luv_ktv's untold moments

is this my destiny? this morning suddenly felt heaty inside n feeling cold outside. doc say maybe due to viral infection, cos my temp is ok. so i took the med. wah lioa. the med so strong i slept for abt 6 hrs siazz. but... damn, i kinda stress until almost wanna fall asleep, den my brain wake mi up, sub-consciously. happena few times. in end, slept for 1 hr, 1 hr.feel so bad to leave my colleagues in the lurch... guess... i muz really clean up my room. i think its cleanliness is the root cause. not been clearning up for months. ever since... i started prep for my first java exam... or even java course. this fri is my final exam. hope i can find a good place to relax...

destiny, as in... destined tat i dun have time to read my exam. u know, i slept for about 6 hrs siazz.. mean, 6 hrs i no study at all. my boss oso called to see if i keng 1. having lost 6 hrs, n knowing NUTS, or jus BASICS of my exam, i can oni depend on reading the books, skimming the notes, and revising the asgts to update my knowledge. frankly, this exam, i no cofidence of passing. for the monday exam (24/10), i stand a chance. cos the theories i can smoke thru, n argue thru wif my prac exp, den the program skills part, i oso ok, cos i used to it. i even thot, how come they asking such simple questions? wif my (own) level, these r considered pri sch std to mi. but i still did it, telling myself jus ans watever simple question they ask.

for fri exam, i think will b my first time to walk out within 1 hr... cos... haha, totally no clue how to answer the questios... will keep my fings crossed still. actually, as i studying, i oso thot of simply not atetnd the exam, as i know i sure flunk. but then, w/o trying is not my style. n after i try, cos this sem the lecturer is first time coordingating the module, her style may b diff in setting exam. if i fail this time, i will know her pattern and know how to deal wif her. haha, in fact, after writing this line, I AM contemplating (read: To have in mind as an intention or possibility) of really not studying since i so no confi in passing. i mean, i got 10-12 SGs to revise (read up), each SG has 30-50 slides to go thru. the slides, well, contain oni pt form info. i lost the foundation of internal HW. failing the asgts mean i totally dun understand the contents. i can depend on the books to give mi back the foundation, but in 2 days? i did try the asgts from wat i learn from the bk, but i still failed 3 outta 5. the first asgt i lack 1 pt from a perfect score as it;s DAMN easy. the last asgt got border line pass, cos i din answer to wat the marker was looking for.

all of u, pls... pray? dunno lei, cos i no confi i will pass. will pray help? can oni depend on luck n my smoking skills. i'm actually prepared to re-take tis module. cos, been 1 yr since i took my last HW related module. HW i totally clueless n blur. den now, suddenly, i taking the 2nd level HW module. den 'cos my java exams, i din have time to read up n study the module. or, + after the first lesson, i feel it's VERY simple n can-pass-1, so din bother to take time to read up n attend the lessons, oni when first 2nd asgt is due, den i dunno wat to ans, i went to class again, n realise how chim it is. ok, since taking up the 2nd level module, i feel i somehow, lack the foundation i built up 1 yr back. tat y so hard to mi to grasp the gis.

so, ya, prepared to re-take the moduke. n yes, if u din catch the hint, at this moment, i kinda set my mind to finish my monash first. but still may go to fields other than IT. perhaps to earn money first? IT now sucks ofr mi, cos my kowledge is too low level, unless i go for java basic program job. duno. haha, thot of some other things, but.. dunno once more for short.

anyway, it warms my heart to get a comment from carameal, as though 2 guys on the verge of breaking r encouraging each other. n it touches mi to see the line abt graduating together.. haha... pals in need r pals indeed.