cool...

den, got 1 night, i my boi n his frn at city area 7-11 there. we were at mag area browsing mags. den 1 guy wif helmet bring his ger in, say "wan buy this right? excuse!" at us, n uses his arm to push us aside. i promptly responded wif "someone ppl are jus so no manners". my boi ask mi to "shh".. later, i saw them looking at titbits. know wat? later hor, i got scared. scared tat those couple later find their gang to wallop us hahah... tat as we left 7-11, i kept looking back to see if any1 is folowing us strangely.. haha... so drama... ain't i imaginative? or.. hehe, perhaps i shld know the situation first b4 i blurt. =)

for a long time, din blog liao, n din check my visits' log.

anyway, hope can do a quick re-cap. on monday, mum's bday. BIG DAY! was ready to celebrate it. but later mum say, no 1 confirm anything, n was abt to cancel it. sis call mi to ask if bro caused it, as he's not free. ok, she added "jus cos he not free, den dun celebrate anything?". so i called mum to enquire. heeh, i spurred her off, n in end, i made the arrangement wif mum, sis n dad to bring us to seafood restaurant!!! ME!! ahah, feel quite good tat i managed to coordinate them haha.

but hor, GOSH, the seafood is live animals. i see them, n we are supposed to choose which we wan. i was struggling within mi. why am i carnivore? i hate to see myself eating these aniamls, causing their deaths. but then, if they're already dead, i feel better. u see, if i choose to eat 1 dish, 1 of them will be killed right on the spot to satisfy my hunger. i din even dare go up and look at them, i stayed behind my family. i feel so terrible. i almost wanna cry. wat's more, later, when we wanna the prawns, the person went to catch it. know wat?

she put the net in, the prawns were all resting n swimming around, and later all JUMPED away from the net. but 2 bad, din manage to escape from the net. i even thot, shld i smash all the tanks so tat they can escape? i think i dun dare eat anymore live seafood... prefer them dead b4 i see them.

den my boi celebrated my bday, n got greetings from some ppl heheh. over these times, i kinda realised more abt myself when it comes to relns, so i "came out" to my boi. well, perhaps due to some invisible wall tat is blocking my emotions frm flowing out? or some self defence due to failed relns?

when my boi celebrated my day, hhe, i was pretty happy :) din really expect him to buy mp3 player for mi, cos my life was kinda... set to not need it. cos it wasn't on my list of MUZ haves, i was happy, not excited :) hehe, ya it sounded a bit cold lah, but in front of my boi, why i wan hide my true feel and show .... well :) but the thing is tat, he tricked mi1!!! he din take the mp3 out from the packaged set, n wanna mi to feel n guess wat it's, while it's inside paper bag. WAH YOZZ... in the end, i guess "mirror" and soem other things. heheh. bue teo.

den went to my buffet dinner at jap restaurant. hehe, quite ex... n he hor, made a joke/fool out of us siazz...

nowadays my monash start liao, n java i MUZ pass exam by end aug. so damn stress. n java is a crash course wif (i blif) certified instructors. and they teach everything so much so fast (14 chaps) in 5 days! wha liao, so fast, so stress. den saturday i went to take monash course, wah yoz, suddenly not used to the speed of the 3 mths course. slow steady not QA from the instrcutors.

den after class, i was like a kid (or perhaps birdling) waitign to see my ... loved one / mum. rushed down by foot to meet him up haha, wah liao, so many ppl there, so i ask my boi to meet mi outside. ok lah, i originally really planned to jus msg him if he wanna mi go along. if not, i go home do java. since he need, i willing be there for him. but really din expect to b home oni by 240am.

ahha, got some jokes again. a wingless crow walking from 1 side of the bush to another. and crow masturbating wif his feather LOL. these 2 jokes made us luff till boi's kakis all come to find out wat's wrong siazz...

but after 1 wk, jus wanna say, if u wan ur frns to live well n do well in relns, pls DUN TEACH HIM WAT TO DO. he's not ur servant who lives by ur orders. u may think u know wat's happening in the background n to him, but, as the lines started, u MAY. this is assuming, assumption. n dun backstab oso. if u got any bad impression of a frn, provided u take him as a frn in the first place, why nto jus sort it out, instead of assuming wat he did n giving the wrong advice, by thinking of a certain way of how tat frn did things.

u may think u know wat's best for him, but u are NOT him, how can u b so sure? When it comes to mattyers of the heart, only the parties involved know wat;s happening. Others can only listen, and advise, but shld NEVER NEVER NEVER (damn, i almost wnana repeat 5 times) ask him to follow.

ehhe, do i sound sick if i describe my co-habitation wif a spider? LOL, or will my boi be jealous? =P nowadays, the spider cleverer liao. it hides under the cupboard door, thinking those insects saw it, tat why nvr fall into its web. ahah, aiyozz, i wonder if it'll ever leave, cos my place got no flies!!! at most those stinging creature whcih can cause a bump on ur skin, making u itch itch itch. i even scared it go hungry siazz tat it starve. but given its 1 mm body size, i think it dun need to keep eating. but its meal leh, how? ..............

jus wanna blog it. went to zpop there, cool. the waiting wasn't cool, but the end result was DEF'ly WORTH IT!! saw my dear amei!!! but somehwo, i think she really put on a bit wt, thus wear black. wah liao, if not for the award presentation, she can come out much earlier. was so damn excited to see her... my excitement grew with the period of time she din appear in public events.. LOL

n, finalyl met my sick boi....... really felt like sayang him. finally, i realised tat some frns may not b tat true wif wat they say n wat in their mind. sighz. n when i saw my boi, felt like i've never seen him for decades..... den on the way there, got some caucasian ask for directions. strange, they ask my frns, who cant give proper ans, end up i ans for him, n hor, wah, i think i spoke too fast. but at least, nowadays i managed to speak proper english. no stuttering. but i still need to slow down.

watching news now. i wonder these days, how many singaporeans can speak proper english and chinese. there was a time, when singaporeans spoke dialects. den chinese. now english is in thing. or rather, singlish among younger generation of singaporeans? but right now, who can speak a proper line of each language, without adding salt and pepper of another? proper lang means those used in news reports, where got no "lahs" "leh" "wah liao" "like dat oso can" "paiseh" "bobian" "bay tah han". i used to b so damn good in chiense. (i din bother to correct the spelling for "Chinese", but i dun mean any pun). but no chance to practise n follow the trend, end up my chinese oso going down the drain.

sometimes, proverbs take time to flash in my mind. n being in helpdesk, i often need to sound frnly n lower my level of eng proficiency tat, i tend to speak proper english. but come to think of it, if i use proper english, it carries no friendly tone. frnly in the sense of native (loca) lang. If I write proper English in my blog, I sound proper but not accustomed to local way of living. hehe...

am i blogging many new posts today??

watching ch u Guess show. wow, i'm really touched to tears by wat the guy is doing. the story is, a youngster couple is on the verge of breakup. the guy appear on TV, seeking help to salvage it. the guy, on tv, called the ger up to chat, ask 2 concerned qns, n the ger jus hung up. sad. the tv ppl know tat the ger had wanna the guy play guitar (wah, the scene came to my mind, eyes watery) n send her flowers, but guy nvr did tat. the guy 10 yrs (my guess) din touch guitar liao.

den the tv ppl arrange the guy to attend 1 day or few hrs guitar crash course. the guy den went to meet the ger. gave her flowers. she say in avg tone n face "now den give, not 2 late meh?". took the ger walk around. den the guy need to leave for toilet. the ger waited in open space in busy area.

the next moment, the guy actually appeared on the public screen in the open space, right in front of the ger! like, the music screen opposite somerset ocbc screen like dat. the guy appear on teh screen n was sitting down n apologising. the ger zat teo, n touched n surprised by his words: i'm sorry, n wanna play guitar for u". wah liao, such public apology is definitely a lethal weapon siazz... as the guy appear on screen, i was controling my tears oredi. i cant put into words why this is happening, cos i know it's damn touching.

watch it... on the right side link.

sighzz.. jus now, wanna take some old medicine, end up disturbing the spider web, e spider rushed over, thinking got prey, end up false alarm... kauzz.. i feel kinda bad....

it's liu kai wei!!! n haha, did some editing!!!

heeh, i kinda like tis ger... prefer her to joanna peh

wow, quite happy tat got someone faithfully visit my blog continuously for months... hehe, thx for tat :) n din realise by searching for my nick, can get my boi's blog oso, and even find a theme i created for adam...

adam chen's t630 theme

tmr amei coming for "mini-concert". these days, been feeling empty inside. dunno, maybe stayed home for too long? or simply 2 stressed by java to start anything? my reln at work getting better. n the fat sup, sometimes, his words really hold no credibility. got 1 time, when either on way home or work, i sitting inside, a working lady sitting beside mi. i was yawning facing the window, a few times in a row, den the ger kept moving abt, adjusting herself, den 1 time, jus after i yawned, i noticed she even covered her nostrils.

wah liao, i den thot, i nvr knew yawning, in a/c bus, towards the window, can push my breath to opposite the windows siazz. haha, if got ppl wif mi, i dun mind saying it out.

my java errors..

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

MY JAVA CNA BE INSTALLLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THX TO A DEVELOPER FROM MY OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ORIGINALLY, my tomcat cannot detect where on earth is the jdk compiler installed, n keep thinking it's the location of jre. i oso blur blur n go install. den everytime i wanna start tomcat, it cannot find the location of jdk. i somehow realised tat it cannot detect java_home n wanna set it. but it jus dun accept. i even changed the env var, but no use. hehe, today know from my dev abt how to set. i den set it, removed tomcat n put in again. voila! gotcha! it found the jdk location!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!

*ngek negk ngek ngek ngek ngek ngek ngek ngek ngek ngek ngek ngek*

i cna use java luh!!!!!!!!!!!11 everyday go work, can read java theory, get home n work on my pracs!!!!!!!! YYA!!!!!!!!!!!

sianz, my java still not working. guess muz slog to make it work..................

wah liao, cant blif, these days still got ppl tok abt nkf.. well, maj opinion is, nkf ceo shld not earn tat much. although u ceo, but u in charity org, where ppl donate to help, where u earn by wat ppl donate. u earn so much, how much donation u get from ppl? how much % is tat of the donation? on other hand, ppl keep saying, it's abt e balance between a person who manages $mil n wat he earns.

well, 2 bad, in public eyes, someone who is manning a charity shld not earn tat much. ehhe, any1 wanna check how much mingyi rev is getting?

den on bus, wah liao, auntie seem so fazed over a BOY siazz. on e bus, she was.. a .. seemingly china auntie lah, i sitting behidn e boy. wah the auntie, put 1 hand on the seat rail in front of the boy, n 1 hand behind him. behidn him e hand, she was putting her whole arm on the rail! machiam pushing her breast to force the boy touch her, so she can reach orgaz siazz. if i wif a frn, i sure will tok loudly abt it, n make her paiseh.

but since when have i been so bitchy?? kena influence ah? umm, ehhe, see first. arghzzzzzzz damn java.

hi chris, i guess it's my first blog reply to u. well, jus take tat day's blog as 1 of my emotional swings :) i'm still alright :)

today is a totally messed up day. on sunday, no matter where i go, i keep knocking onto thigns. den dinner is... i jus dun enjoy it. when i got home, a frn sending mi a video. i stayed up till 12am+ waiting for it. n so i dozed off on bed. woke at 4am. ligths on. i dun wanna wake late ,so i slept on wif my specs. din switch off lights oso.

den at work, everythign looked fine. until, work really stress, n the jnr wah liao.. again in her syle, n i jus sarc to her. she was slightly pissed. will find a chance to tok to her. n a guy in my office seem to know abt mi, cos he saw mi wif my boi. today he joked tat his computer is outta bounds to gay. i jus joked abt it. den jus as i abt ot leave, the beng guy came in. n we left the office at same time. cos we going same direction in comp bldg, he lightly chatted up wif mi. den after entering toilet, he totally ignored mi liao..

den later, i waiting for my bus to come, wah kauz, an elderly lady (gray hair, semi office wear) started to take note of mi, n keep looking my way. i saw it. den walked to the front. mins later, she followed. den on the bus, i kept wanting to sleep, cant read my bk at all. it's the same when i on way to work.

when i got to family, even WORSE. ok, my bro is sick, maybe allergy or wat. den thsi dinner, oni cook crry chiken, egg beancurd wif mincemeat + some bean sprout loko alike, n vege + shrimp. i took rice n chiken. ask mum wat's the looklike thing. she say it's cook wif "somethign something" loh. i'm PISSED. i asked further, frowning n staring at her. she paused for 5 secs, n ans "some thign like bean sprouts". tat TURNed mi OFF. wat kinad meal she expect mi to have??? wat did she intend to let mi eat???? in end, i finsihed the meat n potato in my bowl, soem rice, n swept the rest of the rice (wif currey) into the chute. i jus left house. it's the shortest time ever i stayed "home for dinner".

anyway, decided tat i wun eat at home for tis wk liao. muz buck up my java, n dun slag jus cos got 1 mod gone. dun care wat my mum may think. den when i went to buy nasi for dine, wah liao, same dish cost mi 30c more this time round. serve them RIGHT for not having any cust!

gosh, a day of bad luck. not forgetting my boi who has fallen ill, till he need to go hops for chekcup. if someone's ill for a wk, first few days die die dun wan see doc. later take some cof mixture till sunday dun feel well, den monday (today) need to go hosp checkup. how will u feel? if ur sick period usually need u to go hosp checkup cos u nromally dun scik 1, i ok. but then, if u RARELY sick, n this time end up in hosp, how do u expect someoen who CARE LOVE n HAVE U IN HIS MIND feel abt this period?

watching ChU now. yes, i simply cant focus in getting my java servlet thigns working.

they are toking abt youngsters taking their lives lightly these days. but upon hearing how the hosts n ppl tok, i wonder if they really understand the thinking of the possible victims. hwo to udnerstand, if they never had suicidal thots?

it's akin to saying a guy or a single lady saying they understand hwo painful it's to give birth. but how do they know? by tv? by mag? or frns? oni those who have been thru it will really know, and UNDERSTAND will hold some facts.

so, do these ppl know wat went on in the minds of potential vics? for mi, (my boi, it's the past liao, so dun worry abt mi, cos i will b writing soemthing sad), i am an introvert. being introvert, i keep things to myself. watever problem i have, i dun say at all. i dun wan my family to look down on mi. maybe cos my parents low EQ, or they 2 busy to tend to mi, so i grew up by myself, n am VERY quiet.

in ns, to myself, i led a miserable life. ns is a place full of shit, autocraticism, power hungry ppl. once superrior say soemthing, it's LAW n ORDER n MUS b done. it's almost like jail to mi. plus, i'm introvert, cannt find ppl to tok to. there's 1 time, i stay in bunk, i was thinking abt dying. to escape from ns. shld i cut my wrist? shld i jump down? i'm medic, so shld i inject myslf n let blood flow out? or since i got access to panadol, n gdrugs, maybe i can swallow them all n sleep till i wake up in hell-knows-where. i nvr tell any1 else.

i was oredi on the verge of executing it. i'm jus waitingf or myself to cool dwon n go ahead. but somehow, i received an sms from my mum, i frogot the contents. but tat pt, i felt my mum stil lcared for mi. i immediately felt there is still at least someone who is out there waitinf n caring for mi.

den, antoher time, is a breakup. i also din tell anyone, cos i'm gay. none of my frns know it then, the break. tat time, i jus stayed home, stared into blank. din tok at all. my mum walked past mi, told mi as a passing remark: if u hve anything, jus say it out.

she knows i'm not a person who openly tok abt my life, experiences. so she gave mi the choice to tok. i guess if nothing of these consolations happened, i won't b here anymore. having say all these, my impression is tat, whenever someone feel extrem down, thre must b some signs of suicidal. the person may stil apepar chirrpy, but if u take note, he still is somehow emotionally disturbed.

too bad, these days, ppl r too busy to perhaps take note. winter may be arriving at some people's hearts. i oso rmb, there 1 time, i took cab wif a transvestite. she commented tat, i din have the courage to commit S. i din agree. i'm brave enuff to live on and face the prblem tat rose. so tat my ppl wun b affected.

which is braver? Leaving ur loved ones sad, or facing the fact?

oh, well, I'M HAVIGN PROBLEM GETTING MY JAVA TO WROK!!!

err.. hehe, might as well jus write the rest of my thots.

watched F4 wif my boi. hehe, we really pretty open siazz. in the cinema, cos it's raining n we stayed in the library for hours, den go cinema there got a/c. we both freezing. he dun wan my coat. so in end, we shared it. hehe, well, we in neighbourhood cinema, so.. i din care abt image n jus behaved casually: i folded my legs so tat my whole body is on the seat. so tat my whole body can b covered. i learnt this from the gal. sighz, both he n she really taught mi a lot of things. right now, we all fighting for our better futures.

and cos we both sharing the coat, we appeared REAL close siazz. a boi sitting in front of us, kept looking back n up. haha. den 1 caucasian was in the cinema oso. some malays were making a lil noise jus b4 the show started. he "shhh" a no of times. din help. he den exclaimed "can u ..... ?" i din really rmb wat he say. they quietened down, but still got some noise later on. but stopped in secs. den a fat guy was sittign beside mi. hhaha, maybe he din realise abt us. so when i whispered to my boi if he's getting enuff cover, tat guy changed his posture till his body facing his right side, n looking to the screen LOL. when the show ended, we both were freezing siazz.

well, the show, i surprised tat the storm chris evans was so daring. cos he was naked for almost like 1/20 of the show. he was dashign into a snow hill, resulting in him soaking in the water. naked of cos, but naval butt onwards in water. den nex scene, he was clad oni in towel. n the towel, is not neatly wrapped around, as in covering from waist downards to kneecap or shin. he's jus like getting a towel to simply wrap around the vital parts, wif no intentions to properly wrap the towel. like jus wearing a SHORT brief, covering tat 10cm height. his hand was still holding on to the "knot" area. "knot" cos he was jus grabbing the part where the 2 ends meet, not tying a knot to lock it. i guess he's either wearnig gstring or really nothing inside, since caucasian r OPEN minded, having seen everythign they wanna.

his fig is of cos shiok. n to think he stayed in his "attire" for a whopping 10 mins! any idiot will know he's using sex appeal, n a lto of it. cos i thot the next scene will have him clad properly in clothes. other than tat, everything SUCKS BIG time. no PUN, but jus to emphasize. everything jus wanna rush thru. esp e part when chris is unhappy tat everyone seem so jealous of his pop state. seem so commercial n out of tune wif the mindset of ppl these days. when the fans n every1 is matured.

den today, was watchign the re-cast of superstar. i watched it thurs liao. reallt felt they not doing justice to many songs, n a ger who shld b albe to make it, kena kicked out. 1 ger was singing "brave". ok, i may b biased. but she sing like KTV style siazz!!! wothout the required emotions! gosh! trying to hard to SQUEEZE her feelings into her voice n hittign the notes. pls, if u having problem hitting the notes pro'ly, DUN TRY. if it's intentional, does it actually bring out the soul of the song?

the ch5 idol show, at least the ppl know wat they doing, wif proper music n punches. but tis chU is jus like who is popular, who wins. i cant imagine them belting out such songs. 1 ger sang tao wang, n tried imitating the nasal sounds of SYZ. KAUZ. pls, a star shld have own style n attitude. her "cai zhe yue guang" sounded so SYZ-wannab. but she cant hit the note tat nicely for gods sake! like stuck at a note n wanna use nasal to pull it up. HAVE UR OWN STYLE PLS.

i din notice if idol show got ppl wif vibration, but this star thing, the ppl jlike go KTV like dat, no std at all!! haha, n well, someone who i know who was in fridae, dunno if he still in anot, may have removed his profile siazz LOL. cos he in the competition

for a long time, has not blogged. but now, shld i start again? cos my exams have jus been rescheduled... until, i have slightly more time on hand.

these days, the nkf is getting another big issue sighzz. charities. we have trust in them tat they are doing their bit to help the unfortunate. but din expect them to take such a big slice of the cake! fancy earning so much money?? although they are CEOs, but it's a charity org! y is the CEO making so much money?? he can argue tat, he is the CEO n thus this is his worth. but who is paying him? the public is not paying him to run the place, but to help the unfor. gosh.

does anyone actually pay atention to those societies tat dun get so much publicity n attention? i'm referring to SPCA.

these days, tat gal mentioned tat ppl r getting into the blog sensation, but wonder if they r blogging to be fashionable, or they wnana really blog. oh well, whenever something's out n not tat cool n hip yet, pioneers are in it. then when it gets hot, pioneers will wonder if it's the hip tat attracted these ppl, or they really need it. ICQ, MSN, blog. wat else? i oso got friendster. but do i really need it? yes, i know how it works, but i jus dun see the need to use it. it's supposed to let us know who know who. in past, it's hot. now it;s merely, peer pressure.

oh ya, saw the papers tat "gather" blogger to a conference or soemthing. to choose award winners. haha. wonder if those who lead alternative lifestyles attended it, or oni those mainstream fellas went. 1 of the mainstream guys, won the hunky guy award. hahah. the paper say he's tanned skin and somethign else. i forgot. ahha, the paper pic, i dunno how come he got it. went his blogspot, din see any pic to verify. but his site got 1 comment abt gays swarming over to see his pic. hehe, i replied to him.

den, perhaps i'm really pretyt open n dun give a damn abt public opinion, i noticed tat, some ppl when they see mi on bus sittign down, they dun seem so wanna sit beside mi hehe. when i was at downstair shop buying things, i walked into an alley, 1 guy already looking at things there, saw mi, he jus walked off hahah. mayb i 2 sensitive. who knows ;) but i know i enjoy my way of living. n ppl gotta know, GAYS have nothign to hide abt ourselves. we are no diff from anyone and everyone. jus tat our sexual pref is not accepted by the mainstream.

it's prob'ly a pop blif tat gays are sexually driven by any guys on the street. but, who on earth has no sexual needs? we have our own styles/ways of seeking sex. n dun forget, men have an addi tool btwn their legs which at times may overwhelm the brains' instructions.

sighz, back to my studies, n tmr, back to work.

cute hongkie... dun wanna miss the show, but see ow is my java preparation loh.

another round of manhunt

stressed over java studies...

not feeling good

will be writing jus few liners i guess. finally met up my boi, felt like hugging him. but haha, in public.. n damn, din expect some kids nowdays so no manners 1..

Announcement: I'll not b blogging for a period of time. i need to study n prepare for my "big" time - java. and I've introduced a "new" look :)

"They are so busy that I only remember saying "hi" and "bye" to them. haha..." - ehhe, not oni tat, u oso greeted some ppl wif ur eyes hahah...

"Dar was cruised by uncle sia" - maybe, but i never felt so cruised b4... in fact, i never realise if ppl r crusing mi..

"keep reminding me not to touch the hair" - hair was styled liao mah, dun wan mess it up.

"either one of us got the membership card loh" - no need lah, jus ask my sis buy for mi can liao. wat for aim for it?

"Robinson is having sales now" - i wanna buy new sandals. but branded anot, oso can

"I have met up with Les and got a taste of his quick witted" - haha, u mean his cuisine of seafood? LOL. ya, once i went to his place, he tell mi he is changing his dates. i say, "oh, so who are u dating now?". i know he means the date for flying Oz.

"I am not sensitive or affected by wat Lesile said to u lah" - argh, i know wat leslie wanna say, n i know how to react to him. jus like, when we crossing road, i told samuel tat i happy for him abt his bf. he thot why i happy. den u hinted him it's crap. i know wat u trying to do, i jus making a joke outta u.......

"we would only meet during the weekends ba" - haha, how often will tat b...

"U did shout at me and punch and kick me during ur sleep loh" - oei.. oei.. say until like dat.... machiam i got inclination for family violence...

"film shooter so u got to give me some time to get used to it." - hehe, yup. i let u take ur time. i even let u see the videos :)

"shd not have watch the cartoon. Shd have choose to leave the house earlier " - nope. i know how to plan timing. dun worry.

" it's not longer Peeping Tom liao" - umm... still affected?

" they better be in topless so Dar can take some photos." - dunno, skali some ppl unhappy again...

" Scary sia... ur door can open by it's own?" - yep, n i suspect ppl entering my pl. i still rmb someone got my roomkey.

these days, i was kinda affected by how u react to my blog. cos u seem to be taking note of every word tat i write here, sometimes really reading into the words, which really makes mi wonder if i realyl shld b careful wif which word i use, in case u think otherwise again. i can tell u frankly once again, LTR counts on teh understanding, care n concern of each other, and the personality and character of each party. the body can jus b avg. do u like my body, or do u like my person? there're def'ly many ppl wif better bodies than mi.

i have confidence in u, tat u wun betray mi in any sense, cos i know u r committed to this reln. i am, too. a reln dun need a good body to maintain, but a person who can understand n care for u. agree?

but somehow, this wk, a piece of memory made mi giggle. after dining at seoul, u r still enjoying ur ice cream =D

sighzz.. a post of mine made mi boi devastated wif mi.. was a slight blunder, whcih caused a serious misunderstanding. My BOI, I'm sorry about tat.

i thot abt it on way home. u r often the angel to ur exs. maybe i'm another angel wif certain flaws?

my last post is supposed to b sweet, cos it's supposed to be "replied wif good intentions". but i din realsie the words has caused sucha big thing.

"i am still turned on by new faces n bodies tat i see everydasy." shld b re-phrased as, i am (my eyes) still attracted to good looking faces n bodies.

anyway, b4 our meet, i am finally able to really jus catch a glimpse of the ppl around mi ONI.

jus finish watching a video. had wanna jus sleep ,n dun blog, but dun wan someone to think something bad happened.. :) will not blog my day, but will jus reply his comments.

"Dun know how to reply to the part of u being turned on by new faces and bodies... Haiz... " - dun think 2 much lah. i dunno, all i can say now is, i like challenges?

strangely, tis morning, i woke at 625am. it starting to rain. den i rested n awoke. sudenly, i saw my door open!!! it was locked!!! i tested it, it's still locked!! how come sudenly open like dat?!? n not jus open a bit, it's 45 deg leh!! n i was sleeping in my brief oni?!?

later i thot i may b early for work, but kauz, i was wearing my new pants n adjusting the belt, end up i late, plus the downpour. in morning, kena suan by my sup tat i have not carried a task assigned by him even after 5 days. well, i was tied down by other thigns wat........ den my office pc again crash. this tiem, my sup wanna mi resolve it myself. i take it tat, he trying to assess how good i'm. and by giving mi the task, he wnana mi know the ppl better... instead of thinking he throwing mi some shitty job.

for lunch, i n snr went together. now she is used to getting mi for lunch. today is mon. she ask mi lunch. think 1 or 2 days this week, i need to lunch alone. den today, the workload damn stressful for her siazz. during lunch, she jus walk n shop around. i oso dunno wat to do.

n somehow, i am still turned on by new faces n bodies tat i see everydasy. perhaps it's the challenge n excitement of this challenge tat turned mi on. but i know i'm committed to a reln liao. oh ya, DH, this time round, has so much gay stuff siazz!!

last nite, took mc for dinner. n had a chat wif my boi. really duno wat gonna happen in the coming wk, cos i'm stressed wif my java studies. know wat? my block leave 11/7-15/7, dunno whether can approve anot. n can i catch up? den, my monash oso starting in 18/7. n oso, mus take 3 exams for my java in 2 mths. ARGHz.

anyway, my room, gosh, too warm at night. my boi cant sleep. haha, n do i practise martial arts in my sleep??? in morning, oh ya... ytday, shaved my pubes, went for swim, had new haircut. i felt i look [pretty good!! den, hahah, i took video of myself in living room, taking off my singlet. haha, later, almost kena caught n moved to my room to perfect my video =P really felt kinda sexy LOL. wanna ask my boi to shoot for mi, but dun thin he like mi so flamboyant abt myself...

den comes sunday. left for family bfast. damn it. i was oni 5 min from home, my mum called mi. i say i downstairs liao. so i went up, to find them. but found the door locked. so went down tof ind them again. gosh, my mum called again. i was in the lift! i am fed up!! called twixce???? no 1 told mi they coming down. i din say i waitign down. kauz!

my sis noted my new hair, say it's more happening. n oso, my shopping mall, quite cool siazz. i jus now went to look. haha, really cool n hip these days. walked from b1 to top flr. ahhaa. got things which i thot of buying. os thot of bying something simple for my boi hehe. den hor, there got a shop called "apple" and red apple logo. i thot, wah, macintosh so power, setup shop here? i go in, siao. it's anotehr hp shop. den ground flr there, got 1 stall selling hp accessories for nokia. den i moved around on same flr, n found a proper nokia shop selling stuff. wah, a fight siazz. n ya, same flr, got fight between cake shops, accessories n clothes bla bla.

but hor, aiyozz. inthe apple shop, i was looking at the display set, 1 30+ uncle stood beside mi. den i go in, he followed mi to my front. den i shifted to left side of display, he followed in 2 secs. ARGH!! hehe, i told my boi, he sms mi something which i find pretty amusing hahah... den hor, on top flr, hhe, got 3 boys. 1 in tank top, 1 in T, 1 in tank top of bigger opening. haha, i know how revealing the bigger opening is, n peeped as the boy turned around. LOL.

somehow i realsie tat, i still enjoy being over powered haha. n hor, i like seeing ppl, n enjoy being, in the position which you put your arms together behidn ur head. looks like he surrendered n upt o your perusal. LOL

jus watched ch U charity show. i think sgboy ppl will have lotsa things to say again. for the first time, i watch n din donate. sianz of donating liao. but this time, they clever. they ask those who never came at all to garner $, instead of keep asking those who can tok all e way to win money. strange, cao qi tai still there. n hor, while watching the show, bryan wong seem so much like those drag show siazz!!!! esp when he moved those fans!! most impressive is zoe's part. i was mesmerised. fann sang oni. each jump in calls is oni 200. zoe is 400-500. hahah. raise 10k, or even 100k. how come ix n adam not in har?

"show sour face to others cos pple might think that u r angry with them" - can say so. at times, ppl say they unhappy wif someone. but, they can still chat n tok as if nothing happened... hahah... i thot i was good or ok at such fake stuff. but now.. LOL

"dar does have poor memory most of the time" - for things tat dun need to rmb, i need bells to bring it back. but for things tat left imperssion on mi, i rmb it :)

these days u go w/o dinner. but dun forget ur health.

"Seoul Garden is so expensive" dun worry lah, we try once, dun like, next time dun try loh

"Really regret not rushing down from home to have lunch with u on friday loh. " why??? i am used to eating myself all along. dun worry.

"That stupid salesman is very bad loh" i oso din bother to chup him.

"I applied the membership card " siaozz. i can always check wif my sis.

"I m not affected by the sad songs lah" sure?? it means i cant deliver the song well??? LOL

"he wanted to comment that u got taste" i can either say thx to Vir, or "ok". cos i depend on wat i like n wat appeals to mi.

"I am NOT trying HARD to get into Lesile's gd books" i joking wif u oni lah... sonya les r pretty quick witted. n i learnt from them.

"Lesile said that " Kevin, I luv u."" haha.. it's our responses lah... dun b so sensitive abt these. u do have ur own ways to tok wif ur kakis rite?

"bro of the stallowner stunned" haha.. imagine, seeing 2 guys ALWAYS going for meals together every wk?? but i duno e coming wk liaozz. tat is the time we can b together for soemt iem loh.. cos i dun wan u keep spending money on transport.

"I can try not to be sad and affected but then...." if u are not affected by ur family, u r weirdo. dun worry, i'm here for u...

haha, finally replied ur mails... now back to my emails!!

here comes my thursdays blog. this day quite busy. during lunch hr, oni mi, snr n guy around. haha, quite fun. cos guy is not fmailiar with our things. den when got calls, he try help us. den i jus came back from toilet. haha, saw him on a call. i volunteer to ans for him. hehe. quite funny lah. den during our lunch time, we 3 went together, wif 1 more developer.

guy n developer seem to tok ok when we waiting for snr. but later, when snr came along, guy seem to be neglected. so i went up to him to tok loh. in the end, we tok quite a lot. a gd way to strike rapport? ehhe. den later in the day, i planned to meet Oz pal n Rabbit. to catch up wif Rabiit lah. den my boi oso wanna come. but 2 bad, went at wrong time, so cant tok much. n went home wif my boi instead.

on friday, wah liao.. is it happening day? to thnk, i did not set my alarm clock, but i woke up on time. these days, my timet o leave house has changed. i no longer in hurry to work. dunno y, in past, if i take bus early, will b edamn crowded, n may be late. now, i take later timing, not crowded, n not late haha. ok, tat not the main point. when i got to office toilet, wah kauz, a well built guy is in toilet, in a light brown TIGHT fitting short sleeve shirt. tso tight, can see the shape of the chest, nipples protruding. wah liaozz. den first time, cos 2 busy, i stayed in office for lunch. snr buy back for mi.

n, haha, i was saving ManHunt's pix, n actually learnt a shortcut way to save pix!!! in NS!!!

den on saturday, again, i woke up w/o alarm. went for my bfast, followed by swim. @ the swim there, wah liao, saw an ah peh, trying to cruise mi? cos i was swimming to the wall, saw ah peh, swimming there oso, i moved abt 2 m away. den i turned around n abt to swim off and saw him jus 1 m beside mi. i jus swam off. den later, i saw him stay under water, looking at some kids swimming towards him. den got 1 guy who keep... floatin in the water, makign some poses. got 1 cute BOY who is attending swimming class. hehe, feel cool after shaivng myself.

den went to do med chkup. wha liao. if oni the doc is a guy siazz. went to do my haircut. new style again, but the shampoo guy is not there liaoz.