here comes my monday blog.

wah, i slept at 3am. yes i was trying to use PC, so end up 3am sleep. forgot if i JO'ed. den, UNEXPECTEDLY, i woke at 718am. i den heard alarm ring. gosh, i am LATE!!! kauzz, dunno how to fight for time liaoz. washed up, n went into my room. heard my hp ring. it's my boi. err... after some hesitation, picked the phone, cos it's my boi. but i in hurry, so hung up in secs. den upon reachign office, i msg him. wah kauzz, i was so damn tired and exhuasted!! i din even have the motivation to tok.

for lunch, was thinking i wana go alone. it's ok if snr n guy dun ask mi along, cos i dun wan to spoil ppl's mood. but in the end, we still went off together. haha,. ya snr called mi along. YES!! during lunch, i kinda struck a little chat lah. but i know i dun wanna say 2 much, cos i tired. den later, sianz. bad tiem mgmt n ya mgmt. cos i msg the agent guy, i wanna meet on mon. but i was tired n dinno how to explain. den at 6pm, my boss ask mi do things. den i was trapped outside for 30 mins.

when i back, i got 2 sms from agent. he's at my office canteen liao. den i know i supposed to send my boi to gym oso. wah liao, really dunno how. later i sacrificed my boi. met up wif the agent. haizz. but ok lah, settled the policy liaoz. n signed. his wife is abt to give birth anytime. den i RUSHED home for my DH. i was hoping he send mi home though...

den on tuesday, .. ok now, i'm kinda tired, but i stil lwanna write down wat happened, to keep track.

tuesday, the temp guy still did not return money. snr went lunch wif her frns. somehow i realsie a trend. she will lunch wif them once a wk. den soemtimes, wif mi, other times, wif mi n guy. den later, my boi sent mi home for my dinner. had wanna see the matchmaking show. the guy wear tie 1. thot will have a hot scene. 2 bad, it's jus a ploy. on way home, my boi revealed his family history to mi.

to thsi, i wanna say, every1 has their own sad story to tell. some more, some less. somehow i know/understand why he became this way. For mi, i grew up in a diff environment, giving mi a diff view n perpestive of life.

den wednesday, a lot of things going on, the temp guy cheated snr/young lady/jnr of ther time. agreed to meet snr some place, but dun turn up. luckily young lady was there to b witness. thus, the temp guy damn sia suay. den whole morning so quiet. he even told them, on fri, once he got med report from doc saying he unfit for work, he'll leave the place siazz. n later he left the place by 4pm. i bet he'll extend mc for thurs.

den since it';s wed, i WANNA WATCH CHARMED!!! den mum not cooking, so my boi sent mi home, n took dinner wif mi. haha. is it my good luck? i always complain tat i dun have enuff to eat, n dun wan spend $$ to buy extra food. willing to jus eat a proper meal of std intake, than make myself full. but my boi in fact take oni veli little food. he often share, or give mi half his plate. over time, i learnt to trust tat he know his hunger level, n not blidnly gimme food when he's hungrier than mi. so rgiht now, i eat, almost like 1.5 x normal intake hahah. getting fuller in my meals.

wah liao, i din realise the time pass so fast!! charmed almost showing liao!!! rushed thru the dinner, n forced myself to finish the egg my boi passed mi. we are jus so funny siazz.. LOL...

hot guy...

sexy hor? the mid pic is kinda fake, but still sexy. fake as in, so purposely.... do i sound sick for the 2 btm rite pix??

yesterday upadted till saturday night. den on sunday morning. hehe, i was about to call mum tat i not going home for bfast, when she msg mi (or rather, minded mi) tat no family bfast. haha, den spent time wif my boi. toking n chatting. oso watched Superstar repeat. ahah, ok i planned to go clubbing wif my Oz pal tat night. my boi know liao. he say he know i need to rest so i can chiong for the night. den hor, i was asking him to leave, buy haha, he still jus wanna stay by my side LOL..

till 2+, den he realise the time n agreet o lunch n go. den, we went for choy fun again. thisu time, the bro of the stallowner, when see us there togther, like suddenly stunned. he was lunching n paused siazz hahah. his elder bro was more matured n biz like. cos he served us as usual.. as customers.

after tat, i tried sleeping. sianz. 2nd time to catch a wink in day time. realised i really cant on the tv while sleeping. will cause mi insomnia. in end, i sleep 5pm. den cant fall into deep sleep. always, wanna doze off, den my ears hear music n i awake. rested till 740 liao. decided i cant sleep anymore n woke up.

my chiong attire always a plain tom type. i had wanna wear the same rock type jeans, sleeveless leather jacket wif zip. but, i wanna try new style!!! so i wore hawaiian kinda shirt, n rock jeans. met Oz pal up n went to check out a few places. went 1 club. it's FOC. we WERE surprised tat there no queue at all. went in, socked. bo lang eh?!? my firs ttime hor, go in, walk walk, 30 secs went out again.

den went to other 1, wher ei got guestlist. haha, bitch n teased each other on way there. so fun. den the counter guy who checking my name, is wearing black T, but i can see his chest quite well built haha. went up there, n it's ok lah, got ppl. n the crowd is slowing building up. in the club, oni 1 guy is pretty ok looking. be4 long, we got to the dance floor. haha, we saw "Power Ranger" n luffed abt some potato queens. i saw some of the aj group of ppl i had contact wif previously. but since they dun greet mi, i shan't bother to.

haha, realised tat this oz pal, he has his own music he love n own dance movement (soem snake gestures LOL), and i have my own. i rmb, i was oni "moving moving" my body lightly to the music, cos it;s so dead. den when the beat suddenly got to mi, i moved faster. den suddenly, Mimi's song came. i oni heard the fast paced intro, not sure at all. frn oso dunno. den, as the song progressed, YES IT"S MIMI ALIVE!!!!!!!

i was so damn excited!!!! i practically put my thumbs up to my frn!!! i simply shoook my body to the rhythm!!!! yes tiring, but enjoyable!!! did my usual movements... shaking n moving my waist, my butts, n even.. haha, like amei in her concert, will lean 70 deg n make some snaky moves. mi, i 70 deg, n shook my waist so fast to the rhythm, i am risking my breahe n life LOL. i cant blif i moving so fast oso. the rhythm is almost like hitting every beat tat the normal version had let off. so fast!! but i still managed t catch up!!! was enjoying myself quite a lot, really. den the last part where she "rapped" wif the guy, i simply put my hands up high, n jumped to every beat of the song. it's fast, so i cant jump high. yes, i really worship the song LOL. if it's her concert, i guess i';ll do the same :)

haha, the funny thign is, i usually close my eyes when i dancing. but these while, i been looking n observing. hehe, i startingt o have confidence in myself? oni when i wanna focus on dancing, den i close :). but after dancing to mimi song, i did see some ppl looking to my direction ahah.. to our surprise, the ppl, after the groovy musicended, all went off. before long, the whole place became as quiet as when we jus came. LOL.. my frn did see a guy who kept looking at him, but too bad, nothign happened. n den i took a cab home. msg my boi as i boarded the cab :)

then... next morning stuff, i update tmr. now is near 1 am

jus checked my boi's blog.. we both.. din blog for so many days siazz!!! ahha.. have we been up to something lately? for u to find out, for mi to know =P

ok, my last blog is on thurs. friday i work full day. by right, my boi had wanna lunch wif mi, cos he on leave oso. but then, he wanna let mi have chance ot lunch wif my colleauges, so, he stay home. but in end, my snr got lunch appt wif her frns (read: other dept colleauges). so i lunxch alone loh. quite ok lah.

after tat, went to meet my boi. shop around for my pants loh. now i realise tat, i like roomy or slim cutting. cos these r the cutting i like when trying out my pants. saw 3 brands tat i like. hush puppies, john holand (or something), and 1 more brand =P. while trying, kauz, 1 guy was attending to mi. for the john holand brand, he wanna intro mi to some SOFT n silky material pants. i told him, it dun feel secure as it's really kinda thin cloth. he say he understand. den he show mi others. i took a couple n wann go try. he den say "oh the changing rom is there. u can go to the one wif the door, cos the 1 wif cloth door is insecure."

i promptly sensed sarcacism. my boi felt the same thing.

later, i rtied this tat.. hehe, finalyl found 1 tat i like. paid the money n i asked abt membership card. aiyozz.. the mebership is nothing but a CREDIT CARD!!! damn! den i started to wonder wat kinda position will earn enuff to get credit card.

spent time wif my boi at home on friday. supposed to be our 1 mth anniversary, according to the day my boi officially declared our reln. but then this day.. turned out we celebrated in an alternate manner hehe... but i can say, this perhaps broke my curse :) will tell my boi more on my bday.

=========================

on saturday, had planned OUR day as follows:
1) go ktv at 11am
2) den go paragon catch QIU ZE!!!
3) walk around, den go find my boi's frn to celebrate frn bday.
but aiyozz ktv there... (LOL, havingh read my boi's blog, i seem to be repeating his lines...) the ktv dun have extra room siazz!!! sch holiday so hiong meh?!?! end up we went for the 1-3pm instead. ahha, i been to party n kbox liao. for party, it's more computerised n yes, it's better. unlimited number of songs to dedicate. song scome faster. screen bigger n flat some more. but ex loh

kbox is more for frns gathering. no wonder it's cheap. got a max of 30 songs. n squeezy oso. ahha, in here, i dedicated a song to my boi. a song whcih i thot of while on my way home hahah. kauz, dun have original mtv, oni pirated 1. err, when i sang those sad songs, i wonder if i affected my boi. cos when he sang those sad songs, i really scared he will jus weep suddenly.

den after tat, oh ya, at the ktv, i came at 1255pm. told the counter ger i there, den more ppl came, n she let them in first. ARGHZZ!! ok after ktv, went to arcade there.. play game like no need money like tat. jus scan the card like so songzz. well, hehe, they got offer mah, topup 20$ get 20$ credit free. ok loh :) so, bought 40$ worth credit, n spent 25$ on arcade, trying to finish the romance of 3 king game. hahaha... even ppl around us were staring n looking at our stage. i not good player, but my boi managed to send mi thru the astages.. haha, we managed to survive to the last stage haha...

den went to shop for the frn's gift. wah, took quite some tiemt o decide on the clothes. den hor was waiting for the counter ger to wrap things up. but i feel tat, she is tending the register, n gonna wrap my gift. y her colweague dun help? n hor, seeing hwo bz she is, i almost wanna self serv to wrap the gift. my boi, surpised tat i know how to wrap gift. i told him, as long as the action dun need follow procedures, n can welcome creativity, i can try. haha. but he dun lemme. hahha.. the reason, i dun thinki wnana say LOL.. haha, nowadays, i got a number of things hiding hahah...

(jus rmb the spider tat cohabitate wif mi) oh ya. the spider!! these days, i got a spider in my room!!! forming a web at the corner of my cupboard!!! aiyo, it sure cant get food 1 lah. but hwo do i tell him tat.......

den at the bday there, got a few fam,iliar face from sgboy whcih i know, but i din greet them lah. i'm no longer tat chatty guy anymore. will be slower in knowing new guys these period. cos i know, i cna chat, no prob. but later on, i'll be 2 tired to maintain the chattiness n not b so frnly to them. but i'll still tok propelry when ppl tok to mi. den saw a SHORT BENG. he's really short, n sport those beng look. i bet his body got a certain shape =P my boi had wanna intro him to mi. but i dun realyl see the need, cos i not gonna see him anymore after bday.

had been pretty chatty wif those frns of my boi, whom i familiar with. haha, had quite enjoyable time wif them. esp when i know they have good impression of mi haha. but i realised, when we at bday, the short beng n mi sittign opposite each other. my boi say he quiet kind. den mi, i oso dun wish to strike any chat at all. so, it's awkward haha. we sitting n facign, but dint ok at all. his frns r really those kiddy n fun ppl hahah.

later, my boi declined invitations from the bday boi to go mahjong but wanna b wif mi to my hse. eheh ok. den suddenly, i rmb my Oz pal, is back, n wonder where he is. he will be coming town in an hrs time. my boi say he ok to mi my frn, ok loih. den walked over to meet him.

woow, long time din see, to mi, he kinda slimmed down a bit. i gave him a hug. but it din feel natural, cos he not prepared. hahah. trust him to b australian-ised. later went to various places to chill out. finally settled somewhere not so crowded. we (mi n frn) bitched n joked n teased each other as normal. den my boi was trying HARD to get into frn's good books. den hor, is the waiter thinking we dun intend to get a drink at all?? we sat there for 10 minuteo or even 20, but no 1 came up. we even signalled at them!

finally, 1 came, n my frn got sarcastic haha. oh ya, at the buying of pants on fri, have i put on wt, thx to my boi's generousity wif food?? cos, i usually wear 29" jeans, but when i tried 30", it seem ok oso... hahah. this time, i paid for the drinks, n my frn actually commented "i luv ya".. i was stunned. kauz. den as we changed venues, 1 guy actually tried to pick my frn up by asking some boliao n stupid qns. siaoz.

after these, i sent my frn to our usual hangout to ... hehheh. on our way home, we were holding hands all the way hahaha...

now is time to sleep.

today is my bro engagement day. so i took 1 day leave. not for him FOR SURE. cos his day is 12pm leh, den dunno wat time end. later rush back work like siaoz.

haha, last night JO 1 time, n this morning, jus wanna do it again, n viola. reached the place in no time. den hor, funny. my dad was criticising my mum in front of mi, sayin she sia sway herself by doign some thigns. i defended her, tat she no exposed to such things b4. den oso arranging for my day outing. the party world hor, strange. i got a coupon for 4 free hours. call them to check, they say, for the drink tit n fruit, i still pay 33$. WAT?!?!

ask my boi call them for normal rate. it's still 30+. huh? den wat diff??? kbox much better.

den later, sadzz. my dad was chattign mi abt my pay. trying to ask abt my salary. he ask 3 times liao. i avoided 3 times oso. but he dun get the hint n still wanna know. he encourage mi to apply credit card. i know i dun need yet. he say apply card liao den better image. wah liao.. as he saying so, i was looking other places, tired of toking to him. den while he toking, i went off to walk around. later complained to my aunt.

later hor, i din even take his transport back home. den all teh way go partyworld liao. hhaha, den my oz pal called mi. he's back in singapore. :)

the party world there hor, the guy who took mi into room is SO Beng n haha.. hwop nice if he apply to be PR :) i hope to have him in the room siazz.. later my boi came. n we had fun singign to each other :) haha, duringt hsi session, i kinda know him better haha.. n gosh for dinner, we went to seoul buffet, n it's so DAMN EX!!!!!!! my pocket burn hole liao.. wah liao, nex fri den pay day... how i gonna survive??

sometimes, i really find us quite cute, we have diff views of thigns. his is more to peaceful n forgiving n accomdating. mine is more to protective of my personal space n rights.

as the time passes by today, many thots came to my mind. like, as i login from my family there to blog, i saw i dun have pic on blog yet. shld i post mine? i had decided to post it when i thot of it jus now, feeling tat i attached liao, n i have more confidence in my looks. but now, i still cant decide LOL.

anyway, somehow, my blog on monday wasnt sent to my email. i thot i din post it. but i rmb i did blog. so on tues, haha. now i cant rmb wat happened. ok, the temp guy on mc. den we gossiped n chatted. got 2 thigns tell. snr got 2 busy, n fat sup wanna mi...

gosh, i think i mus make it a point to blog everyday. my memory is either failing mi, or the happenings on tues din leave much impression on mi. anyway,. jus wanna say, had dinner wif my boi n his frn. sighz, some unexpected hapened. had a hard time fixing it. those hard times, really had some bad thots abt it, but i decided to still keep to my stand :) i 90% wun tell. dun bother asking. n my boi is uspposed to tell his frn some truth haha..

den wednesday, quite a fun day. cos my snr actually asked mi to go lunch. oh yam wanna apologise to someone lah. i know he read my blog, but dunno if regularly anot. ok, usually, when oni my snr in office, she usuaully dun wan lunch wfi mi 1. i prep for it liao. so at near 11am, i msg asomeone from yahu grp. he wanna go lunch wif mi. ok good. den later at 1245pm. i abt to go n meet him liao. i went to tell my snr, i going lunch liao. den she say "i abt to finish liao, wait for mi lei" wah. i was stunned!!!!

first tiem she ask mi wait for her!! err, den i panicked. shld i tell her, i meeting antoher person for lunch, n go, or i ask her to join us? wah liao... somehow, these 2 seem so jialut. cos she dunno him, den he oso mayb 2 closetted to see a new ger. finally, i decided to lunch wif snr. den i called him, he din ans. i msg him "my boss got a proj last min, cant go lunch". phew... ya it's bad of mi lah..

den after work... oh ya, on tues, really rushed down from work to meet my boi for movies siazz.. after alighting from the bus, i ran, or rather walked at a speed i enver tried b4 in my office shoes. in end, heels pain :) as i reaching the place, i almost panting. umm, it seem tat, every western show, the lead actor MUZ hae a topless scene, no matter wat. mr smith, brad was topless in the fierst scene. Kig of heaven, Orlando topless in midst of movie. den batman oso same. seem like sex sells for guys oso haha. no strip, no stand out =P

on wed after work, i supposed to send my boi to gym. but he got OT. den walked all way to his ffice. liaozz.. den oni i realise his office SO FAR... when i walk wif him, i din feel the dist, but when alone,.. wah liao... haha, so qiao, tat we still manage to meet LOL. sighzz, due to a slip of tongue on sat, (i duno wat made mi say tat. really my thinking, cos i 2 tired, or wat?) he now go on diet, but his tummy cant takle it. end up, so sickly sounding. FINALLY, i managed to persuade him to carry on his normal diet!!!!! YES!!!

*music starts...* Celine Dion comes out. She belts out: The power of LUV

but cos he took my words seriously, he stil lwanna diet. so now, he will graudlaly reduce his intake :)

oh ya, i still haven't gotten my money from the temp guy yet. he supposed to return mi money wed night 10pm, but no news .... sighzz..

replying his comments/blogs...

my boi, no need to say "less stupid". it's jus how i grew up, n learnt things, so i was jus... woke-up mood? tat y i had a machine gun? :)

sometimes, when u r trying to say something to pruposely spite mi, i'll b unhapy loh. but i dun rmb anything tat u have been unhappy about..

" ur blog is the first document I read once I reach office " i thot it's the last 1??? so u can take time to reply?

"u would only want to transfer out when ur dept totally sucks rite" nope, for a change of env as well mah...

"dardar would be super turned on by Brad Pitt." ahha, every time he in skimpy attire, i'll try to look n observe haha

"Dec mentioned that u look gd to him and he commented that u r a very nice guy and he can sense that u would be very nice to me. In short, he's happy for me that I got u as my bf. hehe... I am also happy that I got such a nice bf like u loh. Muackz" LOL

"Be nice to ur friend lah since he's making the first effort to chat with u loh" abt my sec frn right? oh well... tell u te bg sometime later

"Maybe it was a wrong choice of me to turn up and wait for u lah. " HEY, it's not bad to turn up, i appreciate it. but then, i jus caught oof guard.. dunno how to intro.. like wat u say in blog.. i'm not kauzzing u tat u showed up suddenly..

why i wanna try missed connection? wat's the purpose? if to b frns, things can proceed slowly. if to b reln, i oredi got 1.

hehe, after celebrating out month-old anniversary, will discuss abt it.. haha, shall we bring th "baby" along? LOL

anyway, wif the temp guy gone, and the young lady (who is so damn sharp in her words) done, i waiting for work life area to be improved..

today is really monday blues.. in the real way. morning was alright. got to work. den whole day was busy. den the temp guy, din tok much wif him. i find tat, i'm really bad at politics!! if i unhappy wif someone, i realyl dun tok to him siazz.. others can still tok n chat, but mi, i jus silent. lunch hours came. i thot of, once again, ask to join snr n guy. but no chance. later they moved off. 1 colleague who going for lunch oso, patted mi to go along. den i went wif them... i thinking, if he din ask mi along, will i still join?

den later, after lunch, i asked the temp guy for the money. wha liao, he say he n gf had argument. den almost lose temper wif mi, thinmking i kaypoh into wat happened between them. siaoz. i oni ask why the argument wif her caused him unable to return mi money. he say he gave his atm card to his gf. no matter wat, by this wk, i muz get back my money.

den later, crammed wif work. but enoyable. although dun have time to read papers, well at least i doing office work to occupy myself. den laater, i met my boi again. but this time, it's not those happy happy type... more to understanding n sorting our diff'es... sighzz... i know he's serious abt us. but i hope nothign bad will happen. i got home, n mum cooked porridge. almost din wanna eat. but after having first bite, i decided to jus finish it. not tat enmjoyable meal...

wah liaoz, realyl monday blues siazz.. on my way home, i chatted wif my boi. realised wat went wrong. he said i showered too much concern over him. he feel bad abt it. to him, i put in too much, while he feel he din deserve it. in a way, somehow i think it's bcos i... dun feel secure myself in a relation? jus like.. my work? i kept working n giving my best at work. lack toking to cooleagues, din strike rapport.

for relns, havign a few failed ones, i kinda.. think it's better to be CONCERNED over him, so he will feel loved. n usually, i'll b concerned n caring abt him, n dun wan him to b disadvantaged. so will give him all the best. but tat seems not he way it works... guess i need to be more relaxed?

tis 1 oso...

proof of enjoyment of time... hahah, ya caught her in action tat day... :)

if i not wrong, i slept at 1+am. den woke 7am to prep for my swim. wah, yes tired, but i wanna swim. cos swimming is exercise, n the treated water seem to help my face. wah long time din go swim laioz. i din really get to enjoy the time there, since i dun have all the time to myself. haha, am i seekign some excitement? not sexuall,y but the challenge. cos, ok as i wil go meeting after swimming, i cant wear slippers. so i wore those jogging shoes. but scared it drenched in water, so i din close the door while bathign ahhaah. but i took the corner cubicle lah. not those openf or viewing tyep ;)

aiyozz, meeting supposed to start 11am, but sup came oni at near 12. den fat sup worse, came near 1pm. all of us, yes including mi, r surprised to see him. n was thinking like, his presence is obsolete. after a while, we went for lunch.

during lunch, we discussed n gossiped. oni den we came to know tat, the temp guy, is a CHEAT n LIAR.
1) he sold things for mi in may, but till now, still havent got back the money.
2) he havent return snr her money of 200+$.
3) he agreed to meet 2 of my colleagues, but din turn up at all
3) he lied about himself.
4) he wanna get mi into investing biz, sayin he treat mi as good frn, someone he wanna keep contact. ask mi pass him 3k to invest. guarantee money back in 3 mths, during whcih he's wif the company. but, i heard from sup, he quitting in the coming wk. oni 2 mths. n the way he rushing mi tat time, was almost giving mi no timet o consider. luckily i rejected.

i hope other ppl wun get cheated.

den, i went to meet up my boi. he treated mi to our "fav" meal outlet haha. hahah, there hor, we chatted n gossiped. n LOL, *paiseh lah, feel 2 much like writing it out* i dino he learnt acrobatic!!! but acutally, on my way to meet him, i was oredi.. hehe, almost ready to concuss... when i first took his call, i wasn't even sure how i supposed to tok to him. later accompanied him to LAN games n stayed there for hours. heh, our actions there, SO damn obvious tat something is going on between us. cos he sitting on chair, den i sitting at such angle as tho i protecting him haha. got stares here n htere, now n den loh. but of cos, i was dozing off.

jus wanna spend time, b wif him, later tok wif his frns, n cos coming wk, i dunno how to plan our meetings liaozz..

when his game finalyl ended, i was a bit jus woke up feeling. hha, can i mention his frn's.. or didi name here?? haha, he got a didi called pika. but i simply feel like calling him pikachu LOL.. still rmb the volleyball game :) haha, i can click wif him :) cos.. ehhe, he n i toking abt exercising. he say saw soemone at gym b4. the way tat someone gym is so much like a rat. ahha, den i chipped in. luckily there's no cat around =D n we excahnged pointers on hwo to improve our suaning skills LOL..

some of his frns are quite nice looking. havign such outigns is certainly better than meeting up pl for frnship. ya, no need to elaborate. n hor, ever since i understand more abt my way of making frns, n my character, i dun feel so bad n sad anymore when i failed to know ppl, or ask ppl out for meals. but i'll stil lgive it a shot. thx to my boi :) now, havign understood how my person is, i'm better prepared for workdays, but still pressured byu my studies.............

tat's all folks!

updating my blog on a sunday. quite tired now. felt as though i missed LOTSA sleep. but these days have been pretty happening. my last update was on thurday. or thur wee hrs.

anyway, i forgot wat happening. but on thurs, my boi is taking halfday off, so i met him for lunch. later, met up again for dinner.

on fri, supposed to be jus a normaly working day. can rmb 3 thigns tat happened. in morning, the guy is off to work elsewhere. so for lunch, i asked my snr, in front of fat sup, n 1 more colleague, i asked snr. snr is alright for lunch. den we went off. hahah, along wif us is a yandao guy wif a cutie face!!! very often he'll come our office, but i no chance to tok to him. ahha,. today he having lunch wif mi!!! wow!!! i was practically looking at him all the way!! yandao hair, cute face, beng style haha. WOW. if he's my colleague, he'll be my motivation tor each office everyday =D

den after tat, sighzz... a blunder, a silly n coc blunder. so, kena a complaint letter. fat sup say he went over to boss there to explain. n boss say "nvm lah". somehow, i think it's cos of some thing tat i did, tat the boss say "nvm". cos we have 1 case, whcih we email to an ISP, but no reply from them. so i called them up n managed to resolve the problem. ahah, perhaps the boss know i doing my work, n tat compalin letter is nopthing much, so he bochap. but of cos i know i shld tkae note fo the things lah, dun make any more mistakes.

den hor, after this, i overheard fat sup say my agent coming over to tok abt probation mater. so i thot, wah kauz, at this tiem, when i accidentally blundered, n the guy coming over. aiyozz sianzz.. no chance to ask for pay rise. i even thot: due to this, will i b sacked? but later, i convinved mysself that, nothing will happen. cos it's oni a small mistake. ppl always learn from them. so wat if i made mistake? jus learn from it. n till now, they din find any1 to replace mi yet, so i guess i still safe. den at the tok, well, ok loh, my sup den suggest i shld read up on HR stuf. to brush up my skills.

n den hor, when i returned to office, the young lady said "eh, u leaving ah?" wif a grin. i "huh?".

den 3rd thign is, i met up wif my sec sch frns. saw 1 of them. den chatted up. wif this guy, i dun have much to chat lah. but at least tok a bit. den went over to dinner place there. saw our sec couple. the guy waved at the frn. n we joined them in the queue. from then on, i seem to be neglected. we went in to sit. had a short discussio fo wat we wanna buy. den off we went. i wanna fish, so queued up at the stall. den the ger (of the couple) came over. i saw her, she smiled, i smiled back,. n chatted a bit. den, i thot, we are long time frns. since we are meeting up, why not b happy n enjoy the meeting>? loosen up n enjoy the time!! ahah, do i asound fake?

den the bad thing happened. or the fake mi.

1 sec frn of mine, who MIA for donkey years. he came. i n him met up a few month back. tat time i simply dun feel the need to tok to him,. i think i mentioned here b4. den today we here again. i still dun feel like toking to him. i really dunno how to react. he came over n patted my shoulder, "hey *** how are you" n went to sit down. i simply dunno wat to tok to him. he tok i tried looking at him, but still turned my eyes away secs later.

in end, i look to his direction but to his side. dun look at him directly. i oso din bother replying to him. he din ask mi anythign lah, but i simply dun wana join in conversations he started. i did tok n chat wif other ppl. at times he was even bored, n sat there, staring n hearing us oni, unable to chip in. den he'll suddenly ask the ger, who is always welcoming n approachable, some quetions, breaking his silence. if ppl are attentive, or rather observant enuff, they will notice i am not tat frnly toward him anymore.

i simpyl feel he's no longer worth my 3ffort.

however, when he offered to buy su thigns, i chipped in to say "i not getting any". usually, i'll jus ignore, i tink. but this time, i pretended nothing happened. for the first time, i feel so fake.

haha, den i saw my boi standing outside, waiting for mi!?! i was stuned!! n aiyozz, i dunno wat to do. he there, my frns oso there. intr him to frns, or dun intro, or jus ask him wait outside for mi?? wah liao... anyway, he walked mi to my busstop. there, i saw 2 guys. 1 is quite good looking. i noticed they lokoing at our direction for some time liao. n suddenly, th good guy waved n said "hello" towards our direction. his frn asked "wat u doing". haha, the good guy was paiseh. umm, do i know tat guy?? or he';s my boi's frn??

anyway, mum got cook, so went family there for dinner again, n went home to sleep. gosh, next day got meeting leizz... n my first tiemt o get back to my room afte 12 am. tmr still wanan go swimming. haha, so rushing.

You Gotta Be

Des'ree

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead, release your fears
Stand up and be counted. Don't be ashamed to cry

Herald what your mother said
Read the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view

Time asks no questions
It goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can't stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
Can't stop it if you try to
The best part is danger staring you in the face

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try to keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead, release your fears

You gotta be
You gotta be bad
You gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard
You gotta be tough
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool
You gotta be calm
You gotta stick together
All I know all I know love will save the day

so now's today's post. last night, i slept at 1230. or is it 130? cos i heheh.. once again... err, am i proud of it, or jus open abt my acts? well, i JO'ed :) den morning, i woke at 624am but got off bed at 702am. din feel awake. why har? maybe if i ever wake up earlier i shld try to get off bed to see if i still tired or wat.

right now, i still got 4 chapters to finish up. hehe, today, i did a few things whcih wil help to improve our work. 1, i suggested something. 2, i saw there's a flaw in system, n discussed with my team. =D well, today, 2 bad, guy is not aroound, den snr i think stil dun wan lunch wif mi oni. anyway, i went to buy money order first. the lady, or old or 30+ 40 lady, was there. wah liao, i ask her wat name i shld write as the benefit. she keep saying make sure it's the correct name of the place. den she had the cheeck to tell mi i dun have enuff money for order. HUH?? she den went off to do things, n i had wnana go for lunch first, but they say will be ready.

oh gosh, i reported loss of bank book some time back. den now they say without it,cant proceed. n wanna replace, muz pay 15$ admin. gosh. dun think i wanna pay for somethign tat i wun use .will find a way out. but the whole process took 30mins!!! when, if an exp taff do, oni 10 mins!!! waste my time! so my first time to lunch at 130pm :P i msg a guy, but he din reply yet til this late hr still not yet. hurried back to work. by this mth, i MUZ buy new pants. shirt is optional.

den at work, my colleagues mentioned about those sexual stuff. haha, i'm not out n open to them about myself. i feel so entrapped. sighzz... is this how a closetted guy feel? to the stage i feeel i always hiding soemthing from them. alright, they are pretyt open abt the sexual stuff. gay les, anal plug, lubricnt. oral. inches. i wonder if it's alright for mi to suddenly come out to them. cos they tok ger guy sex stuff, i nothingt o say. n i no sex jokes to tok. but i AM paiseh'ed by some terms they use haha.

den later, tiem to KO. somehow i wonder if my boss still being hostile to mi. cos today got snr n young lady leave early. when i wanna leave early (in probation period), he say muz at least inform him weeks back. den i went to meet my boi. ahah, will send him to gym every odd day. hahah. we never get tired of meeting each other daily!!! LOL. we can always tok some crappy nonsense haha..

um,m, a confession. these days, at times, i seem to lose control of my eyes. i sometimes will tend to look at guys siazz.. but hor, i do have soemthign to tell my boi, 2 bad no chance... esp when he became moody.. he calle dmi during charmed On-air timing. almost din wanan pick. but i din realise tat, at his 2nd time mentining of him facing problem, i coudl actually suggest to rush down in cab to find him, skippign my charmed. i rmb from "hermia" and "lysander" that, "course of true love never runs smooth". but muz it happen so fast?? is this supposed to be a test? set by... heaven? heaven refer to 2 thigns :)

but no mater wat i hope my boi will ge tover things. dun wan blog too late... reply hsi comments another day.

i know the line is mushy, but...

I believe we are meant to be together. Listen to this song: Des'ree - You Gotta Be. Pay attention to the chorus.

1 last thing, somehow when something mess up my mood, i really.. have a little trouble getting over it. unless soemone who know mi break it for mi. my boi claled mi to tok. i was askin him 1 thing. den he "hinted" mi the answer. but to mi, that's no answer loh. say = din say. n he carried on toking abt other thignss. i still ding et reply to my first qn. watever he say, i oni "ok". cos i still stuck at first topic, waiting a proper reply. whne he finally told mi, i at loss of wat to say liaozz.. not sure if he's enjoying time wif his frn, till he din pay attention to my question?

oh ya, now i finally agree wif my boi,. he once told mi, i'm a peanut/durian. my appearance look intimidating n fierce, but if u really get to know mi better, u'll see the good side of mi. born an introvert, (i think when got time, i put tis part inside my hpg oso) i am trying to break out of my no-frn situation. but without the proper social skills, i somethimes try too hard. i either tried 2 hard to be easy going, protective of myself, or too open for ppl to accept. perhaps i'm easily influenced by my company? if the ppl around mi r in serious tone, i'll be. i they are in cheerful mood, i'll crap wif them too...

last night, watching the recorded show of yuan lai jiu shi ni. watching out for hong ci jian to appear. n oso, the ch U 730pm show, i thot today got the macho guy topless scenes. sianz.. i think i missed mon's ep, so missed it. sianzz

anyway, workload today heavier a bit lah. ok, got some thigns which i wann say.
1) lunch
but i think i oni rmb this thing. i was supposed to have lunch appt wif my frn. he called mi abt 10 like dat, asking wat time i can go for lunch. i told him my lunch hour is 1pm ,n i going to bank there first. den he said, "in this case, we meet other days, cos i muz hurry back office by 2pm." i was thinking ,huh? time is arrange by the holders, if bank is crowded or soemthing, i shld b able to do somethign abt it. it does not mean i die die muz go bank, but it's jus on my mind." he said i'm odd. perhaps?

we still met for lunch, but hor wah liao.. my lunch i left at 1 pm, den he came at 1.15 telling mi he last min got call. we were walking fine n toking ok. jus toking. den inside the canteen, he took a BIG table. i was surprised. anyway i sat on it. i ask him go buy first, cos i know he need to look around. he came back wif his order, but waved at mi to sit somewhere nearer. i felt "oh gosh, switch seat in the midst?" when i got to that table, somehow, i lost my chat mood. he keep toking, but i have nothing to contribute. jus 1 liner. no mood to tok at all. at 150pm, he wanna buy some deserts. i was oredi panicking inside mi. my lunch is 1pm, normal timing to 1 hr. now 150pm. wat's he tinking? in end, i had to ask him to leave, so tat i wun b late. he late rask if my office need to login.

somehow, i feel tat, if something doesn't go according to planned, my mood may be messed up. oh ya... almost forgot!

i watched movie wif my BOI!!! watch Mr n mrs smith. quite interesting. but same thing, boring at first. err.. watched it wif his frn, or rather my ex-rival? hehe, n their frn, a ger. upon meeting, i duno... maybe i seldom meet gers, or they know i gay so no pt in chatting up wif mi. so, this ger, n my boi's colleague. upon meeting, din tok much wif mi lah. can say in the 3 hrs together, we din tok > 5 lines. n as she's on the ex-rivak's side, somehwo i feel tat she is trying to separate mi n my boi from walking together. cos i cna feel tat she is trying to walk beside him, pushing mi to the front, whiel the rival behind them. haah. bit funny thing is, jus b4 entering cinema, my boi ensured i'm right beside him, even pausing going into cinema jus to have mi beside (grins).

while we inside, i realise we din buy any snacks. so i went out to buy n went back into the cinema haha. we bought honey chick, had wnana eat inside, but hor, i thot, kauz, it's sure got gravy. how do we eat?? so the movie started. ya took popcorn all the way. hehe, i'm prepared to pay more attention to my face

during the show, it's pretty nice. n some of my boi's words (copied from my blog) kinda made mi so paiseh. so when brad got topless i was kinda happy, but din last long as nothign happened. but 50% of the time, he was SOOO sexy n charming!!! OOzes SOO much sex appeal!!!! especially some of his postures!! in those shorts... WOW!!! the paper did say Angelina did the role well, but brad din, cos it seem like he's doing another Ocean series. but i feel he did good. if brad did get out of his Ocean role, angelina din too. cos, the way she was dressed up, i NEVER weatched tomb raider, but she bore a STRIKING RESEMBLANCE to Lara croft cartoon ger!!!

the story si quite nice though :) quite twisting, but exagg hahah..

"maybe I am not fated to give u a surprise" nope, more to... u dunno if ur surprise will work, so hehe, tend to test water first. ahha, den i kinda guessed wat u up to LOL

"at least reply to ur comments ba... " if u really busy, jus carry on ur stuff. we can always call to tok... esp when we meet every 2 days :)

"I am really glad to have u as my bf and I do know that dardar is very very nice to me liao. Muackz... " the feeling is mutual :) jus tat at times, i overly concerned abt ur well being...

"oh ok... didn't know u dun classified them as friends, as in u still have party friends. haha..." i seldom tok to them. esp now when i quit going to the party, i wonder if got chance to even meet them up.

"u got lunch buddies liao but then again she's a gal" so wat she gal?? unlss u dun mind mi meeting yandaoz n cuties?? LOL

"I would be sticking to u and paying special attention to u loh" ahha, u wrote this line few days back... hahah...

"when I saw u dashing across the road" cos i in hurry to see u?

"Some of them do read ur blog lah, I guess but I never ask who they are" den how u know they read??

" I thot u would not be so crappy liao when u r so hungry" dunno lei, i was famished. but when i ate bit of thigns, i got energy liao, n started to crap haha

"I am not gd at LAN loh. Always get killed by the rest" cos u were ganged up against mah. if not, how can u b killed? maybe next time i i can, i'll team up wif u haha

"It's quite obvious that he's checking u out loh" does tat person know u toking abt him?? today, i actually intended to ask my sup to gimme more thigns to do. mabye tmr i'll try

================

wah, superman siazz. good face, good bod, trainer some more. later train till u cannot tahan haha... he oso wif u guys today right? den tell him ur $$ thing, n see if he can do something for u guys?

i dun agree wif dec. looks n body is impt in sex. how does personality come in?? if it's LTR, den it dun apply to jus AJ circle.personality more impt, looks is first impression, body is bonus (haha, like urs truly!!)

hey, u not lousy lah, jus tat it's ur first tiemt o get ur bf to meet ur kakis right? so at times, u may not know how i fele mah. i know someone is sticky to u, so at times, , yes oni at times, i hope u entertain him, but dun ignore mi until like i oni there to accompany u guys... cos there a diff between our status...

anoter possible reason is, ur boss may jealous abt ur performance n popularity?

i woke up 5 mins earlier than usual, cos i wanna try to be earlier. but, i still end up leaving house at almost same time. got to work in a sleepy mood. time passed as usual. tis time, snr was sitting beside mi, so i tookt he chance to tok wif her, tok abt despo housewife, some chn shows hehe. den later i made it a pt to ask the guy n snr if they can wait for mi go lunch. hehe, the guy say "anything". during the lunch hor, haha, joked wif them. sexuall oso. the guy was purposely kicking my shoe, wanan "turn mi on". haha, i den retaliated by learning from despo housewife: usign my leg to caress him hahah.

den we shopped around. i think tmr i having lunch wif a frn, will go buy some new pants. n pay for my studies. deadline is this fri. but, hehe, i really muz thx my boi for really taking the effort to ensure i really go n lunch wif my colelague. usually i'd say, dun worry, i'm ok. know wat i doing. but i know he did it outta concern. i dun wan to discredit him for tis. den during the lunch, the guy oso asked he noted tat i seldom look at gers. haha, i tell him, i look wif my eyes, not my head. only my eyes will dart around.

den later in the day, there was quite some talks abt gay. my jnr keep searching all those gay websites n ask to block access to them. i din respond. when i got home, i ask why no dumplijg tis yr. she say "got, but u never eat oni!" kauz, later i ask her to prepare for mi. she din come out. ok loh, win liao. but mins later, i decided to ask again, but a bit showing displeasure. she say it's ready n in the pot. ya, this is all. oh ya, 1 interesting part is, after lunch, cos i often stand behind snr n guy, snr actually tunred around to see if i still wif them hehe... ok, reply blog n comments..

saturday, to think i actually slept till 11am ahha, ok not sleep till tat time, but woke at 709am, den slept n woke.. till 11am den decided to wake up. hehe, i recorded his fav tv show w/o his knowledge. i was hoping he come over soemtime soon to watch it. haha. den, i went to prep meet him. met him n his kaki n joked here there. but sighz, he too engrossed in chatting wif him tat i really felt neglected. the way they tok, i felt as tho my existence is not felt. i tried to get beside them, but b4 long, i will b "outcasted" to behind them again. well i dunno where they heading, so cant b in front. ya my boi did turn backt o check tat i'm behind them. over lunch, i stayed quiet as result. din even manage to finish my lunch. left abt 1/4 of rice left on my first place. after lunch, had a tok wif my boi, telling him wat actually happened n how i felt. n thing got better. ahha, n met lotsa of his frns siazz..

saw n observed hwo my boi played victoriously in LAN. haha, i doubt i can match him in yearts to come. n ya, a couple of his frns (all YOUNGER than us) r quite fashion concsious, so they do look nice loh. haha, took note of a someone who "purposely" (as desc by my boi) walk over to see how i look LOL. 1 of his kaki claim to have met mi b4 from sgboy. ok, i hink tat's years back. cos i never met ppl from sgboy for at least a yr. oni ppl from irc. maybe i did see him during 1 of the sgboy outings, but tat's really donkey years back. din have much chance to tok to them. altho my boi always blog tat i quiet, but hhaa, i dun expect myself to so keen n go chat wif them. i think my boi may suspect i keen on them. n why will/do i wan to chat wif them on our firt meet? if they wanna know mi, can always part mi wif my boi, n tok to mi mah. isn't it strange if i purposely go n tok to them?

den sent my boi home, n luffed along wif him n his kaki. when i got home, i thot i will have some time to mysef to do my stuff, ahah, but my plan for sunday/sat night "kena spoilt" LOL.. but ya, our concern for each other often get the better of us, till we bicker. n hehe, he wnana surprise mi, but i think he's not used to giving it, so he actually told mi first. but i can feel tat he's really surprisd my by "surprise" cos he really din expect it haahha!!

as we spend time together, strange, for 2 str8 weeks, i been feeling bad as we hug. i feel happy n loved when i get the hug. but it's the wkend. den the next day is workday. on workdays, i feel dejected cos i's hard to get lunch buddies, as till now, 4 months of working, i still need to really ask the snr if they going lunch. i feel paiseh. yes i admit. but 3 bad i not gd at PR. but hehe, got my boi counselling mi hehe. we realyl complement each other in certain ways. like.. a pair made in heaven? LOL... *grin* another things is, the temp guy supposed to return my modem money to mi on sat. i sms him. but he din reply. he's those streetwise guy. i wonder if i can manage to get the money back from him. i'll try my best.

hehe, today, i supposed to iron my work attire in morning, but had to deal wif my boi, so washing of clothes, ironing, n checking email will be delayed. later he sent mi to my aunt's place haha. i din expect ymself to stay so late over there siazz!! thot i reach aunt at 3pm, den do until 6pm at most. cos the modem can work in 2k, shld work in xp. but how come cannot??? argh!! end up 8pm den go off. damn it!!! no time to do wkend stuff again hehe. den the cute boi, hong ci jian (???) will be on ch U tuesday 830 pm show. come to think of it, i ahven't get used to the new schedule of ch U. n my probation ending this tuesday. the guy who came 1 wk earlier than mi, din go to discuss new pay. i saw him getting a letter. i dunno if the letter is for employment, if i hope can get a chance to discuss pay wif them. although, now, i dunno on wat grounds can i ask for more pay. cos my scope isn't widening.

sighzz, guess i'll still try to ask my snr n guy our for lunch. in fact, i can jolly well lunch alone. but, since i can lunch wif my colleagues, y not? n, it is strnage that, if i lunch alone, den see the snr n guy coming later n sitting somewhere, it does feel strange. hehe n ya, found an inconsistency statement from my boi, ehhe regarding looking and expressing my views of guys hahah... i sure make him duizz wif this line hahaha... McDonald's - I'M LOVING IT. =D *muax*

den friday morning, i actually woke up 15 mins late. ya, i woke up n heard the alarm. i think i slept 2 heavily, n din hear it. was wondering wat morning routine i shld skip. if can, i hope dun need to go work.. or rather rush for work, when i wake up late. sighzz. miss my old job.

somehow, i feel tat my sup, not the fat one, was hostile to mi, cos he not sure if i'll stay long anot.. cos my job history quite volatile. but, i kena stuck here mah, i cant leave right? cos today, i was at pantry there, getting my drink as usual. he den entered. normally, he wun speak to mi, will either look at my eyes 0.5 sec n look away, or dun even see. but today, he told mi tat the team waitinf for mi n 1 guy to start meeting. n even opened the door for mi. n giggled wif mi as well, as he pretended to style his hair after opening.

den later, all is fine lah. but somehow, i feel the snr is... kinda trying to get back or trying to be hostile or trying to distance herself from mi.anyway, during the first lunch, cos as i was walking to snr n guy, snr told guy that she can go lunch wif... n pointing towards my direction, n the guy said mi ah, oh.. got lunch apptmt wif mi ah (referring to urs truly). i den just joked along. but i was really hoping it's mi.

later, my timing came. n my snr simply rushed out for lunch. the guy did tease her, why din ask mi along, she replied "i'll b stupid to reply u". well, since she going lunch so hurriedly, i'll go mysef loh. my frn had wanna lunch wif mi, but last min say he not free. sianz. den i went off. but jus when i got down, it rained! damn, i went back office. was asked some qns. "u took ur lunch so fast?" "w/o snr, of cos finish lunch fast" "outside raining ah" "u lunching wif snr or alone".... liao. had jus wanna reply, "i go over find frns. if frns not there liao, i eat alone loh".

well, i guess i shld still stick to asking them first lah. den later, got comp dinner. i thot will be thos usual buffet dinner i take. den was waiting for the ppl to go. i realy dun mind going. can go over see ppl, mix around, eat food. think optimistically. NO LOH. when i got there, or even on my way there, i was so quiet. n wasn't myself. still teh same guy in office who pretended to be innocent, n can't b myself at all. even at the hotel there, oso not comfy n not enjoying the time. i think, if i'm wif my usual frns, i'm quite loud n chatty siazz. i think ahah, once agian, it's proven i'm bad at PR. over there, i can say i dun mind walking around alone, looking around, rather than keep chatting n toking to colleagues. but, well, need to get along wif them.

sometimes, i think, i belong to those, career can suceed, but PR skilsl lack a lot. unable to create proper rapport wif colelagues. oh yea, saw s colleague there, but i bochap him. or we bochap each other,. din tok at all. even when, i went to the busstop he's at, we oso pretend to not see each other.

hehe, will be meetign my boi tmr...

he's here agaibn...

he's still so good looking. somehow i've not been able to stay loyal to the show. i wonder if if i missed his buff scenes...

ya, ytday din blog, cos was simply 2 tired.

on thursday, the more impressionable things were, for lunch, i asked the guy if they going for lunch. n told him, i join them oso. i tried to strike chat, but he not keen. so i din tok more. den for lunch. i know they are preparing to go, so i auto left my seat n waited for them. along the way gossiped and chatted with them. later, i think supposed to have meeting wif team. i thot oni short while, but they got the boss here. seeing tat the time reachign 630, i msg my boi tat i'll be late, cos got meetng. sighzz.. almost thot i no "yuan" to meet my boi's kakis. cos i duno how long will it last?? they gonna watch movie at 715, but 630, meeting not ending yet!?!

but in the meeting, discussed abt some issues. the boss say they wan ppl who dare to speak up. well, once i understand the process flow, i'll feedback to them loh. or, maybe i'll say some more. haha, 2 ciomplex to say. but during the meeting, wah kauz, the fat boss got bombarded. 1 issue was specifically abt him, n he kena bombed. can see how bad his status is in our office. our office got 7 staff. 1 asst boss. 2 sups. 1 boss. 2 of the 7 staff bombard him. asst boss question him n hint hint oso. fat sup kena bombed. other sup ppl accept him. wah liaozz.

1 funny thing is, kinda known to us, he play game at the back of the office, where his pc is. but of cos no 1 admit. the asst boss got ask whether ppl can play games anot. boss say cannot. den the fat sup even ask, "but after office hrs can right?" wah liao, at this, all of us laughed!!! wah liaoz, almost like telling us he's the one playing games siazz!! of cos he keep denying.

wat more, if i din rmb wrong, in morning, i n 1 staff went to look for office key. cant find. den the fat sup, went n found, n told us, the key is on the desk, but hidden in a corner. huh??? LOL.

alright, after the meeting, wentt o meet my boi. i was late, so i rushed, ran, walked quickly. haha, i even dashed across the traffic LOL. kena scolding by my boi. i jus dun wan to let his frns wait mah. heeh, met his frns. from how they tok n share food, i know how close they r. n a couple of them are.. i think jealous somehow ;) den hor, we suposed to meet somewhere near. i thot will have dinner there. in end, we moved for 1 hour before settling down some place to eat. wah liao, i was SOO hungry siazz. oni got strength to tok wif my boi. really. no bias intended, but i dun wan waste my energy toking to others, but jus wanna focus on chatting wfi my boi.

den hor, when eating dinner, oso got lotsa jokes. but along the way, haha, i know my boi's kakis will read my blog.. but i dunno who is who yet lah. ya along the way, i do find 1 of the kaki cute heheh. ok, when eating dinner, cos i veli hungry, my boi cooked some thigns for mi. i took some bites, n started to charge my body wif energy liao.. n haha, started to b crappy LOL.

dinner finally over, i was totally FULL, escorted my boi n his kakis to mrt n i went off. on the bus, i dun think i read my bk. whenig ot home, kauzz, i took off my lens, dun even wish to bath. jus wanna go sleep... aiyozz, din even think of msg'ing my boi...

"Just that I was damn surprised when u call me up loh" ya i guess so, cos i was using my office ph mah :) actually, i got the place liao, but the bldg name.. haha did i write down or did u say?

"I would never allow u to raise ur foot to kick her foot/leg loh." hehe, den how u expect me to sit? or shift to other places?

"I was saying "I know u r into SM..." u got say meh??? i oni rmb u say "can u let go of my shirt?" maybe u say "if not, u may break it".

"I am happy that we never fail to put that aside" haah, when 2 ppl who never leaves LTR issues over night get together, nothign is impossible!! jus need some giving n taking :)

super star? nope, the audtion for both ch U n choir fell thru. sighzz..

"1st time was having the dinner at ur friend's place" i dun really take tat as meeting my frns. cos they more to party frns, those party.

I was stunned when i saw "dardar feel sad while spending time with me". ahha, jus suddenly thot of thow tuff it's for mi to find ppl for lunch loh. today is a success. hope thur will b good oso. see first. fri, lunch wif my frn. n, i seldom mention names of the place si been to. i know where they are, but i dun wan mention them. cos i dun wan ppl to know where i been.

"the person had a bad day and he just happen to take it out on me" err, i'll take it the person does not know how to behave properly. but take it out on my boi?? gosh, no way... nope, May bills high, cos i dial wrong charity line, n called my Oz frns to chit chat. usually around 70$.

haha,, reading ur posting of ur name n mine, i rmb soemthing. my sup wanna us chang password. i chose 1. the hitn for this password is ur name :) "it comes with an engagement ring" huh?? wah, still mentioning tat.. aiyo, tmr skali ur kakis tease mi for "buying" u such cheapo ring. haha, but it's the thot tat counts :P

"to see this attractive guy that I am attached to..." jaahha,, u keep giving ppl such lines, wait they got some expectations.. i din meet den they... #!@$$@# LOL wah say, now ur frns oso read my blog. i wonder if mine read ur ;) it's ok, jus tell mi watever u feel alright to let mi know.

btw, u wanna change from "Get a lean toned body" to toned? and why u remove samuel's old blog n sam blog? my sweet boi, glad u finally meeting ur kakis up!!! but i'm alrgiht to meet them loh, as long as u feel comfy :) u sacrifice ur time to be wif mi, i can oso join u wif ur frns mah :) thsi fri, i meeting sec frns.. not confirme dyet. but after tat, i'll check how i gonna schedule my time wif u.

dec's frn, she cant spare a thot for her bf?

now is 1237am. hehe, early time to sleep LOL..

a lot of things to say for today. in fact, from the time i wake up, i feel it's gonna b a gd day. i wana blog tat, but morning, i decided not to blog. a sudden feeling.

got to work as normal. den, when i got chance when oni the guy, n jnr colleague in office, i asked the guy if wanna lunch later on. ok, he's going off, wun b back for lunch. ok. den, i decided to try the snr. snr is bit bz, but i still asked wat time she going lunch. she say after all users attnded, will go. ok. den, when she done liao, n back in ofice, wif 1 fat sup, n her n mi, i asked if she wanna wait for mi go lunch. i decided this will b the better approach: wat time u going for lunch? wanna wait for mi go? rather than "wanna lunch wif mi?". she say ok. ahha, i was kinda happy inside mi :)

den later, our lunch time came. i heard her call someone, telling her not ready yet. later jnr colleague asked why i not lunch yet. i told her i waiting for snr. den snr said "wait a while more". i was happy haha. she was almost standing up for mi, telling tat i got lunch appt wif her liao haha.. ok i have to admit i not good at handling such PR things lah. so, such simple thigns i kinda happy. u know, abt 11am, i ask someone from the tech dept, if they wanna go lunch. but they wanna go those ex place. n it's wif their own dept ppl. i thot, it's dept ppl, not jus 1 or 2 guys. if i join them, but not my own team, will be so sia suay n cause gossips to fly. so i decided to try my luck to ask my colelague. phew, my efforts paid off!!

but i thot, we gonna find someone first. i din expect, oni we 2 lunch oni! haha, do i sound like i'm courting her?? LOL. tok to her quite a lot of things. including my family problem - mi n bro stuff, moving out, studies, etc. i dun mind letting her know. at least to show i'm ready to chat, open abt mi, n can have topics to chat. n gossiped wif her abt the fat sup.

ok, here comes the politics. the lunch politics is small, kiddy issue. now come the big 1. n i learn abt staff mgmt here. colelagues are all unhappy tat he keep sending emails here n there, mkaing everything FORMAL. i qutie ok wif it. cos he wan documentary proof, everythign black n white. but 1 case, which i ask the user to come down, he questioned mi whether i know how to do it anot. i say yes, den he say i can actually do it over ph. "ok" i say. later i check wif jnr n snr. they both say (snr more power of cos) shld ask user come down. but since fat sup say so, let it b.

n wat's more, snr coleague has been doing so much thigns, but fat sup jsu sitting behind, dunno wat's hapepning like tat. even the latest ver of our prog he oso dunno. kauz. got 1 issue, he emailed to the boss (dept sup), my colleague all complained tat he shld not do tat. cos, he can jus say it out n discuss. he even suggested, snr forego all her timeoff privileges since she so busy everyday for discussion. yes, i agree tat snr may b purposely dun wan stay back. but he shld jus discuss timing wif her.

now, he send the email out, i oso advise snr 2 things: 1) if u think u have the reason, fight/talk back. 2) since u cant stop him from sending email, join him. shoot him back. my snr den, together wif 2 other staff, sat at her desk to draft n send out the mail. fat sup replied. know wat? he say "i prefer face-face tok. cos emails r lilel;y to cause confusion." kauzz. he's the one who started off writing those mails.

n during lunch, i told snr tat, i rmb i did the steps correct, n evenc hecked the files. i was hoping to hint to her, i think temp guy got something up his sleeves. but she say (b4 i can hint) the file may b in other ppl's folder, eg "all users". n while we drafting the mail, we were gossiping mah. den fat sup came into office, he walked to his desk in a hussle. for mi, i at first ok wif his styel of working. but gradually, i find it odd too. ok ,when i get a prob, i ask him how to resolve. not sure if he know the problem, but my guess is "NO".

cos, i got a prob, i asked him, he say "can u try to solve it urself b4 asking mi?" haha, den i found the problem n he say "good". but later, still cant proceed. he ask mi immediately ask the program owner. i say i prefer asking snr, as it's my process. he ok. snr say need a certain file. haha, i reallt think, without us, he's gonna b VELI busy asking program owners this n tat.

den on way home, i find it quite qiao, for 2 str8 days, my boi took bus to my office, but everytime he get there, i oredi on my bus liao. but hor, haha, something happened on tuesday which i muz blog. he was asking how i find his txtmt to mi. he ask "do i ever have an issue wif my ex abt food?" den i asked him back "but in the first place, do i ever have a bf who care so much abt mi regarding food, whether i had enuff, n whether it suits mi?" haha, ok, i know ti's hard to get the joke, but the parties involved know n understand LOL. if u wna, u cna ask mi, i'll elaborate :) n his reaction was quite funny. cos the topic/context changed from how avg his txtmt of mi was, to how good he is to mi actualyl. he immediatley got flustered. and guess wat, on the bus on way home on tues, (if i rmb clearly) i giggled when i think of this. even this morning, on way to work, i thot of his reaction, i oso giggled. until i had to pretend i was coughing to avoid paiseh-ness. even today evening, i oso kena it. wah liao, cannot tahan!

oh ya, the temp guy, his PR skilsl quite good i muz say. he got the jnr n young lady hooked up to him. inviting them to his bday party at chinablack. he gonna b here till july. he say dunno whether to renew anot. i think he shld not. well, he did offer some suggestions n improvement to the system. cos he's outspoken, n he working 3 mths. not jus 1.

i got to family for dinner. not tat tasty, but i made myself full by drinking soft drink n takign some bread. wah, channel u showignt he superstar auditions!!! i dare not watch!!!! i scared i paiseh to see myself on screen!!! but i think mine was skipped. cos i saw the guy in my group win den skipped to other scenes.

haha,i think this shld b all for tonight... my boi din blog tonight, i guess i'll reply hs comments?

where shld i start? anyway. pretty tired after getting home. almost felt no energy for anything. jus wanna, either to get a cold drink, get herbal tea, or something. i had softdrink this noon. no idea wat i wanna blog.

this morning, got meeting. got ther eearly. but timing seem pretyt normal sianz. like cheated. morning was quite bz, cos oni mi wokring. the others helping out at training sessions. almost wanna give attitude tat time. but well, the more diverse the situation, the beter n more positive i work, the more i can prove nyself? lunch time, i think the snr colleague not there, so i went for lunch myself. kauz, this time, the place so packed!!! but, ya, i guess i shld still try to find my colleagues for lunch,. either dept colleague, or office.

later went to seach for new pants. this tiem i think i found something i like. but dunno if it's for my age anot. den at the office there, i saw the temp guy at the trainign sesion. den back atmy office, i was asked where did the tmep guy go. i said at the session there. they immediately asked to call him back. wah liao, i felt as though i betrayed him. but, if he's not supposed to be there, why shld he go?

den he came up, passed mi a laptop to do things. i did thigns properly. den when he took it back. he suddenlty exclaimed i missed a step. i rmb i did tat. but soemthing it turned out i may have missed the step. whcih i dun believe. i came back from toilet n it seem the news spread to 80% of my dept colleague. i got a feeling, he getting back at mi. cos he know it's my first time to do it. if he made it as though i missed a step, no 1 will suspect.

this step is to create a backup file on the desktop. i suspect, he deleted it, n removed from recycle bin. sighz

den thsi time, i was given more things to do. like, knowing how to deal wif ppl who r collecting ther laptop. umm, i guess i gotta b more proactive in learning. dun carry on thinking, they';ll train mi up. if got chance, jus go n learn watever they doing. if they wan, let mi learn. if not, i go back my seat.

den later, i had wanna surprise my boi. i know he is going home after work. so i thot of surprising him by waiting for him at his mrt exit. but i decided to call him to pretend. 2 bad, he wnana have dinner n my surprised din work. told him abt a dream tat i had. about dreaming the roger rabbit wif a few frns. was thiking, finnally got a chance to see rabbit topless liao! den suddenly felt tat he's not the 1 i love. 2nd dream, i dreamt of a poly ger who i seldom tok to. she's my classmate n 1 of my poly kaki. this ger was brigning her bf for dinner, n i actually met, or rather saw, some of my sec sch frns... LOL

ya, jus after dinner wif my boi, a "sumptuous" n fulfulling meal, my mum msg mi "i cook u all must eat". wah liao, so strict n angry tone. bobian, i went to family there for a 2nd round,. but i think, my boi's meal was too fulfilling wif the big size drink, tat i almost cant survive the 2nd meal. 2nd meal, i oni took 1 bowl of bee hoon n went off.

err.. dinnno wat to blog, but ended up blogging so much. anyway, reply my emails. pretty tired these days...

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haah, i thot roommate so resourceful n managed to loan a PC from his frns. so that was borrowed from the landlord. last night, i slept a 3 hrs nap mah, den, at night i slept at b4 12am. somehow, i had dreams n woke at 2+, 4+ 5+ 6+ 7. all these while, i been feeling quite alright. felt tat if i jus got out of bed during those hrs, i'm alright. but on the bus, i still dozed off.

den for lunch, at the presence of my jrn n snr colleaug,e i called up a guy from a mailing list, asking him out for lunch. den my snr colelague tried to chat a bit wif mi. tok abt the modem she sold mi. well, quite an old topic, but well, still ok loh. at least she tried to chat up. den jus b4 lunch, our workload increased. but there was onthing i can do. cos, they never let mi had the chance to hands-on. so, i can't help in anything.

wen tto meet the new guy for lunch. wah, was quite surpriased siazz... really din expect it. the guy i meeting is a 40+ guy. nope, i'm not biased at age, but jus surprised tat i meeting a 40+ guy. jus din expect such age. expected, his stuff were pretty matured type, n tok abt the meaning of life. for mi, i let my analytical side of mi surface. haha. n i saw my snr colleague sitting beside my table. b4 i went off, i waved her goodbye. for courtesy mah.

den later on, pretty sianzz. nothignt o do at all. worse thign, we cant leave early. n snr let young lady install programs, n mi n jnr no chance to try. ok, i shan't puhs them into giving mi chances. depends if they wanna lemme try mah. i oredi volunterred in the morning liao. it was so sianzz, tat when i left my office, i felt as though the place has no future. haha, den i thot: jus barely 3 mths, n i feel this way?? i even thot whether i shld take up some courses to improve my PR skills.

den haha, my boi calle dmi, if i able to meet him n his frn. LOL, 2 bad mi on bus liao. so qiao, firs ttime, i reached the busstop, so few ppl on my bus, so i rush for it. den my boi called mi haha. n hor, again, i dozed off on the bus. dozed in such way, i hit the railing of my seat. took my herbal tea as usual, n ate urry puff. haha, strange lei, fom my observation, LUV seem to always leave pus on my chin area over the wkend LOL. and while watching ch 8, i was almost weeping when i saw the part, mum was giving birth, n dead son was there to support her. pretty touching. n i can't reply my boi's comments. tmr got meeting at 8am. muz sleep early.

fnally, i have some time to reply comments...

"No wonder my face was wet last nite, so it was due to a flying kiss..." - hehe, tis week, i think u have to bring more tissue pax, cos more kisses will fly over LOL.

"but then dar dar shd not join in the voice raising competition loh" hehe, my way of protection, is to tell ppl how rude it is for the ppl to act in their way. if they fight back, i'll give up, cos they aren't educated n cultured n civilised enuff to understand the meaning of manners. haha, soemtimes, when ppl piss mi off wif their actions, i oso will shake my head obviously.

"would not buy things for u liao lah" u dun need to always buy things for mi mah, esp now when u waiting for the payday.

"cause ur hp bills to be even more expensive." i got some free airtime to use. i tried b4, to keep calling ppl to tok when the month is ending, but soemtimes, i'll jack up my bill cos i tend to recv calls after tat period, even after the free airtime.

"whereby u prefer to drop hints for me to figure out." ahha, ya loh, i dun like to b so direct wif my emotions. cos maybe 2 mi, actions is louder than words. wld rather do thigns tat make u hapy, than say things tat impress u. jus like, the tv shows. if i tlel u i'll rec for u, but in end, something bad happened den..? but after i rec liao, den surprise u, haha.. tat's the best!

"Luke and Desmond are a couple, Daniel and WeiXiang are another couple loh" wah, u know so many couples siazz!! abt looking at guy, dun b 2 influenced by ur pearl ger. live life the way u wan :) ahha, ya loh, now ur hp is protected wherever u go haha. although it seems to be jus anotyher pouch, but hehe, it's packed wif sincerety =D

till now, u have 3 types of reactions when something good happens. 1 is a stunned expression, 1 is play along, 1 is a seldom-seen-on-tv :P. for mi, when we both are really heated up, i prefer not to say anything hurting or damaging cos it helps nothing. wil prefer to cool down n make up. but tat say, i really... was i triumphing over my victory, tat i din realise i was going overboard?

"It's nice to know that ur position in the office is confirmed liao" not confirmed yet. but from wat i see, mostly confirmed. if not, my office will surely get new ppl in. my probation end 6/14, or ather 13, cos i start 14/03. by now, if i not good, they'll surely get new ppl in.

"Feel bad that I am occupying so much of ur time tat u cant study" - nope! i got timet o study. but i can't keep to my books right? i oso need frns n a life. not gd at making frns, cos it seems hard for mi to stay in contact wif them. seldom got ppl volunteer to call mi up. more to mi calling them to tok.

"ganging up with Pearlyn loh." is quite funny n nice. but when u n her toking away, mi n her bf were jus keeping quiet. nothin for us to chip in. abt the food thing, i jus wnana let u taste my food lah, the fish slice. haha, n ya, when ur colin frn called, haha, i was so surprised siazz!! js to hear my voice oso sungz. n hehe, i was acting funny when he asked mi to pass hp back u, but i say "no" den he luffed.

hehe, when ppl r affected emotiionally, pretty hard to say it out so fast mah. hey, no way to bring them back together? wat actually happened?

oh, ya i was checking my stats of the website, not my bod, n foudn tat my blog is again listed by blogspot, thus got more ppl visiting my site those time. hheh..

will be going family for dinner later. on saturday, went to my frn's place to help move things. hehe, first time to bring my boi to meet my frn(s). really dunno how to cope. cos i surely got lotsa things to tok wif my boi, but dun wan neglect frn. but soemtimes, a word/line from my boi, can make mi go backt o him and tok LOL. but 1 srange thing. how come, this frn, he move place so often, but din realise he shld have some boxes to help him move easily? 30% of his "luggage" were boxes (either came wif the product, or he stole from downstairs). 70% were plastics bags. kauz, prtty hard to carry them.

somemore, when thigns r done, i was wondering if got seats in front so tat we can go wif the truck. but, sorri loh, no seats. oni the drv seats. in end, 3 of us cramped in the luggage area. but, so jalut! 3 of us were like, in oral n anal position!! kauz, i felt so embarrassed! i asked my frn to sit in front, cos he giving directions, but the drv ask him sit wif us, n he agreed. wah kauz. damn it, it so cramped! true enuff loh, later the drv turned wrongly. sianz.

wat's more, after we move thigns down, i saw an umbrella on the truck. i called my frn to go down see if he missed bringing anything. hahah. know wat, later he din see wat's missing. but when we move thigns, he den realise, the bread n umbrella is not there. i reminded him, i ask him to look into the truck liao. he din find anything. duhz. in his new room, cos he "downgrading" to a smaller place, we (i n boi) ask him to think n plan where he wnana put things. he say later den decide. LOL.

oh ya, during this period of time, i kinda str8 forward thnking, n din wanna waste time in discussing. haha, i think i kinda sounded rude at times :) soemtimes i really feel tat he not prepared, n din plan beforehand. his room, he searched for it oni 2 wks b4hand. mi, i started loking 1 mth back. wel, i did my part. i asked him to start searcing, but he kept pushing it off. n jus wanna "enjoy" life. he jus luffed abt it.

after moving, we went to mall for lunch. haha, ok lah, i tell the truth here, as i always do. my boi, always pay for my meals. i dunno how come, i always slower than him in thsi sense DAMN! he told mi he dun wan take pasta-mania. cos 2 ex. but my frn suggested it. ok, at the PM there, i told my frn nothing there suits us haha. n went other places to see. but later my frn say he giving us a treat. we looked around. nothing else really tat i find tantalising. in end, i lied tat, sicne nothing look good, why nto go for something tat i seldom take. although it's a lie (more to PM quite tasty, but ex), but it sounded true haha.

firs ttime, an ala-carte meal, is very fulfulling for mi!! i took PM at 2pm, n thot 4pm i can eat again. ahah, but i took my dinner oni at 9+10pm haha. later we spent time together, n even "had a baby" LOL. enjoyed our tiem to the fullest. sighz, from next wk on, we gonna not meet at all. but i thinking of giving him a surprise.

but while spening time wif him, i sudenly felt sad. cos my PR skills. i was suddenly affected. to mi, ppl have an easy way to find lunch buddies, but for mi, i had to search for them. maybe i'll look despo. but i was thinking, am i alright wif lunching by myself? or i jus wanna somethign else? for mi, i'm ok. been lunchign alone since may anyway. but why not jus get ppl to lunch wif mi? i cant find ppl in my office, so i guess i'll find ppl myself?

haha, am i such a failure in life(PR)?

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replying my boi's friday blog :) ya loh, sometimes our actions makes each other so paiseh... i even rmb pulling his shirt to rush across the road, cos the car was coming to us. i din care whether he is able to judge the distance anot, but i pulled him acocording to my speed. haha, he realsied n ask mi to let go of his sleeve, i den realised it's so embarassing!! when i reached the pavementm i was giggline n so paiseh tat i wanna dig a hole tohide my head.

communication is damn crucial. we never hide our feelings, or rather we often managed to feel tat he's/my mood is not right, n will wanna tok abt it. we never feel good in bringing any unresolved issues to the next day. unless it's really so bobian. but i prefer to say "our family culture is diff"

i prefer to have almost, or even complete, trust on my boi, believing he will not do anythignt o let mi down. fo cos, for now, we still have some new things tat we have not met b4, n will need to decide on the best solution. but wif our sincerety, i guess even a rock hard issue will be melted =D

for this choir aud, we may even b required to perform in musical siazz.. LOL.. prepare to see mi become a superstar in a big way!!! broadway!! LOL.. did i hear some jeering? u dun go wif mum to market to watch cartoon?? wah liao.. u unfillial son!! haha, mi oso same thing, if my fav show is on tv, i will glue to it n block all disturbance. including sms n hp n family calling.

hehe, last night, i can say i kinda enjoyed my sleep. although i think i slept a bit late. in morning, i thot will b late again, but hehe, i was on time. phew, luckily i ontime. cos the sup actually called up those who were late. the morning period, can say quite busy, din have time to followup cases. lunch went alone again. ok, this time, i had wanna.. ask my snr "wat time u going for lunch?" when she reply, i'll say "wanna wait for mi to go lunch?" cos i know, 90% she'll say "i going wif mi frns", so.. but i jus trying my luck again. at elast i asked. but 2 bad, no chance. she went off b4 i can ask.

later , in the vening, i was asked to reinstall our program. but i never had the chance to. dunno how to uninstall. den my snr was looking surprised siazz. ya, somehow i do agree tat, i not good at PR. perhaps including socialising. den our agency came over to tok abt our being late at work. i was not invited. i can oni say, i'm stillon probation, so din go. dun wna think -ve'ly. n hor, my sup say, i on probation, so no MC to take. but my contract i dun thnk said so!! later muz check.

den, jus b4 KO, my colleague tease tat i din gel my hair, n ask if i going cine haha. she actually saw mi there last week. ahhaha. well, i did see her, but she was walking fof, din wanna greet her. n she commented, luckily it's a guy, not a ger. den jnr say "r u gay?" i exclaimed "yes!!" she den say, dun play psycho tricks wif her, she can read it. haha.. so wat? but i dunno whether shld i coem out to them anot. dun wan any -ve response from ppl. skali later, even my rice bowl not safe.

anyway ,during this period, 1 thing i learnt is, always b confident of myself. once u exudes it, ppl will oso b confident of u. b confident of ur work ability, n ur person n char. today, my own office pc broke down again. i began to check it,. but my jnr colelague, wah, make it a big hu-ha. keep exclaiming "wat happened" "wat u do?" "i never saw this screen b4 leh" (when tech guy is behind mi)"help is behidjn u liao".

but somehow, i feel tat my tech colleague beginning to trust tat i have some knowledge on hw. cos he asked if i know how to plug out the ide cable. i dunno, he ask mi it's the cable for the hdd. got it. i asked if it's the 1 he tried the other say. yes. :) den laetr, he was away doing things, he called my line directly, asking mi to check the comptuer connection. i checked n resolved thing for him in 15 secs. haha, i was thinking, if he called my jnr, will she b agitated n ask thigns, making it worse, tat why he calle dmi? jehehe...

so, i went to audition for choir, like wat my boi say haha. but, i so mafan siazz, troubled him to check my mails. i din realise, my office can't acess mail.yahoo.com. got to the venue. hehe, but i muz say, i m proud i din ask ask any1 for directions. searched for myself!!!! n somehow, i m really... not used to meeting new guys.. in a group. not used to seeing a group of stranger guys. as usual, i was quiet n withdrawn from them at start. but later, i still spoke to a couple of them.

oh yam, while waiting for the whole lot of them. i played with the kitten. haha, ok, i know i'm seriously playing wif the kitten. but in my thots, i feel tat, i'm telling ppl, i'm caring n loving towards even small animals. i'm not unfrnly n cold. but anyway, i think i... from today exp, i still sticking to my usual self: dun b so fast n know ppl. do it slowly. dun need ot b so kan cheong n tok a lot to ppl i see for the first time. unless tat person is chatty, if not, ask few thigns, n stop. wait for him to ask questions.

as for teh audition, quite ok loh. i managed to reach the notes tat the boss set wif the synthesizer. he evcen say, some ppl r tone deaf, n not able to tell between certain similar notes. oh, when my turn for audition, i was apprehensive. boss told mi "dun b afraid, i not gonna eat u", i replied "i'm 2 skinny to be eaten" ahah... well, confidence n relaxed :) i think he was trying to see if i can hit the notes set by the syntehsizer, n my highest notes. n wanna mi sing sample songs. i sang my superstar songs. as i sang, he hit a couple notes. i dunno wat he mean, but now i think he was trying to rmb the highest note i reached :)

on way home, i sure if my boi was wif mi, he will not lemme do it. hahah. got a seat in mrt. i sat down. left side is either boi, or butch.. err, feminine butch. right side if a yougnwoman. ok, when i sat, the woman oredi have her foot in a cross leg manner. after i was seated, a min later, she shifted leg 1 time. touched my jeans. 2 time, hit my jeans again. kauz. wat she think she doing??? i den raised my foot to kick her foot/leg slightly n crossed my leg oso. after crossing, she grabbed her handbag n moved them nearer to her. wah liao.

after alighting, bought ice cream in bread. tasty. ahah, from the way i eat, do i look kiddy, sexy or wat? for dinner, got nasi lemak. haha, mum tis time, took ym advice n cooked it. her nasi lemak is still the tastiest :) umm, later i shall break the bad news.................. i originally thot, not enuff to fill my tmmy. but when i finished my share, i asked if got more left, i ate to my fill. ok , the bad thing is, my dog, after suffering for weeks from injuries n falls n unbalanced diet, finally left us on thur morning. 6.28am, my sis sms mi. i dun wanna go home n check him out, wil oni make mi sadder. wif him gone this way, my family will oso not b so guilty if we were to put him to sleep. it's hgh time for him to leave us.

yup.,

yup. this morning i got to work early. in fact, while on way to work, i dunno how knda mentality n mood shld i have. but gradually i recovered n msg mi boi "morning",. but i dun have the mood to put in smiley. for lunch, took it myself. i simply cant wait for thw day to pass quickly, so tat i can mee tmy boi n tok to him abt thigns. so hard to contain my bad feelings within myself

another boring day has passed. sighzz, we gonna have 1 day's salary cut 'cos we were late everyday for work. my sup today asked my colleague for mc tat he hasn't given yet. den somehow, the date he mentioend, i rmb it's mi instead. but sup din ask mi. n i checekd my pay slip. i got 1 day unpaid mc. wat?? i entitled to 3 days mc but i got 1 day unpaid MC?? n seem like, my sup dun wan fight anythign for mi siazz.. is he realyl training mi up, or feel awkward abt mi?

den finally thw day passed n i went to meet my boi. still toked things over, and voila, things never go outta hands for us!!! i believe, if we both sincere, there's nothing we can't overcome. as long as 1 party dun give up, n willignt o give timet o try, thigns sure can work out.

but 2 bad, my boi's pal is havign problem wif LTR. hope thigns will go on fine too. ye this sounds superficial, but wat else can i say? i oso told my boi, i wun giv good comments followed by true 1s, cos tat's mi. i jus find it 2 commmercial. prefer to jus tell the truth.

at work, the temp guy said, it's best to be urself. well, i agree to an extent. if being ruself mean dun change for the better at all, tat's not good.

yes, ytday, din feel well so i din blog at all. end up my boi oso din blog. is this chain reaction? anyway, ytdaym, met up 2 guys in a row LOL. for the first time, i ask someone from a diff dept for lunch. almost cant manage to make ti for the apptmt. ya, he's str8, so he keep a distance form mi. chatted abt work n studies. n went back. well, at least i had lunch apptmt.

den a bit bz. not sure wat happeend though hehe. den met up my agent. somehow i feel he look like "jiang hua" of hk. we toked n discussed abt the policy. it seem tat he wanna mi decide if i wanna buy now. i told him i need time to decide. i was actually tinking of, after meeting him, he can send mi home real fast. but maybe i din decide on buying policy yet, he not really satisfied, so we jus parted. gosh, i MUZ hurry home for CHARMED!!!! hhaah, oh ya, i even kept reminding my colelagues tat season 7 is premiering today!!

i was thinking if i shld take bus or mrt, cos scared traffic jam. den i even speed walked home siazz.. kauzz.. long time no speed liao. now, i finmally know the adv of having new shoes: the solid heels can push mi forward more haha. 2 bad, i oni caught the last part of the show. so i gues i'll go home n watched the recordde 1.

den my boi msg mi something. i read n immediately felt... not good. later tok'ed over the ph, but feel tat i simpyl cant describe my feelings. relaly dunno how to say thigns, even though i din feel good. he wanna come over, but nah.. dun need lah. it's not wkend, dun wna him tired out. but i din have a good night rest loh, in fact, i was able to get to work on time. sighzz...