luv_ktv's untold moments

i seem to discover another side abt myself. yes, i've been single for 2-3 wks. during these times, i have kinda not been myself. in the sense, i dun observe tat much in public. in past, watever happen, i'll b observant/kaypoh to turn n look to see wat happen. even if nothing, i'll jus lok around to see the place/env. but now, even if i know someone is behind me wanting to over-take, ppl beside mi n i shld give way, all these eg scenes, i dun give a damn to them. i'll jus do my things as tho i never see them.

n as i said, on bus, i seldom look up to see the crowd n look around. i jus look outside windows, n dun care who r on the bus. jus in my own single life world.

i wonder if this is my after-effect. ie, i givign up on my social n usual life, dun give a damn abt wat's going on anymore. simply living in oni a "i the only person alive" world. i really duno.

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here comes another conflict of mine.

i recently know of a frn. we had declared each other as cute. so, maybe i refer to him as CUTE. last wk, we went out after my class. not exactly went out. we met up for a drink, n later went kai kai n tok loh. he's much younger than mi, so at times, i know y he's doiung some things. i wonder if this will cut down the thrill n excitement on surprises. we did enjoy our time toking, (cat) fighting, teasing. den i sent him home on his bus.

this wk, i wanan relax. cos i know i coop up too much n wnana relax b4 i embark on anothwer mission. so i ask him again for ktv. but he's working tat day. need to leave in early evening for it. my class is 1-4pm. den i was trying to fix a good time for us both. i checked the lecture notes for this wk. seem maangeable. so i actually decided, i'll skip this wk lecture, so tat can meet him up n go ktv.

after routine family bfast, i din tell family tat i meeting frn, but said i going class. i really have no idea. i actually skipped my class to meet him up for a leisure event. yes i can argue tat i need to relax, so alright to skip class. but it's not right. but i dun have regrets skipping it.

den went around shopping, n finally to ktv. along the way, did lotsa bitching, teasing, fun stuff, screaming n making fun. hhe, pretyt enjoyable. altho i'm much older than him, but my size n look make mi seem his age. esp when i dress up in teen attire. i dunno wat's going on wif mi. on 1 hand, a recent break made my life hell. on other, i enjoy the time spent wif CUTE.

he's someone who i can tease n joke wif. similar to my Oz pals. oni diff, he's CUTE. btw, frequent mention of "CUTE" dun carry any emphasis on it. jus my way to refer to him, n my view of him. maybe as he's much younger, he dun have much thots hidden inside him. so easier for mi to click wif him. n we are frns, so the barrier of the common aj thinking dun affect us. cos we know our opinions of each other, we seem to have no obstacle in praising each other, or crude jokes.

we have good impression of each other, so we r quite ok wif certain gestures from us. i dun have qualsm acepting those gestures. n maybe he's thos thinking type, he can understand certain thigns to a level, no need mi to tell directly. n from the ktv, we share similar.. or jus frankly, same interest/hobby. i think i jus found antoehr ktv kaki. he been thru proper trainin so lota things, i can share my thtos wif him. n he's not afraid to "hurt" mi. i find this pretty fun. ie, when it comes to fun, play hard. when it comes to concern, shower it.

can any1 tell mi wat am i doing? wat's in my mind? i'm confused.

as to wat happened today, i gues nothig needs to b told.other than, i'm making a complaint.