another taiwanese hunk, but not popular at all. perhaps oni known in taiwan. somehow, he seems famous for flaunting his body at the camera. i saw his.. kena sabo 1 time in a taiwanese variety, where it tricks celebrities or artistes into awkward situations and see how they remedy it. den tis person, i din take note at all. all i know it's in a gym place. the guy finished his session, taking bath, den eralise his clothes r missing. he came out in towels but cannot find.. den he call ppl come help him. everythign is oredi planned liao. n he was caught in national tv as half nude. i wun say he got fantastic fig, but he got the man charisma.. oh ya, in this variety in the pic, at the start, all the guests trying to fight for attention, den he started to unbutton his shirt right in front of the audience. not jus unbutton anyhow, but really face the audience to do it siazz.. n exclaim "tis is den called 'stealing' the show"

wow... cool man.. displaying his martial arts skills..

was channel surfign.. den at this suria channel, saw this "speech" scene, and ehhee, the guy in focus look so cute siazz... lol, i think his hands r behind him.. ready for some tying up fun?? =D

taiwanese hunk.. liu geng hong.. he got a fantastic body!!! but as a re-lived singer, his comp dun allow him to bare any skin.. or even appear sexy.. thus the black attire all the way.. good method.. but argh... where is our eye candy??

a cutie from a hk OLD movie.. supposed to b a horror show lah.. but.. the horror cant b felt.. anyway, caught a few different emotional expressions of the actor lol

a pic taken from "u think u can dance" contest. some guys dress up in this manner. r they trying to catch more eyes, or it's really needed, or it's simply too warm to dance wif a properly worn shirt?

oh.. my adam..

umm... i find him quite cute wif the cap n jacket.. a pertty small face for his body maybe?

i jus realise that.. some ppl (not my pals though) tend to tell mi their ideas and their way of handling matters... 'cos they feel i'm not handling in the rite way, or they jus wanna implant the way in mi? i know they r concerned abt mi.. but y do they insist in mi accepting their way?

anyway, it's.. sat morn. n gosh, i jus had a wondrous dream!!!! it happened a few hrs back liao.. so not realyl a deep imperssion of wat went on..

the dream went like tis: i was walking on the roadside, den a group of youngsters were cycling along. i tok to 1 of the guys. den we hugged each other. i felt soemthign for him. n somehow, i pressed my ptes against his.. thigh or lower part of body n lifted it up. DEN, his arm actually left my shoulder (or somewhere), went past my thigh, n up to my groin, felt it, n exclaimed something to his frns. den another frn of his came up, and we started kissing.. hahaha.. oh well...

n yes!! ytday, the progrez pkge is in liao!! n.. my pay chq gonna clear soon.. phew.. long time nvr see so much $$ in my acct siazz!!

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gosh.. i know i sound pervert here... my landlord reared a kitten in living room. jus now, i let it into my room. den.. it jumped ono my lap. i den laid down, n as it moves across my body.. i felt so.. kinky LOL...

=============

in fridae, i seem to be getting attracted to thais... whcih normally i'm not.. my usual impression of them is that they are quite dark, sissy, and mercenary.. haha.. maybe my circle of thai ppl isn't that big..

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" Duh...didnt i tell you older man are good looking and better than young punks?
management assignments? u need management guru to help?"

older guys.. not better looking lah.. they have a sense of maturity surrounding them lah.. young punks r CUTE@! n quite a challenge to bitch wif them.. n sad, i had some thing to bitch wif u,, but no chance when u came to singapore.
yes, i need some help wif my proj!!! where is ur promise?? lol.. i gonna start soon..

nowadays, i use gmail / yahoo website to chk email. n not used to replying blog commnts from there.. only when i got timet o clear the msg, n download the mails to my computer, den i.. feel like replying th coments.. so, a bit slow lah

" Please don't change the mouse cursor: "

umm.. perhaps... but if the cursor does not affect the familiarity of the pointer n finger, i may still change it.. to signify it's my territory lol

i'm beginning to realise the meaning of socialising n catching up wif frns.. ahah, i seem to be experiencing life and its meaning at my own dear expense.. so that i can live thru each stage of life...

on fri, night met up wif my gal pal. den saturday, met wif antoher frn (who is a salesman), den later went for classes. wah.,., the yandao beng went to sit wif a ger.. to avoid my stares, or merely to have a buddy for studies? dunno.. den... saturyda n sunday... all day been inside irc.. finding ppl to enjoy the nite wif.. ye, i'm bored.

i decided to.. make some time for my frns.. cos i'm really cooped up at home, n not enjoying the wkend, or personal time.. now arranged to mit a frn on wed n thurs.. n.. i really can't... for the sake of saving money.. keep going home to eat.. cos.. by not eating outside wif frns.. i losing time n chance to catch up wif them..

anyway.. on the bus to work.. saw the cutie on the bus again. haha, did he see mi when he boarded?? cos when he alighted, he saw mi, n gave a hasty smile.. almost.. stunned teo, but smile as courtesy lol.. cute siazz.. den they eating bfast in pantry.. i went up to greet them. hahaha... i find myself so frnly siazz!!! lol.. odd. cos, the guy frn of his, usually wear specs. i felt he was jus another avg guy ont he streets. din note him. den these days, he been wearing contacts n today, when i tok to him, he gave a matured n sensible response. quite a suave behaviour.. and the cutie is a boyish n shy response lol..

===========

am i rite to say that, it's better to work for ur interest than to work for the money? money is impt, but u have to have the interest to enjoy ur work.. if it's mere WORK for u, u soon will get tired of it.. i say tis, cos a fat colleague, is contemplating leaving.. cos, the company he looking at.. is offering 2.8. sigh.. deg holder.. if u r working for teh money, not interest, it's hard to find motivation when things cock up..

adam hosting...

adam in pink!

sianzz.. my bro suposed to marry in jun, den i can move back home liao, cos he will move out. den his wief's bro kena motorcycle accident n left the world. so now the marriage thing is left hanging.. this is 1 thing.

den.. the asgt marks r out... sianzz.. ahah.. no confidence in getting good marks.. cos i oni can maange 50%. den.. a bad... or jus news came in.. i heard my supervisor toking..

"boss, for our project, we need to get additional headcount.. the person who is here for the interview tmr, if he's in, i'll need him to work on the proj as well"
and
"our proj is currently lagging by 1.5 days..." boss replyed it's normal..

toking abt job security.. i'm always trying to b optimistic.. cos pessimism will oni make my life miserable. thinking abt these happenings, i wonder if my life is abt to change for the worse... cannot move back, n job not secured..

for my job, i can oni say, i hold a dip of 6yo, n got SCJP cert. some techniques of planning n anticipating i forgot liao. n i haven fully grasp my style of programming yet.. eg, if soemthign need to be out, wat info do i need to fully develop it.. so tat i can write up to the expected std.. i'll still jus do wat i can.. anyway, the drag on the proj is not my fault. it's the user's side always dragging the date..

oh ya, my msn says" regaining my self confidence".. it refers to how i normally interact wif ppl.. b4 my asgt, i may b totally kaypoh n wnana know things, try to really move abt n mix around. but last wk, i bee.. jus a loner style of living.. dun try to mix wif the crowd. n i realise y i have a bad start wif PR at my job.

when i started work, the person next to mi, pobabaly not receptive to having someone new sittign beside him. his replies to my prompts/qnchatlines, r all smiles, giggles or 1 liner, endign the chat. while another older-than-mi-by-1-yr guy. he is much more receptive to chatting n welcoming nwe ppl.. if i had sat wif him, probably, will enjoy better PR..

it's a saturday, teh day when i usually stay home.. both to save money, n to catch up on my studies.. but have i stayed too focussed on my studies? as in, i'm bent on studying n doing good in my asgt.. but m i too focussed on it? until, i lack so much social life n.. chilling out? n saving of money.. i know i can't spend too much.. so i usually force .. or make myself stay at home.. haha.. until i become my old self again.. "hoemly" guy, sensitive.. den today, after class, i went to shop around myself.. wah.. i really suaku siazz!! BIG TIEM SOME MORE!!

somehow, i really cant.. for the mere sake of asgt, coop myself up at home.. n dun care abt wat's ahppening outside.. i will grow very sick in the mind, n be very quiet.. i find tat my time mgmt really need improvement.. cos all abt doing asgt is to steer clear from all outing, n go for asgt. but it left mi to be ahermit. i dunno if this is an excuse for mi to be alone anot.. but i been missing out a lot.. n wanan catch up wif frns.. but got constraint here n there, making my life misrables.. i somehow need to juggle properly between asgt, outing, n work..

oh well.. can say i've been brought into proper living by my gal pal... the strange thing is, sometimes her words can carry proper reasons tat i feel slightly pressured by her when she ask mi for my opinions.. in terms fo work, i know my stand n POV. but when it comes to discussion on singing.. hahaha.. i can oni go by my feeling.. n soemtime she jus like to refute lol..

sigh.. u know wat? all along i was working in the helpdesk area.. so toking over ph wif proper comm skill is a must. so kinda like i get to tok quite a lot, instilling confidence for my comm skills. n when it comes to singing, i'm ok. but then, now in my new job.. gosh... 1 day i duno if i will manage to say 20 lines siazz.. cos as prograsmmer, all u do is think, think think. think until u dun have much chance to tok.. unless it's jus mere conversations... n then, i think due to this, when it comes to singing, i fared BADLY!

i actually.. din wan go ktv.. jus a suggestion niazz, but end up still went for it.. but singing ktv, made mi realsie abt the toking part... now, i cant reach certain notes, as somehow, i forgot the notes.. n my mouth is not fast enuff to spout out the words.. gohs.. ahaha, how shld i balance myself???

i suspect my sch proj is affecting mi... causing mi to lose confidence in myself... haizz... getting tired..

n i have thot of, again, changing company today.. well, due to non-enjoyable lunches.. but.. kauzz.. everythign is alright.. the workload, wat i learn.. is alright.. less the tranport fees lah.. n how isolated we are from public transport. lunch is cheap as usual. but.. i wonder if.. enjoyable lunch is part of criteria for an enjoyable work env.. 1 fact to consider is, the age of my dip.. n the fact that i'm new to practical knowledge.. n.. i'm REALLY really alright wif the workload.. jus tat.. i can't click wif the ppl here.. i can b a loner during lunch.. no prob, since i cant click well wif some colleagues..

ok.. tok abt mi now.. wah liao.. last nite, the whole office at 610pm, i all alone in office liao. den decided to KO earlier oso.. sigh, din enjoy bus trip, den teh mrt came jus as i went up escalator, so i boarded it. when i alighted, the positioning n location of the point so not like the past times.. felt so odd.. n my timing oso funny.. bit too early to dinner, but if go back home, will b 2 hot, go family, dunno if dinner is ready.. i decided go family. but... alas, dinner not ready. after dine, tried to rush home.. to catch a guy smoking.. den oso no luck. next morning, not on time to get TODAY.. n the bus to work not crowded like usual.. plus the cutie not there..

enuff.. today, after work, chill out wif frns.. umm.. n i somehow find tat, since my asgt stress, i kinda gettign anti-social.. n short tempered if care is not taken. cos i dun like to mix wif crowd liao.. but.. is the stage of coming out.. really so std?? eg.. flirt wif ppl, have flings, chiong pubs, getting picked up.. in the chill out, met up a frn.. who.. although he had turned gay 1 yr back, i jus know oni today. now, he's really getting much more flamboyant, n conclusive, impatient, n maybe impulsive liao.. he tok abt his clubbing exp, tok abt getting bfs n having sex.. sounds so much like.. or perhaps exactly like.. mi n oz pal 3-5 yrs back, when we started enjoy gay life.. does this cycle happen to ppl who jus came out.. n wanna have a glimpse of gay lifestyle? cos in clubibn n sauna, it's easiest to look at good bodies... n get to know ppl.. but oso an easy way to lose urself..

i perhaps m stressed out.. so when i hear his tales, i merely thot "oh well, another punk telling his coming out exp..."

umm.. not been posting for some time.. i think.. did any1 miss my blog?

anyway... a qn:
1) How does it feel like, when your colleague ask you out for lunch with 2 other colleagues, but end up, for the 1 hr lunch, u tok no more than 2 lines? cos they bz toking to 1 another... at most you can only smile or giggle at their responses...

2) Holding a diploma of 6 yrs old, and having a java cert of .. 8 mths. den u got a job working in a company having < 10 ppl inside? den.. from wat u know, 90%, if not 100%, got deg, while u the oni person holding an OLD diploma. oni thing tat got u in, was the cert?

oh well.. not a very good start for the whole 24 hr..

for 1) i've decided, i'll somehow, join the trio for lunch, oni when i think i shld.. otherwise, i'll stick to myself oni. cos, practically, i dun tok at all.. their topic revolve around themselves, and i'm kinda shut off from them during their chats.. well, i know they r used to trio-some, so.. y shld i try to break into it? perhaps it's partly due to 2)..

sianzzz.. know wat? jus when i thot i finished my asgt liao, i realise the marker is looking for antoher way of answering the qns.. OMG! now have to find some time to re-do those qns..

n.. speaking abt twitching again (yes, i bene on this topic freq'ly), sunday mornign has been bad... woah.. our all-time fav braised duck mee stall first tiem give us less meat, more bones. den the fish balls no more, n the roti prata guy.. i told him "having here" n he still "packed it". later i told him we havign here, he den.. buay song but still have to bring over..

wah liao.. sunday damn hectic siazz.. rushing my proj, but oso need to help a frn setup laptop, den wanna watch TV, n meet antoher frn for disucssion on policyl..

anyway, the fun day is.. today i gues.. yes it's today. ie.. monday. cos.. haha... the cutie on bus as well. this tiem, really. is... a chance siazz.. or rather, i decided to make it inot a chance.. my hair is styled up, den he board the bus. immediately, i felt tat i want to know him today.. i immediatley told myself how to react later.. shld we b in the asme lift again. saying myself to smile, n relax.. dun get tensed up. b cool... hahah..

den jus nice.. when enter the lift, it's not noisy, n mi, cutie, n his frn all at the back of teh door. but cutie at far end. haha... after the door closed, i initiated chat..

mi "u guys work on the 9th flr oso?" *leans up to see cutie*
his frn hesitantly "ya.."
mi "oh.. everytime, i come to work, always see u guys in the lift.. for 1 mth liao. i'm kevin, u r?"
his frn "ZB" *not keen to jot down oso :P
CUTIE "Gordon"
mi "how long u guys been here oredi?"
his frn "3-4 mths.." *cutie went to press lift button*
CUTIE "abt 4 mths liao.."
mi "oh.. it's 1 mth for mi.. this is my 4th wk.."
they "we on IA"
mi "oh.. mi not".. n we parted as we exited from lift..

den.. it's all abt work liao.. bz like hell.. even skipped lunch.. it's tiring n exasperating.. but i like it.. cos i enjoy doing it.. it's my product :)

ytday, i know i surely got thigns to do.. at work lah.. was expecting myself (my own expectations) to fnish the work by day end.. thinking i;ve done the required research.. but haha things turned out tat more research need to be done siazz.. in the end, half day spent on understanding the logic, n researching on wat can be used.. using Eclipse program to do java. but.. eclipse is a new program for mi, n the "tutorial" not helpful in my sense.. but i know, wif my luck, knowledge, enthusiasm in java, i can finish it for sure haha..

now monday evening is the due date. i wonder.. if thigns r not up to stds, will i get some demerit point?? wel, i will jus try my best. i will jus accept any fault they point at mi.. n improve.. instead of defending myself.. cos it's the time for mi to learn, not time for mi to defend..

alright, now is the wkend liao.. esp got gd fri to rest (or rather, to kill time, cos my work proj they thot fri is workday, den include in time planning. but end up it';s a holiday. but the date still monday). last wk, i oso wanna rest. my way was to chll out n do some exercise to relax.. in the end, somehow i did not manage to release my stress tat well.. last sat, swam, went office, went classes, met up frn for diner, n a frn for vcd-marathon. sunday, went bfast, and went aunt there to relax. but in my mind, i still have something bothering mi.. a load on my shoulder.

tis wk, i gonna stay home, read bk, n watch video to clear up pc space.. haha, jus now saw a fridae profile stating "unconditional love to give..." this phrase made my mind flood wif thots. the person is 36yo. does it mean that, love is so great n compulsive n compulsory, tat every1 muz get it?

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jus saying tis in general: even if u r in sales line, there is no use saying "u r 2 busy wif ur apptmt, n no time to mit wif frns.." cos.. being a sales person, time plannign is impt for u. if u really keen in meeting frns up for a meal, u will surely find the tiem to do it. it's all about whether u really want to make the effort to put aside soem tiem for it..

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wat the hell.. doing an analysis chart for a sch proj.. i was searching the internet for a program that can draw out a comparison chart for equation.. den frustrated cos i cant find. went for haircut (the stylist quite cute in his behaviour maybe cos' he jus got xferred here n it his first day ehre haha), read my bk, n found a way to create the graph.. i was mad n excited. den when i got home, the graph thing cannto be found!?!?

rmb ytyda, i was toking abt my sad mood.. end up i lay down on bed at 1145pm, n i din even bathe yet.. miraculously, my hair actually looked beter like tis lol..

anyway, in the morning, i woke in wee hrs again.. feeling trbuled over my job.. wondering if i shld look for other job, or hang on to tis.. i was bored in tis job.. given lil n minor tasks to perform everyday.. so slow tat i even dozed off.. i was really contemplating abt leaving my job.. cos i cant click wif my colleagues,, felt ostracized.

but thinking properly, i got a 5-yr old dip, n taking deg studies now.. who will wan employ siazz.. i oso din feel like waking up early.. n even thinking of.. reverting my old style: keng mc.. n rest at home.. but well, tis fri is holiday liao.. so i'l jus hang on till fri. btu i simply cant force myself to get up to take my usual train timing. so.. i took delayed train. n SURPRISINGLY, the cute guy.. today oso taking the same bus wif mi to work!!! so coincident!! n i can feel tat, he really felt odd abt mi lol..

den at work, i can say today is my more enjoyable day.. cos,, after wks of slacking, bss suddenly say he wan the proj to be running by monday. so now, need tor ush liao.. i dun mind it though.. at least, will b eoccupied.. lol.. tis tiem, i really felt useful hahah.. den during lunch, well, i know liao.. so i jus told my office, i going lunch.. den my supervisor joined mi.. i dunno whether it's joining cos he wanna tok to mi, or he dun wan make things look so bad.. but.. i'm ok 1 lah..

in fact, in morning i stil lfelt bad n demoralised. no motivation.. toked wif a frn abt it. we somehow concluded that, i shld stay on.. since i'm ok wit the work.. n heck care the politics n office relns.. jus do my work n hand in proj. well, i thot it thru oso.. if they dun wan mi join them, wat for insist? i wil jus eat alone loh.. nothign wrong wif it.. n so good.. or bad? at the same time, i given more work to do.. i oso happy..

den after work, i went to discuss studies asgt wif my understudy back in ns. but somehow, i dunno y.. our thots n ideas dun click.. perhaps he is rushignt o finish his asgt, while i still jovious n joking? whiloe discussing n exchanging ideas, i feeel as though, we r more of proving ourselves as the righter guy, the clever person, n the smarter guy.

had a premonition that something good will happen in morning. unexpectedly, on the bus to work, the bus was not crowded, n i sat behind cute guy. n in e lift, i stood besde him as well..

den.. at work, it's become obvious (at least for today), tat the 2 colleagues.. cant click well wif mi, n prefer to lunch by themselves. haha, i dun blame them.. 1 guy commented i always ask funny qns.. strange.. those place, which the turn over rate is high, the ppl will b ready to receive new staff. those place, which turn over rate jus ok 1.. or low, the ppl quite reserved when welcoming new guys.. n den, although now i'm getting more op[en-minded n frnlier, but the ppl may feel i'm a bit.. fakely outgoing? dunno.. well, i know where i stand .. i'm true... always.. n they dun ask mi out for lunch, i'm ok.. i dun think it's a pre-requisite to b on frnly terms wif 2 colleagues jus to stay in tis job..

my gal pal is quitting her job.. n finding greener pastures.. cos she can't find her direction in her current job.. wat abt mi? a holder of a diploma which is 5.. or rather 6 yrs old, who wnana make it big in programming. i oso wanna do good. but my dip is too old to prove anything.. jus my cert alone.. i'm not sure.. n it's oso really tiring to keep going for interviews, coping wif studies, n keeping ur job. i saying these, cos i seldom hear of ppl, quitting of their own accord.

n now.. i felt i'm burnt out, stressed, too pressurised to perform well in my job? my guesses. felt like having someone to hug, a shoulder to cry on.. i dunno y i wanna cry.. jus felt like it.. the wkend, i dinr ealyl rest much.. although i thot i did..

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den last night, met another frn suddenly. umm.. tis frn is someone i like lah.. i thot it's a meetup n chat session.. but den.. he does not seem to show iterest in toking.. but more to biz planning.. i felt he took mi more like his client den a frn.. i voiced tis out to him. but he claimed that, he treated mi as hsi frn.. if not, he wun bother to take the time to explain things to mi.. well... i know better than mi lohzz. i told him, i prefer to b more on the frn side, rather than turn our reln into a biz partner. den later, we did chat. but sighzz.. i still suspect he has something up his sleeves..

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now, i feel tat i am cut off from the world...

right now.. i lokoing for ideas to improve the appearance of my blog.. like changing mouse cursor.. n a column to put links to variosu tests///

Your Birthdate: July 28

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame. You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems. Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego. You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance. Your strength: Your bold approach to life Your weakness: You don't accept help Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Pyramid Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

renfred at the ktv room...

renfred promo the finals of campus superstar competition

renfred's performances on stage...

i cant call him cutie. but he's handsome for his age.. n oozes charm easily.. i gues he'll b a prince charming as he grows up..

his tv promo during the competition of campus superstar

i can oni say, threats work on ppl who dunno how to protect themselves, or they have no way to fight back. n threats coem from ppl who dunno how to resolev issues properly, n jus wish to resolve it in their own-own way... whcih can b disastrous, esp when u thin that is the best way. rmb abt the "rash" period..

a threat for renfred.. an UNINVITED THREAT.. AHAH.. is this the cycle of life? when we r teens, we think og fighitng n threatening to shwo our aggressiveness, and vitality and for face. den as we mature, we seek other ways to express ourseles. den when we look back the yrs, we luff it off.. saying "i was rash in my younger daze".. den.. now... the teens of this digital age is still so threatening..

anoterh/// cute guy of the past... he was quite alright, n making a name for himsel;f.. but MTHS later... hahah.. gone down the stage... i even rmb, he starred in a taiwan show at least 15 yrs back. den he was in a room.. i was ready to change his changing clothes scenes.. n ahah.. viola!

adam being sissy...

adam interviewing hot babe michelle chia

adam filming wif michelle..

adam being gay.. lol

another close up of adam!!!

a rather attitude n beng guy of the past.. i used to like him.. when he was filming wif chew chor meng..

pretty much things to say... wil b a long blog

on friday, my last possible day of asgt submission.. haha.. somehow, i left office 30 mins earlier (office ok 1.. cos they know quality of work is not measured by quantity of time spent in office). wah.. luckily i check wif a classmate. he reminded mi of time lag!! 2 hrs!!! if not, i wun rmb it.. n i think i'l b late for sub siazz.. cos muz submit by 12mn their time. since it's so rushing, i rush home to do my asgt first.. den submit... phew... felt glad tat i submitted it. but den.. after submitting, i only felt.. "yes, i submitted liao".. but no feel of "HEY, I FINSIHED LIAO.. YUAHOO!!!! TIME TO ENJOY!!"... dun ask mi y.. i duno oso. n i decided, i'll def'ly go for swim next day to relax...

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sat, my schedule is PACKED... but lone activities lah.. went for bfast, den swim (did some stunts there lol.. n saw a few lean bodies, n cuties, had a pretty nice tan oso). 1 grouse. i exited from mrt train n went for the exit gate. usually the side of gates i exit from, all the gates r for exit. den today, oni the one meant for luggage access is available, all others got the X sign. umm.. ok.. i thot. den.. on the opposite end, got a few ppl wanna enter the gate. first, a caucasian lady. so, i went for the luggage gate exit. surprise, she went for it oso. n she got to it b4 mi. so, the gate opened, n i jus stood there, waiting to exit. den behidn her, got another indian ger. SURPISE AGAIN. the indian gerjust followed suit n entered from the luggage gate. i still stood there, looking in bewilderment.

and finally, right after the indian ger came in, an indian man walked in as well. i stared at him. he jus looked at mi n moved on.

wat r they doing????!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??! is it so hard, so tuff, so far, so difficult, so impossible to use the normal gates?????? HEY, all of them R NOT CARRYING ANY HANG LUGGAGE!!! at most the caucasian ger was carrying a bag on her back! wat r they thining?? got ppl use the gate, so they muz follow n use?? so they simply bochap wat other ppl r waiting for, n proceed to use the luggage entry cos it's wider??!??!?! hey, there is no exit gate at that side, but oni the luggage exit for mi to use. on their side, unless smrt system cock up, 3-4 machines are FREELY available for them to use!! OMG!! n... mind u, whenever non-locals visit any country, they r acting as the unofficial embassador for their country. this is a fact. my impression of a friendly n considerate caucasian (they usually appear friendlier mah) has been tarnished by the ger. DAMN!

haha.. den forget abt bitching.. (i dislike it, when i'm in a rush, n loking urgent, den ppl think u have something up ur sleeve.. n give u those suspicious looks). den, i was at a busstop where.. varsity students' buses will pass by n students will alight n .. transit etc. hehe, got a cutie walk past mi, n we exchange looks. he reacted alright. den he sat beside mi, n i looked at him a few times again, he appeared ok too. den my bus came, n i boarded it n sat on upper decker. surprisingly, he came up n sat a 2 seats before mi!! i was... thinking.. shld i b so bold to go up n .. tok to him?? argh.. was confused siazz.. n i went up after 10 stops.

mi: sorri, do u take tis bus often?
he: no.. y?
mi: cos i think i find u familiar
he: umm.. i dun thin so
mi: r u from "poly" or "sec sch"?
he: no..
mi: u join any public activities.. like flag day?
he: not realyl...

oh well, tat spells the end of my luck in.. picking ppl/frns up... sighzzz.. i tried it in oz.. in the pub.. tat tiem failed. n tis time failed oso... argh.. i'm bolder these days.. but.. i need results to encourage mi siazzz... haizz..

den in my monash class, the beng style guy.. today wearing tank top.. lol... haha.. saw his full arm, n the side f his chest lol... i think.. for our sake (studies hor.. du think wayward), i'll try to ask him join mi n 1 guy.. to form study group.. at least to discuss asgt/exam.

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later went to meet a frn... umm.. i know tis will surely b enjoyable.. cos my premonition told mi meeting will b fun, but 1 hr later ,beware... so, true, meeting for dinner very smooth n fun!! we toked freely, no boundaries or limitations.. some teasing here n there.. n building chemistry. near an hr later, we went off for another hearty chat elsewhere, or so i thot. den we saw an organic vege restaturant. we den discussed abt the food. i realise.. if i insist n describe further, it may lead to conflict of thinking n heated discussion.. so i stopped. i thot tis is the bad omen coming true..

but later we resolved it, by discussing it in a frnlier tone.. n open minded thnking. we later went to tis frn's office... ok lah. call him my poly frn.. dun say "no name" given. i thot... really thot... will b sitting down n chilling out.. in end, he started telling mi his biz plan... till now (blogging time), i still thinking, is the biz plan the bad omen, or the organic thing..

yes, i'm not ready for him to tell mi his biz plan suddenly. but since ppl (everyone, ie) has such needs, n i can afford for this need to take place, i;m ready to hear his plans. in my heart, i was thnking of "wah liao, again another person keen to jus earn money..", but i thot, since it'll b beneficial for my future, n i can afford it, y not listen thru first?

we oso toked abt blogging siazz.. haha.. n i quite surprised tat. he, being someone who is not IT inclined is oso blogging n managed to make a grp of frns thru it... but y shld i b? he's walsy been pretty out/easy-going for frnship.. he's relaxed, cheerful n.. etc lol.

in fact, i oso yearn for such... big group of frns.. but oh well, i am not ready for such... happening yet.. i stil lneed to scrimp n save..

the most interesting part of the ngiht is... my gal pal, offered mi a movie marathon (like past 2 wks). i am ok, so we supposed to mit n watch it. den later ,she say no good movie. unless i watch her HDD movies. i'm ok.. but the catch is, i muz bring my lcd monitor over. WAH KAU! i den suggested she come voer.. since my place got internet n monitor. den.. in end, she did come over.. n we had a fun chat lol.. however, in the end, we realised tat, we read too much into each other's lines n thots!

she was thinking.. i am bored n needed movies to kill time. tat y i so persistent to watch them.
but, i was thinking, she is feeling bored to stay home, n wanan find chatmates, so, well, i dun mind catching up wif her..
haha.. she even say her request for "bring lcd monitor over" is a hint tat we dun need to mit liao.. but i thot she was serious abt tat.. cos she always grab every chance to take adv of mi 1.. making the whole thing suit her good. in end, she came my place, n went off at 3am. shiok hor?

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sunday, super mood. cos... a long time no felt mood came back. i felt dejection in going for work tmr... while i ironing my work attire. i jsu felt.. i dun wan go back to work.. i dinno wat gave rise to tat.. till sunday evening, when i felt it may be due to "i was nto doing anything productive, as the progress is sLWO. n the reln in office not tat good ,but i will overcome in tiemt o come." n den, for bfast, we went amk there... hahah.. there, my mum saw politicians there.. n she.. BOLDLY went up to greet them n shake hands!! WOW!! n she was beaming afte rthe handshake!

1 thing to mention here is, i din realyl care abt hand shaking wif them.. but it';s a muz.. n basic courtesy... i dun even find the moment glamourous in my sense.. other than highlighting this handshaking thing to my frns... to boast the once-in-a-lifetime chance.. hahah. i wun even bother to take pic of them n post here..

*phew... took 1.5 hrs to blog... WAH...

um.. hahah.. have i grown (too) sensitive on ppl's behaviour?? somehow, i can interpret human behaviour (thru life exp) n guess wat they r thinking and their person. but at times, they did not mena to say tat... although they r doing such actions...

at my workplace, got 2 guys who same level as mi, but worked here longer than mi of cos. then, on my first/2nd wk here, they ask mi along for lunch. but soon, they din really care.. i mean, 1 time, they jus went off for lunch w/o telling. den the fat guy, when i try to make a joke, he will play it down...

oh well, i dun think my job need mi to b on GOOD terms wif ppl.. jus toking terms will do.

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i've finally finished my assignment.. haha.. sigh of relief yet.. but.. as the module say. project mgmt... n time mgmt. doing tis proj.. it's kinda.. not jus ans from the bk, but we really muz imagine n think of a possible scenario n give them the details of the proj in words.. this is the challenging part. when i tried to start on the asgt, i thot it'll b a simple first assignment. but as i progress to the project plan, i began to feel the strain, cos we have to really.. imagine a proj tat we wanna do, n plan the times n contrsaints wel. tis is indeed time consuming for mi, esp, when it comes to those biz rules n description.. like contigency plans. this is a really biz-like side.

haha.. i realise ta,t i really shld not jus assume this wikl b easy first asgt. probably shld have read thru it, and saw.. some sample...

anyway, asgt hand in liao.. tmr i gonna swim to relax...

wat the heck. my asgt is due on fri. on mon n tues night, i was trying my best to stay up till late night. but heck it, i felt drowsy/dizzy/sleepy n let myself lay down on bed. soon, i dozed off. i woke up at 4am on tues morning. i decided i MUZ finish a part b4 i get some more rest. as a result, i got tired at 4pm.

tues night, oso thing. sianzz.. i even dozed off, at 1155pm, n woke up in shock at 1214am. i saw the time, cos adam's show was on liao. i den drowsily answered 1 asgt qn. but felt disastrous, n fell back on bed. i woke at 4am, but decided to have a proper rest, if not, my work sure sucks.

tonight, i have to resort to watching vids to keep myself up liao. hope itll work.

==========

anyway, this morning has been pretty fun... well... the cute guy takes the bus, den is in the lift wif mi. den i was sms'ing. n i took the chance to take pix of him silently LOL........ den, i saw him twice. 1 time, he bought back his lunch to eat. den, 2nd time, i saw him wif his colleagues discussing abt electronic devices.. when i went to toilet. hahaha... den when i came out, i again looked at him LOL..

den.. today, is my first time not to feel tiresome when i KO. usually, i'll b in foul mood.. maybe today, i chatted wif my tech lead. so, some weariness is gone.. but hor, the pt is, i saw a guy on the bus, whose features is alike my.. first date.. n when i took my dinner, there was a beng-type guy sitting opposite mi hhaha..

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somehow, am i missing out on lotsa fun? not sexual fun, but blessings for the eyes LOL.. i am thkning, when everythign is over (umm.. including work? studies n asgts? or watever i can think of), i'll probably.. (or when i feel LOADED) probably visit those pubs n discos, sit outside there n drool over those fashionable dudes lol.. i know i wun go for ONS.. so, probably will oni b looking and enjoying the scenery.. hahah

the mgmt level guy did not msg mi for a few days. n i din send him any greeting msg as well. den on monday, i recv a greet. i check that it was from him. gosh, was i excited! almost like those "Charmed" sisters.. phoebe, who wil lsay "OMG, OMG, wat shld i do now??" n the guy is a matured thinking person, who wears a tie to work n has his own office those type. haha, these were my thots lah... but i din put these thots to action lol (read: drama).

i'm studying proj mgmt now. my first asgt is abt managing a fictious project. wah, i'm in luck siazz.. in my current job, we handle projs. so, i can think of a proj tat my company is handling n use it as a sample. wah, if i still at my old job, i wonder if i'm able to think of 1 siazz.

n these days, i been taking mrt to work. soemtimes, it seems that commuters who r in executive wear (long sleeve type) are more ready to give way, when i whispered "sorry" during ym exit. for those who in tshirt n some elderly ppl, they prefer to stay put in their area, n not to give any space for ppl to alight...

umm... did i mention, these days after KO, i'll get withdrawal symtoms in my head? will feel my head is very heavy n in bad mood. why? somehow, i guess it's 'cos this time i really look at my pc all day long, w/o letting my eyes rest. i din even try to tok n chat wif my colelagues.. been veli silent, n not mixing around much. but i guess from tmr, i'll try to chat more..

toking abt premonition... or omen...

hahah... at 12pm, my left eye twitched. den 1 hr later, my right eye. den a while later, my left eye again. 4pm, i will b in my class.. wat will happen? duno.. my usual time to arrive for class is 415pm. i got there at 425. the prime seats on the left, 2nd row taken up by the stylish guy (i tink i mentioned him last wk?), 3rd row by 2 gals (who i asked to look at their textbk last wk). so i took the 4th row. when i went in, the guy looked up, i abt to smile at him, but he dropped his head down liao.

after sitting, on my right is a hideous male. who is talking to 2 gers in front. when they stop, i ask the hid male abt an individual proj we need to finish.

me: have u done the asgt?
he: no.. haven yet..
me: den which qn u done till?
he: err.. qn 2...
me: so for qn 1, how long did u take to finish it?
he: err.. actually i haven do qn 1 yet. i did qn 3-5, den went to qn 2. so ahven do qn 1 yet.,.
me: oh.. ok.. thx :)

gosh.. lie oso dunno how to lie properly?!!??!?!? his words n his thots dun match at all!!!

somehow i thot tat is really a bad thing. at 4pm.

den thre was a break at 6pm. i decided to ask another person. ask, so tat can know soeone from the group, n know a new frn lah.. the stylish guy went off for his break. den i turned around. got 1 ger n guy sittign separately. i asked the guy abt asgt. we hit off quite alright. we even exchange msn. den hor, i saw the stylish guy come in, n saw tat we chatting there... well, nothing to say abt it lah

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den on sunday family bfast... i made my dad irritated/angry. i know, cos he's mumbling non-sensically. toking about a topic outta the blue. well, i was taking a fried item (you tiao), n saw a black dot. i ask mum, she say it's sesame seed. i was bewildered. my sis looked curious, so i showed her oso, den my dad chup in, saying "jus a sesame seed. nothing 1 lah. can eat 1 lah". but the thing is that, he din see it at all. i was oni asking. he sounded as though, i about to throw it away, without eating it. i retaliated, "i am oni asking. can i?".. den his mumbling started..

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today is oso the final showdown for campus superstar. of cos, the zhiyang has the vocal talent, but .. well, renfred has got the stage... presence.. or in my opinion, he can perform well on stage, and knows hwo to showcase his (dance) talent. i hoep renfred will win, but i know it'll b disastrous if he does, as he cant match any of the 3 finalists. however, wif his family bg, he managed to score high in the popularity votes. for the first 2 rounds, he's the more pop guy in terms of viewers' voting. den, suddenly at the deciding round, he lost the edge. i know it's "definitely the right way thigns should b". however, why did he suddenly lose the edge??

when he gave his thank-you speech, he mentioned "god parents". at tat instant, i felt soemthign was wrong... did he realise tat, he really shld not advance anymore, so, at a point, he requested his family to stop voting? if not, i really dun believe his votes cant surpass zhiyang. renfred know tat, his g-parents r supporting him tremendously, so when he gave thx-u speech, he really thanked them a lot for supporting him to this stage.

wow... the power of money. n the power of good looks =D

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sigh, back to my monash.. a proj mgmt asgt (very theory) supposed to hand in on 7th apr. i thot of focussing on it on 2nd apr, n finish. den thot, i might as well start reading up on 1st apr night. so, i did read up on 1st apr. but till 2nd apr, i finished reading the notes (wif a headache caused by stress), evening liao, i stil din start yet.. haizzzzzzzz

focussing on reading my monash book "Introduction to Management Science", cooping myself up at home. For economic reasons as well as for academic purpose.

however, over months, n months (yr is 2 long), an ex-frn of mine has been tryign means and ways to contact mi. msn, frnster, hp. n perhaps some other legal ways. my way of forgiving is, is the person really sincere in making up, he'll try his best to contact u n stay in contact. this person has now tried really various ways. he even register in flix movies n asking mi to join him. although i'm not sure if the "joining" is done wif real intention, or he's still having my address in his contact list.

if he's really so keen, i dun mind staying in contact with him, but our closeness will b cut to minimal. i no longer can share my intimate moments wif him, n no longer trust him wif watever he says to mi. being "used" is 2ndary. used, as in, he making use of mi for monetary gains. n.. now i'm really tight financially, or as always. he's a person who enjoys going out n staying out. i'm gotten out of that cycle. i'm nto sure, if i still keep in contact with him, will these affect our "frnship" ("" is on purpose) adversely?

adam.. in last ep..

renfred doing promo for campus star..

liu geng hong doing stunts

sebastian on bed..umm.. i have such pic already.. but .. wat the heck