luv_ktv's untold moments

somehow, i have a number of things to update, but off hand, i cant rmb all...

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not sure hwo to start off a subjct. well, in the past, if there is soemthign i haveto rmb, eg some words, some sequence, etc, i will usually PICTURE IT n rmb it. picture as in, i keep the whole image (or how the word looks like) and rmb it. den i can recall it easier, insteaqd of remembering by its pronunciation or spelling. but jus now, i was tring to rmb "bodhisattva", n was using its pronunciation. den i rmb, i shld b usign the "film" in my brain. ehhe, i managed to do it. even when i was in sec sch, there was a tv show, the ppl were told to rmb a sequence of numbers. (left 2, right 5, left 3, left 1, etc)

for ppl who have a GOOD memory, well, shld b no problem. but others, may rmb it by the left 2/3/4. but for mi, i pictured it in my brain, the position of the first number, 2nd 3rd. since it's a picture, i can rmb it. my mum oso ask how i did it.

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last night was showing the superstar ppl hosting. they got a sauna scene. wat i rmb, is such idols usually dun bare their skins so easily. the producer either changed it perception and the "idols" too, or they wanna save the viewership.

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during my 6 mths of working tis yr, i somehow was persistent in my idea n suggetions. den now, my exams over liao, i seem to have better control over my EQ n way of expressing myself.

den yesterday, when i go to work, i was using my mp3 player, n taking news paper. wah, i kinda look so cool siazz.. ahah, n for the first tiem, i was really mesmerised by the songs i was listening, tat i was humming the songs to myself. hehe, i felt i kinda made some ppl turn their heads. but i was really.. turned on by the songs, i bochap :)

hehe, i rmb 1 mth back, got a caucasian said in a forum tat he was listening to his fast paced songs n dancing to himself, the passers-by all stared at him in disbelief haha.

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ahha, jus checked on the "map". for france/paris ahah, so paiseh siazzz

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somehow, these days i seem to get premonitions... eye twitches... dunno how true is tat...

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"this is not a very friendly response!" - u mean the monash modules? ehhe, paiseh paiseh.. but haah, it did help in making our grad time sama sama rite?? hahaha...

"Stay away from my HR turf!" - hehe, It support is not an area to be survived on. i got java basic to fall back on. my dip is too outdated liao. see first.

--- i am an introvert all along. i tried to make myself outgoing but it's VELI tiring. i mena, i can be spontaneous n be chatty wif newly made frns. but over time, it'll die down, cos it's really tiring. job ads often ask if candidates ca b team player. i thot i can. cos as long there is communications within the team, it shld b alright to work as a team.

but now, i have doubts on myself abt tat. can i really work as a team member? my job now centres on picking up phones and answering queries. many times, when i'm at my pc, i feel lazy to walk around n chat wif ppl. i am just stuck on my chair. unless my inquisitive side gets mi, i wun go up and tok much. wld prefer to stay quiet n b ready to pick calls.

i begin to feel tat i need to work alone, wif myself working hard to control the direction of my future. ie, a stable n low income is not my vision. wld prefer a career whcih i can take charge of its happening. well, perhaps my prog self is coming back, in the marketing n sales line.

i do prefer making new frns n moving around. although this can b tiring at times.

my self esteem is low, as wat i gathered from a social cognition book. as a person who acts independently (hey, i resolve my own problems as best as i can n take care of myself), i have high esteem on tat. but wif a group, i usually no idea who to join. 'cos wif a group, i dun relaly know who i can tok to. and whether tat person will wanna tok to mi anot. unless tat person has formed strong bonds wif mi?

usualy, i prefer to tok to gers. cos, they r the frnlier kind? n we can oso tok abt guys if the need arises. but now, another reason came up to mi: if i tok to guys, i tend to judge them wif their appearances. if it's nice looking, i will try to tok more to acquaint wif him. if not, i may try to tok at times.---

"YOu actually went to an exams unprepared?" - ye, u saw it rite. well, i totally lost hope in preparing for it. not say din read anythign. u know, i was reading the first LT notes, den saw it's merely points n need to refer back to txtbk to read details. den at the txtbk, i din bother to find out which chap/sect/para the notes were discussing, n stated from the basic chap of the bk. i found joy (wah, sound veli xtian hor?) in reading tat part. i realise my foundation is kinda really gone. i was re-picking up my HW knowledge. wat's more, 2 days to help mi finish 11-12 stacks of LT notes, each wif 30-50 pages. n not forgetting i nedd to touch on the asgt, n past exams to brush my skills up. all these, i dun BLIF i can finish in 2 dayss.

this is not "having no conf" but knowing ur limits n not pushing urself too hard when u know u really cant mee the deadline. but i still read watever i can, in the book. wif the knowledge i have, i went for the exam wif a light heart. i still managed to ans soem qns ok lah. i did not return a blank page.

"It now works, and you're syndicagted again" haha, nice to hear tat. i think it's really due to the language settings on my blog :) do keep ourselves in contact with each other!!

" Hey luvktv, you have a great blog here" was posted to a blog dated in february. pretty surprised, but nothignt o say.