updates..

i've discussed my work situation wif my sis... sianzz.. i feel tat, i've just stepped in the company, n kena some silent politics wif my upperstudy.. well, i jus wanna do my best at work n contribute to the company. but somehow.. she dun like dat..

imagine.. i was idle for 2 wks, and after tat, she den gave mi the docu abt our ssytem to read up. n tis docu is in shared drv.. why the hell did she give mi oni 2 wks later, when i was swamped wif work??

den.. tis wk (starting 11 sept), i need to work on xml and xsd codes for our new system. she has been working on the xsd n xml for wks b4 tis wk, cos tat's her role: to play around wif it. den i need to modify an existing script's code that will translate the original doc to our required format (its work concerns, so i cant mention the specific stuff). tis 1, i tried to convert... first time dun work, so i work hard to find out the reason. 2 days later, i cant. i got prob.

i wnana edit the code, den she say i acnt jus change like dat.. den i stuck liao.. no matter how i do the conversion, the document cant b opened directly. i thot of changing the conversion code so tat the conversion is smoother, but i was OF COS wrong. it's too complicated to be understood. i just touched perl for wks.. maybe abt 5-6. n i am debugging a perl script. WOAH... of cos i cant make it.

end up teh script got more complicated. sianzz.. i den checked with her... she den said, she got an UPDATED XSD file. n sent mi. i took it, n managed to get the XML to work better...

n later, i asked wat files do i need to translate, den the sup reminded her to send it over. but sup ended up sending.

n... i had to work OT over the wkend to finish the job. n lol.. somethign interesting happened... 1 bzbody bitch (proj lead role) saw mi stay back for the night, n saw mi in morning again. so i told her i slept in office for the night. she den went to tell other sups tat i work over the nigte. even my boss came to show concern. lol.. when my sup came, i felt the need to explain.. cos, it reflects BADLY on mi, if i work over the night, but no result is evident. n i really did not work over the nite. the sup was stuned... den when i told him the truth, he felt better..

den.. over the wkend, i realise tat.. the upperstudy's part was CRUCIAL to my success!!! wat the conversion does is jus tat. to convert documents. but the upperstudy's work determines if the file can be opened successfully.... sighzzz... i can oni depend on myself.. REALLY..

getting more emotional

n these days, i realise i'm really getting pretty emotional.. outta emotions, i can understand why ppl do certain things.. n my tears start flooding my eyes...

havign someone in my thots

doing OT now.. n listening to mp3... Mariah's "We belong together"

hearing the ending part "when you left, I lost a part of me. It's still so hard to believe".... reminded mi of someone... gues who?

my murderer...

gosh.. PERL is really a hell of tuff codes... all those special patterns r killing mi..

my team (mi, upperstudy n team lead) has a meeting 2 days back. to decide how to modify a script so tat it can adjust to our new system. my lead said "dun worry, u r still new kid on the block.. dun expect u to fully understand the picture now.."

i felt re-assured.. at least i knw he understands it can b hard to understand the architecture.. n not think my progress is slow.. but i feel i'm... u know the reason..

BUT, jus now, during a training session wif client, my boss came beside mi, n ask how i was coping.. i said "ok lah.." she asked "u sure?" den i say "just the perl script is giving mi headache..." she then mentioned mi some mentors who i can look for if i got prob

after tis line, i begin to wonder.. if someone u employed is supposed to do a task (javva), but end up having to focus on another task (perl), n he's having prob wif it, is it better to find another person to take it up (bene here for almost 3 mths), or keep pushing him for the "another task"?

i wonder if, her line meant good.. ie if i got prob, i can look them up.. OR telling mi to buck up.. or else.. her tone is more to care n concern, not threatening or disappointed type

jus tat ,i can see for myself, for java stuff, i totally no prob. but for perl, i need to train real hard.. while i'm doing my asgt... sighzz

it's hard.. to work,..

monday blues.. m i getting it? really a bad workday of my career...

at the production area (money making side), got some prob n i had to re-do my stuff to fix the prob. den later, i was discussing wif my upperstudy abt the prob, but she dun get my point, n kept iterating hers.

den in morning, wow, din expect myself to finish reading my papers in 1 hr siazz... so little news meh? n been working too hard, i develop headache.. but din tell any1.

got lotsa things to do in 1 day, but i managed to finish them properly.

however, wat made my day bad/sad is, my upperstudy once again betrayed mi. last fri, she ask mi send her a file tat contains all the formatting. but she again said she din recv. i am stunned.

den.. i been trying to hook up openoffice for wks, but got bugs, or maybe it's not suited for the tasks i assigning it. in end, my team gave up on it. i..knw i din really put in 100% effort, cos i basically duno much things.. n realise i actually been turning in rounds. but i am really not feeling gd when they jus scrapped OO away.. when i felt, if given more time, i can do something...

so end up ,i need to do modify pieces of perl code whcih i nvr saw b4... n i merely touched perl for 2 mths.

m i not being exploited for wat i'm good at? i love java n programming.. but til now, my scope has been 20% on java 50% perl, n 30% on the.. OO thingy. i knw its good exposure.. but i m having hard time wif it... sighzzz..

y i din update for ages

a close frn recently msn mi, wanna chat wif mi.. but i left abruptly, he den grumbled tat we din get to tok much.. n i din update my blog often oso..

well, sad to say, i din have time to do those thigns... really.. this period of time, i'm really damn damn darn caught up wif my asgt n catchign up @ work..

not havign a relaxing time.. nt tat the honeymoon period is gone.. i dun enjoy honeymoon anyway. nt a nice period to get over.. esp when u got nothing to read up, jus sitting there to kill time. but it's cos.. of being overloaded wif tasks...

it's not an enjoyable time.. the catching up n understanding of the wat's required n duties @ work, i'm ok, but need time to catch up. cos.. due to some mis-arrangement, documentation abt proj, additional tasks, troubleshooting all came together.. pressing on mi.. den.. oso got asgts coming, or dropping from sky, n we need to do a proposal for a new system.

tuff luck.. wa'ts hard is.. abt the new system, due to asgt, i din have enuff time to read n thus i quite blur at start. but somehow i managed to realise wat's required of mi. but.. as fate may decree.. my upper study kinda mis-led mi (tat wat i feel.. perhaps lack of chemistry n understanding?) n i strayed into doing something tat ended up 2 b futile. so right now, i dun really knw wat's exactly need of mi to chk on. i feel i;m the bottleneck. but i realyl felt misled.. cos, during 1 meeting, upperstudy said i din pass her the file yet. so later i sent her, she den say it's nt wat she want. she told mi to copy her contents n use it. so i did. next meeting, she again said i din send her yet. i was STUNNED. so i asked her wat file she exactly wan. she say she wan the file to b exactly like wat she sent mi...

gosh, how am i supposed to get it?? i even told my supervisor, i think i losing my direction in the proj. i knw it's ok to say so.. cos the programign side, i've been ok, but in tis proj, i knw i fail some ppl's expectations. but somehow, i feel the upperstudy is.. trying to obstruct my progress at times..

cos.. when i got there, i managed to solve a bug tat irritated them till they had to get additional head count to kill it. within 1 wk. they were troubling over it u know? den, they wanna setup a linux system to test something.. i managed to set it up in 2 wks. all done within timeframe. but durignt is time, upperstudy shld b sharing wif mi, on how the proj is abt n its directions. but since then, for 2 wks, she din tell mi anything. i been asking her on alternate days, but she keep saying she busy. so i been staring into blank.

den u know wat? she later sent mi the link to the shared folder, where the docu of the proj is kept. soft copy. at that time, i was thinking "since it';s shared ALREADTY, why not jus lemme have it donkey time ago??" i canread it n raise any concerns!!! oni when i got busy, den she passed mi the docu. wat worse, days later, while doing a task, she asked "u haven read the docu yet ah? the things u asking mi actually inside docu.."

alright... nvm.. have to do wat i can..

recent news

for days, or weeks, i've been knockign off from work late.. from 8+ to 11pm. sighzz.. tired..

n den, jus nw on my way to class, i find tat i'm really... desperate for guys.. desperate for good bodies to play wif, n for fingers n tongues on me. well.. jus nw i was at my aunt plc, cos singnet guy going there to fix WLAN for her. i was thnking wat kinda guy will b there.

den... a guy knocked on the door.. he's got a beng face, n hair (style, not color), his body is those 30+ yo type. den i thot, how come my aunt got tis guy fixing her WLAN, but mine is a 40+yo ah peh guy?? wif tis beng guy, if nt for my aunt, i could b standing beside him while he setting up WLAN, n mayb tease him a bit n massage him? but he's married. when he mi n aunt r discussing thigns, we did exchange glances. but tat's all. n well, due to tis reaction of mine, i conclude, i'm really desperate for guys...

n i realise again... i'm really getting honry... cos once again, if any guy jus came up to mi, as long he lookable.. i ok 1. but.. well it's my despo side.. i dun wan to jus.. do it... when i cant think properly...

anyway, i was sent tis website... the guy has a pretty hot n good body.. but i totally dun like his hair do.. those.. strands of hair hanging in front. n some pix, he looks better.. frnlier.. outta these, hottest picture inside.. enjoy..

it's really been a stressing and tiring week...

juggling between completing asgts on time n getting used to workload. cos, nw i finalyl got the chance to do more things at work which r productive.. productive as in i can see the fruit of my work being seen n put to use.. but had to put in extra hrs at times to get things to work.

nw i oso understand how tuff n tiring it's to work n study at the same time. imagine: when doing my asgt, i made myself either sleep @ 11+ wake 3am, or sleep 2+ n den wake for work. as a result, i m not convinced tat i did well for my asgt... sianzz.. wonder if tis means, taking a toll on my health.. but i'm still going strong..

den ytyda, i again went for haircut... that cute hairstylist i showed him the wedding pic.. liao.. i had wanted him to scroll the pix himself.. den see how he respond when see my taking off pic.. but in end, i scroll the pix for him.. but well, i'm happ tat he sittign beside mi to see the pic.. n when he doing my hair, stood in such way tat,. his small T shirt giving way between shirt opening n his pants.. wah.. i felt like sliding my hands inside siaz!!! n when he's doing my hair.. i felt so... relaxing lol...

den.. today got 1 guy doing check on pub meters. haha.. my family closed the door on him. well, 2 bad he dun look nice.. if not, i will entertain him..

n well, nw my studies load getting heavier... n cos my asgt was due soon, i hadt o focus on my asgt.. den.. i was split into 2.. n i realise i din manage to perform good enuff at work. din have time to read up properly on wat's required for work..

vincent's comments

few days back, vincent comented on jeff wang pictorial book. he said "at least i din show my butt". wah liao, i really luffing my head off siazz! good 1! i took ti tat it's simply a harmless comment, n well jeff INDEED bo liao 'ly show his butts. dunno for wat siazz.. is there a need? not as though he's some acclaimed gd-fig guy.. unless he made (positive, hopefully) news overseas, i wonder wat made him shoot the series...

look at dear vincent. fantastic fig, a fig tat male body builders, or gym goers aim for..

umm... n i gonna buy his book too... yes, i will.. but save up first..

zoe's swallowing act

when ppl's lucky star dims, is it inevitable tat they will kena all sorts of unfriendly n unhelpful slurs?

zoe was, is, and still our caldecott queen. who in the world dunno who is she?? or rather,, singapore. no pun. in the past, watever she does is news.. gd n positive news. news that put her in limelight and pulls her pop level up.

nw, she is not tat into showbiz liao. den nw, every little thing she does attracts negative words. even the "i swallow" phrase got ppl say she's degrading herself. n tat the words r seductive. bad influence for kids.

gosh, come on!!!! if u dun think wayward, wat will give rise to wayward thinking?? u are the one thinking of sexual stuff, thus thinking tat the phrase is sexual. the words carry literal meaning, but u gave it its symbolic's. is she to blame, or viewer?

if u feel "swallow" is a bad word, den why is Fann Wong showing her armpit? guys show theirs to display their masculinity. gers? isn;t tat making her a sex symbol? n attracting guys wif (shaved) armpit fetish??

getting touchy OOOHHHHH

woah... these days.. i always seem to have thigns to tok abt that decent cute guy siazzz... u knw.. he was at my desk, n i sniffed cologne from him. den he told mi he applied it everyday... den he let mi sniff... putting his hand in front of mi.. i grab his hands wif both of my hands n sniffed... lol.. WOAH>>>>>>> heavenly......

happenings wif the cute guy

lol..1 day, i was handing up some docs to a room. den open door, the decent cute guy came out. ahha.. i joked tat he din pull open the door for mi.. n act blur.. mumble soemthign n move towards mi... den suddenly,

he pulled my long sleeve shirt off my pants!!! wahhaah... although he took it as teasing fun, i find it... enjoyable lol.. but i knw he's str8...

den today.. hehe, seems like he's really used to havign mi around liao... den as the weather is HOT, he's almost perspiring. den i ask if he scared heat. he say now so hot, of cos ler.. den he press my shirt against my back.. WAHAHAHA... i exhilerated siazz!!

den i said "no sweat rite"? den he again tried to lift off my shirt.. but tis time failed. den i responded, wif a finger pointing to him "again!?" n he jumped away... hwhaahha,... fun...

tasks at hand

when i'm given specific tasks to do.. i think i'm able to do it fast. esp when i knw exactly wat's needed.. but when it's my first time to try thing out, i can b very dis-oriented abt wat's exactly expected of the outcoem of my work.. i realyl muz overcome tis... ie, if i really nt sure wat's expected of mi, ASK n clarify.. dun assume i knw...

hugged by cute guy

wow... a happy day for moi!!!

the cute decent guy @ my office.. is getting more n more comfy n relaxed wif mi..

1 day, it's raining while we weere out for lunch. den.. i ask if any1 can share umbrella. he volunteer share wif mi!!.. n cos its raining, while we sharing umbrella, he put his arm over my shoulder so tat i stick to his body!! so nice feelin!!! wowo!!!

den, today, some of us going for soccer game.. i din realyl plan tat he will b going oso.. but incidentally, he's going too!! when we got there, we went to change.. n i was thinking.. hehe, can see his torso. but well, he's not those exhibitionist type.. he was facing the wall while changing..

den when we choosing teams.. we use "oh-ah-pei" method (black or white game) to determine who go which team. wah.. as the person utttered the words, i was not prepared wat to show. n i gave a black. heheh.. n tat guy oso gave black. we r same team!!!

n here comes the surprise... during 100% of the game, he went topless!!!!!!!! can see his body siaz!!! wah liao... jus nw at game, din think 2 much.. nw.. i can really fantasize him kena tied up LOL..

effects of divorce

i dun think i ever get married.. but jus nw, i saw a documentary abt a boy whose parents are getting a divorce. they have 2 children n r forcing them to live with either of them. my view is that, why do the parents think solely for themselves? such as wanting the child to be with him/her. do they actually put themselves in the kids' shoes? thinking of the effect the kids have?

haizz

cheryl, director of One Rochester

she appeared on CNA's What Women want ...really.

i dunon who she is/was but i am.. really happy,.. n envious of her post (in company) n way of embracing n enjoying life.

she goes around searching for tasty food. n dun mind queueing up hours for them. she oso comfy in donning an office suit, sittign at roadside, munching away on a packed mealbox. so long as it's tasty n worth her tastebuds. she oso prefers food in their most natural flavour... ie, if the food comes with fats, or anything else unhealthy, n is truly part of how it shld b, she goes for it.

tis is wat i then call "truly enjoy food"

but of cos, if ur health cant handle any food type, it's still a must ot avoid it.. for mi, i've not found it yet :)

forgive n "forget"...

sometimes, to make life easier.. to live, is it better not to be so picky nicky abt stuff?

cos.. in the past, i was introvert n trying to break out of it, cos i knw i need frns n wanna knw more ppl to.. widen my social circle. den in the process, perhaps i was 2 outgoing to a degree tat they feel i kisiao (tis is my view). n.. started not to chap mi so much.

den got this yandao guy.. in my prev module, i was in his same class. i tried to initiate chats wif him. he bo-hiu. den i oso dun care. den in tis new class, i again his classmate. he again bo-hiu mi. but now, asgt is due in 2 wks time. he din do anythign yet. den he suddenly msn mi, saying "wah i finally got time to tok wif u in msn siazz".. but well, i knw his purpsoe... not to merely chat, but mainly to seek my help in java...

is it really better to forgive n "forget" easily?

unforgiveable

i dun think i'm giving myself too much pressure... cos it's supposed to be like tis.

in my new sem wif monash, we have a java prac to do. my scjp is abt 1.. tis prac for version 1.5. the diff is tat, 1.5 has an additional confusing feature in it. Generic type. this 1 is getting my nerves.. perhaps it's not the generic part. it's the asgt reqmt. they r using "generic extends some-obj". and we need to make a class tat uses this ".." line. in my file, i soemtimes really duno if i shld.. use my file's name... oh well,...

interface TrClass ... {}

public class MyClass<...> implements...{}

i'm really .. lost as in which .. class to declare my elements as.. sigh.. due on 29 aug. i'm wondering why do i have trouble understanding it. n kinda.. exasperated by my.. speed.. 1 wk gone, n i'm still at the base level.. i knw tat, personally (or within myself), i'm trying to escape from the asgt cos i really dun have much idea how to proceed.. esp when 1 hr is spent on researching n asking, but practically no progress in my codes. i dun wan b troubled over it, thus.. although i been trying to work on it n wake up early to continue, i always fail to do it.

i hope i can get back on track soon...

haha... but then, a frn of mine, although he's got prog exp in antoher language, but he din touch java for yrs. n now.. he seems to almost finish it in 1 wk... he oni lack some features.. i wonder how he did it.. i'm not sure if i'm jealous/..

force Mast...

Again, i'm.. losing focus.. anyway, since i got another module (biz module) whihc need to hand in on 25th aug, i can jolly well do soem research first, n at same time, relax my mind, hopefully.

ok.. straying to blog.. abt some fantasies again.. (i have many, doncha dink soh??) forgot abt the plc.. i dun wan b so specific. or perhaps.. imagine.. at a basketbal court.. u n 3 frns playing balls. den tired, so u guys ast at the spectator seats, whcih has first n 2nd level. u sitting 2nd lvl, 2 frns beside u, 1 frn on first level. as u guys chat, 1 frn spray or pour water "accidentally" onto u.. den the 2 frns slowly grab hold of ur hands, n quickly immobilise ur arms...

u cant shift ur body anymore. u r caught in btwn, n unable to move. den ur 3rd frn (at 1st level) press down ur legs n sits on them, n ur legs cant move oso.

they den start to tease u.. caress ur body.. n turn u on.. u ask them nt to play, but they ignore u.. den they start to lift up ur shirt.. n u struggle a little. but they carry on. den they lift the shirt over ur head so tat the shirt still on u, but it cant fall down anymore..

they den ticklet ur body n start to advance to ur pte.. u realise something's up n u struggle.. but they overpower u n u remain helpless.. they den rub ur pte, causing a slight erection. they then pull down ur pants to reveal ur undies. they tease ur erecting pte.

finally, they pull dwn ur brief too, showing an erection. they gave it a few hard springing effect wif their fingers n masturbate for u.. wif that erection, they took out their hp n snapped shots of u..

they den.....

lol...

long time no see renfred... wondering why this tiem he's not performing on stage.. if he's, probably can garner some votes for this SOUL band oso.. but anyway, SOUL band, i'm happy they din wear outrageous clothes. din heed the judge's advice to fulfil his evil mind.but 1 thing, although "kai shi dong le" is a natural ballad, i dun see the appeal in them when they sang it. jus like a normal ktv performance, or even like the accapella of juzB. no big deal.

unless it's a must-sing song, they shld have taken those which showcase their appeal more. so wat if their voices touch the judges? oni 1 guy is singing, n it's no diff from singing in ktv. it was a lack lustre peformance in tis part.

then in 2nd round, they finally sang a rock song. phew... they outshone milubing here.. n milubing, i muz say, they really daring n dun mind trying out diff comboz or outperforming 1 another. esp, they decided to make their performance look like mtv.. wif all those actings n drama.. :)

the cute joakim... heard tat he n rahimah (the rock ger) is an item.. good 4 them !!

since when did idols (normal ppl) become commercial items, and have to bare their bodies in promotional shots?? sometimes, if it does not show the good side of them, there can be side effects! i wld have preferred them to dress decently n try to win our hearts with their personalised styles n movements, n gesture. anytime.

enjoyable day!

gosh.. i knw it aint right for moi to do blogging at this time, i'm supposed to do my asgt. but... argh, i dun wanna forget what happened last tiem, and wanted to... SHARE (lol) my day :P

ok.. i'm really rushing for time, so i gonna cut long story short! nice to have a big gang of ppl to lunch wif, n.. the decent cute guy is oso more relaxed wif mi oredi. there was 1 time, i was standing still gazing at nothing. den he came over, asking mi to relax n chill out and shook my shoulder to make mi move.. ahhah.. den i simply softened my body n wriggled to him, as though i collapsing toward him lol... he of cos moved away :D

den ytday, i lunchign wif him.. n after office hrs, he came to tok a lil to mi. den.. the best part came, when i knocking off, i went to look for him, n he gone. den i went home. on my way, saw a blur looking colleague of mine.. tok a lil to him. he look blur, but i dun think his thinking is.. if nt, he cant b system analyst oso.. haha..

den as i reached my busstop, wah, i saw the decent cute guy siazz!! he was standing at the busstop!! hahah... we den started toking, n he was sitting beside mi.. wat a nice feeling! even on mrt, he was standing at the corner, while i standing beside him... woah... tat feeling... OHHOOOHHOOOHH... lol...

sometimes, i can even fantasize him having his hands tied up to a pole above his head in the air n him being topless ahahha.. cool sensation :P

enjoyable day!

jus to fill in my fantasy again..

ever tried getting drunk? yah, lame question. most ppl did.

ahha.. den how abt getting pulled in, or dragged in, by ur frns to a bed, stripping u to nothing... den masturbating u, den let the sperm drop onto ur body as some proof... den putting a GUY (had wanted let it b ger.. but then, where the fun?!) on the bed oso... maybe another drunk guy, who's pretending to b drunk?, den the rest of the ppl sleeping around the bed, on the floor tat is.. den nex morn, when the drunkard wakes, he'll b DAMN surprised to feel sperm on his body, n sleeping wif a guy... he perhaps will wake wif a scare.. n wake everyone up.. everyone... haha...

umm.. bday scare?? lol

am i a character too strong?

from ytday.. i find tat, i'm kinda of someone who can b really nice n kind to frns (i learnt that from my pals though). but if someone step on my toes, they can have a taste of my needles.. i mean, i'll b mean wif them, n careful wif my words.. but i wun aloow my mood to b affected, while i get back at them wif words...

i am reminded of something abt ytday. we wnana go ktv, but he end up dun wan. den after the lib trip, we went to get his car. we heard an oldie being played along the way. i uttered out the title of the oldie. den he... wah liao.. kinda chua teo n almost tripped. haha, i guess he kinda thot i still thinking abt ktv n he's furiously mad n nt comfy lol..

retirement plans

these days, i've been tinking of.. after my career has taken off, wat else shld i do to kill time or even enrich my life. a few items in mind. including travelling overseas, attending class for dancing, self improvement things, n enjoying myself in things i nvr had a chance b4.. due to poor financial control. n oso, volunteering my time for non-profit orgs. SPCA, AFA, sch for delinquents, disabled, and autistic kids. for autistic kids, i feel tat i'm in a better position to help them, cos i've been very autistic b4. and due to my unique way of growing up, i can understand them better.. as in i grew from autistic to knwoing more frns, n being mor eoutgoing. they usually hide their feelings within themselves, cos they dunno how to tok n how to express their inner thots. they expect ppl to understand their feelings. they live in a world of their own, as they dun find ppl who can understand them...

umm... am i too young to plan for retirement age??

my rushing time

i think i need to get used to things.. first, i decided tat n'day i'll b pia'ing (rushing to finish..) my asgt. but end up, i reading asgt info n relaxing.. den thot during lunch, i'll relax n watch Tv. den i watch "She's the man" movie. n forgot abt time. aiyo!! but the movie GOoD!!! the story is loose n drama lah, but the scenes inside r GOOD.. those teen hunks jus show their torso anytime n anywhere they wish. wow.. good for the eyes siazz!! i love it!

n hor... i really cant drink kopi liao.. even homemade 1.. it jus... make my body weak..

supposed to have a full packed day.. including returning home oni next morning.. but 2 bad.. hehe..

went to class today. den hor, when the class ended... wah... i in for surprise... in my prog class, the charming cute boy bring a frn along to it. den they intro her to mi oso. den... so ciao!! today, tat ger came up to mi, asking mi if i wanna buy something. i stunned! i dun rmb who she si. den she reminded mi of where n how we met... lol.. den i rmb her.. i told her i got prob rmb'ing ppl at times..

den she blurted "den i cna oni recog tat lah.." lol.. i jus stunned there... dunno wat to reply.. lol

den... came the uneventful thing.. for the masseur, we supposed to mit 615 to go dine den lib den go his plc enjoy, n go ktv next day. but my class over earlier, so i met him earlier oso. he suggest i go his plc, help him wif computer. i did ask whether by going there means we gonna skip the lib. he say no, lib sure go.

as he fetch mi to his plc, we havign a nice n fun chat. he even caressed mi in his car. den in his plc, i focus on helping his pc. den suddenly, he pull mi to his bed, ask mi lie on him.. i did.. den he initiated things to happen.. i told him to do later.. he insisted to do on the spot n wanna do everything.. but my gosh.. in a mere 10 mins??? sigh... i simply dun wan to satisfy his mere lust. so i made my erection go dwn.

at last, he's sian liao.. n decided to diy. at tat pt, i was oredi preparing to hear him say "aiya, the ktv tmr, dun think i wana go liao.." cos.. somehwo i feel tat he's too honry.. n when things cool down, he wun b so onzz oredi. den true enuff... after diy, his first line "the ktv tmr.. dunno stil lwanan go anot.. tired liao.."

i thnking "wat u expect mi to say??" so i rpelied "ok loh.. den nvm loh.." den went ot bath. during bath, i thot he may b sounding mi out.. so when i retutned to his rm, i ask, "u really dun wan ktv?" he say "see how first loh.. tiring.."

DEN, THE SURPRISE CAME. while we on way to lib in his car, i.. think i ask why he dun wan go.. he changed his line, n said "ktv? urs or mine?? i got agreet o ktv meh?? i dun rmb lei..." WAH,.. power line loih.

i probed furhter "wah, ur memory so bad siazz"
he "got meh? depends loh.. see if u toking abt numbers, names, faces, locations, or happenings"

gosh.. wat can i say..................

den i say "ok loh, nvm loh.. forget it.."
he "u angry ah?"
mi "no lah, wat can i b angry abt? jus get used to it can liao loh.."
den he jus diamzz..
he again "i really dun rmb got ktv lei.."
mi "ok.. mi diff, i treat u as frn, so i rmb wat we mentioned"
he diamzz.

den he got pissed n dun wan tok anymore.. den all the way, i can sense he unhappy liao.. i try strike chats anyways. but he jus nt humourous anymore. he's totally serious n.. on the defensive mode liao. after the lib thing, we chatted a bit on the visit to lib, but somehow he seem to again feel i bringing the ktv topic back.. he totally being emotional n cant think logically/sensibly. n he cant even take jokes anymore.. always on the defensive side. we toking abt the buses oso jammed. den he say nw everywhere jam. i said "no!! mrt no jamm :)" den he say "mrt will nt b jammed, but the commuters will b... "etc.. i jus tell him i trying to crack joke.

den, we circled around the city area for a while, finding a plc to eat. but later he decided to go to neighbourhood area for dinner. along the way, i again try to converse. i forgot wat i saying. but his reply was a ..... oh, i rmb, we were toking abt "sometimes ppl nt considerate at all, jus do watever he wan."
his reply "b4 u say tat, look at urself first to see if u r doing wat u r saying"
i said "yes i doing"
he "tis 1 got a few levels, knowing, understand, doing n upholding it"
i "yes i do them all"

den later, he very unhappy tat the road was jamemd (i doubted the truth in tis line, cos when he fetch mi earlier on, the parking lots oso full, but his attitude was much better). so i ask him, "u forgot wat u said earlier on?"
he "wat?"
mi "abt the 4 levels of preaching"
he "diff ppl got diff style of doing things.. some ppl..."
i jus interrupted "nvm, jus forget it.."

den we totally NVR tok for 1 hr, while he circling around, finding a plc to park. even when we settled down for dinner, waiting for our dishes, we oso din speak a word. i simply bochap oso. but i not pissed at all. my mood was still alright normal. he jsu ask mi how come i dun eat the vege he ordered. i told him "in ur workplc, i said b4 mah, i dun eat vege". den all the way, he jus been commenting on the things around us "tis vege is hot". "the drink is nice". wat can i say...

den seem like, he seem to knw, unless he tok, i nt gonna say anything anymore, when we leaving the plc, he tried to tok.. tis time more casual.. asking how i usually go home from city.. den he offered to send mi to the bus tat can take mi home directly. on way to bus, he try to strike normal chat, so i.. jus play along..

well, not a really eventful day. i was prep to b outside overnite, enjoying a splendid time wif him..

"halo....wishing u happy birthday a day later is very 'me' ok?!"

haha.. ya loh.. so singaporean.. :P

========================

"You're probably paying your family rent for the room, right?"

i'm not sure why u say that. but in asian countries, unless the ties with your family is really so drastic, they will b more than happy to have you live in with them. no rent is given at all. or, if u see a mthly cash contribution to the family as a rent, that's somehow different. but in my case, no rent is given.

however, i had told my mum, i OWN the rm, and dun allow any1 to occupy it without my permission. imagine: someone is in ur hse, and it's inconvenient for you to stay inside it, forcing you to be out. and it's not as though you are on good terms with them, but... sorri to pull him into the picture, but it's ur WL who let the ppl into the hse, due to some personal reason of his. n it's not appropriate for you to chase them out.

==========================

"You also like techno?? :D"

YEP, SHIOK! but my memory stay in the oldies lah.. mei fei se wu, cant fight the moonlight, mariah carey's It's like that.

these pix r REAL COOL!

pic1

pic2
this is the most fantastic! turns me on big time!

pic3

pic4
cool guy!

today, i finally got the time to read BLOGSSS YES!!!

office is my 2nd home

wah.. thes days i been staying in office past 6.15pm.. the official KO time. wah liao.. but well, it's a job tat i enjoying doing.. so i like it! n... yes, it's a demanding job, as in i am FORCED to learn perl but well, learning perl n able to code in it will b my asset n skills if i made it.

boss's pet

funny siazz.z.. today, after lunch, tat decent cute colleague of mine commented tat i am my boss's (female) pet... err.. well, possible for them to think in tis way, cos she really good n helpful to mi, inviting mi to watever discussions tat may b beneficial to mi.

the ppl may feel tat she's extraordinarily good to a new staff, but i'd say i am totally new to such professional dev env so, to keep mi going fast n good, she has to spend more effort in making sure i make the mark. other ppl got deg to boot themselves. i still studying deg siazz.. n she is willing to take mi in wif my highest ever pay.. i'm grateful for tat.. n inside tis company, got a few ppl who i sincerely grateful to, for they indeed helped mi a great deal when i first came in n needed to settle ASAP.

oh, abt the pet thing. she's good to mi. ppl may see in diff light. but i nt bothered. even if it's true, she... took extra care of mi. i jus do my work n perform at my best. tat all i care.

in house seminar

during an in-house seminar, have u ever experienced a situation, where a paper was passed around the participants for attendance marking, and you were already properly seated, not in a fluster or antyhing, and then suddenly, a lady comes up to you, asking if you've signed the attendance list??

lol.. tat happened to mi!! but i simply thank her for the gesture lah..

my dream..

funny.. i seem to have gotten tis dream b4.. n it's odd.. i cant decipher it..

it began wif a herd of cows. suddenly, all the cows are gone, n a mist is coming up. oni got 1 cow remaining. i knw i have to escape wif it. i pointed to it wif 2 fingers, and pulled it (by pointing) with all my might. den its eyes changed color. i continued pulling it. den i saw my dog n some animals by the side trying to resist the mist as well. den.. the mist suddenly went off and... all the cows are back... it felt.. kinda real, tat i trying to save thsoe cows.. n somehow managed to pull oni the only 1 remaining...

finishing my proj..

i still rmb, last wk, mayb on monday, i den started to install a new OS on a computer, for the revamp of the application tat i gonna take over. the deadline for it is set to 1 wk's time. ahah.. so i worked hard to find resources n info... n within a wk n wif help, i managed to get the system up and runnning!!! i was so impressed by myself!! kinda proved my caps siazz!! nw, i am.. like nothing much to do liao.. cos my part is done.. haha

the masseur

wah lioa, not again another anonymous??? u anonymous, den how am i suppose to reply u siazz.............. DUHZzz

gal pal

i went to read up blogs today.. n.. gosh, the gal pal's blog is the longest n losoh 1.. other blogs 3-5 mins done. hers.. 1 hr nt finish yet..

anyway, jus wanan write here... cos she nvr bother to reply my msn, i dun see the pt in commenting on her pg. she was writing abt her probation period. wah liao, somehow i feel she nt gonna take my pt. but nonetheless, probation period is of cos to see if u can b an asset to them, or liability. unless u really prove urself to b genius, finishing a job in days when they expect wks, they usually take their time to confirm ur position. y bother abt whether u r confirmed anot.. jus do ur best n contribute ur skills to the company. the more u think of when u gonna b confirmed, the more time u feel has passed. unless, perhaps u use tactics.. whcih may backfire though..

rendevous for saturday

wah.. come to thik of it, for a LOOOONNNNNNNNGGGGGGG time, i din check out who been visiting my blog...

anyway, the masseur who serviced mi on my bday celeb... hehe... is meeting mi up tis sat... ever since we exchanged contact over the wkend, we been toking to each other over the whole wk... really.. daily chats... toking nonsense n hearing his getting-high voice lol.. toking with words that carry a symbolic meaning, if u hear them carefully hahaha..

all along, been toking those.. topics wif sexual references. for 3 str8 days.. did we tok on sunday? dun think so..

den ytday, was special... we kinda delved into other topic.. n... knew abt each other deeper/more.. all began from mi lol..

we planned to mit on sat evening for a tok by NLB. den our plan is to go n... ya u know.. den when deciding on the venue, he suggested those spas n sauna.. but i told him i dun enjoy going there.. cos it's not my style to go in. den from there, we discussed other things... serious chat.. in a serious (or heavy?) mood. including life's perspectives, religious, lifestyles, n future endeavour (wow, i dinno endearment n endear all mean diff things). we tok abt life exp. and shared our interests. he into oldies, n i oso knw some oldies. we have similar views in life, but both not looking for LTRs anymore.

he oso shared some "thinking articles" wif mi.. hehe.. n strangely.. i dunno which came first.. ktv or venue offer. cos, strangely, at first he say his plc nt convenient n wanna go sauna. den after toking either abt ktv or discussion of views, he is ok to bring mi to his plc =D.. anyway, after tat nite, we will b heading for ktv for oldies.

haha.. wondering if it means i found a new frn, tat started off from sexual interest :)

room being overtaken

aiyo, last night, almost havoc at home siazz...

i KO at 8pm, got home near 9. den to my bad surprise, my bro at home, IN MY ROOM WIF HIS WIFE. WAH LIAO, WAT U EXPECT MI TO DO?? SHOUT AT THEM? NAH.. NOT TO MY ADV. BUT I STIL LWENT IN TO PUT MY THINGS, DEN SHOUTED TO MY MUM TO LEAVE THE RM SO I CAN CHANGE MY CLOTHES. YES, ALL THESE ON PURPOSE. DEN ON HER WAY OUT, I OSO SHOUTED TAT, "MY CLOTHES CANT B FOUND", N WENT TO TAKE NEW CLOTHES FROM CUPBOARD. DEN MY BRO TOLD HER BACK, "HE DIN TOUCH ANY OF MY CLOTHES"

i was thnking "ya rite! she sitting on the bed. her position is where i left my clothes. if she din move, den she is sitting on it!"

but my mum oso din say anything, she jus kept quiet... i think she oso knw wat;s happening loh... tat i si bei (entirely/thoroughly) buay song (pissed/unhappy) tat i got no rm to change my clothes. machaim (almost like) my rm taken over again.

the thing is tat, even though i nt at home, cant they jus do thigns in the living rm? y muz they jus be inside there, n take their own sweet time?? i wonder, how wld he feel, if he's the one who always use the rm, den 1 day, i bring hme couple a frns, n stay inside there. HOW THE HELL WLD HE FEEL?? being taken adv of, or "let it be"???