waiting "patiently" for 7th March to come.
these days, i've been kinda doing something not correct to myself. dun think 2 much lah.. it'c just tat i've been getting honry these days. den.. when i see ppl online, who meet my minimum requirements, i dun mind them coming over to my plc. i know it's too cheap for mi to b so. but somehow, when u r honry, can u think / bother so much?? but when u recover from ur moment of folly, u may regret it. tat u were so loose in ur selection.
so now, following maggie cheung's footstep (like real), i'll not volunteer or hint my intentions abt my honriness.. or perhaps, i wun suggest... perhaps will oni say my mood.. like "i'm honry".. but i shan't suggest any1 to come over. i'll suppress it, n tok normal wif ppl, but if they are sincere in "sharing the joy" wif mi, haha... :)
in the past, when i was still livign wif my family, i kinda din have any stds for meeting ppl. they dun have pic, nvm 1. come over, as long as body type ok, i dun mind doing things wif them, cos i am enjoying it. but now, i find tat i was torturing my body. perhaps i realyl looking jus for a channel to release myself. almost like a pro who have sex wif any1, who have the money. but for mi, it's for the sheer boredom n high sex drive. i hope it's not 2 late to ... make amends hahaha..
n soon.. i think i will b writing a letter to TODAY...
Monday, February 27, 2006
oh well.. i'm disappointed with liu xiao zhou. he failed my expectations BIG time.
i have a strange feeling today. my family went to bugis to ask for better fortune. the old ladies there prayed for us. she took out a piece of standard drawing. of 5 characters (due to religious reasons, i shant describe them). she chanted. i felt a surge of emotions. some kind of remorse? i wanna weep... but i din.
den, when mine's done, i stood at a corner, and saw a room of statues. i looked at them, n my heart atuomatically started chanting a line for calming of the heart..
=============
i admit i'm not gd at making frns, or even good at maintaining frnship wif new ppl. there is tis person from fridae. he look quite alright, jus alright oni. he msg mi in fridae for a quickie (really, cos he str8-4ward, ask mi if i wanna fun wif him). we exchange fri msg, n he gave mi his number. i sms him promptly.
he din reply. later, i add him in msn. he came home, i msg him. he say he's tired, n wanna slp. from den on, i did see him online in msn. no msg from him at all. nothign at all. den jus now, he msn mi, saying my msn pic is hot, and he WANT IT. i say i dun give msn pic to ppl who i seldom tok to. he say it's jus internet pic, not mine. he den suggested tat, we supposed to meet up still. i den gave him my number, n my sign name. he unhappyy.
den i qn him, he din reply my sms tat day. why? he gave mi some non-sensical reason: maybe he was usign work ph, my number, saved in hp, so when change ph, the number din appear properly. i reply, he enver had my numer/name all along. he den say he's sorry. den i told him, basicall,y i'm unhappy tat he din reply my sms, n msn oso. den he insisted he's sorry oredi. if i dun accept, den whole thing can b forgotten.
i den said, if he chose to forget the whole thing, fine. if not, we can still start off wif sms to rebuild the whole thing. he declined. alright den.
i think this is the meaning of saying sorry. Did he really mean to say it, or jus as courtesy?? sorry does not mean, jus saying so, but u have to prove/show y u think u r saying it. if u sorry liao, but still carry on ur attitude, wat diff it make??
i have a strange feeling today. my family went to bugis to ask for better fortune. the old ladies there prayed for us. she took out a piece of standard drawing. of 5 characters (due to religious reasons, i shant describe them). she chanted. i felt a surge of emotions. some kind of remorse? i wanna weep... but i din.
den, when mine's done, i stood at a corner, and saw a room of statues. i looked at them, n my heart atuomatically started chanting a line for calming of the heart..
=============
i admit i'm not gd at making frns, or even good at maintaining frnship wif new ppl. there is tis person from fridae. he look quite alright, jus alright oni. he msg mi in fridae for a quickie (really, cos he str8-4ward, ask mi if i wanna fun wif him). we exchange fri msg, n he gave mi his number. i sms him promptly.
he din reply. later, i add him in msn. he came home, i msg him. he say he's tired, n wanna slp. from den on, i did see him online in msn. no msg from him at all. nothign at all. den jus now, he msn mi, saying my msn pic is hot, and he WANT IT. i say i dun give msn pic to ppl who i seldom tok to. he say it's jus internet pic, not mine. he den suggested tat, we supposed to meet up still. i den gave him my number, n my sign name. he unhappyy.
den i qn him, he din reply my sms tat day. why? he gave mi some non-sensical reason: maybe he was usign work ph, my number, saved in hp, so when change ph, the number din appear properly. i reply, he enver had my numer/name all along. he den say he's sorry. den i told him, basicall,y i'm unhappy tat he din reply my sms, n msn oso. den he insisted he's sorry oredi. if i dun accept, den whole thing can b forgotten.
i den said, if he chose to forget the whole thing, fine. if not, we can still start off wif sms to rebuild the whole thing. he declined. alright den.
i think this is the meaning of saying sorry. Did he really mean to say it, or jus as courtesy?? sorry does not mean, jus saying so, but u have to prove/show y u think u r saying it. if u sorry liao, but still carry on ur attitude, wat diff it make??
Saturday, February 25, 2006
well, yes, once again, i'm proud tat i am finally staying on a job for almost a yr. during tis yr, i learnt a lot abt office attitudes. eg, y it's always good to have a learning attitude. instead of assume "u know it". n tat, although in office, everything is work n "it shld b done", but then, we oso have to depend on reln. simply 'cos it "shld b done" does not mean "it will b done". if u r on good terms wif a person, things will n can b sorted out easier. it's all abt building up of rapport.
n thinking back, it's also an accomplishment, when at times, my gal pal actually ask mi things which i am knwoledge enuff to tell her. 'cos all along, it's been her telling mi stuff, i seldom had the chance to tell her things whcih i know, cos she suually took effort to read up on it. yes i am lazy. including the time, ytday, when she ask mi "y shld she continue her job". well, she's still fast n quick thinker as usual, so, after tlling her my first line, she kinda know wat i tryign to say liao.
n at work, trusting a person's ability n living up to tat trust is utmost important in setting up a friendly n efficient workplace. someone passes a task. it means he has confidence tat u can do it n up to his expectations. if u do it swee swee (nicely), he knwo his trust in u is worthy of his belief in u. he will b able to trust wat u do in future, provided u dun fail his trust/expections. tis will lead to a more efficient n trusting env.
i read from the bk tat, some ppl have no such easy trust on others. they prefer to trust only when those ppl did soemthign to earn it.
however, once tat trust is broken, u can try to amend it. if both parties r working towards to re-building tat trust, soon, things shld b back to normal. however, if 1 party is not cooperating, den a boundary will be there, preventing smooth n efficient work env.
i'm saying these, cos KK dun blif n do wat i say. he doubts my words n abilities. yes, i have tis prob back in the past, but i did try my best to resolve it. now, i ask KK to do somethign, he delay it, and days later, it's not done yet. he's not doign thigns the way i did, or perhaps the way it had been done. until ytday, when the jnr is checkingt he report, den he dived into amending them.
n he was tokign to userB who seem to referrign to my userA case. he ask whether i spoke to userB b4. i said no. he tried arguing wif mi, but i simply told him flat on wat to do. he said, he'll rather wait for sup to b back. i ask him to check wif snr first. he stood up, and sat back, preferrignt o check wif sup. i knwo wat he's thinking: he wants to really check wif sup, n show tat i'm in the wrong, n put mi in bad light.
but later, he called userB back...
he: u rmb speaking to anyone on our side?
userB: ya.. ed
he: any1 else?
userB: i think ben oso
he: u rmb any1 else?
userB: no.. oni these 2
later, he put down the ph n spoke in a better tone to mi, tat somehow our cases cld b the same...
but wat i dun enjoy is, when the sup came back, he heard the whole thing, i told him my story, n he jsu came down onto mi, as tho he wanna eat mi up. he's right in his way, but tat dose not mean i did wrognly. mind him.
==============
anyway, my blog is not to focus on office stuff. i jus wanna lend my support to the NYP couple. she did nothign wrong. n HE as well. i jus wonder, y is the focus on the ger oni, n not much on the guy. is it due to the conservative mindset tat, gers shld b more decent?
everyone does thigns in the dark. jus a matter of whether it's being exposed anot. it's purely an unfortunate event that, it was spread like wild fire over the internet. n perhaps, as a student, the stereotype is students shld b at a learning age, and sex should not b an option. too bad, her doings on the bed have been exposed, and she has become a victim.
wat's more, TABLOIDS. they have the power of burning down a building with a flame. they wll do anuthing to sensationalise issues. i oso have some vids of myself posing here n there, n prtty erotic as well. but these r never shared wif anyoen, other than ppl i trust. i saw from papers tat she intends to stop schooling, but her parents encourage her to go on.
i'd say, let her rest for a period, and relax for a while. perhaps the boy can join her. let her relax, n come back to school again. it's a very painful experience for her, and she must get over it. no matter how long it takes. put it behind her, n get on her life.
n thinking back, it's also an accomplishment, when at times, my gal pal actually ask mi things which i am knwoledge enuff to tell her. 'cos all along, it's been her telling mi stuff, i seldom had the chance to tell her things whcih i know, cos she suually took effort to read up on it. yes i am lazy. including the time, ytday, when she ask mi "y shld she continue her job". well, she's still fast n quick thinker as usual, so, after tlling her my first line, she kinda know wat i tryign to say liao.
n at work, trusting a person's ability n living up to tat trust is utmost important in setting up a friendly n efficient workplace. someone passes a task. it means he has confidence tat u can do it n up to his expectations. if u do it swee swee (nicely), he knwo his trust in u is worthy of his belief in u. he will b able to trust wat u do in future, provided u dun fail his trust/expections. tis will lead to a more efficient n trusting env.
i read from the bk tat, some ppl have no such easy trust on others. they prefer to trust only when those ppl did soemthign to earn it.
however, once tat trust is broken, u can try to amend it. if both parties r working towards to re-building tat trust, soon, things shld b back to normal. however, if 1 party is not cooperating, den a boundary will be there, preventing smooth n efficient work env.
i'm saying these, cos KK dun blif n do wat i say. he doubts my words n abilities. yes, i have tis prob back in the past, but i did try my best to resolve it. now, i ask KK to do somethign, he delay it, and days later, it's not done yet. he's not doign thigns the way i did, or perhaps the way it had been done. until ytday, when the jnr is checkingt he report, den he dived into amending them.
n he was tokign to userB who seem to referrign to my userA case. he ask whether i spoke to userB b4. i said no. he tried arguing wif mi, but i simply told him flat on wat to do. he said, he'll rather wait for sup to b back. i ask him to check wif snr first. he stood up, and sat back, preferrignt o check wif sup. i knwo wat he's thinking: he wants to really check wif sup, n show tat i'm in the wrong, n put mi in bad light.
but later, he called userB back...
he: u rmb speaking to anyone on our side?
userB: ya.. ed
he: any1 else?
userB: i think ben oso
he: u rmb any1 else?
userB: no.. oni these 2
later, he put down the ph n spoke in a better tone to mi, tat somehow our cases cld b the same...
but wat i dun enjoy is, when the sup came back, he heard the whole thing, i told him my story, n he jsu came down onto mi, as tho he wanna eat mi up. he's right in his way, but tat dose not mean i did wrognly. mind him.
==============
anyway, my blog is not to focus on office stuff. i jus wanna lend my support to the NYP couple. she did nothign wrong. n HE as well. i jus wonder, y is the focus on the ger oni, n not much on the guy. is it due to the conservative mindset tat, gers shld b more decent?
everyone does thigns in the dark. jus a matter of whether it's being exposed anot. it's purely an unfortunate event that, it was spread like wild fire over the internet. n perhaps, as a student, the stereotype is students shld b at a learning age, and sex should not b an option. too bad, her doings on the bed have been exposed, and she has become a victim.
wat's more, TABLOIDS. they have the power of burning down a building with a flame. they wll do anuthing to sensationalise issues. i oso have some vids of myself posing here n there, n prtty erotic as well. but these r never shared wif anyoen, other than ppl i trust. i saw from papers tat she intends to stop schooling, but her parents encourage her to go on.
i'd say, let her rest for a period, and relax for a while. perhaps the boy can join her. let her relax, n come back to school again. it's a very painful experience for her, and she must get over it. no matter how long it takes. put it behind her, n get on her life.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
replying some blog comments. (oh gosh, long time din check my gal's blog)
"I'm back in the UK, very jetlagged but alive. I'm glad we had the opportunity to shop for your power supply on Saturday"
yep, thx for buying the PSU for mi :)
" OMg then can u at least post some pictures of rain concert leh lets horny togeter "
i wonder who huh>?!?!??! come on, show urself!!! i really dunno who u r..
"You should only resign when you have signed a contract with your new firm. So when you've decided, then sign the contract and only then resign from your current firm."
true, but i told my comp, i need 1 mth notice, so tat i wun sound tat "delayed" to them. in actual fact, i need 45 days. it's a totally diff scenario in the days' diff. i somehow have confidence tat the new comp is sincere in signing mi up, and not to delay the time to join, i have to make a choice. i decide to trust them.
but the singtel, it turned out tat the interview was off...
==================
seeing tat other countries have riots easily, i am thnking, why does not singapore have any? is it we are too pre-occupied with our work? or the law here is so super? Or we know how to cause a havoc without rioting?
================
monday.
sunday was a thoroughly boring and useless day. nothing good n valuable was done at all.basically idling time away. no mood/motivation to read my java oso. den monday, was oso a quite a sucky day. no reason. jus felt... i din enjoy my wkend tat much, n felt i MUZ b back in office again?
"I'm back in the UK, very jetlagged but alive. I'm glad we had the opportunity to shop for your power supply on Saturday"
yep, thx for buying the PSU for mi :)
" OMg then can u at least post some pictures of rain concert leh lets horny togeter "
i wonder who huh>?!?!??! come on, show urself!!! i really dunno who u r..
"You should only resign when you have signed a contract with your new firm. So when you've decided, then sign the contract and only then resign from your current firm."
true, but i told my comp, i need 1 mth notice, so tat i wun sound tat "delayed" to them. in actual fact, i need 45 days. it's a totally diff scenario in the days' diff. i somehow have confidence tat the new comp is sincere in signing mi up, and not to delay the time to join, i have to make a choice. i decide to trust them.
but the singtel, it turned out tat the interview was off...
==================
seeing tat other countries have riots easily, i am thnking, why does not singapore have any? is it we are too pre-occupied with our work? or the law here is so super? Or we know how to cause a havoc without rioting?
================
monday.
sunday was a thoroughly boring and useless day. nothing good n valuable was done at all.basically idling time away. no mood/motivation to read my java oso. den monday, was oso a quite a sucky day. no reason. jus felt... i din enjoy my wkend tat much, n felt i MUZ b back in office again?
Saturday, February 18, 2006
after nt being at my comptuer for some time, seem like i got lotsa things to do...
surprise surprise... a frn who i know during poly days... we r not tat close, but we do meet up as group every now n den.. this frn, she actually read my blog from time to time.. cool...
there's this guy.. his way of speaking is something i din, or never, exprienced b4.. we had a few conversations over the ph. the first 1, he called suddenly, n i din really know wat to tok about. the next time, it was a better try. but somehow, it ended up badly, as he sounded as though he was telling mi wat i shld b doing, wat i had done. the 3rd 1, i simply dun wish to tok much wif him. the conversation ended in minutes. the 4th one, he was about to hang up, when i told him why i was so quiet. we both finalyl chatted quite a lot.. enjoyable chat. n i apologised for sounding harsh earlier on, when i spoke my mind.. it was really enjoyable.. it is discussing topics wif depth. not mere bitching or gossiping, but even sharing our thoughts n ideas on issues. Until now, i din have any such discussions, other than my oz pals.
on our 5th chat on friday, he sounded nervous (well, haha, wat can i epxect?) n dun wan tok 2 much, in case we cant click well, n nothingt tok..
haha.. n i really jialut at directions.. i am a true blue singaporean (i'm born here, i mean) but i actually can miss holland V stop siazz. oh well, my "where is hell shld i b alighting??" mentality got the better of mi. i was thinking, how do i proceed? wah liao.. shld i jus get home n forget abt meeting, or jus./.. bear the hot sun n take another bus? i was really hot in my head. but as i went over to take a return bus, i cooled down, n thot it was jus my luck. but hor, wah wait for bus oso damn long.
hehe, my cool headed'ness paid off. he's not bad looking. quite impressive is my impresion. no other words i know fits better. haha.. it's enjoyable =D
umm.. is there anyone still wearing a watch to tell time? a watch is basically for time telling, but wif a hp, does it still help? i thinking of removing my watch..
guo mei mei has finally shown her face. comparing her "love is a song to you" wif celest's style of singing, both are pulling the high notes wif almost a screeching tone. but y is GMM able to... have a wide fan base, but celest's is shrinking?
final note: sianzz... any way to motivate my self to keep on studying (revising, refreshing my knowledge) java, with burning passion?? i know i shld b doing it, but .. argh.. am i missing something? sighzzz.. too cooped up at home? controlling my budget better?
surprise surprise... a frn who i know during poly days... we r not tat close, but we do meet up as group every now n den.. this frn, she actually read my blog from time to time.. cool...
there's this guy.. his way of speaking is something i din, or never, exprienced b4.. we had a few conversations over the ph. the first 1, he called suddenly, n i din really know wat to tok about. the next time, it was a better try. but somehow, it ended up badly, as he sounded as though he was telling mi wat i shld b doing, wat i had done. the 3rd 1, i simply dun wish to tok much wif him. the conversation ended in minutes. the 4th one, he was about to hang up, when i told him why i was so quiet. we both finalyl chatted quite a lot.. enjoyable chat. n i apologised for sounding harsh earlier on, when i spoke my mind.. it was really enjoyable.. it is discussing topics wif depth. not mere bitching or gossiping, but even sharing our thoughts n ideas on issues. Until now, i din have any such discussions, other than my oz pals.
on our 5th chat on friday, he sounded nervous (well, haha, wat can i epxect?) n dun wan tok 2 much, in case we cant click well, n nothingt tok..
haha.. n i really jialut at directions.. i am a true blue singaporean (i'm born here, i mean) but i actually can miss holland V stop siazz. oh well, my "where is hell shld i b alighting??" mentality got the better of mi. i was thinking, how do i proceed? wah liao.. shld i jus get home n forget abt meeting, or jus./.. bear the hot sun n take another bus? i was really hot in my head. but as i went over to take a return bus, i cooled down, n thot it was jus my luck. but hor, wah wait for bus oso damn long.
hehe, my cool headed'ness paid off. he's not bad looking. quite impressive is my impresion. no other words i know fits better. haha.. it's enjoyable =D
umm.. is there anyone still wearing a watch to tell time? a watch is basically for time telling, but wif a hp, does it still help? i thinking of removing my watch..
guo mei mei has finally shown her face. comparing her "love is a song to you" wif celest's style of singing, both are pulling the high notes wif almost a screeching tone. but y is GMM able to... have a wide fan base, but celest's is shrinking?
final note: sianzz... any way to motivate my self to keep on studying (revising, refreshing my knowledge) java, with burning passion?? i know i shld b doing it, but .. argh.. am i missing something? sighzzz.. too cooped up at home? controlling my budget better?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
i seem to b able to feel whether somethign is going on properly anot...
today, somethign big happened at the helpdesk.. wow...
ok. i took dinner... now i know liao.. at home, i shld take 3 bowls of rice, den soup. this is full course. followed by a drnk, tis full set will make mi real full.
after dine at home, i left my hse. the door not locked. but all the way, soemthing is not right. the traffic change too fast. i have to wait for 2nd round. den when jaywalk, suddenly, i seme like i din check the whole situation properly, ending up, i have to wait. like wrong estimation. as i walk up the stairs, i thot of switching off my mp3 player liao. jus den, i realise something BAD.
i forgot to take my keys!!! i left it at home!!! damn !!
the only way is to go back home to get it. sighzz.. as i walked home, suddenly got a person (seem like guy) wif blonde hair, exercise wear. den funy, on my way after takignt he keys, i saw him again, this time he's walking home..
today, somethign big happened at the helpdesk.. wow...
ok. i took dinner... now i know liao.. at home, i shld take 3 bowls of rice, den soup. this is full course. followed by a drnk, tis full set will make mi real full.
after dine at home, i left my hse. the door not locked. but all the way, soemthing is not right. the traffic change too fast. i have to wait for 2nd round. den when jaywalk, suddenly, i seme like i din check the whole situation properly, ending up, i have to wait. like wrong estimation. as i walk up the stairs, i thot of switching off my mp3 player liao. jus den, i realise something BAD.
i forgot to take my keys!!! i left it at home!!! damn !!
the only way is to go back home to get it. sighzz.. as i walked home, suddenly got a person (seem like guy) wif blonde hair, exercise wear. den funy, on my way after takignt he keys, i saw him again, this time he's walking home..
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
it seems like there is a reason for everything tat's happening to mi.
moving out: i've stayed by myself for almost 2 yrs. during this period, i truly learnt how to fend for myself, n stand up for myself. perhaps, thru this process, i learnt abt being confident? or maybe i am clearer abt my stand now, so i am more confident. these few mths, i am oso able to see things better (not the eye sight), n appreciate things more. like now, i tend not to shout at my mum.
2 reasons. wat';s done is done. shouting n scolding no use. it's jus getting u frustrated n my mum feeling bad. scolding never does anything good. it';s hurts a reln. i'll prefer to stay quiet, n do things the correct way in my view.
and, she is my mum. i dun wan to lose temper at her unnecessarily. having been thru ups n downs, i can put myself in her shoes better. in past, she always do things for us, without asking for payback. to the pt of getting up in midst of night, to ensure the clothes r ready for wearing, n tat, taking care of the family as best she can. but, being a human, n a emotional mum, she too has her tantrums. but my siblings still take her for granted. questioning y she did things w/o telling them.
n yes, being a mum, n mi the youngest child who she always deems mi unable to take care of myself, she will wanna cook my every meal, ensure i have a good dinner. in the past, if soemthing's not right, i;'ll get sensitive, n rant off. now, i jus (learn from my sis) keep quiet, n do wat i need to make things right. n abt the meal thing, to the pt tat, even if i hungry, she readily make a quick meal for mi. i appreciate tat, cos, if my bf is hungry, i sure oso over-react n respond fast like her. wat;'s more, i'm her baby, n the youngest. i rmb, during the CNY reunion dine, she was doing some last min food prep. i ask her to eat first. den when she eat, i saw her utensils not ready, so i took for her.
n last yr, a frn (personal frn, fridae frn) who i thot will b fun if we could b together, had taught mi tat, as long as u knw wat u r doing, dun worry, jus do so. y bother abt ppl's views?
rmb mi toking abt my eyes twitching? i think it's a way of letting mi knw certain thing will happen. n letting mi learn how to deal wif uncertainties of life. i'm not sure how true is my thinking, but it's how i see it.
n, all along, i been working in helpdesk positions. since day 1 of fulltime work, i oni had 1 programming position, whcih i din really work hard for. i take them for granted, n din see the need to fight for the post. den now, after being stuck in various helpdesk jobs for so long, i'm pretty sure where i really wanna go, for now. programming in java, ie. i knw i dun wan to b stuck in helpdesk, cos it's not my personality to b helpless, n b dependent on others. u know, we can oni try out wat has been proven right. i've been stuck in these places for so long tat, i really determined to b a programmer again. this is my motivation. perhaps if this route din happen, i wun b so determined to achieve my dreams.
as programmers, if i see soemthing not right, i have the power to change it. n being in helpdesk, helped in my communications n thinking n analysis. i am better able to speak over the ph.
moving out: i've stayed by myself for almost 2 yrs. during this period, i truly learnt how to fend for myself, n stand up for myself. perhaps, thru this process, i learnt abt being confident? or maybe i am clearer abt my stand now, so i am more confident. these few mths, i am oso able to see things better (not the eye sight), n appreciate things more. like now, i tend not to shout at my mum.
2 reasons. wat';s done is done. shouting n scolding no use. it's jus getting u frustrated n my mum feeling bad. scolding never does anything good. it';s hurts a reln. i'll prefer to stay quiet, n do things the correct way in my view.
and, she is my mum. i dun wan to lose temper at her unnecessarily. having been thru ups n downs, i can put myself in her shoes better. in past, she always do things for us, without asking for payback. to the pt of getting up in midst of night, to ensure the clothes r ready for wearing, n tat, taking care of the family as best she can. but, being a human, n a emotional mum, she too has her tantrums. but my siblings still take her for granted. questioning y she did things w/o telling them.
n yes, being a mum, n mi the youngest child who she always deems mi unable to take care of myself, she will wanna cook my every meal, ensure i have a good dinner. in the past, if soemthing's not right, i;'ll get sensitive, n rant off. now, i jus (learn from my sis) keep quiet, n do wat i need to make things right. n abt the meal thing, to the pt tat, even if i hungry, she readily make a quick meal for mi. i appreciate tat, cos, if my bf is hungry, i sure oso over-react n respond fast like her. wat;'s more, i'm her baby, n the youngest. i rmb, during the CNY reunion dine, she was doing some last min food prep. i ask her to eat first. den when she eat, i saw her utensils not ready, so i took for her.
n last yr, a frn (personal frn, fridae frn) who i thot will b fun if we could b together, had taught mi tat, as long as u knw wat u r doing, dun worry, jus do so. y bother abt ppl's views?
rmb mi toking abt my eyes twitching? i think it's a way of letting mi knw certain thing will happen. n letting mi learn how to deal wif uncertainties of life. i'm not sure how true is my thinking, but it's how i see it.
n, all along, i been working in helpdesk positions. since day 1 of fulltime work, i oni had 1 programming position, whcih i din really work hard for. i take them for granted, n din see the need to fight for the post. den now, after being stuck in various helpdesk jobs for so long, i'm pretty sure where i really wanna go, for now. programming in java, ie. i knw i dun wan to b stuck in helpdesk, cos it's not my personality to b helpless, n b dependent on others. u know, we can oni try out wat has been proven right. i've been stuck in these places for so long tat, i really determined to b a programmer again. this is my motivation. perhaps if this route din happen, i wun b so determined to achieve my dreams.
as programmers, if i see soemthing not right, i have the power to change it. n being in helpdesk, helped in my communications n thinking n analysis. i am better able to speak over the ph.
haha, saw from a fridae pal description, tat he likes someone, n hope time can stop, den he can b wif tat person forever.
how many times, when we r deeply infatuated wif a person, we hope such things will happen.. but it certainly takes much more for it to happen.
ok, back to mi. seem like i have a confident n mature side of mi, who intends to have a proper frnship wif ppl who appeal to urs truly. however, when something good turns out, like we really can click, n keep in touch, i will hope somethign good will result. is this the lonesome side of mi doing tricks? pining for a possible partner to b wif mi?
Or is this the hope of everyone, who is not deeply attached to someone lovingly?
n when the person, does not appear to b tat interested in mi, i start to feel dejected in LTR again. or am i thinking 2 much, n hoping 2 much things to happen in 2 short a time? oh well, i promised myself, i'll take things slowly, n promised him as well. he jus got off a reln... before which he was always cinging on to gers. either we stay as frns, or progress.. see abt it first.
BUT 1 thing i mus change is, when ppl shows some poor or slow response, i shld not b so conclusive n think tat e person is tired of toking to mi... esp when the plc is SO noisy! but overall, i did enjoy my time on VALENTINE DAY!!
HAPPY belated VALENTINE'S DAY!!! ALL HUMANS, LIVING THINGS, N ANYTHING THAT HAS AN EXPIRY DATE!!!
how many times, when we r deeply infatuated wif a person, we hope such things will happen.. but it certainly takes much more for it to happen.
ok, back to mi. seem like i have a confident n mature side of mi, who intends to have a proper frnship wif ppl who appeal to urs truly. however, when something good turns out, like we really can click, n keep in touch, i will hope somethign good will result. is this the lonesome side of mi doing tricks? pining for a possible partner to b wif mi?
Or is this the hope of everyone, who is not deeply attached to someone lovingly?
n when the person, does not appear to b tat interested in mi, i start to feel dejected in LTR again. or am i thinking 2 much, n hoping 2 much things to happen in 2 short a time? oh well, i promised myself, i'll take things slowly, n promised him as well. he jus got off a reln... before which he was always cinging on to gers. either we stay as frns, or progress.. see abt it first.
BUT 1 thing i mus change is, when ppl shows some poor or slow response, i shld not b so conclusive n think tat e person is tired of toking to mi... esp when the plc is SO noisy! but overall, i did enjoy my time on VALENTINE DAY!!
HAPPY belated VALENTINE'S DAY!!! ALL HUMANS, LIVING THINGS, N ANYTHING THAT HAS AN EXPIRY DATE!!!
Monday, February 13, 2006
heh, will it b 2 much to say? jus when i'm having problem deciding where to eat, the jnr coleague n KK stepped in to say, the place n food does not matter. it's jus the few hrs anyway.
well, to mi, it does. the place shld have the ambience tat's conducive for our moods. not necessary romantic or silent, but it shld cater to y we wanna dine. for a simple fare of get together, kopi tiam no prob. for ppl who prefer a relaxed plc to dine n enjoy anything (non sexual), a proper restaurant is good, so tat there will b no unnecessary inconvenience. for catching up, if the person is a veli chinese, den sure kopi tiam is enuff. but if it's ppl who is modern n prefer buzzy area, starbux is perfect.
so for mi, tmr is valentine. i wna things to turn out nicely. i am inot romantic settings n surprises. within my budget stuff. i oni knw local n jap food. he is ok wif jap. n i got 10% disc at ajisen. so go eat there loh. if go foodcourts for jap food, yes it's jap, but the feeling n ambience is diff. at restaurant, still got ppl to serve us haha...
well, to mi, it does. the place shld have the ambience tat's conducive for our moods. not necessary romantic or silent, but it shld cater to y we wanna dine. for a simple fare of get together, kopi tiam no prob. for ppl who prefer a relaxed plc to dine n enjoy anything (non sexual), a proper restaurant is good, so tat there will b no unnecessary inconvenience. for catching up, if the person is a veli chinese, den sure kopi tiam is enuff. but if it's ppl who is modern n prefer buzzy area, starbux is perfect.
so for mi, tmr is valentine. i wna things to turn out nicely. i am inot romantic settings n surprises. within my budget stuff. i oni knw local n jap food. he is ok wif jap. n i got 10% disc at ajisen. so go eat there loh. if go foodcourts for jap food, yes it's jap, but the feeling n ambience is diff. at restaurant, still got ppl to serve us haha...
about work:
went to sign the letter liao luh!! but.. the start date is 22mar. my official last day is 23. but i intend to clear my leave on 22n23. boss say ok. oni scared last min they break promise.
valentine day:
wat's exactly going on?
i had confidence n know wat i am doing when i arrange for apptmts. but today, when i tried to arrange for 1, i got EMOTIOANLLY CHARGED. i am so worried tat the time wud not suit the schedule, n whether i am confident of getting the seat.
i have 1 restaurant in mind. but i'm knocking off at 8pm. the restaurant will b packed (by std timing, let alone 14th feb). packed till i not sure, or even no chance that by 8pm, seats still available. but i know, the dinner mus still go on. i went to the jap restaurant below my office. wah, EX n abnormal menu. but i booked the seat for 2 at 7pm.
it's SO werid n insincere n evil if i ask my date to chop a seat, n wait for mi there. i'm initiating the dinner, n yet ask him wait for mi?? no way.
i den thot of changing the time to lunch instead. wah, i seriously dunno if the time can match. will it b 2 rushing??
for a moment, .... i felt tat, i'm losing control of myself. totally. where is the confident mi?? the confident person who knwo wat he's doing, n y he's doing it? i'm getting too much into the appointment. thinking of planning the appointment, but no confidence of whether i'm setting the correct time or not.
oh well, perhaps it's supposed to b a relaxed n "casual" dinner, but if it's too crowded, it may not be tat enjoyable after all, which is not wat shld happen.
perhaps the fear of doing something not rite is getting inot mi. too much, into mi. it's nice, but definitely not gd in the long run. i will become a crybaby. n a decision-asker, instead of maker.
1 thing i can confirm, i dun think i'm treating it as a mere meal. more to the start of a process to knwo a person better. if i'm emotionally charged, i may think too personally, not able to see the full pic.
as i went to get some water, during the walking, i actually felt the emotional strain. the pressure of acceptance. for a long time, i've not experienced 2 sides of mi. or rather, for the first time. 1 is emotionally charged mi. 1 is the confident mi. i'm waiting for a confirmation sms for timing.
1 side of mi says, is the person alright? shld i call to check? why no reply sms yet?
1 side of mi says, well, i'm waiting for a confirmation sms. wat is there to worry?
went to sign the letter liao luh!! but.. the start date is 22mar. my official last day is 23. but i intend to clear my leave on 22n23. boss say ok. oni scared last min they break promise.
valentine day:
wat's exactly going on?
i had confidence n know wat i am doing when i arrange for apptmts. but today, when i tried to arrange for 1, i got EMOTIOANLLY CHARGED. i am so worried tat the time wud not suit the schedule, n whether i am confident of getting the seat.
i have 1 restaurant in mind. but i'm knocking off at 8pm. the restaurant will b packed (by std timing, let alone 14th feb). packed till i not sure, or even no chance that by 8pm, seats still available. but i know, the dinner mus still go on. i went to the jap restaurant below my office. wah, EX n abnormal menu. but i booked the seat for 2 at 7pm.
it's SO werid n insincere n evil if i ask my date to chop a seat, n wait for mi there. i'm initiating the dinner, n yet ask him wait for mi?? no way.
i den thot of changing the time to lunch instead. wah, i seriously dunno if the time can match. will it b 2 rushing??
for a moment, .... i felt tat, i'm losing control of myself. totally. where is the confident mi?? the confident person who knwo wat he's doing, n y he's doing it? i'm getting too much into the appointment. thinking of planning the appointment, but no confidence of whether i'm setting the correct time or not.
oh well, perhaps it's supposed to b a relaxed n "casual" dinner, but if it's too crowded, it may not be tat enjoyable after all, which is not wat shld happen.
perhaps the fear of doing something not rite is getting inot mi. too much, into mi. it's nice, but definitely not gd in the long run. i will become a crybaby. n a decision-asker, instead of maker.
1 thing i can confirm, i dun think i'm treating it as a mere meal. more to the start of a process to knwo a person better. if i'm emotionally charged, i may think too personally, not able to see the full pic.
as i went to get some water, during the walking, i actually felt the emotional strain. the pressure of acceptance. for a long time, i've not experienced 2 sides of mi. or rather, for the first time. 1 is emotionally charged mi. 1 is the confident mi. i'm waiting for a confirmation sms for timing.
1 side of mi says, is the person alright? shld i call to check? why no reply sms yet?
1 side of mi says, well, i'm waiting for a confirmation sms. wat is there to worry?
Sunday, February 12, 2006
blabbering watever in my mind now... simply 2 free n my mind dun wan b tied down to reading up j2se stuff... (DARN)
sianzz.. err.. dun wan make it into my grumbling page. now, downloaded some j2se ide to try out.
i am 26 tis yr liao. but i'm still living my life in the same old way. dun see any change in it, other than maturity in my mindset n career direction. i am more confident in my language and communication skills. n knw the reason behind many things whcih i din realise... such as finishing my deg course ASAP. in past, i din think much of the adv of obtaining a deg. feeling tat it's jus another lvl of edu. tat y i din feel it's necessary to finish it ASAP, as, to mi, it's jus studying. but now, as i see my finance status clearer (not clearly yet), n felt it's a MUZ to finish in shortest time possible. cos, if i dun fisnih it, it'll b a burden on mi financially.. which i dun wan sustain much longer. i duno if the deg will help mi in future anot, but i jus wanna finish it. haha.. my planning sux huh?
um, my blog is quite messy lah.. not organised in terms of contents, cos 2 much to write, n din have a chance to. like.. last wk, the sat n sun, i totally not at home. accompanying my briton frn here/there for "shopping". den next day, go chalet n relaxed there. den met a frn for dine. everythign is pretty fun. esp now tat i'm more comfortable wif myself (lively, chatty n perhaps havoc), i can give pretty fun chats in the proper manner. den suddenly, tis wk, sat n sun, i nothing to do, other than fixing my pc n reading. wah, big change in lifestyle siazz..
after coming back from australia, n been thru downs, i'm better able to understand why ppl do certain thigns. as in, if ppl like u, they wun hesitate to help u. some ppl may even b eager to help u. somehow, if u understand how emotions work, u will know wat will happen next...
being cool headed most times is nice. but when u meet someone who just give u tat special feeling, u can try ur best, but ur heart n mind will still b in a mess. ur heart tells u, u really wanna him by ur side, n know him better. personally n physically. butur mind tells u, takes things slowly. good things come to those who wait. if he's urs, he can't siam. u have ot take thigns easy, but not sloppy. show tat u treasure him, but not irritate him. haha..
sianzz.. err.. dun wan make it into my grumbling page. now, downloaded some j2se ide to try out.
i am 26 tis yr liao. but i'm still living my life in the same old way. dun see any change in it, other than maturity in my mindset n career direction. i am more confident in my language and communication skills. n knw the reason behind many things whcih i din realise... such as finishing my deg course ASAP. in past, i din think much of the adv of obtaining a deg. feeling tat it's jus another lvl of edu. tat y i din feel it's necessary to finish it ASAP, as, to mi, it's jus studying. but now, as i see my finance status clearer (not clearly yet), n felt it's a MUZ to finish in shortest time possible. cos, if i dun fisnih it, it'll b a burden on mi financially.. which i dun wan sustain much longer. i duno if the deg will help mi in future anot, but i jus wanna finish it. haha.. my planning sux huh?
um, my blog is quite messy lah.. not organised in terms of contents, cos 2 much to write, n din have a chance to. like.. last wk, the sat n sun, i totally not at home. accompanying my briton frn here/there for "shopping". den next day, go chalet n relaxed there. den met a frn for dine. everythign is pretty fun. esp now tat i'm more comfortable wif myself (lively, chatty n perhaps havoc), i can give pretty fun chats in the proper manner. den suddenly, tis wk, sat n sun, i nothing to do, other than fixing my pc n reading. wah, big change in lifestyle siazz..
after coming back from australia, n been thru downs, i'm better able to understand why ppl do certain thigns. as in, if ppl like u, they wun hesitate to help u. some ppl may even b eager to help u. somehow, if u understand how emotions work, u will know wat will happen next...
being cool headed most times is nice. but when u meet someone who just give u tat special feeling, u can try ur best, but ur heart n mind will still b in a mess. ur heart tells u, u really wanna him by ur side, n know him better. personally n physically. butur mind tells u, takes things slowly. good things come to those who wait. if he's urs, he can't siam. u have ot take thigns easy, but not sloppy. show tat u treasure him, but not irritate him. haha..
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Friday, February 10, 2006
(last night) sighzz.. a bit lazy to blog sizz..
(morning) haha, a new refresh mi... a load is off my shoulders now. yes, it's the new job offer. well, we tok over ph last mon, they say ok tat i start in end mar. den for 4 days, they din call mi at all. ytday, i called them, wanna b firm on my stand, tat if they still not ready, i gonna sign on another job. so i called, turned out tat, the start date they not ok, saying tat the proj will b ending by the time i join. den i told them, i actaully need 1 mth notice still. he say "ya ya, 1 mth is ok" n ask when i can join earlier. in end, i confirmed wif my boss, tat my last day is 23rd Mar, but clearing leave on 22 and 23, while i start work in new plc on 23rd mar. phew, still 1 day to rest. n i confirmed... i borrowed a bk on java 1.4, to read on some practical egs. den will borrow exam kit to buck up on my theories. oh ya, will b signing contract on monday.
will tis be a long blog siazz??
watching ch U's campus superstar repeat. i really admire youngsters these days, so many channels for them to explore and express themselves. the world is really changing. but actually, wat (exactly) brings about the change? i admire their courage to sing in public. somehow, i love singing, but dun have the courage to do so in public. no confidence. but when a mike is in hand, i am ready to sing.
i am seeing a big change in my life now. not gonna elab so much. but think abt it. my hp plan will reduce drastically from 70$ a mth to25.20$ a mth. no rental. earning more money. going into my beloved programming lang. i'm changing from a person who pursues relns to someone who treasures frnship, n hope such frnship can last. i am oso not tat defensive abt my opinions, ideas, and comments, whenever soemone tries to overrule them. once my pt has been made, i wun wan to defend further. it's no longer about winning a case, but more to making my pt clearly. a few msn frns, they r still looking and longing for a LTR. they r my age or even older. they hope the person they like will turn out to b their life partner. but is keeping a LTR so hard? or jus gay world? gay world, referring tot he desire for better sex, exciting sex, n perhaps diff partners. n i'm more confident of my abilities, image, n relationship skills. although i still need to buck up. and i have been living independently for almost 2 years. independency helped to develop my survivial skills, individual thinking, nad self-worthness thoughts. Or rather, soem frns made me realise that.
*can any1 tell mi, wat shld i do when, my mum keeps yelling at mi for not willing to help my bro for internet issues, when i am in NO position to help? i cant tell her off. i can oni take it n bear it..*
i've finally worked at a place for almost a year. realised tat the corporate world is really not tat simplistic. trust and communication is utmost important. when i first started on the job, oh well, my attitude was not tat gd, cos i felt cheated. i supposed to be tecnician, solving PC issues hands-on. but ended up in helpdesk, picking phones. den when i accepted my fate, i have probs communicating wif my team. diff expectations n work values. whne they tell mi somethigns, i got defensive. i thot they were trying to make mi look bad.
mths on, i was better able to click wif them. den a new colleague, KK, came in. he is my jnr, n i was glad to guide him along. later on, another new ger came in. i have lotsa bad impressions of the comp, but no 1 for mi to share it wif. so i decided to bfrn tat ger. things turned out GOOD. i clciked wif her, n played wif her. n even cameout to her, due to tis, we can tok abt guys. i dun have to keep my opinions abt gers anymore. i can oso bitch wif her abt office stuff.
but i nvr realise tat, the jnr staff who seem to be on nice terms wif snr, oso have some bad things to tok abt snr. when she suddenly revealed her feelings to mi abt snr, i was stunned. from then on, anything abt KK or snr, i directly shared wif her.
being an experienced staff, i am able to tell them wat to do form my experience. haha, tis is certainly where "mins 2-4 yrs exp" comes in. some things r not tat clear cut, n needs exp to solve them. n having been thru some "acceptance" stage at this place, i can better understand how KK felt. when he evolved from a staff attendignt o customers n interacting directly wif them, to a staff picking up ph calls.
haha.. my, it's really seeing a REAL diff aspect of life.
(morning) haha, a new refresh mi... a load is off my shoulders now. yes, it's the new job offer. well, we tok over ph last mon, they say ok tat i start in end mar. den for 4 days, they din call mi at all. ytday, i called them, wanna b firm on my stand, tat if they still not ready, i gonna sign on another job. so i called, turned out tat, the start date they not ok, saying tat the proj will b ending by the time i join. den i told them, i actaully need 1 mth notice still. he say "ya ya, 1 mth is ok" n ask when i can join earlier. in end, i confirmed wif my boss, tat my last day is 23rd Mar, but clearing leave on 22 and 23, while i start work in new plc on 23rd mar. phew, still 1 day to rest. n i confirmed... i borrowed a bk on java 1.4, to read on some practical egs. den will borrow exam kit to buck up on my theories. oh ya, will b signing contract on monday.
will tis be a long blog siazz??
watching ch U's campus superstar repeat. i really admire youngsters these days, so many channels for them to explore and express themselves. the world is really changing. but actually, wat (exactly) brings about the change? i admire their courage to sing in public. somehow, i love singing, but dun have the courage to do so in public. no confidence. but when a mike is in hand, i am ready to sing.
i am seeing a big change in my life now. not gonna elab so much. but think abt it. my hp plan will reduce drastically from 70$ a mth to25.20$ a mth. no rental. earning more money. going into my beloved programming lang. i'm changing from a person who pursues relns to someone who treasures frnship, n hope such frnship can last. i am oso not tat defensive abt my opinions, ideas, and comments, whenever soemone tries to overrule them. once my pt has been made, i wun wan to defend further. it's no longer about winning a case, but more to making my pt clearly. a few msn frns, they r still looking and longing for a LTR. they r my age or even older. they hope the person they like will turn out to b their life partner. but is keeping a LTR so hard? or jus gay world? gay world, referring tot he desire for better sex, exciting sex, n perhaps diff partners. n i'm more confident of my abilities, image, n relationship skills. although i still need to buck up. and i have been living independently for almost 2 years. independency helped to develop my survivial skills, individual thinking, nad self-worthness thoughts. Or rather, soem frns made me realise that.
*can any1 tell mi, wat shld i do when, my mum keeps yelling at mi for not willing to help my bro for internet issues, when i am in NO position to help? i cant tell her off. i can oni take it n bear it..*
i've finally worked at a place for almost a year. realised tat the corporate world is really not tat simplistic. trust and communication is utmost important. when i first started on the job, oh well, my attitude was not tat gd, cos i felt cheated. i supposed to be tecnician, solving PC issues hands-on. but ended up in helpdesk, picking phones. den when i accepted my fate, i have probs communicating wif my team. diff expectations n work values. whne they tell mi somethigns, i got defensive. i thot they were trying to make mi look bad.
mths on, i was better able to click wif them. den a new colleague, KK, came in. he is my jnr, n i was glad to guide him along. later on, another new ger came in. i have lotsa bad impressions of the comp, but no 1 for mi to share it wif. so i decided to bfrn tat ger. things turned out GOOD. i clciked wif her, n played wif her. n even cameout to her, due to tis, we can tok abt guys. i dun have to keep my opinions abt gers anymore. i can oso bitch wif her abt office stuff.
but i nvr realise tat, the jnr staff who seem to be on nice terms wif snr, oso have some bad things to tok abt snr. when she suddenly revealed her feelings to mi abt snr, i was stunned. from then on, anything abt KK or snr, i directly shared wif her.
being an experienced staff, i am able to tell them wat to do form my experience. haha, tis is certainly where "mins 2-4 yrs exp" comes in. some things r not tat clear cut, n needs exp to solve them. n having been thru some "acceptance" stage at this place, i can better understand how KK felt. when he evolved from a staff attendignt o customers n interacting directly wif them, to a staff picking up ph calls.
haha.. my, it's really seeing a REAL diff aspect of life.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
not a very ez wk to pass. got confirmation for a new job, but until now haven sign anything yet. i cant wait tat long. i decided. i'll call up the comp. if they haven got the letter ready yet, i'll tell them, i got another offer. if they really prepared to take mi in, they'll wnana sign mi on. haha.. good idea? sighzz.. b4 i thot of it, i almost wnana jus b frank: ask if the contract is ready. if not yet, tell them i'll b looking for other jobs as well. n keep pushing them. but kauzz, tis makes mi sound so despo!!! so i think tat is better... anyway, had a bad experience wif indian bosses. the founder tis new comp is indian prof.
den, back to my life. haha, i cant blif it. but i had to. my gal pal, she jus started work n planning to buy lotsa gadgets n stuff. wow. sure sounded loaded. but, working of cos will get salary. n she dun have any debts (sch fee) to pay off. so when she got money, can spend n buy things. mi? still stuck wif my debts. got ppl ask y i dun take bfast (yes, i dun.. or avoid it). if u have the spare money, u cna of cos eat anything u desire, anytime u free. but i dun. i'm bad at financial planning. i oni know i cant spend too much every mth. i set aside a max of 300$ mthly for my expenditure - INCLUDING buying things to pamper myself. so, at times, even if the cost is oni < 5$, i need to consider it properly.
since skipping bfast dun kill mi, den i dun have to go for it. spend as lil $$ as can for lunch. den enjoy my dinner properly... haha.. strange... ppl say bfast is most impt n dinner shld b l;ightest. for mi, i skip former, n gorge myself for latter. when i really got extra money to spend, perhaps i'll really appreciate fine dining then HA!
umm.. my exorbitant costing hp service plans.. contract ending this 7th mar 06. PHEW!!!!! imagine mi paying a min of 70$ mthly siazz!!! got 2000 min free tok time 300 sms to use. but in fact, i dun use tat much tok time. i think tat';s more for associates' level ppl usage. for mi, starhub 25.20 n m1's plan r sufficient liao. wah... hahah... if things go well, hp bill lower, rental no need, n higher pay... hehe... sounds a good year to mi.. :) but..
how good is starhub's service?? any1 know?? any feedback??? the offer for new sub'ers is GOOD, n delicious. but do i have to suffer bad hp reception? pls, tell mi, pls!! haha.. anyone know?
den, back to my life. haha, i cant blif it. but i had to. my gal pal, she jus started work n planning to buy lotsa gadgets n stuff. wow. sure sounded loaded. but, working of cos will get salary. n she dun have any debts (sch fee) to pay off. so when she got money, can spend n buy things. mi? still stuck wif my debts. got ppl ask y i dun take bfast (yes, i dun.. or avoid it). if u have the spare money, u cna of cos eat anything u desire, anytime u free. but i dun. i'm bad at financial planning. i oni know i cant spend too much every mth. i set aside a max of 300$ mthly for my expenditure - INCLUDING buying things to pamper myself. so, at times, even if the cost is oni < 5$, i need to consider it properly.
since skipping bfast dun kill mi, den i dun have to go for it. spend as lil $$ as can for lunch. den enjoy my dinner properly... haha.. strange... ppl say bfast is most impt n dinner shld b l;ightest. for mi, i skip former, n gorge myself for latter. when i really got extra money to spend, perhaps i'll really appreciate fine dining then HA!
umm.. my exorbitant costing hp service plans.. contract ending this 7th mar 06. PHEW!!!!! imagine mi paying a min of 70$ mthly siazz!!! got 2000 min free tok time 300 sms to use. but in fact, i dun use tat much tok time. i think tat';s more for associates' level ppl usage. for mi, starhub 25.20 n m1's plan r sufficient liao. wah... hahah... if things go well, hp bill lower, rental no need, n higher pay... hehe... sounds a good year to mi.. :) but..
how good is starhub's service?? any1 know?? any feedback??? the offer for new sub'ers is GOOD, n delicious. but do i have to suffer bad hp reception? pls, tell mi, pls!! haha.. anyone know?
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
now i am at a loss. on monday, i called the enw job to confirm tat i wan it n they say will print the contract, n get mi n director sign. i m veli happy.
almost wnaan send out the termination letter. but i knwo it;s not right. shld wait for the new job to b confirmed. but think of it, i ned 45 days. not a 1mth. the new job supposed to start 1 mth time, but i delay it. dun wan explain more, but felt better to terminate first. got 45 day grace to hunt.
but tues liao, no reply from new job yet. i even emailed to the person, reminding him abt the signing of contract. i think sendign that remidner is enuff liao. dun wan to keep pushing. now, i starting to lose confidence in myself. whether i really can get the job anot. i prayed to god tat night of interview, hoping to get the job. my prayers were answered. but will it pull thru?
no pt to keep waiting. n getting the contract ready for signing shld not b so long. so, perhaps on friday, i'll call the new boss again, n see if the contract is ready. strnage, they not in hurry to confirm mi siazz. se wat they say. if the contract is not ready by fri, i will ask if the offer is still on. if things go haywire... i'll take full responsibility of my career still..
almost wnaan send out the termination letter. but i knwo it;s not right. shld wait for the new job to b confirmed. but think of it, i ned 45 days. not a 1mth. the new job supposed to start 1 mth time, but i delay it. dun wan explain more, but felt better to terminate first. got 45 day grace to hunt.
but tues liao, no reply from new job yet. i even emailed to the person, reminding him abt the signing of contract. i think sendign that remidner is enuff liao. dun wan to keep pushing. now, i starting to lose confidence in myself. whether i really can get the job anot. i prayed to god tat night of interview, hoping to get the job. my prayers were answered. but will it pull thru?
no pt to keep waiting. n getting the contract ready for signing shld not b so long. so, perhaps on friday, i'll call the new boss again, n see if the contract is ready. strnage, they not in hurry to confirm mi siazz. se wat they say. if the contract is not ready by fri, i will ask if the offer is still on. if things go haywire... i'll take full responsibility of my career still..
again.. i got lotsa ideas to write.. well, too much things to say, too lil time. esp when i dun have internet to use... sianzz..
1) i'm happy tat li xiao zhou managed to get into the finals!! wah, i rmb, he got 1 time almost kena kick out. tat was when the kiddy host lost least prof pt. den LXZ kena the least pop guy. at tat pt, my gal pal was wif mi, n when he managed to pull thru, i got so excited i hit her wif my bolster! ahha.. from then on, i decided to send 10 sms to support him, so tat less chance of him getting kicked. these days, he 90% of time sure the top scorer 1. but pop level need to improve. but can see tat more n more ppl support him.. from the least pop wks back, now he somewhere in the middle. but hor, the gers seem like soooo god at PR siazz.. everytime, get top 2 in pop votes.
2) i managed to see that, other than PC, i can still engross myself in watching DVD. haha, well, tat's how boliao ppl kill time.. watch anytime, anywhere.
3) over the weeks, esp after coming back from Oz n enjoying NY celeb wif a new found pal, close frn, buddy watever (dunno how to group him yet), i am learning more abt the importance of going out n catching up wif frns. learnt more abt wat's life n enjoying life means. y ppl often meet up n catch up wif frns.. but tat will happen oni when i really financially viable.
now my hp svc plan is 2k mins free tok time, 300 sms. but then, i seldom call out to ppl to chat. rather than calling, y not jus sms or meet up? i will change my hp service plan, intend to go for the more sms n adequate tok time plan.. den sms to stay in touch n gossip wif frns, den tok time, to pick incoming calls. use sms to plan stuff, calling is when it's urgent. anyway, i'm moving back home tis june, so ph tok shld b no prob
4) i've just sent out my termination letter. on monday, the new boss say will print out the proper contract n get director to sign n ask mi sign. they agree READILY to my proposed start date. like no urgency like dat. i'm thinking, if the delayed start date is not ok for them, they will voice out to mi right? wun keep mum, n confirm other ppl.. this may happen lah, but hope they wun do this. n wat's more, the person confirmed mi 1 day after my interview 1 leh. i sent out my term letter fast, as i need 45 days notice. not a 1-mth. the later i send, the later i can start. anyway, i jus hope things will turn out fine for mi. my first time to get a higher pay.
even if *CHOYZZZZ* nothign good turn out, i will still keep applying for new jobs. now i got a 45days grace period to secure a position for mi. if not, i think i'll ask if i can stay longer longer longer... to reach my full 1 yr of svc...
5) i'm trying to control my EQ properly so tat i wun commit the "at the spur of moment" thingy. i wonder if i'm doing well. a frn who my.. new pal intro to mi on NY, i complimented he's "desirable". "hot" is nice, but it's used too much, esp another person tat day commented i am hot. i called tis frn after CNY, den he was going for his gym routine. wnana tok more, but he no time. but he ok for a dinner.
so tis noon, i called him, rej my call. first time, he picked n hang up, 1 sec. 2nd time, he jus rejected. i called him jus now (a 6 hr lag) n he still rej. so i sms him..
"u bz the whole day?"
"yea sori"
"den u free for a dine?"
"not today. sori. another day perhaps?"
"i din mention today, did i?"
**no reply at all**
"gosh, nw u r too busy to even reply sms. u muz b really tied up, man. u free for dine?"
"hi, sorri for not answering u. was in a arg wif someone jus now. i cant confirm my time wif u for thurs. can i let u know again? thx!"
**no reply from mi**
"umm, hope e arg din piss u off 2 much."
haha, did i sound impartial, pissed, firm unhappy but calm, or? i hope i sounded firm, direct, calm, but putting the pt across tat, "hey, i asking u out for dine. dun thnk 2 much, dun assume. rej my call 3 times? r u avoiding mi, or really tat busy? if u really think tt, jus 'cos u r desirable, i will have some ulterior motives for dining wif u, get a good view of ur life."
next day, will tok abt wat i learnt from my current job. yes i still managed to learn things from here. haha, tat's y i getting sianzz here. i cna oni say, they dun have any professionalism.
*time to KO...*
1) i'm happy tat li xiao zhou managed to get into the finals!! wah, i rmb, he got 1 time almost kena kick out. tat was when the kiddy host lost least prof pt. den LXZ kena the least pop guy. at tat pt, my gal pal was wif mi, n when he managed to pull thru, i got so excited i hit her wif my bolster! ahha.. from then on, i decided to send 10 sms to support him, so tat less chance of him getting kicked. these days, he 90% of time sure the top scorer 1. but pop level need to improve. but can see tat more n more ppl support him.. from the least pop wks back, now he somewhere in the middle. but hor, the gers seem like soooo god at PR siazz.. everytime, get top 2 in pop votes.
2) i managed to see that, other than PC, i can still engross myself in watching DVD. haha, well, tat's how boliao ppl kill time.. watch anytime, anywhere.
3) over the weeks, esp after coming back from Oz n enjoying NY celeb wif a new found pal, close frn, buddy watever (dunno how to group him yet), i am learning more abt the importance of going out n catching up wif frns. learnt more abt wat's life n enjoying life means. y ppl often meet up n catch up wif frns.. but tat will happen oni when i really financially viable.
now my hp svc plan is 2k mins free tok time, 300 sms. but then, i seldom call out to ppl to chat. rather than calling, y not jus sms or meet up? i will change my hp service plan, intend to go for the more sms n adequate tok time plan.. den sms to stay in touch n gossip wif frns, den tok time, to pick incoming calls. use sms to plan stuff, calling is when it's urgent. anyway, i'm moving back home tis june, so ph tok shld b no prob
4) i've just sent out my termination letter. on monday, the new boss say will print out the proper contract n get director to sign n ask mi sign. they agree READILY to my proposed start date. like no urgency like dat. i'm thinking, if the delayed start date is not ok for them, they will voice out to mi right? wun keep mum, n confirm other ppl.. this may happen lah, but hope they wun do this. n wat's more, the person confirmed mi 1 day after my interview 1 leh. i sent out my term letter fast, as i need 45 days notice. not a 1-mth. the later i send, the later i can start. anyway, i jus hope things will turn out fine for mi. my first time to get a higher pay.
even if *CHOYZZZZ* nothign good turn out, i will still keep applying for new jobs. now i got a 45days grace period to secure a position for mi. if not, i think i'll ask if i can stay longer longer longer... to reach my full 1 yr of svc...
5) i'm trying to control my EQ properly so tat i wun commit the "at the spur of moment" thingy. i wonder if i'm doing well. a frn who my.. new pal intro to mi on NY, i complimented he's "desirable". "hot" is nice, but it's used too much, esp another person tat day commented i am hot. i called tis frn after CNY, den he was going for his gym routine. wnana tok more, but he no time. but he ok for a dinner.
so tis noon, i called him, rej my call. first time, he picked n hang up, 1 sec. 2nd time, he jus rejected. i called him jus now (a 6 hr lag) n he still rej. so i sms him..
"u bz the whole day?"
"yea sori"
"den u free for a dine?"
"not today. sori. another day perhaps?"
"i din mention today, did i?"
**no reply at all**
"gosh, nw u r too busy to even reply sms. u muz b really tied up, man. u free for dine
"hi, sorri for not answering u. was in a arg wif someone jus now. i cant confirm my time wif u for thurs. can i let u know again? thx!"
**no reply from mi**
"umm, hope e arg din piss u off 2 much."
haha, did i sound impartial, pissed, firm unhappy but calm, or? i hope i sounded firm, direct, calm, but putting the pt across tat, "hey, i asking u out for dine. dun thnk 2 much, dun assume. rej my call 3 times? r u avoiding mi, or really tat busy? if u really think tt, jus 'cos u r desirable, i will have some ulterior motives for dining wif u, get a good view of ur life."
next day, will tok abt wat i learnt from my current job. yes i still managed to learn things from here. haha, tat's y i getting sianzz here. i cna oni say, they dun have any professionalism.
*time to KO...*
Monday, February 06, 2006
today despo housewives again back in action!!
come to think of it, the first work day of the CNY, i got an interview for my java. they told mi by next wk, i can knw results. den on 2nd day, i was confirmed. they even sent email, draft copy of contract, n called mi to tell mi. so fast rite? i am of course happy n excited abt it. den 3rd day, or rather tat same 2nd day, another agency called mi, asking mi interview wif singtel. i was really stunned. 2 interviews together. am i really so lucky in CNY?? the first job is perm job. 2nd is contract job, which required mi nto to discuss abt salary at all.
cos my current contract need mi to give a whopping 45days notice, if not pay a large sum of $$, my family decided tat i shld try to delay start date wif new place. haha.. funny. on saturday, my bro was celeb his bday in a big way (book chalet, even tho he is 29 tis yr liao.. but well, he's getting married tis yr) n i was out wif my frn chris whole day. so din go at all. dinner i settled myself.
den sunday, even the wkly bfast/lunch is gone, cos whole family in chalet. but frankly, i dun see the need for mi to go in the first place. cos he will be celeb wif his frns mah. i go there, duno do wat. other than bio'ing ppl.
den, haha, my uncle (whose son is CUTE) called mi, asking if i wanna go wif them to chalet. haha, well, i duno wat to eat for bfast, lunch n wnana save up oso. was jus wondering hwo to settle my meals.. ask frns out?? den hor, his invitation came at such hr tat i so LUCKY siazz!!! n hor, when i saw his sms, i even thot the time is out for mi liao.. but it's jus on time =D. so i took his car to the chalet n relaxed myself there.. cool.. the SAF chalet.. fantastic!
oh ya, had lunch at swenson. n i admit i behave intimately wif my cousin boy boy. he invited mi to sit wif him, n i shared my food wif him.. haha, i simply felt i am loving towards him.. in this way,my lunch n bfast settled!
i have to call new company monday moprning to confirm my start date. at night, my right eye twitched. den the next morning, i called, wnana see if they ok wif mi start in late mar. wah, they din ask reason, n jus agreed!! i was stunned!!! they din even ask y.. but hor, sigh, to protect myself, i still cant resign yet. cos not yet sign paper.
den tis evening, my other interview, slated for tues 10am, was postponed, as the ger was unwell. wah, 2 things crop up...
shld i stil send my letter? cos i need 45 days to leave properly...
come to think of it, the first work day of the CNY, i got an interview for my java. they told mi by next wk, i can knw results. den on 2nd day, i was confirmed. they even sent email, draft copy of contract, n called mi to tell mi. so fast rite? i am of course happy n excited abt it. den 3rd day, or rather tat same 2nd day, another agency called mi, asking mi interview wif singtel. i was really stunned. 2 interviews together. am i really so lucky in CNY?? the first job is perm job. 2nd is contract job, which required mi nto to discuss abt salary at all.
cos my current contract need mi to give a whopping 45days notice, if not pay a large sum of $$, my family decided tat i shld try to delay start date wif new place. haha.. funny. on saturday, my bro was celeb his bday in a big way (book chalet, even tho he is 29 tis yr liao.. but well, he's getting married tis yr) n i was out wif my frn chris whole day. so din go at all. dinner i settled myself.
den sunday, even the wkly bfast/lunch is gone, cos whole family in chalet. but frankly, i dun see the need for mi to go in the first place. cos he will be celeb wif his frns mah. i go there, duno do wat. other than bio'ing ppl.
den, haha, my uncle (whose son is CUTE) called mi, asking if i wanna go wif them to chalet. haha, well, i duno wat to eat for bfast, lunch n wnana save up oso. was jus wondering hwo to settle my meals.. ask frns out?? den hor, his invitation came at such hr tat i so LUCKY siazz!!! n hor, when i saw his sms, i even thot the time is out for mi liao.. but it's jus on time =D. so i took his car to the chalet n relaxed myself there.. cool.. the SAF chalet.. fantastic!
oh ya, had lunch at swenson. n i admit i behave intimately wif my cousin boy boy. he invited mi to sit wif him, n i shared my food wif him.. haha, i simply felt i am loving towards him.. in this way,my lunch n bfast settled!
i have to call new company monday moprning to confirm my start date. at night, my right eye twitched. den the next morning, i called, wnana see if they ok wif mi start in late mar. wah, they din ask reason, n jus agreed!! i was stunned!!! they din even ask y.. but hor, sigh, to protect myself, i still cant resign yet. cos not yet sign paper.
den tis evening, my other interview, slated for tues 10am, was postponed, as the ger was unwell. wah, 2 things crop up...
shld i stil send my letter? cos i need 45 days to leave properly...
Sunday, February 05, 2006
fnally.. my PC is up and running fine. no need to spend extra on HD mainbod etc. it's not mi to be pessimistic...
on the day my pc is up, i felt excited at the thot of it. but when it did happen, i din jump at all.. i was kinda hungry to respond in a excited way.
i survived 2 weeks without being online. Or specifically, without my comptuer at all. No Tv, no computer, no messing around wif system files. ahah, now, too much things tat r in my mind, forming bits and pieces of news. after my failure at J2SE, i began reading up on PR n workplace reln books. i learnt from them. den i started to feel the goodness of reading books. since den, i been reading a lot...
over CNY, din get to watch my NY countdown vids, but finished watching the korean drama "Full Hose". even at my aunt;s plc, they watching Rain's HK concert, he was flaunting his bod oso. n my aunt "hinted": y now i suddenly so into Rain? since i felt tat those korean dvds jus boliao... haha, i jus said "the show is funny n hilarious mah" hahah...
n serious, he si really showing off his body in the concert n drama. imagine in the first 4 eps of the show, he jus strip off at every possible scene. he was even wearing shorts at times, revealing his muscled thighs. den the concert, he knows he's cool for his body, not voice. so very often, he will strip off his clothes bit by bit n piece by piece.
he will even rip open his white shirt n kneel down, while water is raining on him... haha...
on the day my pc is up, i felt excited at the thot of it. but when it did happen, i din jump at all.. i was kinda hungry to respond in a excited way.
i survived 2 weeks without being online. Or specifically, without my comptuer at all. No Tv, no computer, no messing around wif system files. ahah, now, too much things tat r in my mind, forming bits and pieces of news. after my failure at J2SE, i began reading up on PR n workplace reln books. i learnt from them. den i started to feel the goodness of reading books. since den, i been reading a lot...
over CNY, din get to watch my NY countdown vids, but finished watching the korean drama "Full Hose". even at my aunt;s plc, they watching Rain's HK concert, he was flaunting his bod oso. n my aunt "hinted": y now i suddenly so into Rain? since i felt tat those korean dvds jus boliao... haha, i jus said "the show is funny n hilarious mah" hahah...
n serious, he si really showing off his body in the concert n drama. imagine in the first 4 eps of the show, he jus strip off at every possible scene. he was even wearing shorts at times, revealing his muscled thighs. den the concert, he knows he's cool for his body, not voice. so very often, he will strip off his clothes bit by bit n piece by piece.
he will even rip open his white shirt n kneel down, while water is raining on him... haha...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
been a long time since i last blogged... all 'cos my pc is down.. really down.. a lot of things have been happening.. good.. n bad? well, i oni rmb the good things though... wanna forget the bad 1s.. yes, i got internet in office, but i dun use it when i'm not working OT (unlike now). i dun blog during office hours, but after.
umm, well, toked to a poly frn.. jus frn lah, but we chatted for 1.5 hrs siazz.. but, come to think of it, we din meet for a yr, thus lotsa things to say. n i'm happy tat, she comented i've become more confident of myself. yes, i agree. i'm more confident of wat i am, my purpose in being alive and kicking. i exude confidence in my dressing (image), opinions (unless ppl intentionally put mi down, n i dun wish to tok back), relationships, n self worth. my 25th yr of living has been a self-realisation yr.
realising tat frnship last longer than LTR,
even if we like someone, it does not mean we have to have physical contact with him, seeing him happy is enuff liao,
n if u take someone as a frn, u'll want the better for him. u wun mind helping him out watever n however u can.
funny. i'm addicted to a new song now. yes, i was addicted to TATU's All About Us, n stuff. now, i can say, if any GUY is to sing "O-Zone"'s "Dragostea Din Tei", i'll most likely melt. ya, this song came out some time back, abt 6 mths. i heard the song on TV, but tat was when it sounded like disco wif some cutie cartoons. i wasn't turned on by tat.
when the singaporean "guo mei mei" sang it, oh-my-gosh is my response.
den, somehow, i heard on radio or some tv channels, the song starting at "nu ma nu ma..", followed by
"Miya-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha"
i immediately fell for it. it's cute, funky, simple, relaxing, w/o stress.. jus a fast tempo song, giving u no chance to think too much abt wat it's trying to do. ah, ya, its non-english lyrics helped lotsa. in the english lyrics, its meanings are all revealed. but i still prefer the non-eng 1. feeling the music wif its "non-sensical" lyrics made mi feel someone is entertaning mi to appease mi or to accompany mi when i'm down. saying "relax, calm down, everything will be over soon. i'll b here for u".
haha, am i getting 2 engrossed? well, i'm loving it n ... falling for it.. whichever shld come first logically.
oh ya, after reading up on the 2 bks from NLB, i starting to enjoy reading books. to kill time n to improve my general knowledge. not inot those fictious bks. more to general knowledge... psychology, interpreting ppl's behaviour n finding out the best possible response.
is this a lot to write? nothing in mind to bitch abt. letting things take its place slowly n naturally, writing down wat's happening to mi internally...
umm, well, toked to a poly frn.. jus frn lah, but we chatted for 1.5 hrs siazz.. but, come to think of it, we din meet for a yr, thus lotsa things to say. n i'm happy tat, she comented i've become more confident of myself. yes, i agree. i'm more confident of wat i am, my purpose in being alive and kicking. i exude confidence in my dressing (image), opinions (unless ppl intentionally put mi down, n i dun wish to tok back), relationships, n self worth. my 25th yr of living has been a self-realisation yr.
realising tat frnship last longer than LTR,
even if we like someone, it does not mean we have to have physical contact with him, seeing him happy is enuff liao,
n if u take someone as a frn, u'll want the better for him. u wun mind helping him out watever n however u can.
funny. i'm addicted to a new song now. yes, i was addicted to TATU's All About Us, n stuff. now, i can say, if any GUY is to sing "O-Zone"'s "Dragostea Din Tei", i'll most likely melt. ya, this song came out some time back, abt 6 mths. i heard the song on TV, but tat was when it sounded like disco wif some cutie cartoons. i wasn't turned on by tat.
when the singaporean "guo mei mei" sang it, oh-my-gosh is my response.
den, somehow, i heard on radio or some tv channels, the song starting at "nu ma nu ma..", followed by
"Miya-hee
Miya-hoo
Miya-ho
Miya-haha"
i immediately fell for it. it's cute, funky, simple, relaxing, w/o stress.. jus a fast tempo song, giving u no chance to think too much abt wat it's trying to do. ah, ya, its non-english lyrics helped lotsa. in the english lyrics, its meanings are all revealed. but i still prefer the non-eng 1. feeling the music wif its "non-sensical" lyrics made mi feel someone is entertaning mi to appease mi or to accompany mi when i'm down. saying "relax, calm down, everything will be over soon. i'll b here for u".
haha, am i getting 2 engrossed? well, i'm loving it n ... falling for it.. whichever shld come first logically.
oh ya, after reading up on the 2 bks from NLB, i starting to enjoy reading books. to kill time n to improve my general knowledge. not inot those fictious bks. more to general knowledge... psychology, interpreting ppl's behaviour n finding out the best possible response.
is this a lot to write? nothing in mind to bitch abt. letting things take its place slowly n naturally, writing down wat's happening to mi internally...
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