i saw PSS2 guy.. guess who??

i wore my new specs today.. those weirdly shaped/designed type.. cos i knw i can pull it off lol..

den hor, on my way to work.. wah got those sec sch boys crossing street n staring at mi in bewilderment siazz.. of cos, got those beng kiaz look at mi.. n shy away ahahha..

later as i board mrt, ok.. usually i read papers as i stand inside train. tis time, i din. i jus stood inside as normal commuter. den gradually, a guy of my height in front of mi moved back.. n his arm movement from time to time had his elbow touching mi. i was alright.. den.. as the train got more packed, he moved back more.. end up his left shoulder blade sometimes will press onto my left chest lol.. got mi erected siazz.. (using my fist to press onto my left chest nw.. to feel how it felt..) it feels like chest.. felt nopthing like breast of bra lol.. n this guy din look back to see wat/who he pressing onto hahah..

den u knw... later on, i saw a guy board the train at 1 of the stn.. it's KENNY LIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw him, i cant believe my eyes siazz!!

when he got in, i was staring in shock!! he look jus like on tv/pic!! jus as cute!! n he's wearing earrings!! he came in, den stood properly, wif his back facing mi.. so i was looking at his back all the time.. quite meaty.. dunno whether its fleshy or meaty.. but he looks every bit of him on tv... n he's of my height!!

i was looking at him siazz!! n was thinking, shld i go up n tok to him, or continue to enjoy the moment.. den i felt i shld tok to him... haah...

i moved forward.. patted his shoulder.. he shifted a bit to make way.. i patted again.. he look back..
me "r u kenny"
he "yes.."
me "r u kenny from pss2?"
he (smiling) "yes"...
n we started a casual conversation.. i think a oouple of gers beside us was peeping even..

wow, really cant believe it... tok to him so near siazz!! n see him smiling rite in front of mi!!! wah liao.. if the train not crowded, i will pass him my namecard, so he rmb mi siazz..

ytday, wanna blog abt it liao.. but dozed off while thnking how to resolve a prob for asgt.

got a ... cute boy lah.. but dunno wat's cute abt him.. body, face, smile, or action? we met last yr when i still living in rented plc. met in my room of cos.. has q good time together.. i serviced him.. he jus enjoyed.. does tis happen when he is still in exploration stage? once a while, he den ask for my.. shaven pic.. n i jus send to him.. even include my vid of shaving...

gradually he din contact mi anymore, ehh... hey, i did tok abt him a while ago.. rmb the boy who ask mi find buyers for his tix?? it's him..

den jus ytday, he sms mi.. in morn 9am, asking if i can help him login to frnster, but promise nt to login his acct or read his msg anymore... i replied, "frnster?? ok, but once u change pwd, i cant login liao mah.. but ok, i promise"...

den no reply from him.. til 12+.. my lunch break.. he called mi asking mi help.. dun wan say wat kinda help.. cos i lunch, he say he call mi back later..

den 3+.. he called mi.. tis time, requesting mi help him do soemthing.. he feels it' urgent.. so i tried my very best to help him.. even ask my colleague if they knw of any better way.

after helping him.. i begin to think y he ask mi help.. n judgin from wat he wan mi help in (delete bookmarks to guy frns n make frns' requests to guy frns, i somehwo feel tat he's still in the aj world.. although his frns list a lot still showing gers. he's in camp when he called. he logged in.. maybe a while back, saved his login details into browser.. so he scared ppl will log in n see.

i thinking, he can always call his other frns to help.. but do they knw wat kind of make frns' requessts he got in frnster? he asked mi to help.. m i the oni aj frn he got? somehow he stil seems very closetted...

i m jus glad he ask mi to help loh :) show he still rmb mi.. n din delete my number.. hehehe...

my dream boy

shld i call him my dream boy? every day when i go to work, i see him at the busstop.. dashing, down-2-earth type, not a t-shirt-n-jeans dress code, innocent looking. everyday, when i pass by the busstop, i always keep a lookout for him. if i see him, i feel... heavenly, n satisfied. if i dun, i ask "where is he..."

been seeing him at the busstop for... half a yr i think.. n i think i knw which institution he heading to, from the bus he takes.

for a mth or 2, i somehow din manage to see him at all.. i cna oni guess 2 things:

1) he's graduated

2) he's on IA and wun b there for soem time..

den on wed, he's back again!! n soemhow, when i saw him n his eyes met mine, i seem to sense tat, he knw i'm always "peeping" at him..

pc nerds

are there still pc nerds around?

in the past, at least before y2k, if there are kids who always stick to their computers n live wif it for their lives, they're considered and called "computer nerds", the nerdy group. but wif the uprising of their status, like winning games at national n international competitions and earning their keep by playing n competing in computer games, and making a name for themselves, does this term of fit them??

cos i saw a guy.. a teenager.. wearing a T whcih says "maple story" at the back. i immediately thot: another computer nerd. but i confronted myself.

shld this term still b used on them??

they like computer games, and they earn a living while indulging in their likings. this is the most ideal job for any1, rite? doing something u like, n making a living outta it. they're pursuing their dreams.. they shld b the envy of many..

now, who says, playing computer games has no future.. these folks have proved this statement wrong. even in music (ye, i like playing wif music, playing as in having fun wif it, no formal trg, so i'm not referring to those playing mozart scores), ppl have made a name for themselves, and living a proper live.

the phrase "every dog has its day" is becoming real... lol..

so when's my day coming??!?!

fortune telling

yrs ago, someone read my palm n predicted my.. (near) future.. i duno if tat takes into acct my whole life, or during tat pt of time of predicament.. cos nw, i see a whole new meaning in my life... no longer tat impetuous kid..

ahaha.. went gym today again. long time nvr go siazz.. speaking of the gym, it got 1 steamrm inside. somehow, if i go steamrm in a certain time slot, inside will have 1 ah-peh. tis ahpeh act in a funny way. ppl usually go in wrapped wif towel. he go in in trunks. - i can accept it as his pref. but inside the rm, ok the rm is a square. 1 side is total wall. 1 side has the entrance. other 2 sides got benches for sitting.

tis ahpeh, always stand at the door there, facing bench1, n beside the bench2.. n start doing pushups, stretching n situps. i dunno the reason.. perhaps he wanna sweat it out. but his angle is darn.. funy or suspicious.. i see it as suspicious. at his angle, ppl sitting at bench1 in towels sure expose themselves to his eyes 1. at bench2 oso no diff. esp he's able to every1 sitting at the bench. if inside oni got him, ok, he can do watever he wanna.. but if someone's inside, shldn't he b a bit more normal, n sit at the bench?

a few times, he's inside. i find him suspicious.. but i.. dunno wat to do. i even avoided tat time slot. so qiao, tdy he there again.. in same style. i go in, tell myself, if i cant tahan, i will jus go elsewhere.. true enuff, 1 min later, i went to bathe.. but i wanna go in again.. i waited 15 mins. n went in. kauzz.. he still there. tis time, i sit on bench as usual... but i really discomfy.

den, i simply changed my sitting side, so tat, we r both looking into the same direction. he seem very surprised.. i felt better at tis angle.. n loosened up my towel. at the same time, he got up, n prostrated on the other bench. moments later, he went off...

wah liaozz... i thin i really muz chang emy time slot siazz..

den.. i went to lunch at the usual food stall. haha,, interesting chat there..

i ordered my food.. n abt to pay, when the owner suddenly uttered "treat u to a drink".. i thot he say mi. den i turned around n saw his helper. i poked fun at him, saying i thot he wanna treat mi to drink.. he dunno wat to say.. haha, den, i din see his bro, n asked abt him. jus b4 he answered, his bro suddenly stood in front of mi.. haha, i was stunned siazz!! den i exclaimed to the owner "luckily i din say anything yet". the owner was simply luffing.. n cant even shout my drink order.. oni say it out... ahhaha...

thes days, always been posting either abt my thots, life, or work... cos no time to think of wild stuff siazz... mostly when use pc, either for work or studies.. rarely got time for oneself..

so, it's abt work again..hehe.. ytday, was discussing soemthing wif my upperstudy.. knw wat, she lost to mi, but she wanna.. preserve her dignity, so she came up wif funny reasons to support her stand..

u see, in unix systems, when we copy files wif some param, the new file will always ahve the same info as the old 1, including modified date. my upperstudy say, after copying, append the date of modification to either file, so tat we can keep track of when the file was modified. but lately, i dun see the pt.

since, when we copy the file, even the mod date oso same, y do we need to append the date of mod? the file's mod date is already there. y still need to append it to the name of the file? might as well append the date of copying to the name.

upperstudy den argued "wat if someone modifies THAT file".. i hhahah.. at a loss of words.. but no pt arguing further.. since she is adamnant on her ideas..

den today, another thing.. i understand its her good-willed intentions.. but it was like.. very "i rule the app, i knw wat i'm doing" kinda style.. cos she modified a script tat will clear the system cache, but.. she din realise tat tis clearing of cache, affects debugging siazz..

umm... seems like, i'm gaining more n more knowledge wahhaha..

lol.. is studying better or working?

i prefer studying, if there's no exams to test our knowledge..

I prefer working, cos we apply what we know/understand to make things work our way.

What's exasperating is that, for assignments, when the questions are clear enough, and you need to post questions and wait infinitely for an answer..

premonition

do u call tis premonition? or premonition is supposed to mean visually? umm, i jus check dic, n it simply means:

--------------

pre·mo·ni·tion (prē'mə-nĭsh'ən, prěm'ə-) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A presentiment of the future; a foreboding.
2. A warning in advance; a forewarning.
--------------

ytday, abt .. in the late noon or late evening period, my left eye twitched. i din bother wat it could mean. i even forgot all abt it. den, tat nite, 1 guy call mi up to discuss abt our appt today.

everything was fine, until he mentioned.. or "confessed" tat oni 1 guy wil b there for photoshoot, although he told mi will b 2-3 guys. i was stunned.. but well, i still suggested the time n the attire he shld bring along for the models. den came the unwanted questions:

1) he asked mi wat attire he himself shld bring.. i was again stunned.. i was not prep to do for him yet.. it's meant as a sexy n turn on shots for the models.. n he wanna shoot for him too?

2) i told him we may need to go hotel81 to make some bed shots. den he suddenly asked whether we shld mit in town directly, or he will fetch mi first.. cos his intention was to go hotel first n den go shots.

i was really stunned.. so many new info dropping onto mi like a bomb. n i had asked him to call mi 1 day earlier so we can sort out such things. but he chose to call mi 12 hrs jus b4 we met. and the info is so diff from wat we originally agreed upon.

i was really at a loss of words.. i told him to discuss on msn.. he came online and sent mi 3 msgs in a row. i din reply. cos his 2nd line is oredi "so wat plc u have in mind?"

i was thinking, wah liao, originally was 2-3 models, we can easily find a number of plc to shoot diff images n background. but nw, wif oni 1 model, have to find specific areas tat suit his particular image. n he wan mi think of the plc at tat instance?? den he called mi, asking y i din reply.. he den went on to complain tat he dun enjoy waiting for decisions.. n started to indirectly pin all the blame onto mi..

i think he hit my nail.. i immediately retaliated, leaving little or no room for him to defend. in the end, he said, "alright, i dun disturb u liao".

well, wat can i say... up to him.. so tis morning, i sms him telling him to confirm if he's on tmr (sunday) by today evening 5pm.

i bring tis up, cos my left eye twitched again. tis time, i really think, once again, he'll call mi near bed time.. n i need to prep myself for it..

wahahah... can u imagine?

an old frn of mine, suggested tat i make a vid of myself having sex wif a call boy.. hwahaha... n... in the past i def'ly reject.. but tis time, i gladly accepted it, provided the boy is.. of my requirements..

haha, when it's decided, i pestered my boss lemme take leave tat day.. wah, so much til my boss.. seem to suspect i planning to leave the company.. cos, at the end of 2nd appraisal tat day, she asked if i intend to leave the company when the proj is successful. i think she oso knw she need to specifically state wat she's asking, if nt, i wun get her point of "leaving company, not jus proj/team/department". but i told her i wun leave, unless company ask mi to.. she den said "good, keep it up!".

ok.. back to teh leave thing. i went over to this frn plc, n lok how he set thigns up.. yes.. u may have guessed it.. pin hole cam, air-con, curtains, towels. i prep the condoms n lub myself. we chatted a bit.. hehe, long time nvr meet liao, oso dunno wat to chat..

the boy finally came.. i led him into the room.. i felt so NERVOUS DARN! i knw i wanna do things, but i jus din dare! while he's massaging mi, i even thot of "lick here/there a bit, den jus give him the money". but later on, as i calmed down, i told myself to get my money's worth.. dun b afraid to do wat i wanna do to him.. n kept telling this to myself lol.. i finally relaxed more...

but hor.. soemhow i think i'm getting scheming.. as i progress in age n understand more abt human behaviour.. cos.. for tis boy, i knw the positioning of the cam.. n i wan to capture how his body looks like.. den halfway thru, i got him to stand by the bed. in case he wonder why stand at such angle, i pretended to wanna oral him.. den later i got up n stood behind him.. nw, he's the oni person in the cam.. hahah..

n i am caressing his chest from the back..

surprisingly... when i was jerking him off, he actually shot pretty far.. he himself was stunned n commented "very far".. he oso said he jo the day before oredi.. i think it's cos i blif in mutual enjoyment, not jus "i paid for it, so i have to make sure i enjoy".. but wat's the pt, if u enjoy, butthe other person feels nothing? thus, conclusion: he enjoyed it.

interesting quotes from him:
1) ur tool too big for mi

2) for oral, oso use condom

he's a thai.. i not sure if he's gay anot.. but well.. it seems a fast way to earn quick bucks..

=================

anyway, sometmies it feels so good to have frns not to lie to u.. anythign, be it how they feel towards u, how they intend to do thigns.. unless it will embarass them a lot.. but if its mere human reaction or response, why be shy.. abt it.. oni to b found out later..

another eg of my scheming side:

got a guy who wanna mi take photo for his models (if it supermodel, i def'ly no chance.. so u knwo). when he got to my plc n we discussed the shots, i oredi had in mind, how to manage to touch his body.. at the end of the discussion, i told him i have pictures of a guy who i took photos for, got him to come my hse.. he saw the pix, n wanna take some for himself oso.. den i ask him to lift up his shirt.. he declined, cos he's shy (i say 1, he say his body all fats).. but i told him sooner or later, i still see his body mah..

so he lifted it up.. to reveal stomach.. i was abt to lift up more, den he auto lift up to show his chest.. i turned him to face the light.. den... use my left thumb to touch his nipples, n moved to the right 1.. he instantly moved back n luff it off.. mi too lol..

appraisal for the past yr is here..

did part 1 of 2 appraisal wif my boss and
supervisor. nt sure if this is a good
time to speak up frankly, but i did
take the opportunity to speak frankly
of wat i think of my performance..

it's a review of myself. if i can see
how my person is doing, it means i am
able to improve myself over time and
always trying to improve myself.

but jus b4 part 1 ended, my boss
suddenly ask mi if i have plans to move
on after the proj taken off. i was
quite surprised at tis qn, n i replied
tat if the proj prove to b ok, i'll
gladly move on proudly to other projs.

den.. ytday, she was having a 1-1 chat
wif mi.. for part 2 ie.. somehow i feel tat she's oso
flirting wif mi at the same time.. its
oni the 2 of us in the room, and once
in a while, she'll push mi by my arms
so tat i lean to 1 side. i.. cant
imagine her doing tis to other staff..
n we oso chatted abt feedback, n she
noted tat i'm able to suggest new ways
of doing things. n tat, i am
competent technically, but lacking the
proper chance to prove myself..

oso tok about how i feel abt other
staff. shared my thots of them.
somehow she seems to recognise my
ability to analyse ppl's capabilities.
she even waited for mi to take cab wif
her.

but nt so obvious lah.. cos after part
2, she asked if i going home, as she
was. i said i wil go back about 30
mins later.. she say ok.. but din say
she wait for mi.

den, when my stuff is settled, i
called her desk, but she nt around. i
thot she went off oredi.. den later,
she came to mi again, n i told her
i'll b going back, she den asked mi to
wait a while for her..

hahaha.. so qiao, the cab we took..
the driver is.. of cos uncle.. he was
playing nostalgia numbers by Tsai Chin.

chatted wif him on her old songs.

along the way, my boss still chatted
wif mi abt happenings at work.. she's
either trying to gain ground feedback
or she sees tat i'm able to analyse
ppl's capabilities..

i scored 1 pt @ work

lol.. i'm still in office, but i MUZ blog about it!!

there's a long standing issue abt the display of some data not proper. my upperstudy keep asking mi to chk the script, cos theer shld b a command somewhere which added in an extra tag.

for some tiem already, i've been trying to figure out the codes, thinking why it is not functioning properly. so tiring.. den tis morning, boss called for a meeting. during this meeting, this prob was raised up. i commented it's a display prob, not a function issue. but upperstudy straight away pointed out that it's been logged, so it must be closed.

my supervisor asked wats the prob abt, upperstudy kept iterating it's a script prob. i mentioned it's oni applying to a document, but she claim it applies to a few others oso.. who knows if she's jus trying to prove her pt anot.. sup ask since other docs are ok, why this problem happen to tis doc? upperstudy say there's an additional if-else condition somehwere.

i broke this discussion, saying we better take a look at the script first n decide. they agreed.. den later.. i delayed my lunch to fix the prob.. i really cant figure out wat's wrong wif the code, esp when the code is not written in my language.

i even cried out to my upperstudy for help siazz.. but i decide to give myself 1 more hr to solve. n... hey, there's some difference in the general data!! i was of cos happy!! i highlighted to upperstudy, n she said, chk other documents to see if got such thing... so i took the time to chk...

later on, i asked my sup for updates again, and highlighted to him tat there's a diff in the data. den he immediately told mi to update the data to the way it shld appear...

i did it... n viola!!! it worked!!! the display is back to normal!!!!

WAHAHAHAHA........

lol.. there are ppl reading my blog rite?

can anyone advise mi on how i shld charge?

cos i've accepted a job on taking photos for ppl, but have yet to set a rate.. cos dunno how to ..hobbyist but turning it into sideline/.. all kinds of pix... clothed, prof, sporty, nudity FOR ppl..

replying to comments:

"oei..is that post about me? hte last one..lol..anyway...what's so violent about my txt..my eyes were raped...lol..
whatever will be will be.
love ya!


cheerios,
Lesbo. "

whcih post u mean??

=====================

"hint hint ** it cost only RM0.20 to send a sms to singapore from malaysia, and RM0.50 for a MMS.. thats like 8 cents for a SMS and 23 cents for MMS.. international messaging leii...

ahaha... its cheap anyway.. have fun with those guys there :P lucky u... y i 2 years in singapore never come across such things?

Takashi @ Pluboy"

issit? i dunno hwo much he earning there.. when he was washing my hair in singapore, he say he earn < 1k. over there, dunno hwo much.. i dun wish him to send mi sms often lah.. cos to him, we may nt b tat close, but more to can-tok ppl. i send him sms.. to remind him tat i'm here.. den he wun forget got mi in singapore, n hopefully ask mi out when he comes for holiday =D

1 night, after wokring, i booked a cab. the driver.. was pretty humorous.. n witty.. clicked well wif him.. medium sized guy.. so click tat.. i undid my office attire's sleeves', n shirt's first 2 buttons (not including the top butt).. haha... evening shift... cab no 4010

ren ci charity

today is the charity show. will there be many ppl blogging abt it?

mayb i jus join in the crowd.

after so many yrs of fund raising on tv, although i applaud the purpose, but it's been commercialised so greatly that, it no longer is dependent on viewers' contributions. these days, i'll b surprised if call-in donations meet the target. cos, every1 contributes accordign to the call-in volume printed out the tv screen, but in the end, wif the donations from the riches, orgs n sorts, donations never fail to meet the targets. in this case, y shld we, the low-level living beings, donate our hard-earned money? might as well those mid-income folks donate wat they manage to earn? esp those big orgs.. earn big money, every yr break record in revenue.. such orgs, if they donate 5k each, (it's small case for them!) all charity shows round the yr will break records..

i did not donate tis yr. the call-in volume din meet expections, n even fell short by maybe half. but when the total amt raised was revealed, it still manage to mee the target. so.. wat does it say? i'm actualyl more keen to see the acts that were performed.. look at performers' performance, n see how good the hosts were. it's no longer known to mi as "it's time to donate money to them"..

i'm a BAD egg

bad egg

sigh.. nw i kinda understand why some rapists target their relatives' young.

ytday, all day long, i been running around, buying things for mi n my cute cousin. u knw, i havent had anythign to eat from 10 - 4pm.. had bfast at 9 for my gym. den, during tat 6 hr period, i was famished!

but sometimes, being famished has a reward... or rewards :) while i waiting for a bus, a slightly beng but decent guy waiting at the busstop i went to lol.. yes, my definition for bengs is more descriptive than most ppl.. cos, those tat i like, i fidn them cute or decent. but to others, it's simply BENG (rowdy or attitude-ly appearance).

den later... i bought lunch to my cousin's place to eat. i shared wif them my nugg's meal. haha.. cousin boy is courteous. he knws tat's my lunch, and dun dare touch. cousin ger jus eat. i was later in his room, fixing his comptuer thigns. lol, i actuallly thot we will be alone, but my uncle's there.

i had wanna.. go topless n stay in the room.. n see how he reacts.. nothign sexual, but jus to see how he react.. since uncle around, den it din take place.

but the "bad egg" thot came... during dinner.. my aunt suggested tat since i so close to them, i sometimes can take them to swimming.. den my thinking was:

gosh.. if go swim, den i can see him swimming... lol. n perhaps bath him.. lol.. but i have to ensure tat, nothign happens AT ALL..

===================

oh ya, rmb.. some time back, i mentioned tat my pal visually molested me? lol.. his response to tat is so violent n aggressive tat, he sms'ed mi 3.03am 1 day, his reply. lol... sms siazz.. nt blogging siazz!!

=================

1 more thing

last night, my sis went out at 11+pm. rushign out, rather. she asked mi for extra cash, n hinted tat she needed mi to open door for her when she came back. i told her, i'll slp at abt 2+.

den she went out.. i felt sleepy at 1+.. but made myself stay up to wait for her.. scared tat she dun have keys to come back. n scared she may have some troubles.. but at 2+, she's nt back yet.. so i took a nap.. den 5+, nt back oso.. i decided i'll jus head for bed.

next morn, i woke up to find her at home oredi.

come to think of it, since when have i become so worried for a family member? she shld b more street-wise than mi, but yes, her image for tat night was pretty hot for such night outing. i dun need to worry so much. but to think i even stayed up to wait for her... next morn, i was thinking, if i'm the one going out, even if the person is asleep, i can still give a call to open door.. n there's always the mobile, shld anythign happen.. why shld i stay up so late??

umm... a penny for my thots.

my oz buddy

he's now going thru a decision making stage.. it depends solely on him to come to a decision, and it's ppl around him, ppl who know his nature, his person/character thru years of thick and thin happenings, ppl who knw his situation.. who are able to advise him on how he can arrive at a decision. it's really tough.. even giving him advice, is tuff. our advice can cost his happiness, or provide him a life-long bliss. it's not easy to put my/ourselves in his shoes.

cos the environment is diff, but we knw his situation. and can feel what he's going through. his happiness is in our hands.. especially, when such gay-partnership has not a bond tat ties both parties together...

personal: EXCITED; work: SIANZ

wahhaha... does the topic sound contradicting?

or real clear cut?

well. today morning.. tat is 15 mar morning, i alighted from my train, n walking towards the escalator.. n u knw wat??!?!? yesterday i blogged abt the voluntary guy rite? n today, i saw him as i walked to the escalator!!!!!!!!! wah liao!!!

hehe, his bright coloured top grabbed my attention, den i look at his face... he looks familiar.. i think he noticed my gaze, n looked slightly away to block any cruising radar.. den i realised, he's tat voluntary guy!!!!!!!! very likely!!!!!!! i got so excited (strike toto mood?? lol more like, meeting a celebrity u fancy on the street who u nvr believe u had such luck) tat i almost wanna msg him to ask if he's wearing tat color top. but... i held on to myself... n until i'm stable, waiting for company bus, den i msg him..

yes, he's wearing tat color top!!

he ask mi like "u saw mi?", i replied "r u taking towards tat dir?"

he reply "r u on tat train oso?" i replied "haha, enjoy ur day"..

so interesting!! (umm, yes i knw it's jus nothign n jus something casual.. casual msg.. but well, when u take a liking to someone, n tat someone responds to u, u sure b excited 1 siazz.. dun luff at mi)

we chatted a while more via sms.. n den (oh, he added mi to msn a couple days back) in office, he msn'ed mi oso!!! wah liao.. n we chatted a fair bit.. gave him my bloggie.. n he.. heheh, was deciding if he shld ask for the "erotic pic" series i put on my msn nick... i told him, can send him from home pc oni.. n he oso saw my post abt him siazz.. lol.. although... it seems strange that some thots r better blogged down, than to say out, wat's the diff when he comes to read ur blog?

n he still rmb abt the overdue interview :).. i heard his radio interview b4.. he got a man deep voice.. but a frn told mi, he can reach screeching stage oso when he's totally loose hahaha...

==============

work stuff.. kinda sianz.. cos.. my sup ask mi to work on searching feature. i worked hard on it, n got it up. took 3 days. nex thign i knw, we realised it's not gonna work as some parts need fine tuning. end up, i did additional research into searchign feature.. n i think i need to re-do certain parts.. gosh..

i am VERY HAPPY!!!

I'm really happy.. due to 2 things:

on sunday, .. umm ok.. got tis guy from a voluntary organisation tat spreads awareness on AIDS. i saw his profile somehow n msg him to take care.

n i oso.. volunteered to help out if they need mi. so i emailed him my contact, openly expressed my interest in him. den he replied, wif hints hehe.. dne later, we supposed to mit up for a chat session (to know more abt my interest area for voluntary work). but he din confirm anything. n i jus.. let it pass.

THEN, today, he sms mi!!! sms to inform abt an upcoming event!! i thanked him, n asked y nt sent by email.. he reply, will sms if got no. n apologised for missing out on the appt agreed earlier. lol.. i replied "it's ok" n gave him my msn contact... ya, he haven add mi yet..

den 2nd thing, rmb abt the hair stylist i mentioned?? tat cute boy?? he left salon in dec last yr, but i got his no liao. he's msia.. dunno where he is nw.. shld still b there.

after getting his no, i sms him once. he reply wif greetings.

den.. from timet o time i oso sms him morn greetz. for 3 mths. he nvr respond at all. it's ok lah, cos he's msian, i dunno the sms charge there, mayb 2 ex for overseas send. BUT, today, he sms mi a greet msg oso!!!!!!!!! i felt so excited!!!

sigh.. pining to see him..

again, i fell into the trap of lust...

u knw... today went bfast wif my family... den.. there, at a corner, got a hunky looking guy n tanned soem more selling titbits stuff wif his.. wife i think. wah liao.. i asked my family go there.. n i pick 3 packs of tits, my sis 1 pack... he thanked us for buying.. nw i see how many packs liao, i oso regret lol... LUST,...

some gossips for work..

few days ago, my upperstudy wanna mi find bugs in her program. wan mi to devise a test script to dig bugs out. i thot it's ok, since we wanna make sure everything working fine.

i stayed in office during lunch, to write out the script, but sensing it will take days to devise it, n the priority is to get bugs, i decided to directly check out the bugs. writing the test script takes time to think of the scenarios. n most of the time, scenarios r best thot of, when u do it urself, so tat it can lead to other scenarios.

so i started the bug finding.. BUT while doing it, i ask upperstudy something, n she said "no, tat's nt wat i wan.. if u dun wan... nvm, i write the script myself". den i ask, "u still wan mi find bugs?", she reply "nvm, it's ok, u carry on ur work".

i felt my half hr work wasted siazz.. i decided to save my work..

n, on friday, she requested mi help her find bugs!! saying she dun have time to write script.. haha.. luckily i din delete it!!

gym yesterday

for my gym routine, i din work out for 1 wk.. yesterday, i went again, SO tiring. kept my eyes on 1 guy wif good face n tone body.. i cant detect if he PLU lah. saw him do stretching lol..

n the interesting thing is, at the steamrm, i went in, n found 1 guy oredi inside. i den sat down there n spread open my towel, coverin oni the vital parts. tat guy kept turning around, n i noticed it. after a while, he got up, walked around a bit, n went out.

secs later, he's back... walking ard, n finally sat down.. but he's peeping at mi..

haha.. the room was set to 70 deg, super nice feeling! sweatingall over.. but felt real gd. but i knw i need to cool my body down again.. i went out.. rinsed wif shower, n go back to steam rm. at tis time, the guy jus came out.. he saw mi approaching n gave a 2nd look to mi. a while later, he's in the room again, tis time, really looking at mi. he was almost prepared to come my side...

den, at tis pt of time, another guy came in... n the first guy.. panicked, stayed a while more, n left... lol.. yes, he's crusing mi ;)

===========

usually.. or maybe when i first started gym, swimming n steamrm quite shiok.. can get exciting at times (but no action, ok) .. so when i bathe, i tend to jo liao. den these days, become jus normal process.. i seem to be following the process nw.. i think i shld cut it.. not really need to jo after gym session..

i know i got lotsa thinsg to blog.. but cant remember exactly wat..

umm.. b4 i met up my buddy, i met up wif a group of frns for ktv.. i org 1. got a 2-3 yrs no meet frn, a kiddy frn who likes to sing, a study mate (female), n my.. lost-chemistry pal.

ya, quite rojak in the combo i knw.. but.. oni they reply my sms mah.. i met up the "no meet" frn.. when i first met him yrs back, he was still a simple minded guy. but nw, he's past ns n studying in ntu liao. n he's not tat simple-thinking anymore.. was surprised to see the change in him, physically n facially lol...

but nt bad lah.. the crowd hit off quit alright... no cold scene. n had lotsa fun in ktv room.. n we even reached climax during some parts siazz... for mi, i challenged myself to a high pitch song, the rock ver of "1 nite in beijing". the falsetto part is said to kill many voices, meaning, it usually is th last song of the day. but for mi, it's a song to test my vocal range. i can reach pretty high lol.. but scream is not my forte.. umm Mariah carey's trademark "whale calling".. i somehow can manage 2... power huh?

din not have so much fun for long timeliao.. when i went wif my gal-pal mentioned above (tat no-chem 1) long time back, we were more to singing n chatting, n the fun was between us.. nw tat more ppl join, more fun in the making!!

===========

gosh... i jus watched a SEVERE sm vid.. it's really.. oh-my-gawd.. i oni into slight sm.. taking advantage of ppl when they're helpless... but this vid is much more.. wah liao... if the model is not good looking, i wun get it siazz.. i like the first few scenes.. but pity the model siazz... i can feel his pain.. sigh, as i watched ,i even thot: if i knw a frn is gonna do these, i'd rather buy back his dignity for him, instead of him losing it for that money..

a quote from IMDB about Jennifer Hudson..

"In a recent interview, I was asked how I reconciled being a Christian with performing at events for my gay fans. I find it upsetting that some folks equate being a Christian with being intolerant of gay people. That may, unfortunately, be true for some, but it is not true for me. I have talked often of my love and support of the gay community. I have said again and again that it was the gay community that supported me long before and long after American Idol, and kept me working and motivated. It is the gay community that celebrated my voice and my size and my personality long before Dreamgirls. Yes, I was raised Baptist. Yes, I was taught that the Bible has certain views on homosexuality. The Bible also teaches us not to judge. It teaches us to love one another as God loves us all. I love my sister, my two best friends and my director dearly. They happen to be gay. So what? While some search for controversy, I hope that my friends and fans who know me, know where I stand."

call mi stupid or anything./..

watching a recorded ep of "firefly's dream". a guy was caught red-handed, cheating on a schger. she returned home, n broke down. her mum tried consoling her.

it reminds mi of my past... not sure if i blogged abt it. a guy mesmerised mi. we went out for a wk. after tat, we broke up. i went home n stared into blank. my mum, den said, if u got any prob, jus say out.. dun keep inside.. it's really touching..

but then, if parents are more open minded, i could really have told her abt my probs.. instead of relying on myself, n attempting suicide..

actually, i oso wonder, if i din commit suicide, cos i'm scaredy, or i sudenly din feel the worth to die, or something spiritual was pulling mi back.. i dunno.. cos until nw, i duno wat stopped mi. i oni rmb, i wanna jump onto the road just as a car is approaching. but suddenly, a voice in my head shouted, "NO! i dun want to die!"...

==========

anyway, that was the past. in the ep, oso got a scene.. a beng jus finished his shower and walked out in his pants oni. haah... the funny thing is, i din feel like snapping him. not no body or too fat, but jus din feel anything for him.. not beng looking enuff? hehe.. maybe..

had a wonderful session of catching up wif my old time frn... hwahah.. old time..

it's really enjoyable man!! we mit once a while, exchange our ideas n wits.. really enjoyable... good buddy :)

n ppl.. who have a rounded figure really look much better after they slim down.. nah, not toking abt my buddy.. other than his slimmer waist, every bit of him did not change. physically.

i am toking abt his kid bro. dun worry, no interest in him.. or.. not yet? :P anyway, his bro looks better after his jogging regime. slimmed down n looks of a better size. not a big size person anymore. oh.. watching how they bicker really envies urs truly.. my buddy keep putting his kid down, n the poor kid had to fend for himself.

n now den i realise how loud some locally produced Ts can b!! ahah, it's really for the kids born after the 90s! daring to say wat's on ur mind, daring to challenge, n daring to b wat u r, and daring to project an image thats truly u..

i thot "miso honi", "jus say no to (ass) crack", and "you know you want it" are very loud.. gosh, dinno there were "everyone loves an asian boy" "dun tell mi u know my boss" "mensuck" "pls tell ur pants it is not polite to point".. i had a good luff man!

===============

luckily, i took leave on the next day.. so tat no need to work so hard.. n true enuff, i got a sore throat lol.. from excess drinking (i din get drunk though, jus tipsy).. i dun think junk food got me down. i had 2 glasses of vodka lemonade n 1 hoe-garden beer.. whooooahh...burning...

haha.. after drinking a bit, i even felt my nipples erecting siazz.. so darn honry.

n now, i'm home.. doing some work.. my leave is just to let mi take a break, as i knw i surely go crazy last night.. n the hell i did.. hwaaha... i was even visually molested by my buddy... sobzz...

hahaha... when i was tryin some new tops, i signalled which rm i was in, so tat he can find mi. the room is covered only by a curtain. n knw wat, he came over, pull the curtain! wahaha... n said "wat a turn off".. i responded "i dun have to turn u on".

hahah... do gays really have a standard dress code?

it seems like, gays r more inclined to wearing singlets when they have trained their muscles well.. to attract eyes... n whenver guys wif broad shoulders appear in singlets, it's high chance they r..

umm.. continuing ytday's blog about the outing.. it was really a good meet up. received a piece of.. i'll strongly recommend it as good news... but it's hurting to a person... (flashback...)

2 yrs ago, i was living in a rented room.. wif my date, of that time. he felt tat, there's insecurity of being a date, instead of a bf, so he left for another guy. i'm alright wif it. i oso knw tat new bf. the whole group of us even went out together.. but soon, they broke up..

all the while, he's not been sharing the rent wif mi.. when i asked him to share the load, he gave an excuse: his shared account wif his grandma was closed down by her, n he dun have money anymore, so he cant pay. i trusted tat his words are the truth.

i was stupid. i actually did not see thru his lies, and believed tat he has no more money. later, alli know is that, he rented the other room, to live wif a new bf. i dunno how he managed to pay the rent for the room. haha, it's any1's guess. *wink*.

ever since he lived wif this new bf, his life seems to have gotten better. even when i left the place, they re still together..

who knows, 2 yrs later, when i met the frn i mentioned in ytday's blog, haha, he let out a clue, by asking mi exactly wat i thot of this person. it's been 2 yrs, since i last mentioned his name. it took mi some time to rmb wat exactly to say.. but i really... dun have much idea wat to say..

Bad? he's not entirely a bad egg

good? nah, he dun fit the bill, not even a percent.

i can oni comment, he's not a good person.

den... this frn told mi news of this person.

wks back, this frn's pal, took his new bf to meet their group. n.. as fate had it, this new bf turned out to be this.. fateful person who had lived wif mi. and, as heaven would make fun of any1 it likes (to punish), this new bf, saw my frn, n "did not recognise" my frn, and introduced himself as "an animal who has DEEEEEP eyebag" whahaha... i hear liao oso... felt exhilerating! almost every1 in the present, other than the pal, knew him in the past, but had see this person as a newly-met guy?! lol...

n, wat's the more luffable part is, or the part whcih calls for a round of applause, is they broke up a VERY short while later! due to a heated arg. i.. feel bad towards the pal, but felt it's kinda well-deserved for that person. can i say its retribution?

i duno wat happened between them.. but i just felt this person jus likes to use his first-time charm to trick kids.. kids who dunno how to think clearly once they kena a misfire by dear cupid. n once the kids are taken in by him, they are his prey as money spinners. spinners who dun mind tiding him over for the period. cos, love is still blind.

as for his "having a new identity", i have oni this in response:
he can't face up to his past, and want to have a new lease of life. but every part of life has its history. if he's unable to face up to history, it's time for him to figure out why he dare not face up to it. did soemthign wrong? did soemthign bad? against his conscience?

being born wif a handsome face is good. but it's not enuff. it gives ppl the first good impression. after tat, u gotta have the character and persnality, and depth within youself to carry on the good impression, or to leave a better impression. if u dun learn ur ways, it takes good karma (ahah, why am i using this term?) to carry on ur good life. or risk losing it...

everyone has their own designated path to take. hope tat his.. wil lead to a good ... i mean, hope his path wil get better..

havign said these, i still can't forgive him for wat he did. i'm usually very soft hearted (any1 disagree?). it takes really a heavy blow to make my heart root its stand.

==========================

den about the movie dreamgirl.. the storyline.. can say is boring.. but it has the good sides n truth in it... to mi, of cos. as it shows how a pop group can break up due to commercial interests, and how the lead singer can be a mere good looker, but not necessarily the better singer among them. see, i din mentioned "best singer"... ehh, nvm.. dunno wat i trying to imply.. or rather how i shld imply..

in the movie, jennifer is the best n most devoted singer in the group. her voice is her talent n is inborne. but she has to be replaced by her team mate who has the looks. singing-wise, ok lah, but jenn is still the winner. i admire her "i knwo my talents n i knw where i stand in the group, n how far i shld be able to move on" knowledge.

n true enuff, when she was ostracised by her team, she was not cool enuff and blurted some hurtful words. but it's not her fault. she had been had.

in the end, she left the group, and left a poor life, but it's a dignity'ed life. when she finally found the person who willingly stage her comeback, she realsied she was wrong in the past n was willing to change. i felt her voice, and felt it inside mi.. whenever she sings, every little punch n vibration n note reaches deep inside mi...

when i saw that, her song, popular in her town, was remixed n released as a popular national song, i saw how injustice was done to the original singer. however, i blif in thes days, the original singers were paid a tribute sum? to recognise their effort...

it seems to be just my story... being so much in love wif singing. but i've no confidence in myself. n she's so emotionally charged whenver she sings... i admire tat...

i'm thinking of getting it's vcd... or maybe ost..

n ya, i dinno she's USA idol dropout. i was surprised tat, someone wif her voice is acting. n during the credit rolling, i thot i missed her part, at teh start, ... den i realised she was specially intro'ed... "And introducing .... Jennifer Hudson"..

cool... hope she can make it this time to the music scene.. a good voice... still needs good songs to accompany it... :)

i just took soem new pic.. haha.. find the link under the right side... my private links..

by rite, tonight shld b a happening evening... but.. i came home, emotionally disturbed/upset..

i met a frn... who i knw 2 years back... when i was still living in the rented room. tis frn, took good care of mi and is there when i need him.. when i knew him, i knew another person at the same time. both ppl were interested in me.. but tat time i oni found the other guy attractive.. this other guy.. was also intersted in mi and we chatted quite a fair bit..

my frn also called mi on the hp, n chatting wif mi.. i asked, if i can select the other guy first, n if not good, i go to him... haha, yes it's a stupid n non-sensical question... that was mi...

in the end, i broke up wif the other guy in 1 month (the usual duration).

2 yrs later, today, i meet up this frn.. n he's still very good to mi (i cant help but sob... at the thot of this... it's life? due to my stupidity, or insolence... i dun recognise his kindness me back then.. and all the love around mi... i treated them as granted.. as many ppl are very good to mi.. i din really treasure them, n took it as granted.. thinking back, he even gave mi all his contact numbers, so tat i can contact him anytime i wan... n i din recognise it as his effort to know mi better, oni know that it's more ways to contact him.. and there is no "i din get ur sms" excuse..) continuing... he's very good to mi still. .at the movies, there's oni a couple of shows whose timings suit us.. he commented tat protege's vcd will come out very soon. n not much movie to watch..

i said, i wanna watch.. cos long time nvr watch movie in cinema liao.. so he recommended Dreamgirl.. n the movie.. is kinda hot.. when we buy the tix, it's already left oni the row nearest to the screen.. he know why i wanna watch, so he's ok wif it...

during the show, it's not interesting... but he din complain at all.. he stayed thru'out... after the show, we had supper.. his treat.. n he's the one who was hungry.. yet he gave half of the food to mi.. a real nice guy... too bad... in the past, i din make the right choice...

however, even if i did, will it last? my attitude towards life at tat time was, it's oni natural that you r good to mi.. it's not a good way to sustain a reln..

i was really touched by wat he did during the supper.. i was even abt to weep...

during the supper, we chatted abt a frn who was supposed to join us later.. i told him.. tat frn said he was a loner.. but after meeting him, he turned out to be a chatter.. den my frn advised mi, watever ppl say, dun blif totally.. it's just how they wan themselves to appear to ppl.. i have to agree.. cos later, this late comer, he told mi he's on the way, n stayed their for about 15 mins n left. reason: cough... but he took medicine earlier on, thus he was not coughing.. he's going home to rest.

but when he left, i saw him taking out his hp.. n... left.. my frn thus said, he dun look like a sick person..

...........

nevertheless, life has to go on.. i'll treasure his frnship... and every frn tat i know...

barbarian dress

Fwd: barbarian dress
Originally uploaded by luv_ktv.

the top guy is a joker l;ah... a comedic TV artiste...

the bottom guy.. supposed to be idolistic artiste.. meaning, they cant have too much exposure of their skin to maintain that youthful n innocent feel.. but he was tricked to show his chest lol..

trapped

trapped, originally uploaded by luv_ktv.

hopefully this post of pic turns out good...

umm.. long time since i took the pic.. i like the way the guy is unconscious and lying in the capsule... looks so vulnerable!!!

what do you do when a cute cousin of yours is together with you in your room?

the answer...

Nothing. Just make sure he's comfortable in your room and company.

lol.. tis is wat's happening to me.. my cousin (more than a decade younger than urs truly) is cute, and adorable.. he's in my room. watching a tv program. of cos i had thot of teasing him.. but.. i've seen on tv, how such acts suffer consequences later. i dun wan the same thing to happen to mi.. haha.. imagine... a cousin who's the age of an uncle to him in the same room as him.. i'm bad, yes.

but.. i think, for myself, the little exposure to social outing and gathering has affected mi. cos today, my same-age cousin came over.. den i dunno wat to do how to react. jus pacing up n down my house. finally, when things r more settled, i asked this same-age cousin to sit nearer for a chat..

n.. i duno whether this is a realistic n okay thinking or not.. i intend to.. every yr, go for a holiday somewhere.. for a period.. maybe a week? den every cny, i'll use a new cologne.. n.. perhaps when i reach 30, i'll voluntarily give out red packets to relatives' kids... hehe...

on the first night of CNY, i finally got some time to blog.. umm.. pix wise.. duno yet..

frns

a lot of acquaintances n frns n pals made mi into wat i am today.. n nw i truly knw wat tis means. so, i'll treasure most of the frnship i have.. n oso had. most, cos some 'ships are passers-by. they are not meant to be long term. some r jus hi-bye type..

a new direction for life

since i joined my company last jul (2006 ie), i've not been going out wif my frns at all.. be it local, or frns who came over. the last time i went out on a weekday.. was during my bday.. or perhaps tat was the most enjoyable time out wif some frns/pals to enjoy the time. after tat, i nvr had time to enjoy this luxury, yes luxury, again.

everyday is abt work n studies n exams. for the whole period. from jul or aug till now. everyday, nonstop. even on wkends, i can't help stop thinking abt how else i can bettter prepare myself for the next (working) day. no life. no movie. no calling frns up for catching up.

no life, cos i nvr go out.. always stay home to prepare myself work.. i knw i was bogged down by studies n work, so i feel it's better to take time to read up work stuff..

no movie.. i forgot when did i last watch movie in cinema siazz.. unless i go back to my "loner" lifestyle.. watching is the same as the next line..

no catching up wif frns... sighzz.. u knw.. i can't even confirm wat time i can leave ofice.. ie i dunno if i can leave office on time, or have to work late due to surprises.. somtimes, we doing soemthign, which i intend to carry on next day. den my upperstudy will say "tis needs to be done tdy"..

tat y i din realy dare to make any arrangement.. until now, i feel as though i'm living in solitude.. for half a yr, nvr ask frns out.. luckily during xmas n ny, a pal invited mi to his parties.. if not, very likely, i spend these 2 days alone at home.. haha.. watching TV.. cos i tried asking other frns join, but they all got plans liao.. even my poly frns..

a new direction for life

n perhaps it's cos i've been living in solitude for half a yr, trying to contact back my frns has proved to be tedious.. i admit tat, since i din tok to them or ask them out for long time, it's alright for them to, not prioritise my outing wif them.. so i can oni keep trying..

at the same time, i wonder if it's a sign for tell mi, i shld move on, n make new frns... well, true, every1 shld make new frns at every opportunity.. even on frnster updates, i can see ppl adding new frns all so often.. but mine, jus S I L E N C E... but as i mentioned earlier, i haven got time to go out at all.. perhaps.. it's a sign for mi to move on, make new frns, have a new lease of life.

easier said than done. if i wan make new frns, i need to either join new outings (gay or not no issue), ask my frns out, join those outings planned by my office frns.. this is the mafan part.. cos joining those outings, mean i cant b my true self.. which means i have to act a bit.. sianzz.. n each of these r.. hard to start.. but i knw i still have to do it..

love / frns

after a long 26 years of living, experimenting, experiencing, thinking, i somehow have come to a conclusion abt myself.. about differenting and separating love n frns.. as a gay, sex is often the priority when we see attractive guys.. personally, as someone who has the looks n body size (fig shall not be mentioned here lol) to attract many ppl, i have to find a way to balance between seeking sex (wif ppl), fulfilling my strong sexual urge, n knowing new frns.. cos if new frns are gay, it's very likely to.. have mutual atrraction.. esp when i've not been going out for a long time. any guy who dresses up n look decent will catch my eye(s). i have to control myself... n i've strong sex urges.. i dun wan to prostitute myself.. like in the past.. i duno how i gonna fulfil them nw, but i will not wanna pro myself anymore.. probably go some... massage n.. relax there? dunno.. or get some call boys?? lol..

n now, i'm more inclined to having frns.. maybe i duno how to.. choose whether a person shld b frn or ons.. but if given a choice, i wil need to learn who shld b frn, who shld b ons guy...

malay movie

i was watching a malay movie from suria jus now..:

***********************

Sepet (Movie)
19-year old Ah Loong is in charge of a stall selling pirated vcds. Contrary to what you might expect someone of his social standing to be, Ah Loong is an incurable romantic with an unlikely hobby - he loves to read and write poetry. Quite content to carry on being the Romeo of the slums, Ah Loong's life takes a sudden turn one day when a 16-year old Malay schoolgirl arrives at his stall in search of Wong Kar-Wai's films.

***********************

i missed the first 18 mins of the show. when i saw it while channel surfing, i oni saw a beng guy doing renovation for a house wif his frns. he was topless when confronted by gangsters... i like him.. n watched on.. den it turned out to be a movie.. i went to suria n read the synopsis.. quite interesting ahha.. n watched on. quite a classical young couple love story.. i never experienced it. but it's quite a sweet feeling.. i wonder y i never had it.. i admit i was stubborn, ignorant, unappreciative, n slow.. but.. i never had anyone nice enough to guide me along.. to tell mi more about life.. or was i 2 slow to even realise it?.. anyway, the sweet feel is real nice..

den towards the end, the guy did something wrong, n the ger din realise the guy had been repenting only in the last 5 mins of the show. the guy was rushign over in his bike to ask the ger not to leave country. the ger den was reading a letter by him. 1 can see tat the guy is really trying hard to make her return..

at tis point, i thot of my last ex... the koala bear.. lol.. is the shadow still dragging my feet? haha... i tried to make a u-turn of the situation, but it din help.. destiny?

anyway, just hope tat tis yr onwards will be my.. "end of bad luck"...

sleep.

is a ger's 6th sense really very accurate?

cos, at my office, got 1 beng guy who's quite cute.. he's got a gf.. n to mi, the ger is jus "his gf" or "someone who works in the company".

den, got 1 time, on work day, the gf n mi were on the bus for lunch. she passed by mi. but i was jus doing nothing, so din wave at her.. she maybe took note of mi, but din do anything.

den next day, while waiting for bus, mi n the cute beng wre chatting away. my eyes were on her somehow. den i saw her eyes giving mi tat "bochap" look.

n today, after lunch, we were buying something. the guy asked how come i buy the wrapped cracker (gua zi), and for eating in office? i said yes, den he a bit surprised.. den chatted a bit wif him.. the ger den said, ppl like it wat.. why care so much?

den i felt as though we/i ignoring her siazz.. n she was originally walking beside her. den she just walked faster n left us alone siazz...

did she detect something amiss??

lol.. i mentioned before.. tat ppl learn only thru mistakes n experience..

i watched "turn left, turn right" 2nd time. somehow, the first time i watch it, it's a movie tat talks about how fate plays around with 2 persons' lives. n how coincidence plays a part in life..

today, is 2nd time. the feeling is diff.. it's about how unfortunate the folks are.. how their lives r twisted by fate. how they feel, n how i'll react if it happens to me. i really feel it..

somehow, for mi, my luck wif romance seems to have ended... i gladly accept my fate.. it made mi realise how impt frnship is.. how fragile relns are.. it made mi realise how long r frnship compared to anything else.. n y we shld treasure every frn we make, cos everythign tat happens in our life has a meaning n a purpose. every lil experience, no matter how insignificant or pointless it is, always teach us somethign. it depends on whether we r willing to see wat we can learn from it..

n.. today, interesting things happen oso... luckily, i overcame my fears n went for my plans.. :)

cool... friday was quite a happy day for mi at work... real happy :)

n.. watched another series of videos.. or shld i say, a video that has many short stories?? hehe...

n now, i have another story in mind.. umm... how many have i thot of so far??? how to keep track??

the story goes:

a policeman is patrolling the streets. the street appeared quite ok, normal. then, a guy suddenly runs up to him, tells him of a fight in the lane.. and rushes him to go over to stop the fight. the police den runs with the guy to the scene.

upon reaching an alley, the police only see 3 guys sitting, chatting n smoking away. and they start walking up to him. the police tries to (i dunno how a police normally react.. i anyhow say) warn them to stop.. they dun care.. they walked faster...

the police den starts to retreat.. the guys now run up to him n grab him, n lock his arms n legs... seeing that he can't retaliate... they drag him to a corner... whahaha...

bad mi hor?

hello chris... thanks for ur kind words :)

this scenario makes mi wonder... am i having (too) high expectations of myself? ie, i wan to make everythign perfect.. when things go awry, i feel bad.. or.. could it be caused by "i wanna meet my boss' expectations" mindset? 'cos i mentioned b4, during my confession to her, she told mi, she wanted mi to surpass wat my upperstudy cna do.. but i failed.. yes, i can improve n better the present me, but.. jus felt bad tat i cause them/her to worry abt such thigns..

wah... my first time siazz!! dun think wayward!!

sunday morning, during cny period, my house almost kena burglar-ed siaz!! about 8+ morning, while i still sleeping, i heard the doorbell pressed 3 times.. i thot the usual newspaper vendor came for payment.. n wld leave if no response. so i din bother waking up, as usually mum wld open the door n entertain them. but mum was out for work.

but no loh!!! after no response, i dozed off, n later i heard the doorbell again!! tis tiem, i suspect something is wrong n got up.. i silently left my room n went to see if any1 is still at the void deck. true.. got someone leaning at the corridor. my sis oso came out from her room, n told mi wat happened.. she oso noticed tat the person kept presing the bell. she wondered if the person is an unwelcomed relative of ours, thus she din have further action.

so i monitored him, until he pressed the bell again.. he's a stranger! n wat's more, he even tried to open the main door siazz!!! u knw, conventional flats got the gate, n the door.. gate is locked (phew!) n luckily the main door oso locked!! so his attempts to open door was futile. but he tried opening not jus once, but a few times loh!! so brave! when his identity is confirmed to be stranger, i wanna call the police (my first response lol), but sis said to open door n ask wat he wan.

so i opened door n he said he's there to repair pc.. n i told him we nvr called anyone. he den started looking into our hse.. n said he was here yesterday n was talking to the boss. but i asked him for the name, n he cant give oso. later he even asked for the floor siazz!! when he knw he cant get anything, he left..

we den decided to call police.. nw.. tis is the SAD part...

cos later when police came, i opened the door, the 2 male police saw mi, n greeted mi.. 1 sec later, they saw mi sis, n started asking her instead.. wahhhhh, i really look so kiddy to them meh?!??!? anyway, none r good lookers, so forget abt them..

haha.. later, i started to think back... the burglar mentioned he repair pc.. let's say, if i skilled in taekwondo or karate, n the burglar loooks good, i may jus invite him in... the story follows:

he say he repair pc.. so i let him in. when he's in, but din act yet, i'll look the door first. if he threatens, i'll kick him aside n lock the door. after locking...

scene 1: he dun act yet.
i invite him in n lead him to a room, but he suddenly bring out his knife, den i subdue him n say, "i'm a karate expert, u think u can win mi? i let u in, cos u r cute. nothign here need repair". he surely stunned.. but too bad, no way leave the plc.. den i force him to strip n have fun lol...

scene 2: he threatens mi.
i invite him in, but before i lock the door, he pulls out his knife. so i push/kick him away locks the door n repeat the line above..

wahahaha...

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ok, forget abt the kinky stuff. discussed wif my sis, n realised a few lessons to be learnt:
1) the person is nt smart enuff to say he repair pc. cos we can easily call to chk.
2) we shld always call the authorities to verify his identity. wat's more, he came up without any prior apptmt.
3) when we checking him out, the door shld nt open entirely. shld b ajar...

haha, maybe i was not awake enuff siazz

have i not had the luxury of bloggin for a long time, tat's y i got mucho to tell??

anyway, jus watched some shows, proper n improper, n had this thot:
if a crime suspect is being interrogated in a room, and he simply wun confess, will there be someone who asks all other ppl to leave the rm, leaving the main policeman n the suspect alone in the room? the suspect is handcuffed, to the chair, n the police starts to strip him..

if this is not exciting enuff...

in the room of 3 police n 1 suspect, the room is locked. seeing tat the suspect wun confess, they grabbed him off his seat n pushes him to the wall, n ties his arm to both sides of the wall, so tat his arms r wide spread. they den start teasing his body. he retaliates by trying to kick them away. but they grabbed n held on to his legs whle they are in mid air n spread his legs apart as well. n gagged him.

they caressed his legs from sole to kneecap, he den struggled wif his legs. they den used the baton to lightly bump his groin area n shove his testes area. n used it to circle round his chest. he was unzipped n the pte area was "waking up". they continued teasing it wif the baton.

then they tied his legs to the ground, in a spread eagle manner. they den began to lift up his top n caressed his body.. n pulled down his pants...

hahahah.. carry on the fantasy from there!!

as mentioned earlier, i din feel like going gym.. as i bought my lunch, i suddenly thot of wat's happening to my life.. i'm really confused.. or kinda confused.. (it really takes courage to review on urself) in the past, when i applied for jobs, i stated tat my dream is to develop a program that is user frnly n without hiccups.. now, i did.. but just tat, my thinking is not the same as the sup's, so need to change.. i guess i need to get used to it..

another thing is, batch files.. i have not much exp wif it.. but managed to develop a nice file within 1 wk.. i'm impressed.. unfortunately, the boss saw some loop holes in it. i really din expect negative side to take place.. but yes, she alerted mi tat, i shld prepare for it to happen.. tis is perhaps wat we call, QA.. we shld not expect things to flow smoothly n shld b prepared for unexpected scenarios...

n.. tis is causing mi the confusion.. i'm havign conflicts:
1) i wan to produce an almost-flawless.. or rather, flawless system within my scope.
2) i feel disappointed when errors are found
3) i feel great when i manage to resolve errors
4) i become lazy or.. despair when my program meet problem.
5) i want my program to be flawless, but at times, i simply give myself a "never mind, it's alright" response.
6) somehow i feel i'm getting too used to a comfy 9-6 job, n simply wana leave when tiem is up.. or maybe.. cos many ppl r leaving on time, i find it quite odd tat i stayed late.. although i knw i have to finish wat's expected of mi..

sighzzz...

am i tired out?

i dunno... jus tat these days, i'm again living in solitude.. haha.. when i'm stressed or too occupied with something, i tend to just "forget abt asking frns out.." cos... stress?

but this time, i knw why.. 'cos we sometimes have to rush production on our side.. n i dunno when i cna make it, when i cant. i mentioned that, i helped a nsf pay off his "debts".. tat's a gd example too. cos tat day, my upperstudy (toking abt her.. maybe she really stressed out tis time.. i managed to rmb things she din haha) n i were checking some stuff.. i thot i will finish soon.. but end up working longer... ya, i knw it's expected.. tat y i dunno when i am really free..

and... sigh, ytday, i was so happy tat i had nothing much left to do.. den suddenly my sup came over n said, he wanna change some logic in the program... den later, my boss came over to tok abt other issues, she n i realised tat, the logic can be further improved... i felt i let her down.. n since tat moment, my mind is totally blank.. i dunno if i too tired, stressed out, stunned, or wat.. i really duno wat happened... until tis mornign, i din even feel like going gym..

somehow ,its like "a wk seems to end perfectly, but some hiccups happened.."

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thsee days, i seem to be losing my thinking edge... i dun mean those thinking n planning type... but at least to thnk further at a more matured level.. i duno how to put it, but i cant seem to read what other ppl are doing.. or guess their thoughts.. am i 2 stressed out? umm, maybe i mean, i seem to only do wat is required, not wat can b done further..

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anyway, i was toking abt a movie.. an anime.. which touched my heart.. i din catch thef irst part, cos it was not my intention to watch anime.. the summary as follows:

a (7-8 yo) ger's parents were kidnapped to a magical world, and transformed into pigs in a farm. the ger went into the world as well n tried her best to be employed by the employer of the place. she was den assigned to help out in the bathtub. during her stay there, she made a couple of frns.. n all these were unique in their own ways. 1 lady even thot for her own future. she oso got to know a guy who.. she met before.

thru her innocence n kindness, she managed to give a new lease of life to almost everyone she met. in the end, she managed to do a good deed and the employer decided to give her a chance to save her parents. she needs to find her parents, who have turned into pigs, among the whole... herd of pigs.

n.. ya she did it.. n she is allowed to leave the place wif her parents.. before leaving, she asked if the guy is leaving oso.. the guy says, since they met before, they surely would meet again.. n off she went... back to her world.. the movie ended wif a happy tuned folk music... somehow it struck a chord in me..

in the past few days, wks, or even mths, my life is all about work, n doing things to make sure i dun fall behind schedule... been half a yr.

den these days, maybe i did things really fast n have some self demand to fulfill, i finished off some duties quite fast.. n nw, not much things left for mi to rush... it feel so odd.. suddenly, a "i muz do tis/tat to catch up" line is not tat pushing anymore..

why do humans always learn/improve only after a painful lesson?

i used to have only a no-human feeling attitude... i din care abt PR.. everything is simply based on "it's ur job, ur duty". den after a painful lesson, i learn tat i dun have to be so serious.. n can learn to relax myself n.. n emotional at times... jus nw, renfred got a weeping scene... i saw it... i ask him not to weep (my heart felt words) n i ended up almost weeping as well...

n... i watched a touching movie some time back on ch U. it's a cartoon. 千寻与千雪, or rather anime.. pretty long story... i'll tok abt it next time..

am i a lil perverted? or it shld be considered NATURAL??

cos... hahaha... on mondays, my company has a box-ercising instructor coming in to guide ppl on this exercise. i missed it for 2 wks liao. den.. last wk, i managed to join. the instructor is those gym guys.. or man.. hahah.. good muscles nice arms tight chest, neat n tidy hair, clean face, tanned skin ... lol.. cos he wearing tank top, he shaved his armpits.. whenver he raise his arms to do stretching, haha.. it loks nice siazz hwahaah... n whenever we work out, i always look at him.. everything.. arms legs, postures.. some times of cos his face n muscles n chest..

den tis week, even worse... ok.. tis wk he maybe forgot to shave his moustache.. got some ... uknow.. i forgot the term ahha... but tis wk.. still shiok.. n he wearing white tank top some more!!! muscles still so nice n the best thing is.. during our cool down, he has to sit down n face us.. he will spread his legs wide open lol.. yumzzz. n u knw wat? after tis session finished, i went up to him to tok abt boxercise.. n he demo some steps for mi.. n i was peeping at his chest from time to time.. n whahaahah... i finally saw his shirt pressing onto his left nipple!!! located at a far lower corner wahhaha...

tis is why i say i sound perverted.. anyway, such close encounter wif him.. jus ok lah.. found tat his head's hair (not other places, mind u) is bitta thick.. too thick for him.. wish to tell him tat, he will look better wif thinner hair.. wif his muscles, short n thin hair, he'll look decent, innocent, n wif a monstrous FIG...

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den in the evening, boarded a bus home from office.. n wah, i din realise.. got a guy sittign opposite mi.. n he look so much like those broad chest jap guys siazz!! his hair, looks, facial hair.. n his shirt has the top 2 butts undone... look HOT siazz.. n he was sittign wif his legs WIDE open.. tight shirt/pants.. cool..

i've decided... to keep my private pix from unwanted eyes, i'll share them wif ppl on my msn contacts,, if u msn to ask mi for the pic...

feel like updating my blog.. but at a loss of wat to say.. lol.. am i getting too serious in forgetting wat happens to mi? i mean the bad stuff... so seriosu tat, i oso.. forget... umm, no, i dun think i forget good stuff.. jus tat, too busy wif my life, tat i din have enuff time to blog the happy stuff... i've lost the mood n the feel to blog abt these... din even have time to read frns' blogs..

umm, 1 thing in my mind... haha.. few things in my mind in fact, but jus blog the one tat is most memorable in my mind, n i dun wanna forget wat happened.. n i finally understand why some ppl cant keep secrets, or tend to make some affairs publicised haha..

jus 1 wk b4 20th jan, i saw my msn contact stating he's selling dxo tix. den i realise tat he's out to earn a fast buck. but he din see whether he's got the resources anot, n whether the tix can make sales anot, n whether he got enuf time to sell anot. he's still nsf boy.. still decent n fresh in thinking.. innocent too. to mi, he is not those who know how to lie.. or those who dun lie.. very innocent in thinking.. so i decided to help him..

i offered to take the tix.. so he demanded to knw how i gonna sell them.. i guess he knw i gonna jus buy from him so he dun wan tat.. well, if i tell him the truth, he sure dun wan.. but i knw wat he';s trying to do, so i surely cant tell him wat i plan.. he keep pestering mi to say who i gonna sell. to stop further pestering, i warned tat, if he wan mi help him, stop asking how/who/where i gonna sell.. he stll persisted.. so i jus took back my offer to help.

i knw tat, if he so stubborn like the past mi, den i cant help him at all. or, if he knw wat trouble he got into, n how despo he is to get the tix off his shoulder, he'll ask for my help again, but stop finding out how i gonna sell...

he den, apologised, n asked mi to help.. so i ask on msn who wnana get the tix, n oso sms my entire hp contacts. got some ppl reply, but none taking up the tic, cos it's NOTHING GREAT. jus drinks, cheerleading gers (eeee), n live band... or maybe it's more for some niche clietns who i haven met.

tis nsf boy oso ask wat i wan him do in return.. i asked him wat he can do.. he say dunno...

oh well... the first thing tat comes to my mind of cos is to release my sexual urges... but well, since i wanna help, why take advantage of his situation?? wat's more, if i need help, do i wan ppl to say wat's on my mind?? so i jus told him, think nothign of it.. jus a hug will do.. den i told him, if he need money, jus discuss wif mi first..

days later, really no 1 wanna buy at all.. so.. i decided to take 30 tix from him.. n he say he'll try to find a way for the remaining 5.. but i offered to buy from him still.. later he asked mi to take 2 extra, cos his frn buying 3..umm ok, well, i decided to help him buy the 32 tix loh... haha.. quarter of my salary siazz.. but i did tell him, in future dun take the tix on impulse..

den, when we met, he still very shy.. n maybe he's not ready to meet mi, he's very apprehensive abt seeing mi.. but he got a "fag hag" wif him lol... well u know, the same type as my sonya pal.. but his fag is 2 yr older than him.

den his fag did try to fish info from mi, asking how i foudn so many buyers... i knw i still need to hide the truth.. cos they r pals.. if i say the truth, who knws if she will let the cat out anot.. unless he really manage to convince mi, i wun ever tell him.. cos i dun wan him to feel indebted to mi.. i dun wan him to feel bad. i jus wan him to learn his lesson, n dun.. do such things anymore.. n now i begin to realise the power of money.. the truth of "if money can solve a prob, it's not really 1 to start wif"..

anyway, being able to help him outta the crisis, i happy liao...

sometimes, i like to argue wif ppl... it somehow teaches mi how to stay calm n cool during heated discussions... how to think logically, without blurting any non-sensical lines... 1 day, it's the rush hr in the mrt. i am alighting, so i kept excusing myself to get near the door

den a burly indian heard mi, n moved SLIGHTLY toward the door n i followed.. he stopped there. i excused myself again, he moved a lil. i raised my voice, he said "can u hold on anot?" n stared at mi. i replied "i'm in a rush. may i?" n looked back at him for 2 secs. he maintained his glare, so i blinked n he started moving, but always looking back at mi.. i found another way out of the train n made my way to the escalator. den as i was abt to step into it, he walked just in front of mi, telling mi in my face, tat i'm not in a rush. i bochap him, treat him as non-existent. he den took the escalator step before mi.. n always kept looking at mi.. i knw he's got lotsa grumbles to speak abt mi..

but well, who will care at tat time?? my aim was alight the train n get out of mrt in shortest time possible. jus cos other ppl oso alighting from the train, dun mean they cant make way. some ppl r realyl rushing, or they dun wan to alight when other ppl r rushing in, or they prefer making their way out first, instead of waiting for ppl to lead the way.

so when the guy kept looking back, i simply looked away... he was oso looking impatiently at other ppl, but well, who will care wat he's doing?? if he tell ppl abt wat i did, they jus take him as crazy guy.. n if he's so free to follow n scold mi, i will probably warn him tat i'll report it to the cops..

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but well.. such defensive style aint taking place at work.. soemtimes, working wif an efficient high flyer, but a foreigner, is a headache.. true, she offers clear cut advice when complicated stuff need analysis. n she can identify which team to seek help from when issue arises. other than tat, it's stressful when her work style n mine dun gel.. there are conflicts from time to time.. until such a stage tat i dun realyl regard her as frn.. even during lunch, i prefer not to eat wif her..

well, i need to learn hwo to protect myself from nw on..

cool day... lol..

ytday, i kinda decided to re-pickup my gym routine.. so.. morning, i went for bfast.. den.. the kopitiam is packed. so i saw a guy sitting at a 4-seater table... he wearing earpiece.. i sat down there.. ordered my food n waited. den... haha.. i often stole glances at him... lol he got some bloodshot eyes though... :)

umm.. usually for swimming, i really enjoy swimming for all i care... no 1 fighting for the space tat i need. but tis tiem.. i wonder if i'm stuck at home for 2 long, so when i swam, i felt kinda.. lonely.. n found no joy swimming.. but still, i managed to swim for 1.5 hrs..

n to my surprise, when i finished my rinse after swim, i saw a colleague of mine.. a nice looking gentleman who i'm not interested in. haha.. i thnk he jus finish gym.. so he's oni in a pair of pants n came over to greet mi.. well, not a impressive or good body lah.. jus... no tummy..

den i went wif an old frn to buy some computer stuff.. whahaa... i admit tat giving biz to yandao guys overwhelmed mi a bit.. cos a shop selling dvd burner for 58, 1 sells for 52. the 58 shop guy told mi some info abt the diff between some formats (DVD -R/+R).. den the 52 shop (auntie) told mi there's no diff. i knw there has to b some diff.. if nt, y give it diff name?? so i told my frn.. i getting 58 tat 1.. claiming other than quality, i oso pay for the svc they offer.. whahaha..

den later, my frn wanna get some screws for her laptop. searched a few shops oso futile. den, passing by a shop tended by some poly age youngsters, we asked them, n they offered a lot of help in finding the screws. den b4 we left, i wish them HNY.. 1 boy replied "may ur biz prosper!" ahah... funny siazz!!! anyhow say the lines!! interesting boys heheh..

umm.. a nice beginnning for the new yr..

umm.. i may jus put my pix into frnster, inside of inside webshots...

n thinking of... putting my erotic pix somewhere... but... sighzz... contradictions... i dun wan my face to be linked to my body, but i wanna let ppl see... den sometimes, jus take pic of body oni cannot make it...

haha.. real funny... dunno if tat person will still b reading my blog anot..

she had a big misunderstanding abt mi.. i say she had, cos i really dun think it's an issue... i felt tat she read too much into my lines, n took it too hard. it happened months back.. den days back, i msg her, asking if seh still ok.. she say yes, n the past is oredi past. but well, our chemistry is no longer there.. or rather, she dun wish to click tat much wif mi..

den lately, she msn mi, saying she got a dog for adoption. so i ask around.. few days later, my colleague's frn wanna adopt. so i was happy for her n her dog. i msn tis person on fri (today). she say anytime can go her place to see. den later i told her we go tmr 6pm. she say need to chk. 1 hr later, i ask again, she say need to chk wif her mum, see if she at home. i take it tat she means it. mins later, i ask again, she say mum din reply.

from tat 5pm, until 8pm, i nvr got reply from her. i sms her to call mum if no reply. u knw her reply?

"give me a day den i give u ans"...

my reply "a day means by when"

she "sunday i give reply".

hahaha.. isn't tis super? ppl wan to adopt the dog, n usually it's done very quickly.. n tis is wat i get...

i thot it's clear-cut... wan the dog, keep. dun wan, give away... wah liao.. i dunno wat's on her mind... but ... who cares...

my seductive video lol

i starting to like a guy in K-one ...

simply look at tis cool dude.. the grin, the loose spot shirt.. n such HOT n... "holding" shorts.. wah liao... y mus he wear the shirt siazz... can jus wear the shorts oni mah...

wow... a hunk flexing his muscles :)

i like tis ger... her voice shld b marketed overseas...

kwon sang woo!!!! good amazing n fabulous body!!! frontal shot some more!!!

dear pixie.. hehe... i dun wan him to go topless at all.. tis kind of reveal here there is good enuff liao :)

my darling scofield.. not his real name, but tat's teh name i rmb him by... not good fig, but cool, hot, shaven head, n a bad boy image to boot.

a hk hunk... but maybe nt good for acting.. cos i dun see many movies or drama wif him inside.. he's quite fit lah.. den the middle boy.. cute loh

cool pic, i say. top left guy./. he fell over, and got water splashed onto him.. he's wearing black.. but can see tat his shirt is pressing onto his chest.. although not impressive, quite ... interesting hahah.. den btm left, a muscular guy jumping up ;) den.. the right side guy.. handsome, n lean n tone n muscled... wow.. dancers do have good figure!!

a good looking guy.. he's "zhang tian lin"

this caucasian is in an interesting posture!! lol..

edmund chen.... still maintains pretty well!!

1 galore of cute guys... white shirt boy.. he acted in a movie.. cute style. boy in blue. he's damn smart.. he din do well in prelim round, but beat 4 girls in the final round, n lost to a real smart china national girl.. pink shirt guy, i find him cute in a way when i took his pic.. guy in green jacket.. kinda cute :) argh.. so many ppl to describe... the guy wif "8".. when i saw the scene, he look cute lah.. n the guy in top row in red n green shirt.. a cute grad who's a boss :)

another singapore reality variety show.. he looks those damn serious guy.. but he looks kinda cute in tis way wahhaha

a cute boy dancing hip hop style for PSS2 audition hahah..

hehe.. a cute.. Rain-alike person? he's cute.. wif his face n image.. he looks nice.. n wearing singlet increases his appeal lol..

he's cute... as normal, i took pic of him during his bathroom scene.. but felt BAD abt it.. so i blocked it in tis pic hahah... he's got those introverted nature lah..

hehe, all the screens showing guys in buff.. first andy really got so good body???? den.. in the old days, tony leong acted in those 2nd rated movie..

lol.. tok abt work again...

i realised today, wat my upperstudy thinking abt..

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today, cos our supervisor instructed mi some time back to update the GST % change into our webpages, i sent an email out to the whole team, den the whole team scrambled to find if their page got state the GST % anot.. cos i knw my upperstudy got chekc it b4, i asked her for the list of pages that carries tis info. she ask mi y i wan.. so i sent her the email from our boss, which states the boss wan the info. she den emailed her file out, writing tat, the file was done some time back, but no 1 seem to care abt updating the file.. wah liao, i can feel her angst. n true, later i tried toking to her, but she was having her ear piece on... kinda like drowning her unhappiness in music..

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my boss today asked mi to a meeting room to discuss a proposal. i thot of asking upperstudy along, as we work together. but boss say dun need.. during this meetign, i really learnt a lot.. n i understand y boss left upperstudy out.. cos upperstudy always respond very fast.. n to mi, the upperstudy always insists on her opinions over mine.. u'll know as u read on. 'cos she respond very fast, wif her around, it's impossible for mi to learn or share my ideas at all... true enuff, later when we discussing altogether abt the proposal, boss mentioned that "email recipients will be a few", den i highlighted tat it's "group recipient".. upperstudy rebutted "there's no difference"... wat can i say... i know there's no diff, but the common understanding is not there.. email group n few recipient r different, but technically the same.

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i dunno if i mentioned tis b4.. we need to do a test for our website.. originally, it's oni meant to b surfing the site to check everythign stay the same, no error. den i suggested to sup tat i worry abt the access time. he agreed, n ask mi to do some time test first. den he updated upperstudy. u knw wat, later upperstudy actually tookt he trouble n time to create a proper scenario testing document!! after doing so, she sent out the email.. the sup reply "good work". lol. i can see hwo hard she try to prove herself..

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n today oso, it';s really n interesting to see how much she try to work harder, when she feel tat she did not realise wat i found out..

cos.. i was checking our script files to see if there's any additional connection from our server to outside server. i found some. so i asked some ppl help mi test out the additional connections. via email lah. she replied ,asking wat files was i referring to.. i told her the files n wat the files do. THEN, she came up wif a long story.. to prove tat she looks further than mi..

currently, our script ftps files to a server using another project's ftp acct. she says tat there's more things needed to be done. eg, wat if that proj team changes the password? den we need to update oso. very troublesome. n r we still going to use tat acct?? she gave 3 suggestions. which i felt r really jus suggesting.. cos this thing has been going on for months.. long b4 i join. no prob at all. den, rite now, she gave 3 suggestions. i knw it'd be for the good of future... but isn't she thinking too much?? she was the one who told mi, dun think 2 much, jus do it for now, till furhter announcements...

hahahah... i jus wanna luff it off..

caucasians' galore tis time.. pic 1.. i found tis side of the face great.. pic 2, a caucasian wif a cute body frame. pic 3, a closeup showing the.. bumps of the caucasian chest in Glitter.. oh well, mariah in it too, cos.. she's jus 2 gorgeous to take out..

oh... it's tat dashing guy from the taiwan drama.. lol.. i was so lucky to have caught this scene!! he finally undressed siazz!! n i was quick to capture so many snaps haha... =D n hehe, so paiseh tat i made his frontal pic the base pic hahah... anyway, nice n cute body to boast

ok.. tis 1 is that matured guy.. always act cute.. but he got mi lah hwahah..the 3rd pic.. shows most of his body siazz..

umm first 2 pix, the pixie again... 3rd pic, ehhe,, twins sporting 2 entirely diff looks hor? 1 is homely n nicey, 1 is trendy n stylish... haha.. den next pic is a singing group.. i prefer the blue shirt.. nicer looking lol

the cute boy from taiwan drama...

a VERY VERY cool guy rite?? i forgot how i got his pic...

tis is another sex show.. pure sex show... these guys r jus wearing some "armour" to cover themselves up. but inside is nothing. can see rite?? left side, the motorbike, the guy oni wearing tat cross over thing, n SHORTS.. n tattoo. nothign else. den 2nd pic, the chest is almost completely seen.. less the pair of hands not pulling hard enuff lol... umm got some chest hor? 3rd pic oso.. jus armour covering up.. wat more, the shorts is another armour oni.. wah, they mus b wearing HOT PANTIES DOWN INSIDE lol..

my dear xiaozhou.. but.. he disappointed mi in the final stage...

oh.. this guy.. i think he took part in singapore's talent search? shi bin? anyway, when i editing the pix, den i find him gradually a dashing fellow.. at first glance, jus a good face. but the more i see, the more dashing he gets.. lol.. damn it, i oni took his shots when he's lying on bed in hospital lol.. well somehow, tat's when guys wif figure or tone body gets to show off their fruits of training wat!!

oh.. just rmb'ed his name.. joachim.. from singapore idol.. cute guy/boy.. too bad, he din make it to the finals...

another pack of nice looking guys from ch U variety..