luv_ktv's untold moments

not forgetting somthing. in my poly days... i have often been lying. i felt quite ok. cos i think my lies were quite flawless. until i saw jackie chan commercial. he say he dun like to lie, as he need to come up with another lie to cover the first one. it's very tiring. i saw some truth in it. n decided to b truthful. n i've alwasy been wanting to b true n frank abt my orientation. cos there r places which r exclusive to gays, but will b obvious if i were to say it out.

i had a job whcih i was frank abt myself. ya, to the extent of even telling a yandao colleague tat he does look good too. 3 wks later, i was transferred to another br. this br, i work 4 days lao. den they tell mi they dun need mi anymore. i discussed this online n realised that i was 2 open. coming out is 1 issue, and telling a str8 guy i like him is another.

from then on, i decided it's unwise to b tat frank. n hide my orientation all the way. till now. it's pretty tiring. 'cos i cant let ppl know abt it, i can't discuss some things wif them. cos i got no job security, i dun wan my orientation to b an obstacle to my success. it's really like living in a conflicted self.

i'm an introvert by nature. i can b an extrovert if i choose to be, altho will b tiring. soemhow, other gays seem to be living a happy life without coming out at all. but wif mi, not so. so i think, it's my PR skills. somehow i really prefer a place where... my orientation can b a known-2-all. but will not affect my job. it's a risk i have to take though.

bur right now, it's not a good/rite time to think of career path. w/o managing to tok to SOS line, i feel i muz do well, at least in this upcoming exam.