praises at work

"idling" at home.. blogging tis line

i'm happy that i left a gd record at my ex company. i've been tellign myself to keep my professionalism std there to at least finish wat i'm supposed to. tell myself, although i'm leaving i muz retain my prof'lism. he ask mi do documentation. i oso did to my best of knowledge.

end result, he complimented mi, telling the ops mgr, "over my 4 yrs in the company, tis is the best handover document i've seen. i think that explains all."

watching a ghost movie on tv

ytyda tv was showing a ghost movie wif the bg set in playground.. wif the ferris wheel. the story quite ok lah.. but somehow, i feel... do those ppl who dun think properly, get on the nerves of ppl who do careful n thorough thinking easily? n those ppl who dunno wat they doing, but insist on doing it?

anyway, in the show, the modern cam is used as a mean to defeat ghosts haha.. not a bad idea, since got many pix on internet tat capture many ghostly images. den i oso saved some pix lah.. n will b posting them soon, when i manage to get my psp9.

proj superstar

umm... i thinking of going for superstar audition again siazz.. am i 2 old?? m i dreaming?? i jus love to sing, have ppl hear my singing... but duno wat songs suit mi haha.. see how first..

i felt so stupid!

tis happen jus now..

suddenly someone added mi in msn. a guy. he say "u from msn? oops.. monash?" i say yes, n he say he grad in yr2k. we exchange lines... n exchange names n contact. he put a model pic in his msn, n wanna see mine. i say i dun put pic in msn.. n he ask mi send him. n he change his msn pic to his oso. quite nice looking. den i send 2 pix of mine, casual pic. den he say i officially his frn. den after he gone (he watching mov wif a frn 2 hrs later), i thot abt it, n found myself stupid

y did i send him my pic?? i thot he was str8 n no harm sending. but y did i?? i can jus put the pic in msn wat... gosh.. he mentioned abt monash, n i thot he got mi from monash webby. but now, monash cannot go in anymore, cos sem closed liao. n yet i still thot he.. was from monash.. damn...

anyway, he say he was surfing net n found mi... oh well.. not a mistrust, but i really curious where he got it.. be it fridae, sgboy or wat..

tmr is my first day at work

i've been gearing myself up for this big day.. the start of my new career.. sigh.. such excitement is getting into my head siazz.. as in, i scared tmr, i will jus wanna b frnly, act cute.. wat the hell.. i muz convince myself, tat i gonna show my professionalism, n show the enthusiasm, and prove tat i wanna stay in the company. i no longer can b tat "happy go lucky" but muz stick to my goal.. tat i wanna b successful, no matter wat it takes..

n they say i'll b handling existing n new proj.. is it true tat, it's gonna b a hard time taking over existing proj? cos.. i feel tat, by takign over existing proj, i will learn their existing coding style n practice.. isn't it so?

i mentioned b4 tat, every lil thing in life lets u learn. i was downloading a file (not convenient to mention details =D), den it was over 90% liao. i den d/c n do my own things (dun ask y, it's wat happened). den i conn back again. gosh, for 12 hrs, no progress??!?! i chk every 30 mins, no progress!! wah... den the next morning, haha, it's done...

lesson? b patient for soemthing to happen.. dun expect things to happen over night.

n for my work, i decided, tat i shld b responsible, know wat i doing n why, n be practical, b listening, receptive, b frank (if not NA) at all times, n (impt) b moderately confident of my skills!

tis 1 was contributed by a fan of my blog.. haha, am i obviously proud to say "fan of my blog"?

quite a bunch of thing to update.. haha.. n waited so long, cos i wanna implement the expanded/contracted view!!! and bingo! (or shld it b hooray?) i got it!!! now see how success it can get.. :)

collection of contact lens

wah liao... i sent my contact lens 2 wks back on tues (incl tis wk) for checkup, den optometrist told mi to go eye checkup oso, saying tat, lens chk may take 2-3 days, den eye checkup liao n collect lens is jus nice timing. ok.. i'm fine. damn it! 1 wk has passed, n no news?? i called them up, n they say the ger is on lve n she is personally attending to it, so they dunno progress. i called when she came back, n she ask mi if got news from eye doc, cos she waiting for my response. huh?? she say she oso told the lens side not to do any repairing till i get back to her. kauz! she din tell mi anything?? in end, i had to rush her siazz.. n told mi to chk wif her again at 2pm, 2 days later.. damn. if i cant get my lens ready, i sibei bo-bin liao..

med chkup 4 new job

den, my new job need mi do med chkup. i went for it on monday, but queue too long, i dun wan wait. den decided to go on sat. den i chk wif family, the wedding start from 8am till noon. den i thinking.. shld i go med first, or wed first?? wat's more need to take lens, n do hair.. wah.. packed day.

sudden change of timing on sat

wah liao.. in end, my sat timing had to change a lot.. my original plan:
1) wait for wedding
2) go med
3) go take lens at 2+
4) do hair at near 3
5) attend wedding

in end, dad come fetch us at 4pm. argh... in an instant, my timing had to change.. okloh.. mum told mi, bro fetch bride over here ard 10+. so if my med finish in 1 hr shld b ok. med there say avg 1 hr wait, 1 hr chkup. they open at 830am. so i went med at 830am. but gosh!!! 832am oredi got ppl inside sitting for their turns?? arghzz. i waited.. n finally my turn... haha.. the doc.. same name as mi.. n quite a nice looker though.. we even had a frnly chat. haha, certanly recommend him to any frn of mine!!

smooth process

phew... i went home, n everything was quite on time.. not late for wedding. but hor, those guys who came wif my bro back home, not yandao 1.. maybe ok n decent looking lah.. after the wedding.. den i know we need to leave for the dinner @ 4pm. kauzz.. my hair dressing timing again must change.. den i have to go eye ger there earlier. n luckily!!!! my lens is ready liao!! i actually intend to tell the ger, she din inform mi abt the repair issue, but nah... next time den i tell, i got no time to waste.

cute hairstylist

ya ya.. i still like him.. den the hair stylist, feel so much like hugging him, when he is facing mi, doing my hair. he is so my size. tis time, i din get to ask him out for gym.. think next mth i will.

n the cute thing is, when i went in to sit, he was walking past mi, n i waved my hand at him.. he came over, n.. became my stylist for tat day haha.. den as he coloring my hair, his body was so close to mi.. n somehow, either his pouch or his zip (hahha) was pressing onto mi but i.. din check out lol.. den whenever he tok to mi or near mi, i'll peep at his body size, tone n everything.. gosh.. felt like eating him hahah.. den as he was doing my hair.. tat felt HEAVENLY...

i told him, i going for wedding later, den he oso prepare to style up my hair siazz.. n hehe, the main stylist, an auntie, dunno if she on purpose, she let the guy solely take charge of my hair hahah... n say "mus do very good har".. although it's not a very colorful (hair) result, cos it's not so startling n refresh style, i like it. yes, cos it's him. n i actually find it kinda.. msian styel lol.. no offence lah.

den hor!! cos the cover sheet for hair trimming taken away liao, n he use the blower to clear my hair, those tiny strands of hair fell onto mi.. den i try to remove them.. n he try to use the blower to sweep it off.. but haha.. hair fell onto my zip area.. the area a boxer brief covers up.. n he so paiseh when he blow it there hahaha.. CUTE! ya, i know y he paiseh lah.. fancy using blower to blow tat area hahha...

wearing tie

haha.. den after hair do liao, i went to tidy up. wah liao, i really getting more inclined as an exhibitionist siazz.. cos i wanan take off my top n clear up the hairy mess.. but i decided to go into cubicle to do it.. hengzz! nhor, after wearing my tie (i'm proud! i still rmb how to do a tie even after 10 yrs of not doing!!), i felt so damn formal... n loitered around till family came.. n as expected, my mum dilly dally till the timing mess up.. sigh.. cant blame her.. i guess she always sore, whenever my dad is rushing for time, n she maybe not totally prep to marry her son off.

waiting in hotel room

we got to the hotel, n while waiting in hotel rm for dinner to start, a ger tok to mi.. i was so stunned.. cos i dunno how to react!! cos her topics quite daring (we were toking abt how nice the sauna is n she mentioned things abt "strippin" n "getting into pool") but, i am biased against my bro.. n although i;'m open abt myself, i cant b 2 relaxed wif them, cos they still knw my bro.. as in, i am open enuff usually to make n knw ppl.. but these ppl know my bro, n i am biased against him. i dun really wan anythign to do wif him..

n wat;s more startling is, when i reach the dinner hall, i forgot something n wanna go back to room. den this ger came over, gave a blur n innocent expression, n ask wherei goin.. arghzzz... if a guy... i guess i'll give him a hug siazzz...

den while waiting for my sis, my aunt oso spoke to mi. i knw where she's coming from, but few days later, i decided i'll challenge her words.

cos she's saying, i shldn't bring home guys overnight, cos i muz oso think of my sis. wat if they do soemthing to her?

i understand she's trying to make the pt tat, my mum feel strange i bring guys home. so aunt give alternative view, using my sis as excuse. but till now, i oni bring guys home for a while. overngiht is oni 1 time. n she (or they) focus on tis 1 time.

bring guys home i personally feel i can use "work" as excuse.

overnight, if they forbid, i'll wan to know y.. frns stay inside my rom. r they not trusting my frns? do they think my frns will tease my sis? my sis dun even knwo them n we r staying inside room. yes, i'm aggressive tis time. perhaps 'cos i really wan my freedom..

at the dinner

at the dinner, haha, i guess its my first time to b so outgoing in front of these (long distance) relatives. i learnt how to play a host hahha.. by moving around n toking to them, greeting them. it's kinda fake to mi, but well it's called "socialising". n i;ve evolved to.. someone who dun need to care much abt personal feels n emotions.. it is a time to b gracious n b kinda outgoing... n so fun to tok n chat around my table siazz.. n felt so nice when my sis (she always had the optimal view n opinion) ask mi how shdl she pose hahha.. cos i got imaginative n creative minds when it comes to posing hehe..

n now, at my age, i can see things from other angles.. such as, ppl who live alone, they will wan to have someone listen to them, toking abt the daily happenings.. in short, bitchin. n my uncle, oso tok more to mi..

n had a great time wif foto shots. my dad.. oso stun teo, when i put my arm over his shoulder during foto shot. wel,l cos i nvr did tat b4 haha..

photo taking time..

when i got home, i even.. took a series of shots of myself.. umm, when ppl get radiant, do they feel more confident of themselves in every way? be it verbal, image, behaviour? cos i really like my pix siazz!!! n having the courage to look at myself int he mirror n pix.. n may even turn myself on siazz..

n now, i find myself not tat "eee, i dun like dat person" n shun person anymore. but as courtesy (unless something real bad happen), i'll still say hi n chat a bit. will try not to, jus 'cos i not familiar with them, shun them.

sunday happenings..

on sunday, i supposed to have a foto shot session wif soemone, mi the photographer. but last min, change timing. den my left eye twitched.. oh well.

turns out tat, a frn i meeting for a concert was late. late by 30 mins. i thot abt it: well, wat's teh pt in losing my anger at him? he's late. he's oredi flustered. n if i get angry somemore, wat's teh use/pt? n later, i realised, he usually dun come city area on wkends, so the traffic conditions on sunday, maybe he dunno.

den during concert, had a fun chat wif him haha.. he quite on the screw loose side. after concert, in toilet, got a guy look at mi into mirror but wat can i do? i jus shied away.. i mean i look down.. den later, look up again, he still looking.. haha..

n here, i re-met some of my old acquaintances.. got 1, i saw on mrt b4 1, he.. jus socially say "hi n keep in touch" (not so short conversations lah), but i wonder if he even rmb my name n anything at all. yes i forgot his myself. but.. if he oso dun rmb, n jus say tat social phrase, its jus so bo-sim..

umm.. haha anyway, i was dressed in basketball singlet.. making sure my arms r shown till armpit, but the opening there is small ahaha...

n i finally have my room!!!

i am totally excited!!! in my family house, having my own room, arrangin my own things here/there. no 1 can interfere... shuangz. n i oso plan to re-arrange the furniture inside. haha.. reasons:
1) tis is my room liao, i wanna have a diff feel n look
2) adjust fan position, so tat it wun block any enjoyer
and top reason!
3) now the pc is .. when the door open, the pc rite at the door. den when use pc, my back is facing the bed and the bed can see watever is appearing on the screen 1 loh.. so i'll shift the things so tat.. the bed will be e first thing ppl see when enter room, den pc will b next to window.. haha.. den the monitor will blocked from view from bed!! yeah!

n now, in process of re-arranging my vid collection (yes a lot.. when i preview them to re-cap, i still get high :P).. den will share wif my frns..

work stuff...

at work, my sup ask mi do documentation. ok i accept it, cos it's needed for the person taking over to fully understand the structure n flow of the program. den sup say he give mi 1 wk to complete, cos "i have asked ppl to do such docu b4, so i understand the time length needed". hahaha... from tis line, it tells mi a lot abt the turn over rate liao!!

tis company abt 5 yo nia. if turnover rate not high, y oni got 2 ppl working here for > 3 yrs? i really pity them.. everytime mus get new staff n train up.. n have i mentioned tis b4? tat 3 yrs back, the econ not gd. tat time, employers select their staff. so, when the 2 ppl started, it was probably no choice, n get any job tat comes. den now, 2 yrs down the road, it hard for them to jump ship lioa. cos the longer u stay in company, the harder for u to leave, as the exp is gained n u got recognition from the company. unless the plc really sucks...

mum showed mi a digital watch.. haha, i grabbed it from her n wearing it. my old watch is losing battery and jus now, got a new watch. no need to buy battery or new watch. n tis watch, by std (or default, in pc terms), got a "ti-ti" sound every hr. wah, hearing it really tells mi how fast time flies..

having a strong sense of how work process shdl b carried out, n havign a power mind of building a proper career path, n wnana make it a good path, i am focussing on having a career, instead of jus a job which lemme earn $$. perhaps if i jus treat it as work, i wun b so moody working here, cos all the procedures n mis information, i'll jus bochap n forget abt it. but nah.. i wna a proper career...

n tyday, i was honest abt my payslip. i felt bad abt myself, by being so frank, as i got $300 less. but when i discussed wif my sis, she said it's GD. n somehow, it was a blessing in disguise... to think my rite eye twitched.. haha

cos, when i saw the big pay, i wonder if i shdl tell them. as, i dun think they will b chking accts. n if they find out, they can stil ltake back money. but somehow, i kay poh, tell them. i den regretted it, n was so moody siazz.. even had a 15-30 min break to cool n get over it. den later, the ops mgr came in n reminded the hr ger tat i took 5 days lve. but she was so ahppy siazz.. i overheard her mentioning it uprite "i reminded her abt the unpaid leave" 2 times siaz!!

at tis pt, i think i may have made the rite move, cos, by informing, i showed my integrity. blessing in disguise hor?

den next morning, the ops "manager" ("" cos it's jus the title, he is blur n unprepared at times.. suitable for a small size company, where there is no std to take up certain posts..) told mi to help do some work.. at tat instance, i know i had nothing to do, but i dun wan to b made use of. so i told him i got things to clear up still. it's the day/time for mi to protect myself against "abuse".. lol

umm, now trying to get used to web-based emails.. i'm kinda used to checking emails on web now.. but trying to fit in some preferences into the web-based thing oso.. including replying comments tat i read on the webmail, instead of downloading to my computer n read den reply.

hard in getting new blood

my company had a meeting. they were discussing abt new blood. they had shortlisted 2 ppl to join, who r fresh grads. but these 2 feel tat the pay is 2 low, n they have to find other ppl, or give higher salary. oh well, wat cna i expect, n wat do u expect?? even i managed to find a job tt give mi HIGHER pay, n the pay right now really not gd enuff for a certified guy.. yes, cert is nothing much, but it at least proves i'm of a certain calibre. now they facing problem getting ppl inside... here.. can i say i'm glad i managed to leave here?? but yah, i still grateful tat i managed to re-cap my knowledge here, n learn abt prioritising, teamwork, n communications.

(gosh, i mus implement my new script fast!)
is it really fate, n twist of gd luck? these days, i've been able to see things from a neutral POV, so tat it'll no longer b "my view is RITE, dun override it", but "does he have a point too?", n try to make it into win-win ending, n be considerate.

a frn intro a frn, NTN, to mi. this NTN, he's kinda isolated n often a loner, as he perhaps lack the proper skills to socialise. my 2 pals have brought mi outta my shell, n gave mi diff peeks n diff view n attitude to life. somehow, i felt tat it;'s time to mi to help others too... give ppl neutral opinions, letting them choose n telling them the possible outcomes..

n my new job starting in jul, n my bro marrying tmr n moving out oso. i've moved back, n my new 250GB HDD is working alright, duno abt my 40GB yet. den my sis, she saw my working clothes all LKK n mouldy liao (i been wearing them since 2004), so she went g2k buy 3 pcs for mi. she say "img is impt 4 work". yes i agree. i wonder if this means, it's really gonna b a whole new beginning for mi.. a whole new chapter... new clothes, bigger pay, moving back home, no more living under others' roof, n dun need to pay rent, a clearer mindset, n a planning mind... sounds nice huh? shall see..

i've been keeping these 2 smses to rmb wat the landlord said abt mi..

1) if hv to decide to cancelled all the svc to all of u. give u half mth stay gud enough 4u. ur pub is $30/mth for 2 yrs already $720. not to mention tv license cost me $240. u know this house rent is 1k per mth. i lost $ rent to u. if jess never pay by 14, i lock this house nobody canenter this house.And i wan clean this hse no more mess such as cable etc. i never own u. u urself should pay me instead.

2) i mena u must clear ur thing by 14th and jess too must pay me by 14th if not i will not allow anyone enter this house. this month i allow u to stay til 14th jus for friendship only.

sianzz.. room rented till such a state/stage.. i been paying my rent on time. n jus b4 i moved out, they give mi such troubles. i gave them 1 mth notice, den they bother mi abt paying utilities bills, n messing the hse wif wires. they oni raised these up when i wnana move out.. KAUZZ.. n gave mi 2 wks oni, for frnship?? huh?! sighzz...

not been blogging for a hell long time.. so STRESS by the exams!! i forgot the feel of stress.. now, felt like i was experiencing a never-felt b4 level of stress.. stress by the pressure not to fail anymore..

n as i was preparing for my exam, some thots pass by my mind.. i was having some erotic thot.. "any1 onzz to play strip poker??" hhaha.. n i was going for my lunch.. n saw a sec sch looking boy walking along wif his gf. i immediately thot of a scene: a few bengs (yes bengs again!! or rascals?) are sitting on the fence grills. they see the boy passing by wif his gf. they den went to tease the ger (dun ask mi y.. jus my story for now). the boy of cos will protect her, drag her away n blocking the guys from her. den the bengs dun like it n went up to push the boy n fire verbal abuses at him n pushing him around. the ger try to interfere, but the guys push her away.. maybe even falling onto ground. the boy maybe apologise or wat.. but the guys force him to a corner... lol...

got many scenarios to branch off from here liao!!
1) slap him, beat him up lightly
2) strip him of his top (be it taking off his shirt or ripping it off)
3) from any of the abv scenes, drag him to an enclosed area... (bochap his gf liao)

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anyway, jus took my last exam for tis sem. finally, my stress is over for this semester... FELT a desperate call from my mind/body to relax, n recharge... i really gave my all to it.. lemme gues my future.. in the past, i jus take it as "study for exam n shld b passable". now i really studying hard.. once tis exam is over, i will start my new job.. got 3 wks b4 my next sem start.. after i settle down liao, i cna focus back ot my studies, n next sem, 1 mod is using java, which i EXPERT. have a lot of things in my mind, to do in the very near future..

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n by a stroke of BAD LUCK, after i bought a 250GB maxtor HDD (umm oh well, the shop guy.. is he the beng guy who i had taken a liking to soem time ago?), i realised tat my current 40GB HDD was having serious probs.. canot b detected by mombod, bootup cannot find OS, OS CD cannot help cos OS CD is SP2, but my OS is now SP4. den during defrag, will get some blue screen error. sianzz... but i wonder if it's a test of my prioritising skills.. cos my PC is my dearie, n i cant bear to see it "sick", but exma is nearing.. have to decide which issue to solve first.. n oso, i need to get it working at basic level, so tat i can revise my asgts..

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i wonder if my body is really tat intelligent. all along, i've been eating the usual stuff at the bro stall there. braised/soy sauce "dried beancurd skin", sliced potato, egg-flavoured tofu. meat will b pork/chiken. den these days, somehow ,i felt tat the stuff i been eating there r quite salty.. den i wonder how did i manage to actually remain their customer for so long.. but i start to think, if my body sending a signal tat, i;'ve too much salt?? tat y my taste bud change? or it's time for a change of taste naturally? i usually dun take spicy food cos it's burns my body. den during exam prep, i actually drank hot/cold milo 4-5 nights in a row! n jus now, i crave for laksa.. however, the cuisine by mum is still so tasty n delectable =D

den surprisingly, ytnite when i revising, i felt some breathing near mi, in front of Tv... there nothing at all. but i can hear its breathing.. or panting. i moved around, investigating the source.. n b4 long, the breathing is lost... hmmzz. n i muz say i lucky siazz.. for teh exam, got some theories.. when i revise, i actually took the trouble to flip notes to verify i memo correctly! n even on way to exam,

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have i mentioned abt a prudential guy? who approached mi during roadshow? ehhe, his face is not tat appealing n he got a lump on his left cheek. but somehow, i find him cute haha.. n he asked mi to meet him up for non-obligated session hahah.. well, if he turns out alright, i may transfer my pru policy to him lah.. see how first..

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toking abt my plan for future, if everything goes smoothly,
i'll b having a perm post in an MNC, taking home a biggest pay chk ever for mi..
den, i oso applied for debit card,
opening myself up for more frn-making chances (open for str8 n GLBT frns, wif no linking to having sex),
den learn to cook (for my mum),
learn new self-improvement skills (anything from langs, to etc :P),
go holiday,
ensure my mum has a good retirement period,
working out in gym (to improve my body n tone up.. any encounter inside it is of cos bonus), n tinking of getting the cute guy in hair salon to go wif mi,
improving my blog site (working on it), hopefully can see fruits within days..

(reading email n saw tis frnster profile: http://www.friendster.com/viewphotos.php?uid=22421869 this is a type i wun ever get involved wif.. altho he for sure beng, n veli attitude..)

oh well, tis pic sure can cause lotsa nose bleeds 1... hot, muscular, sexy, tempting, cute, frnly, relaxing.. wow.. he's the SEX GOD.. now i wonder where does my julian hee stand..

here, our dearest adam is playing an trad chn music instrument.. but FUNNY!! his back is facing the audience n the main cam. wat r te ppl thinking>??@

this cute boy from the superband (xia ri feng) quite nice lokoing, n expressive in his dance hahah.. but nah.. they depend to much on his dance tactics alone liao..

ok.. now i'm blabbering nonsense.. my sup jus gave mi some tasks to do, which i'm really glad n happy to take up. if not, i'll be jus idling n surfing proper net (hahah.. got a pun). but.. it's my first time to leave a programming job. so when he ask mi write out a proper doc to describe the linkings between the modules, i know waht's required of mi.. den as he was explaining to mi abt wat's required, he saying from the pov tat i dunno wat's expected of mi, i dunno wat going on, i duno why he asking do these. i asked to lemme say out wat i understood is required of mi..

den later, we were toking abt table linking (schema) diagrams. UML came to my mind, n i said it out. he said, "no, it diff. UML is for class design, schema is for database. if u find that in any database bk, they mention UML, u can bring it to mi". wah lioa, i was oni saying it out. if it's not the correct term, so be it. correct mi. i was not trying to shwo "hey, u've used the wrong term". n, later i oso got tell him "UML is jus my way to refer to it lah"

den, a scenario came up, whcih proved to mi again, programmers keep their thoughts in their minds, n seldom bother to say it out, expecting people to udnerstand their thoughts and the picture in their brain haha..

sup ask mi to look at wall pin-ups. den he jus keep saying "u look at the box there" but for god sake, so many "boxes" on the pinups loh..

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a side thot: i jus came back from toilet. got a 70+ (or younger) cleaner lady supervising a young male bangladesh washing toilet. i was thknking, does the guy feel disgraced to b ordered around by such old lady? i dun think any1 will believe, the auntie work gained 10 yrs or 5 yrs exp to climb up ot tat position. will there b a scene tat, a bangla is supervising a local (nvm age)? n wat r the thots n feelings of our locals, going overseas, n end up being bossed around by their aged locals?

usually ppl who r more experienced (or snr) than u, have their own pride to take care of. they usually use their "exp" to overwhelm u. they may simply prefer their usual/own ways of doing things, rather than listening to a not-tat-exp guy explaining his stand...

i signed the letter ytday.. from the looks of it, i'm really stepping into corporate world, where there's bound to be politics, backstabbing, group prefs (as in ur grp of allies will help u out if u need, den if another group of allies need help, may not offer so readily...) tis plc really offers much better terms than my current 1.. everything.. they oso pay according to ur abilities.. whcih i like.. :)

i mentioned corporate world, cos even the HR manager who attended to mi, spoke such fluent, proper, n toned english tat, i felt wat i was heading myself for: a very professional working environment, where it's gonnna b very biz-oriented. i'm now focussed on setting/getting/making/reaching my career path. so im alright.

thinking of focussing, in past, when i read abt ppl deciding to focus on their work, i was jus thinking, oh well.. focus on work. nothing much else.
but now, when i'm the one deciding to go for it, i.. m.. able to empathise wif ppl of such predicament. i'm giving up on LTR, which there is no guarantee of success, and depends on lotsa things... career usually comes first, which means LTR will b in 2nd rank. oh well, just take it tat, LTR is usually hurting...

oh.. ya, i had a good luff today, listening to the podcast by mr brown. haha. rmb the news abt a doctor caught with drugs??

just watched "Let's Shoot 2". from tis point on, i know that 1 of the celebrity guest, the counsellor, is actually a stick in the mud, for his "tis shld not be the way it is, as it had never been this way" mindset. the other guy, cai shen jiang, is having a more open-minded thinking. I respect him for that.

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nic: hehe,, you're welcome :)

tmr, is the day i'm signing the paper.. den i gonna tender liao.. strange, tis company i went interview first wif a guy. den he totally not keeen. days later, another person caleld mi at night for interview. n i got the job after 1 wk. i need to bring latest payslip (i dunno y oso), n 2 color photo. color photo.. umm, i rmb seeing 2 photo when i cleaning my room.. waahhaah.. so qiao, i got oni 2 pix inside!!! no need rush to take n develop!! whahaha..

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at work, i've experienced the last straw possible at work. tues rite? on monday, i asked my sup for any updates. he say there are many things, n will update mi later. so i waited. tues, he told mi... some lightning news:
the discussion that he had held are about a component that he is doing. so he will be doing tat component as usual.
den for my part, it's not part of wat the client is requesting, so there is no update for my program.

i was stunned!!! he been asking mi to do components whcih are not required in the proj???!!! are they testing my coding??!?!?! come on, i'm SCJP!! i'm certified!!
den later, he ask mi add some more things into the program. from tat instance, i lost the motivation... gosh..

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at home, i've not unpacked my things yet, but managed to hook up internet wif some stand-by connection. wat pissed mi off is my landlord's attitude. u know, i moved my things on monday nite. den on tues evening, after work, i went back there to see if i forgot anything. den, the lock has been changed!!!! huh?? i din tell the landlord, n the landlord oso nvr ask mi anythign. yet he jus changed the lock?? if he really went into my rm, he'd have saw my mattress still inside! i sms him to tell mi when he at home. if he nvr sms mi back, i'll blast him a msg on fri. even if he did reply, i'll forego my mattress n blast him stil. wah kau! is he so afraid???

den sunday was all about packing, n getting frns to help mi move my stuff. really jialutzz.. tis time, no tv, no net. cant even focus on my exams prep. DAMN! oh wel, but i shall nvr say "y is tis happening to mi??".. i can oni treat it as a life exp n get on wif it, n learn to live wif it. n tis time, really super.. move all my things in 1day.

on monday morning, it was not an enjoyable 1. the sup came into office, but din tell mi much abt the proj progress. oh well, i think he can sense mi job hunting, so din tell mi much.

den later, i actually got a call! from the agency!! she say i'm offered a post as system analyst!!!!! it was the 1 whcih call mi at night, for phone interview!! such a surprise!!! uknow, the ph thing was 1 wk ago tues. den no news. 1 wk later, monday, i'm offered?!?! n tis post, i;m offered a salary i nvr had b4, n it's the max of my expectation!! probation 3 mth, den pay review is 1 yr (cos my studies end in 1 yr). as an SA, i know i can learn mucho things. but i seriously duno am i skipping paths.. like now i still having deg cos, n from SCJP jump to SA. am i moving 2 fast? ya i know, it;'s up to mi to brush up my skills n prep for it. i even planned to read up on SDLC, system analysis, n oso some JSP/servlets bk to prep myself.. all done to ensure tat i am prepared.. but umm, b4 i got into tis current job, i oso went to read up n refresh my memory for java. but it was not used haha. i;m signing the letter tmr (wed)

ok, den later on, another agent (for the post tat i can click wif the lady tat 1) oso called mi, saying the client got lotsa qns to ask. she wanna knw my expected. i say a fixed amt (tis time not neg liao haha). den no news yet. perhasp they find mi 2 ex? for the skipping path tat 1, for now, i can oni suggest, it cld b a mater of exp, a matter of mindset, a matter of working/handling style, or a combo. cos if u programmer, u cld b focussing on gettign things to work, den over time, u learn things n develop better work styles. den for mi, after being guided by 2 pals for yrs, have grown some mindsets of my own, n independent thinking. am i consoling myself?

tis time round, my mind is pretty set on developing my career path. i will not wan to b distracted by trivial stuff lioa. prioritise my goals n go for it. LTR, i give up. sex, find in irc or fridae or yahoo group. frns, get to knwo ppl slowly.. settle my life n plan for my future. whci includes, learning cooking from mum, integrating the culinery skills learnt from da chang jin into the cooking, making delicious meals, getting frns over for meals every now n den. den going for holidays, n treating myself to goodies.. oh, ya i oso need to sell off some useless stuff

1 thing whcih left mi bewildered is, my gal pal. when we first knew each other, she had always guided mi along, teaching mi the proper way of livign, n reasoning n logical thinking. she has always been teh 1 teaching mi things, n mi learning. but these days, we both are hunting jobs. den when we exchanging our ideas n standpts, she suddenly grew defensive of her stand, n when i continued elaborating on mine, she du lan.

all i felt was, we were oni exchanging views, n not forcing either party to accept. more of telling each other how we found our stand. but she felt otherwise... we were toking abt starting pay... i felt she's not getting her worth, but she maintaned her stand tat, it's oni the starting, n she is confident of obtaining higher once she's proven her worth. i do agree, but starting pay shld still reflect how gd u r at wat u r doing. it's not a mere act of "getting u into the job". its like they knw n appreciate wat they getting n paying the relevant amt for the talent. wat's more she's overseas grad. n.. not as though she despo for job.

ok, back to my moving back. it's a pretty cool exp. thx to 2 frns who took their time and rushed to help mi.. really last min thing. we waiting for my dad car, n haha, they read my "men's mag". den got some sec bengs walking past n saw it ahah. i like their facial responses!!!!

once i'm home, i began to feel wat my gal pal experienced: havign to adjust to "living wif family" lifestyle. unpacking my things, felt like i jus back from overseas living, yes, overseas living. cos these yrs proved to b beneficial to my self development. n wif loads of bagssss, i lok like i bought many things haha.. i oso rmb the time when, in morning, we jus scramble to wash up. but now, i try to find a pattern of living of my family, n kinda adjust to it, to prevent time/utility-usage clashing. but argh.. cant walk around half naked anymore.. kinda used to being topless to release any torso heat. den now, have to b properly clothed..

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summary: i'm preparing/prepared to meet life's challenges, dun blame on life's injustices, find a workaround instead of lamenting wat shdl not b rite, achieve my goals, n give (my) life a better meaning. i actuallu.. oso intend to volunteer at those boys homes siazz.. lol.. n probably help out at some charity orgs oso.. n as i mentioned, sing at some pubs?

now is monday 4.49pm. over the wk, i cannot blog at all. read on if u wan know y. anyway, i wonder if i can finsih blogging by my KO time..

for a good long time, i nvr watched a movie tat i like liao. den, afer my exams, i die die wanna watch a GOOD movie. hha, went to catch Da Vinci code. oh, btw, i'm not into books, so even if some movies r adapted from books, i nvr check them out. i jus watch. den hor, all i know is, tis movie is very christian based. haha.. thru out the show, all i know is tat, something has happened n tom hanks is trying to fix it. i dun really follow the history/bg of the story. mi veli good hor?

but i realise 1 thing from this show: The beauty of Chinese language. In the show, all the christian stuff have all-so-special names, sarcopharagus, etc. i totally cannt catch wat each of them is. luckily, there's the chinese subtitle!!! i am truly fascinated tis time, cos the characters used to define the items were chosen correctly.

In Chinese, each character carries a certain meaning. And if you put a few characters together, it sums up to a different meaning, but it evolves from the characters you used. In the movie, the carco thing was a holy cup. I understood it from the chinese terms used:圣杯bla bla. den i knew wat exactly r the roles referring to.
In English, words are formed up using letters. Each letter does not have a specific meaning. If the words formed are adjectives, or verbs, it may be understood by finding its root word. But when it comes to nouns, GOSH, hwo to grasp it??? i'm thinking of penning a letter to ST/TODAY to tok abt tis.. hehe,,

den on a sat, i was prepared to go swimming to tan myself (cos later on, meeting the mgmt guy for the last time b4 he go overseas attachmt). den,, hahah.. at the pool, i was sitting at the sheltered spectators seat reading my papers, den saw 3 guys toking. 1 guy lying on the pavement for tanning, other 2 in water beside him toking.. wah, look so... u know.. den oso got 1 BOY (abt late sec or early jc age) standing in the water, not moving at all. my first guesses were tat, he dunno wat to do.. wanna swim, dun wan, wanna tan dun dare. den as i observed, he could b a boy trying his first time to cruise in pool.. oh well, i not into such stuff.. but then, when he was just lying there, letting the sun bake him, i felt like telling him to get some sun tan/block lotion first..oh well, but tat nvr happened..

n the funny side abt him is, he was in water right? den he jus made himself prostrate on the pavement, while his legs still in water. wahha.. tat was the funny part siaazz!!

howEver, on tat day, the fateful nn, i really got pissed by the landlord. on 28 may, i emailed LL to say i moving by jun end. he replied "ok, keep intouch". few days later, he sent mi another email, demanding mi to move out in 2 wks time, saying tat i din pay utilities bills for my period of tenancy, n oso tat in our email correspopndence, he stated tat PUB is shared. damn it! how cna he change attitude suddenly?? the email is a mere discussion! how can it b taken as a mutual agreement?? there was no contract signed, oni verbal agreement, which is bound for changes anytime. he say i din pay internet, but did he state it out tat i need to pay? n by saying tat the other tenant din pay is none my biz. other tenant din pay, he can get him to scram. i am a paying tenant. he even say, its for frnship tat he let mi stay for 2 more wks! wat, wat rationale is tis?? gosh!

n he even took the internet n tv away, saying he dun see y he shld share internet n tv wif us, saying tv license cost him, n his house rental is killing him oso. i really duno y the sudden change in attitude. he keeps re-iterating tat the other tenant din pay rent, but still let him stay. dunno wat's going on. anyway, i'm about to move back home, so i shant bother.

but luckily, b4 the internet was removed, I ACTUALLY GOT A FAN OF MY BLOG MSN'ING MI!! it's so interesting, so fun(ny), so nice, sweet, so honoured hahah... jus felt so extraordinary!! umm, i did ask wat made him so keen on my blog. if it was in the past, perhaps, i'll b pressured to carry on writing wat they wanna see.. but haha, now i am/have more of a fixed attitude, n view n personality. so i shall just blog as per se (new term? hehe) dun wanna make tis 2 long.. will blog again.

oh.. a lot of things to say abt tis pic.. but summary: good picture!

another hunky actor in taiwan. he's got a gd fig. but when i tuned to tis channel, he's oredi in thsi posture.. nontheless, i took the shot...

wow.. this is HOT!! u see.. got a hk movie, a very stupid movie.. abt ghosts coming back for revenge. i thot there wil b no nude scenes. but ahah. somehow, the producers manage to add in. they put the guys inside sauna. in sauna, their vital parts all covered up. den the door got stuck, so they barged it down. when the door gave way, 2 of them fell onto the ground in this posture. n i immediately took the shots. hahah!!! =D umm, reminds mi of my gym sauna exp..

umm.. another misc pix. left is a cute guy who appeared on "wan quan yu le". den, rite, is a TR who.. is in a paiseh mood. haha i like the way he's messing wif his hair...

misc pix. top left, vaness wu in "young a-hu". he look better from such an angle.. top rite, a hk hunk, who dun have much viewer-love. btm rite, a cute guy appearing on an old hk movie. btm left. a CUTE guy!! who appeared on the lesbo show of Guess3.

julian HEE... a hunk!!! jus cant get enuff of him!!! WOW

he's james tay from singapore idol 2. i thot i saw him somewhere.. he'

my dear edmund... still so well bodied at hsi age... he's over 30, mind u... still so much in gd shape n radiant!!

he's cute.. n i'mm... funny.. he looks sexy in tis revealing attire.. hahah... but how come guys so not shy of looking so sexy?? n gers.. usualyl will?

ahhaha... bondage pix!! on TV!! left pic is "queen of the damned", the guy was tied up to prevent him from moving. "despo hsewife" is on rite.. the guy thot he's in for hot sex.. but nah.. it's a trick hahah.. i love the posture!!

long time no put his pic siazz!!! get ready for some hot n sizzling pix!!!

(blabbering my thots away, cos i at home)
studying for my maths exam... den saw a tv promo for "america's next top (female) model". they r in swimsuit (bikinis lah) posing in those snowy env. the photographers say "tat's great/gd/watever". den the voiceover added "want to see these hot girls ..." whcih i din bother to rmb.. den my mind flowed a thought: Are they hot? oh well, they're cold. LOL

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can i say, as fate wld have it? after my day was wasted for the interviews, at 8+ (i was watching channel U!! for adam!!) when a company called mi. 8pm+ siazz. it was ppl from a comp which ihad interviews at b4. tis time, a diff proj mgr. she wanna conduct phone interview.. wif mi. i hesitated, cos i totally unprep. but agreed to it still. no harm mah.

we discussed for a long while.. abt 30 mins. she ask lotsa qns, n i ans to best of my knwoledge. but tis job will b damn stress siazz... cos is focussing on fixing probs. i am surprised they still contact mi. but i heard from them, if i accepted, will need to still go thru many more interviews..

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den finally.. n sadly, n unfortunately, i back at work. sianz, at the start of work, i oredi din enjoy liao. my ideas dun clickwif my sup. n my ideas r wat he is thinking, but he din get it. we spent15 mins discussing it. n now, i'm tasked to dotesting... n thoroughly.. he say next wk will develop new tables.. i wonder if i'm being frozen by him... or he's preparing for the possibility tat i'm leaving.. haah.. wel, i keep getting calls!! wat to expect him to response??

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been a long time.. abt 2 wks liao.. no good news.. n i dun wan to spend time finding excuses n sending resume again.. i think i will accept the fate tat i'm stuck here, gain exp, n for pay wise, maybe negotiate wif them loh..

can i say today is a strange day?

it def'ly is. i woke at 6.50am. i observed tat the toilet will b used at tis hr, so i decided to b nice n dun use it til 705. but, no 1 use??
den i went to take my bfast. usually, bfast i def'ly no prob finishing. today, i left 1/4 mee there. cos i felt bloated.
den i went to take the free tabloid. i smiled at the ger who passed the paper to mi. i usually chat a bit wif her when the papers r given out liao. so smiling is not a big deal, or surprise. but when i smiled, she kinda 2 busy n carried on passing the paper to others..
1 consolation is tat, on teh train, got 1 good looking beng sat opposite mi.
den i actually arrived 45 mins earlier than my appt.
i was interviewed by a ger. i treated her as another interviewer. but was.. caught by surprise tat, she will b who i working wif hand-in-hand if i get the job. we had a good chat.. be it work, or studies. tis interview wif her lasted 1.5 hrs.
den i went up for prac test. somehow i know i'll kena prac test. n.. i had my work sample stored in my usb, BUT to save space, i deleted it. GOSH!! wat's tat??? so now, i have to depend on my real skills. its similar to wat i been doing in my current job. so i explained to her loh. everythign seem so smooth siazz.
jus den, the team lead came in. the ger told mit he work there 15 yrs liao. he n mi (wif the ger there) discussed y i leaving current job, n how i can possibly improve my current. i know he's got good intentions. so i said my point, n thx for his time. den i left. along the way, ger still treat mi well, chat wif mi. in all, i left the place 3.5 hrs later.
den i got a msg from my sis that she can lend mi calc for exam. wah liao, so late den say. i abt to go mi my frn, get my printout n calc from frn siazz.. i den thinking, shld i oso ask sis to print for mi, or still get from frn siazz.. i decided to get from frn, cos my sis usually is biz n work oriented. such personal printing, duno she ok anot. n oso, i jus recv msg tat, no 1 going for disucssion, cos 2 busy studying.
but u know, the printout is not exactly good, n the calc.. is not a model i'm used to.
den, i know how to get home, but walked the long way. even on the long way, i suddenly thto i can take another bus, which stop at my house directly.. end up i wasted half day travelling..

duno.. see wat fate has in store for mi..

every little thing does contribute to individual development

i've failed 1 mod b4 for my monash. now, facing 2 exams again. 1 is theory. 1 is calc. for theory, i myself feel it's good, cos i get to delve into my understanding of the subject and elaborate watever in my mind. for calc, it's basically memorising formulas n applying them appropriately. somehow, i feel tat the latter is more difficult for mi.

ytday (saturday), i tried VERY hard to make myself commit to studyign. but i failed. i got despondent. i kept escaping from reality (as usual) by doing some other things, n dun wanna focus on exams, yet. den when late evening came, i managed to start a lil. but when it came to a qn which i totally dun grasp, i felt helpless and.. hopeless. i was defeated by .. soem fears. i eventually escaped again by laying on my bed, and dozed off. i woke at 330am. replied 3 sms and went to sleep again.

in morning, i decided i shdl conquer my fears n really go onstudying. i den ironed my office attire for tues, wed n thur. i got interview on tues. while ironing, i actually reflected on lotsa thots: y am i gettign tis mod to study? it's calc and formulas. but den, by getting us to study some mods, there mus b a reason. my major is biz system n sys development. sys dev is jus IT. but biz sys requires biz mgmt thinking n analysis, requiring us to understand the biz logic n thinking n, based on given figures n facts, select the most suitable proj, without factoring in personal feelings if possible. mgmt sci is abt tat. y shld i b afraid n wanna escape from it? if i really manage to pass it (by chance luck or anythign), i'll b thrilled.

soehow, i have to convince myself tat, it's for the good of my future...

tata

i din have the tiem to write tis down.

*side thot* funny.. how come there r ppl who read my blog, but nvr bother to commment at all? n.. hhe.. i feel appreciated that, there r really ppl who read my blog, n wanna know mi better siazz..

ok serious stuff.

ytday, a scene on ch8 saddened me, brought back sad memo. aileen tan was chasing HYL outta her house, but HYL jus wun budge. aileen tan den bit HYL's arm to force him out. but HYL know he's in the wrong n wiling to b bitten, even if it means losing some flesh. den aileen bit real hard, resulting in HYL almost losing consciousness.

this scene really reminded me of... my sad past. someone has commented 爱由恨中生，因爱生恨. it really hurt mi once more. i wun mind, getting a flesh off my arm as well. i couldn't control myself. tears were flowing down. silently. it's really sad. feeling sad n down, but havign no 1 to listen to my sorrows, is not a gd feeeling.

aileen later made up wif HYL...

haha,, being wif some frns have helped mi develop my thking.. perhaps faster than other ppl.. n grown to b more sensitive n interpret body languages better. i can deduce wat ppl r thinking when they ask certain qns.. now i wonder, why some ppl r unable to guess hehe...

anyway, my days have been pretty exciting n adventurous... revolving around stranger guys...

1) i on way home, taking mrt. haha, the train just left, den i saw 1 decently dressed office guy standing at the yellow triangle box there. from sideway, he looks quite nice. haha, somehow, i den stood just beside him, looking at him every now n then. but he paiseh lah..

2) den after tis guy alighted, suddenly another china guy came over n stood at the side opposite mi. i glanced at him from head to toe.. felt funny. but he look alright lah. jus tat, he din seem to be bothered by our exchanges of looks.. we really exchanged lotsa looks... got a ger sitting beside mi. everytime i look at him. he wil see my eyes for a sec, n look at the ger.. den when i abt to alight, we lok at each other again..

3) next day, i was on my way to my first interview. as i boarded mrt, wah, i felt my elbow was rubbing n pressing onto some fleshes. haha, i was brushing the chest of a guy of my ht siazz!! but later on, i oso dunno if i shld move closer anot.. jus felt surprised to rub the chest, but he's not my type though

4) den after alighting, i went to board my bus. wah crampy. i was at the door, abt to go up, den saw a young dude waiting to board. as always, my principle is "let yandao board first" haha.. den hor, in the bus, it's CROWDED. n i took teh chance to stand behind yandao!! wahahha!!! every now n den, i'll look at him siazzz.. i even brushed his arms n back lol..

5) somehwo, i felt sexually deprived siazz.. u know, ytday, when i left home, i saw a group of guys downstair resting after their basketball. den got 1 topless guy wif his frns. i walked past them, n looked at them individually. for the topless guy, hehehe i openly looked into his chest.. n even saw his nipples.. gosh..

6) the next day, i boarded the mrt to work oso. wah this time crowded n GOSH, i came face to face with a beng (style, attitude, but no looks) right in front of mi in mrt!! as he stood so near, we almost like couple gd frns siazz.. as i thot of how to get near him, i got erections every now n den.. haha.. had wnana use my chest to touch his back, but 2 bad, my shirt pocket got mp3 player.. .argh...

k.. time to piazz exam!! wish mi luck, will u?