luv_ktv's untold moments

wah, after so long never blog liao, now it's timet o update my current condition. some bitching to do. some comemnts to reply. some updates to write. after updating, i wun know wat will happen to it. disppwar into thin air? or stay on, cos it's part of my life nowadays. dunno, cos my feels have not settled down yet

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bitching:
- seem tat this anony guy, really made it a pt to b anony. neither virgil nor W know u.
- well, if a frn visits a page, does he need to inform everyone? not many of ur kakis are concerned to find out abt mi, thus they dun bother to check out this site.
- exams need full focus to do well. if u hear some bad news, n for 1 wk, u dun hear anythign from ur loved (pun intended) ones who are the afected ppl, r u able to forget abt it, n focus on ur books? if u can, congrats. i've not reached tat cold state yet. i'm still a very feeling person.
- whether or not, W needs a guy like him, is not for u to comment or criticise. u can let him know ur view n wat u'll do, but why are u encouraging?

- willieam, thx for ur support all the way... n ur effort to blog, when u usually email..

- sonya, well, bitches are labelled as one. they dun call themselves to b so, or know they are, unless ppl call them. :)

- since when did my frn sonya speak up for mi?
- knwoing u wun affect anythign, but at least i'll know this person has the courage to own up to wat he wrote. if not, it's another wilful comment posted in the cyber world. if u are matured enuff to post comemnts whcih u think are so god damn righteous, why is there a need to hide urself?
- if u think a relation is destructive, by all means, break from it. but if ur frne tink it's destructive, but u feel otherwise? wat ppl need usually, are support from frns, not suggestions.

- carameal, gosh, thanks for dropping by. guess u've never seen my site in such comment-ful state. but.. well, although we aren't together anymore, i dun prefer to use such direct words still...
- well, i guess i had to let it go somehow

- leave us alone? thanks for suggesting it. i hope this line has been in ur mind all along, rather than just this period.

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in order to update my reg visitors all at 1 go, i guess it's best to write in blog. used to it anyway.

met up wif W. (still pretty keen to write "my boi"). had a headache in morning, but still insisted on meeting him. i wore all those things tat he bought for mi, hoping will leave an impression on him. took our diner, n chatted halfway when we felt it's better to go public space, where we will not b able to create scenes.

there, had a long chat. i had wanna start all over again, cos i, over the lonely week, know wat went wrong, n how i shld deal wif it. during the 1 wk, i felt another person. i felt my heart is overwhelming mi, making mi feel my heart. i start to know why W is behaving in all these manners. too bad these happened oni after the fatful day.

i had tried to assure him, tat i'll take care of his emotions. however he rejected, as he does not want history to repeat. saying tat's it's not possible to change within such shrot time. n the more we change, e more we become diff. he felt we've come to an end, n shld lead our lives separately once again.

i tried my best to get him back, but he was adamant on discontinuing it. he told mi to take care of ymself. i can't promise him tat. he dun wan mi make him weep, cos he may go weak n agree to start over. but he know he shld not.

i started to relate, how i got my gifts for him, n how much these mean to him. but he was insistent on leaving. he had wanna call mi by my pet name gain. i refused, cos it'll oni make mi feel terrible.

lastly, we parted. he said that, after parting we can still b frns. i doubt so. cos if i see him, i'll need to control myself from hugging him. if we go wif his frns, who can tag along? he left, n i wait for my bus. on way home, i msg him sweet nothings, hoping he'll come back. well, he was jus very keen to break off from mi, laweving no chance for reconcilation.

i had assured him, now tat i kno how to tok wif his heart, i am in better position to deal wif thing. but he said it's too late. if i keep pushing him, he will oni have to make a painful decision.

n his decision was, "it's happier for him to leave this reln than to continue"

well, i accept it. if it's his decision. but this time around, i'm finally able to understand why, ppl could be numbed by affairs of the heart to want to start off another reln. it's just too tiring and painful.

if he's not so direct, i would like set myself to win him back by our next mth anni, but he's chosen the path.

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tat's all folks.