luv_ktv's untold moments

disappointing stories come to me 1 by 1.

1) i'm not used to studying hard anymore. been wnating to wake at 3-5am to read notes, but... but i'll either wake up, forget wat happened, n sleep again. alarm does not help.

2) my brain seem to have burnt out. in the sense, i'm really tired out.. or perhaps, i've given up in the chase for high qualification. i totally.. jus read thru the notes, unless i remind myself, i have no idea wat thigns shld i memorise. for my java, it's the same. i know the theories. but the qns r quite tricky. i saw that in the basic exam. but... was not prepared for it in the adv 1.

n i muz admit, the failure in java did affect mi, causing a disruption to my dreams of full-fledged programmer. until.. this... monash.

right now, i'm only waiting to give my last shot, den enjoy n relax. n for those frns who i tok to these few days, thx a heaven lot (hell is not a gd word) for ur accompany, and care/concern, and luv. i've been holding myself back a lot for now, hope i can totally let myself go after my exams, and show my appreciation for those who been supporting mi... behind the scenes..

talkign about enjoyign n relax.. it means returning to myself. Mariah's song: no stress no pain, i'm leaving it all behind. in fact, 4 songs r inside my mind.

1) Mariah Carey's It's Like That
2) TATU's All About Us
3) Mavis Fan's We want us to be together
4) Fish Leong's Unconditional, For you

3) n i realis tat, over these days, or period of time, i've not read the papers, although i can still think logically n analyse, but i've become pretty blur. 1 such incident is when i visited Singapore pools. there r 4 containers who picking out a number eeach. to think, i actuall thot... 1 container pick a winning 4 digits each. there r 23 combos of 4D to get. it's a prime number. how come put 23 container? who can the container finish the job for 23 combos?

den i realise, 1 container pick 1 number of a combo. DUHZ... m i really so burned out?

4) a loyal reader of mine (William ie), had commented tat i shld not focus so much on 1 thing n perhaps lose the goodness of another. well, if i've passed my exams properly, i've made a good sacrifice. but now, i doubt it.

5) not been visitng my frns' blogzss for a long time. as i have the thot of focussing on my exam. but it seem futile... n yes, i wasn't tat apreciative of my frns's efforts in the past, in the sense, i din voice out how grateful i am/was. now, i'm getting more appreciative... :) hope i'm beign more empathic in this way

my alarm has jus went off at 3pm. imagine. it rang 3am, den til l330am or 352am den i woke to TURN IT OFF