the momentum to re-do it. later my colleagues are going off, n ask if i leaving. i say no. but hor, damn it. he has car. n probably i can get a ride to the mrt. anyway, after i boarded the bus for mrt, i hesitating abt going to my classes.
den my frn called mi, saying tat e class cancel liao. hahaha.. wat fun. so i decided to try it out, by takign indirect buses home. wah. the wait is LONG SIAZZZ.. wait for bus, den jc students boarded bus, den 1 TR age ger boarded bus, n used her carry bag to push mi while we seated same place. wah liao, she never see 1 siazz.. i even had to tell her off. KAUZ.
DEN, came an old lady, those 40+ woman. fat 1. she sit beside mi, wah liao, keep pushing her limbs to touch mi siazz!! GOSH! later, got 1 uncle, i immediately gave my seat to him.. phew.. siao.. overall bad experience in taking an alternate route siazz.. i wan my mrt back... sian thing hor is that, after i got back to my town, the ezlink card machines are spoilt. BOTH.
but hor, i wonder if it's because i'm used to the way buses n bus passengers behave.. on my previous job route.. i mena, the ppl r mostly working class or ppl who heading back after work. den diff transport to diff place at diff time have diff ppl taking it.. or rather, ppl of diff minset, attitude n class... hahaha.. am i thinking too much??
but.. i'm thinking abt 2 things. 1 is a guy, who i had accompanied during his arcade sessions. we even helped a frn to move house. n i was really protective towards him hahah... den antoher guy is the mgmt level 1.
perhaps i sensitive. somehow, i feel he's avoiding mi... dunno how true is tat.. it's mainly due to office hrs issues... cos he ask mi normally where i lunch. i told him my places, n ask himf or his. he din reply. n we are working veli near. n he never initiates meeting up. i did ask him out, but he has a gym session later. well, wat makes it so hard to fix a meeting? a lunch date? he cant control himself during office hr if he meet mi? or he wanna avoid suspicions?
my bus came, and surprisingly, as i boarded the bus, a lady wanna board oso. n we both were behaving courteously! letting each other board first. after scannign the card, we even offered each other to go into the bus first! LOL.. den i giggled n whispered "sorry.." den, i alighted at my stop, n went into my office bldg. know wat? a lady (taller than mi) was before mi, n we walked for abt 10 metres b4 we entered the blding. she was peeping into the blding window pane n saw mi behind her. the lift came. 1 ger got in, the lady went in slowly, n i went in. the lady den went directly to the back fot eh lift, while i pressed my floor. after the ger went out, the lady came forward to press her floor. OMG. i felt that, if i look back at her, i'd appear to feel soemthing abt her behaviour.. thus i jus din react...
morning was fine... i was doing my work.. den lunch was pretty fun.. lunchmates toked more.. BUT.. later, to think tat i was doing my db, n tried to preview a vid (u know), n my pc hang. damn it darn it. i din even save my DB. sianzz... so i took a break. but i stil din have the momentum to re-do it. later my colleagues are going off, n ask if i leaving. i say no. but hor, damn it. he has car. n probably i can get a ride to the mrt. anyway, after i boarded the bus for mrt, i hesitating abt going to my classes.
den my frn called mi, saying tat e class cancel liao. hahaha.. wat fun. so i decided to try it out, by takign indirect buses home. wah. the wait is LONG SIAZZZ.. wait for bus, den jc students boarded bus, den 1 TR age ger boarded bus, n used her carry bag to push mi while we seated same place. wah liao, she never see 1 siazz.. i even had to tell her off. KAUZ.
DEN, came an old lady, those 40+ woman. fat 1. she sit beside mi, wah liao, keep pushing her limbs to touch mi siazz!! GOSH! later, got 1 uncle, i immediately gave my seat to him.. phew.. siao.. overall bad experience in taking an alternate route siazz.. i wan my mrt back... sian thing hor is that, after i got back to my town, the ezlink card machines are spoilt. BOTH.
but hor, i wonder if it's because i'm used to the way buses n bus passengers behave.. on my previous job route.. i mena, the ppl r mostly working class or ppl who heading back after work. den diff transport to diff place at diff time have diff ppl taking it.. or rather, ppl of diff minset, attitude n class... hahaha.. am i thinking too much??
but.. i'm thinking abt 2 things. 1 is a guy, who i had accompanied during his arcade sessions. we even helped a frn to move house. n i was really protective towards him hahah... den antoher guy is the mgmt level 1.
perhaps i sensitive. somehow, i feel he's avoiding mi... dunno how true is tat.. it's mainly due to office hrs issues... cos he ask mi normally where i lunch. i told him my places, n ask himf or his. he din reply. n we are working veli near. n he never initiates meeting up. i did ask him out, but he has a gym session later. well, wat makes it so hard to fix a meeting? a lunch date? he cant control himself during office hr if he meet mi? or he wanna avoid suspicions?
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
a pretty sad day...
jus as i consoled my oz pal, tat being outta a reln is not too bad, but dun hurt urself further by being the nice guy, consoling him n teasing him to make him feel better, when u r having internal bleeding. it simply hurts 2 much. it hurts u, n makes him feel alright, but he may not know u r really hurt.
howver, jus tis morning, i thot of my relation with the mgmt guy. ever since the day i met him the first time, he told mi he is dating guy B. den from then till now, i been sending him morning greets. n when i asked him how he was wif guy B, we chatted over the ph, n i came out to him. he den understood mi m,ore. i know he's going to KL 2 wks later wif guy B. i know they can click, n progressing... alright. so from the bottom of my heart, i gave him (n guy B) my best wishes. n if they are realyl together, i hope they will stay truly happy together. tat's my thking then, and now too.
so, hwo does "move on" apply here? keep a lookout for bf? bf never comes tat way. it's fate. for some, it can come when u feel it. for mi, it's seldom easy, as i dun bother joining any gay outings. ie those outings organised by orgs. these days, reln have become more of a bonus to my life. not a necessity. i can look forward to havign it, but dun have to search or ask or beg for it. n by wishing them together, i dun feel hurt. perhaps oni a lil (which i dun really know) tat is not 2 obvious yet. i oni SEE 1 guy, who is a nice person, living life well with someone he enjoys time with.
jus as i consoled my oz pal, tat being outta a reln is not too bad, but dun hurt urself further by being the nice guy, consoling him n teasing him to make him feel better, when u r having internal bleeding. it simply hurts 2 much. it hurts u, n makes him feel alright, but he may not know u r really hurt.
howver, jus tis morning, i thot of my relation with the mgmt guy. ever since the day i met him the first time, he told mi he is dating guy B. den from then till now, i been sending him morning greets. n when i asked him how he was wif guy B, we chatted over the ph, n i came out to him. he den understood mi m,ore. i know he's going to KL 2 wks later wif guy B. i know they can click, n progressing... alright. so from the bottom of my heart, i gave him (n guy B) my best wishes. n if they are realyl together, i hope they will stay truly happy together. tat's my thking then, and now too.
so, hwo does "move on" apply here? keep a lookout for bf? bf never comes tat way. it's fate. for some, it can come when u feel it. for mi, it's seldom easy, as i dun bother joining any gay outings. ie those outings organised by orgs. these days, reln have become more of a bonus to my life. not a necessity. i can look forward to havign it, but dun have to search or ask or beg for it. n by wishing them together, i dun feel hurt. perhaps oni a lil (which i dun really know) tat is not 2 obvious yet. i oni SEE 1 guy, who is a nice person, living life well with someone he enjoys time with.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
wah liao.. are singaporeans really so follower??? at my mrt here, there usually no 1 reading paper before entering mrt gantry. den jus a few days after i started to read my papers there, liao!! got ppl standing around that area?!?!
the mrt today pertty ok.. interestig time was when there was a kinda cute guy waiting at my busstop. hahaha.. he was peeping at mi. den, when my bus came, i boarded first, den he came up too. but.. i went to upper decker lah. my first to see this guy siazz ;) maybe long time nvr see cute guy waiting bus wif mi hahah..
at work, hope i'm not getting sensitive, but it's jus a 1-time issue. ok, today is my 1 wk anni. den i usually lunch wif 3 guys. today, these 3 guy went for 1 hr tea break. when come back, the mgt ppl wanna go lunch. so i thot of going wif the 3 guys for lunch. then, 1 told mi, tat they took lunch liao. den i jokingly asked y they go din nvr ask mi.. he say, they ate more things during tea break mah.. hehe, i learnt not to take things too personally. but i did at least ask why they left mi out :) n hor, 'cos of this, i went to a canteen nearby, n wow... a good plate of chicken rice for $2!!! n 60c for either barley drink or tea.. cooll... i found another way to save money..
but hor, facing the monitor for 7-8 hr is damn straining for the eyes siazz.. n although it's tiring, i feel great knowing tat this proj will b the fruit of my labour.. i did my calc. this proj jus came in. n my prob is 3 mths. if the proj manage to take off properly, my capz is likely to b proven. n may have chance at higher pay LOL.. HR here.. is needed oso lah.. but this place, programmers.. seldom chat loud.. usually.. or soemtimes crowd around pc to gossip. no much chance to tok wif them, unless i purposely... try..
now, wat i worry is, they r givign mi incremental workload. this is my first prog job. so, they guide mi along carefully, telling mi the steps to start on proj. my worry is, if they nvr tell mi, i'd think my current progress (finishing each task they give mi in a day or 2) is good, or nice, but to them, it's slow...
ok.. after KO, i went to busstop. hahah.. a blurry blurry guy is waiting for the bus. it's the same guy who i saw on monday! den on teh train, i felt so bad of mi.. it crowded. as we rush into train, a avg size guy (but shorter than mi) was before mi. it's crowded. n packed. LOL.. den my position was almost like, i m able to hug him siazz.. but... i still put my arms str8, to block attacks on my pte, n 1 arm acroos my chest. but.. hor.. thinking n fantasizing, i kena erecting.. n i dun deny, i may have used it to molest him LOL..
now i gt my new job pay (they so on time siazz), n waiting for my old job pay, n m1 to credit mi back. last thing, is waiting for oz bks to b sold, den i can get back my money
the mrt today pertty ok.. interestig time was when there was a kinda cute guy waiting at my busstop. hahaha.. he was peeping at mi. den, when my bus came, i boarded first, den he came up too. but.. i went to upper decker lah. my first to see this guy siazz ;) maybe long time nvr see cute guy waiting bus wif mi hahah..
at work, hope i'm not getting sensitive, but it's jus a 1-time issue. ok, today is my 1 wk anni. den i usually lunch wif 3 guys. today, these 3 guy went for 1 hr tea break. when come back, the mgt ppl wanna go lunch. so i thot of going wif the 3 guys for lunch. then, 1 told mi, tat they took lunch liao. den i jokingly asked y they go din nvr ask mi.. he say, they ate more things during tea break mah.. hehe, i learnt not to take things too personally. but i did at least ask why they left mi out :) n hor, 'cos of this, i went to a canteen nearby, n wow... a good plate of chicken rice for $2!!! n 60c for either barley drink or tea.. cooll... i found another way to save money..
but hor, facing the monitor for 7-8 hr is damn straining for the eyes siazz.. n although it's tiring, i feel great knowing tat this proj will b the fruit of my labour.. i did my calc. this proj jus came in. n my prob is 3 mths. if the proj manage to take off properly, my capz is likely to b proven. n may have chance at higher pay LOL.. HR here.. is needed oso lah.. but this place, programmers.. seldom chat loud.. usually.. or soemtimes crowd around pc to gossip. no much chance to tok wif them, unless i purposely... try..
now, wat i worry is, they r givign mi incremental workload. this is my first prog job. so, they guide mi along carefully, telling mi the steps to start on proj. my worry is, if they nvr tell mi, i'd think my current progress (finishing each task they give mi in a day or 2) is good, or nice, but to them, it's slow...
ok.. after KO, i went to busstop. hahah.. a blurry blurry guy is waiting for the bus. it's the same guy who i saw on monday! den on teh train, i felt so bad of mi.. it crowded. as we rush into train, a avg size guy (but shorter than mi) was before mi. it's crowded. n packed. LOL.. den my position was almost like, i m able to hug him siazz.. but... i still put my arms str8, to block attacks on my pte, n 1 arm acroos my chest. but.. hor.. thinking n fantasizing, i kena erecting.. n i dun deny, i may have used it to molest him LOL..
now i gt my new job pay (they so on time siazz), n waiting for my old job pay, n m1 to credit mi back. last thing, is waiting for oz bks to b sold, den i can get back my money
Monday, March 27, 2006
siao.. last night, i watch guess show. slept at 130am, den feel dodgy when wake up for work at 730. sighzz.. i really dislike/hate taking the mrt.. like wat tat gal say, the ppl r jus rushing to board the train. n some ppl, simply bochap. they got space, purpsoely dun wan shift in. haha, esp today, a ger wanna exit, but she came out late, so was SQUEEZING her way thru, n i got out of train to let her exit, n den went in again.
ahhah.. shld i, let go of myself, n b a commoner, n go wif the crowd?? i was actually.. even thnking of... taking buses on way home, to avoid the mrt crowd. at work today, ehhe, i was kinda praised, although at my own std, it's jus wat i am capable of, not something unexpected. ie, i saw a db redundancy n suggested somethign. my snr praised mi for it. den hor, now i finally get a taste of accessing webmail liao.. at work, i was checking my mails.. at my office pc.. so tat when i get home, i dun need to check mails again.. convenience... :)
ahhah.. shld i, let go of myself, n b a commoner, n go wif the crowd?? i was actually.. even thnking of... taking buses on way home, to avoid the mrt crowd. at work today, ehhe, i was kinda praised, although at my own std, it's jus wat i am capable of, not something unexpected. ie, i saw a db redundancy n suggested somethign. my snr praised mi for it. den hor, now i finally get a taste of accessing webmail liao.. at work, i was checking my mails.. at my office pc.. so tat when i get home, i dun need to check mails again.. convenience... :)
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
i've just blogged at my work blog :P
now, stil wondering hwo i shld link both them up... shld i copy them to this blog, or shld i jus put a link here? due to same old reasons, i dun wan my coleagues to know my life yet..
ok.. jus checked taht, my last blog was on thur night. so, on fri night, at work, i downloaded n install msn 7. quite nice. first time at work can use msn.. at least will save some sms loh. this ist eh day, which i find myself really enjoying my work. it's tiring, to stare into pc, n input data. i felt i'm really contributing my knowledge. really enjoy programming. n it's a new proj, so dun have any docs to read up on. n first day, i start to contribute liao.
now, i'm oni wondering how to make myself pass the probation... wat's funny is tat, this day, my mum din cook. sms the mgmt guy, he not free. so met my gal pal for dine. n, i'm excited tat, i took a bus from my work plc to my destinations! i wanna go town, so did research. n i found my way!!! COOL! i seem to know singapore a bit more :P
den, had dinner buffet wif her, n she cooked everythign for mi.. sweet hor? i ther eoni to gobble food =D den went for ktv... wow, had fun for the whole nite siazz!!
den sat morning.. was sianzz n tiring.. tryign very hard to study.. felt like giving up even. 1 module is abt proj mgmt, whcih i can grasp. 1 is MATHEMATICAL whcih i totally BLUR!!!! GOSH! had to force myself to read it.. but heck, i still muz get thru this sem. n hor, today, the class, a guy styled his hair. he looks nice. so i sat behind him, n tok him a while. unfortunately, he not chatty. ask him 2-3 qns, den he jus continue his own things...
n.. i'm beginning to go for web based emai liao... to save my disk space... but i'm still trying to see whcih option is better..
now, stil wondering hwo i shld link both them up... shld i copy them to this blog, or shld i jus put a link here? due to same old reasons, i dun wan my coleagues to know my life yet..
ok.. jus checked taht, my last blog was on thur night. so, on fri night, at work, i downloaded n install msn 7. quite nice. first time at work can use msn.. at least will save some sms loh. this ist eh day, which i find myself really enjoying my work. it's tiring, to stare into pc, n input data. i felt i'm really contributing my knowledge. really enjoy programming. n it's a new proj, so dun have any docs to read up on. n first day, i start to contribute liao.
now, i'm oni wondering how to make myself pass the probation... wat's funny is tat, this day, my mum din cook. sms the mgmt guy, he not free. so met my gal pal for dine. n, i'm excited tat, i took a bus from my work plc to my destinations! i wanna go town, so did research. n i found my way!!! COOL! i seem to know singapore a bit more :P
den, had dinner buffet wif her, n she cooked everythign for mi.. sweet hor? i ther eoni to gobble food =D den went for ktv... wow, had fun for the whole nite siazz!!
den sat morning.. was sianzz n tiring.. tryign very hard to study.. felt like giving up even. 1 module is abt proj mgmt, whcih i can grasp. 1 is MATHEMATICAL whcih i totally BLUR!!!! GOSH! had to force myself to read it.. but heck, i still muz get thru this sem. n hor, today, the class, a guy styled his hair. he looks nice. so i sat behind him, n tok him a while. unfortunately, he not chatty. ask him 2-3 qns, den he jus continue his own things...
n.. i'm beginning to go for web based emai liao... to save my disk space... but i'm still trying to see whcih option is better..
Friday, March 24, 2006
I know I've not been blogging for days.. not even at my java-kevin site... well, wat u think.. first day of work, i went for a party after work. it lasted longer than expected, n i got home (my place) at 12+. den 2nd day (today), i went for my class (BORING) n got home abt 12 oso. ya, spent abt 45 mins dining.
tis is my first work, tat dun need much job orientation, almost immediately can start work liao. been doing things since day 1. it's not torturous, but enjoyable. cos i finally see myself doing some programming related work. now still populating db. it's oni the beginning..
not forgetting to mention, when u fall for someone, u usually will wanna sacrifice a bit for him. such as, some things tat he say, if u think it really for he better, u usually will do it. but am i not realising it, or it's really not my case? most ofthe time, thsoe who.. showed interest in mi, they usuall more knowledgeable than mi. well, i do like tat, cos i am those bochap type, who enjoys listening more than doing research n finding out. so when i know them, they usually tell mi more things than i know of.
ok, y i sya these is 'cos, this guy.. who i been mentioning these days, he ask mi to drink plain water instead of soft after dinner, to make myself full. i understand the purpose. i know it's for long term benz. so i switch to it gradually.
then next, is taking bfast. i usually.. nvr take it 1, unless it's sunday, n i go family bfast. i've not taken bfast for years. den he, said tat, i shld go for it, as it's a staple meal of the day. yes i know tat, but it's not ez for mi to get bfast CHEAP n convenient. esp sincei need to leave home early to catch bus. n when i get to work, meals r EX.. costing near $1. i still have my own expenses to cover.
but since i started working here, i've been takign bfast. first day, so qiao, my sis bought croissant. i ate it for bfast on my first day. 2nd day, i know i got the time, so i went to buy a bun. n tat's my bfast. n since i can afford the time n effort, i thot of making it a point, to go family there, prepare my next day bfast, bring hme, morning go take paper n eat bffast. it sounds convenient.. n coincidence...
tis is my first work, tat dun need much job orientation, almost immediately can start work liao. been doing things since day 1. it's not torturous, but enjoyable. cos i finally see myself doing some programming related work. now still populating db. it's oni the beginning..
not forgetting to mention, when u fall for someone, u usually will wanna sacrifice a bit for him. such as, some things tat he say, if u think it really for he better, u usually will do it. but am i not realising it, or it's really not my case? most ofthe time, thsoe who.. showed interest in mi, they usuall more knowledgeable than mi. well, i do like tat, cos i am those bochap type, who enjoys listening more than doing research n finding out. so when i know them, they usually tell mi more things than i know of.
ok, y i sya these is 'cos, this guy.. who i been mentioning these days, he ask mi to drink plain water instead of soft after dinner, to make myself full. i understand the purpose. i know it's for long term benz. so i switch to it gradually.
then next, is taking bfast. i usually.. nvr take it 1, unless it's sunday, n i go family bfast. i've not taken bfast for years. den he, said tat, i shld go for it, as it's a staple meal of the day. yes i know tat, but it's not ez for mi to get bfast CHEAP n convenient. esp sincei need to leave home early to catch bus. n when i get to work, meals r EX.. costing near $1. i still have my own expenses to cover.
but since i started working here, i've been takign bfast. first day, so qiao, my sis bought croissant. i ate it for bfast on my first day. 2nd day, i know i got the time, so i went to buy a bun. n tat's my bfast. n since i can afford the time n effort, i thot of making it a point, to go family there, prepare my next day bfast, bring hme, morning go take paper n eat bffast. it sounds convenient.. n coincidence...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
my last day of work at helpdesk... sigh.. if oni snr understand wat happening these days.. i realy worry for them.. cos.. no 1 gonna pick the phone..but tok abt happy things.. my last day, so i decided to give the team a treat. got 1 technician, he looks decent n proper. my height. but he certainly homo phobia, cos he shuns mi often. dun dare to b near mi. to give him a treat, b4 i leave, i decided to treat his side oso. n bought vege delite specially for him haha.. din put onions as he requested. my greatest consolation, he sms mi "ths for the great lunc" hahaha...
think i gonna update my java blog oso..
think i gonna update my java blog oso..
Sunday, March 19, 2006
finally finished reading my java bk. not sure if i am realyl ready for the job, but at least i read up on java exam again, so as not to paiseh SJCP. now tat i've finished the book (tis time, i din really force myself to rmb the thing, but more to getting the gis n udnerstand it), i dun really know wat i shld do nxt lol..
anyway, r humans really so inclined to new stuff? over the yrs.. or even mths, there have been new faces appearing ont he tv. every now n den got new n appealiing faces.. i have liked pierre png, qiyuwu, julian hee, zzen. but as time goes by, it seems like, i have gradually lost interest in the formers. julian has the fig, n adam oso. so i still love them. others, nope, the interest is lost. i still rmb, taking pic wif zzen when i saw him at It show. but now he's jus another person. seem teh chronicle of life, tat getting accepted is 1 thing, but proving urself n maintaining that level is another..
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ok.. on fri ngiht, i slept pretty late.. so on saturday, i can say i still drowsy. den on saturday, i did some things.. along the day, my eyes have been twitching non-stop.. to an extent, i give up interepreting n rmb'ing abt it timings n meanings.. den.. on sunday, they seem to come true bit by bit.. all the no-gd things, n the gd things..
n i ask my sis abt my work. she spoke from a mgmt POV.. criticised mi for my work attitude going down, not the right thing to do even though i'm leaving, n i shld have discussed wif the sups. i had wanna... but the sup, i feel she surely... dun allow, ccos she bias..
den today... seriously.. i realyl doubt the snr know why i reduce my call load.. the KK seldom pick calls. so during my last wk, i reduce my clal load. so tat he is forced to pick up. den last fri, as i mentioned, i was bombed by snr, tat i din pick enuff calls. ok loh. i will help to pick calls. but i really cant imagine wat'll happen when i leave siazz..
anyway, r humans really so inclined to new stuff? over the yrs.. or even mths, there have been new faces appearing ont he tv. every now n den got new n appealiing faces.. i have liked pierre png, qiyuwu, julian hee, zzen. but as time goes by, it seems like, i have gradually lost interest in the formers. julian has the fig, n adam oso. so i still love them. others, nope, the interest is lost. i still rmb, taking pic wif zzen when i saw him at It show. but now he's jus another person. seem teh chronicle of life, tat getting accepted is 1 thing, but proving urself n maintaining that level is another..
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ok.. on fri ngiht, i slept pretty late.. so on saturday, i can say i still drowsy. den on saturday, i did some things.. along the day, my eyes have been twitching non-stop.. to an extent, i give up interepreting n rmb'ing abt it timings n meanings.. den.. on sunday, they seem to come true bit by bit.. all the no-gd things, n the gd things..
n i ask my sis abt my work. she spoke from a mgmt POV.. criticised mi for my work attitude going down, not the right thing to do even though i'm leaving, n i shld have discussed wif the sups. i had wanna... but the sup, i feel she surely... dun allow, ccos she bias..
den today... seriously.. i realyl doubt the snr know why i reduce my call load.. the KK seldom pick calls. so during my last wk, i reduce my clal load. so tat he is forced to pick up. den last fri, as i mentioned, i was bombed by snr, tat i din pick enuff calls. ok loh. i will help to pick calls. but i really cant imagine wat'll happen when i leave siazz..
i must get it off my chest...
friday was the limit, at my work place. i've only got 2 days left after tis wkend. den the snr held a meeting before KO time.
1) she ask mi, how come the emails no 1 is clearing? i thot u supposed to clear the mails? y, u not doing anythign?
i told her, the responsiblity was not passed down to mi.
she look around for ppl to support her, no ans, den she diamz.
2) she ask mi, how come those "website inaccessible" cases, i send them to the tech support tat side as well, resulting in a high pri case logged?
i told her, i have verified with her, tat those ppl r supposed to b in the CC list. den she oso dumb, n said tat, can use the template to send out. every1 den helped to check the email templates. but found none for the "website" issue.
3) tis is the hellish part. she came down on mi. she said, hwo come tis wk, i pick up so few calls? in the past, i picked so many calls, but tis wk, KK was picking up double my number? she den read out the stats. she said, she not saying i din pick calls, but dun push everything to KK, n try to pick more calls.
i ask her back, but i did pick up calls rite?
she say, yes, but even though it's my last wk, i shld still pick calls (she jus circling around her pt)
i said, i dun think i need to maintain my record correct?
she replied, tat i shld still ans calls...
well, she's jus tryingt o find fault wif mi, tryingt o find every detail to b my fault. cos she dun like mi to challenge her power.
4) i confirmed wif sup tat i got 0.5 day leave more to clear. if cant clear, will give money instead. so, when all r in office, i ask snr, if i can clear leave. she stunned, look at sup, den said she';ll check n lemme know.
i m ok wif working whole day for my last 2 days, i will get 0.5 day $ still. jus see how she gonna do things.
friday was the limit, at my work place. i've only got 2 days left after tis wkend. den the snr held a meeting before KO time.
1) she ask mi, how come the emails no 1 is clearing? i thot u supposed to clear the mails? y, u not doing anythign?
i told her, the responsiblity was not passed down to mi.
she look around for ppl to support her, no ans, den she diamz.
2) she ask mi, how come those "website inaccessible" cases, i send them to the tech support tat side as well, resulting in a high pri case logged?
i told her, i have verified with her, tat those ppl r supposed to b in the CC list. den she oso dumb, n said tat, can use the template to send out. every1 den helped to check the email templates. but found none for the "website" issue.
3) tis is the hellish part. she came down on mi. she said, hwo come tis wk, i pick up so few calls? in the past, i picked so many calls, but tis wk, KK was picking up double my number? she den read out the stats. she said, she not saying i din pick calls, but dun push everything to KK, n try to pick more calls.
i ask her back, but i did pick up calls rite?
she say, yes, but even though it's my last wk, i shld still pick calls (she jus circling around her pt)
i said, i dun think i need to maintain my record correct?
she replied, tat i shld still ans calls...
well, she's jus tryingt o find fault wif mi, tryingt o find every detail to b my fault. cos she dun like mi to challenge her power.
4) i confirmed wif sup tat i got 0.5 day leave more to clear. if cant clear, will give money instead. so, when all r in office, i ask snr, if i can clear leave. she stunned, look at sup, den said she';ll check n lemme know.
i m ok wif working whole day for my last 2 days, i will get 0.5 day $ still. jus see how she gonna do things.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
toking abt sat.. haha, while we doing OT, a 24 hr shift guy was playing techno songs on his pc. i like such songs. den i exclaimed, the songs make mi lose my focus. den hor, my snr actually said "wah liao, dunno how come always play such songs. wah jnr, ur songs better siazz". i know she tryingt o praise jnr. but she probably din realise, she's criticising another person's choice of songs..
monday, we supposed to work at 8am, to prepare for any cockup thing due to the relocation. but, y do WE need to b there early?? wat can we help on? our normal start time is 830 (830 shld b there), n 9am start work officially. we get there 0.5-1 hr earlier. but for wat?? nothign for us to do. totally a boring day. sianzz.. no motivation to work hard. but this place, does give mi knowledge on hwo diff ppl mix..
================
sigh, i have a few thigns in mind... duno how to prioritise... i got my java bk to read (yes bks is theory, but it refreshes my knowledge) to prep for my new job. den oso got my monash boks to read (i dun wan become like last time, focus 2 much on java, den dun read monash bks, resulting in poor results), den now, i oso have to balance between catching up wif frns, having my own time, prep for my job, n saving money, n enjoying myself. wat's more, my contact lens broke again. tis time, i dun die die go for strait optical liao. i now checking out other brands around my plc..
n i muz admit, i forgot when was the last time i visited my frns' blogs.. damn..
=============
why is today so special?? no idea.. *i've not written anything for the past 1-2 days. gonna blog finish by all means.* special in the sense... i got a twitch in right eye. tis usualyl means something good will happen. true... the next night, i got sms from a lovely frn tat he wanna try 1-1 wif mi.. so of cos i'm excited :) now jus see when he's free.. cos he's a "salesman". den, on my way home from work, i saw a army mate (not pal/frn) whose body was pretty nice (not gym type, but got the lines n shape). when i was in the army (tat's where i knew my oz pal), once, he came up to mi, asking y sometime i keep looking at him. hahha, i told him, i found his body shape pretty nice hahah.. i even took a pic of him as i ord.. n i rmb who took it. but on the bus, he dun rmb mi, even though i waved at him. he gave a "huh? who r u? siao, nvm". he was wif a ger. so i din bother much. ahhaah.. but quite surprising to see him lah.
n as i have been blogging, i have been able to anticipate/feel either good or bad things gonna happen, wif my twitching eyes. but, 2 bad, left eye (bad) twitches more often than right. somehow, i feel tat, it's perhaps an indication for mi to grow up n learn to handle bad situations wif care n reasoning, not by moment of anger/unhappiness. cos today, at noon, it twitched. den near early evening, again.
true, around 5pm, KK started doing report, n i felt tat he's trying to push away the job of answering calls. i of cos not happy cos he always not keen to work hard. i walked out (on purpose) but thot abt it, n went back to help wif calls, by benefit of doubt (not exactly wat it means, but it seem to apply here).
den i had arranged wif a frn to watch movie premiere. i got to the meeting place. msg him, no reply. i paced up/down. i rmb abt my 2nd twitch. i am ready for something to ahppen. later on, he called mi, grumbling tat i nvr on my hp. den he wanted mi go directly to the cinema. but i really duno where he means. he jus say "tat cinema". den i rmb, tat i had gone to a cinema in tat area 2 times. so i agar agar know. so i went down.. but i've braced myself for some unhappy happenings.. nothign much happen. oni tat, he was rushign to go in, din buy anything movie food (popcorn, drink etc). but den, i oso felt it's 2 ex.. den din buy oso.
the movie i saw was "born as a pair" chn translation. the show is abt dealing wif cancer. the interesting part in this show is, a guy, or cutie, sent in his singing demo tape for a commercial. but he was struck off the candidate list, as the person din pay attention to the singing. den he was working partime as painter. e nice part abt tis is, he actually dares to sing in the public while he's working. but i dun. i admire his courage. n perhaps his talented voice (not sure if it's his voice tho). some way during the filming of his singing scene, i am touched. he's fulfilling his dream to sing. but i dun dare... dunno if i ever dare to sing. no confidence in my voice...
after movie, my frn asked his frn (call him boy) along for dinner. i can see tat, the boy at times bochap my frn, who keep on toking to him. but boy is always answering calls, sms, or not listening. den i was there, walking behind them. at times teasing my frn. i can see tat, i am jus the supporting role, perhaps jus there to make sure the boy is nto alone. even after the movie, as we walkign off, my frn oni ask wat i wan for dinner, den continue toking to his boy. the part tat made mi felt worst is, when i about to leave, my frn jus "ok ok, bye bye".. in some sense like "my presence is not impt". he may not have meant it this way, but i felt it.
i am comparing him wif my uk frn, chris. perhaps, in the above case, chris is "my frn" while i'm the "boy". but i felt tat, chris would have handled the situation better. in a way tat, the 3rd party will not feel neglected. well, perhaps it the way ppl grow up n decide to behave/live.
monday, we supposed to work at 8am, to prepare for any cockup thing due to the relocation. but, y do WE need to b there early?? wat can we help on? our normal start time is 830 (830 shld b there), n 9am start work officially. we get there 0.5-1 hr earlier. but for wat?? nothign for us to do. totally a boring day. sianzz.. no motivation to work hard. but this place, does give mi knowledge on hwo diff ppl mix..
================
sigh, i have a few thigns in mind... duno how to prioritise... i got my java bk to read (yes bks is theory, but it refreshes my knowledge) to prep for my new job. den oso got my monash boks to read (i dun wan become like last time, focus 2 much on java, den dun read monash bks, resulting in poor results), den now, i oso have to balance between catching up wif frns, having my own time, prep for my job, n saving money, n enjoying myself. wat's more, my contact lens broke again. tis time, i dun die die go for strait optical liao. i now checking out other brands around my plc..
n i muz admit, i forgot when was the last time i visited my frns' blogs.. damn..
=============
why is today so special?? no idea.. *i've not written anything for the past 1-2 days. gonna blog finish by all means.* special in the sense... i got a twitch in right eye. tis usualyl means something good will happen. true... the next night, i got sms from a lovely frn tat he wanna try 1-1 wif mi.. so of cos i'm excited :) now jus see when he's free.. cos he's a "salesman". den, on my way home from work, i saw a army mate (not pal/frn) whose body was pretty nice (not gym type, but got the lines n shape). when i was in the army (tat's where i knew my oz pal), once, he came up to mi, asking y sometime i keep looking at him. hahha, i told him, i found his body shape pretty nice hahah.. i even took a pic of him as i ord.. n i rmb who took it. but on the bus, he dun rmb mi, even though i waved at him. he gave a "huh? who r u? siao, nvm". he was wif a ger. so i din bother much. ahhaah.. but quite surprising to see him lah.
n as i have been blogging, i have been able to anticipate/feel either good or bad things gonna happen, wif my twitching eyes. but, 2 bad, left eye (bad) twitches more often than right. somehow, i feel tat, it's perhaps an indication for mi to grow up n learn to handle bad situations wif care n reasoning, not by moment of anger/unhappiness. cos today, at noon, it twitched. den near early evening, again.
true, around 5pm, KK started doing report, n i felt tat he's trying to push away the job of answering calls. i of cos not happy cos he always not keen to work hard. i walked out (on purpose) but thot abt it, n went back to help wif calls, by benefit of doubt (not exactly wat it means, but it seem to apply here).
den i had arranged wif a frn to watch movie premiere. i got to the meeting place. msg him, no reply. i paced up/down. i rmb abt my 2nd twitch. i am ready for something to ahppen. later on, he called mi, grumbling tat i nvr on my hp. den he wanted mi go directly to the cinema. but i really duno where he means. he jus say "tat cinema". den i rmb, tat i had gone to a cinema in tat area 2 times. so i agar agar know. so i went down.. but i've braced myself for some unhappy happenings.. nothign much happen. oni tat, he was rushign to go in, din buy anything movie food (popcorn, drink etc). but den, i oso felt it's 2 ex.. den din buy oso.
the movie i saw was "born as a pair" chn translation. the show is abt dealing wif cancer. the interesting part in this show is, a guy, or cutie, sent in his singing demo tape for a commercial. but he was struck off the candidate list, as the person din pay attention to the singing. den he was working partime as painter. e nice part abt tis is, he actually dares to sing in the public while he's working. but i dun. i admire his courage. n perhaps his talented voice (not sure if it's his voice tho). some way during the filming of his singing scene, i am touched. he's fulfilling his dream to sing. but i dun dare... dunno if i ever dare to sing. no confidence in my voice...
after movie, my frn asked his frn (call him boy) along for dinner. i can see tat, the boy at times bochap my frn, who keep on toking to him. but boy is always answering calls, sms, or not listening. den i was there, walking behind them. at times teasing my frn. i can see tat, i am jus the supporting role, perhaps jus there to make sure the boy is nto alone. even after the movie, as we walkign off, my frn oni ask wat i wan for dinner, den continue toking to his boy. the part tat made mi felt worst is, when i about to leave, my frn jus "ok ok, bye bye".. in some sense like "my presence is not impt". he may not have meant it this way, but i felt it.
i am comparing him wif my uk frn, chris. perhaps, in the above case, chris is "my frn" while i'm the "boy". but i felt tat, chris would have handled the situation better. in a way tat, the 3rd party will not feel neglected. well, perhaps it the way ppl grow up n decide to behave/live.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Saturday, March 11, 2006
got a lot of work issues to grumble.
1) i dun have much idea y is tis happening suddenly. on thurs, snr ask mi to update some cases. i discussed 1 case with her, but she dun get my pt. i told her, the user wanted to resolve a prob, but die die dun wan visit us. den she dun get the pt n keep asking mi to try again. ok, den i call. after calling, she actually declared i din pass the right msg. i sounded i jus wanna close case, instead of solving it. i jumped at her, telling her tat she dunno wat the user told mi. she diam diam..
2) she ask mi hwo coem a case not closed, n jus pending there. i told her, i'm waiting to find out, who resolved the case. den she say, waiting dun mean i cannot jus close the case, n let it pend 4ever... kauzz... say until like dat.. again machiam my fault. den i told her, last time i ask her, she say she will find out for mi. den she stunned.
these 2 times, sup is around... AND THEN, wat irritated mi most is... on thurs, i have to go for sch. b4 6pm, i asked openly if i can go earlier. no reply, i took it as silent consent. den i went off, after announcing i leaving. den as i reached ground flr of office, they called mi, demanding i go up again. WAT?? i went up, the sup reprimanded mi for not respecting snr, who is asst sup. i shld always ask snr for permission. den, snr said, ok i can go...
how does tat feel huh?? going up, to get a scolding, n going down in mins. can't they jus tell mi when i get backt o work the next day?? sighzz.. other reasons i oso dun wan mention.
n these day, sup seem to be picking on mi... i can oni say, i've lost ym respect for him being impartial..
den for snr.. i find her.. silly.. during work, i was chatting wif a developer about java stuff.. we chatted for abt 5 mins. den right after we ended, snr tok to tat new ger. it felt like.. snr was listening to our conversation.. den, today we working OT.. wah siao.. i felt so much discrimination. sup n snr came LATE. very late. machiam, early birds do morr work. den.. snr hor, actually oso secretly observe wat i do siazz... obvious observation... hahah.. somehow, jus observing, how far this helpdesk will stay cohesive...
=============
watching the show hosted by adam chen. it's abt rescuing of dogs. they are just SOO pitiful!! adam n the real rescuers went to find the stray dogs. den, the narrator said, u have to squat down, to reduce ur aggressiveness, wif them, and feed them food, to get into their gd books. den once they lower their guard, u can pick them up n pat them. they'll feel safer.
i support their cause, n happy tat it's easy for them to rescue the dogs.. but then, i scared tis part will b abused.. in such a way tat, dog haters will know how to entice dogs n... threaten them.. dogs are JUS SO TRUSTING! IT'S GOOD N BAD!! when the dog was rescued n patted, i was weeping.. it's so just trusting!! wat if those guys r jus hoax????
den as the dog is brought to kind souls' houses for a voluntary washup, i felt so happy for it.. it's been rescued, n in good hands... den as adam ended tat part wif the dog, i felt happy for it... n wept again... ;) now, anotehr dream of mine, is setup a home for the dogs... FOC.. for ppl who really abandoned n no 1 wanna them.. i dun care abt taboo n disabled dogs...
1) i dun have much idea y is tis happening suddenly. on thurs, snr ask mi to update some cases. i discussed 1 case with her, but she dun get my pt. i told her, the user wanted to resolve a prob, but die die dun wan visit us. den she dun get the pt n keep asking mi to try again. ok, den i call. after calling, she actually declared i din pass the right msg. i sounded i jus wanna close case, instead of solving it. i jumped at her, telling her tat she dunno wat the user told mi. she diam diam..
2) she ask mi hwo coem a case not closed, n jus pending there. i told her, i'm waiting to find out, who resolved the case. den she say, waiting dun mean i cannot jus close the case, n let it pend 4ever... kauzz... say until like dat.. again machiam my fault. den i told her, last time i ask her, she say she will find out for mi. den she stunned.
these 2 times, sup is around... AND THEN, wat irritated mi most is... on thurs, i have to go for sch. b4 6pm, i asked openly if i can go earlier. no reply, i took it as silent consent. den i went off, after announcing i leaving. den as i reached ground flr of office, they called mi, demanding i go up again. WAT?? i went up, the sup reprimanded mi for not respecting snr, who is asst sup. i shld always ask snr for permission. den, snr said, ok i can go...
how does tat feel huh?? going up, to get a scolding, n going down in mins. can't they jus tell mi when i get backt o work the next day?? sighzz.. other reasons i oso dun wan mention.
n these day, sup seem to be picking on mi... i can oni say, i've lost ym respect for him being impartial..
den for snr.. i find her.. silly.. during work, i was chatting wif a developer about java stuff.. we chatted for abt 5 mins. den right after we ended, snr tok to tat new ger. it felt like.. snr was listening to our conversation.. den, today we working OT.. wah siao.. i felt so much discrimination. sup n snr came LATE. very late. machiam, early birds do morr work. den.. snr hor, actually oso secretly observe wat i do siazz... obvious observation... hahah.. somehow, jus observing, how far this helpdesk will stay cohesive...
=============
watching the show hosted by adam chen. it's abt rescuing of dogs. they are just SOO pitiful!! adam n the real rescuers went to find the stray dogs. den, the narrator said, u have to squat down, to reduce ur aggressiveness, wif them, and feed them food, to get into their gd books. den once they lower their guard, u can pick them up n pat them. they'll feel safer.
i support their cause, n happy tat it's easy for them to rescue the dogs.. but then, i scared tis part will b abused.. in such a way tat, dog haters will know how to entice dogs n... threaten them.. dogs are JUS SO TRUSTING! IT'S GOOD N BAD!! when the dog was rescued n patted, i was weeping.. it's so just trusting!! wat if those guys r jus hoax????
den as the dog is brought to kind souls' houses for a voluntary washup, i felt so happy for it.. it's been rescued, n in good hands... den as adam ended tat part wif the dog, i felt happy for it... n wept again... ;) now, anotehr dream of mine, is setup a home for the dogs... FOC.. for ppl who really abandoned n no 1 wanna them.. i dun care abt taboo n disabled dogs...
Thursday, March 09, 2006
no longer expecting ppl to understand mi, no longer expecting ppl to read up my info. preferring to communicate verbally, rather than by internet. taking things easy, n let the flow smooth, i try to no longer rush into things, but let time develop the fruit for me.
did i mention abt a guy who i met, n we went into a lift? we have been keeping in touch since we met. he's busy guy, i know. at first, he'll send mi morning greetz, i'll reply wif mine. den gradually, i became the person to send, n he reply when he free. den, today, i sms him my new no, n ask him how is he wif his 39yo guy. he reply wif std msg, n ask mi call him back.
so i called. we chatted fine. i took the initiative to ask how was he wif tat 39 yo guy. den he ask mi, if i hope, he can b my bf. i replied "tat will b my hope". he oso ask mi y. i explained to him.. n he admitted, he dinno my thinking is tat matured liao. b4 we hung up, he thx mi for telling him certain thinsg : )
alright, bed time.
did i mention abt a guy who i met, n we went into a lift? we have been keeping in touch since we met. he's busy guy, i know. at first, he'll send mi morning greetz, i'll reply wif mine. den gradually, i became the person to send, n he reply when he free. den, today, i sms him my new no, n ask him how is he wif his 39yo guy. he reply wif std msg, n ask mi call him back.
so i called. we chatted fine. i took the initiative to ask how was he wif tat 39 yo guy. den he ask mi, if i hope, he can b my bf. i replied "tat will b my hope". he oso ask mi y. i explained to him.. n he admitted, he dinno my thinking is tat matured liao. b4 we hung up, he thx mi for telling him certain thinsg : )
alright, bed time.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
regarding riots, i do know its negative effects. but, seeing that other countries have riots occurring so easily, what is it that prevented any riots in singapore? laws, work commitment, or simply not-in-our-blood?
horniness? no lah.. jus to blog my growing up n realising process.
=======================
been watching the ch8 idol contest. i din stay tuned to it, but at least saw who kena boot out. these ppl r still young. is tat y, they may not know anything abt acting? they jus have a passion for it, but not sure wat it entails? cos as an actor, u have to take care of ur every movement n gesture. i heard may phua teling them, every gesture has a motive. i find the word too heavy. i prefer purpose. using ur eyes, lips, facial, hands, body, legs. these all carry meaning when they move. n.. sometimes, when they boot out, they'll say, the stage let them experience the taste of life, n to see things from a diff view. haha.. well, i can say, as helpdesk person, i have been doing tat as well.
anyway, now i finally realise, why some ppl can experience a change in mindset after taking up a role. cos, when they take the role, they have to immerse themselves fully into the role. tink as tat person, feel n move like tat person. u have to really make urself into tat person to pull it off. u may have been ppl expericing certain stages of life. but without being thru it, u may not udnestand the emotions running inside them, n wat they r thinking of at the moment. n if u really manage to live in tat person's world, u could really b affected by his culture n mindset, until u lose ur original character, or u gain another perspective from his view...
=================
i've just collected my amei latest cd. when i saw her posters being pinned up in cd-rama wks ago, i suddenly felt like crying. it's been a long time since i saw her.. at all. it's like someone who i idolise, i have not been in touch wif her. den when i collected her cd, browsing thru the cd info, i almost wanna cry. it was like i am picking the things she left behind, without a word.
===============
seems like, it's my first time, to wait for so long b4 i buy somethign. i've oredi made up my mind to buy it liao. first time to actually still wait, b4 i purchase it, n wait for 1.5 mths still. cos my contract ending 7th mar. i'm tight now, i cant afford to b a spendthrift. have to wait till tmr 7th mar to get it.. wah long wait siazz.. but at least, i learnt to bide my time.. no need to rush into things to make it work.. sometimes, "good things come to those who wait" is true.. but, never forget, "opportunity never knocks twice" :)
horniness? no lah.. jus to blog my growing up n realising process.
=======================
been watching the ch8 idol contest. i din stay tuned to it, but at least saw who kena boot out. these ppl r still young. is tat y, they may not know anything abt acting? they jus have a passion for it, but not sure wat it entails? cos as an actor, u have to take care of ur every movement n gesture. i heard may phua teling them, every gesture has a motive. i find the word too heavy. i prefer purpose. using ur eyes, lips, facial, hands, body, legs. these all carry meaning when they move. n.. sometimes, when they boot out, they'll say, the stage let them experience the taste of life, n to see things from a diff view. haha.. well, i can say, as helpdesk person, i have been doing tat as well.
anyway, now i finally realise, why some ppl can experience a change in mindset after taking up a role. cos, when they take the role, they have to immerse themselves fully into the role. tink as tat person, feel n move like tat person. u have to really make urself into tat person to pull it off. u may have been ppl expericing certain stages of life. but without being thru it, u may not udnestand the emotions running inside them, n wat they r thinking of at the moment. n if u really manage to live in tat person's world, u could really b affected by his culture n mindset, until u lose ur original character, or u gain another perspective from his view...
=================
i've just collected my amei latest cd. when i saw her posters being pinned up in cd-rama wks ago, i suddenly felt like crying. it's been a long time since i saw her.. at all. it's like someone who i idolise, i have not been in touch wif her. den when i collected her cd, browsing thru the cd info, i almost wanna cry. it was like i am picking the things she left behind, without a word.
===============
seems like, it's my first time, to wait for so long b4 i buy somethign. i've oredi made up my mind to buy it liao. first time to actually still wait, b4 i purchase it, n wait for 1.5 mths still. cos my contract ending 7th mar. i'm tight now, i cant afford to b a spendthrift. have to wait till tmr 7th mar to get it.. wah long wait siazz.. but at least, i learnt to bide my time.. no need to rush into things to make it work.. sometimes, "good things come to those who wait" is true.. but, never forget, "opportunity never knocks twice" :)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
shld i rejoice? do i sound evil if i do? cos.. the snr really losing pop here. wat piss mi is (seem like i din blog tis), last night, i was checking a case. the ph rang. she simply got ready to go toilet, din bother to pick ph. she on way to study yes. but so?? den the jnr, she need to buy dinner. so she told mi she need to go down. u know wat, the snr whispered "if he cant wait for 5 mins, kick him out" jokingly. i rebuted "hey, 5 min oni, den u wait lah" she said "cannot lah, i got class ah". i said "i oso meeting my frns mah". she diamz.
n den, ytday (wed), she's kinda quiet all teh way. din tok at all. den today, even more power. we din tok at all. she dun wan listen to wat i say lol.. n friday, i officially announce that, she's really not toking to mi hahaha.. i can't say i've won any battle, but at least, she finally din try to criticise mi anymore. but i hope, it does not mean my pop lvl gone down...
on friday, she started 2 b the troubleshooter for problems. 1 case, the person called m b4. i know details. the developer knw tat i have the details. but she jus dun bother to ask. later i inform developer, she silently went off... hahah... den, in morning, she ask whether i have updated a daily xls file. usually.. our attitude is update when we like. but tat morn, she specifically ask mi (tat wk, all of us were supposed to update. jus tat i am in chrage of the xls the day b4 - thurs) whether i updated anot. i told her, i jus did, n she is stunned.
sighzz.. den KK.. wah liao.. nothign to say abt him anymore... ju tired of it. n i can see, how words can make 1 flare up on the EQ side. cos, for a simple task, he keep doing his own way whcih does not work. but he die die wan it. den i told him the proper way for 3rd time, he say better to document it down. i knw he jus wanna play punk, so i ask him to type out while i say. den.. u know, next few days, he still din follow docu. i immediately told him to READ THRU the ENTIre notepad. n he was stunned n unconvinced. i'm bad huh? sighzz (yes, again), our work environment now.. really sucks to the core. when i first joined, jnr n lady go lunch together. mi snr n tech guy lunch. lady gone, KK come in. so KK go wif jnr instead. den later, tech guy leave. leaving mi n snr. but we cant click. so, sometimes, snr find her kaki (last min den say) n i go myself. den comes the new ger. wif the new ger, i can click wif her totally. for lunch hrs, it's odd. now, i n new ger go lunch. if jnr not around, KK go himself, n snr go find her kaki. if jnr n KK around, jnr go wif KK. if jnr n snr around, they go SEPARATELY. nvr together.
den these days, snr like wanna build rapport wif jnr n new ger. but she knw she cant clikc wif the eng speaking KK, so she dun bother. Yet? dunno. on thur, after work, KK n snr n jnr stay back do work. jnr abt to go. snr ask her wait for her. jnr went off to toilet first, but snr kan cheong, call jnr come back. DEN, snr went toilet herself. the jnr, while waiting, ask us, wat to do, cos she dun wan go wif snr.. but 2 bad, after she ask this, snr came back in.. n off they went...
den ytday (fri), new ger asking if i ready to go. den snr oso abt to leave liao. i told new ger, i go toilet first. when i came out, new ger msg mi "they go first". hahah.. well, naturally, the first thot tat came my mind, is snr simply dun wan mi to tag along. heeh, on the surface, our helpdesk is working seamlessly... but in fact... haah.. is this the usual situation? well, it's my first time to stay somewhere for 1 yr leh..
oh ya, i've just made another blog for my work related stuff.. jus created oni. i cant let ppl know abt my personal life so easily, but i have to catch up wif the internet tech oso. haha, but am i following the footsteps of my gal pal? duno yet. she had it some time back. but i jus felt its need, so i created.
n den, ytday (wed), she's kinda quiet all teh way. din tok at all. den today, even more power. we din tok at all. she dun wan listen to wat i say lol.. n friday, i officially announce that, she's really not toking to mi hahaha.. i can't say i've won any battle, but at least, she finally din try to criticise mi anymore. but i hope, it does not mean my pop lvl gone down...
on friday, she started 2 b the troubleshooter for problems. 1 case, the person called m b4. i know details. the developer knw tat i have the details. but she jus dun bother to ask. later i inform developer, she silently went off... hahah... den, in morning, she ask whether i have updated a daily xls file. usually.. our attitude is update when we like. but tat morn, she specifically ask mi (tat wk, all of us were supposed to update. jus tat i am in chrage of the xls the day b4 - thurs) whether i updated anot. i told her, i jus did, n she is stunned.
sighzz.. den KK.. wah liao.. nothign to say abt him anymore... ju tired of it. n i can see, how words can make 1 flare up on the EQ side. cos, for a simple task, he keep doing his own way whcih does not work. but he die die wan it. den i told him the proper way for 3rd time, he say better to document it down. i knw he jus wanna play punk, so i ask him to type out while i say. den.. u know, next few days, he still din follow docu. i immediately told him to READ THRU the ENTIre notepad. n he was stunned n unconvinced. i'm bad huh? sighzz (yes, again), our work environment now.. really sucks to the core. when i first joined, jnr n lady go lunch together. mi snr n tech guy lunch. lady gone, KK come in. so KK go wif jnr instead. den later, tech guy leave. leaving mi n snr. but we cant click. so, sometimes, snr find her kaki (last min den say) n i go myself. den comes the new ger. wif the new ger, i can click wif her totally. for lunch hrs, it's odd. now, i n new ger go lunch. if jnr not around, KK go himself, n snr go find her kaki. if jnr n KK around, jnr go wif KK. if jnr n snr around, they go SEPARATELY. nvr together.
den these days, snr like wanna build rapport wif jnr n new ger. but she knw she cant clikc wif the eng speaking KK, so she dun bother. Yet? dunno. on thur, after work, KK n snr n jnr stay back do work. jnr abt to go. snr ask her wait for her. jnr went off to toilet first, but snr kan cheong, call jnr come back. DEN, snr went toilet herself. the jnr, while waiting, ask us, wat to do, cos she dun wan go wif snr.. but 2 bad, after she ask this, snr came back in.. n off they went...
den ytday (fri), new ger asking if i ready to go. den snr oso abt to leave liao. i told new ger, i go toilet first. when i came out, new ger msg mi "they go first". hahah.. well, naturally, the first thot tat came my mind, is snr simply dun wan mi to tag along. heeh, on the surface, our helpdesk is working seamlessly... but in fact... haah.. is this the usual situation? well, it's my first time to stay somewhere for 1 yr leh..
oh ya, i've just made another blog for my work related stuff.. jus created oni. i cant let ppl know abt my personal life so easily, but i have to catch up wif the internet tech oso. haha, but am i following the footsteps of my gal pal? duno yet. she had it some time back. but i jus felt its need, so i created.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
my gal pal mentioned tat, my stds for guys have kinda dropped. i wonder, does it happen to everyone, as they advance in age? when I was younger, (hereby, i shall speak the truth, cos it's indeed my growing up phase. if anyone choose to discriminate me just 'cos of the truth, I am unable to help it.) i had dreams of going out n settling down with gorgeous guys. these include bengs (yes i still LOVE them to the MAX), cuties n watever. i din even pay attention to ppl who look older, or try to "pick" mi up, unless they look great. however, as i grow older, i realise tat, y do i simply pick on good looking guys? some of them cant even hold a proper conversation. brains, or brawns? pick 1, not both. if not, they will have an attitude wif themselves. "I'm good looking, tat y u tok to mi. i have loads of frns, why shld i bother about u?" or "i think u are interested in my body, but i'm not. dun come and disturb mi. i have better things to do than entertaining u. hey, where's tat hot dude??"
but 2 things have changed my mindset/thinking.
1) everyone wants to know cuties. and if possible, either have physical interaction or know them better. or simply look at every inch of the body outline, formed the clothes they wear. i oso wan. since i wan to do this to ppl. ppl oso will want to ogle at me. it's a mere exchange of interested looks. come on, if no 1 bothers to look, what's ur market value?? tat's y, nowadays, anyone who cares to chat wif mi, i'll try to strike a converastion wif them. if it lasts, a new frnship will b formed. if not, at least i know, he's either acquaintance, or a hi-bye frn (i'm still not used to tis term). if i tok to a person, i normally will want to have a proper chat. if he can't make it, den i'll know he's oni a goodlooker.
2) frns have no boundaries. dun everytime think of ppl are wanna bed u. ya lah, tis is flawful. but then, if u really no interest, u can still stay as frns wif them. who knows, they may turn out to b the frns u need most.
==============
err, somehow i deviated from my original topic :P ok.. when i was younger, i dreamt of knwoing gorgeous guys. den now, my choice of guys r either getting wider, or the population is getting more metrosexual, or my std has gone down. either way, wat i wan say is, is it true tat, when u r still glowing, u have certain stds of Mr Right. However, as ur glow dims, ur std gets lower, cos u r still finding that Right. until a pt when u realise u really adv a lot in age, but u still single, u jus wnana find a person who can b there for u, n all the fantasies of sparks glamourous fireworks will jus disappear? is this happening to mi?
was watching channel u's love match game. a ger gets to choose who she wann dine wif. n the guy can choose his date oso. ger A choose cute23. cute32 choose ger B. so 3some dine. gerA choose cute23 cos she likes him. gerA looks older than her age of 23. gerB looks her age of 23. den at the end of the show, gerA ask cute23 his opinions of her. cute23 say she a pistachio (kai xin guo aka happy fruit) cos she is always smiling and it warm his heart oso. in the end, cute23 goes for gerA. cos he's comfy wif her presence. i wonder... a lot of things.. is gerB ready for a chat? did cute23 choose gerA for the tv show effect? is cute23 comfy wif the looks of gerA? btw, i gave the cute23 not 'cos he's cute, but oni to refer easily.
after the CNY, i changed my camera bag to crumpler bag for style. but over 1 mth, it seem to bring bad luck... u know.. 3 incidents.
1) CNY dinner wif frns (i forgot if i changed my camera bag liao anot), it was on a wkday. i supposed to take pix as usual wif them. but end up, no pix taken, cos they bz wif eating. i oni took pix of fireworks.
2) he's someone who i almost did something wif. we met for 2nd time. n i asked if he wanna take pic. he declined.
3) worst case. my frn's bday. on the day iself, i bring camera along. called him to confirm timing, he say things turned out badly. i suggested meeting him up for dinner. he said he'll think abt it. later he declined still.
so jialutz?? am i really not fated to use stylo bags?? unless it's really my choice??
i remember, when i had plans for the future, i look forward to it pretty much... like getting new job (i basically spent my days sending out resumes siazzz), n preparing my oz trip. den, everytime after that objective has been met, i'll kinda feel that my time is empty. i dun have much things to look forward to. nothing for mi to prepare for..sigh.. i think i better try to find other objectives..
but 2 things have changed my mindset/thinking.
1) everyone wants to know cuties. and if possible, either have physical interaction or know them better. or simply look at every inch of the body outline, formed the clothes they wear. i oso wan. since i wan to do this to ppl. ppl oso will want to ogle at me. it's a mere exchange of interested looks. come on, if no 1 bothers to look, what's ur market value?? tat's y, nowadays, anyone who cares to chat wif mi, i'll try to strike a converastion wif them. if it lasts, a new frnship will b formed. if not, at least i know, he's either acquaintance, or a hi-bye frn (i'm still not used to tis term). if i tok to a person, i normally will want to have a proper chat. if he can't make it, den i'll know he's oni a goodlooker.
2) frns have no boundaries. dun everytime think of ppl are wanna bed u. ya lah, tis is flawful. but then, if u really no interest, u can still stay as frns wif them. who knows, they may turn out to b the frns u need most.
==============
err, somehow i deviated from my original topic :P ok.. when i was younger, i dreamt of knwoing gorgeous guys. den now, my choice of guys r either getting wider, or the population is getting more metrosexual, or my std has gone down. either way, wat i wan say is, is it true tat, when u r still glowing, u have certain stds of Mr Right. However, as ur glow dims, ur std gets lower, cos u r still finding that Right. until a pt when u realise u really adv a lot in age, but u still single, u jus wnana find a person who can b there for u, n all the fantasies of sparks glamourous fireworks will jus disappear? is this happening to mi?
was watching channel u's love match game. a ger gets to choose who she wann dine wif. n the guy can choose his date oso. ger A choose cute23. cute32 choose ger B. so 3some dine. gerA choose cute23 cos she likes him. gerA looks older than her age of 23. gerB looks her age of 23. den at the end of the show, gerA ask cute23 his opinions of her. cute23 say she a pistachio (kai xin guo aka happy fruit) cos she is always smiling and it warm his heart oso. in the end, cute23 goes for gerA. cos he's comfy wif her presence. i wonder... a lot of things.. is gerB ready for a chat? did cute23 choose gerA for the tv show effect? is cute23 comfy wif the looks of gerA? btw, i gave the cute23 not 'cos he's cute, but oni to refer easily.
after the CNY, i changed my camera bag to crumpler bag for style. but over 1 mth, it seem to bring bad luck... u know.. 3 incidents.
1) CNY dinner wif frns (i forgot if i changed my camera bag liao anot), it was on a wkday. i supposed to take pix as usual wif them. but end up, no pix taken, cos they bz wif eating. i oni took pix of fireworks.
2) he's someone who i almost did something wif. we met for 2nd time. n i asked if he wanna take pic. he declined.
3) worst case. my frn's bday. on the day iself, i bring camera along. called him to confirm timing, he say things turned out badly. i suggested meeting him up for dinner. he said he'll think abt it. later he declined still.
so jialutz?? am i really not fated to use stylo bags?? unless it's really my choice??
i remember, when i had plans for the future, i look forward to it pretty much... like getting new job (i basically spent my days sending out resumes siazzz), n preparing my oz trip. den, everytime after that objective has been met, i'll kinda feel that my time is empty. i dun have much things to look forward to. nothing for mi to prepare for..sigh.. i think i better try to find other objectives..
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