am happy that.. some ppl even searched my name in engines haha..

over the 1 wk i set up my counter, got lotsa ppl coming in.. this place can only keep 50 new visit records... den recetnly, been staying around 40+ hehe... especially.. got ppl form the forums... ahhaha..

oh no!!!!

when i came home, i threw my keys onto my bed.. thot can aim at the blanket... but end up throw 2 far, land onto my "Gothika" VCD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wah liao.. got 1 line of deep crack, and couple more lines!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHZZZ!!!

oh yes!!!

finally. my room is occupied oni by ur truly :D...

sianz... my time schedules now kinda cork up... my java lessons... my new n old job.. java lessons... dunno how liao.. to stop.. n end up paying money, but dun go lessons.. or wat... on my way home from family.. i guess i'll check with them on how i can resolve this issue...

my new job.. same thign... the pay.. n oso.. wah liao.. the start date really corkup a lot of thigns siazz.. but i at fault oso.. cos somehow.. dunno y, i din bother to check with them if they can let mi work 1 wk later... so tat my current job can 1 mth notice...

my curent job.. wah liaozz.. they dun wan to let mi go.. say not enuff manpower.. dun wan to release mi... my ex-colleague advise mi to check contract.. if oni got "pay to terminate earlier", den by all means, go ahead.

is it bad luck or by chance?

this morning, i woke up, was prety tired.. so decided i'll feign sick at work... to show tat "i no mc.. sick oso veli jialut"... den my boss ask mi to rest inside room.. inside room.. got 3 calls...

1 call is from sun training centre.. the instructor called to ask if i attending classes. i said i not attending.. cos too busy... ya tat's not the real reason..

den 2nd call.. from the receptionist who took the troubles to arrange for mi n explain my case in details to mi... jus to ensure i can take the course properly... she was questioning how i jus skipped the classes w/o reasons... or even calling them up... i told her. 'cos my coy last min got big proj.. den all leaves cancelled... but she told mi tat, no matter wat, i still need to pay... for my course.. yes i din pay yet.

den 3rd call is... a 3rd party agency (she) who got mi this new job.. she was checking on my contract details to check how much i got... since i signed contract liao, n she is agency, i told her how muhc i getting... i oso told her my suspicions on getting sucha low pay..

cos.. my mistake.. somehow i told agency tat i oredi resigned from my job.. they surprised tat i resigned w/o knowing the offer... i dunno how n when i told them.. but since they mentioned.. i felt somethign was wrong.. in end, the offer was lower than wat i wanna... i feel they taking adv tat i oredi quit, so use it to their adv. purposely press down... cos they are initially offering mi my basic salary as the amt i get when i jus started work. i negotiated, n finalyl some a slight increment...

she did say i can reject the offer.. but i was sending resume from jan till now, oni 3 interviews.. i feel tat.. the issue is i worked 2 many jobs in shor ttime.. so bosses fear mi... so somehow i took up the offer...

den i oso ask her how much commission she got from mi.. it was a meagre amt... cos she normally will get much more (i hiding details here).. she felt she was shortcharged... well, at least now, both of us are unhappy...

den.. 1 more call.. came when i went toilet.. it was my current agency, telling mi i cant go on 14 mar.. muz wait till 1 full mth later den go.. god... i thot another killing news... i kept to myself..

later, i told my sup tat i taking half day off to rest.. he agreed... but i went to attend my course lah.. i checked the T&C.. if i cancel course last min, the course fee will be forfeited...

so i still attend the first day of my course.. n realise tat... i need to attend at least 4 days in order to get my subsidy... i was thinking of feigning for MC 2 days.. but it will be damn obvious.. as i supposed to attend classes...

now, my plan is to persuade my boss to let mi take 2 days' leave...

msg'ed my master for advice.. he din reply yet...

last night wanna sleep early... but.. still end up sleeping after 12am.. now a bit drowsy as usual... sighzz

somehow hor.. the new channel 8 9pm show.. made my head turn for chris lee, jacelyn tay, and chew chor meng...

chris lee this time seem more down to earth.. more amicable, frnly, more of a mere citizen.. in past he seem more like commercial product...

jacelyn... afte rher he xian gu role, now she act someone who so ugly n lok kok.. she's pretty much the joke... haha..

chew chor meng.. he's quite cute in his acting.. those gestures... haha..

my master called mi.. or shld i still adress him master? not sure.. i dunno if i shld say he disappointed mi anot.. but when a few days back, he said he forgot my number, thus cant call mi... i was disappointed... he has been sms'ing i all along, den suddenly say he dun have my number.. i was stunned.

den i started givign him cold shoulder as i mentioed... had wanted to maintain it this way.. but i relented.. as not many ppl can catch the emotional side of humans... so i msg him on msn tat, i want to tok to him..

later he did call mi to tok.. so i told him why i was cold to him.. oh.. he finally undrstand liaozz.. i jus checked my blog.. i wrote "simply no feeling tat i his frn.. mroe to someone who can listen to his probs... yes, it's good tat he confide in mi... show he trust mi.. but i'd prefer a frn, rather than someone who say he trust mi."

today.. jsu now, i said something else.. which either supplemented wat i wanna say, or made it more serious... i said "i felt that, you treated mi as though i'm helpline.. u can trust mi wif ur thinking and confide in mi.. but i prefer frns... yes u said u trust mi.. but i prefer frns.. not ppl who said they trust mi n confide in mi oni..."

i oso told him how i felt abt those sms tat went unnoticed... he was apologetic.. i replied "apologies work when time has proven its credibility." (but said in simpler terms lah)... cos even if he keep apologising.. but he never proved tat he meant the apology, wat pt is there?

he apologise.. but time will prove if his apologies are sincere anot... the feel is not there anymore... the feel to be so close to him... yes, can still chat, but i'll not tell him any intimate.. or details of my life... those tat i feel oni ppl who really care shld know.. this master, will not know for now..

if somehow, he show he really care, and not lip service (symbolic, not literal), once i feel it, thigns could be back to normal... when we can have fun... for now, when he jokes abt our roles, i treat it as cold jokes... maybe... right now, i'm confused abt how i shld see him.. as a casual frn, or someone who can play master slave role...

nvm.. i'm losing track of wat i'm saying.. n explaining... let's see what goes...

sighzzz.. i know wat i wanna write.. but jus when abt to write.. i forgot again...

finally rmb... it's abt my gift to my close f-frn. i was recording my singing as a gift.. wah liao... in past, i oso tried to record... on those cassette tapes. den i heard myself was.. not-to-be-enjoyed, but more to .. ok lah, dun wan say any consolation words for myself... those who thnk he can sing.. but the voice does not sound tat good... sighzz..

i thot i improved liao.. over the years... but last few days i recorded again.. n realise my voice still sounds like blocked... like voice is muffled... ok.. but for sincerety, i still sent the file over..

den, yesterday, i tried recording again.. wah kauzz.. dunno lei.. shld widen my mouth to sing? or this can be my style? duno, after hearing my voice on the computer, i felt discouraged... even had those dreams of becoming star.. but.....

hehe.. been to the party.. and enjoyed it pretty much haha.. ok.. i was going to it last min.. so everything was quite rush.. even when i alight from bus, i alight 1 stop later, wah, had a little trouble getting to the place..

when i finalyl got there.. all the guys there are pretty alright.. all are those can-make-it type. but got 1 guy who i quite keen.. he wearing tank top... he dun have the looks lah.. but i like his body... den got 1 student. or youngster. at the start, iw as again.. quite scared of wat to do..

den when he mood came, th guy was tied up liao.. was kinda mummified.. i played a bit wif his body... but din do much... n i went on to tie up tat youngster body.. ahah.. ppl were kidna stunned... cos i actually tied his hands n legs together haha... he was lying on the ground, back facing the ceiling.. or rather prostrating way haha/

den he tried to struggle... i den slapped his hands... used my whip to slap him, and slapped his face oso.. haha... slap n whip till so songzz!!! even spanked him siazz.. n played his body slightly... den ppl took over n played him till dawn LOL...

while playing wif him... i saw tat the guy was released liaozz.. maybe he din enjoy tat much,... den he was sittign on a stool.. so i went up, asking if he wanna be tied.. "yes" was answer... i suggested wat i wanna do - suspend him in mid air... haha he scared the cage cant contain him.. so i say use him spreadeagle.. he ok.. den he oso asked maybe if i cant tie him.. he can tie mi instead haha..

i rmb when this start, we intro.. he got say... he normally sub... but if somoene is to his liking, he can b dom LOL...

nevertheless, i stil tied him up.. spreadeagle.. he oni into bondage... so tied him up.. n caressed his body... played his body till i happy.. n i was like non-stop playing wif his body.. using ice cube... tickling.. sucking nipps, twitching, n fondling his ptes... n even imitated fingering him.. he not into anal, so i let him know wat i doing.. he ok wif it.. den i finger him hha..

but hor, when i ask him flex his muscles.. he like dun wan... cos his arm still flabby...had much fun wif him.. i can say... my firsdt enjoyable SM scene there!!

i think he was pretty turned on by mi.. my acts.. cos every now n then, he'll let out a moan, and groan.. oso kissed his cheeks... he was scared at the armpits.. so, got 1 time, i caress armpit, suck nipps, n caress ptes!! haha.. he was so excited siazz!!

den later, got 1 guy wanna join in.. ok, i let him play wif front part.. den later another guy.. old guy.. came in, to do oral... ok loh.. i let him.. since he seem to be left out...

haah.. later he cum out oso... hha.. his cum spat to my pants oso haha... i mean my leg got it.. i am quite ok wif it... den everything done... i untied him.. led him somwhere to sit... n untied his blindfold.. den teased tat i going toilet, to wash my leg as it was stained wif his output haha..

i can say this time, i enjoy quite a bit.. haha.. hugged him.. haha.. he now standing mah.. so i guess.. it's really nice to hug such size... din feel e same "loved" "u r the one" "i must have u" type of feeling, but more to .. i enjoyed the hugging n playing.. hehe..

oh ya, his nipps are sensitive oso.. same as mi haha... i think this is why... i can turn him on so well ehhe...

cool picture hor?? checking my old bookmarks den saw this picture...

simply dun wan tell him why i so cold towards him lately.. i want him to ask..

i ignore him.. give 1 liner.. is more 'cos, i sms him, he dun reply... oni when i talked to him abt it, den he reply.. since he dun reply my sms, i dun see why i shld sms him anymore...

he did tell mi abt his schedule for the day over msn... n told mi wat happening wif him.. but i jsu dun have the mood to tok fun wif him.. anymore.. he oso tried to explain tat, he bz consoling his Elder, n might neglect us... ok so wat?

was having problem... adjusting to a pay-cut...

as i was writing this blog... my 2nd master (wif the Elder 1) msg mi... i guess i had enough of him... not getting sick of him, but jus.. feel tat i duno wat he treat mi as..

dun feel tat he treating mi as frn at all... i duno how a frn shld formally be treated, but simply no feeling tat i his frn.. mroe to someone who can listen to his probs... yes, it's good tat he confide in mi... show he trust mi.. but i'd prefer a frn, rather than someone who say he trust mi. for 2 days, i been msging mi wif sms... but he never reply. even say he din get my sms. den on msn, i asked why he never reply, he say never get sms. den i immedaitely sms him. he replied. so? tat means?

so these days, when he msg mi, i gave him 1 liner reply.. ask mi anything, i reply short answers.. the fun replies i gave him previously no longer apply here.. he has not realised it yet.. alright... shall see how long it will last. if he fine wif mi short ans, well, he is not someone worth my frnship.

jus came back.. was hungry.. disappointed.. sad? duno

got a pay-cut.. as result, felt as though a reln is over. pretty hungry now... will rest b4 i decide wat to do next... including whether wanna go family take dinner anot

called my sis... strange.. she rej mi cal, den call mi instead, from her mobile as well.

she advised mi wat ot do... told mi tat, unless the cert so impt, die die must take.. if not, give it up, and work 2 wks, den go new coy...

in past, i'd have been EQ-declined.. but now, i guess, since it's corporate world, i shld listen to her instead... the java cos i taking.. i dunno if i will be able ot use it.. cos now i taking a job as helpdesk still onsite-cum-helpdesk. i dunno if will still ever go for java job anot... perhaps.. i dunno the destiny for mi?

by now, i shld learn.. even in work life, i shld not leave a bad record for myself... it certainly reflects badly on mi.. i asid myself in interviews tat, job is more impt than studies... but this time, i dunno liao... i quite persistent in taking it..

i dunno if i'm influenced by the morale here anot.. cos my colleagues all r the bochap attitude type in work... so i oso dun have any sense of belonging here. my sis did put herself in employer position.. as i did.. but jus conflict.. oni...

i jus hope tat new job is still there.. today still can go sign it.. n first of all, ensure my sup let mi go...

duno wat else to say liao... go lunch.

gosh... i sent my resig letter by email mah.. den today the company know liao... i den told my sup, he say since i send formal liao, he gonna stop mi from taking leave for my course... n stop my clearing of OFF oso... giving the reason tat no manpower. but darn! our work here is so lax... no calls at all.. n no manpower?? he say onsite shotage.. i say i not onsite. he den said, "i'll put u to onsite next wk". jus to make mi stay... liao...

i got new job, den curernt job, is dying.. but he wun let mi go.. laiozz.......... i know he got his own career to care.. but since the place is closing, y not jus let mi go??

i asked mi sis to call mi back.. getting her opinion. n in mean time, i decide liao,. no matter wat, i'll want to leave this place, if the new coy need mi tat much. cos if they cant wait, i dun wan to risk losing it. i can pay back.

jus JO alone before i went for dinner at family... din quite enjoy it.. jus wanna do it.. of cos wanna ppl come, but such last min honiness.. oni DIY can deal...

haizz.. nothing bad happened.. nothing tat bad happened.. jus tat.. every fri, will go to my office's pub to ktv.. den i thot tonight can go to sign contract, tmr can go the ktv. den turned out tat, the person no time, so tonight is off, tmr sign contract.. den now, not sure if can still go ktv anot... plan to start new job on 14 3 05...

ahhaah.. today i in charge of the email.. den nothing much.. oni keep on reading papers.. n waiting for time to pass..

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tat job called mi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i getting new job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

haha.. but strange lei.. the agency tat called mi is ABC, but then confirming the acceptance is DEF company... they say ABC is linked to dEF... but hor..........

the interesting fact is that, abt 2 yrs back, when i jus started out to find jobs, i went to DEF for interview.. tat time i still newbie in job hunting, den i wanna be truthful.. cos i was thinking.. or rather, maybe tat tiem i am 2 rash, n 2 naive, so the leader of the PACK.. i mean i told the leader abt mi.. saying, i will oni marry when in canada, cos there den accept homo union. he was stunned.. n startled. den no more news.

i told my net didi abt it, he qn'ed or maybe suan mi.. y i so truthful... ok.. now i know how to hide liaozz...

den this place.. now confirmed my job.. this time, this evening, if i go over, will i stil see that person? i wonder how will he react siazz.. but think again, this time, the person from DEF who confirmed wif mi is.. seems to be diff.. i dunno... i'll know this evenign hehe...

shit... had wanna write something.. but forgoteen wat's it..

never midn.. take my time to write... umm.. i dun think i wanna emphasize on who i advising.. would rather give a general advice...

sometimes, my page.. the server may take a bit of time to load.. sometimes... so, relax n wait for it? cos i actually see ppl going to my page directly, abt 2-3 times in a min..

OH!! 1 more thing. TODAY paper said 1 line. it's good. On 23 Feb 05, The cover page wrote: I've had enough of the politicking, the bias, and the accusing fingers being pointed in my direction every time the team does badly.

it reflect my thoughts too... sighzz.. working life..

ytday.. umm... hope writing this does not change my fate...

ytday was alright day.. den agency called mi to arrange interview, saying tat either ytday 5pm, or fri 3+ or soemthign.. den i ask to change ot next wk, cos i taking cos next week.. next week cna go interview anytime..

den the agency say wil check wif them.. haha.. den hor, they actually will be staying back. so.. NICE!!! can go after work.. n silently.. no need big hu-ha.. after work, immediately, rush to take bus.. but then.. kauzz.. the bus not here after 10 mins of waiting.. aiyo, dun wan b late.. so i jus took cab down.. no reimbursement siazz.. 11$.

n surprisingly, the person interviewing mi is my ex-colleague! wah.. he ask mi things.. n aske dmi for my expected $. i lowered loh... n said negotiable even.. sighzz... pathetic!! but he the oni one who asked mi expected. n he oso tested mi on my knowledge on windows.. like the file system.. hehe.. i know them by heart!! :D

den at the end, someone came down to ask abt IPv6. he kinda say dunno wat's tat.. when he left, i offered my knowledge.. den haha... he told mi more details.. den i comented, "oh, but we dun support tat" n he,.. i think smiled.. :)

jus b4 i left, he even said, if the agency offer mi something tat i dun like a lot... i can call him to discuss abt it.. so i guess most probably no prob?

den later, explored the area n walked slowly to my busstop. oh ya, the food there EX!!! den suddenly, while walking, i heard my name 1 time. i din bother.. den 2nd time, i turn over and saw my frn hehe.. logn tiem din chat wif him.. tok on our way hoem.. pretty cool...

at night, a US coy oso giving mi a phone interview... so waited at home.. they called. but hor, phone interview is really diff.. not so spontaneous... n it;s overseas call... sometimes reception not good.. not sure if they can hear mi properly anot... answering qns.. oso dunno if they really listening anot.. n their style is diff from wat i expect.... maybe it's phone interview.. or their US style. they ask some basic qns.. n pause here there...

in my thots, after hearing the way they speak, i wonder if i really wanna the job.. cos the way they speak, but if really got chance.. ok loh..

i hope the first one will be mine loh.. :) pray... i guess i give them till fri to confirm.. cos.. agency.. i think.. ya, they called on fri.. to say gonna send my resume over there.. den later.. abt 30 mins later, 1 lady called mi, saying she called on behalf of them... i din get the coy name, oni hear the on behalf.. haha.. dunno if they responded so fast siazz... but i was busy, so dropped the line. den i even called my agency... she was surprised.. n say will check for mi..

no response.. den wednesday, the agency called loh.. wah, 3 days to decide.. the coy oso ask when i'm available.. earliest. i told them... some winded story.. den i sumamrised for them. will be available anytime once they need mi for the job... will at most pay them the cash in lieu. upon hearing them, i kinda relieved... n inrterview carried on... :) PRAY HARD!

*time to check hits log!*

hehe.. pretty glad that, my fridae finally got loads of hearts returned!!

well, so.. my hits counter is here, but invisible... and i can see where did my visitors come from... be it country, or wat webpage they came from.. due to this, i was kinda refered to the page they came from too..

surprisngly, i saw some countries which i.. am surprised got ppl logging in places i din expect.. hehe.. i'm please.d.. ciao..

jus visited this page... http://amyonswana.blogspot.com/

caught it by chance... the songs there pretty sad...

left a coment there oso... WAH!!... can dun-let ppl post as anonymous 1 ah??? wah liao.. how i wish i know who posted there... but well, some ppl prefer to protect their identity.. ok loh...

but if u got userid in blgospot, login oso lei!!! as urself :)

well, i guess i stil prefer to be truthful.. even though... some ppl may be so DETERMINED to remain anonymous.. whcih i DUN HOPE!!!!

ok, as i mentioned b4, i got a hits counter liao.. now, i got a new one.. whch.. the hits counter is invisible.. cos i dun need tat.. but i jus wanna chk where aer my visitors from.. and how they got here..

from the few days.. after i post my blog at sgboy, ppl did visit my site (kaypoh?), saw wat kinda boring place is it liao, den finally left it (tat y i say kaypoh :P) oso got some who.. i dunno how they got my website, they from overseas... den directly jumped to my site... kinda flattered by this :) n oso.. some ppl using other than IE as browser... haah... r they IT ppl? in my impression, oni IT ppl will care to use "non-mainstream" browsers...

i'll cut out the grumbling.. although i've thot abt it liao.. it's my blog.. i use it to say watever i wanna say... so tat when ppl no time to tok wif mi, but can surf to here, can still ifnd out abt mi... so, my grumblings at least will tell them wat problem n issues i facing.. my blogs do not oni carry my happy n fun times.. but shld oso be a place where i "confide" in..

roommate msg mi... finally he learnt his lesson... to msg mi when his frn go over... but 2 bad... too late to repent liao... i told him... he gonna move out by mth end, so no point informing mi anymore, i dun have to know.

now really kinda 2 free i guess... low morale at work, no luck at job hunting, no chemistry wif colleagues... i gues they all added up to my not-keen-to-work attitude at work... tat y.. now i often update my diary.. but i dunno lei... am i writing to much nonsense?

cos in past, i write wat happen to my life.. now... i got so much free time tat i seem to be writing wat i jus thot abt.. or even killing my time by writing here... am i grumbling? maybe.. writing outta boredom? could be...

umm.. anyway, ytday, for the loss of tat aj frn who tok my frnship for granted, i asked my female frn for advice.. hers n my thnking, and ... ok my 2 close frns.. both say i dun have to care so much abt him anymore.. i'm still a bit touchy on tis issue cos.. i know him for 2-3 yrs liaozz... den now, he bochap mi.. n accuse mi some more...

ok, i'll b sending those 2 frns a gift.. a parting gift... a meaningful parting gift to mi.. done outta sincerety... who knows.. i may jus join them in perth when i'm done here...

at work, i simply cant focus much... nvm... enuff of grumbling...

last night, i oso went home.. and dinner not ready, so i took my dog down... getting into downstair life.. the feeling is pretty good.. i din get this feeling tat time, but right now, i getting the feel tat... life has not ended... i still need to progress... m i 2 pessimis?

n ya, i felt some kind of warmth when i was down there with my dog.. like.. i back to where my protection is...

dunno if the topless boys playing basketball there helped anot...

jus met up wif another of my close frn... watever it is.. we can always chat up a few lines... i appreciate that lotsa..

had a chatty conversation with her... n that kinda brightened up.. my day/evening/nite.. watever...

she came over here for net... n to think... i originally wanna sleep liao.. den suddenly she came over.. n right now, this hr i still so awake...

true, a close frn of mine ever mentioned, nothing beats a nice chat.. or soemthing like dat...

jus borrowed a loan hp again from a poly frn.. nice of her... always helpful... jus now, she even stayed on the platform, waiting to pass hp to mi.. well, i was waiting downstair.. ready for a catching up.

soehow.. i feel tat, the sudden departure of my gd frns to overseas... is hurting n depressing mi by a lot... making mi a loner by no choice of mine... of cos.. i can try to make more frns right now.. but wa'ts the pt? despo? eager to know more people? i dunno.. at least wait till i get back my hp...

eager to know more ppl to go out wif? i dunno... i guess most probably.. i'll stay home to read up on my java... n be a loner for some time to come./. perhaps to think n plan for my future.. i dun believe i'll be stuck in helpdesk...

so bored tat i nearly developed a headache... anyway.... wah liao.. w/o my t630, i so lonely..

but it oso kinda showed 1 pt.. few ppl bother to call or sms... why....

alright... i seldom called out... n usually hang around wif my closer frns... den 1 frn... ya, lost contact purposely by both parties... den now, nowhere to go, n my t630 not wif mi.. cant find ppl go out... if i were to get my t630 back, will i adore it?

right now, life is pretty much a bore.... so much tat... nothing interesting to write here...

suddenly feel so... free... and sianzz... cos totally nothign to do...

was reading papers 1/2 way... den installing a new hit counter... n wanna write blog.. liaozz.. am i really so free?

wah liao... i dun feel so good.. a master who i know during CNY eve... i like him from that day... den i told him abt it few days later.. he oso said he like mi.. but can't commit as he attached. den i say i fell for him liao.. he say dun scare him.. cos he said he attached lioa.. at least must wait till his bf say break, den he break, cos his bf had wanted to be together.

den today, he chatted wif mi.. n said someone asked him out, and was so keen on him that his someone (Elder) kept claling my master "dear".. a word that master forbids mi to call... and some reserved words as well.. cos those are used by his bf... but Elder kept calling this.. till master oso started to address him in this way..

i was alright...

until, master shed some light on Elder's background... and said Elder got into some trouble.. master wnana help.. but lost the contact of an influential frn. n master ask if i know of any1 who can help... i immediately felt that my master is truly keen on this Elder...

this is when i felt something BAD...i can't describe it.. i did not lose any battle;was i feeling despondent? dun think so;feeling sad? no; perhaps i jus felt that.. master treated someone better than he did me.. i met master first... n told him abt my liking first... but nothing happened...

den Elder came in, was persistent in calling names... my master had a liking for him as well... told him the limits.. but thigns still went on... n they even did more things than i did (sighzzz.. dunno y... need to control my... tears... from squeezing into my eyes)

well, i dun wan to affect his mood in helping him.. so din tell him how i felt (sighzz.. i seem to feel another heartbreak inside of mi..) jus listened to his woes... n even though i feel like... if i advise master further, i helping my rival.. but i still decided to help.. at a neutral POV... dun care whether i'm trying to help master, help Elder or whoever... i'm only offering my advice... to anyone who bother to trust mi. n believe in wat i say.. at least know there's some truth in wat i say, n not kids tok...

i oredi told him.. i like him liao.. since he (somehow... once again, controlling my tears.. my gosh.. how many times lioa?!) is keen on Elder.. dun thnk i shld spoil it.. gd guys are hot stuff anyway... i shan't say i like him again.. i mean, in teasing manner ok.. but not those serious qns questioning wat he take mi as...

i like him.. umm.. is it fate? i met him on CNY eve, den like him.. den right ont he next working day (fri), i "lost" my hp.... unable to contact him at all... msn saw him, but we both working, so hard to tok.. den i din bother asking him for his nubmer.. was thinking if he'll contact mi.. never did he.. at most online tok wif him..

den he jus told mi something bad happened between him n bf.. i wanna chat up wif him today (sunday).. but antoher thing happened... to his grandma... so the meet is off... later, he said he met his Elder.. for a chat... i guesss these are fate (yuan)?

argh!! i tink i'm realyl kinda tired and sianz from looking for jobs while i;m working...

yesterday, went to sentosa there.. took the monotram.. den a group of bangladesh ppl came onboard... 1 guy was sitting oppiste mi... my frn was beside mi.. den this bang guy, he often peeped at us./.. den.. accidentally, or purposely, when the door opened, his hands slipped from the door, n his fingers touched my knee cap.. i immediately coughed loudly...

he was scared... stood up, and asked his frns if shld go down.. den he sat down... i told my frn to give mi more space...

den i sat in an executive posture.. corssing my leg.. ie... at such angle that, my foot is pressing onto tat bang's space... he tried to move his legs to get more space, but i din budge...

kauzz... wat else can i do?? if he at least apologised, i'm alrgiht, but i dun expect him to... if he understand my language, i guess i'll exclaim wat happened, n sia sway him..

am i so bored... tat i have so much time to write blogs here n there?

morning, woke up.. .din wish to go family for bfast.. too rush.n need to call my frns for help... so i bought 3 buns for bfast... went home, ate them... n from then till now, i din take anything else hehe... oh well.. i think i'm bored... while hunting for jobs...

just thot of writing this...

as jus now i was hunting for my frns' numbers on my sim card, when they ask wat i need hp.. i had wanna tell them truth.. but in end, i told them wat i told my family.. hp sent for servicing..

i told a lie... is it so hard to tell truth? do i want to carry on my lies?

i guess.. it's more to... i dun wan to complicate matters.. so tell lie is alright..

hey, wat happened to my counter???

suddenly.. felt like writing how saturday was again... did not feel like writing it previouslyl.. dunno y... it's chingay day, but dun feel it's a celebration for mi...

anyway, jus now, recv a call from frn.. wah liaozz.. i was ironing clothes in living rm... den hear the hp ring.. i pause dmy irnoning, n went back into my room... somehow, i'm wondeirng why the ringing tone sound so clear n loud even at a distance (from room to living). i got into room, thinking where is my hp.. den, i felt vibration in my pocket..

kau!!! the hp is in my pocket!!! yet i rush in... oh my... (my oh my...)

umm.. i reaise tat, after putting my blog addy into my signature in sgboy, wah, the (nosey-poker) guys just came over to look hhaha.. oops... gonna save cranberries' songs into my pc...

if those ppl, think tat my blog got pix of guys... haha.. not possible... dun feel like sharing ym collection online...

frn asking to get back the loan set hp.. den starting scouring around for possible loan sets... so jialuts...

i think in future, not only muz backup contacts in PC, but oso muz keep a spare hp... cos those spare ones tat frn provide... may not b tat ez to use...

a frn who i am givign up hope on... has called mi ytday.. upon knowing who he is, i hang up. i really dun wan to bother myself to care abt him anymore. den this morning, he msg mi on msn. i oredi deleted him liao. so i closed his msgr. but now, i decided to give him a chance to explain himself clearly.. and properly...

when i sent him my LAST msg, why din he reply? i told him, it'll be my last msg. he din bother to reply. did he think i'm joking? if my tone in tat msg sounds joking, den how shld i make it damn serious?

so, now i ask him to explain why he dun bother to reply my last msg, he say he's busy. YEAH RIGHT. huh? busy till he dun even bother to care abt how serious i am? alright, i shan't bother. n jus now... he even claimed tat i deleted his number... gosh... well, i dun wan bother to explain... perhaps our fate as frn cant be prolonged further and is destined to end earlier than i thot...

our frnship stood for quite a few yrs... but after he went over to his tanj pag's frn house.. he has changed his attitude. everything. wel, since he's such a good boy to his frn, and ignore my feeelings, do i still want him? to think i took him as a good frn... well, all thigns has to part?

den last night, my frn came over... she updated her blog from my computer (wanna use my BB lah). from our talk, we stil got something in common. cos, she told mi.. someone who broke her heart even after breaking up with her, wanna make up. she felt nothing towards tat guy liao... and jus wnna a clean break. she dun even wanna have anything to do with him liaozz...

this part.. is similar to mi... my clem ex-date (although he dun wan to use this word)... i also told him str8 tat, after all his doings, he is the first one who i dun wanna ever be with him anymore. he simply hurt mi too much. he does not give even a damn to how i think n feel. keep saying, "even if i cared, we stil are breaking up" after he suggested a break. hey man, if u tried harder, it wun happen. enuff abt my deep thots of the past...

ju wnana say, a frn shld not be so hurting to know. i have totally given him up.

hehe... had a prtty nice singout evening... but oni mi there.. dunno the ppl.. sang quite a number, but i not darign still express still...

the major who sent mi home, still quite cute.. his voice.. :)

check my visitor stats. more ppl visiting liao.. ehhe...

jus now.. kidna learned tat... umm.. i mean, i at least "learn" how to defned myself.. so tat i wun b blamed for problems...

cos jus now, someone wanna reset his password.. den i thot.. he wanna reset password for his acct... in the end, did wrogn thigns... but i told the user diff story, pushing the blame to him.. den later he came down again.. this time, i realise her story is confusing.. n decided.. tat i can push anythign wrong to her.. claiming tat her things quite complex...

jus tis morning... inn 1 hr, got so many things to tok abt.. bitch, u can say....

umm sighzzz.. jus got scolding from my boss.. sighzzz...

ok.. morning, i was as normal going to work.. den, i walk.. some 2 slim ladies walking in front of mi.. but they.. wah, blocking the way... as though the space so big for 2 more ppl to walk.. so i was behind them, n exclaimed "SORRY!" haha... a bit rude lah.. but bobian, ppl rushing for work, den they blocking way..

den after this, 5 metres ahead, got 3 other ppl walking... 1 woman was almost beside mi.. den she like wanna overtake mi, but taking such a long time to... i was looking at her, she peeped back.. but din move at all.. jus same speed as mi.. TRYING hard to overtake... wah liao, i jus walked faster to overtake... i think she nearly stepped onto my shoes..

den while queueing for bus, got grp of 3 ppl standing at tat area chatting.. kauzz.. can't ppl be more courteous and find a better place to chat? fancy blocking ppl by standing there..

later on the bus... umm... someone dropped his papers (sheets) n i volunteered to pick it up.. good manners.. ehhe... den i read from the papers (newspaper).. tat govt is encouraging ppl to pick up malay as 3rd language.. i am happy... but why shld he push?? it's normal tat diff races know only their own languages. why do they want non-chinese to learn malay? after knowing china is expanding, they encouraging us to re-learn chinese.

now, cos the disaster, they wanna us to learn malay?? why?? i dun think i shld see much increase in no of students for the language, cos... if they are keen, why must they be pushed?

sighzzz... den toking abt my work... sianzz... feel so lonely now.. hp not wif mi.. no 1 sms mi to go out... my close frns all leaving for Oz... for better or worse? i dunno...

n my hp was caught.. ok.. den i actually not scared at all.. dunno y... feel tat, i shld take everything in my stride... 'cos i got nothing to lose?

anyway.. now 12.40 liao.. off for lunch...

wahhaah.. was checking on my hits stats... wah... someone got referred to here via other ppl's blogs.. but i cant find the link lei... from there... den i din realise my webpage will turn up as well, if ppl search those xxx words.. LOL

umm... ok.. dun wan write a new entry for it... right now, w/o my hp.. i feel lke i d/c fromt the worl dlioa.. can only find ppl online.. or those nubers i still remember... it makes mi isolated n lone... but i can liev with it.. save mopney oso not bad... but have to b passive.. wait for ppl to initiate...

jus read in the papers that... http://www.todayonline.com/articles/35224.asp

sighzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

felt like... like those singers... some actors.. my career has reached a bottleneck... everyday been idling on my job... nothing to do.. so sianzz.. so boring.. i even wonder if it's a wrong move to come into govt... shld have gone into pte coys? where the tech will be more advanced?

nvm... jus blabbering...

finally back to work.. shall see if anything happen today...

just sent out resumes again.... so damn tiring...

last night, suddenyl thot of not going work for today... dunno y.. morale for this job SO LOW.

den morning, realyl din work... told office i taking OFF... so morning, planned tt will go swim, den come home use PC, den go interview...

at my poool, VELI few ppl... got 1 guy in blue trunks... swim quite good... den somehow i n him going same direction quite often.. he den started to avoid it haah.. but in water, i can see he's TANNED, and seem to ahve a good body.

den came a couple... of guys.. they were staying at a corner.. am i sensitive? cos seem like 1 guy is peeping at mi at times... but as usual, nothing happened...

den i went home... to my surprise... i heard an extra voice in my room, other than roomate's. my roommate den came out, surprised, n explained tat his bf is here for a while n going off soon. i really felt... there' s nothing else for mi to do. i showed my middle finger at him.

tat was the only non-verbal and non aggressive response i can think of. i dun wanna say anything else. i dun wan lose temper. he was startled too.

den i went into room, n ordered his bf outta room. i was thnking wat i shld do next. i den told him openly, tat i wanna him move out by 1 mar. i told him wat i feel, n why i doing all these... fancy 5 times of bringing frn (singular) home, he oni told mi once. n tat is after i warned him n he msg mi when his frn camr back.

he got nothing to say... so i told him... leave by 1st mar./

he was holding back his emotions. i can see that. i told him no negotiations possible, and i wun soft hearted once again. it's even my fiers ttime to show my middle finger. he forced me. he din treasure the chances. so be it.

den... i confiemd my interview.. n went for it... den somehow... i mean... i was jotting down the address. den i left the pen on some papers... den i was abt to leave, i realise my hp dun have the cover liao... i den searced for it... wah iao.. last min cannot find?? den suddenly, i hear the paper flip over, after the pen was pushed off...probably by fan? i turned back, n saw my pouch...

COOL...

it jus appeared?!

i think it';s some lucky omen..

nevertheless i went ofr my late lunch, n off i went to the interview.. everything was alright.. a tthe place... strange... i was there, and feeling warm.. so i walked around.. perhaps i looked around too much.. the SO there got suspicious n trailed mi.. den i jus walked into the room... and waited 40 mins for my turn.

during the wait, wah liao, i suddenly become the recption... cos got 2 groups of ppl outside, waiting for mi to eopn the door haha.. no prob, opened it.

den finally my turn. everythign i answered properly... but suddenly i was asked... wat s/w was used for hellping the users.. damn it... in my place, nothign was used!! his qns... i almost dun have any answer... my master suggested i say things like "i can pick up fast" but wat's the pt?? the guy din even say the salary stuff.. nothing at all.. n returne dme my resume n certs.

i think gone case... but normally... such gone case sometime mean good thing.. cos some jbos tat i had, i dun have any confidence in getting it... but ended up getting.

this job i holding now, they din mention anything abt pay.. i even fedback to agency tat dun think this job have hope.. but in end, this job called mi, giving me my highest salary ever..

dunno.... jus keep looking... if not, go pub sing for allowance, or think of some biz ideas?

umm... having lost my hp... now, having problem contacting my frns... relying on msn/icq, yahoo... jaluts

registering for stats counter... this pic is quite cute.. not in the cutesy pie sense... but it gives a nice feeling... a sense of belonging to?

din realise tat... my msn.. from first time use... till now..or rather first time resistant to it... till now... having 30 ppl on my list... ahha..

been having no luck in my interviews... so damn sianzzz.... sensing another downtime...

wondering.. is it a hint for mi to break out of employee fate? try to setup own biz? my blog.. somehow is pretty popular... at least i think it is.. some anonymous ppl do read it, but dun wish to leave any trails... haha...

or.. shld i actually visit some pubs or something, n offer to sing there to earn more? to branch out to wat i love to do?

but where can i go? i guess such things need intro? or shall i... take my courage (or some phrase like this) and go around asking if they looking for ppl to sing? umm.. do i sound over cnfident?? such places, if i dun rmb wrong, usually need a band to go along... cos... who will be playing the music??

gosh..........

anyway, jus watched 1/2 fate... a ch 8 show.. chris lee looks better here in fact... but how come.. such shows always revolve around gers? not guys??

really duno where my career lies liao...

is my career luck really so down???

been sending resumes on n off for quite some time.. den no hope yet.. shld i break from my It line, and go find other jobs instead? those tat totally not my cuppa???

prettytiring......

when night falls.. still topless??

frontal chest.. handing wooden spike over

stunt! cool!!

first topless pic of anime commander

wah liao.. had a hard time at work today siazz... all the ppl are not cooperative siazz... work till ike hell... but i enjoy it.. cos at least i'm moving.. not stagnant. wat's more 2 guys made my day hehe..

now waiting for 6pm to come...

went to visit my mum's relatives... i thnk tat wil be the last CNY visit. i found tat i'm not kinda... more able to chat up wif ppl liaozz... at least i no longer stay at 1 corner... toked to my cousin... ahah.. den my "master" came back, n msged mi haha.. my loan hp dun have his ... hehe got something to say.. this part i cut short... i addressed him as Sir haha...

haha.. jus now, got 2 super guys come in.. 1 guy is cute.. his nsf pic was ok... or < avg.. but his face now is cute hahah... den jus now he face lotsa problems, i helped him.. he happy.. den i shook his hands too.. hahaha.. he's 24 this yr...

den... another guy came in.. COOL!!! he's a macho guy!!!! i really was attracted to his body siazz!!! i kept asking abt his body.. wow, his chest is 40++, his waist 30... wah liaozz.. beefcake!! he takes carbo in morning, n protein at night... n goes to gym since 19... sec sch batch... been gym'ing 4-5 times/wk... wah...

his uniform really.. i mena his muscles are really squeezing thru his uniform siazz.. his sleeves almost cant contain his arms... GOSH.... heheh his name is LIM HONG KOON hehe...

but sianzz... today, every1 at work, got their own kakis.. making it almost... i on myself... sianzz...

was checking wat i shld b updating to my blog.. den realise there is a s/w tat has a nude guy.. den i went to download tat first haha...

ok... on friday itself, i was totally disconnected from the world. no sms, no calling, no recollection of numbers. All are kept in my hp... dni upload to net at all... sighzz... come home... phew!!! my net is still working~!!

i den went to family there... no hp to use... sianzz.. lied to family tat hp sent for svc, n no loan hp liao.. went home, changed my msn to inform every single person, on my list, tat i looking for loan hp.. aiyo... no 1 got...

at last, someone found a not-so-good- hp to lend mi.. ok, better than none... arranged to meet next day... on saturady ie...

den hor..... wah liazz... waited for 1 hr.. she not there yet.. i was thinking, was she trying to get back at me... for letting her wait for > 1 hr some time back...

holding my SIM card, got 1 group of youngsters... i approached the guys, ask if they waiting for frn (yes), asked if can use their hp with my SIM card (ok loh). wah, tat boy is using t610. they are just boys.. dun quite appeal to mi... den i use the hp... trying my best to find tat frn's no...

got 4 new msgs coming in... i ignored them. none of my biz.. since i using the guy's hp... called my frn, no ans.. sms her i meeting her at mc... n i rmb'ed her number for safety. i returned my hp.. the guy was at a loss of wat to do... den rmb'ed tat he need ot take out SIM card./.. den i left, his ger-frn den exclaimed a "happy new yr". i din bother to turn back.. they luffed... haha...

den, half hr later, she still not here.. i called her, she jus woke up. den hr hr later,still not there... sianzz... i leave a missed call... den later she got there... KAUZZ!!!

she made up to mi, by giving mi treats hehe... GOSH!!! i just rmb'ed.... when i used my sim to call it actually my msg!!!! i lost 4 msgs!!! she den teased mi.. she wonder wat will the guy think...

we den watched movie... constantine... oh well, i bet she'll feedback her opinions of the movie... wat inspiration it gave her... for mi, it's 1 tat i enjoy the suspense, n the unique storyline. but at certain parts, still like matrix... like... he went ot seek MN's help... but this show.. so focus on xtianity!!!

oh ya... when we buy movie tix, the counter staff look like those tough guy... LOL... at the food court, i keep my eyes on 1 beng :P

after the show, there goes my morning. 1.5 hrs spent on waiting..............

haha... she did ask mi, wat time is the movie.. i told her, "i dunno, cos i left home early"

umm... when the show end, Keannu was willing to give up his life for the twin sis. so satan took him. cos it's self sacrifice.. instead of going hell, he went heaven.. satan argued in futile. keannu even show the midd fing. den satan grabbed him back, n gave him more years to live.

my frn thot it's despicable... i dunno who she referring to... but i think satan was right.. keannu was despicable... ahah...

den later in evening.. i dunno why.. i was quite tired at 6pm liao.. had wanna take dinner first, but i think after dinner may not want to sleep... den woke at 11pm... hahah... decided to do my things... irc ppl dun wan go supper... so i went myself... there got a boy dressed my blue long sleeve shirt... n 3/4. poor thing... eating alone... if he's wearing plain, ok... but he was dressed up./..

after supper, i stayed up till 6am haha.. den went to bed... tried use lubricating gel on my body,.. but it dun help much... oh well, i am not suited for it...

(wah, i seem to be dumping all my thots here at 1 go...)

my frn was still pretty blur how she helped mi.. or taught mi anything.. oh well.. will quote her egs in time to come... i owe my maturity ngrowing up to 2 close frns.. who gonna leave for Oz in < 2 short wks....

somehow, i feel tat, i'm not fated to be a cruiser on the public. i'm not into such sex... thus, i dun hav the skills to check if they are into mi, or even gay anot... to mi, mere looking, and enjoying the glances is good enuff... nothing has to happen.

anywya, i'm glad to find 2 new frns from internet... 1 is master from start.. other is.. a frn-turn master haha..

but my net is down now.. cant update......... argh... jus emailed Pacnet on this.. they ask mi check something..

wow, this show.. the camp commander is a young and macho guy... (as all cartoons do)... cool... later, i'll upload the pic...

and now. i drinking tiger beer bought at airport, during my Oz trip... and eating peanuts.. am i old visually???

During CNY, Channel 5 had a telecast of Mulan, the English adaption of the Chinese ancient story. I taped it down and am watching it now.

The opening scenes, which Mulan was trying very much to be herself (read: not a typical soft girl), and being filial to her family (read: marrying a male to bring honour to her family), somehow is reflecting me, or maybe even our mentality. Or perhaps situation.

Some of us don't have a chance to be ourselves. For fear of something. She also wanted to be herself. But there was no such a chance. As it would probably disgrace her family in the olden days. Finally the chance came, when the emperor conscripted her father for service. And she, to protect her family and father, took the chance to do soemthing for her family.

She was trying to persuade her father not to go for it, but she failed. In the end, she went for service on his behalf.

I'm pretty touched by all these. I'm not sure how to put it, but she sure did soemthing for her family.

My close friends have taught me (with themselves unaware of it) how to be a good friend, and be a friend in need. Now, whenever friends that are worth my assistance need my help, I will surely offer it. If I'm unable to, I will probably feel sad.

When I saw that Mulan was down cos she failed to persuade her dad not to join the army, I felt her sadness....

hurrying home later...

had wanna not to go online at all.. cos may be stuck n dun wan go family.

jus borrowed a hp from a frn... hehe charging it..

wish mi luck for my loanset hp...

went home.. to find spare hp.. wah liao.. nothing to use...

sianzz... thinking of buying new 2nd hand hp to use... but.. will it b kua zhang?? jus for the period of time, i wanna buy a 2nd hp?

i checked that horoscope... amei... is having a bad time... n got some -ve news abt her...

den syz... she got career obstacles... hehe..

den for mi... it say, i will be unhapp with fixed hours work, and fixed work arrangement.. n unable to think out of box jobs.. quite true.. i begin to enjoy shift work..

umm... jus download a freeware, and din realise it came along with a sample pic of a dude! in swimwear on the beach ie...

haha.. toking abt thursday liaoz...

so.. wednesday... i tok to frn til late hor? oh ya, we arranged to meet up thur evening again.. i had wanna ask him to join mi for movie, but he dun, citing personal reasons... ok loh... so i woke up 8+.. haha.. in order not to be late, i put alarm to wake mi up. but wah liao.. so tiring... i still forced myself to prepare.. cant b there too late... if not, may b late for the meeting in late nn...

den mi... actuallt wanna try taking a long dist bus to frn place.. but scared will b too long, so din bother. this movie place.. my frn quitea good host... the meal was the best meal i ever took there siazz... braised mushroom with chicken.

watched the show there.. n chatted a bit.. he told mi my ex-frn did call him to watch movie.. but he teased.. n my ex frn gave up n stopped contacting him... aha.. i din bother... den later, i went back...

he is there waiting for mi... oh ya, i msged my roommate abt it... i think he did come home...

when he is here, we had lotsa fun.. for a continuous 6 hrs... hahah.. so fun n interesting.. no rushing.. everything in our own sweet time.. kinda like enjoying every single bit of time..

n u knowat? he turn out to be a master.. in some ways... hhha... i used some SM on him.. pretty much for fun oni.. den he was quite reluctant to show his tricks.. but, somehwo i still managed to show mi his tricks :)

heeh.. in the past, when my female close frn persuaded mi to tell soemthign which i din wan to tell, she will giggle in victory.. now i understand how she feel.. cos its like, after (some) short persuasion, ppl actaully succumbed to it hahah...

now i'm doing it too hehe...

but originally, he seme ot have problem "enjoying" himself... n so i din wnana do it oso.. but later... he was pretty keen still... n he DID it!! so, i oso showed him LOL ... very vaguely written? tat's the point!!

cool.. so many hours of fun haha...

well, he was dressed properly in those CNY attire... which look so diff from my home wear haha.. den we went for dinner... tok cork... n later sent him home..

n i still went hoem for dinner LOL.. big appetite hor?

wah liao, den later, my close frn called mi for help,... wah liao.. called twice... abt laptop... den when i met up wif her.. gosh... she's feeling VERY down...

from my years of knowing her, it my 2nd time to see her in this way. tok'ed to her.. n not sure that's consoling her, or merely helping her to see the situation clearer... we toked n joked till 1+... she slept there... after much persuasion,... but... she's a ger.. so, as common sense say, nothing happened. :D

ahha.. i jus changed my fridae pic!!

on wednesday, woke up .. had wanna use my time to check how to crack a fun game!! but then.. need to go back family to prepare visitng relatives, so din have enuff tiem.. den.. a frn inviting mi over to watch a movie... well, had thot will go visit relative quite early... den. some time late nn will over liao.. but end up, go relative there oni at 3pm like dat.. so late...

umm.. my dress code this yr.. i wanna piece 2 clothes together for a new design.. wah liao, pretty humid siazz.. but mi is ok wif warm weather, but will freeze in cold one LOL.. den when got there, they having some lion dance n jus started. the players.. those young n matured tyep.. btwn 16 to almost 30 i think.. some highlight hair.. well, 1 look enuff liao.. they dun appeal...

wah liao.. i veli paiseh siazz... cos... ok ,in my office pub, n discos, i drink those vodka n beer in jug.. quite ok... den here, i drank 1 tiger beer... my face totally red!!! i even felt warm n dizzy siazz!!!!!!!!

so paiseh..............................

after tat, went off to visit aunt... played the piano - "he xin nian" :)

den we left for home.. n i went home oso.. mum asked if i wanna overnight at home.. nope, i go my place sleep better...

den ahah... i called my frns to tok.. den tok'ed so much siazz... tok for a few hrs... cos my net is down.. so muz tok on hp...

ya we can click, so somehow, i am getting interested in him liao... he oso on my msn...

well, gone a aj gerly ger of 3 yrs, n now i got a nice frn wif mi.. not a bad deal...

oh... a kid frn had wnana to tok to mi.. but not much time.. haha.. oops...

anyway, back-tracking my blogs...

on tuesday... i din arrange anythign at all for the day... CNY period... after knocking off, simply went home took my meal... din plan anything cos dun wan go out. go out sure spend $$.

so was thinkin of sstaying home to send resumes, and read book n watch movie at home or something.. even a slave who i wnana meet... is overseas...

den i went irc to cruise hehe,...

got 1 str8 guy... 1 guy wif nice bod... 1 fan of mine, and 1... plump looking guy.

the str8 guy... say he wana have fun with guys... tok with him... he say pretty keen.. to explore the body.. den he say he wanna know someone first b4 committing... ok.. i gave him my number, but he never called...

den... the guy wif nice bod.. ask for my face pic, i pointed him to fridae.. he den sent mi a small normal pose pic... wah liao... den ignore mi totally.. i actually prefer nott o send mi any pic at all siazz... so insincere of him to send such pic..

den 1 fan of mine... he acutally folowed mi all the way from my defunct? website to my blog here.. wah... few yrs oredi siazz... ehhe.. i had wanna ask him to come my place for chit chat to kill time, but he dun wan...

den lastly, is the plump looking guy.. we chatted quite alright... den he showed his face pic.. well, tat pic... ok loh... no impression... den he showed mi his naked pix.. ok.. i was kinda turned on... cos got some meat and flesh to play with... but he was quite resistant to come over cos he say he busy with tidying up his place.. haha...

but i kept teasing n challenging him.. saying he lost a chance to meet up.. haha...n sorts of thigns... den suddenly, he say he's coming!! haha... n will take a cab to rush down.. cos later he rushing back for reunion diner as well.

when he got over... he actually look better than his pix.. den he came into my room... hehe.. quite alright mah... we chatted a bit ... n he began touchy wif mi haha.. n he kinda horny oso haha.. den.. we proceed with our normal usual fun session ahah... but well... jus tat he seem like dun wan cum... although he say he came in morning haha... den when all thigns are done n we finished... he took a cab home... n ya, he say i look betttetr than my fridae oso :)

later we rushed home... all along,, i been waiting for the str8 guy to msg mi.. but he din.. den ok loh.. not my loss anyway.. this reminds mi of soemone who hang himself high high to sell...

jus cos i say that person sounds sexy, he say he got a price now, n he is hot stuff.. alright then, he can be as high as he want, but I won't fall for it.

umm.. oh ya, when tat plump guy came over, oso took some pic... quite interesting...

umm is slept quite early on tuesday.. at near 12, i heard some fireworks... i guess they celebrating CNY. i gonna sleep.. denn 12.47, tat plump guy called... haha.. i am sleepign siazz...

damn it... since a few days back, i kinda feel tat the CNY (rooster) may be a good 1 for mi.. cos... during the first 2 days, i got to know of a new frn who is quite nice.. n clickable. den 1 kid frn oso chatted with mi (for catching up)... n a sec frn who i am pissed with... and who is a good frn of mine for years .. at least 10 yrs... oso called up for a reunion meal at his house...

den tis morning, i actually forgot to take mywork pass along... had to change..... i even thot of going back hoemt o get it.. but wha liao.. so troublesome... den decided not to get. den my hp was detected at the sentry oso.. sianzz... i wnana put inside locker, but they say gonna send to msd for checking.. oh well.....................

duno wat gonna happen oso...

they say around 3 days later ,will return mi... sighzz....

i was thinking... if i actually bring my pass along, will it still happen?? dunno... such fate stuff hard to say... but wah liao... dunno wat to say...

wah say... got 1 day's hearts haven return yet... everyday it like racing to return hearts before they overflow the 100 limits... sighzz..

n no time to write my diary at all.. hope today have time :)

ummm.. am i getting old, or simply.. too tired of the annual celebrations? ya suposed to be a celebration among frns oso.. but when it comes to spending money.. i'm pretty cautious these days...

or.. cld oso be tat... my close frns arent going for fun... my sec n poly frns din cal mi.. so i... did not bother too. anyway, not 2 bad to stay home for a quiet day.. go out will spend $$ whcih i.. dun need to.. can maybe gather some ppl .. a couple at most, to my place for some holiday fun :P

why i sound so despo these days???

wah liao.. this morning.... wat a GOOD START. cos.. i felt cold, woke up at 6 to get the blanket. den i saw someone else sleeping in my room. i was stunned for a moment... den i felt angry, and pissed. i checked my hp. roommate msg mi at 3.47am his bf confirmed at 12 he'll be coming over. i was sleeping, so he din informed mi.

KAUZ!! confirmed?? den... since i going to sleep, y he never tell mi b4 hand??? he cna always tell mi before i sleep.. hsi bf may come over. wat's he doing now???

when i woke up, i shouted in the room tat i not happy with him. bringing someone home suddenly w/o telling, and den his rent din pay oso. huh? he still pretend to sleep.

his bf woke up, and stayed up. cos i was ranting. i ask him to sleep more, cos rommate sure wun wake so early...

yesteryda.. took some time to go interview... n u know wat?

I FORGOT WHO I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FOR AT THE INTERVIEW.. den the agency nubmer, is with the loanset hp, i din keep the agency's namecard.. den online ad dun have their number oso.. liao!!! but somehwo i remember the name is "patr.." someting. my frn suggested patrick or patricia. ya i know.. but... so paiseh...

finally ,when time to go, i took cab there.. took oni 15 mins siazz.. fast... den i got there.. i was kinda paiseh.. but i told them "i lost my hp" n lost the number of the agency.. haha... got 3 ppl... 1 normal size, 1 fatso, n mi. the fatso is for same job. i know 'cos the HR ger came out, called for kelvin... we responded. den she said, "Kel" not "Ke".. haha.. ok..

den when my turn came.. i followed her in.. got 2 more guys inside... HR ger tok abt salary things.. 1 guy in charge of the timing arrangment.. 1 guy i/c of the workload or something like dat..

i duno y./.. seem like nowadays, my interview skills or my interpersonal skills at interview is getting better.. better till i cant determine if the result is good anot... cos the past few interviews, if i feel there isn't hope, i'll get the job.

but the job this tiem, last interview thot oso can get job.. but no news. den this time, somehow i can tok to the ppl n make them feel at home... n i can at least joke with them... they 1 time got say "customer wil come for repair, den will not be back" i replied "hopefully" with a grin. even the other 2 smiled or giggled.

n watever they say, i can kinda respond to them in a proper manner.. like y i defer my studies... but when they ask y my pes status... that i cant ans.. i gave them some unprepared answers... when they ask mi i prefer onsite or helpdesk, i oso gave proper ans.. when they ask y i going into electronic, when i taking IT cos, i replied properly oso.. when ask abt shiftwork vs office hr, i replied oso.. n 1 guy oso agreed.

see how loh..

den the housewife show.. WOW... the gardener is once again stripping... haha...

i msg my roommate to pay rent by 1 feb. but till 5 feb, he din give yet.. so i msg him when is he gonna give mi rent. he din reply. ok... den ytday, hehe.. my family went on a shopping spree... went to buy our raw materials for the CNY... den wah, first time, buy so many thigns, den go take bfast, n after tat go buy raw thigns again siazz. den later, even went IMM buy things.. wah.. first time to busy hehe..

but the bfast is not tat nice... din take to my fill...

ok.. den the bfast hor, mum called mi in morning to check if i going over. i jus woke up, and thot it's CNY, n although i'm tired, i shld go and help my family. suddenly my roommate is using the toilet.. so... haha.. i decided not to wait, but go to family.

cos i VELI tired after the bfast, i got home, rinsed myself, ad jus went to sleep.. in my towel oni hehe...

i was imagining... in such attire.. will anything sexual happen?? hahha...

later, i again asked my rommate abt the rent. he msg mi he will pay mi soon... and say right now, his bf is paying his everything.

so i questioned when he gonna pay. ask once, he dun reply. i told him, he dun reply, i'll still ask. den he shouted "by tomor!!". alright den, by tonight i shld get the rent.

den i... dunno how come.. concerned? soft-hearted? or really outta frnly gesture? i gave him advice - dun b too dependent (but i said too bluntly). he den rebutted mi.. saying tat line will not apply to him, n i cna keep for myself.

well up to him. later he oso sms mi.. well, i simply dun wan msg him.. wastage oni

been a rather quiet weekend for mi...

so quiet tat... ya... i shot vids of myself.. or rather... ya lah, vids.. but oni 1 final product :)

was cruising in irc.. got someone who got nice bods.. he looks quite tall in the pic.. den he oso seem to be interested in me... had wanna ask him come over. but too bad.. he wanna go disco with frns.. den he ask mi join oso..

i was thinking will i appear despo if i join the disco? like i veli keen on him.. my close frn advised mi to jus go.. treat it as a chance ot know him better. ok loh... i guess.. will jus join... his profile is http://www.facelink.com/cruz.

but hor... wah liao... ok.. i too anxious.. so i got there 1 hr earlier... den we met up. he brought mi in... he was kinda smiling all the way. when inside, his frns are in liao, but.. dunno why he din intro.. den in this kinda place, knowing my voice limits, i dun tok much oso... den he never tok to mi at all as well. oh well, a few lines he did. but i seem to tok more..

he did ask if i'm bored at the start.. i was fine then. but tat does not mean i am not bored at the later part, when i was like.. expected to kill time myself... he din tok to mi, oni entertain his frns... i told him i din plan to chiong.. so went out oni to see him. but he so bochap mi...

too bored, i msg him i go out first... he can come out to tok... for 30 mins, he din reply mi at all. i was jus staring into blank outside the disco. finally, i sms him i'll leave first.

den 1 hr later, he sms mi... tat he din notice my sms oni until now. apologied for "seeing my sms oni now", "for not toking to mi". and "paiseh". at that point of time, i was still thinking ok loh... at least he replied. oh ya, when i finally left disco, i deleted his name liao. but hor, soem time later, i thot abt it, n find that he IS insincere.

see, i was there, with him in the disco. toking to him for a while. den during the time i left the place... did he not notice mi missing at all? if he din, i'm disappointed. cos i'm nothing to him. if he did, din he even bother to call? I'm an adult. if i were to leave, i sure will inform him. this is courtesy. den he din even bother to find out.

this is really diplomatic loh..

why must ppl jus hang so high up when someone hints of a liking for him?!?

hhe.. abt 20 mins back.. i shot another vid of myself LOL....

and took a picture which i think is quite nice :D

haha.. dunno how come... so honry.. maybe at home.. dun wan read books yet.. so kinda horny hahah/// den went on with.. or rather continue with my fantasy of shooting myself in vid hahah..

quite fun.. but cos of solo shooting (i wrote, directed, and acted in the "script"... chinese say zi bian, zi dao, zi yan) sometimes have to adjust here and there after the shots, and need to NG n retake.. but the final result not bad.. cos final result was when... i shooting quite ok.. was planning this to be last shot.. den suddenly heard door unlocking... n i think my roommate is back.. immediately stopped n wore back my clothes haha..

i thot wll be badly done... but well, jus watched it.. not bad!! LOL...

sighzz... got to know some great websites... now can't resist liao.. esp when got live cam feed... anyway, jus now, i shaved again.. this time really veli clean... hairless n smooth... hahah...

on thursday.. aiyozz.. nowadays.. i seem like not keen to work anymore liaozz... sianzz with the work? maybe...

i went to work as usual.. den once i reach my work, i told my supervisor tat i need to take timeoff.. for safety, i told him tat... i got job interview.. so he bobian.. muz grant mi :D

den when my KO time came, i immediately rushed off. hehe.. i was thinking i can rush to the hp place... but i was worried later will miss her again. den i stood a bit away from the busstop.. almost ready to flag a cab... but luckily... the bus jus came.. hhaha.. i boarded it, den cos i need to transfer, i alighted quickly, den went to take the next bus.. n this bus actually came jus as i cross the road!! wah, smooth transition!!

when i got there, for my first time, i actually waited for the lady at counter 2... RIGHT IN FRONT OF A MATURED YANDAO GUY.. i dun deny his highlited hair attracted mi too... den all the while i was staring at him (i am grinning while remembering, thinking, n writing abt it :D)... he did notice i was often loking at him.. cos he was trying to look, den shifted his eyes fast haha.. n whenever he look here, i'll catch his eyes!! LOL

ok.. serious biz.. later the hp ger tok to mi... den hor... she treat mi like jus another customer who came here to log a case.. but i told her abt my difficulties.. n spoke to her in a prof way siazz.. haha.. with those proper language n tone... ..when she say "the earpiece is delicate and shl b used in wat wat way", i told her "i'll appreciate for a chance to be educated to use it" hahaha...

anyway, i hope something good can come out...

den later, i took bus home... prepared my thigns n went to apply java course... this time.. gosh.. i still delayed my time by getting too keen on porn hahah..

den i hurried down to aply for course.. sighzz, i counted wrongly. shld b start on end feb.. haizz...

have quite a nice chat wif my better command of english... i mean compared to my past yrs lah...

den went down wif my frn to city hall there.. kauzz.. kauz we rushign for a bus.. the way he ran is like... like such a bitchy auntie like dat siazz!! cos he got newspaper under his arms there.. n ran like dat liaozz!!

at the tmc there, somehow, i feel tat monash againcock up.. either they cock up, or tmc cockup. cos last yr around may tat time... i did apply for deferment for 1 sem. den by right, i studying this march. but monash din ask mi for payment.. den the tmc ppl tell mi i din apply for sem 1 subj, but for sem 2 oni.. i was amused...

if i din apply for sem 1 subj oni sem 2, but deferred oni sem 2, i shld be taking sem 1.. but they din bother... both tmc n monash din bother... liaozz... admin cockup...

after everythign, we went on to chill out... hehe.. from 5+ till 7+ 8... quite cooling... this is wat i call life.. getting good frns out to tok till the day is over.. really.. getting a close frn out to tok is always so much better... than getting a group of frns.. to tok superficial stuff... hehe...

2 bad, later i had to go frn's grandma funeral. hehe.. i'm pretty happy wif my way to solve problem this time.. or my resourcefulness hahaha...!!!

cos at the busstop, i know where frn live... den i ask the driver where to alight... hehe.. but hor, return kinda late oso...

overall... i not sure if it's really so.. but my sec frns.. though they supposed to be more educated than mi... but my way n speed of thinking (not for future sake/planning) is faster n better than them.. maybe cos i start working liao? so influence by the politics?

dunno abt my poly frns though...

duno how come... my timing has not been good...

on wednesday, i took 1 day off to do my things... wanna go haircut, fix hp, get cheque, defer my monash, and aplpy for java...

n help my frn with his laptop.

at the haircut there.. wah liao.. din realise wil be so ex.. den if get the dbs atm card, will have discoutn.. wah.. how come har? the java thing.. oso discount for dbs credit card. dbs nowadays so siong siazz... later, i decided to ask roommate to help.. cos he FREE and got DBS atm.. ask him pay for mi first, he say no money... so i let him transfer money from my acct, den put his n pay for mi... i ask for my ocbc receipt, den he gimme his dbs oso.. boliao...

but i find strange, he no money den still go out... veli power siazz.. n he din pay mi the rent for this month yet.

den when all's done... oh ya.. seem like for highlighting of hair, this place.. is not tat efficient.

den when hair done liao, i went off to take my lunch.. somehow, i thot i can make it for all my appts.. but end up... ok, i took lunch at my own sweet time.. the lady for my hp say i can go over after 2pm. ok, so i took my lunch...

somehow, the guy serving there, at the kopi shop.. seem like.. look cuter each time.. LOL.. he dun have the fig... but the blur n hardworking look.. not those slogging type but always working type loh :)...

after lunch... wah liao, hey i order "teh ice" den the cup is a normal plastic mug with plentiful ice in it.. KAUZZ!!! 90c??? i order a proper cup of teh is 70 c, now, it's with ice, so dilute n less tea but 20c more?? liaozz...

den... haha reaching 2 pm, i still at hme. ok... proceed liao... when i got there, e person actually on lunch... chey.... den i go get my cheque instead..

oh ya, was planning to go swim in morning.. but 2 bad, got interview den muz cancel..

wah, when i on my way to lawyer to get cheque, damn siongzz!!!! i know the direction... but e block r all continuous/// dun even know which is which... took 15 min to find! n i was exhausted... when i finally reached, i den know how near it is.. but my view was blocked earlierr...

i got the cheque, den the hp ger called mi n i told her i'll be going down hahah.. cos.. i forgot to bring a vodka for my frn.. i... went back all the way home to get it. as i reaching home ,my frn called mi.. i told him i getting drink from home.. he was like disappointed.. aiyozz.. i had wanna ... nvm... so after i took the drink, i took a taxi down.. 10$... quite ok loh.. cos i dun wan waste his time...

den helped him with his laptop problem.. n his colleague came down oso.. his colleague his those beng style... a lot of things to say abt this guy... but i'll summarise.. he's a nice person who is pretty down to earth.. but at his age, he still finding his direction.

my frn left earlier for work, so i sat with this new guy.. roger (rabbit). chatted.. n den went to find my frn at work... his looks ain't good.. but he has the proper attitude... rather down to earth.. n perhaps.. a bit mature.. at least to mi...

haha.. at my frn's work, i "threatened" to complain if my frn is not performing well LOL...

den went home to watch charmed... but.. due to unfinished work, i have to claim urgent off for the enxt day... thursday

somehwo.. i feel tat my life is going to be a total mess again...

2 close frns of mine fell out.. they dunno each other, but they conflict, and thus.. fell out.. den both gonna leave for studies.. n not living in same area... den my job is not confirmed, my rented room not sure if owner still gonna stay there for how long...

den a frn who originally i consider as gd frn... in my aj life... cos of 1 incident.. tat meeting session.. we fell out...

he msg mi some days back online, but i was hostile to him.. den he called mi, i reject. den got 1 time, he msg mi again. i replied. after tat, i msg him online, he dun reply mi. sms him, he oso no reply. i dunno wat he doing.. somehow, i think he's under influence by someone.. cos 2 things 2 coincident liao..

i dunno how true this is.. but if he think i'll msg him... n coax him to clal mi... or keep calling him... i wun do it. i was mad at him. now i ok liao... and yet he angry at mi? for? for ignoring his call??

i thnk... i'll see if he's oline.. den i' msg him.. if he dun reply stil.. i'll sms him a final line. if he still dun bother at all.. fine with me...

was updating my blog... but suddenly net DIED once gain... ARGHZZZ!!!!!!!!!! the line so unstable siazz!!

anyway, last night, was watching charmed... den got a scene where the pregnant sister died while giving birth... her siblings were worried sick n demanded the doc to revive her... at this scene, i got into the show n tears almost fell down...

this is happening to my dog oso... he is like on the verge... but we are not able to help in anything... i cant help but feel bad towards it. it's still feeble.. and my family says it's VERY feeble n cant balance itself at times. it has even vomitted when he was given medicine from the vet...

jus hope for the best for him..

last night, planned to meet up a frn for diner... ok met up.. he was feeling unwell.. having Mc tat day...

den.. din tok muhc lah.. cos dun wan him to tok 2 much lah... so i quiet... den suddenly, he went over to find a frn.. this frn... he met up lioa, den TOK all the way, as though i am non-existent. ok, i'm fine with it. he jus met up, n wnana tok.

but hor, later they go take neoprint.. den leave mi alone to wait for them... wah liao.. i wait there n wait.. 10 mins liao... wah liao so long.. den i type out my msg telling i gonna eat dinner myself somewhere... den as i typing, he called mi... i unhappy.. so i jus told him i hungry n waiting so long... den went for dinner.. well,

my frn think his frn is cute./.. so ok loh... den after dinner... he went off to find tat frn.. on pretext he wanna go shop shop... haha...